#i think that one-shot is fun but i wouldn't rate it that high next to other fics ive written

[training4theapocalypse]

Sweet (Cormac McLaggen x fem!reader)

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 15.5k

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, friends to lovers, mutual pining, confessions, GOOEY ROMANCE, Christmas 🎄

Summary: You try to ignore your feelings for your best friend, Cormac McLaggen. Reader and Cormac are both 18+.

A/N: A Christmas fic! The Sabrina Carpenter-fication of Gryffindor Common Room. I know everyone hates Cormac but my full-time job is actually fixing him (lets not look into what that says about me okay thanks). I wrote this for @cinderellasmissingshoes but it's been so long she's deactivated (RIP girl). Also, it turns out, anything can be a one-shot if you just post it all at once!!!! And nobody can stop you!!!!!

Masterlist

Chapter text:

The Gryffindor Common Room is a riot of gold and red, as laughter and music fill the room. Even though Quidditch has never been your thing, a team win is always a good excuse to get swept up in the celebration. You’re dressed the part, of course, with a red bow in your hair and wearing a borrowed, oversized Gryffindor training jumper that by a happy coincidence makes the gloss on your lips pop.

The victory has everyone riding high, but as much as you’re enjoying the party, you can't help feeling a little tug of concern for one person. You’re at Katie Bell’s side, amongst the throng of her teammates happily celebrating as the rest of the party-goers chant Ron Weasley’s name but your eyes search the crowd for a certain someone. You excuse yourself - Katie will be fine without you for a few minutes. 

Cormac McLaggen hasn’t been at all himself lately. And while Katie is adamant that she considers this to be an improvement, his newfound reservation is just plain weird. Katie told you to stop worrying about Cormac, that he was probably just sulking over not being chosen as Keeper for the Quidditch team this year and that he should just lighten up. And you’d probably agree if the change hadn’t been so drastic - usually so confident, even arrogant at times, he’s been acting almost shy lately.

Cormac’s tall, broad figure and golden halo of curly hair are easy to spot from the other side of the room. He’s half-heartedly chatting with Dean Thomas, who, like Cormac, is still nursing the sting of not making the team. 

“Cheer up, boys!” you call. Dean still looks sullen but Cormac's entire demeanour shifts when he grins at you skillfully weaving through the crowd towards them without spilling the two butterbeers in your hands. “Anyone would think we’d lost to Slytherin if they saw your faces,” you joke, slipping into the tight space next to him. 

"Well, we wouldn't have let so many in if I'd -" starts Cormac.

"If you'd have been chosen as Keeper," you finish. His many complaints about Harry Potter's chosen team are easy to memorise and rhyme off back to him. "I know. I know. But we won, right?"

“Since when did you refer to the team as ‘we’?” teases Cormac, accepting the bottle you thrust into his hands. “Big Quidditch fan now are you?”

You smooth down the jumper you’re wearing, so oversized that the hem of it sits just above your skirt. “Well, if I’d known I’d look this cute in the team merch, I might have taken an interest sooner.”

“I don’t care how cute you look, I want it back.” 

He flashes a smile and you can’t ignore the flurry of butterflies you feel. 

“Oh, come on. We both know it looks better on me,” you shoot back, enjoying the fun of prying a compliment from him. 

Cormac presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek, considering you, before finally concluding, “Debatable.”

You both laugh and you feel a warm sense of satisfaction that your attempt to take his mind off his exclusion from the team is working.

“Oldest trick in the book, mate. Don’t fall for it,” Dean interjects with a knowing smile, snapping Cormac’s attention away from you. You almost forgot Dean was there. 

“What’s the oldest trick in the book?” asks Cormac.

“Everyone knows if you give your girlfriend your clothes, they’re hers for good. You’re never getting them back.”

You and Cormac look at each other awkwardly. The flirtatious banter suddenly feels much more complicated by Dean’s assumption. 

Because Cormac is not your boyfriend. 

In fact, in the run-up to Yule Ball several years ago, he made it crystal clear that he wasn’t into you like that. 

Cormac opens his mouth to reply but you spare him the necessity of correcting Dean and hurting your feelings. 

“Oh, we’re not going out,” you blurt before he can. “I was cold when we were watching the game and Cormac was just being nice.” Dean’s sceptical eyebrow rises, flicking between you and Cormac. Attributing the sudden flush in your cheeks to the heat of the room, rather than embarrassment, you say, “Actually, I don’t need this anymore now that we’re inside - here hold this.” You hand Cormac your butterbeer and start pulling off the jumper.

“No, look, you don’t have to -” Cormac starts, but you’re already tugging the woollen fabric off over your head. The scent of him - clean, with just a hint of his woody aftershave - floods your senses, making your heart twist painfully in your chest at its sudden absence. 

You toss your hair back and hastily fix yourself.

“Here -” you say, taking the butterbeer back and replacing it with his jumper. 

“Thanks,” Cormac mutters, but there’s a hint of annoyance as he does. He takes the jumper before throwing a look at Dean.

“Katie’s probably looking for me,” you announce, needing to put some distance between you and this now-too-complicated situation. You turn on your heel, attempting to slip back into the midst of things with your usual grace, but there’s a slight stumble in your step - barely noticeable, but enough to rattle you.

As you make your way over to Katie, you’re distracted by a sudden onslaught of whooping and cheering. Through a gap in the crowd, you see Ron Weasley and Lavender Brown unreservedly snogging.

That’s odd, you think. You could have sworn he was going out with - 

The portrait hole opens and you spot a flash of bushy brown hair exiting the Common Room. 

A hand grabs your arm. “Sweet!” The familiar nickname that you’ve never quite been able to shake off - not that you mind it - there are certainly worse things to be called. “There you are!” says Katie, her eyes sparkling with post-victory excitement.

“Did you just see -?”

Katie rolls her eyes. “The giant squid impression in the middle of the room? Yup.”

“Do you think we should see if Hermione is alright?” you ask, looking back over to the portrait hole.

“Harry’s already on it,” Katie says, nodding toward the door where Harry disappears after Hermione. “C’mon, I need another butterbeer.”

As you follow her, it’s not long before Katie brings up her favourite subject of late - Professor Slughorn’s Christmas party in a few weeks. Neither of you made Slughorn’s elite list of attendees so the only way you’ll get invited is if someone asks you. As much as you’d love the opportunity to get dressed to the nines, you could do without the drama. If the Yule Ball taught you anything, school dances inevitably lead to heartbreak. 

“I don’t even want to go, anyway,” you insist. “See - this is a party. Slughorn’s will be so dry. I mean, there’ll be more teachers and Ministry bigwigs than students.”

“You know, if Cormac weren’t going, I’d suggest throwing our own party on the same night. But we couldn’t do that to him...” A mischievous smile dawns on her face. “Or could we?” 

You hesitate but Katie presses on.

“I bet he’d forget all about Slughorn if you told him we were having a party.”

“You really think Cormac would miss a chance to cosy up to old Sluggy?”

When the two of you make it to the drinks table, she leans in conspiratorially close, lowering her voice just enough to be heard over the noise. “What I mean is, maybe he’d ditch Slughorn’s Party if you asked him to.”

“No, he wouldn’t,” you dismiss the idea quickly, not quite meeting her eyes. “If Cormac was interested in going to a party with me, he’d have asked me to Slughorn’s. I shouldn’t have to plan my own just to - ”

To what? 

Go out with him?

You cut yourself off, but Katie’s sharp eyes catch yours. The noise of the party swells around you, enough to disguise her prying.

“What’s going on with you two, anyway?”

The question catches you off guard. Truthfully, nothing is going on between you and Cormac McLaggen. 

Well, not nothing on your part.

Even if you disregarded the way your eyes sought out Cormac’s reaction whenever you styled your hair differently, or how you sometimes overanalysed his extra-tight friendly hugs that lingered a bit too long, there was no denying you were - at the very least - best friends.

And that was the problem. You were friends. Nothing more. No matter how much you wanted it to be otherwise.

In the run-up to the Yule Ball two years ago, you overheard Cormac firmly assuring Oliver Wood that he did not find you attractive. Like, at all. 

You remember you were waiting on Katie finishing Quidditch practice in the courtyard, sitting behind the fountain in your usual meeting spot when you heard Oliver and Cormac at the other side of the fountain talking about the Gryffindor Team. You didn’t even lift your head from doodling on some parchment - the last thing you wanted to do was be dragged into a conversation about Quidditch.

Then the conversation drifted, from tactics to Quidditch team succession planning when Oliver left Hogwarts the following year and then, your ears pricked up when they started talking about the Yule Ball.

“I can put in a good word with Angelina about making you Keeper next year if you do me a solid,” Oliver said before lowering his voice. “Think you could ask if your mate is interested in going to the Yule Ball with me?” Oliver had asked. Your peacock feather quill paused as you sat up straight and held your breath.

There was a pause. 

“Yeah, I’m sure Katie would be up for that,” Cormac said eventually, his voice steady in reply.

“Not Katie. Team dynamics would get messy,” he said seriously. “The other one. Sweetie or something.”

The other one. Cormac had two best friends. 

That could only mean you.

“Oh,” Another pause, shorter this time, like Cormac was searching for the right words. “Are you sure you want to go with Sweet?”

The way Cormac said your nickname so incredulously made your stomach drop. 

“I’m not stepping on your toes, am I?” laughed Oliver.

You leaned forward discreetly, peering around the side of the fountain to see Cormac shifting uncomfortably as he deliberated on his next words.

“No, nothing like that. She’s… alright, I guess. Decent looking. But, not really my type. She’s kind of annoying, y’know? Pretty full of herself. A bit of an airhead, actually.”

You remember feeling a sting of embarrassment, sharp enough to make your eyes water as Cormac listed off all your supposed shortcomings. But you blinked it away, hurriedly gathering your things and forgetting your plans to meet Katie before they could notice you had been there the whole time.

At the time it hurt so badly. Because back then you had such a thing for him. How couldn’t you? Cormac McLaggen was the quintessential golden boy - tall, handsome, athletic - exactly your type on paper. Even if you weren’t his, apparently. And not only did he not want to date you, but he actually found the idea so repulsive that he was trying to put Oliver off you too.

In the end, Cormac’s disapproval didn’t deter Oliver. Even though Cormac reneged on his promise and never mentioned that Oliver was interested in you, Oliver still asked you to the Yule Ball without Cormac’s intervention. And you said yes, relieved that at least Cormac’s poor recommendation hadn’t dissuaded him. In fact, you got on so well at the Yule Ball, that you dated for a few months. Until he dumped you when he left school. But, you supposed, that was boys for you.

And it affected you. Between Cormac McLaggen’s lukewarm feelings towards you and Oliver Wood dumping you, you swore off the idea of dating anyone. 

It was easy to forget about Oliver when he left school. You gradually became friendly with Cormac again - you might even call him your best friend, aside from Katie, of course.

But you always kept your guard up around boys, never quite forgetting the sting of either incident.

“So, you wouldn’t go to Slughorn’s Christmas Party if he asked you?” Katie probes, bringing you back to the present.

Even though you trust Katie more than anyone, you’ve never told her about your feelings for Cormac or the utterly humiliating reason that you’ve never pursued them.

He’s just not into you. 

“We’re friends. That’s all. And that’s the end of this conversation.”

Katie sighs. “Okay, okay, I get it.” She spins around to the empty drinks table. “How have we gone through six crates of butterbeer already?” She groans. “Do you wanna come to the kitchens and get more?”

“I’ll go, you stay here,” you say and she immediately begins protesting but you ignore her. “Listen, this is a party for your team. You should stay.”

She hesitates before spotting Cormac across the room.

“Why don’t you go to the kitchens with -”

“If you mention Cormac one more time, I’ll lose my mind,” you warn her. “I can handle a trip to the kitchens alone. I won’t be long.”

Katie laughs, holding her hands up in mock surrender. 

“Okay, Sweet. I don’t know what’s got you so sour.”

You roll your eyes and ignore her comment. As you walk towards the portrait hole, you glance at Cormac and realise he’s already looking at you. You pretend not to notice like you’re scanning the room for someone else, before disappearing through the door. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later, as you walk back up towards Gryffindor tower, a few crates of butterbeer (that the house elves were extremely eager to bestow upon you) clink behind as they follow you, levitating in the air.

The cool, empty castle offers little comfort. You left the Common Room to clear your head, but all you’ve found since you left the kitchens are your own thoughts, swirling endlessly as you walk.

If Cormac wanted to ask you to Slughorn’s party, he would have done it by now. You’re not getting your hopes up again. And besides, why would he need to wait for a party to ask you out? If his feelings for you had changed since the Yule Ball, he could have told you at any point. 

She’s kind of annoying, y’know? Pretty full of herself. A bit of an airhead, actually.

Harsh criticism. Not entirely untrue. It’s not like you’re clever. And sure, you take pride in your appearance, but until you heard him say that, you didn’t think it bothered anyone. Especially not him. If you had to criticise Cormac, you’d probably say he was full of himself too. And as far as intelligence goes, it’s not like he’s the quickest broom in the shed either.

As you turn it over, replaying scenarios in your head that you haven’t revisited in a long time  - most notably, ones where Cormac didn’t talk badly about you behind your back - you walk straight into someone hunched over their knees at the bottom of the spiral staircase.

“Oh, sorry! Wait - Hermione?” you ask. The bushy-haired sixth-year looks up and hastily wipes her eyes. “Are you okay? Where’s Harry?”

Hermione swallows hard and nods, though her red-rimmed eyes betray her. “I told him to go back to the party. There’s no reason for both of us to miss it. I’m fine. Really. It’s silly.”

“You don’t look fine,” you say gently, sitting down beside her on the cold stone steps. After a pause, you add, “I saw Ron and Lavender.”

Hermione’s breath hitches, and she quickly looks away, blinking back tears. “I—I feel so ridiculous. I already asked him to Slughorn’s party, and now he’s… I should have known.”

You scoff, shaking your head. “You’re not the ridiculous one here. Honestly, I think these stupid formal events should be banned.”

Hermione lets out a half-laugh, half-sob - a wet, spluttering sound - but you catch the faintest glimmer of a smile, and you feel a small surge of relief. At least you’ve distracted her for a moment.

“I’m serious,” you insist, leaning back against the wall. “They’re more trouble than they’re worth.”

Hermione sniffles, wiping at her eyes again. “Maybe. But it doesn’t make me feel any less foolish.”

“It’s not foolish,” you say firmly, the butterbeer crates you were levitating now drifting to the ground beside you. “And to tell you the truth, I know exactly how it feels to have your heart broken at one of these things.”

She looks up at you, her eyes wide with surprise. “You do?”

You nod slowly, thinking back to your own past. “Yep. And besides, Hermione, you’ve handled worse than this. You stared down Umbridge, for Merlin’s sake. This? This is nothing compared to her.”

Hermione lets out a dry laugh, shaking her head. “It doesn’t feel like nothing,” she says quietly. “In fact, it feels… it feels worse.”

“I know,” you admit softly. “And I know it probably feels like you’ll never get over it. Like it’ll never stop hurting. But trust me - if I can get through it, you can too.”

She looks at you earnestly, her brow furrowing. “How?” she asks, her voice small but full of curiosity. “How did you get over it?”

The answer isn’t easy, and the truth is harder still. Convincing others - and yourself - that you’re perfectly fine, even when you’re not, is something you unfortunately have experience with.

You push yourself to your feet, brushing off your skirt and forcing a small smile. “By acting completely unbothered,” you say, trying to sound casual, even though the irony stings. After all, here you are, still trying to bury your feelings for Cormac McLaggen.

“We’re gonna go back to the Common Room and make it look like you don’t have a care in the world,” you say as you extend a hand to help her to her feet which she accepts. “And tomorrow we’ll find someone else for you to go to Slughorn’s party with. Someone better than Ron Weasley.”

“Who?”

Perhaps this is your chance to help Hermione and bury your feelings for Cormac in one fell swoop. Maybe, just maybe, if she went to Slughorn’s party with him, it’d help you finally put Cormac - and the lingering ‘what could have been’ - behind you too. 

If he was going out with someone else, you could draw a line under all this and move on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following Monday, Hogwarts students arrive in the Great Hall to find a winter wonderland. A whirlwind of snowflakes dances over the enchanted ceiling past icicle-adorned rafters. Enormous Christmas trees - decked in baubles the size of bludgers - flank the room. The usual breakfast smells of toast, bacon, and pumpkin juice mix with the scent of pine and cinnamon, giving everything a festive buzz.

But Cormac barely notices any of it.

Sitting at the Gryffindor table, Cormac stabs the fried egg on his plate, watching it ooze onto the rest of his breakfast like it might help him decide how to do what he was about to do next. Oliver Wood used to joke that Cormac had the appetite of a Graphorn, but lately, he hasn’t been feeling hungry. His mind is completely elsewhere.

He’s going to ask you. To Slughorn’s Party. Today.

You and Cormac have History of Magic classes together on Monday afternoons, just the two of you away from the rest of your friends. A rare moment alone. You’re always surrounded by people - constantly laughing, flipping your hair in a way that makes his insides flip, and you seem completely oblivious to how nervous he’s become around you lately.

“Can you stop murdering that egg?” asks Katie, jolting him out of his daze and glancing at his half-destroyed breakfast. “It’s making me queasy. That’s the last thing I need before we feed raw meat to Thestrals.”

“Sorry,” mutters Cormac, setting his fork down, though the uneasy knot in his stomach isn’t going anywhere.

Katie studies him for a second. “What’s up with you? You’ve usually asked me if Ron’s playing worse than you at least three times before the bell rings.” She’s grinning, but Cormac just shrugs.

“It’s not that,” he mumbles.

Katie raises an eyebrow. “Then what?”

Before he can answer, you appear, slipping onto the bench beside him with Hermione Granger in tow. You’re wearing a bright red and gold bow with your hair in that half-up, half-down style that he knows takes you forever to do. It’s probably why you’re late - as usual.

“Morning!” you chirp, grabbing a piece of toast off his plate without asking, your fingers brushing his for a second. The contact sends a jolt through him, but you’re completely unaware. “What’s with you two?” you ask, noticing the odd expressions on their faces. “You look like you’ve seen a Dementor.”

“Not Dementors,” blurts Cormac, the excuse coming easily, thanks to Katie’s reminder. “Thestrals.”

“Ugh,” you say, wrinkling your nose. “Rather you than me. Are you doing the N.E.W.T. in Care of Magical Creatures, Hermione?”

Hermione shakes her head. “I’d have loved to but I had too many other subjects this year.”

“Yeah, right. You’re only saying that because you’re friends with Hagrid.” Hermione smiles sheepishly. “It wouldn’t be too bad if we got to learn about nice creatures -” you start but Katie cuts you off.

“Well, life isn’t all Puffskeins and Unicorns,” she says, pointing forked sausage at you. “The creatures we’re dealing with are much more interesting.”

“That’s just another way of saying ‘ugly’,” you laugh, tossing your hair over your shoulder. In the process, the bow at the crown of your head slips off and drops to the floor. You don’t even notice.

Cormac does.

“And it’s dangerous too,” you continue. “Remember when your poor arm was burned by those Blast-Ended Skrewts, Cormac?”

“Sweet, you dropped this,” he says, quickly leaning down to retrieve the bow before anyone else can.

You reach up, feeling the spot where the bow was. “Oh, thanks.”

“Let me,” Cormac offers, his heart pounding as he tries not to mess this up. He leans in close, and the noise of the Great Hall fades into white noise. It’s just the two of you, and all he can think about is how soft your hair feels between his fingers.

“It’s kind of tricky,” you murmur, glancing up at him.

“I’ve got it.”

“You sure?” you ask, looking up at him in a way that makes his stomach lurch again.

“Easy,” he says, more confidently now as he finishes clipping it into place. “Like putting an angel on top of a Christmas Tree.”

You laugh, and the sound makes his heart race all over again. He quickly turns back to the table, trying to pretend that wasn’t at all nerve-wracking. But Katie’s already watching, her shrewd look making it clear she hasn’t missed a thing.

“So,” Cormac says quickly, desperate to change the subject, “What’s everyone doing for the holidays? Assuming no one’s mad enough to stay here?”

“Nope,” says Hermione brightly. “I’m going home to visit my parents.”

“Yeah, same here,” says Katie. “If you ask me it can’t come soon enough.”

“Tell me about it. I can’t wait to go home. My Uncle’s been invited to Minister’s house for Christmas lunch and -”

“You’re going so you can suck up to Rufus Scrimgeor?” asks Katie.

“Well, it has its perks. But mostly it’s because I haven’t seen my Uncle in ages. Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” says Cormac. And, he thinks, maybe his Uncle won’t tease him for being single again this year if he can convince you to go to Slughorn’s party with him.

“We’re getting ahead of ourselves here. We’ve got more pressing things going on before Christmas, Cormac,” you say. “Or have you forgotten about Slughorn’s party?”

The fork he’s holding clatters onto his plate. “I… er, no, I haven’t forgotten,” he stammers, his face burning as he tries to sound casual.

“So… have you asked anyone yet?” 

Your voice is light, casual, but Cormac’s pulse quickens. Is this… actually happening? Well, it certainly makes things easier. He swallows, trying to steady himself. 

“Not yet,” he starts, the words feel unfamiliarly shaky. He’s normally so self-assured that he hardly recognises his own voice. But you’re already cutting him off, oblivious to his growing panic. 

“Well, I was thinking, if you’re not already going with someone…” You shift slightly, glancing between Hermione and Katie before landing back on him. His heart leaps. Are you about to ask him? But when you finish, your words douse his hopes like ice water. “...maybe you and Hermione could go together?”

“Yeah, I’d - wait - what?” Cormac’s voice cracks, the sound of his own disbelief ringing in his ears. He glances at you, searching for any hint of a joke, any sign that you’re teasing him - but you’re smiling, unaware of the storm you’ve just unleashed in his chest. Didn’t you realise how much nerve he had built up, how many times he had rehearsed this in his mind? 

