#i think she looks too much like amy in her normal hair/spine style so i wanted to experiment :]

[un-pearable]

quick redraws of her renders to figure the new gal out + a little redesign i inevitably started doodling :] i like her spiky :]

[amydancepants-peralta]

For the most recent prompts, no. 35 with peraltiago?

I’d love to!  🌟 Here’s a little something for 35: “Your stray red item turned my whites pink.”

love, in full colour 

Today was turning out to be a pretty great Sunday for Amy, as she stretches her legs out on her boyfriend Jake’s surprisingly comfortable couch and presses play on the documentary he had so sweetly recorded for her.  Weekends off had always been a favourite of hers, but if there’s anything that the past nine months has told her, it's that weekends off when you’re dating Jake Peralta are just so much better.  

She had woken up this morning to Jake’s familiar sleepy cuddles, morning stubble scratching against her skin and sending tingles up and down her spine as his arms wrapped around her waist, convincing her in approximately 2.3 seconds that sleeping in definitely wasn’t such a bad thing (especially when it eventually leads to … other things).  It had been a long week; made all the longer by a perp that had decided to play cat and mouse with the detectives of the nine-nine, and even after they’d stumbled out of bed and toasted bagels for breakfast, Amy genuinely didn’t have any desire to have a day any more productive than TV, blankets, and (most importantly), Jake.  

It had been close to half an hour ago that he’d slipped out of the apartment for the second time, basket in hand as he’d headed back down to the laundry room to collect the washing he’d put on earlier.  Rebuffing her offers of help with a swift kiss to her lips, he’d simply reminded Amy of the program ready and waiting for her, throwing out a “Love you!” as he’d headed for the door, and honestly if Amy’s Sunday hadn’t already been looking great, that moment right there just absolutely topped it.  

(It’s been months since they’d started saying it - those three little words that had seemed so terrifying but actually were up there with her favourite phrases ever - but they still managed to spark a tiny ball of happiness inside her every single time the words came out of Jake’s mouth.  She supposes that this is what love is, really - sour candy flavoured kisses and laughter in the darkness - and she’s so thankful that she found it in Jake.)

The documentary has been playing for ten or so minutes before Amy’s index finger begins hovering over the pause button, one part still interested in the manufacturing process of the world’s oldest brass instruments, and one (slightly louder) part feeling strangely empty without her boyfriend’s warm chest to rest up against.  (Even though she knows he would spending the entire program playing on his phone, there’s something about his presence that just makes everything … better.)

Amy’s still in Consideration Mode when she hears Jake’s key slide into the lock, and it’s ridiculous how big her smile begins to get, but as she tips her face up to catch his eyes her lips falter on their ascent.  

There’s an obvious air of frustration surrounding him as he skulks past her, holding the plastic basket close to his hip as he heads towards the bed on the other side of his loft-style apartment.  It bounces slightly against the recently remade duvet as Jake dumps the contents onto the mattress, his frustrations quickly bubbling to the surface, and without hesitation Amy forgoes the remote control, standing quickly to join her boyfriend by his bed.  

“Everything okay?”

He nods, letting out a soft grunt as he half-heartedly starts folding the newly cleaned clothes, and honestly Amy is trying not to pay attention to his folding technique, but her fingers are just itching to take over.  There’s still a slight pout on his face, small enough for her to pick up on, and it takes precedent over any Kondo-like techniques that she might be dying to demonstrate.  “You sure?”

Jake gives her another nod, followed quickly by a shrug.  “I mean, there’s one little problem with the laundry that I don’t know how to fix, but … it’s no biggie.”

“A problem with your laundry?”

“Yeah.”  He sighs, balling up the t-shirt in his hand before dropping it back into the pile, using his free hand to run through his hair, which has just started to get long enough to curl.  “Turns out there was a stray item of yours that was in my laundry.  I mean, there were a few things, and that makes total sense, but there was one item in particular - a red item, actually - that I think might be the culprit.”

“The culprit?”

“So … I might not have noticed have been paying close attention when I transferred everything to the dryer, and well …”  he lifts up a pair of socks, similar to the ones he wore to bed last week except now they were a deep pink, and Amy tries her best to stifle her giggle.  “There’s like … another three pairs just like it,” he adds with a mumble.    

