#i think she was still riding on the high of finding out shadowheart wants to get married and start an animal rescue in the countryside

[greatpoetryfun]

my bg3 session today, in meme format

[areax]

babysitting headcanons and kind of also parenting ones for some reason

Astarion: He gets jealous of Tav’s other friends so he would be jealous of a baby. Would absolutely neglect it and has no patience with children. Has only ever had a good interaction with a child when Tav is looking directly at him pressuring him to say one (1) nice thing. Might be marginally better with teenagers but still liable to get into screaming matches with them.

Gale: I think he finds babies fascinating conceptually (what a cool idea to be seeing everything and learning everything for the first time!) but not in practice (messy, crying, needs a lot of attention, Gale is not very patient). I think he would be good with kids for a short period of time but after an hour or so would get really drained. A good uncle but not a good babysitter.

Halsin: Canonically takes care of kids and they all call him “Daddy Halsin” so of course he would be perfect. Would turn into a bear and let them ride around on his back. The only drawback is that it might frighten kids who are scared of large animals but he would do his best to make them feel safe.

Jaheira: I think she really wanted to be a good mom but failed at it because it’s basically impossible to balance that with saving the world multiple times, so it might be better for her to look after a kid sporadically; babysitting is a good in between. I know the Harpers are like cop adjacent but she's the kind of person to read the kid a book like “so the doggie says ‘woof woof’ … butterfly don’t say nothing … the pig says ‘Stop in the name of the Flaming Fist!’”

Karlach: I imagine she’s good with kids but it’s hampered by the fact that she can’t physically pick them up / change their diaper / stop them from running directly into a tree branch / etc. But if she has her upgrade she would be great! I can picture her having planned on having kids eventually, but then she was sent to the Hells. Sadly she is not a regularly available babysitter option :(

Lae’zel: Rolls her eyes at being asked to do so but will if she likes you enough. Teaches the kid swordplay; they come back with a black eye but they had a lot of fun. Not a good candidate for a regular babysitter but works in a pinch.

Minsc: Would accidentally sit on the baby. Tries his very very best but is not suited to it in the slightest. Would throw the kid too high into the sky when they wanted uppies and would always catch them but you’d be scared out of your mind. Better with older kids, would be a great camp counselor if your kid is super outdoorsy.

Minthara: Similar to Lae’zel, doesn’t want to do it but will if she likes you enough. Your kid will be returned fed and physically intact but probably either bored due to no enrichment or terrified because Minthara told them about The Spiders.

Shadowheart: Likes kids more than she would freely admit but isn’t inclined toward them. As with Gale, is alright with kids for maybe an hour but would not be a good choice for anything longer than that. However she is pretty responsible with them, she would watch your kid while you go smoke. She will do everything technically right but would not enjoy herself.

Wyll: THE BABYSITTER OF FRONTIERS!!!!!!!!!!! GREAT WITH KIDS, A GOOD TEACHER, NURTURING, PATIENT, KIND, AND YES HE IS SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!!! He is not only fun but also understands how to deal with difficult situations and knows what is age appropriate for a child (will NOT let them swing around a REAL sword like Lae’zel would). Absolutely the gold star standard, the only downside is that your kid might like him more than you. They will complain when it’s time to be picked up or when you come home because of how much fun they’ve been having. Would be the best parent on this whole list.