You don’t even realise you’re wrecking him - it’s just another Monday morning to you. Meanwhile, he feels like he’s accidentally tumbled down one of the castle’s trick steps.

“Oh,” Hermione says, clearly flustered. “I don’t - er - I mean, that’s really not necessary,” she adds, casting an awkward glance at Cormac, her cheeks reddening slightly.

“No, listen,” you insist in a low voice, glancing at the end of the table where Ron Weasley and Lavender Brown are engaged in some more intense snogging. “It’s perfect. Neither of you is going with anyone, right?”

The bell rings and everyone in the hall starts moving, getting ready to leave for the first class of the day.

“It’s win-win. This would annoy Ron the most,” you say.

“What’s he got to do with this?” asks Cormac.

“Long story short, Ron’s ditched Hermione for Lavender. And since you were so clearly better than him at Quidditch tryouts, I thought if she went with you it would piss him off.”

Cormac pauses, momentarily stunned. “...You thought I was better than him?”

“Well, yeah. Obviously. The only reason you weren’t picked is because of that last penalty. It was like you were confunded or something”

There’s a thud as Hermione unexpectedly knocks her bag from her seat and it spills open.

“Really?” asks Cormac as you both get off the bench to crouch on the floor and help Hermione pick up her things. 

“Yeah, everyone knows that you’re much more talented at - wait, Hermione are you okay?”

The two of you look at Hermione when you notice she’s turned white as a sheet.

“I’m fine,” she squeaks. 

“You sure?” you ask and reach out to grab a fallen book. You accidentally touch Cormac’s hand as he reaches for it too and the touch sends another jolt through him. “And it works out for you too, Cormac,” you continue. “Maybe if Ron is distracted by the two of you going out, he’ll play badly enough to get kicked off the team.”

Katie tuts but Cormac has to admit that you’ve got a point. But he can’t put his feelings for you aside because of Quidditch. Not again. Not after the Yule Ball fiasco.

You press the book into Hermione’s hands. “Look, just think about it, alright? I’ve got to go - I’m gonna be late for Muggle Studies.”

“I’m going that way too,” says Hermione quickly, stuffing her book into her bag and not looking at Cormac. 

And so, with a swish of red and gold, you and Hermione leave Cormac feeling like he’s just been hit by a bludger,

It wasn’t as if Hermione wasn’t good-looking. Everyone knew she was smart, pretty - she even used to date Viktor Krum. But she wasn’t… well, you. 

So why couldn’t he just say it? 

He walks beside Katie, silently replaying what he should have said in his head, so clearly as if watching it through omnioculars.

“Cormac, do you have a date for Slughorn’s party?”

“Well, actually, I was thinking about asking you.”

He avoids Katie’s gaze, instead busying himself with pulling on a scarf and hat, bracing himself for the freezing cold of the castle grounds. 

Feeding Thestrals feels like a much less daunting endeavour than unpicking this mess he’s gotten himself into. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, the Gryffindor Common Room is almost deserted. It’s well past midnight, and the only sounds are the crackling of the fire and the soft rustle of turning pages. As Seventh Year N.E.W.T. students, you, Cormac, and Katie have become accustomed to being the last ones awake, studying long after everyone else has gone to bed. When the clock chimes one, even Hermione bids you all goodnight before heading upstairs to her dormitory.

“So… any thoughts about my idea earlier?” you ask, trying to sound suitably impartial, and not at all conscious of the way you and Cormac keep sinking towards each other on the plush sofa and brushing arms. “You know, going to Slughorn’s with Hermione on Saturday?”

Cormac glances at the staircase leading up to the girl’s dormitory. “I dunno…”

Katie says nothing as the grandfather clock ticks ominously. Instead, she and Cormac exchange a look - one that you can’t quite decipher.

“Well, I think you’d be a good match,” you say, just to break the awkward silence.

“Yeah, well, Hermione’s not really who you want to go with, is she Cormac?” 

Your eyes fly up, looking between them.

Cormac shifts in his seat, eyes on his copy of A History of Magic. "She’s nice enough."

"That’s not what I asked," Katie presses.

Cormac looks at her seriously. “Stop.”

Katie shrugs, leans back in her armchair and flips through her book.

So, Cormac has someone else in mind for Slughorn’s Party. And he feels comfortable enough to make Katie privy to it. But not you. 

Great. 

So not only does he not fancy you, he doesn’t even trust you enough to confide in. And you thought you were best friends.

For some reason, that hurts almost as much as when you overheard him telling Oliver Wood that he wasn’t interested in you.

You don’t know what to say anymore, so you look down at your book again. 

It doesn’t take long for the words in A History of Magic to blur together on the page, as you read and reread the same passage, trying to remember the names of the loyalists from the 19th-century goblin rebellion. The plush velvet of the sofa feels impossibly soft and warm, and the heat from the fire seeps into your bones, lulling you into a deep, drowsy comfort. Your eyes droop heavily as you sink deeper into the cushions, your body slowly surrendering to exhaustion.

You lazily glance at Cormac’s open textbook, hoping he’s made better progress. He’s supposed to be reading the same chapter, but instead, he and Katie are talking softly about their holiday plans. Katie is debating asking her parents for a new pair of gloves after snagging hers during Care of Magical Creatures. Cormac is once again trying to brag about his Uncle taking him to the Minister for Magic’s house on Christmas Eve without sounding like he’s bragging. 

The sounds of your two best friends in quiet earnestness make you feel safe and comfortable - so comfortable that you don’t even realise you’ve dozed off, leaning on Cormac’s shoulder. 

That is until Katie closes her book with a loud snap.

“Right, this is useless. I’m heading to bed,” she declares.

Her voice startles you slightly, but you’re too tired to fully wake. You consider opening your eyes and lifting your head but it feels like too much effort. 

Five more minutes, you think. Just five more minutes in this comfortable position and you’ll make the long journey up the winding staircase to bed.

“I’ll go to bed soon,” Cormac says, his voice lower now, quieter. “I’m still reading. And I don’t want to wake Sweet”

You’re not entirely asleep, but not fully awake either - just hovering in that cosy in-between. His voice rumbles softly in his chest and the warmth of his shoulder feels solid, familiar. You could stay like this forever.

Your eyes remain closed, and you feel yourself falling asleep again listening to the sound of the merrily cracking fireplace and Katie’s footsteps retreating up the carpeted stairs. 

And then you feel a small shift. 

Cormac turns his head, pressing his lips against the top of your head and inhaling deeply, somewhere between kissing you gently and breathing you in. 

Your eyes flutter open, the haze of sleep fading as you realise what’s just happened. 

Did he just… kiss you? 

You look up. Cormac freezes as your tired eyes meet his alarmed, green ones. He opens his mouth - maybe to apologise - but whatever he was about to say disapparates when you look from his eyes, to his parted lips then back to his eyes again. 

He just stares at you, his breath held, searching your face for some kind of response.

You don’t say anything. 

For a second you’re not sure what to do. 

But then you just give the tiniest nod as your heart thuds in your chest.

He leans in, his breath is warm on your face. The clean, woody scent of his aftershave tingles your senses - it’s even better than when it lingered on his borrowed jumper. You close your eyes as he moves tentatively towards you. 

Then the thundering of footsteps as Katie runs back downstairs makes the two of you break apart hastily.

“Forgot my quill,” she announces. “Oh, are you coming up to bed, then?”

You swallow, your heart hammering. “Yeah,” you say, fixing your skirt and getting to your feet. “Sorry, must’ve dozed off.” You hastily grab your book,

“Yeah, same,” Cormac says, his voice strained. He clears his throat, gathering his things in a flurry of movement. “I think I must have too. For a couple of seconds.”

You glance at him but he doesn’t look at you as he gathers his things, his focus entirely on shoving them into his bag. 

You follow Katie up the stairs, your heart still racing as you try to make sense of what just happened. But did it happen? Or were you (like you’ve done more times than you’d ever admit) dreaming about Cormac?

Soon after, you lie in the dark, staring at the hangings of your four-poster bed.

Cormac said he thought he had fallen asleep. You had been so drowsy that now you couldn’t be sure if he had actually kissed the top of your head. Maybe he just rested his head on yours? Or maybe you dreamt it, woke up and immediately tried to kiss him. 

It’s a mortifying thought - that one minute Cormac had been asleep and the next he had woken up to find you practically ready to pounce on him. 

No wonder he looked like a deer caught in the wandlight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the boy’s dormitory, Cormac has similar thoughts.

You were asleep. And you caught him smelling your hair. Kissing the top of your head. Now that he’s removed from the situation, he cringes - hard, realising that it was extremely weird. 

Together with Katie’s obnoxious hinting that he really wanted to go to Slughorn’s party with you must have made you uncomfortable. Because you didn’t even look at him. So either your feelings towards him are so platonic that you hadn’t realised he was interested in you or you were choosing to ignore Katie’s comments altogether.

But he swears there had been a moment. A split second downstairs when your eyes met his, and he really thought you wanted him to kiss you. He can still feel your fingers brushing his chest, how you looked at him like you were waiting for him to close the gap between you.

And he almost had. 

Almost.

Then Katie had barged in, and you’d jumped away like you couldn’t get far enough, fast enough. Like you’d realised how ridiculous it was - how ridiculous he was.

He clenches his jaw, turning over in bed. You were probably horrified. 

He groans, burying his face in his pillow.

There was a moment, wasn’t there? 

Maybe he’d imagined how you looked at him. Maybe the exhaustion from studying had gotten to him, and now, his mind was just playing tricks on him.

But then again… maybe it hadn’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You spent the majority of the rest of the week avoiding Cormac. 

You’ve even been staying in the library with Hermione every night just to avoid Katie after she kept asking pointed questions about what happened after she left the Gryffindor Common Room the other night. Hermione is glad of the company - over the past few days, you’ve been talking a lot. Mostly to keep her mind off of Ron Weasley. And without her realising it, it’s been a great help in stopping your mind wandering to Cormac McLaggen.

Being surrounded by dusty books and writing an essay about plug sockets for Muggle Studies, isn’t exactly conducive to imagining yourself back in the Gryffindor Common Room, cuddled up with Cormac, seeing his face inches from yours, wondering whether or not he was about to kiss you.

But now it’s Saturday morning and tonight is the night you’ve been trying not to think about: Slughorn’s Party. 

You’re going to go to Hogsmeade to take your mind off of things. It’s one of your favourite places in the world - especially this time of year. Steamy pub windows, cobblestone streets dusted in white, smugly ordering Firewhisky in front of younger pupils. 

It’s just what you need to distract you from Cormac.

At least he’s not coming with you. Studying, he said. Although you think he might just be as keen to avoid you as you are to avoid him

But there’s no avoiding Katie forever, you think, as you and Hermione walk into the Great Hall for breakfast. As if reading your mind, Katie, who is already almost finished breakfast, waves you over and you have no choice but to sit with her and a few of the sixth years.

“Wait - are you sure you want to sit here?” you ask Hermione under your breath, spotting Ron and Lavender enthusiastically entwined just a few spaces away.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ve got a plan. Just like you said.”

Well, at least your advice is working for someone.

“Morning!” you say brightly, sitting on Katie’s left-hand side, across from Harry Potter and Parvati Patil. At least in front of a group, you should be safe from her interrogations about Cormac.

"Hi, Parvati!" says Hermione, ignoring Ron and Lavender completely. "Are you going to Slughorn's party tonight?"

You help yourself to some cornflakes and as Parvati passes you the milk, she frowns.

"No invite," says Parvati, gloomily. "I'd love to go, though, it sounds like it's going to be really good... You're going, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm meeting Cormac at eight, and we're -"

The jug slips from your hand, milk spilling everywhere. It splashes onto the table, drenching your skirt and soaking your tights. There’s a loud, wet sound as Ron, startled, pulls away from Lavender for a moment. 

"- we're going up to the party together."

Throughout all your nights studying together this week, Hermione had not shared that detail with you. 

You stare down at the mess, your heart pounding as if someone just pulled the rug out from under you.

"Oh, flipping heck,” you mutter, feeling the cold, wet fabric cling to your legs. 

Katie quickly vanishes the milk with a flick of her wand and hands you a napkin.

“No need to start throwing f-bombs - it’s only spilled milk” she jokes, taking the heat off of you but her expression is unusually careful as she watches you. You force a tight smile, but your heart is still thudding too fast, a mix of shock and something else twisting in your chest.

"Cormac?" asks Parvati. "Cormac McLaggen, you mean?"

Even though this was your plan all along, you never expected that just hearing his name would sting.

"That's right," says Hermione happily. "The one who almost” - she puts a great deal of emphasis on the word - "became Gryffindor Keeper."

"Are you going out with him, then?" says Parvati, wide-eyed.

Hermione giggles - a sound that cuts right through you. "Oh - yes - didn't you know?" 

A lead weight sinks to the pit of your stomach.

"No!" says Parvati, looking positively agog at this piece of gossip. "Wow, you like your Quidditch players, don't you? First Krum, then McLaggen..."

"I like really good Quidditch players," Hermione corrects her, still smiling. 

It’s too much. You think of Cormac and his stupid Quidditch jumper. Hermione wearing it at the game instead of you. Then you feel bad for feeling bad about them being together when it was your idea in the first place. Guilt makes the knot in your stomach tighten painfully, and you push your cereal away, the sight of food suddenly nauseating. 

“You alright?” asks Katie quietly, leaning towards you.

You nod stiffly, though your throat feels tight. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’d just better change before we go,” you sigh. “I’ll meet you outside.”

“You’re definitely still coming, right?” Katie asks, her eyes narrowing slightly as if she can sense you’re having second thoughts about going to Hogsmeade.

You hesitate. The idea of going upstairs, burying your face in a pillow, and screaming into it for the next several hours suddenly seems more appealing than pretending you’re okay in Hogsmeade. "I don’t know..."

“No, please, you have to come,” implores Hermione, not realising it’s her declaration that has you wanting to retreat upstairs until the end of term.

“Where are you going?” asks Harry, glancing at Ron and Lavender who have once again resumed their public display of affection, as if he’d rather be anywhere else but in their presence.

“We’re going to Hogsmeade. The three of us. Oh, and Cormac, obviously,” says Hermione loudly and for a split second you see the back of Ron’s head pausing.

Harry gets to his feet quickly. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“The more the merrier,” Katie tells him before adding to you in a low voice, “We’ll wait in the courtyard - I think my breakfast might make another appearance if I stay around Ron and Lavender much longer.”

This is good, you tell yourself, getting up from the table and following them a few steps behind. This is what you wanted. You told yourself you had to get over Cormac. And now he’s going out with Hermione. Just like you suggested. Your plan is working. This is good.

But it doesn’t feel good. It feels awful.

As you trudge up the stairs to the common room, you find yourself repeating the same mantra. 

This is good. This is what you wanted.

But the more you repeat it, the hollower it sounds.

By the time you come back downstairs to the courtyard, Harry, Hermione and Katie are having a snowball fight. It’s in full swing. And in the midst of it all, Cormac is there. Of course, Cormac is there. Hermione said he would be, didn’t she? And she should know. She’s his girlfriend, now. Apparently.

Harry fires a well-aimed snowball at Cormac but he dodges it.

“I told you, Potter - lightning quick reflexes!” Cormac shouts, his voice brimming with exhilaration. There’s something about the way his laughter fills the air that stirs something inside you that you’ve been trying to bury all week.

Harry launches another snowball, and Cormac, in an obnoxious display of skill, catches it mid-air and flings it back, hitting Harry squarely in the face.

“And the crowd goes wild!” cheers Cormac before chanting his own name. “McLaggen! McLaggen! McLaggen! McLagg - oh. Hi.”

He stops when he sees you. Like he wasn’t expecting to see you here either. 

“Don’t stop on my account,” you say, putting on a brave face. 

He grins at you “You joining in for once, then? I’ve never seen you throw a snowball in your life.”

“Well, maybe you’re about to,” you say, more threateningly than you intended, thinking that you’d quite like to smack him in the face for not telling you that he was going out with Hermione.

He takes a step toward you, misreading the challenge in your voice. “I’d love to see that,” he teases, scooping up a handful of snow and launching himself at you.

Before you can react, Cormac’s arm is around your waist, lifting you off the ground in one quick motion. The world spins as snow flurries around you, your shriek of protest escaping in the form of a half-laugh.

“Cormac!” you say, breathless. But your laughter dies almost instantly when reality sets in - Hermione is bent down, scooping up snow just a few feet away. His girlfriend is right there.

“Put me down,” you say, seriously this time, the joy draining from the moment. Your voice is firm, but not loud.

He stops immediately, setting you down gently, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What’s up?”

You step back, brushing the snow off your coat, swallowing the tight feeling in your chest. “I think you know.”

“Oh… sorry,” he says, now embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to cross a line or anything the other night -”

“It’s fine,” you say quickly, trying to keep your voice steady. “Don’t worry about it.” You give him a tight smile as laughter rings behind you, the others clearly not noticing or caring about your hushed conversation as their snowball fight continues. You turn away from him and call out to Katie and the others, “Are we going, then?”

The walk to Hogsmeade feels longer than usual. The others chat happily but the conversation is distant, and you keep your eyes on the snow-covered path. By the time you reach the village, the promise of a hot butterbeer should lift your spirits but it doesn’t. You feel disconnected like you’re watching everything through a fog.

“So,” Katie says, as you approach the The Three Broomsticks. “What made you come along, Cormac? I thought you were studying today?”

Cormac shrugs, but there’s a slight defensiveness in his voice. “Just something I had to do before the holidays.”

You wonder if it’s picking up a gift for Hermione. 

Katie raises an eyebrow, a teasing smile playing on her lips as her mind defaults to shopping too. “Determined to impress Scrimgeour, then?”

Cormac stiffens. “It’s not for Scrimgeour, Katie,” he says, his voice edged with frustration. “I just needed to pick something up.”

You don’t say anything, keeping your eyes on the ground as they continue their back-and-forth. All you can think about is how wrong everything feels.

When you reach The Three Broomsticks, Hermione opens the door, letting the warmth and chatter from inside spill out into the cold air as you go to file in behind her, Harry and Katie.

“Wait,” says Cormac, catching your arm before you can go in. “Can I have a word with you first?”

You hesitate, glancing down at his hand on your arm, then up at his face. There’s something in his expression - something hesitant, almost apologetic - that makes you pause. You really don’t want to talk but as usual, Katie butts in.

“We’ll meet you inside,” she says firmly, pulling the door closed in your face with a slam.

You have no choice but to follow him away from the door. Snow crunches beneath your boots as you walk, and the cold air stings your cheeks.

When you stop, Cormac turns to face you, running a hand through his hair, looking unsure of himself. “Look, I… I wanted to see if we were okay. You’ve been avoiding me.”

“You’ve been avoiding me too,” you challenge back.

Your breath fogs up in the cold air as you glance down at the snow, trying to collect yourself. It takes a moment for you to find the words, but they come out before you can stop them.

"I'm just... hurt, Cormac," you say, quieter than you'd planned. "You didn't even tell me you were going out with Hermione."

There’s a beat of silence as Cormac stares at you, his brow furrowing in deep confusion. He blinks, clearly caught off guard. “What? I’m not going out with Hermione.”

You meet his eyes, frowning. “I heard her say it. You're going to Slughorn’s party together.”

“I - yeah, I asked her last night because you told me to. But just as friends.” Cormac runs a hand through his hair again, exasperated. “But I’m not going out with Hermione - are you sure she told you that?”

“She told everyone at breakfast, loud and clear that -” 

“Everyone? Including Ron Weasley, you mean?” he asks, trying not to smirk.

Oh.

“She was… trying to make him jealous. Like I told her to.” You blink, trying to process what he's saying. “So… you’re not - I mean - she’s not your girlfriend?”

“No.”

You let out a shaky breath and he steps closer, closing the gap between you. His voice drops to barely a whisper, but it carries with it the force of something that’s been buried far too long.

“Do you really not see it? Do you really not know?” he says, his tone almost desperate now. “I’ll go with Hermione to Slughorn’s if you want me to. Hell, I’d go with Filch if it would make you happy. Because that’s all I want. To make you happy.”

“...Really?” You can hardly believe what you’re hearing. 

“Yeah.” He smiles sheepishly. “I thought you’d have worked out that’s why I asked her - since it was your idea.”

“Well… maybe you were right when you said I was an airhead,” you challenge. If you’re getting all of your confessions off of your chest, you might as well tell him you overheard this too.

“When did I ever say that?” Cormac asks, taken aback.

You hesitate, the memory is painful but clear. “You told Oliver that I was an airhead. And full of myself. And annoying. It was right before -”

Cormac groans in realisation and finishes the sentence for you. “- Before the Yule Ball.”

“Yep.” You nod, the hurt still lingering after all this time.

“So he told you all that, did he?”

“No… I overheard you. In the courtyard.”

“I -” he groans, looking so painfully guilty that you almost feel bad for calling him out. “I promise I didn’t mean it.”

“Cormac, you don’t have to make excuses -”

“It’s not an excuse.” He shakes his head. “Wood promised that Angelina would make me Keeper after he left school if I set the two of you up. And I wanted to make the team more than anything. Well - I thought I wanted to make the team more than anything.” He pauses, his green eyes locking onto yours. “But I was already planning on asking you to the Yule Ball. So I tried to have it both ways. I said that horrible stuff about you to put him off. And I never told you he was interested because… I was afraid you’d be interested back.”

“But none of it worked,” he continues, the regret in his voice cutting through the quiet. “He asked you anyway, and you said yes. And I never made the team in the end, so… it was all for nothing.”

You don’t really know what to say. How much time was wasted.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly, his voice steady but filled with regret. “For saying that about you. You didn’t deserve it. I was so focused on trying to have everything - I didn’t stop to think about what was most important.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” you say, your heart pounding. “And, for the record, I would have gone with you. To the Yule Ball. To Slughorn’s… any of it.” You look up at him, your gaze meeting his, and for the first time, it feels like you're both finally on the same page. 