“But!  May I present to you, detective: the guilty party.”  Transferring the socks to his left, his right hand digs through the pile before pulling out a lacy red bra that Amy may have recently bought purely on the knowledge that it was one of Jake’s favourite colours on her.

(To be fair, he might have told her that all of the colours were his favourite colours on her, but she’s definitely seen a positive response to the colour red in the past.)

“Alleged guilty party, thank you very much,” Amy begins, grinning to take the edge off of her response.  “Plus, you didn’t seem to mind that bra so much last night, if I recall correctly.”

She reaches for the offending item, and Jake’s fingers tighten around the lace, holding her bra close to his chest, and she giggles at his reflexive response.  “Despite my flinging it across the room, I can confirm that I did - and DO - indeed love it.  Almost as much as I love the person who was wearing it.”

Her cheeks begin to turn the same colour as the socks in her boyfriend’s hand, and Amy cocks her head to the side.  “I love you too, babe.  So … what’s the problem you can’t figure out?  If it’s the pink you’re worried about, a bit of bleach will get that right out.”

“Huh?”  He lifts his hand up, glancing at the item that Amy is pointing to.  “Oh.  Nah.  I don’t care about the colour.  You and I both know that I would rock this pink.  I can already tell it’s going to highlight my ankles in the perfect way.  Really accentuate my curves, you know?  I just ..”

Even before they were something more than partners, Amy could see through Jake’s ‘make a joke to conceal how I’m really feeling about something’ technique, and today is no exception.  Taking the smallest of steps closer to him, she softens her voice ever so slightly.  “Jake?”

His shoulders slump to the floor, and his right hand releases her lingerie.  “I just … I feel so stupid.  I’m trying to be the perfectly domesticated boyfriend, a responsible adult who cleans up after himself and doesn’t leave empty pizza boxes everywhere.”  His eyes drop to the floor briefly before flicking back up to meet hers, and the sincerity in his gaze cuts Amy to the quick.  “You know, the kinda guy that doesn’t need supervising in the laundry room, or whatever.”  His hand closes tightly around the socks before dropping it back into the pile, and when he looks back up at Amy she can see the disappointment stretched across his face.  “And obviously, I completely failed.  I wasn’t going to say anything, but .. I dunno, I guess maybe I don’t want to keep things from you or something.”

In all honesty, Amy’s not entirely sure what she was expecting Jake’s answer to be, but it definitely wasn’t that.  She stands still in front of him for the longest minute as a result, mouth open slightly as her mind races to absorb his response.    

He takes her silence as a request for more information, and shuffles his sneaker covered feet against the floorboards.  “It’s just … I know that people think that you’re way too good for me.  And to be fair, they’re not entirely wrong.  I was just hoping that I could find a way to bridge the gap a little … try and make it a little less obvious that I’m punching well above my weight.  And then I couldn’t even do the damn laundry right.”

At any given moment, Amy could present to any asking stranger a million reasons why Jake Peralta was the man that had captured her heart, and the notion that the justification was coming from her very own boyfriend was making her soul ache more than a little bit.  

Anybody that thought he wasn’t good enough for her could go jump in the Gowanus Canal, for all she cared.  But the thought that Jake considered it to be true?  Nuh-uh.  Not on her watch.

She moves closer to him, close enough to smell the oddly intoxicating body wash he uses - the one that always seems to get her pulse racing, but she suspects that it’s more due to the user than the product itself.  “Jake.  You specifically ordered dinner last night from the Chinese restaurant that was exactly thirty-five minutes away from your apartment, knowing that I would be over in twenty and you wanted to give me a chance to settle before the food arrived.”

“That, and they do the best dumplings.  But yeah, you’re right - mostly the time thing.”  

“I woke up this morning on a cloud of a mattress, one that you bought purely so that I would be able actually sleep when I stayed over.”

Jake’s mouth twists to one side, and after a beat he folds his arms across his chest.  “I just wanted you to feel comfortable … with the added bonus of you staying over more often.  Although I have to admit, once you’ve realised you have a dumpster mattress, it’s actually really hard to ignore the springs that dig into your back in the middle of the night.”

