#i think steve would vibe incredibly hard with Zombie by The Cranberries

[is-emily-real]

in your head (zombie)

Eddie sat in the chair across the room and watched the figure curled on the floor. It was all he could do. Sobs erupted from the shaking mass, hands tugging at soft brown hair as Vecna inflicted his torture.

Raspy laughter sent a chill down his spine. “Not going to hold him? Not going to tell him it’s not real, that you’ll banish the bad dreams?” 

He couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t, and that in and of itself was his own torture to bear. He wasn’t in Steve’s plane of existence anymore, hadn’t been for, God, forever now. He stopped fighting it, choosing instead to sit and listen to his heart shatter.

“I think it’d be good for you,” Vecna whispered. “You should see what he’s seeing.”

His stomach twisted. “Please,” he whispered breathlessly. “I don’t want to. Please.” But he knew it was no use. 

Red lightning flashed around him, and then he was there with Steve. Dustin’s mangled body laid before them, pale and unmoving, but still his voice sounded. “You weren’t there,” the boy spat, full of venom. “You weren’t the hero. I should have known you were too selfish to save me.”

Robin and Nancy chimed in next. “You let us die. You let him kill us.” 

“I didn’t want to.” Steve choked on the words. “I wanted you to be safe.”

“You made us fight Vecna alone,” more voices taunted. “You made us lose.”

“No! No,” he sobbed. “I didn't, I couldn't…”

He couldn’t take it anymore. Eddie sprung to his feet and grasped him by the shoulders. “Steve, Stevie, listen. Listen to me.”

The boy looked around frantically. “Eddie?”

“This isn’t real. They’re all alive, they’re safe. He’s just fucking with you, man.”

“Eddie, where are you?” he whimpered.

Tears pricked his eyes. “I’m right here, baby. Just look, I’m right here. I’m always here.” He waved his hand in front of Steve’s face, but there was no recognition in his eyes, no indication that he could see him. He cupped the other man’s cheeks. “Come on, sweetheart, snap out of it. Fight him.”

Vecna’s laughter echoed like they were in a fishbowl. “I already won.”

“You know that’s not true,” he continued to whisper to Steve. “He’s weak. He doesn't have the strength to hurt anyone. All you have to do is fight it. You’re stronger than him, Stevie. He can’t break you.” 

The boy took a deep breath as he straightened his spine. “Dustin is alive. Robin and Nancy are alive. The kids are safe.” He repeated it like a chant, letting the vision fade away until they sat back on the floor of his bedroom. 

“There you go, big boy.” They sat quietly as Steve got his bearings. 

Finally, the boy stood, moving through Eddie. He left a searing cold in his wake. The walkie on the nightstand crackled. “Check in.”

“Max, Lucas, Erica, safe.”

“Wheeler house, safe.”

“Byers and Argyle, safe.”

“Hopper, safe.”

Steve picked up the walkie. “Robin and Steve, safe.” 

“Dustin, safe. Check in concluded.” It was their ritual, how they started and ended their days after their last romp through the Upside Down. Eddie tried to mess with the lingering static. Dot, dash dot dot. Dot, dash dot dot. Ed, Ed, Ed, over and over and over.

It never went through.

His laugh was humorless. Every fucking day. Every single fucking day. This was hell in all its unadulterated glory. Fuck, he was so close to the life he’d let himself dream of once upon a time. He spent every second with the person he’d loved from afar, and all that time only drew him in in the most bitter way. 

Steve crawled into bed as he commiserated. He hated the Harrington house. The emptiness swallowed any joy that dared venture in these walls. He could feel the cold reverberating as Vecna consumed the last vestiges of Eddie’s sanity.

Not that he needed it, of course, but it’s always good to hold onto something in a psycho-nightmare universe.

Two soft raps on the door caught their attention. Robin let herself in, joining Steve under the covers and pulling him close. He wrapped his arms around her, and a pang shot through Eddie’s chest. All this time, and he still got jealous.

“It’s bad today,” she commented idly.

“It’s always bad,” Steve mumbled. “I don’t think I can take much more.”

“I know.”

The silence hung over the room, taut as a bowstring. It taunted Eddie. 

Why wasn’t she doing anything? Why wouldn’t she say anything, anything, something that would help him hold on? He wanted to push her away, to cradle Steve and whisper sweet thoughts of a peaceful future. 

It was a future they could never have, and Eddie knew it damn well. It didn’t stop it from hurting, though.

He scuffed his shoe against the floor and muttered, “Son of a bitch.”

Steve shot up from Robin’s arms, snapping his head to and fro. “He’s here,” he said frantically as he scrambled out of the bed. “I heard him, Rob, Eddie’s here.”

“Steve?” he whispered, incredulous. “Steve, you can hear me!”

“Eddie!” His heart fractured a little more as Steve threw open the closet and began ripping down the clothes. 

“Steve, stop. He’s not here.”

Eddie’s eyes snapped to Robin. She had this pained look on her face that he tried to decipher as she continued. “He was dead before we got there. We couldn’t get him out. You know that.”

“He’s gotta be here. He has to be alive, Robin. Vecna’s messing with us. He’s alive.”

He figured out her expression. It’s all in your head. He’d seen it on so many other faces, but never on Buckley the Believer. 

How fucking dare she look at him like that. How dare she give up on him like so many others, imply that he was going crazy when she knew. She knew what he had been through. She knew what Vecna was capable of, and she had the goddamn gall to look at Steve like he was finally losing it.

The fury boiled in Eddie’s chest until all he could do was scream.

She flinched, eyes wide as she scanned the room. “Steve, I think you’re right.”