Gently falling snow lands across your nose and cheeks as you look up at him. The space between you is almost nothing now. His hand reaches up and cups your face, his touch achingly gentle, almost reverent, as he brushes a wet snowflake from your cheekbone -

But then the door to The Three Broomsticks bangs open behind him, and Katie storms out, her face flushed and her hands gripping a package close to her chest.

“Katie?” you say, taken aback by her sudden appearance. “What’s going on?”

The door of the Three Broomsticks bursts open again. Harry and Hermione spill out looking frantic but Katie is already disappearing along the snow-covered street, the package clutched tightly in her arms.

“All she said was that she needs to deliver a package,” says Hermione, looking worried.

You and Cormac look at each other in alarm before you both sprint to catch up with her. You grab her arm. “Katie, what’s wrong?”

“Leave me alone!” she snaps, twisting to wrench herself free from your grip.

“Katie! What’s going on?” asks Cormac, running to her other side.

“Can you both just fuck off?”

“Woah, woah - what’s with you? And what is that? Who gave you it?”

“None of your business!”

You try to grab it. “Give it to me!”

The two of you struggle, you try to take the package from her and Cormac tries to restrain her.

Then all of a sudden, Katie lets out a scream so loud and so high that it almost pierces your eardrums.

Everything turns black as the snow-covered ground rushes up to meet you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You open your eyes a split second later in a sterile but comfortable room. Have you… apparated?

You try to sit up, but the world spins violently, your vision blurring as an antiseptic smell floods your senses.

“Woah - hold on, let me get Madam Pomfrey,” comes a familiar voice, soft but urgent.

Madam Pomfrey? 

You’re in the Hospital Wing. 

You blink hard, trying to focus, and slowly, Cormac’s face swims into view. He’s sitting at the edge of your bed, worry etched into every line of his features. His eyes, which normally gleam with a casual confidence, are shadowed with exhaustion.

Cormac.

He’s looking down the length of the hospital wing, scanning the empty beds for the matron, but when you touch his hand lightly, he turns back to you, his face softening with relief.

“Cormac, what happened?” You panic as you look at the empty bed next to you. “Where’s Katie? Is she here too? And that package? What was that thing?”

His brow furrows as he tries to find the right way to explain it all. "I promised I’d get Madam Pomfrey when you woke up," he says, glancing toward the door. “It was her only condition -”

“She can wait. Just tell me. Please.”

He studies your face for a moment, clearly weighing whether or not to tell you, but eventually, he sighs and moves closer, his voice low. “Katie... that package she was carrying - it was a cursed necklace. McGonagall thinks she was put under the Imperius Curse when she went to the bathroom. She wasn’t herself. You noticed it too.”

You swallow hard, the memory of Katie’s vacant eyes and her erratic behaviour flashing through your mind. “And when I tried to stop her?”

Cormac’s face darkens, his eyes flickering with something that looks dangerously close to fear. “The package split open. The necklace - it should have killed her. The curse was lethal.”

Your eyes widen, bile rising in your throat. “Lethal…”

He nods grimly. “The only reason she’s still alive is that it touched her through a tiny hole in her glove. Barely made contact with her skin, but even that was enough to put her in a bad way.”

Your blood turns cold, the weight of his words pressing down on you like a heavy stone. “Where is she?” you whisper, dreading the answer. “Is she… is she alright?”

Cormac’s jaw clenches, his voice barely above a whisper. “She’s at St. Mungo’s. They don’t know when she’ll wake up. But she’s alive.”

The room spins, this time from the sickening realisation of how close you were to losing her. Your mind races, fear wrapping its cold fingers around your heart.

“That curse was dark magic - whoever planted it knew exactly what they were doing.”

“Katie…” Your voice cracks as you press your palm to your forehead, struggling to process it. “If I hadn’t tried to take the package -”

“Hey - no.” Cormac’s voice is sharp but softens immediately. He moves closer, his hand squeezing yours. “This isn’t your fault. None of it. If anything it’s my fault -”

“Cormac…”

“No, listen. If I hadn’t asked to speak to you outside - I mean, when do you or Katie ever go to the bathroom alone? The person who put her under the Imperius Curse might not have tried if there were two of you there.”

“It’s not your fault either, Cormac. The only person to blame is whoever gave her that necklace.” You don’t even remember seeing the package split open. “But… I didn’t touch the necklace, did I? How come I’m in here?”

“Katie, er… punched you. Knocked you out cold.”

You hadn’t expected that. You find yourself lost for words, not quite able to believe what you’re hearing.

“She was under the Imperius Curse… not in her right state of mind,” continues Cormac, watching you carefully and you give him a small nod.

Silence stretches between you. The hospital wing feels eerily quiet - no bustling, no holiday cheer, just the faint sound of the fire crackling somewhere in the distance. No usual sounds of excitement of the last night of term. 

The last night of term.

You glance at the snowflakes drifting down, a sense of dread creeping over you. “Cormac… what time is it? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for Slughorn’s Party?” you ask, knowing that he’d hate to miss the opportunity to network with all the people Slughorn would want to introduce him to.

Cormac shifts a little closer. “Slughorn’s party was two nights ago.”

“Two?!”

“Yeah,” he says, sounding more casual than you’d have expected.

The realisation hits you like a punch to the gut.

“It’s… it’s Christmas Day, then?” you whisper, your voice hollow, the words barely registering as they leave your mouth. “We’ve missed the train.”

Cormac shrugs again, but the weariness in his eyes betrays him. “Yeah.” His tone is light, but you can see the exhaustion etched into his features, the slight slump of his usually easy posture. He’s trying to downplay it like it’s no big deal.

But then it hits you. You stare at him, your thoughts slowly clicking into place. “Did you end up going to -” You stop yourself, feeling like it’d be incredibly selfish to ask if he and Hermione went after all, considering everything that happened.

He rubs the back of his neck, looking away like he’s embarrassed. “Slughorn’s Party? Yeah… I didn’t go. I’ve been here.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be… I - I don’t know if you remember what we talked about in Hogsmeade but -”

Butterflies erupt in your stomach as soon as you recall what he said to you. “I remember.”

“Well, I didn’t really want to go without you anyway.”

You open your mouth to respond, but no words come. You don’t know what to say. How do you thank someone for missing something like that because of you? For staying here over the holidays, for caring, for... everything.

Just as you’re about to say something - anything - the doors to the Hospital Wing swing open.

Professor McGonagall strides in, her expression as serious as ever, but there’s a flicker of relief in her eyes when she sees you sitting up. 

Behind her, Madam Pomfrey hurries in and starts checking you over, pouring a large bottle of bright golden Invigoration Draught into a cup for you. At her instance, you drink it in one gulp - it’s sharp and spicy, and less gruesome than you’d braced yourself for. As the heat spreads through your chest, you feel a bit less confused. 

“Well, it’s good to see you awake,” McGonagall says briskly. “Miss Bell is receiving the best care at St. Mungo’s. The Healers are doing everything they can.”

Everything they can. It doesn’t feel like enough.

“Have we missed dinner, Professor?” asks Cormac, hopefully.

“I'm afraid so, Mr McLaggen,” says McGonagall, less sharply than you're used to her addressing him as she looks from his tired demeanour to his hand holding yours. She waves her wand and a tray of sandwiches is summoned on the table beside you. “I’ll notify your parents that you’re awake and both of you can take the Knight Bus home from Hogsmeade tonight.”

“Not tonight,” says Madam Pomfrey. “Another Invigoration Draught tomorrow morning. Then you can go home.” 

Your heart twists painfully, the weight of everything pressing down on you. Katie’s in St. Mungo’s, fighting for her life. Christmas has come and gone, and the world outside feels like it’s moving without you.

“Do I have to stay in the Hospital Wing tonight?” you ask, thinking you’d like nothing more than to sink into your four-poster bed upstairs.

Madam Pomfrey hesitates.

“Oh, please, Madam Pomfrey. It’s Christmas,” you pout. “I’ll come back here after breakfast tomorrow.”

“Before breakfast,” she says sternly. And once you agree, she and Professor McGonagall leave.

Cormac is still here, beside you, his hand lingering on yours, his presence steady and comforting despite everything. 

“When was the last time you slept?” you ask.

“I -” He pauses. “Not for a few days.”

You insist that he go back to Gryffindor Tower and he eventually agrees. Cormac grabs a couple of sandwiches, flashing you a tired but grateful smile. 

“See you at breakfast,” he says softly, and with a quick wave, he slips out of the Hospital Wing, leaving the room quiet and still.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dormitory is dark and eerily silent. Too silent. You’re used to the comforting background noise of sharing a room with four other girls - the soft rustle of sheets, the occasional sleepy murmur, the muffled creak of bedsprings. Tonight, without them, the emptiness feels vast and oppressive, as though the walls themselves are holding their breath.

You had expected Cormac to be in the Gryffindor Common Room when you got dressed and came upstairs. But he wasn’t there. He was in bed - no doubt shattered after sitting by your side in the hospital wing for two days straight. Two long, harrowing days where you were unconscious and he was busy worrying about both you and Katie.

Katie. The thought of her pulls at your chest like a lead weight. She’s at St Mungo’s. Alive but unresponsive. The cursed necklace nearly killed her. And while Madam Pomfrey has done her best to reassure you that she’s receiving the finest care, the image of Katie in St Mungo’s is enough to keep you awake.

It doesn't help that the Invigoration Draught has worked too well. You’re frustratingly alert. You’ve never noticed the grandfather clock much before but its ticking serves as a reminder of how much time is passing without you being able to sleep.

You wonder if Cormac is in the same predicament. He was tired but maybe everything that’s happened is keeping him up too. Cormac - of all people - stayed with you through it all. Missed Slughorn’s Party. Didn’t go home for Christmas - 

He didn’t go home for Christmas.

You sit bolt-upright in bed.

That means he didn’t go to the Minister for Magic’s Christmas lunch with his Uncle today. He missed it. It’s all he’s been talking about since November and he missed it.

All so he could stay here at Hogwarts. 

With you.

Something swells in your chest. A little guilt mixed with, well… overwhelming affection. Did you even thank him properly? You can’t remember - everything after the cursed necklace feels like a blur. You swing your legs out of bed, wincing at the icy chill of the stone floor against your bare feet.

You walk quietly towards the boy’s dormitory. The stone floor is freezing on your bare feet as you tiptoe. Though you’re not sure why you’re being quiet - you didn’t see anyone when you walked through the Common Room earlier. You think that you and Cormac might be the only two people in the whole of Gryffindor house that are here for the holidays.

The door to the Seventh-Year boys’ dormitory creaks faintly as you push it open. “Cormac?” you whisper into the darkness.

There’s a faint stir, followed by a groggy, half-asleep voice. “Hm?”

You cross the empty room, the cold gnawing at your skin, and perch on the edge of his bed. “Are you awake?”

“Wha?” he asks, blearily. 

The cold air makes goosebumps rise on your skin. “It’s me,” you say as you sit on the edge of the bed. 

Cormac sits up slightly, blinking at you in confusion, his hair sticking up in every direction. “What are you doing? This is the boys’ dormitory.” He pulls the duvet to his chest. You try not to notice that he’s not wearing a t-shirt. “Are - are you okay?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Cormac rubs his face, his tired brain catching up. “Katie is going to be fine,” he reassures you. “We’ll visit her as soon as we’re allowed.”

“I know,” you say. She’s getting the best care possible. And it’s not like either of you can do anything about it. “It’s not just Katie. Well, that’s part of it. But it’s that I realised… you missed Christmas lunch with your Uncle - and the Minister.”

“Oh. Yeah. It’s fine. It doesn’t matter.”

“It’s not fine. It’s all you’ve been talking about for weeks,” you insist, making a conscious effort to stop your teeth from chattering. “Missing your Uncle. Seeing Scrimgeour again. The fact you stayed here with me instead… that’s like, the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” 

Cormac fumbles for his wand on the bedside table, muttering “Lumos.” It lights the nearest lamp. You scoot closer to him on the edge of his bed. The soft glow of the lamp bathes the room in warm light, and he turns to look at you properly, his eyes - greener than you’d ever realised - serious and searching. 

“It was nothing. I told you already.”

“Well… I just wanted to say thank you -” you take a steadying breath, moving closer to him again. “- And… do this.”

Without thinking, you lean in, your heart racing. You close the distance between you and press your lips to his before you can second-guess it or get interrupted again.

Cormac pauses, completely caught off guard. You can feel the surprise in his stillness, but it lasts for barely a second before he responds with a surge of enthusiasm that almost takes your breath away. 

He shrugs his bedsheets aside, sitting up so he can deepen the kiss, his lips warm and eager against yours. There’s no hesitation now, just the full force of his want, crashing into you like a tidal wave.

It’s everything you wanted it to be. He’s a good kisser. Really good.

You try to put a lot of meaning into the kiss. That you’re grateful for him staying here at Hogwarts with you. That you forgive him for his stupid, blundering mistakes before the Yule Ball. 

But mostly, you try to tell him that you’ve been in love with him forever. Ever since you sat beside him on the Hogwarts Express on the first day of school.

You intended to give him a quick goodnight kiss and go back to your dormitory but the thought of leaving quickly leaves your mind when he parts his lips, tender and soft as Honeydukes caramel, as he explores the taste of your tongue. His hands wrap around your back, encouraging you closer, pulling you onto his lap so you’re straddling him. 

You were freezing a minute ago but his bare chest and shoulders are warm and he doesn’t seem to mind your cold hands traversing over his body. 

You need him. This is new territory. This is… you’ve never felt like this before. Well, maybe alone in your bed, but not with other people. You haven’t done anything more than kissing before.

But this is already more than just kissing, you think, as your tongue meets his again as he licks into your mouth. This is hot and heavy. You’re already starting to feel like you’re not close enough to him. 

And so does he. 

You feel a firm bulge pressing into your open legs and with a jolt of excitement, you realise he’s only wearing boxers. Everything below your waist throbs hot and sticky as his hips subtly twitch upwards, pressing against your pyjama shorts.

The ache between your legs is too unbearable to ignore. You adjust your hips and the friction against your bundle of nerves is white hot, almost dizzying. He responds to your movements by gripping onto your hips, his cock twitching against your pussy, just two thin pieces of material between you. You’re positively burning up now as he lets out a low groan into your mouth as you kiss him, before pulling back to suck on his bottom lip.

“Fuck…” you murmur, as you wriggle your hips impatiently. But when you say that he pulls back to look at you, his eyebrow raised. “What?” you ask.  

You don’t want him to stop - not now.

“I’ve just never heard you swear before,” he grins and your cheeks burn.

You bite your lip. “It just… slipped out.”

“I like it…” he says, eyes glancing over your chest as it rises and falls rapidly in time with your breathing. 

His fingers hook around the straps of your tank top, pausing just before they drop over your shoulders. The touch is featherlight like he’s waiting for something. Then his voice, low and careful, breaks through the charged silence.

“Is this okay?” he asks softly, his eyes meeting yours.

You nod and then, realising what he’s just said, you blink. “You’re... asking?”

Cormac tilts his head slightly, frowning just a little like something about your surprise bothers him. “Of course I’m asking,” he says, his voice quieter now, but insistent, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

You swallow, looking away for a moment, feeling still warmed by the way he’s watching you. Nobody’s bothered to ask you if they could touch you before. It’s…. well, it’s classic him. Considerate. Sure enough of himself that he genuinely would respect whatever answer you gave him. 

It makes you want him even more.

“You can - you can touch me. Wherever you want.”

You place your hands on top of his and help him slip your straps down, pulling your top down over your breasts.

“Fuck…” Cormac takes a deep, steadying breath. He tilts his head up and looks at the hangings above the bed.

“...Cormac?” you ask, uncertainly. “Are you -?”

“Yep,” he tells the hangings. “It’s just - I mean, I’ve just - thought about this moment a lot. And in no version did it involve me - y’know - making a mess of myself just from seeing your tits.”

A mischievous smile creeps across your lips. “Are you about to?”

“I’ll be fine - wha - oh, that is not helping.”

You slowly grind your hips against his and place his hands over your breasts. The underside of his cock twitches again against your now soaked pyjama shorts.

“I’ve thought about it a lot too,” you whisper, pressing your lips against his ear. “You can cum like this. If you want.” 

“That would be - ah, fuck - completely fucking embarrassing,” he says, his eyebrows knitting together.

“I think it’s hot.”

As soon as you say that, his shoulders relax and he buries his face between your tits with an agonised groan. Your hands tangle in his hair as you rock restlessly against him, moving your hips in search of the gnawing need between your legs. 

Cormac swirls his tongue, open-mouthed and panting against your skin. He pushes your tits together, toying with your nipples, pinching the hardened buds between his fingertips in a way that makes you let out an involuntary squeal.

“Too hard?” he asks, concerned, and you shake your head fervently.

“Do it again,” you whimper.

You grind yourself along his rock-hard bulge, feeling exceptionally greedy as Cormac toys with your tits. Pleasure swells in your abdomen. God, this feels good. He drinks up every noise you accidentally release, as you hover on the edge - wasn’t he the one who was supposed to be close?

Suddenly, Cormac grabs your hips, stopping you from moving and you almost cry out in protest. He breathes shakily, adjusting himself.

“Did you just…”

“Not yet,” he says, and before you know it he’s manoeuvring on top of you, flipping you on your back and splaying you out on his bedsheets. “I need to find out just how sweet you taste first.”

This is more like the Cormac you know. He’s been so reserved, so unlike himself around you for the past several weeks that you almost forgot how cocky he could get.

And wow, do you like it.

“Cormac,” you whisper, feeling yourself turn crimson now under his touch. 

He plants a trail of kisses along your collarbone, down your torso and pauses just below your navel. Cormac hooks his fingers in the waistband of your pyjama shorts and you arch your back so he can remove them and toss them onto the floor in a pathetic heap.

Cormac drags the pads of his fingertips across your flushed, slick pussy. “Is this… for me?” He gives you the widest, most gleeful grin you’ve ever seen plastered on his face as he laughs once, under his breath. “You’re so wet.”

“Don’t laugh,” you pout - although from the way he’s lighting up, you can tell he likes the effect he’s having on you.

“You’ve got to admit, it is kind of funny. How everyone calls you Sweet because you’ve got this ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ thing going on but here you are… sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night.”

Your hips buck as he slides his fingers through your folds, dragging your arousal across your clit. An uncontrollable whine leaves your mouth as his fingers glide up and down, up and down. He rolls his tongue against the inside of his cheek thoughtfully as he looks you over. “I wonder what other swear words you know…”

“I - ah - I told you it just slipped out -” you stammer. Goosebumps break out along your arms - this time it’s nothing to do with the cold - you’re burning up, hearing him talk to you like this. But the more you blush, the more it spurs him on. 

Cormac gives you a lop-sided smirk as he drags gentle, lazy circles around your clit. “So… that kind of talk is just for me, right?” he asks. You wriggle again, opening yourself up wider, silently willing him to put his fingers inside you. 

“Yes,” you whimper. He’s got you wrapped around his finger - almost literally. You’ll say anything he wants to hear. Do anything - everything that he wants. Give him anything he asks. As long as he keeps touching you like this.

You make a soft, vulnerable sound in bliss, feeling yourself slowly falling apart at how he’s circling over that little bundle of nerves that makes your eyes fucking roll back. He hisses an inhale through his teeth, watching your reaction. 

And then suddenly, he’s pushing in and curling two thick fingers inside your eager, soaking wet pussy and hooking them tight against your g-spot.

“Oh.” Your hand flies blindly down to touch his face - just for something to feel - and his expression changes from a smug smile to stern concentration. 

Your thumb brushes along his cheekbone, grazing the rough stubble of his jaw. He tilts his head just enough to kiss your palm, the warmth of his lips lingering against your skin, sending a spark racing up your arm. 

Then his eyes find yours - those green eyes, darker now, pupils blown out with a burning intensity that knocks the breath from your lungs. The way he looks at you, unflinching, unrestrained, sends a rush of heat through you, making your heart pound and your pulse quicken. 

You almost cry out when Cormac lowers his head and his soft lips envelope your clit. You clench around his fingers and tense your stomach when his tongue swirls even hotter and more dextrous than his fingers.

“Mhmm,” he says, pressing a kiss against your inner thigh before looking up with a wicked grin. His chin is wet. “You are sweet.”

You bite your lip and let your head roll back as he resumes his gentle licking. You can hardly believe this is happening. You’re trembling as you try to suppress another squeal but it’s like he can read your mind - 

“It’s okay to make noise. Nobody’s here. You don’t need to hold back,” he says between sloppy sucking. You remind yourself, that you’ve been best friends for so long he can probably read the nuances of your body language.

“Ah - okay, okay. Fuck - Cormac,” is all you can manage.

“That’s my girl.”

Oh, fuck. Why did he have to call you that? Your pussy clenches tight, neediness swelling in waves in your abdomen.

And then you don’t expect the way his whole arm moves as he picks up pace. At first, you feel jostled, almost manhandled when his fingers don’t go in and out but instead curl into you with such intense pressure that you feel like you can’t keep up. It’s too fast. Too much. 

Until it suddenly isn’t. 

The flat of his tongue rubs against your clit in time with his fingers pressing against your g-spot. Blazing, white-hot heat twists tightly in your pelvic floor muscles. Your hand slides down to the juncture of muscle between his neck and his shoulder as you grip helplessly, feeling the relentless pressure of him stimulating that perfect spot deep inside you.

“Cormac,” you pant, as your walls twitch and tighten around those two fingers. “I’m - ha - that’s - yeah, there.”

“Mhm,” he murmurs, sending vibrations across your clit. His eyes move back to your face. You convulse around your best friend’s fingers as he pulls you closer and closer to the edge. You’ve stopped wriggling, chasing your release - you don’t need to. Your whole body goes limp as you just let him drill inside you.