Amy’s smile grows bigger, reaching out to rest her palm flat against his chest.  “And then you made us both bagels, with extra cream cheese - something that I know you don’t normally have in your fridge, which tells me you went grocery shopping just in case I stayed over.  Not to mention the documentary on brass instruments that you ‘happened to see scheduled and just recorded’, because you knew I would want to watch it eventually.”

“It actually looked pretty cool,” he mumbles, shrugging his shoulders in an attempt to make it seem like a lesser deal than it actually was.  

“And don’t think I didn’t notice the freshly cleaned sheets, and the space you’d made for me in your bathroom cabinet months ago.”

“…. Are you … journaling all of this somewhere?”

Letting out a soft chuckle, Amy shakes her head.  “My point is, you are rocking the boyfriend role, babe.  Seriously.  You have been so sweet and attentive, without ever getting too much, and honestly I’ve just had the best time with you.  I hope you know just how much I appreciate it … how much I appreciate you, and how great you make me feel whenever you’re around.  Seriously, you should feel my heart sometimes, I feel like it’s going to beat right out of my chest.”

He still has a slightly wary look on his face, but as Amy wraps her arms around his shoulders, crossing her wrists behind his neck, Jake’s hands wrap around her waist in automatic response.  “I love you, Jake Peralta.  For everything you are, exactly as you come.”

A slight blush begins to wash across his cheeks, and oh, how she just wants to kiss this ridiculous notion right off of his lips.  “I love you too, Ames.  You’re just … the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”  His grip on her hips grows a little tighter, and his voice lowers.  “And I’m sorry if all of this sounded totally stupid, I just … want to make you as happy as you’ve made me.” 

“Mission accomplished, babe.  You’re everything I want, I don’t give two hoots what anybody else thinks.”  Punctuating her sentence with a soft kiss, she rests her hands on either side of his neck and raises her eyebrows suggestively.  “Now, why don’t we take care of this laundry so the bed is nice and clear, and then I can show you just how much you are the right person for me.”

“Noice.  Just checking though … that doesn’t mean ‘throw everything to the floor so that I can immediately ravage my super-hot boyfriend’, does it?”

Cocking her head to the side, Amy grins.  “You should definitely trust your instincts on that one.”

“10-4.  We’re going to fold the heck out of this laundry.”

*

It’s a several years older Jake Peralta that fishes into his sock drawer one early afternoon, desperately looking for those just thick enough socks that he hasn’t seen in months but is sure he hasn’t thrown away.  They’re tucked up right along the furtherest edge of the drawer, in a position that Amy’s engagement ring had once also called home, and he grins when his fingers wrap around the hidden treasure.

They’re a little less pink these days, having been through the wash several times since their re-colouring, but he can still make out the slight tinge when he holds them up to the light.  Pulling them on with vigour, he makes his way back out to the living room to join his wife and son - knowing that both are looking forward to the start of their midday movie session - and also just as eager for some much-needed Family Time.  

“Okay, made it,”  Jake announces, lifting up the bag of candy he’d snagged from the kitchen as he’d passed, “and I brought snacks.”  From his left, his son Mac looks up from his position snuggled into Amy’s side, and upon clocking Jake’s sudden appearance he beams (the kind of smile that just makes Jake’s heart soar, every. time.), scrambling in his clumsy toddler-esque style to climb onto Jake’s lap, wrapping his arms around his father’s neck in the very best way that his still so chonky arms will allow.  Casting the bag of snacks to the side, Jake whispers “ready to watch the movie, little man?”, reaching out to tweak Mac’s button nose (a thankful inheritance from his mother) when he nods.  

Turning his head further to the left as he wraps his arms around his son, Jake catches Amy’s eyes, noticing them sparkle as she takes it all in.  Shuffling ever so slightly, Jake moves an inch to the left so that his left arm can rest on his wife’s legs, and she curls her fingers around his with one hand as she presses play on the remote with the other.  

His crossed feet plonk onto the coffee table in front of him, and as he glances briefly at his socks before turning his attention back to the movie, Jake cannot help but think of the younger version of himself that had felt so insecure about his relationship with Amy.  She is, after all, the love of his life (a fact that perhaps he hadn’t been ready to acknowledge back then, but one that was true within weeks of them dating all the same), and he was hers.  Maybe if he’d been able to see that, he wouldn’t have taken the little things like a pair of newly coloured socks so hard.

