#i think sometimes i can be a bit shallow . ljke shes so attractive and she Does Cool Things but
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we were supposed to meet today but im in another city and she hasnt texted so ofc we're not and it's ok it's just like...officially over i still feel weird
left the screaming crying shaking stage and also left the im happy everything is fine stage now entering processing stage very not fun
#i have to remind myself there r better ppl#i think sometimes i can be a bit shallow . ljke shes so attractive and she Does Cool Things but#ik that doesnt make you a good person but atp im like...idk if i ever meet smn like that or if they exist at all#beautiful hot subtly masc soft lips speaks the same language motorcycle + lawyer + muscular but not too much#looks great in backless tops and is cultured and dresses well etc etc...and also is a good person#its hard to reconcile how she looks and how she acts w who she is#so i feel#not as devestated anymore but just...kind of hopeless a little i dont know#do u think theyre real#hot and also Good#anyway i had to just think for a bit this morning . to like. tell myself itll be ok and there r better ppl#idk why todsy rly hit hard particularly#its only 1pm too . im sure itll pop into my head#idk what to do w the cigarettes she gave me . a friend of mine proposed tying them to fireworks#but i think i might just smoke them one by one with other people#i never smoke alone but#i like the idea that the cigarettes she gave me are not shared w her#theyre for friends and people more worth my time#going on a walk w my friend in half an hour#shes the best ik it'll be nice to talk to her
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