“Yes,” you say, biting your lip, your eyebrows knitting together, losing yourself in the mindless sensation. “Fuck, yesyesyesyes -”

He looks into your eyes while you plead for him as he pulls the orgasm from you. You clutch on his shoulder, feeling his hand working between your legs, pulling you higher and higher and - 

Fuck.

Everything plummets. 

White noise rings in your ears as your insides twist and release, sending agonising pleasure rippling through your whole body, more bright and explosive than anything you’ve felt before.

His hand slows down, dragging out the boiling hot aftershock, massaging your pussy until you’re a trembling mess.

At last, he slowly slips his fingers out from inside of you and lies next to you. 

Cormac can’t tear his eyes from you, watching the way your head falls back onto the pillow - his pillow - as you catch your breath, looking up at the velvet hangings above and raking your hands through your hair. 

You think you must lie there in stunned silence for a full minute before you realise he’s waiting on you to say something.

“What -” you swallow, your mouth feeling dry. “What time is the Knight Bus tomorrow?”

Cormac tilts his head, concerned. “After breakfast, I think. But, I mean… if you need space or something, then that’s fine -”

“No,” you turn your head on the pillow quickly. “No, nothing like that.”

You roll on top of him so that you’re straddling him again and lean down. Your hair tickles his cheek as you lean in close enough to see every detail of his face - the faint freckles across his nose, the shadow of stubble on his jaw, even the flutter of his lashes. Every inch of him feels so present.

“I’m trying to figure out how many times we can do that before McGonagall sends us home,” you smirk and relief crosses his face.

“I thought you were trying to see if there was any way you could leave earlier,” he murmurs, his voice rough with sincerity. 

You shake your head. “I want to stay here forever. I want -” You plant a kiss on his cheek and slip your hand between your bodies, your curious fingers lightly dancing over his hard cock through his boxers. “- I want you. So badly. You have no idea.”

“Pretty sure I have some idea how that feels.” Cormac reaches down to catch the waistband of his boxers with his thumbs and lets you pull out his cock. It’s just as gorgeous as the rest of him. You wrap your palm around him, feeling how warm and thick he is, and slowly jerk your wrist. His jaw tightens and he jerks his hips upwards to meet your soft, clenched fist. 

“That’s - fuck, that’s good -” he says, closing his eyes, his lips slightly parted. He looks so good like this, you think, as you watch him swallow thickly, neck muscles contracting.

You adjust yourself higher up his body so that you can kiss his exposed neck. As you keep working your wrist between your bodies the tip of his cock rests against your wet folds.

“Cormac,” you whisper, your voice trembling slightly, “do you want to…?”

His eyes open, searching yours with quiet intensity. “Yeah,” he says softly like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Your hand pauses stroking him, caught off guard by the steadiness of his answer. “You didn’t even let me finish the question.”

“I don’t need to,” he says, his voice gentle but certain. “If it’s you, the answer’s always yes.”

You can’t help it - the corners of your mouth twitch upward despite the nervous flutter in your chest and the fact that the tip of his leaking cock is pressing against your soaked entrance.

“Does it… do you know if it hurts?” you ask, your voice quieter now - hesitant.

Cormac tilts his head slightly, studying you, his brow furrowing - not in judgment, but in thought. “I don’t know,” he admits, his voice honest but calm. “I’ve never - ” He pauses for a beat, his green eyes flickering with something unreadable. “I haven’t done this before either.”

Your eyes widen. “You haven’t?”

He shakes his head, his expression softening into something almost self-conscious. “Nope.”

“Really?” The word comes out before you can stop it, your voice tinged with disbelief. Somehow, you’d always imagined him as… well, more experienced. The fact that he isn’t, that this is just as new for him, feels oddly grounding.

“Yeah, really,” he says, a small, self-deprecating smile tugging at his lips. His gaze remains fixed on yours, unwavering. “It’s not like I’ve never had the chance or anything… just none of them felt right.” 

You swallow hard, your throat tight. “And… this does?”

He doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah.” His lips twitch into a faint smile. “It’s always been you, Sweet. And if you want this too, then -”

“I do. Cormac.” You swallow, the truth spilling out before you can second-guess it. “Of course, I do. I’ve been in love with you since I was eleven years old.”

“So have I,” he says, his voice low but certain. “So there’s nothing to worry about,” he says softly, like a promise. “I’ve got you.”

For once, you don’t think, don’t question. You lift your hips back slightly, just enough for the head of his cock to part your folds. Cormac holds the base of his length, positioning himself so that you can balance your weight, one hand on his chest, the other on the bed.

You sink down, feeling pressure as his cock pushes through your entrance. You shut your eyes tight, expecting pain but you open them again when you feel two large hands caressing your hips.

“Still got you, baby.”

A deep heat blooms within you, sweeping through your body like a tide and leaving your thoughts in a hazy, breathless blur. You slide down further - so slick and hot between your legs that there’s no resistance besides the stretch of him filling you up. As you lower yourself, his reassurance becomes a dark, lustful groan and his thumbs press on your hipbones.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “Fuck - that’s - yeah -”

The back of your thighs meet his hips as you bottom out and the sensation is all-consuming, a wildfire of longing that burns away reason. 

His cock presses up against every part of your insides in a way that your body has craved for so long while you tried to ignore it. Every smile he flashed you from across the room, every time you brushed past him as he held a door open - it always made something in your core lurch. And now as you feel those same muscles tighten you realise the extent of your primal want for him.

“It’s… it’s in,” you whisper and it feels almost redundant to say it when it’s so patently obvious but you’re trying to tell him and yourself that you’re okay. It hurts a little - but in a good way - like when your legs ache from climbing a long flight of stairs. Except you never feel fire igniting in your belly like this when you ascend the staircase of the Astronomy Tower.

“Yeah, I’m inside you,” he says breathlessly. Then his expression changes, something flickering in his eyes - an intense, unspoken longing that unfurls in the space between you. “I’m fucking inside you,” he says again, the words low and rough, tumbling from his lips like he’s surrendering to a need he can no longer contain. He thrusts upwards and you gasp breathlessly, it’s as though the world tilts on its axis. 

“You good?” he asks, grabbing firm fistfuls of your hips. You nod, your thoughts disapparating around the edges when his cock twitches inside you. “You feel perfect.”

You melt so fiercely under his compliment that you need to look away. But when you look down between your bodies and see him buried to the hilt inside you, you can see why he had to repeat himself. 

This is happening - it’s real and it’s actually happening and it’s everything you ever hoped. 

You lift your hips in slow, stuttered little jumps, experimenting with the way he feels inside you. Is this right? Are you good at this? Should you move more like this? But Cormac helps, his hands on your tentative hips aid your momentum as he decisively guides you forward and back and - oh. 

Now, this is right. 

You know for certain now, as his thick cock glides in and out of your sopping wet folds, your arousal dripping all over him, and you can’t tear your eyes away in an almost enchanted haze. You know you must feel right for him too because in almost rhythmic agreement, his cock pushes against that deep sensitive spot you need as you convulse around him.

“Oh, shit -” breathes Cormac. “Look at me, look at me.” 

With difficulty, your eyes pull up weakly, looking away from his cock driving into you and meeting his gaze. He’s so present and focused - like he’s searching for something. 

Cormac’s hand slides from your hip and his thumb finds your swollen clit. You gasp, realising only now how close you are to the edge. You curse and Cormac grins. This is the answer to the silent question he’d been searching for.

“Fuck -” you whine, your pussy clamping down hard around him. “Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck -”

“That’s it, baby. Tell me how good it is.”

“Mhm,” you huff as you pick up pace, bouncing against his lap, chasing every bit of friction he has to offer you. It all melds together, the way his cock fills you up, his wet thumb rubbing against your clit, his other hand roughly guiding you up and down on him. 

“Fuck - it’s good - s’good -” you try and keep focused on his gorgeous look of concentration as your floor muscles clamp down. “You’re so fucking good.” 

He closes his eyes and an agonised groan tumbles from his lips when you say that. 

“Yeah? You like that?”

“Yesyesyesyes,” you whimper, every syllable punctuated with you riding him. Your eyes roll back as everything winds tighter and tighter, your nerve endings alight and sparking pleasure through your body. 

“Fuck, say it again,” he growls, his hips jutting up to slap against the back of your thighs. 

You don’t even know when you say next. All you know is that whatever filthy words spill out, make Cormac laugh triumphantly through gritted teeth as your world shatters. 

He murmurs your name - your real name, not that nickname everyone calls you - as he rubs your clit and fucks you exactly where you need him to, throwing you towards raw pleasure. 

“Are you cumming again, baby?”

“Ah - uh-huh,” you choke and even that little moan in the affirmative is a struggle. 

Every unbridled bounce of your hips sends your mind reeling as your orgasm crashes down over you. Your pussy throbs and twitches around him, squeezing him hard as you ride out the beautiful wave.

Fuck.

It’s messy, it’s aching, it’s blurry, it’s debilitating. You can barely see straight.

You twitch from oversensitivity as Cormac fucks himself up and into you in search of his own high. His hips thrust erratically and his face contorts in pleasure and then suddenly he’s forcing your hips down onto him, and with a guttural moan, he’s cumming deep inside you, holding you in place even as you squirm and shake through the aftershock of your own ecstasy. 

Everything goes dark - you see actual stars behind your eyelids. Vaguely, you’re aware of Cormac tenderly manoeuvring you with strong, safe arms so that you’re lying at his side, your head resting on his chest. He pulls his duvet over you - it's cosy and smells like him. It's wonderful.

“You’re shaking - are you warm enough?”

“Mhm,” you murmur, feeling your eyes grow heavy as you try to keep them open. “Just tingly. It’s… it’s nice.”

Cormac tilts your chin up and he leans down to kiss you, slow and lazy. He’s soft and warm. You’re safe and pliant. His fingers tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear and sweetly brush the curve of your jaw.

“Are you tired?” he asks.

“A little,” you say. It's an understatement. You're barely able to lift your eyelids to look at him. There’s something about being nestled here on his shoulder - like you were in front of the common room fire a few weeks ago - that just signals to your body that it’s secure and that you can relax fully. “You?”

“Yeah… I just don’t wanna fall asleep in case I’m already dreaming. I can’t believe this is real.”

“It’s real,” you sigh pleasantly, feeling his very real heartbeat in his chest as you snuggle in closer. The way he’s looking at you - like he’s seeing something precious - makes your chest ache. 

“Good,” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing as he lies back on his pillow. “Because I don’t want this to end.”

You don’t want it to end either.

“I know you probably want to catch the Knight Bus tomorrow and see your family but -” he starts, hesitating slightly.

You cut him off gently. “We could stay here. For the holidays. If you want to.”

He closes his eyes, the softest smile curling his lips as his thumb brushes your shoulder. “Yeah,” he says, his voice steady now. “I want that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Gryffindor Common Room is a blazing display of gold and red. Laughter and cheering fill the room so loudly that you can barely hear yourself think as you weave through the crowd with two butterbeers in hand.

“Cheer up, Cormac,” you say, finding him on a plump armchair in the corner of the room. You hand him a butterbeer and sit on his lap. He pulls you close, his hand resting on the back of your thigh. “We won the cup, didn’t we?”

“I really thought this was going to be my year,” he grumbles. “I might just have to face it - maybe I’m not cut out to play Quidditch.”

“I think you’re brilliant,” you say, although your words are probably meaningless - you don’t know the first thing about Quidditch.

“Oh, come on. You were there - you watched me knock Potter out with a bludger in the last game.”

“Well, Katie was still in St Mungo’s, wasn’t she? You had other things on your mind.”

Cormac tuts, as if he’s annoyed at himself for being distracted by one of his best friends being in mortal peril.

“Besides,” you say, leaning in and pressing your mouth to his ear. “You have plenty of other talents. Ones that are more… useful than Quidditch.”

“Oh, yeah?” he asks, turning to give you a lopsided grin. His tone is low, teasing, but the heat in his eyes makes your pulse quicken. “Care to elaborate?” 

You don’t bother answering. Instead, you press your lips to his, letting the butterbeer bottle tilt precariously in your grip as his arms tighten around your waist. His hand slides a little higher up your thigh, the warmth of it sending sparks skittering down your spine. You tilt your head, deepening the kiss, and suddenly it feels like the whole room could catch fire from how hot your skin feels against his.

“Alright, that’s enough of the Devil’s Snare impression” Katie’s voice interrupts, dry and sharp as she drops into the armchair beside yours, looking equal parts amused and exasperated.

You pull back, flustered, trying to regain a sliver of composure. Cormac shifts slightly, but his arm stays around your waist, not bothering to hide the grin on his face.

“Do you have to keep doing that where I can see? I’ve had enough trauma this year without adding that to the list,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“Sorry,” you grin sheepishly. 

“Don’t be,” Katie snorts. “Honestly, I prefer this to whatever you were doing before. It was unbearable. I mean, the pining - ” she shudders theatrically “- disgusting.” 

You laugh, but Cormac just raises his butterbeer in mock toast. “Thanks for your support. Truly heartwarming.”

Katie waves a hand dismissively, clearly unbothered. “Just get me my next butterbeer so I don’t need to fight through that crowd again, and we’ll call it even.”

Cormac reaches over without missing a beat, handing her his unopened bottle. “Here. You’ve earned it.”

She raises an eyebrow, suspicious. “Why, because I nearly got cursed to death and inadvertently set the two of you up?”

“No,” Cormac says dryly, though his lips twitch. “Because you’ve basically just won us the bloody Quidditch Cup.”

You raise your butterbeer in solidarity. “To Katie.”

“To me,” she says smugly, clinking her bottle with yours before taking a long sip.

The three of you settle into easy conversation, as easy and as natural as it’s always been.

Sitting here in the glow of victory, with Katie healthy and whole, and Cormac’s arm around your waist, you feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Things are pretty sweet. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list (let me know if you want removed/changed at any point or for any reason - if you just do not want notifications or if your hyperfixation has changed - anything! I'll remove you no questions asked) @aweidlich @xxvelvetxxxx @Dinom @Mgurl @all-by-myself98 @navs-bhat @ivebeentrashsince2001 @intense-sneezing @countlambula @chiaraanatra @daisydark @stainedpomegranatelips @doodlebook14 @il0vebeingdelulu @evabellasworld @xyzstar @lolitstiana @senassn @marmie-noir @lipstickandloveletters

[changeishard]

Chapter 7 is up!

Title: Love From the Other Side

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Elliott/Penny

Summary: Sam was desperate. He knew his band, Goblin Destroyer, was good, but they haven't been able to get it off the ground yet. They had quit their day jobs to focus on this, and Sam felt like it was his responsibility to make them famous.

So he would make a deal. He could part with his soul. It wasn't a huge price to pay for their success. Sam deserved it. Seb and Abby deserved it, too.

But the devil wasn't interested in his soul.

He wanted Sam's wife.

*

Or, an AU where Elliott is a God who takes Penny to his realm as part of Sam's bargain.

[slayfics]

You leave a party with Katsuki.

Warnings: alcohol, NSFW themes

1.4k words

You let out a sigh as you poured your next drink. The party was fun, but you couldn't deny your own disappointment that a certain someone hadn't shown up.

You haphazardly mixed the tequila on the table with the margarita mixer nearby. Due to being several drinks in, your proportions were off, and you served yourself more tequila than you needed.

You had spent your time at the party catching up with friends and laughing, but in between conversations you unconsciously searched the crowds of bodies hoping you'd find Katsuki there.

It had been a while since you saw him now. You began to think you were foolish for thinking he'd come to the party being as busy of a pro hero as he was now.

Even knowing that your heart rate spiked once Eijiro, Denki, and Hanta walked in. Katsuki's usual crew. You took a sip of your drink remembering how fast your hopes were dashed when Katsuki wasn't with them. The strong taste of liquor splashed over your tongue, and it took everything in you not to gag it out.

What was left of your executive thinking screamed at you to pour more mixer into your drink. But your drunk thoughts were stronger and encouraged you to keep drinking to forget how pathetic it was that your main reason for coming was to see Katsuki again.

You exhaled in disgust at yourself, so pathetic you thought, and took another sip. Bringing the cup back down, you scanned the crowd to see where your next move was going to be when you saw what you thought must be your eyes playing tricks on you.

Katsuki was in the crowd, and he was heading over to you. You blinked hard, sure that he would despair when you reopened your eyes, but the opposite wasn't the case.

Katsuki scanned the table of liquor and mixers, "Not many options here are there?" he remarked on the leftover selection.

"There was earlier but you're fashionably late," you responded, flashing him a teasing smile.

Katsuki grabbed a plastic cup and poured a shot of vodka into it, "Had a late patrol and- wasn't gonna come. But those idiots," Katsuki grunted gesturing to his usual group of friends, "wouldn't take no for an answer... so here I am."

"I don't think I've ever heard someone be so upset to be at a party," You giggled.

"That's obviously a lie because we saw each other at the last party, and I hated that one too. Or were you too drunk to remember?" he asked and took a sip of his drink.

"Hey! I remember just fine! You had to drag Kaminari out because he was throwing up all over the place." You said hitting his arm playfully. Misstepping you momentarily lost your balance, but Katsuki was quick to grab your arm to stabilize you. 

"Tch- if you're not careful you're going to be the one throwing up all over the place," he chuckled. "The hell are you drinking anyway?"

"Here want to try?" You asked him, holding out your drink.

Katsuki grabbed the drink from your hand and took a sip. Immediately his nose scrunched up and he recoiled from the taste. "The fuck!" He exclaimed. "What is the matter with you? This is all tequila," he said, a slight cough escaping him.

"You're being dramatic," You teased. But you knew he was right. You had made the drink way too strong. Katsuki walked over to the sink and dumped the drink out. "Hey!" You exclaimed rushing over to him and trying to grab the cup even though it was too late.

Katsuki held the cup up high to taunt you. You pulled at his arm and stretched your fingers trying to reach for it. "Shit- you are drunk, hu?" he exclaimed laughing at your pursuit to wrestle the cup from him.

Giving up, you dropped your arms and crossed them, as you squinted your eyes at him. "You owe me another drink."

"Fine. I'll make you one that isn't poisoned," he teased and brought the empty cup to the table to re-fill it.

You walked over next to him, watching as he made a drink with moderate liquor. The party lights flashed across his face highlighting his features. It had been so long since you saw Katsuki in person, it was astounding to you all over again how handsome he was. "You know... you don't have to be here," you said, tossing out the slightest hint.

"Hah? I know that. Already told you though- the damn extras made me come," he said turning and holding the finished drink out to you.

"Yeahhhh but~ you hate parties," you spoke pushing your hint even further.

"It's fine- they are bound to be too drunk to stay any moment now anyway so- I don't plan on being here much longer," he said, leaning against the kitchen table.

You took another sip of your drink frustrated at the blond not catching on to your hints. Silently you devised a more straightforward plan.

"How's that one taste? Better than that rat poison you were drinking right?" he asked.

"Hm? What was that?" You said putting your hand to your ear pretending you couldn't hear over the loud music.

Katsuki taking you seriously repeated himself. "How does it taste?" he asked again.

You moved closer to him, "Sorry still didn't catch that, it's really loud in here. Want to go somewhere quieter?" You asked, taking another sip and batting your eyes at him.

Katsuki chuckled, "Are you serious? That's your move?"

"Well, you didn't catch on to my others!" You giggled and moved closer still to him.

"Tch- the answer is no. You're too damn drunk idiot." Katsuki said, but a grin crept onto his face from your invitation. You reached out and grabbed his hand flirtingly playing with his fingers.

"I'm not that drunk," You protested and leaned into him pressing your body into his. He was warm and you wanted nothing more than to get lost in him.

"You can't even look at me straight," he laughed and moved his hand to brush some stray hair strands out of your face.

Sadness washed over your drunken glazed eyes as you looked up at him. Katsuki couldn't help but smirk at the pitiful look on your face.

"If you don't want me, just be honest about it." You said and raised your cup to take another drink. Katsuki intercepted your cup, pulled it from your hand, and placed both yours and his cup on the counter.

Katsuki wrapped his arms around you and pulled you tighter to him, your head resting on his chest.

"That's not the problem," he said, and you heard the words rumble in his chest.

"Then what is?" You asked nuzzling more into him.

"Told ya- you're drunk out of your mind. Doesn't feel right." He said giving you a squeeze.

"I missed you though... kiss me at least?" You compromised.

Katsuki pulled you off his chest and placed his finger under your chin. He guided your lips to him as he pressed his lips softly to yours. Being given the taste of him now, you were set on not letting him go. You deepened the kiss pressing further into him. Embarrassed by the slight moan that left your lips at his contact. You had been wanting him again for so long. You gave into your drunken impulses and playfully bit at his bottom lip, your arms wrapping around his neck.

"Mm- hey-," Katsuki said pulling away before you could go further. "Fuck- you make it hard to say no you know that?"

"Then don't," you said and attempted to pull him back into a kiss.

Katsuki avoided your kiss and repositioned himself back. "How about this- I'll take you home. BUT- you got to promise to behave. Gonna feed you, get you to rest and sober up. Then... in the morning when you're clear-headed," he moved his lips to your ear to whisper, "I'll show ya how bad I really want you."

"Deal," you said, a huge drunken grin on your face. You interlaced your hand with his and led him out of the kitchen. Guiding him through the party to the front door as if to show off your prize.

sinners: @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @i-heart-carlisle @derangedmango @matchat3a @zanarkandskylines @reneinii @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55 @pinkpurpledreams @that-one-fangirl69 @dreamcastgirl99

[dadscarathon]

Day One: Destroy all Neighbors

What a fun way to start Spooptober! Destroy All Neighbors combines some of the fun practical effects you would expect in an Evil Dead movie (the OG, not the new stuff), the goofiness of your Little Shop of Horrors and a dash of Airheads for self-deprecating references to music and the industry.