Amy’s fingers squeeze his gently, and after glancing at her from the corner of his eye, Jake picks up on the fact that she’s just noticed his choice in attire.  It would appear that the pink tinge is just as noticeable to her and it is to him - a fact that makes his heart more than a little bit happy - and when she tugs him a little closer he closes the gap between them, pressing his lips against hers in a chaste but loving kiss.

He cannot deny the smile that is growing on his face as they both pull away, returning their attention to the screen in front of them but keeping their fingers linked all the while.  This right here, was everything that he needed - and undoubtedly, everything he deserved - and he genuinely cannot wait to raise Mac together with Amy, and show their son just how amazing the world can be when you always have love on your side.  

[mumofadaofficial-blog]

Welcome to the World

I decided it was probably right to take you back to the start of this journey and maybe help you to understand what we have been through. Its probably gonna be a long, emotional one but its important. 

The 14th July will forever be a special day to me, Ada’s Birthday, and what a day that turned out to be! Ten days overdue we eventually welcomed our special little girl into the world and wow did she make sure she did it in full dramatic style!

I was called in on Friday 13th to be induced (should of known there and then!). I was put into my little bay in my bed, Shortly after I was examined and given a pessary…ladies you will know what that means 😳 very pleasant! I was then popped onto a monitor for half an hour and all was normal. Eventually it got late so Nath went home, there wasn’t much point in him staying, although I was petrified I would go into labour and he wouldn’t wake up to my phone calls and miss the whole thing! I settled down for the night but didn’t get much sleep.The following morning my hero (Nath) bought me a McDonalds breakfast in bed and all was right in the world, monitor readings were fine and the waiting game began. 

Then it started! Short, sharp pains, lasting about 30 seconds every 3 minutes or so. Now I have a high pain threshold but this was next level, I was convinced that something was wrong and was overdue my CTG reading so went to see my midwife. I was offered paracetamol, advised to go for a walk or have a bath. At that stage I asked to be put back onto the monitor as I was overdue to be. We then started to see that something was going wrong, the heart rate had dropped and was struggling to recover to a normal reassuring rate. Immediately I wanted that baby out and asked for a c-section! Unfortunately, it took two more heart rate drops and over an hour before that decision was granted - along with trying to be convinced that I should have my waters broke and try for a natural birth! I mean, I’m not doctor but realistically what chance did I stand of that happening and everything being ok. 

The whole time that this is happening and theres a million different members of staff flying in and out of the room and discussing whats going on with my baby I was still in the induction suite. I remember being very aware of the fact that there was three other woman in that room waiting to have their babies, all being able to hear the nightmare we were having. I can get over the fact of having no privacy, after three sweeps and god knows how many examinations my dignity was at an all time low anyway. But I remember afterwards thinking how petrifying it must of been for those other woman to hear what was happening whilst waiting to go through the stressful time that is labour themselves. 

Eventually I was moved into another room, the doctor was till trying to convince me to have my waters broke rather than a section and said they would give me 30 minutes to think about it, at the time I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that - now I realise a bloody lot can happen in 30 minutes with an unborn baby and what the hell were they thinking?! I rang my mum, as you do, for advice. She said what I thought and that I should have a section straight away - I remember feeling absolutely helpless. Putting your life and your unborn babies life in the hands of a complete stranger that is telling you everything you don’t want to hear. Whilst on the phone, the heart rate went again and she made the decision for us. 

Within minutes I was in the delivery suite I was told to sit on the operating table and bend over and hug a pillow, they then injected me in my spine and made me lay down straight away. The anaesthetist told me to lift my legs towards the ceiling and I couldn’t…strangest feeling in the world! Your mind is telling your legs so hard to work and they just won’t…desired effect had obviously happened! I don’t think I have ever felt so petrified as to what was about to happen, with Nath at my side in his scrubs we were ready for it. 

From 15 minutes to entering the room Ada was born! We heard two small cries and then the worst silence, I knew there was something wrong but couldn’t move to see what was happening. At this point I had never seen my child, didn’t know if we had a son or a daughter or what state the baby was in. Just that there was a shit ton of people surrounding our baby and Nathan was really badly trying to reassure me that everything was ok. I just remember crying and wishing I could do anything to be able to get off that table and do something. 

