#i think style genuinely doesn't want fadel to be lonely anymore

[fadelbison]

one of the things that I loved about the fadelstyle stalker date was that despite all of the conflict, style seemed to be the first person that showed an interest in fadel's life - like a genuine hey are you having a good time with your activities level of interest.

He showed up to the restaurant to watch him prep and make commentary. Fadel went all brooding and knife-ey on him sure but we dont see him pull out those biceps that we already know can drag style out.

He calls him chef and helps him out, doing exactly the job that we see Bison abandon earlier in the episode - when was the last time someone made fadel feel like he was something other than a cold blooded killer?

And then you remember that style and fadel have already had this heartbreaking interaction in episode 1

[Screenshots from Ep1 of Style asking Fadel "You do everything yourself?" and Fadel responding "I do."]

I was never convinced that that interaction was just about the heartburgers management for fadel lol

style is going to figure out they're assassins, style tries to backtrack from the car deal when kant agrees. i think asking for the car was style's way of refusing that favor but when kant agrees he gets curious or really starts believing that kant is in love.

style is probably the most intelligent of the four but he's definitely the most emotionally intelligent of the four though it's masked by his carefree personality - and he has figured out for better or for worse that fadel is lonely, desperately so.

style asks for a list of things that fadel likes doing and the best bison comes up with is his schedule which is exactly the same everyday but bison doesn't even know. and style makes it work. he tries to create intimacy at the burger shop in ep1 with fadel and it fails and when he's handed a schedule that is 70% fadel either prepping for or being at the burger shop, style comes back with companionship on offer.

when bison said fadel's insides need a beating, style correctly interprets it as put that man through the mortifying ordeal of being known and he really does it in a way that's not random. The random method failed so now he's trying to understand fadel, something that fadel hasn't experienced in a long time if he ever has.

And the cookie crumbles in less than a day. fadel should feel some embarassment for how easy it was?

look at fadel - he's confused. error 404 not found expression on a man if i've ever seen one. there are no internal protocols of handling this situation, so for the first time he has to rely on his instincts, instincts that were forced into ignoring and mistrusting this sort of stimulus.

fadel simply wants. the comeback of what he thought his long, dead desire (bison is the only person he's convinced himself he needs!!) and those hardened, survival instincts are at odds, and the struggle to push that impulse away, to jerk off angrily in the hopes its flushed out of his system - oh fadel i love that you're so un-normal about this.

style sets the challenge in the pursuit of fadel for himself in a way. despite having almost no information and this probably being a slightly hyperbolic statement style has surmised the stakes of this mission much better than even kant has.

style has him and im fairly certain style knows he has him...if he wants him. you've thrown your own gauntlet style so just how far are you going to go to meet that challenge?

[nnnn99999]

It's literally 2:45 am right now and here I am writing this because who needs sleep when you have thk. I feel like I need to write this right now because of how overwhelmed I am by this one scene.

You see, from the moment Fadel grabs Style and starts speaking in the abandoned warehouse(?) in the woods, there is only honesty between Fadel and Style. No mask, no lies, no deception, nothing. Just pure honesty. This is the first time Fadel dropped his mask completely and showed Style his true emotions. Style, recognizing that, also immediately drops his own mask and listens. Style, who shamelessly yaps all the time regardless of the situation, listens. Style, who has never hesitated to fire back at Fadel, just shuts up and listens.

This is the most serious I have seen Style be in this show. He is so incredibly focused on Fadel and what Fadel wants to express. Because this is what he has been waiting for. An opening to form a genuine connection with Fadel. This is so important to him, maybe more than he himself realizes. Because somewhere along the line, Style went beyond just having fun messing with Fadel. At this point, Style genuinely cares about Fadel and wants to understand him.

Coming to Fadel, I don't think he brought Style to this remote place to pour his heart out to Style. Nor do I think he had any intention of killing Style. I think be brought Style here to give him a scare, to show him how dangerous he really is. However, seeing Style following him without fear, calling out his name again and again, Fadel realized how much he likes having Style around. And that terrifies him. He is so scared of his own desires that it makes him really angry at the one who evokes this desire. Fadel enjoys having Style around, and the realization of this fact brings out Fadel's deepest fear, the fear of falling in love.

As Fadel talks about how much he doesn't like getting used to having Style around, Style, I think for the first time, sees how much Fadel is struggling within. Fadel is so frustrated at himself for feeling everything he is feeling, and he is so incredibly scared of getting attached to Style. It's so hard for him to accept that he doesn't want to be lonely anymore, because Style with his ridiculous antics brings so much color to his life. Fadel, for the first time, lets Style see how much he wants him, and how much he hates himself for wanting him.

Then comes the moment that killed me. It's when Fadel says "I don't like that I miss you". He is so vulnerable in this moment, his desire and fear clearly visible in his eyes as he stares directly at Style, and admits that he has already grown attached to Style. (Oh, the way Joong delivered this hit me like a gut punch, truly.)

Style, as he feels the honesty and sincerity coming from Fadel, expresses himself in the most sincere way he himself is capable of. Instead of saying anything, he shows Fadel that he, too, cares. The first kiss, initiated by Style, is his attempt at conveying to Fadel his own feeling. It is somewhat tentative, but full of sincerity. And then Style says, "it's okay to love". And it is at this moment that an emotional connection is finally formed between the two.

Fadel, not once, said anything about being afraid to love. But that's what he was tryimg to express all along, trying to tell Style why he has been trying so hard to push him away. And Style understood. He recognized Fadel's fear and gave him the reassurance he so desperately needed. That Fadel doesn't need to be alone. That Fadel is allowed to form bonds with others. That Fadel is allowed to love and be loved.

This communication is so honest because neither is trying to tell the other that they love the other. Because neither of them are in love yet. However, they do care about each other and that is very well communicated between the two.

This leads to the both of them giving in to their desire for each other. If you compare it to their first time, the difference is so clear. This time is so much more intense, because this time both of them are so much more into it as they relish in their newfound connection. They maintain constant eyecontact the entire time, which was pretty much nonexistent during their first time. They were not restraining themselves like they did before. This is why this time felt so much more intimate than their first time, even though they were wearing way less clothes during their first time. It's so emotionally charged this time. Even the lighting this time is dimmer, but warmer. Making this moment feel even more intimate.

There is also such a huge difference in their interactions right after their first time and second time. After the first time, Fadel was irritable, Style was annoying, neither seemed content and there was so much distance between them, physically and emotionally. After the second time however, they seem very relaxed and content. They are resting pretty close to each other, with their elbows touching/almost touching. There is a sense of ease and comfort between them. Fadel is in a good enough mood to smile, Style is in a good enough mood to tone down his attitude. This is the most pleasant conversation they have had so far, and while this moment isn't as honest as the one inside the building, it's still pretty chill and sincere.

I like that the intensity between FadelStyle is increasing gradually as their feelings for each grow more and more. I will definitely not survive their actual confession. After all, I already died at "i don't like that i miss you".