I enjoyed it! A lot of the practical effects were goopy and gross, just as you would expect. There was a lot of unexpected star power in the form of Jon Daly, Thomas Lennon and a Kumail Nanjiani cameo that could have come straight out of a Dan Harmon podcast episode.

I've been thinking about a rating system for my watches. Let's see if something like this will work:

Scary - did it frighten me at any point? Was there a jump scare that actual got me? This is the baseline, more startling than horrifying, but a lot of horror movies stoop down here, and some pepper it in like an appropriate spice. High marks for well executed, low for overuse or lame attempts.

Gross - was it nasty? Was something on the screen so gnarly that it made me wince or look away? Practical effects always seem to do this better than generated ones, but even digital effects can get disgusting.

Disturbing - The real gluten of fear. Does a noise I hear on the way to the bathroom remind me that things in the shadows are waiting for me? Do I suddenly find myself wondering if my own clone would mind if I murdered myself, or what would happen to my pets if the monster visited the house? A more ephemeral, but susbtantive fear than inspired by Scary.

Funny - I know, what's this doing in a rating about horror movies? If you didn't laugh a single time during Alien, maybe we wouldn't be friends - and that movie is an arguable horror masterpiece. A lot of modern horror, and especially indie horror lean into humor as a release valve to make sure that emotional balloon is nice and taut for the next fear poke.

Thoughtful - A lot of horror approaches the philosophical side of the genre and then stops before reaching any real revelation or submersion. A few movies go all the way in, not just in the effort to instill fear but a real exploration of human experience.

Ok, maybe that's more effort than is required, but I like categories.

Here's the score for Destroy All Neighbors:

Scary: 1 out of 3. DAN isn't trying to be frightening in this way, and that's fine.

Gross: 2 out of 3. Lots of squelchy practical effects. I'm not entirely certain I've seen a movie before with a corpse playing the drums with its intestines. That said, I didn't feel the need to turn away that I can think of. I did wince quite a bit at some of the effects and they were humorously and thoughtfully played out.

Disturbing: 1 out of 3. I was most disturbed on Will's behalf, as the audience can see that he's going to end up murdering most of the people he comes into contact with - a sort of second hand manslaughterer embarrassment.

Funny: 2 out of 3. There was some great dialog and bits played out. This is where the movie was aiming most of its energy and it works pretty well. I don't think it was a laugh a minute.

Thoughtful: 2 out of 3. The allegory in the movie, a message about using the time you have to create in a passionate way was there, not heavy handed, and not merely a prop for the plot.

Total score: 8 out of 15.

If you like practical effects, progressive rock (though this theme isn't hit that hard in the movie) or just a goofy good watch for your Spootober give it a shot.

[dalishthunder]

Destiny Waits for No One

Chapter 6 - On the Road Again

Pairing: Nebarra/LDB (Gender Neutral Reader) Rating: Mature Words: 1523 Additional Information: Slow Burn, Nebarra is an ass, Giving alcohol to minors Read on AO3

"So you mean to tell me, they're fighting over her? Over Camilla?" Nebarra asked as you left the inn the next morning after having had to listen to the plight of Faendal and Sven, both hopelessly in love.

You thought it was kind of sweet really; To be in love with someone... though perhaps not so much that you were willing to sabotage other people and lie to where your affection found its home.

You wondered if there was someone out there waiting for you to come home. Wondering if they thought you were dead... if they'd moved on. If anyone had even ever felt that way about you.... Or if you were alone in the world before meeting your friends.

Camilla was returning with a bucket on her hip from the river, a soft smile on her face as she worked, waving to an old woman sitting on a porch. "Yeah, I wonder if she knows how sweet either of them are on her."

He let out a little noise of disgust, "I'm just saying if you're going to be fighting over someone shouldn't they at least be attractive?"

Elbowing Nebarra, you whispered a harsh, "Can you be polite for once in your life?" She gave you a smile as well as she entered the shop, "Besides, I think she's rather comely."

"Of course you do."

"Are you always this unpleasant?" Kaidan slung an arm around your shoulders as he shot Nebarra a look.

"Yes."

"I bet he's in Skyrim because the other High Elves hate him too." Lucifer piped up.

"Is that why you're here instead of Black Marsh?" Nebarra bit back.

"No! My reasons for being here are too complicated for someone like you to understand."

"How old are you?"

Lucifer eyed him suspiciously. "Twenty or twenty two."

"Let me guess, you're trying to find yourself." The altmer sneered, and Lucifer's eyes narrowed.

"Wouldn't you-"

You buried your face in your hands, leaning heavily against Kaidan's side. "Can't we just get along? Just for while we're on the road? Please."

"I'll behave if he does."

You exchanged an exasperated look with Xelzaz. "We're going to play a game."

"Oh I love games! Can we play 'I Spy'?" Khash asked.

"That sounds like an excellent idea!" Lucien agreed. "Maybe a word game? Something with rhyming?"

You'd thought about playing a game to see who could stay quiet the longest, but the rhyming game seemed fun. "Yeah, sure."

"I have an even better idea," Nebarra grumbled, "We just march in silence instead."

Rhyming game it was.

"How do we play, Lucien?"

It was fairly enjoyable. You didn't recognize all the words, but it was fun bonding with your companions even if Nebarra refused to participate. And it occupied much of your journey along the road. You stopped for the night in a cave, a little over halfway to Ivarstead. Xelzaz prepared an absolutely delicious meal for you all which Nebarra, unsurprisingly, refused to eat, instead setting up his tent and eating inside away from everyone.

More for you then.

Lucien was fitting well into the group despite his lack of experience. He and Xelzaz enjoyed getting into passionate conversations about intellectual pursuits, and you really wished you understood them. You tried to absorb as much as you could, writing it down in your journal. Inigo, Khash, and Kaidan were playing some sort of Khajiit card game that Inigo had procured from one of the caravans. It really way relaxing....

But tomorrow you were to face your destiny.

At least you'd have some idea of who you were…. Who youare.

Somehow you'd managed to sleep through most of the night despite the nightmares. And though you wouldn't have called the sleep restful, it was better than nothing.

Nebarra was sitting around the fire when you left your tent, already packed up and ready to go.

"Morning," He said without even looking up.

"Morning." You sat next to him, taking a swig from your waterskin.

"What, no singing? No morning whistling? No irritating humming?" The altmer asked after a long period of silence. "No deliberate attempts to ruin my morning?"

"Have you done anything that makes your morning worth being ruined?" You replied.

"No."

"Then you have your answer."

"I hadn't realized you were capable of such reason."

You turned to look at him, eyes narrowed, something sour on your tongue. "What is your problem?"

"Touchy," He snipped. "I-"

"G'mornin." Kaidan interrupted with a yawn as he stepped out of his tent, shirtless despite the cool morning air. Though you supposed having grown up in Skyrim probably helped abate the cold. His scars from the prison were beginning to fade; the poultices from you and Xelzaz had really been working their magic. He must have found just enough room between you and Nebarra because he plopped himself down; Knees bumping up against your own.

"Do you mind?" Nebarra hissed, scooting away immediately. "Humans really don't have any manners do they?"

Kaidan just wrapped an arm around your shoulders and gave him a dry look. "A proper nord knows how t' keep warm on a cool morning."

"Then put some clothes on. Do you really expect people to believe you're a nord?" The mer pulled a bottle of wine from his pack, sticking a straw in and finagling his helmet to take a sip.

A shadow passed over Kaidan's face for a moment, "I was raised by a nord, as a nord.... But no, that nord ice doesn't flow through my veins if that's what you're trying to say. Truth be told, I don't know what I am... I don't even know the race of my own mother."

"Oh...." Nebarra went quiet.

You put a hand on Kaidan's and leaned into him, "I don't know how much help I'll be, but I can help you try to find that all out.... If you'd like that is."

"You'd do that for me?" The shock in his voice was almost almost hurtful.

"Of course! What are friends for? You're helping me, after all." You flashed him a toothy smile.

He laughed, "I'm paying off a life debt, Dragonborn. But, aye, I won't turn down a favor from a friend."

"You really just go saving whatever poor slek wanders on your path, don't you?" Nebarra mused, nursing his bottle of wine.

"I can think of one we probably just should have put out of his misery...." Kai shot him a look.

"Ohoho, you really think you can take me on, big man?"

You looked between them, discomfort welling in your gut, "Guys-"

"You have all the bark of a high elf, but none of the height-"

"Don't you think it's a little early in the morning to be having a dick measuring contest?" Xelzaz wore his exhasperation on his sleeve. You'd have thanked the gods, but you were pretty sure they weren't listening, so you sent a silent thanks to Xelzaz instead.

You helped him with breakfast, waking the rest of your companions for freshly scrambled kwama eggs and leeks, and Khash helped you both with the cleanup afterward, and before you knew it you were on the road again.

Clouds loomed on the horizon as you wound your way through the cold mountain path. A light snow began to fall, steadily getting heavier as the day progressed. Not enough to impede your vision too much, and you made sure that everyone had a buddy to keep track of so nobody got lost, but it was enough that it made the road harder to differentiate.

You had begun to contemplate stopping for the evening when you saw the telltale signs of civilization just over the hill. Sunset was upon you as you trudged through the snow and into the local inn, welcoming the warmth of shelter. Some hot mulled wine warmed you up from the inside, and despite the look you got from Xelzaz, you let Khash have some of yours. Just a few sips, nothing to get drunk off of, but enough to help her warm up.

"I cannot believe that you like that stuff..." She said after her second sip, wrinkling up her nose.

You just snickered. "More for me then."

Lucifer sat down next to her and she rolled her eyes, getting up to go listen to the bard.

"I don't understand why she doesn't like me." He bemoaned.

Kaidan clapped him on the shoulder, "Give it time, I'm sure she'll come around."

You closed your eyes for a moment.

Seven Thousand Steps.

You were supposed to climb The Seven Thousand Steps tomorrow and meet the Greybeards.... Hopefully the weather would clear up. While you were still laden down with some coin from the Jarl, inns were not something you wanted to have to spend all of it on.

So you bunked up with your friends... and Nebarra... letting Khash curl up between you and Kaidan. It was a tight fit on the bed, and the sound of snoring didn't exactly help you fall asleep. But you couldn't toss or turn to find a more comfortable spot....

You settled in for a long night.

[zippdementia]

Metroid Retrospective: Metroid OG

Continuing my "all Metroid games I can get my hands on" run with the original Metroid. This may be the only one of the lot I don't actually complete (aside from Federation Force, which I don't even intend to play).

I'd heard from many many people that the OG Metroid has aged incredibly poorly, far worse than its other contemporaries like Ninja Gaiden, the OG Zelda and Mario, and Contra. And I can't argue, even with the generous addition of save states and the ability to rewind that the Switch adds. It is not a fun game to play.

There are things I enjoy. I actually like the labyrinthian nature of the game, which forced me to draw maps and work out where to go next based on where I'd explored. There was a wonderful rush of satisfaction every time I found a new path forward or discovered a secret passage and expanding my own hand drawn map was its own reward.

I also enjoy the difficulty of combat. Enemies move in predictable enough patterns that as you learn them you can start abusing these patterns, leading them into your missiles or shots with a feeling that is remarkably ahead of its time in terms of making you feel like you are in a gun fight. It's another way the game rewards your continued play as it has a limited enough roster of enemies that you really do get better at playing and can see this in the fact that you start making more progress on the map. You can even start using certain spawning enemies as "farming" to restore your energy and missiles by taking them out over and over.

However, there are two things that hurt each of these "likes" pretty massively.

The first is that you can't duck and fire. This wouldn't be an issue except for the sheer number of ground enemies. Yes, you can jump over them but it just doesn't feel right to not be able to shoot down, even while jumping (you can shoot in every other basic direction, but not down). It makes for a lot of situations where rooms are harder than they feel they should be, simply due to mechanical limitations.

The second is more aggregious: when you die you start with a ridiculously low amount of health. Not full health, no. Not even one full energy tank (which is 99 energy). 30 energy. That's what you get. And that sucks because there isn't any "full restore" stations. Instead, you have to go camp in front of those forever spawning enemies and monotonously take them out over and over until you are full health... which of course, as you progress and get more energy tanks, takes longer and longer. It's a strange reversal of player reward, where the game actually gets MORE frustrating as your health bar gets higher and I can't imagine this was an intentional effect on the part of the designers. I feel like it was more just a sign of the early days of gaming and lack of experience creating a system that was antithetical to player growth.

And the enemy drop rate is not high. I spent 20 minutes one time restoring all my energy, only to fall in acid and get stuck and die two minutes later. That was about the time I realized I probably wouldn't finish Metroid 1. It's a shame, because if you just had some instant restore stations, I think this game would still be as good as Zelda, Mario, and others. But that one aspect just takes the lengthy exploration and getting lost in the maze-like Zebes and makes it tedious instead of tense.

[popculturebuffet]

Next up for Disney TVA, who is your favorite character from the cartoons in the second half of the Disney Afternoon era (1993-96): Marsupilami, Aladdin the Series, Gargoyles, The Shnookums & Meat Funny Cartoon Show, Timon & Pumbaa, Quack Pack, and Mighty Ducks the Animated Series? Skipped Bonkers since you said in the last ask that you haven't seen it yet.

Okay so getting this out of the way again (And yup haven't seen bonkers) So in addition to bonkers Marsupliami (though ti looks good and snookums and meat . Aladdin the Animated Series: No faviorite as I've only seen maybe one episode in recent years , but I do hear it's a fun adventure show and remmeber it being okay as a kid. never realized as a kid the two dtv movies werne't their own movies but the pilot for the show and it's finale respectivley (both still stand find on their own and return has if nothing else I can remmeber your only second rate)

Gargoyles: I LIVE AGAIN! I really need to watch this series in full at some point.. honestly reviewing it might not be a terrible idea as it'd at least get me around to it. I'll figure it out. Faviorite is Xanatos. Even just READING about him I loved the guy, a villian so damn good at gambits tv tropes named it after him and whose clever as he is self serving. The show itself is again one I BADLY need to watch as i've only seen a few scattered episode but the one that sticks in my mind I Had on vhs in high school, Deadly Force sticks out. It handles gun saftey.. in a way that dosen't feel hackned or over the top. Elsa gets shot.. but she made the mistake of leaving her gun unmprotected and apparently the show is consitent in making sure she never does again. IT's a show with a deep intretsing mythos, voice acting royalty, and is worth a look. Again I wouldn't mind doing a retrospective at some point (Splitting season 2 up a bit ) covering the first two seasons, the slave labor graphics comics and the recent revivial comics following up on those. Not plugging there either I just think gargoyles is neat. It's disney's equilvent to batman the aniamted series in my mind and it's a shame they never really captlized on it

Timon and Pummba: Only seen some of this for a review, it seems.. okay. Not terrible by any means but nothing I really want to watch despite loving these two characters.

Quack Pack: Daisy whose redesign while attractive is also fun and is that nice sweet spot of being fed up with donalds shit sometimes but not you know cheating on him, abusing him or everything three cabs daisy did. Don't be three cabs daisy folks. The show itself i've only seen a few eps of, some for reviews some on my own time but honestly.. it's okay. It has a reptuation for being awful, for being garbage that brought down the whole disney afternoon.... but really.. it's fine. I think a lot of people raging against it forget that donald getting into domestic scraps is just as much a par tof his dientity as donald duck the greatest adventuerer who ever lived. most of his shorts come from some small incident such as his car breaking down, a raido cooking show or his cousin showing up to eat everything he has. So going back to that with a bit of advneture weirdness ocasionally thrown in seems fine. Some plots do sound.. insane but the show seems okay. The versions of the boys.. are a bit weaker but it's less for characterization (thier about the same as they were in ducktales just older) , and more for trying to make them sound cool and that despite giving them unique va's.. they didn't do much in the ones i've seen to actually defenrtaite them. And honestly the redesigns are solid

Daisy and Donalds are great an dth eboys are fine. Their hair and Louie's backwards hat are 90s as hell but honetsly they aren't half bad and now I think about it dewey's would perfectly fit the 2017's dewey's love of attention and need to be seen as a jock. The show is far from perfect and some episodes seem nuts again like Huey's dental surgery turning him into a super villian.. but overall it's just fine. Not super mediocre, but not as bad as it gets a rep for. Also the humans thing... eh why not. I prefer an all furry universe, but I get Donald has interacted with humans before.

Mighty Ducks: One I haven't revisited and don't really.. intend to. It's a weird piece of the duckverse, with aliens, 90's super powers and hockey. I might check it out for the novelty as I have gained a love of hockey due to certain canadian television series

But otherwise it's just kinda.. there. There are other 90's action shows to visit. Gargoyles is just down the block. BTAS exists. I just really.. dont' care.

[radinagames2020]

Goodbye Volcano High

(Image from Steam)

Man I don't even know what to rate this one. Probably a 3?? The issue is, I was so excited for this because the art, music, and voice acting looked so good, and it was getting comparisons to Night in the Woods which I LOVE. And mostly it lived up to this hype! The rhythm game sections were fun and challenging, the art was fun, the voice acting was really really good, and I enjoyed watching the story play out - at first.

However...I'm extemely irritated with how the story went. I don't want to spoil anything, but basically: Justice For Fang. The last third of the story is a tale of a kid who messed up big time and has to go apologizing to their friends and patching up mistakes. And the writers were GOING to tell that story, whether or not anything in the plot leading up to that justified it. And I don't think it did!

In my opinion, Fang was not the one most at fault for what happened. At BEST I'd say it was even blame all around, but Fang is made to grovel for forgiveness from Trish and Naomi, while neither of them return more than a flippant half-apology. Naomi, especially, is super rude to everyone most of the time, but is treated like she's the one hard done by. I had to pause the game multiple times to rant about how ridiculous the story beats were - I almost felt like the game was gaslighting me.

However. I might just be relating to Fang a bit too hard, so it's possible other people wouldn't find this so irritating. If you can put that aside, the story does have a lot of good points. I especially loved the sibling relationship, and the game does a good job exploring what it's like to stare down imminent destruction and keep living in the meantime. And the rhythm sections were really fun. So, I'll average this out to a 3 overall.

------

Next up I'm going to play Stray Gods which is.... a musical based visual novel. I am a bit worried I'll have complaints about it as well, but I figured I'd give it a shot while I'm here (in this genre)!

[sugoi-and-spice]

Chapter One - Game Start!

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x Fem!Reader, (3rd Person)

Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI

Summary: Tomura Shigaraki was her dad's boss's son. He was the creep that stole girls' underwear and tried to grope her in his room. But it's not like he could get her Dad fired just because she wouldn't sleep with him, right? ...right?

CW: Quirkless!AU, Explicit Smut, Dub-Con, Coercion, Blackmail, Cheating, Sexual Guilt, Humiliation, Unhealthy Relationships, Virginity Kink, Groping, Power Play, Hate to Love

A/N: My Tumblr debut on this account! I hope you all enjoy. This is a fic I started a couple months ago as just a one-shot, but became absolutely ADDICTED to the concept. Chapters are long, so excerpts will just be posted on Tumblr. But if you like my style, please please please give me a follow and a request. Looking forward to your thoughts! ^_^

Read Full Chapter on AO3

[EXCERPT]

All things considered, it was kind of strange how ordinarily this entire situation had started. It was a lazy Sunday — the first day off she’d really given herself in months between cram school, swim practice, and studying for entrance exams. She was just laying on the couch playing Animal Crossing on her Switch, when her Dad entered the room, oh so casually bringing up:

“You know the President of my company? He’s got a son that’s about your age.”

Oh no. She knew that tone of voice. That was the, “Let’s get excited about something awful” voice that made her Dad think he was so slick. The, “help me clean the gutters” and “you have an orthodontist appointment” voice. Indicating that it was something so supremely unenjoyable that he needed to trick her into thinking it was something fun or god-forbid cool beforehand.

“He even went to your school, isn’t that neat?”

She shot him a glare. No. No, that was not especially neat. They were a couple of rich kids that lived in the same commuter vicinity of a private school near her fathers’ company. A school that every employee of said company got a nice little stipend to send their kids to due to the large donations that the head of that company made every year. Of course they went to the same school. It was practically custom made for them.

“The President has expressed a lot of interest in introducing you two to each other. Thinks you’ll be a good influence for him!”

“Why does he even know about me? That’s a little creepy.” she joked.

Her Dad was less than amused, “Of course I talk about you with my coworkers. Not to mention you’ve met him at company parties.”

“Huh. I don’t remember.”

That was kind of a lie. She did remember. She particularly remembered that the company president liked to talk about himself and his visions a lot. To the point that she had started calling him “All For One”, in her mind and had completely forgotten his real name. But in all honesty, she didn’t really think about her Dad’s job — let alone his boss — unless she really had to, unless it was right in front of her. So maybe the more honest response would’ve been “I don’t care”, but that was pretty rude.

He reached over, forcibly pausing her game, “That’s because you always have your face buried in your devices, Peanut.”

She rolled her eyes playfully, unpausing the game just as quickly. “What’s his name?”

“Tomura. Do you know him?”

Her fingers froze, her little villager sprite swaying on loop as they waited for her to click forward to the next dialogue option.

Oh she knew him alright. Everybody at her school knew him. Tomura Shigaraki was a fucking freak. And not in the Judd Apatow, misunderstood renegade type of way — this guy was genuinely creepy. The type of guy that brought knives to school. That stole underwear from girls’ lockers (although this was never proven). One of the senpai in her club was convinced that Tomura was stalking her. And he was the type to get away with it all. And now she knew why.

Kamino High had universally let out a sigh of relief when the creep had graduated back in April.

“I think it’d be a good idea.” her father continued, “He’s a first year at Todai, now. Maybe he could give you some entrance exam pointers.”

“No, I think I’ll be okay.” she said.

“He likes video games.” her dad tried to sell.

“Most kids my age do Dad. It’s really not that big of a selling point.”