Our midwife came over shortly and informed us that ‘she’ was doing ok but was very poorly. SHE?! We’d had a little girl which was such a massive shock, myself and the majority of other people were convinced we were having a boy. She explained that Ada had inhaled her poo and that they were going to have to take her to the NICU straight away. With that she was gone, I’d seen a brief glimpse of masses of jet black hair as they pushed her past me and a photo they had allowed Nathan to take on his phone. I didn’t get to hold her, touch her, kiss her, just a quick glimpse as she left the room. 

We were then moved into a side room whilst they sorted me out and stabilised Ada, my mum joined us at the hospital and then we had to wait. Id like to say it felt like hours, but it actually was hours. Various people came in and out and its all a bit of a blur I think because of shock at that time, we were told she had meconium aspiration syndrome and was very very poorly. 

I was told I could go and see her once I could feel my legs, I definitely couldn’t feel my legs but lied and said I could. Around 3 hours after Ada was born I was helped into a wheelchair by a lovely health assistant, Nathan and my mum and taken down to NICU to meet my daughter for the first time. It’s not even far from the delivery suite but it felt like the longest trip down the corridor to meet her and I have never felt so sick. And there she was, laying there with a group of people working away, tube down her throat and wires all over her, but it was her and she was perfect. It’s very hard to explain the emotions that go through your mind at a time like that. But I can remember the overwhelming feeling of love, like I had never known before. And then fear, fear of what was going to happen to her, what was it they were actually doing to her? All these different drugs being pumped into her and people trying to tell you what is going on but not being able to process anything because all I could do was look at her. I was taken back to my bed and we were told that she was going to be transferred to Norwich as they had better equipment. Before she was able to be transferred they had to stabilised her, it must of been around 5 hours before she was ready to go. Unfortunately due to just having major surgery myself I was unable to travel with Ada, if anything happened to me they would leave me in order to save Adas life. I was to travel behind in a blue light ambulance so if anything went wrong I would be able to be reunited with Ada as soon as possible. So the responsibility fell down to Nathan, I have never felt so guilty knowing that he was going to have to do that journey by himself, not knowing the fate of Ada. Nath being Nath took it in his stride, had a fag and a brew and got himself ready to go. 

I was taken down to NICU to say goodbye to her before her journey to Norwich and it wasn’t until that point that I realised just how bad things were. There was an amazing team of people called ANTS who were getting her ready and about to transfer her into what I can only describe as some sort of baby spaceship for the ambulance, Drugs and wires rigged up everywhere! Some people may think that the woman was too harsh and blunt but she was probably the most honest person I had spoken to up until that point. She crouched down on the floor in front of me and told me that “I needed to prepare myself” I was taken a back, she then said something that will ring through my ears and haunt me most probably for the rest of my life “Your baby might not make this journey Amy”. It literally felt like my stomach had dropped out on the floor beneath me. I could see that it had cut threw Nathan and then I looked at my mum who was clearly trying so hard to be positive but it had got her too. I gave Ada a kiss, left the room and went back to wait for my ambulance feeling numb. Then I cried like I have never cried before in my life. In a way that I didn’t even know it was possible. 

I remember apologising over and over again to my mum, in my mind at that time I had given her a granddaughter that I was convinced was going to die and I just blamed myself. Nathan came in to say goodbye before leaving and I was still trying to be brave, telling him that whatever happened it was not his fault and that he didn’t have to worry, we could get through it together. 

Minutes after he had left somebody came in to inform me that I couldn’t have an ambulance as the ambulance service did not think that I needed one. Due to the fact that I wasn’t critical myself, even though I had just had major surgery, I could have one but it could take up to 4 hours to provide it. It even says in my notes that we received afterwards ‘that they appreciate my child might die before it reaches Norwich but there is nothing they can do’. Well we didn’t have 4 hours to wait so I left the hospital and travelled to Norwich in my mums car, around 5 hours after a c section! Its alarming to me now that there was no advice given to my mum as to what she should do if something went wrong with me, we just left. During this Nathan had text me to see if we had set off, presuming I was going to be in an ambulance, you can imagine his shock when I text him back saying that I was going in my mums car, he’s since told me he’s never been so worried that he was going to end up without both of us. 