“What if you just—”

“Dad.” she sat up suddenly, “I really don’t want to.”

He looked at her genuinely surprised. This wasn’t like his daughter to so vehemently oppose him on something. Especially when he was making it clear that it was something important.

“Why not?”

“Because he’s creepy! I don’t like him and I don’t want to spend time with him.” she insisted.

He frowned, “Honey, how can you say that? You don’t even know him.”

“Yeah and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Her dad sighed, “Come on, kiddo. I thought I raised you better than this.”

She looked down to her feet, guilt making its way slowly but surely through her body.

“I’ve met this kid. Sure he’s a bit of an odd duck, but I don’t think he deserves to be called a creep for that. He’s just a little awkward and lonely. Honestly, I think he just needs a friend.”

“And his Dad thinks I’d make a good one…?” she muttered.

“I think you’d make a good one.”

He leaned over, pinching her cheek teasingly, “You’re my friend after all!”

She snorted, swatting his hand away lightly, “Oh god, please stop.”

“Just hang out with him one time, alright? Can you do that for me?”

She sighed, “Fine.”

Her Dad grinned, clapping his hands together excitedly, “Great! It’s a playdate!”

“Please don’t call it that!”

Continue on AO3

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[arizonaconservativegal]

Hi there. Californian desperately looking to flee this coming summer. Was once considering Arizona but I’m concerned that the election chaos of CA is in AZ too and now you have a Democrat governor. Is this still a place I can safely flee or is AZ lost like Cali now? Honestly asking. I don’t want to absorb the work and expense of relocating just to be in the same place.

I might give it a year and see how much Katie Hobbs is able to bypass or bully the legislature. I think they'll be able to keep her in check but they have an unfortunate habit of being certifiably insane so I hate to put all my hopes on them. In general, I don't expect the next four years to be super fun here but I wouldn't say the fight is over yet. Our state party doesn't know what the fuck it's doing but if they get their shit together, the state is very winnable. We may have had a big influx of Californians moving here since covid but this is still a slightly right of center state.

I'll give you my usual warnings about moving here:

If you're renting, you should know that housing prices in the cities / larger towns have shot up about 50% in about four years and show no signs of slowing. Be ready for that. I don't know offhand what the trend has been for the more rural areas, but I imagine it's gone up a fair bit too. Still much, much cheaper than California though.

If you're buying, you need to very thoroughly dig into the water rights where you buy or you might find yourself in a lot of expensive trouble very quickly. This is especially true if you are looking at a rural area but several unincorporated areas on the edges of Phoenix have learned the hard way recently that hiring water haulers isn't cheap.

In most of the state, illegal immigration tends to be more of a political issue than a daily life issue but for areas on the border and along major drug corridors, it is a very serious problem. Good luck getting into a hospital in Yuma - they're overflowing with illegal immigrants. I also personally know people who cannot go outside on their own property at night because the cartels use it to traffick all sorts of things and they will shoot you if they see you.

We did manage to hold on to the corporation commission, which regulates the power companies, so I'm not too worried about this unless the legislature does something dumb, but we do need a new power plant soon or we may be looking at rolling blackouts in the not super distant future... I think it'll be okay but it would have been good to have a Republican in the governor's office to smooth that process a bit.

We have a very low income tax and property taxes tend to be low for primary residences. People think this means we are a low tax state. What they forget is that we have a very high sales tax - nearly 10% in some areas. All said and done, we're fairly average for total tax rates when compared with other states. It's still a lot better than California, but I don't want you to be surprised.

You need a car to get around here. Public transportation exists but isn't very functional and nothing is close enough to walk. Make sure you get a new Arizona plate (you only need one) because otherwise everyone will see your Cali plates and automatically hate you.

And the last warning I have is that yes, it really does get fuck-off hot here in the summer. Expect temperatures to never fall below 100 for the entire month of July. If Phoenix doesn't get a straight week of 115+, that's a mild summer. If you're from LA, you probably know what to expect. Otherwise, make sure you have a good AC system - and you want AC, not a swamp cooler. Trust me.

All that said, it's really a great state to live in. It's raining today and that's a rare enough event that everyone gets excited for it. There really is nothing like a southern Arizona sunset. Jeans and a button down shirt count as formal attire in half the state, especially when paired with cowboy boots. Most of the population is from somewhere else so you can find restaurants with quality food from anywhere you like. In most of the state, you will literally never have to shovel snow or scrape ice off your windshield. We have all the major sports franchises so you can go to big games when you want and they don't totally suck but none of the teams are good enough that anyone really expects you to root for them over your home team. We have more biomes here than any other state in the country so whatever kind of environment you want, you can get. Natural disasters don't happen in most of the state - the worst thing is forest fires in the north which are usually manageable. We have a weirdly huge historic car community because our climate is so dry that the cars don't rust. People put Christmas lights on cacti. Haboobs look like the apocalypse is rolling in but are really just a funny word for the newscasters to say a lot. You will see people wearing a bolo tie unironically. I once saw a woman put a tumbleweed in the back of a minivan. I love it here.

[curiousconch]

Chase You / Chase Me (Pt. 2)

Part 2: Before I dive right into you

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: In the aftermath of their pretend wedding in Las Vegas, Gabe begins to unravel his growing feelings for Alex. But as he attempts to bring his past to light, someone from Alex's previous life casts a shadow on the future.

Book/Pairing: Choices - Laws of Attraction / Gabe Ricci x MC (Alex Keating)

Words: 2.4k+ (sorry 🙈)

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / alcohol consumption, some swears

Disclaimer: Most of the characters as well as some dialogue belong to Pixelberry. I am merely borrowing them.

A little after 1 AM, Las Vegas

Gabe can't help but smirk at the look of mischief in Alex's eyes as they stood by a quiet spot in the middle of Las Vegas. With her in that glittery dress, he somehow can't bring himself to part from her yet.

He knew it wasn't only him who felt that tingling in his fingertips when he brushed her cheeks, her breath smelling strongly of martini. He was very aware that Alex felt the same when she stared back at him, standing at that cramped cheap chapel while an Elvis impersonator stood nearby. The moment she stepped away when he said that it's just all pretend made Gabe's heart ache with regret.

So here they were, standing awkwardly after he shot down her advances again.

But he was sure he didn't want the night to end here.

After calling for a car, he shoved his phone inside the pocket of his slacks and turned to Alex.

"I was serious when I said I wanted a celebratory drink," he glanced apologetically to his side where she stood. "Our hotel bar offers my favorite scotch."

Alex raised her head, smiling. "Knew you had it in you, Gabe."

A car ride and a couple of glasses of Lagavulin later, there they were, lounging on stools at their opulent hotel bar, warm lights and jazz music providing a backdrop on the casual atmosphere.

"And I could not believe the rat thing worked! Who would've known they kept a rat in there as a pet? Like really?" Alex raised her glass to her lips, as Gabe sat on the barstool beside her, cradling his own drink.

"Beginner's luck, I would believe," he chuckled in reply, leaning forward, tie loosened and his coat hanging at the back of his chair.

"I am so offended," Alex gasped as she shoved her hands flat on her chest in mock disbelief. "I'm not only the boring nerd when I was in high school, Gabe. I was that nerd who sang and dance at the drama club!"

Gabe shook his head, his lips pursing. "That makes so much damn sense, Alex." He took another swig of his third shot, fighting for dear life from laughing his heart out. Not wanting to give her that satisfaction, he threw a sarcastic dig at her remark. "That's so believable, seeing you could snatch an Oscar from Meryl Streep herself and the no one wouldn't even bat an eye."

"Ah, law was plan A, sir." she saluted, placing her empty glass on the bar counter. "Acting was a fallback in case it didn't pan out." she giggled.

Gabe grinned as he rolled up his sleeves, beckoning the bartender for another round. "You should have made it your plan A, seeing how you turned out," he teased, bringing up the fun bit they did to retrieve a copy of Lydia Rothswell's marriage certificate. The very same act that almost made Gabe kiss Alex in the middle of The Strip.

"Aww, Gabe, finally found a better lawyer than you? Feeling threatened yet?" Alex leaned in, snickering as their glasses were refilled. "Don't worry, I' ll settle for being a Junior Partner for now," she said as she reclined, before throwing in a playful wink.

"Well someone's head just became bigger," he gave her a smug look.

"Just trying to keep up with all the cockiness in the room," she smiled coyly, watching Gabe's stupefied expression. It was clear then that she scored a slam dunk at the championship of comebacks, laughing at his astonishment.

Gabe finally gave up, joining Alex in her laughter. As their joy receded, he let himself take in the sight of Alex without any inhibitions. What he was beginning to see was the extent of her wit, her ability to keep her cool, and the sharp humor that matched only his.

Under the warm light of the lounge, she brilliantly shone. He couldn't focus at what she was now saying as he danced at the appeal of them becoming more than colleagues. Perhaps he resisted his own feelings long enough that he was past the point of denial. Or simply because he was starting to get drunk.

Though before he can even begin to consider that, he was still sober enough to know that he first needed to tell her the truth.

The truth that sometime long ago, their paths have already crossed. And that he did something very horrible.

Call him cynical, but he wasn't kidding when he admitted he was an all-or-nothing kind of guy. And that meant laying down all his cards on the table. Because for him, Alex was more than the occasional one-night stand. And he can't be certain of how long he could keep himself from his budding feelings, all stakes be damned.

What better time to be honest when there was enough alcohol in his system to prevent all rational thinking? It's now or never, he figured.

"Alex, I -"

"Alessandra? Alessandra Keating?" a deep voice came from behind him, interrupting Gabe. He cocked his head to get a clearer view, as a man with slicked back blonde hair approached from a private booth nearby.

Without hesitation, the tall stranger in the dark suit stepped forward, his striking features Gabe would have easily recognized anywhere. That face was almost in every blockbuster movie in the last five years.

"Julian? What are you doing here?" Alex asked, as abashed as he was. Gabe saw how she clammed up the very second she recognized the man.

"Oh my, it really is you!" the man stopped beside Alex's bar stool, welcoming himself to their company. The way he was looking up and down at her made Gabe's jaw clench so hard, his teeth gritted. But the man's next movement stunned him all the more. In front of him, the man embraced Alex, making Gabe suddenly want to combust. His tumbler could've shattered if he tightened his grip on it a little more.

"Uhm, Julian, hi," Gabe surveyed Alex as she writhed within the man's arms, waiting for any signal from her so he could do something, anything, to make this man go away. But she assured him with one look, shifting a little, making the man who wedged himself between them release her.

"It's been so long! When was the last time I saw you, like, 12, 13 years ago?" the man exclaimed, his annoying smile making Gabe want to slam his fist somewhere. And it wasn't on the bar counter.

Gabe heard Alex scoff, fighting hard to regain her composure. "Yeah, high school," Her icy demeanor took over, one that Gabe only saw in the courtroom. She brushed her dress as she tilted her head to Gabe's direction.

The man turned to Gabe, the surprise evident as he acknowledged Gabe's presence behind him. The two men sized each other up sending an undercurrent of tension between them. Before Gabe could even consider acting out of impulse, Alex cleared her throat to diffuse his temper.

"Julian, this is Gabe. Gabe, this is Julian, my -"

"Ex," Julian interjected, before turning his attention to the lawyer. Apparently, this guy had a habit, Gabe observed. "We were together senior year. Alessandra, my angel, we had the best time together, didn't we? We looked good together, at least after Alex thought to improve her image here. Sadly, we had to break up. Teenage romances, you know?"

The picture couldn't be any clearer; this was the person Alex was speaking about during their dinner back in New York. And hearing the way he talked, no wonder Julian got under her skin. He was a damned manipulative pretentious liar. Gabe could hear the dishonesty between the words, not an ounce of authenticity in sight while the blonde hotshot rambled on.

Alex wasn't showing any sympathy either, her brown eyes staring daggers at him, as he went on about his monologue, emphasizing on how she was his back then. She was clearly infuriated by his attempt to own her, as well as his lack of shame. As Gabe quietly considered her reaction, he deliberated on a strategy to put her out her misery. The moment an idea came to mind, he gave Alex a subtle look asking her to back his play.

Alex nodded, sitting a little straighter. Finding the instant shift in her, Gabe made his move.

"Sweetheart," he slowly raised his voice as he said the endearment, enjoying the contempt from the other guy when he was interrupted. "You never told me Julian Wintour was your ex."

Alex smiled smugly, appearing pleased with the nickname Gabe chose, a clear pun on the whole high school sweetheart trope. "Never crossed my mind, babe. It's such an unimportant detail in my past," she waved her hand dismissively.

"Ah, nonsense," he finished his drink and gestured for the bartender to clean up. "Mr. Wintour's history would have made a good conversation starter." Gabe straightened his vest and stood, collecting his coat. He sauntered towards Alex, circling around the now speechless Julian. He draped his jacket over her shoulders, clearly making a statement before he reached for her hand, wrapping it in his.

"Why? Isn't the shiny nameplate of Senior Partner not good enough?" Alex expertly rode along, locking eyes with her former flame before gazing back at Gabe enticingly. "Forgive him, Julian. My lovely boyfriend here has a bad hobby of underselling himself," she smiled warmly, the irony of her statement eluding her ex. Gabe was about to smirk with her ingenuity, stopping when he felt her arm slowly wrapping around his waist. He barely stifled a groan at the intimacy of her touch.

The other man went beet red at the gesture. For embarrassment or infuriation or both, Gabe didn't fucking care. All he cared about was for Alex to slap this douche's face, metaphorically speaking.

"Anyway, Julian, it's been a pleasure. It's been a long night, and we're about ready to retire at our penthouse suite," steadily, she got up from her seat. The command in her was undeniable, forcing anyone to feel nothing but regret the day they decided Alessandra Keating wasn't good enough for them. Then with a flourish, she turned around as she let Gabe take her away from her past lover's scrutinizing gaze.

Inside the elevator, Gabe caught Alex's exhale of relief, probably thankful that Julian was out of her sight. Gabe still held onto her hand, though Alex didn't seem to notice. As they began their ascent, he waited for her to break the silence, deciding that the questions running in his mind can wait.

"I would have traded my rankings for the look of disbelief in Julian's face," Alex said turning to him, to which Gabe arched his brow.

He smirked devilishly, knowing Alex could take the hint. "I believe I could offer a sight better than that."

She grinned at the innuendo, further lightening up the mood between them. "One day, Gabe, I'll take you up on that," she said, crossing her legs as she leaned on the polished wall behind her. "Though I'm sure you're dying to know... How did I end up dating the Julian Wintour?"

Gabe pondered before answering. "Hmm, actually not the first one that comes to mind, no." He tapped against his temple. "I doubted you would ever bat an eyelash to his direction."

Her eyebrows rose. "Ah, you think so highly of me." She chuckled, shaking her head at his reply. "But yes, he was my ex. And yes, he was the red on my ledger. He was my first love," she admitted. "That ideal, once in a lifetime, true love everyone's talking about? Julian was it, or at least I thought he was." she sighed, glancing at her reflection on the polished metal panel beside her. "But when things started to go downhill for me, he was the first one to walk out," she paused, taking a deep breath. "By cheating on me."

Gabe's body went rigid, clenching his fists so hard until his nails dug unto his palms. What the fucking hell? I know I should have punched that guy's perfect teeth! He decided against airing his vengeful thoughts, staying quiet as he glimpsed at her image on the walls.

"Joey reminded me how Julian made me doubt myself. If I'm really over what he's done to me, if he's still in my head," she continued, rubbing at her nape. Gabe felt her gaze fall on him, which he reciprocated. "But after walking out from him tonight, I am much more certain that I made it out, after all."

Gabe felt her squeeze his hand as she said those words, and his heart somersaulted inside his chest. "So thanks. I needed that little nudge," she said in finality.

He turned to beam at her as he relished the triumph in her words, hoping that it was enough to convey that he was proud of her. And to be part of that discovery about herself, about who she always was in his eyes - someone who was his equal.

When they arrived at her floor, she gently freed her hand from his grasp invoking a sharp exhale from him. She stepped out of the elevator, her gait as undeterred as ever. But then she turned, her soft expression dimmed by the lack of light. "And while we're on the subject of appreciation," she uttered, before dropping one last revelation.

"Thanks for that save you also gave me ten years ago," Alex glanced up at him with half-lidded eyes, her words laced with meaning.

It took him a few moments before he could even comprehend what she was trying to convey. He searched her eyes for some explanation but found none. "What do you mean, Alex?" he said, managing to find his voice.

"I know exactly who you are, Gabriel Ricci."

With that, the doors slowly closed in front of him, her sly smile fading from his sight until he can only see his own reflection. He examined her last sentence, repeating the words over and over in his head. There was only one plausible explanation: she only knew half of the truth. His body sagged against the wall as he shut his eyes, angry at himself.

No Alex, I think you really don't.

Author's Notes: Thank you for your continued reading! As some of you may have already noticed, this part was written purely in Gabe's POV because I wanted to expose his conflicted feelings for Alex. It's probably my own version of revenge, with PB stretching that slow burn as much as they could 🤭 Share your thoughts in the comments, I'd really appreciate it! 💖

Taglist: @adiehardfan @pixelnutrookie @starryjieun @fucking-random1 @sarcastic01lily @spookycolorpeanut @ophrookie @suitfer

@choicesficwriterscreations

It's my first time tagging a couple of folks, so please inform me if I missed including you. Also, want to be added or removed from the tag list? No problem - just let me know 😊.

[captainkurosolaire]

Prompt #16 ~ Arcade

A cataloging book of aves was given closure from the Crow's Nest. The dweller resident who occupied it held a huge fascination as if everything was richly new in experience. But the hobby didn't entirely prevent her from losing motivation. She had felt unaccomplished in her abilities with things out of her depths from being countered hardly by a formidable enemy who froze her only means of weaponry in her rifle preventing the shot along with suffering a gashing wound she kept the souvenir scar to thrive better. Furthermore the Captain had forfeited and sacrificed his arsenal of relics acquired over many painstaking years. To her perspective, it seemed she had made him lose more than gain. Everything she felt was about to be purified. The feline Captain had strong senses, and it aided in not only getting a prediction on the weather shifts, but also utilizing his numerous experience, there was a feeling aboard of morale being startled. As he took claim of the dawn, by loudly making his presence known, he clung to the ladder and gave ascent, he knocked to hatch since she had made the nest her quarters, "Oi' Shelah, c'mon we're going training." She had taped already hand's appendages from trying to learn the art of melee. It saddened her that little progression was made in improving. It gave ark memento, to how she was upon her islander days, always being the runt alongside far behind her fellow sisterhood. "What's the point? Quartermaster and First Crewmate already tried." Regardless she exhaled and opened up for him to scale the remainder. "Aye, I do hear. Although my methods may garner favor." Her personality type and foreign bringing made her a stranger to badgering. Which didn't always show results depending on the person teaching and tutoring.

Captain flashed a cheek and infectious grin. "Put that aim t' me this evening', I assure ye it'll be fun. I'll wait fer a decision below." He'd give her opportunity and room to choose. He hadn't done anything despite her island and beliefs against what she was fated and forewarned as an omen of ill. She contemplated before following pursuit. His lead brought her before clanking and rotating automatic machines, bright over abundance lights, ringing sounds of gil. Noises that shouted 'winner', overall a bustling and booming populated place unlike anything accustomed. "This is th' Gold Saucer, if ye think I'm a cheat or swindler, this place encapsulates it. Sometimes t' learn and progress, you have to make memories, and those that are fun, impact us more personally. Now we're going to play a mini-games, with this MGP wallet I borrowed from a fancy high-roller." Taking in leading her by arm as she didn't know initially how to consume all this scenery. "This is a Cuff-A-Cur machine, objective is to swing hard." She saw another demonstration before he activated for her to give a whirl, she gave a weak performance as the machine mocked her fist and punch and barely moved. "Though most like t' punch ole' Giga' lad. Striking force is what matters, although ye may struggle punching. Doesn't mean you can't kick th' difference either. N' combat, sometimes it matters using all we are or can be surrounded with in survival." She focused her long Duskwight leg's did provide range and advantage. Glancing at him briefly, doing a demo round kick. He transformed not only basic games of normality of arcade into actual serious regimen. Then she scored a much higher rating. It's compliment gave her a breathe of undefinable air. The Seeker sparked up ecstatically. He would navigate her across to the Moogle's Paw teaching her coordination and also as it tried scamming them from attaining their prize despite having it as the crane unhooked and it wedged between the exit barely clinging on. She was recommended and used to cover him while he shook the machine and wouldn't be weaseled out for the acclaim. The games all but continued even into Monster's Toss where they competed with another and overall defeated him in every round. It played to her strengths as a sharpshooter. These enactments were boisterously redefining her morale and even confidence, which although felt hindered and dampened, Captain saw to rectify. As energy was nearly sapped, "Well, I lost all th' MGP and overall my credit. Ye b' a mighty pirate... Listen, just cause we may lose some-days, or fall short, doesn't mean we can't seize th' next wave. This goes for everything n' one-day, we'll even go hunt ourselves some assassins, and prevail over that. We're on a path to grow together and use our coverage fer each other, weaknesses aren't nearly as troublesome. Much you've proven t' this started day, you b' more than enough." His nonchalant and vow as she was carrying a handful of stuffies and assortment of prizes clung to her waist. A massive amount beyond all his simple recognition. This was her first memory of treasure.

[dylanxmin]

A Little Serendipity

Part.20

before / next

•masterlist•

pairing; min yoongi x reader

genre; fluff, slight angst, slice of life au, strangers to lovers au

rating; PG-15

warnings; swearings, drunk yoongi, slight fighting(just yelling)

word counts; 3k

a/n; well, it is quite a long part right? lol,,, IM SO SORRY that it took ages to write, (it’s 2 week) but i had a writer’s block for this fic, and again, i’m so sorry,, but let’s chat a little, how did you find this part? i hope you liked it,, thanks for reading, ily ♡

''Y/N, can you take out the trash?'' after hearing Soobin voice, I blow a breath to the air, taking out trash never felt this tiring in my life, and probably this was all because of me laying on my bed for all day and doing nothing. My body slowly turned into a jelly by days, as I do nothing but pitying myself and yes, I know that is one miserable move, but no one can judge me at the moment, as I won't let it.

''Is it okay if I take out myself as trash?'' Soobin looks at me worriedly, fixing her posture to give me a response, raising her head from Taehyung's legs, ''We are still miserable, huh?'' With her move, Taehyung looks at me with flat lips, probably he was worried about me too, as Soobin tells him everything, and I'm totally okay with this because he is a good guy, making my best friend happy and all. At least one of the people who live in this apartment were happy. ''I am totally okay! Can't you see how fine I am Soobin?'' I scoffed but it wasn't intended to hurt her or anything like that. I just so sickened myself with these behaviors, and now they were stuck with me, and won't let go of me for a second. ''I'm sorry,'' misery was hearable by my tone, but I didn't mind it.

''Okay, that's enough!'' Taehyung and I were surprised by the sudden yell coming from Soobin, as we didn't expect it at all. She is looking very frustrated at the moment, and I can't deny that I'm low key scared at her. ''You. Sit.'' she points the light green couch with her finger, demanding me in a tone that I immediately obeyed. Taehyung's wide-open eyes wandering on Soobin, he was surprised as much as me, which it's understandable because I don't think that Taehyung made Soobin this angry before, and I can say that this is my specialty. ''I. Sit.'' after sitting to the couch I said in irony, but I only wanted to ease the tension she got in her veins but sadly, it backfired.

''Cut the crap, Y/N,''

''Okay, honey. I think we need to calm a little, huh?'' Even though I appreciate Taehyung's efforts to calming Soobin, I knew that it would backfire, too. Her deadly gaze gathers on him and he goes silent in a second, which I tried to hold my laughter as watching them will never make me less entertained, but right now I need to be serious, for not to be killed by Soobin. ''I don't want to become this, but you literally forced me to do this, Y/N. You know that right?'' she holds her hands on his knees, lifting one eyebrows judgmentally. I nodded, and if I have to be honest with this situation, whenever I feel or act miserable, Soobin is the one who always pulls me up with her attitudes, with her rough but correct words, so in a way, it was a relief to see her in this attitudes.

''Look, I know you and Yoongi for a long time, and I can't say that he is a bad guy, but if he said that he doesn't want you, then you have to move on sweetie. It's for the best,'' after she ends her words, Teahyung nudges her with his elbow, shake his head in disapproval, but I ignore his kind warnings. ''Well he didn't say that he didn't want me or anything,'' murmuring in my own didn't go as I plan it, and I understand that by the wide-opened eyes, staring at me in surprise. ''Wait a minute, what?''

''Why did you say that he rejected Y/N, Soobin?''

''Because she was living in her bed for almost a week now, and not doing anything apart from eating, and breathing which she barely eats. I thought that he rejected you, Y/N!'' Both of them now looking at me, their puzzled glances stay on me until I start to speak, which is a very uncomfortable moment for me. ''He never officially rejected me, but with his lack of interest, finally, I understand that he doesn't want to be with me.'' With an exhausted whine, Soobin puts her head in his palm, covering her face, while Taehyung shaking his head, and he tries to hold back his laughter by biting his lip.

''Y/N, what did he say to you?'' Instead of giving him a decent response, I just shrug my shoulders because remembering the moments we had wasn't the best thing I wanted to at this moment, but eventually, I gave up. ''Well, he said that he needs some time to deal with his problems and all, that he couldn't find the answer yet, and something like this.''

''You are such a stupid person, Y/N,'' Soobin start to talk under her breaths, looking at me in disappointment, but I couldn't understand the fuss about what I said. He clearly rejected me with his behaviors, didn't he? Taehyung gets up from the couch to come to my side, holding my shoulders after sitting right beside me. ''Honey, I'm sorry but you totally misread the situation.'' his lips were still flat, but I could read the pity that he feels for me, and still I couldn't understand what they were trying to say.

''If he didn't reject you 'officially' then that's mean, he didn't reject you Y/N, because Yoongi isn't a guy who interprets his words or, his behaviors. He would totally speak to you, in a case like this.'' Taeyhung start to explaining to me, probably gets sick of my silly looks, as I can't understand what they were trying to say to me by calling me stupid. ''He is one straight guy, like the straightest.''

''Firstly, I don't think this word exists, and secondly, are you sure? Because it feels like he rejected me.'' Soobin literally growled at me, before start to talking and telling how stupid I am, all over again, and in a way, I agreed with her. ''I'm telling it for the last time, I know him, okay? I know him and yes, it is not a rejection. Get this, Y/N.'' The room buried in silence, after what she said. I tried to order my thoughts for a second beside my emotions because if it's true, and if he really didn't reject me, so that's mean I still have a shot with him. ''I guess we broke her, baby.'' Taehyung's words were nothing but a whisper for me at the moment, thrill just takes over my body, heartbeats reach my neck, goosebumps appear. Even though they explained to me more than one time now, I still couldn't believe it and didn't want to believe it mostly. Because if I hold my hopes high one more time just to drop them all over again, I couldn't bear the idea of this. I just needed to suppress it, give this possibility a good thought then, maybe I can be happy about it. Yes, this plan sounds good to me.

Well, I gave it a good amount of thought this idea, but whenever I think, it feels like it's not real at all, sounded like a dumb idea but every time I call this idea 'dumb', Soobin was there to punch me or kick, and if she can't be my side physically, she would simply call me dumb as quittance, which I find it very childish but who am I the judge? I literally stayed at my bed for weeks and cried like a highschool girl, and being a high school girl isn't a bad thing unless you are not a grown woman, who has to work for paying her bills, for food and all. I'm almost twenty-six and my behaviors would tell the very opposite.

''Y/N, we are leaving! Are you sure about not coming with us?'' Whoops! I totally forget the dinner thing, but even if I didn't forget it, I wouldn't dare to go out and face with him as nothing happened before or, how many times I thought about his feelings for me, as according to Soobin and Taehyung, he had feelings for me or, didn't reject me? Whatever it is, I just couldn't face him, so I just passed tonight's event. ''I'm pretty sure Soobin, have fun!''

''Okay, I love you, have fun!'' And after the last yelling, she closes the door very loudly that I jumped on my chair. ''Jeez. woman,'' But after a moment, her words start to itching my mind, how could I have fun in this home, with my thoughts? She was clearly mocking with me, but I decided to let it slide away. As I have to deal with my work stuff, and I meant writing when I say it because I need to get my work done or, my publisher is going to kill me eventually. Okay, maybe killing is a little exaggerated will but still, I couldn't judge her, as I came back Seoul for almost four months now, and I did nothing, rather, I have to write at least half of the book that I'm working on these days.

Hours had passed, and I could barely write a decent storyline as most of my paper had a lot of crossing on the words that I wrote but still, it was better than nothing, I guess? When I finally straighten my back cracking voice reach to my ears, shut down my eyes when I feel the pain, the ache reaches through my neck, and I sighed. I didn't know how much time had passed now, but according to my back pain, I could say that it is a lot. ''Okay, now what I am going to do?'' I ask myself out loud, lean on my back until I touch the chair, rubbing my eyes because they were itching in exhaustion. So, I stayed in this pose until I heard the door ring, which it's a semi-surprise for me, as I didn't wait for Soobin to come back this early, but probably she felt sorry for me and decided to cut the night early this time. I stand up swiftly to open the door, which I still couldn't understand why she wasn't using her keys. ''Are you too drunk to open-''

''How did you know that I'm drunk?''

''Yoongi?'' My jaw drops to my chest after seeing the boy leaning on the corner of the door, a silly grin hanging on his lips, looking at me in shock, as I 'know' that he was drunk. After a moment of not knowing what to do and failing to talk to him finally, I could be able to gather my courage to talk. ''Okay, I guess you need to come inside,'' and before I could finish my words properly, he takes a step to the small apartment, walking to the couch as he was familiar with this apartment more than me. I close the door, before following his steps, and watching him sitting to the couch cozily. ''You didn't come today,'' he said as making a statement, but it was obvious that I wasn't there with them, as he came to my place but he was drunk so I hold myself from saying something ironic. ''Do you need to drink water?''

''You didn't come,'' he just ignored my question with a very demanding voice. I didn't know what to do for a second, so I just ignored him just like him. ''Maybe coffee. So we can purify from all the alcohol, huh?''

''You didn't-''

''Yes! Yes, I didn't come today Yoongi. What are you trying to say? For god sake!'' We both look very surprised, as neither of us waiting for this aggressive yelling from me, but hearing the same thing over and over again starts to irritate me, as I could feel the tension between us growing rapidly, his chest starts to move swiftly as well as mine. I watch his expression to go angry from shock, but without waiting any minute, I continued to talk. ''I have a life beside you. You know that right? Plus, I don't need to explain it!''

''Oh you have a life, huh?'' his husky voice spread into the room, misty glares of him stayed on me, there were some emotions that I couldn't understand but decided to ignore it. ''Yes, and this surprised you because?''

''You can have a life but I can't?'' now his voice starts to raise, leaving me in shock with his statement, so he decided to continue. ''When I say that, when I say that I have a life and have something to deal with, you scold me. But here we are, you say that you have a life!''

''Okay I think you are overreacting right now, Yoongi,'' I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his reactions, which his attitudes now making me a little uncomfortable, but what I said made him angrier I guess, as now he stand up swiftly with shaky hands. ''Am I overreacting? Overreacting!'' his hands start to brush his hair, now his whole body was shaking in rage, for a second I thought he was going to throw something at me but thankfully, he did not.

''If I am overreacting then what are you doing? Why are you not coming when we all hang out? Are you chicken out for being at the same place as me? Just because I said that I need some time?'' if someone could see the two of us, probably would think that he was having a tantrum with all of these hand gestures and yelling but luckily, we were alone. But the one who is not lucky right now is no one other than Yoongi. As he called me a 'coward' after all, he has to pay this. ''I am not. Chicken out. I have some things to deal with, you know?''

''Haha. Funny but I am not buying this crap.'' his imitation of the laugh was highly ridiculous and unnecessary, but somehow he manages to trigger my anger. ''What do you want, Yoongi? One second, you want me gone, don't want to see me, but then coming to my house and scolding me. What do you want?'' breathlessness takes over me at the end of my words, semi-coughed for fixing my throat, but just when I stop talking, his husky voice covered the room. ''I'd never not want to see you, Y/N,''

''What?''

''How could you think that? I'm dying to see you every damn day, every moment.'' When he stopped talking, I just stay there quietly, staring blankly at his face because words were pretty hard to establish for me, as what his words now wandering in my mind, trying to make it sense but doesn't work. He sigh. ''I'm not a bright person like Hoseok or, funny like Jin. I don't even know how I got to be friends with them Y/N. I am not an outgoing person. I'm just a man who goes to his studio, locks himself to there, and just works on his music.''

''And you think that I am best at being funny or anything else? I called you Min Yoongi for days, Yoongi,'' I said immediately after he finishes his words because he was being ridiculous.

''Everyone loves you Y/N. You are funny, caring, pretty-'' his eyes widened after what he said, taking his sight from me to landing on the room. ''You think I'm pretty?'' I questioned because I had to. It is just too much information for me at one time. First, he says that he wants to see me every day and then calls me pretty? This man wants me dead, for sure. His shy smile appears on his lips, only to cause me more ache on the heart, taking my breath by my lungs, so we both stay silent. Nevertheless, I could hear my heartbeats, throbbing loudly, and I'm pretty sure that he could hear it too.

''Yes. Yes, I think that you are pretty, beautiful and amazing. As I know that I'm a stupid man who is afraid to break your heart or, couldn't fulfill your needs, but I am sure about one thing that I want you in my life, as more than a friend.'' he ends his words, raises his brows as waiting for an answer, but I couldn't talk at the moment. Neither I manage to talk, nor breathing. Jaw drops to the chest, mouth dried in shock, vacant stares placed on his weak smile. I waited for this moment, for almost three months, and now instead of jumping to his arms, I just stay there, petrified like a statue.

''Okay, I guess this is the time where you say that you want me in your life as more than a friend or, I am going to freak out,'' An instant laughter takes over me until I start panting, his face grows more worried now, but it was so cute. ''I.. Of course I want you in my life as more than a friend, Yoongi. Stop looking at me with those doe eyes.''

''Thank goodness! For a second you got me, Y/N,'' his chuckles echoed with mines, as his steps start to get closer to me, while I could feel my pulse on my body, wriggle on the stomach, as he holds my wrist to pull me closer, nodding as asking for permission. Rather than permitting him, I bumped my lips to his soft ones, tiny giggle slides by his mouth when he deepens the kiss.

''Did I mentioned that you are talented as well?'' he asked after breaking the kiss, caused me to chuckle, and I gave him a little hard hit on the shoulder, but he responded it with a giggle, before leaning to kiss me, he said, ''Well, just to make sure, you are very talented.''

taglist; [ @mochiloverbts ]

[leelee10898]

Fast cars & Freedom: Bad Liar (12/?)

The end of summer zoo trip has arrived, as tensions run high will the trip be a disaster? Catch up HERE

Pairings: Logan x Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Rating: Mature

Ellie had gotten herself in well over her head again. After Logan told her what he wanted, and the blow up with Colt. She made herself busy with work, and spending her free time with Luca. She had been looking forward to the zoo trip all summer, but that morning she woke up dreading the day. She had minimal contact with Colt, and Logan was often at the track preparing for a big race coming up. She got up and got herself ready before waking Luca up. Once luca was ready they went down and had breakfast. Ellie sat there picking at her muffin, not having much of an appetite, and her stomach was flopping all over the place.

“Hey guys. We're sorry but we're not going to make it to the zoo today.” Ellie gave her dad a confused look. “Um ok. Not that I didn't want you guys to come but, it was only supposed to be The four of us. Luca, logan, colt and I.”

“oh Logan invited us the other day. But, sally and I are going away for the day.” Frank grabbed a cup of coffee while the frustration swirled in Ellies head. “You ok kiddo? You look a little pale.” Ellie shook her head “Yeah, im fine just, my nerves are shot.”

“Grampy, I'm going to the zoo today. I'm going to see Lions and pandas and tigers and hiphopitamuses.” she grinned, Ellie and Frank chuckling at the mispronunciation. “You mean hippopotamus’s” Frank snickered. “Yeah, that's what I said hiphopitamuses. Silly grampy.”

“Well you have fun. And don't let the monkeys fling poop at you.” Frank waved. “Dad! Seriously?” Ellie scolded him. He stuck out his tongue and walked out the door.

Ellie and Luca drove alone, meeting Logan and Colt there. After a 2 hour drive they pulled into the parking area of the zoo, meeting Colt at the gate. “Colt.” Luca went running, a wide smile spread across his face “Hey princess.” he scooped her up in a hug. “Hi Colt.” Ellie walked up to the too. “Ellie.” He acknowledged her. He still was angry, her stomach churned again, the stress was eating at her. “Hey Luca, Hey Ellie, you guys made it finally.” Logan came walking up, Ellie turned towards his voice glad he was there but her face falling slightly seeing Stacie standing next to him. “Oh, hey Stacie I didn't expect to see you here.”

“Oh, yeah Logan asked me to tag along.  Riya and Darius couldn't make it.” Stacie grinned.

Ellie chewed the inside of her cheek, trying not to say something she might regret.

They paid for their tickets and made their way into the zoo. Luca was ecstatic,  she loved the zoo and Ellie would often take her back on the East coast. She would always tell her how her parents would take her when she was a little girl, and her favorite animals to see were the otters.  Logan was just as excited as Luca he had never been to the zoo before. They walked around coming up to the Arctic Fox. "Wow, so pretty. Its fur is snow white." Ellie marveled at the beautiful animal before her. "Well, its white what did you expect." Colt snorted, Ellie shot him a dirty look. "Let's move on." Stacie suggested, sensing the tension.  

They walked up to the baboons, they watched them run around and jump, playing with each other.  Ellie stood next to Colt, who had Luca on his shoulders, her gaze set on Logan standing with Stacie. His hand planted on her shoulder as he stood behind her, pointing things out.she watched as Stacie laughed, and then playfully slapped his chest.

"Ok. Let's move on." Ellie snapped, they all looked at her as she quickly turned making her way to the next animal.

They stood in front of  the penguin display. "OOH penguins, I love penguins Colt. Get closer. " Luca tugged on his hair. "Ouch. Alright, Alright. I'll move closer." Logan stood next to Ellie and Stacie. "Awe look at the babies." Stacie swooned. "Did you know the father hatches the egg while the mother hunts?" Logan crossed his arms, pleased with his input. "Oh yeah? Where did you hear that?" Stacie quirked her brow, Logan gave her a lopsided grin "happy feet." Ellie rolled her eyes annoyed.  Stacie was her friend, but why did Logan invite her on their family outing, or for lack of better terms, dysfunctional family outing?

Of course you'd be impressed by that Ellie mumbles under her breath.  Colt cocked his head to the side.  "Something bothering you Elle?"

"NO." she snapped.

"You know most penguins go through life with one partner. Once they find them, they never seperate." Ellie shot him an unamused look. "If only some humans were like that." He focus on her as he spoke.  "Come on squirt, lets go look at the giraffe's."

Ellie stood there alone a minute while everyone followed colt. She could feel her stomach churning again. This was not how she anticipated the day going. Once she semi composed herself she joined the others.

After an afternoon of snide remarks and jabs between the 3 of them Ellie finally had her fill. They were standing in line to get drinks. It was hot, and tensions were running high. "Can we go see the tigers? Mommy, I want to see the polar bears, you promised we could see the polar bears. When Can we see something else. " Luca whined.

"Luca, we will go in a minute. Calm down and let stacie get her drink." Ellie snapped. "Whoa Ellie calm down. Are you mad about something?" Logan questioned as Ellie stood there, mouth agape "Seriously Logan?" She threw her hands up in the air "Why did you invite Stacie here?"

"I didn't think it would be a problem." Ellie rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Nothing is ever a problem. This was supposed to be a family outing. Is. Is something going on with you and Stacie?" She pointed at him, just as Stacie walked up. "No, were just friends Ellie." Logan said in defense prompting stacie to chime in "Ellie, I told you I would never do that to you."

"Why do you care so much Ellie? You want to be with Logan?" Colt broke his silence. The four began to argue amongst themselves for a few minutes, finally Ellie spoke up "I'm done with this. Come on Luca, lets let's go see the polar bears." She turned looking for Luca, she was nowhere to be found. "Luca? LUCA!" she shouted panic setting in.

"Luca." Logan shouted, still not getting a response.  Ellie began to hyperventilate colt on her immediately "Ellie, Elle I need you to calm down. We're gonna find her. Breathe in." He looked up "Logan, go look by the polar bear enclosure, and then to the Lions.  Stacie, go tell a staff member we have a missing child." The two nodded and took off.

"Colt, my baby. What if we." Ellie sobbed.

"Hey, calm down. We're gonna find her, trust me." He pulled her into a tight embrace, calming her down. "Now, is there anywhere else she would go?" Ellie's eyes went wide "Hippos."

Colt grabbed her hand as they took off running, darting around the other visitors. They came upon the Hippo enclosure, their eyes darted around before Colt locked eyes on the small brunette child "Luca." She shouted, she turned smiling at him. "Ellie, I got her." He shouted as he scooped her up in his arms. "Luca, you scared us. You can't wander off sweetheart."

"Lulu, oh thank god. Baby you can't wander off, you scared us to death." The three stood ellie and colt holding onto her for dear life.  

Logan and Stacie ran up, thankful she was ok. A slight pained look on his face as he watched the interaction between the three. "I'll go and inform the staff we found her." Stacie gave his shoulder a squeeze as she parted. Logan made his way to the trio "Thank god you found her. Hey lulu, you really gave us a scare." Luca reached over for Logan. "Are you mad at me uncle Logie?" Logan chuckled "no. I'm glad you're ok. But you can't wander off like that ok."

They decided to call it a day after that. Luca having school the next morning. Both men agreeing to come see her off. As Ellie put Luca to bed that night the day replaying in her head. How did things get so screwed up. Was there really something going on between Stacie and Logan? She knew Colt was upset about the divorce, but the way he stepped up and took control of the situation made her really believe he would be a good dad, if he was Lucas father. And the few minutes Luca was gone terrified her, it was just a few minutes but it felt like a lifetime. The nagging nauseous feeling crept back up again, she couldn't wait for it to be all over, the divorce,  the paternity results. She laid down, tossing and turning in bed most of the night.

The next morning she woke up, got Luca ready and sure enough both Colt and Logan were there to see her off. Luca was excited to start school, she excelled in preschool,  and placed much higher than a kindergarten level on her school entrance test. Though she most likely got her smarts from her mother, Colt was also very smart, and Logan really showed his intellectual side during the study date with Riya and Darius all those years ago. She would definitely be a force to be reckoned with in school, that was for sure.

Ellie took the day off of work, she knew she wouldn't be productive with her mind occupied with Luca being at school. She spent the day wandering around the house,  cleaning up, unpacking boxes she still hadn't gotten around to. If she were being honest with herself she was also trying to block out the fact the court date was the next week. She often found herself wondering if she were making a mistake,  and every time she wondered it, Dracys words popped in her head. He loved Luca, he really seemed like he would be a good dad. But what if being a family wasn't enough? What if he turned out to be just like Kaneko, wanting more, the crew again. She took a deep breath, allowing herself to think those thoughts brought back the familiar nauseous feeling. She took a deep breath calming herself down,  she would cross that bridge when the time came, only if she were Colts.