By the time of me leaving, Nathans mum and dad had travelled down from up north and picked my dad up to meet us at the hospital, we then all travelled over to Norwich and met Nathan at the entrance. Ada was already inside and the incredible NICU team were working their magic on her. 

I still haven’t and very much need to thank the team at Norwich for the miracles they worked on Ada. When we entered the unit everyone was so calm even though they were dealing with one of the most stressful situations ever. They all welcomed me in as ‘Mum’ the first time I had been called that in my life! I could of spoken to a million people that night and I would never ever be able to tell you who they were or what they said to me, there is only certain parts that stick out in my memory. Our parents were allowed in with us for support and to meet Ada, a really happy yet sad moment to introduce your parents to their grandchild in that circumstance. 

I think around 5am me and Nathan went to bed, we were then woken up around 6am as we were needed for a meeting on the NICU unit with Adas consultant. Instantly my heart sank as I was prepared for the worst news. We went in for the meeting and I can still hear the woman asking me how I felt and all I could respond with was “pretty shit” She told me that was probably the most honest thing that anyone would say to her all day. She then went on to tell us that they had done everything they could with Ada, tried every treatment and thrown the kitchen sink at her but she wasn’t responding to it and making no improvement. Our last option was that they would try to find her a bed wherever one was available in the UK to give her a treatment called ECMO. At the time I never looked at what it was just agreed that we would try anything possible, I’ve since found out that they fit an artificial heart and lung, entering through the neck to try and give hers a rest and let it recover! It really is amazing what they can do.

They found her a bed at Birmingham children’s hospital and made plans for her to be transported, this consisted of an ambulance coming up from Great Ormond Street Hospital and then travelling through to Birmingham. Again, Nathan would have to travel with Ada and I would have to go separately with my mum and dad. When the ambulance arrived they started to prep Ada for the journey but realised that something was wrong with the ambulance so they wouldn’t be able to transport her in that one, they called for another to be sent. In that 2 hour delay something happened and Ada started to respond to her treatment, maybe she just didn’t fancy Birmingham?! The odds were completely stacked against her but she did it! 

From then on she improved daily, all those silly things that people take for granted we were longing to happen. Just to be able to celebrate with people that our baby was here without it being tinged with sadness. By day 4 they had decreased her sedation, changed her oxygen and we saw her open her eyes for the first time. Day 5 she was moving her arms and legs, and after a long wait we got to hold her for the first time - five whole days we waited to hold her in our arms! Ok, so it wasn’t how I wanted it to be but I realise now that waiting that time made it all the more special - I got my moment. We heard her cry! That sounds so simple but if it hasn’t happened you just want and want to hear it (I wish she did it less now!). By day 8 I could start feeding her myself, something that was really important to me as I wanted that bond. Nathan also decided on day 8 to propose to me! I think he was trying to write me off with emotions and see how much I could take 😂 Day 13 we were able to give her a bath ourselves and by Day 15 we were bringing her home to King’s Lynn. Bittersweet for me considering the start we had there but at least we were closer to family and friends. 

After 25 days in hospital we were able to take Ada home, on oxygen, but we didn’t care as long as she was home. To get her home and shut the door was incredible, no machines bleeping, no nurses, just us as a family. 

On the 27th August we got the go ahead from the hospital that her readings had come back fine and after a stressful few weeks we were able to turn her oxygen off, she’s still going now so it must of been the right decision! 

Its been in no way easy but its been so worth all the hard times and tears. We went to hospital as a couple and left as a family, a little later than we hoped for but we got there eventually. 

I am so grateful that Nathan is the person that he is. Not many men would stay in hospital for that long and he was the thing that got me through everyday. He was always positive when I didn’t know how to be, and I will love him always for what he has given me.  

I’m thankful to both of sets of our parents for being there for us, to my mum for travelling to Norwich almost everyday - knowing that someone is coming to see you at 3pm everyday really makes a difference. And to our family and friends for the visits, messages, well wishes, cards and how they continue to shower Ada with the love. 

No matter how much stuff you buy or how many people give you advice, nothing can prepared you for the whirlwind that a tiny human brings. But love or learn from every minute of it and always remember how important it is to support each other through the good or bad. 

Amy x