Before she knew it, it was almost time to get Luca from the bus. Logan had a race he coming up, so he had to take off right after they got Luca on the bus. Colt however, would be there. Ellie sat on the front patio waiting when she heard the familiar sound of a bike coming down the street. She watched  him as he pulled into the driveway. She always loved the way he looked when he rode. He had traded in his old leather jacket for a new one, his shoulders broader than when he was 19 going on 20. He was still as fit as ever, ellies mind flashed back to the night they hooked up, her hands pressed against his muscular chest. She bit her lip at the thought,  his impossibly tight shirt not helping the situation as he walked towards her . "I knew you would be out here already." He smirked as he walked onto the porch. "Yeah, how'd you know that." She tilted her head at him. "Because you're always like an hour early for everything."

He was right, and she couldn't believe he remembered.

"You ever think you'll go back to a car?" She asked.

"Not anytime soon," He chuckled "Guess I'll have to use one of the cars I Have sitting around for when I have Luca."

"I miss it." Colt eyed her "miss what? The bike? You want that too?"

"NO. I miss the riding. The thrill, the feeling." A blush crept up on her cheeks she prayed he didn't notice.

"Let's take a ride. " He stood holding out his hand. Ellie hesitated "I ahhh. I dont know, Luca-"

"will be off the bus in 45 minutes, we have time. Come on, we have plenty of time." Ellie contemplated for a split second, before an old feeling she had tucked away ignited her body. "Let's do it." She jumped up following him to the bike. They climbed on and he fired up the bike.

She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, her head rested against his back. She watched as the scenery flew by in a blur, the sound of his peaceful breathing putting her at ease. She missed this more than she thought, she needed just one last ride before she closed that chapter of her life completely. They drove for about twenty minutes and then came back to the house. They got off the bike, "thanks. I needed that." Ellie smiled as they walked together to the patio. "Yeah  anytime." He sat down fidgeting with his thumbs. "I'm leaving town Elle." He blurted out. Ellie felt her heart drop into her stomach. "Colt. We have court, and what about Luca?" She was shocked, she couldn't believe he would just leave.

"I can't go to court, I can't go and I won't.  If I go, I will contest it all. But if I leave, you'll get what you want,  you'll be happy." He turned looking at her "That's all I want for you El, to be happy, that is all I ever wanted. I'll tell Luca, it's not forever,  just until after the court date." His voice cracking a little, she could tell he was giving everything he had not to break down, she had seen it once before, the night his father died. She tried to do the same but her eyes failed her terribly.  "Colt I. I'm sorry." She began to sob, a wave of emotion crashing over her. She hated this, she hated all of this. Why couldn't he of just got the annulment 6 years ago, why did she still have to care about them both?

"Ellie please don't cry, please." His voice wavering more. As he pulled her into a hug. "What. About. The test results,  what if they call?" She sniffled. "You call me, text me leave me a voicemail. Its shotty connection so I may not get them right away. If for some reason i can't get there, and she's not mine, just don't call me and tell me." Ellie shook her head. "When will you leave?"

"This weekend, friday morning. Just  for a week."

Before they knew it the bus pulled up. They were greeted by a bright eyed, big smile little girl. "Mooooomy, coooolt." She flew into Ellies arms almost knocking her over. "Whoa." Ellie goggled, steadying herself. "Did you have a good day?" "I had the best day ever!" She ran to colts arms as he scooped her up twirling her around. "Hey sweetheart, what did you do today?" He put her down as they sat down "Well my teacher tried to teach us counting today and they only had us count to 20. I said that's it?"

"Oh yeah? Well what did she say?" Colt cocked his brow, knowing Luca she gave this teacher a run for her money. "Well she said that we would work on counting past 20 later on in the year. So I said, lady I can count past 20 with no problem." They looked to her to finish.  "And she said oh yeah, that's excellent what can you count to? And then I said um like 1,000. So she didn't believe me so I started counting." Her face going somber "She. She cut me off at 497." Ellie and Colt both looked to each other and laughed.

"That's amazing squirt. You are so smart, just like mommy." Colts sincere gaze met her eyes. "Hey Luca. I have to tell you something ok?" Luca looked up at him "I just wanted to let you know that I have to go out of town for a little bit."

"You're leaving?" She sniffled.  "Yeah but not til Friday, and just a few days."

"Will you put me on the bus every morning?" She batted her tiny little lashes, Just like her mom, he was a sucker for it and Colt was warped around her tiny little fingers. "Yes I will."

"And get me off the bus?" Ellie chuckled, she was persuasive.

"Of course, wouldn't miss it for the world." Colt hugged her.

The week flew past, she missed Logan and wasn't sure what to do about him. Could she really divorce Colt and then date Logan? Was that even fair? Would she lose him forever? Could she handle that? Friday morning Colt came to put Luca on the bus, Ellie thought it best if he did it alone, it would be hard on them both when he left. Just a few short days and it would be over, but was she ready? Only time would tell.

Colt drove the biggest part of the day. Fighting back the urge to turn around and show up to that court house next week.  He needed to push through to get to his destination and try to clear his mind.

After almost 8 hours he pulled into the Lake Tahoe area. Up a gravel driveway to a nice cabin that sat by the lake. The woman stood there hands on her hips,  "Bout time you came up here to see me."

"Hey Mom."

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[roswellroamer]

Day 18. February 16, 2020. Kaiteriteri day rides. 275km

Glad I took some great shots yesterday from Kimi Ora resort since it was pretty gray in the AM. Still, really cool to wake up in the woods in a modern unit with a view of the water. I enjoyed my continued vegetarian diet through no choice of my own as the included breakfast was served at the main lodge (about 300 steps down the hill). Plenty of nice choices there and still pleased with the taste of the veggie dinner offerings from last night. One thing I also woke up to was a good amount of swelling and puffiness around my left eye, as the histaminic reaction had spread. Still able to use my eye, but feeling weird and half swollen shut, I felt like saying "Cut me, Mick". Actually got a bit worse for the first half of the day but as of now which is nighttime I will hope that the swelling reduces tomorrow. No real hindrance other than folks asking me if I had fallen from my bike! Heading north we managed to get Ted's debit card to be taken at the local unattended station then aimed up over the very tight and a bit scary hill just to get to the main road. We turned right on Takaka Hill Road and were immediately greeted with a sign that said we may have construction delays. after just a mile or so we ended up first at the traffic light. Theee indicator LED lights showed 6-12', 2-5' & 1'. We had just missed the green light as we saw the last car a few turns up the steep hill but waited it out. We joked about timing our return so that we wouldn't have to again wait another 12'. It wasn't construction but the recent heavy weather had actually washed away a few sections of road, dropping 4-6' of roadway down the hill and now cordoned off with construction barriers to be fixed who knows when. We aimed for the northernmost point on the South Island, Cape Farewell. There are some dramatic rock features that are worth the few hundred meters of tramping up to see them as the South Island abruptly ends into the see. Pics above. The "cave" is hard to see as it is under a very high and steep cliff with no safety measure but the water actually flows into and through this dramatic hole in the mountain's base. Also you can see the water flowing in but didn't want to have a "hold my beer" moment trying to capture the wave action inside the cave. The other spit of headland is marked by a flying buttress of stone and this was the last bit of land that Cook and his crew saw when returning to England in 1770. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cape_Farewell,_New_Zealand

We explored all 3 of the areas we could ride to and they encompassed maybe 10 or 12km of gravel roads around the top of the island. It felt pretty remote and it was beautiful even on a gray day. Next we retraced southward with a slight detour to cruise through Collingwood before opting to stop at the Mussel Inn. In addition to the bohemian vibe, we were treated to a culmination concert of African circle drums and dance provided by a group from around the country that had come together for a 4 day drum circle camp there. I got into the beat as they accompanied my tasty and quite large New Zealand green tipped mussels. Yes Jerry, I pulled the hair patches! 😉 In the toilet though I didn't need it, instead of toilet paper there was a bin of shredded cardboard. As the rain started up again we took our leave and the next brown sign turnoff took us to the Te Waikoropupu springs. This was a great stop as the size of the springs and especially the volume of water billowing from the ground was impressive. A sizable river basically emanated from there in just a couple springs. They are the largest freshwater springs in New Zealand, the largest cold water springs in the Southern Hemisphere and contain some of the clearest water ever measured! Took some pics but hard to grasp the clarity of the water and the volume. Spoke to a couple from Madison who were riding for a couple months on a BMW 1200GS they bought from the dealer in Dunedin we visited. McIver & Veitch. They bought it and have an agreement to sell it back when done which saves them a good third over renting. Good idea for longer rides/rentals. Heading back to the highly technical Takaka Hill, after crossing that Old Takaka River (insert Larry David joke here!), I had the uber geeky idea to count the turns since it had seemed twistier than the Dragon this morning. Of course with a 10' delay at the same one way light location due to bad timing or poor planning, I had to remember I was at 222 turns while at the light. I counted 250 turns in what Ted researched to be a 14.8 mile stretch of road. That is a turn per mile rate of 16.83 turns per mile. The Tail of the Dragon boasts 318 curves in 11 miles. That is a T.P.M. ratio of 28.9. So the Dragon wins. But I have never counted the Tail's twists myself. My impression was that this road is twistier but at this point I'll just accept that all the T-shirts are correct and Takaka Hill is just a bit less twisty. Still a fantastic road that wouldve been a lot more fun if not enveloped in fog at the top and wasn't raining/wet. We then headed past our resort to the closest sizable town of Motueka. Lots of restaurant choices there since the woman at reception yesterday seemed to indicate there wouldn't be much to choose from on Sunday in Kaiteriteri and our resort's kitchen is closed for Sunday dinner. If the weather held off we would try to head there for dinner. However the rain persisted and we also found that the nighttime and slick wet turns required to get back to Kaiteriteri were strong dissuaders. We explored Kaiteriteri a bit more and found the Beached Whale which said they'd be open for dinner later. It also said entertainment 7 nights a week so that sounded good. We rolled back up the hill to our jungle unit and I actually got a one hour nap which was sweet. 😴

We headed back on the bikes in our riding boots and Goretex jackets since it was still raining lightly. I wore jeans, for a mile trip you weren't gonna get very wet unless the weather opened up on us. Ted was far enough ahead of me that I didn't see him slide on the curve approaching the main road. He didn't go down but I also slid at the exact same spot, I'm guessing at least 3-4"". Closer inspection on the return ride revealed a white painted yield sign which must've had lines 6" to 12" wide painted right on the turn covering 2/3 of the width of the lane. We had been warned in the first couple days by a biker about the painted lines in NZ. They are slippery at home too but I think they use no grit here at all on some of them. When wet they can be especially dangerous. We both almost had a real problem at that same spot which we discovered during dinner discussions. A mushroom pizza and a Coke were then serenaded by possibly the owner on guitar and a computer and equipment to provide the accompanying rhythm and occasional synthesizer. He was very good. Again mostly American stuff. Eagles, Johnny Cash, Ike & Tina, Nancy Sinatra, Van Morrison (Irish I know) etc. Good day and going to head toward Havelock tomorrow with some great looking detours to French Pass if the weather cooperates. 😴

[dontreadthistrashgarbage]

Pt.5

"You're flashy again today!" Charlie said appreciatively to Guerin, who had opted for blue lipstick, dangly earrings and a yellow cropped sweatshirt over leggings and chunky black boots.

"Well yeah, we're gonna be in a private room so I'm taking advantage of not having to hide!" Guerin posed by poking her cheek paired with a pouty smile. Charlie grinned to see her friend looking cheerful.

"Well you look great."

"I look great? Look at youuuuu!" Guerin crowed, "Boy better watch out, you look on fleek." She dipped into english to adequately express admiration for her friend.

"Stop you're too much." Charlie rolled her eyes at how over the top Guerin was being, but it still made her happy cause despite how obnoxious it was she was being genuine with her opinion.

"Never." Guerin linked arms with Charlie, "Do you know where we're going?" The girls had met at the station closest to the karaoke place that had been chosen by A.C.E and would meet the group there. Charlie led the way, familiar with Guerin's legendarily poor sense of direction. She texted Jun to let them know when they arrived. Once inside Guerin chose two beers to bring in with them.

"We'll need these for bravery. If we wanna sing in front of those five." She said sensibly.

"I could use a drink but I'm not going to sing." Charlie accepted the beer.

"That's fine, but if you wanna do a duet later I'm here for you." Guerin winked.

Just then Chan appeared in the lobby, "Did you two get lost? You're taking forever." He said.

"Hey, don't talk to your elders like that." Guerin said, undermining herself by sticking out her tongue as they moved to follow him.

"Sorry Guerin-Noona, Charlie-Noona." Chan pouted at the older women, causing Guerin to immediately melt and coo at him.

"You are so weak." Charlie teased her friend as they made their way into the assigned room.

"It's true I'm the softest. Hey everyone!" Guerin called out, waving to the rest of A.C.E as they joined them. "Awww you had the same idea we did!" She commented on the assortment of drinks already gathered on the table in the center of the room.

"Charlie, you look great!" Donghun piped up after everyone had finished their greetings. Maybe it's because Guerin was looking for it, but she caught Jun go from looking and smiling at Charlie to shooting Donghun a surprised expression at his compliment.

"Thanks." Charlie said shyly, "It's nothing much." Her outfit was a simple hoodie and jeans but she had left her freshly dyed hair down, apparently the vibrant pink and purple was a hit.

"Nothing much. Pshaw. you are the belle of the ball." Guerin threw an arm around her friend, tapped her beer to Charlie's and the two of them started with their first drinks of the night.

The seven started off restrained enough but after a few songs Guerin insisted that without Queen it wasnt worth coming out so she sang Don't Stop Me Now which got everyone more riled up despite her not quite hitting every note. Seyoon got particularly aggressive with the tambourine during a flailing dance off so Guerin had to disarm him but otherwise no one was hurt. Charlie even joined in after a few drinks and sang Spice Girls and Backstreet boys much to the amusement of A.C.E and with Guerin acting as her solo hype team and yelling along.

After about an hour they flopped down for their first break as Jun, Chan and Seyoon hurried to the front to order snacks and more drinks.

"Jun was right, this is fun!" Charlie exclaimed happily.

"I've found the perfect song for us to do next! Will you sing it with me?" Guerin scooted over to Charlie, showing her the selection.

"Oh... oh yes. Definitely." Charlie nodded, the alcohol in her system making her bold.

Donghun leaned slightly across Charlie to try and peak at the song choice but Guerin snatched it away. Charlie blushed at the proximity of Donghun being so close. Sure she liked Jun but that didn't make her blind. Or sober. The other three returned, Jun came in first seeing Donghun and frowning as the two seemed to separate quickly. Byeongkwan tried to take the song selecter from Guerin for a peak and she jumped away from him.

"Noona what is it, let me see!" Byeongkwan said, reaching again.

"No, it's a surprise!" She twisted away from him and collided with Seyoon who had fortunately just set the snacks he was carrying down. His hand automatically went to her arms to steady her as the two stumbled.

"Oh shit" she was shocked into english for a moment, "Seyoonie I'm sorry are you okay?"

Before he could answer Guerin felt Byeongkwan reaching for the song selecter again and she yanked it instinctively away from him, which moved her closer to Seyoon. He used her momentum to pull her closer to him, but switching to look at Byeongkwan.

"Stop antagonizing her, at this rate she'll accidentally kill me." Seyoon said with a grin. Guerin tsked and pulled away from him. She had enjoyed feeling his hands on her and being so close to him, but she while she may have been too tipsy to make a snarky comeback with that level of distraction, she wasn't drunk enough to act on it.

"It's not my fault she's not watching where she's going." Byeongkwan shrugged.

Jun had surreptitiously settled in Guerins abandoned spot next to Charlie and was offering her another drink.

"Noona do you have a song picked out?" Chan asked, opening a bag of chips.

"Oh yes! Charlie is gonna sing with me!" Guerin spun and held her hand out to her friend who got up to join her. Jun looked disappointed for a moment until Guerin started the song choice. A.C.E all laughed and cheered as Take Me Higher came over the speakers.

The two women had a grand time singing along heartily, eagerly using the two dance moves they knew from the performance (poorly) and freestyle dancing the rest (also poorly). Guerin also mixed in randomly singing to each member of A.C.E, but she stopped when she sang the lyrics "I want you, I need you, say you love me" to Seyoon who had a big grin that started to falter. She threw herself back into the song and the two wrapped up with big cheers from the audience. Charlie flopped back into her seat between Donghun and Jun while Guerin sat next to Byeongkwan at the end of the couch.

"That was amazing!" Jun cheered and clapped loudly, giving Charlie a standing ovation.

"I'm glad you guys liked it." Charlie beamed up at him.

"Noona, maybe you could come to our dance practice sometime, before you try that again in public." Byeongkwan suggested to Guerin.

"Do you want to die?" She joked, throwing her arm around him and pulling him into a healock, but completely unable to keep a straight face.

"Aah, I'm kidding I'm sorry!" Byeongkwan tapped at her arm.

"Charlie you sing really well!" Donghun said. Guerin noticed him lean in closer to her friend as Jun's smile faded a bit, eyes moving back and forth between the two.

"Stop, I'm not a singer." Charlie protested.

"No really! We should sing a song together." Donghun pressed.

"Nooo you'll make me sound so bad." She waved her hand in protest, "Really you're being too nice."

Donghun took hold of her waving hand, "I'm serious, let's-"

Before he could finish his sentence Jun grabbed her hand away from Donghun and pulled her up toward him, he held her hand tightly, staring at Donghun, then moving his eyes to Charlie, "I like you. I don't want to see him flirt with you like that."

Charlie was flabbergasted. Her mouth worked as her mind caught up to what had just happened. Byeongkwan tapped lightly on Guerins arm, she had forgotten she was holding him as things unfolded and she quickly let him go but no one said anything else.

"I'm sorry to bring it up so suddenly but-" he suddenly couldn't speak anymore as Charlie took his hands and pulled him in for a kiss. Jun looked shocked.

"Sorry, I like you too. I got carried away." She looked down suddenly shy again but Jun beamed, pulled her chin up and kissed her again. Guerin, Byeongkwan and Donghun both cheered and bounced up. Seyoon had a big smile on his face, Chan looked shocked with a somewhat vacant smile on his face.

"I'm sorry Jun-ah, but you weren't doing anything so I thought I'd egg you on." Donghun clapped both of them on the back. Jun shot him a glare, "That's great so you can stop forever now." Guerin resisted bouncing over to Charlie and forced herself to sit back down. Seyoon scooted over to her.

"Did you know about this?" He asked, still smiling and watching.

"Well I knew Charlie liked him, but I wasn't sure about Jun." She looked at Seyoon, "Did you know?"

"Yeah, he talked to us." He responded.

"He wasn't sure he'd ever act on it, and if he did this wasnt in his plan." Chan piped up, laying across Seyoon to join the conversation.

The rest of the evening was spent drinking, singing and dancing. And, in the case of Charlie and Jun, holding hands and smiling at each other. Even Guerin with her high tolerance for alcohol managed to get well into tipsy by the time they were ready to wrap up.

"Are you okay getting home?" Charlie asked her friend, concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine, I'll just take a taxi or something." Guerin waved off her friend. She had heard Jun asking Charlie to get a coffee somewhere so they could talk and there was no way she was going to interrupt that. The two of them went their separate way, A.C.E held back until Guerin was able to flag down a taxi and get in before they headed off to their dorm.

"She was kind of drunk, think she'll be okay?" Donghun, peaked backwards concerned.

"Yeah, cabs can be creepy especially toward women." Byeongkwan added.

Chan looked genuinely concerned, "Normally I wouldn't worry about her but..."

"You guys go ahead without me." Seyoon peeled off and ran back to the taxi, stopping it and sliding into the backseat.

"Idiots. All of them." Donghun shook his head.

"What are you doing?" Guerin asked in surprise as Seyoon slid into the seat next to her.

Seyoon thanked the driver and apologized to him before answering Guerin, "Just making sure you get home safe. You never know these days." He said with a shrug.

"You're silly." She scoffed, "But that's very considerate of you, thank you."

They were quiet for a minute before Guerin spoke again, "Tonight was so much fun, thanks for letting Charlie and I crash your party."

Seyoon laughed, "It was never our party. Jun planned this after he invited Charlie and you."

Guerin covered her mouth to keep from laughing too loud, "He is slick." She giggled.

"It was fun anyway. We have fun when you're around." Seyoon said offhandedly looking at Guerin.

She smiled shyly then reach up to cover his eyes with her hand, "You have such an unsettling habit of staring directly at people." She laughed nervously trying to cover up her own reaction to the direct eye contact. He reached for her hand and pulled it down so she could see him still looking at her.

"You don't want me to look at you?" He asked, raising his eyebrows to accentuate his curious smile.

"I don't mean it like that. It's just a lot to look at you sometimes." Guerin tried to cover her tracks without thinking. She puffed out her cheeks realizing what she had said too late and looked straight ahead. Seyoon reached over to poke her cheek which caused her to glance at him from the corner of her eye and giggle. "Sorry, I'm not thinking straight. Just forget it."

His classic smile remained in place as he shrugged in acceptance and leaned back, just happy to have pestered her.

"Hey so what is your company's policy on dating?" Guerin asked suddenly.

"Our... dating? Why?" Seyoon was surprised by the sudden question.

"I'm curious for Charlie." She answered.

"Ah... I see." He nodded for a moment, trying to ignore the moment of disappointment he felt, "We can date. They want to know and I don't know how they'd go about it as far as announcing it." He shrugged, "I guess we'll find out."

"That's good at least. I'm glad you're allowed to be human." She smiled at him.

He bit his lip then slid his hand over to rest on top of hers, "Me too." He added, staring straight ahead. Her hand twitched under his but she didn't pull away. They sat like that for the next few minutes in silence until arriving at her apartment. She thanked him for riding with her home and tried to pay which Seyoon had to threaten to take her card away before she gave up. Once inside her apartment she washed her face, changed into pajamas then collapsed onto her bed.

"What the shit." She said to herself, flopping around in frustration under the covers.