#i think my main problem is that i dont have any emotional resilience

[mcpuliotjr]

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[lukewright12-blog]

FMP FINAL EVALUATION

For my final, I have made a film. This film after seven weeks I think still adheres to what I said I would do in my original project brief. The film itself is a short film that explores a possible ever lasting imprint new technology will have on this world more in particular the impact holograms could have in the communication centre as well the impact virtual reality could have on a humans mental being and how real it could fell to someone, given the circumstance. So the underlying story of my film is that a man wakes up in a blank room completely unaware of his new surroundings and tries to make sense of them, after becoming increasing stressed he drops to his knees and tries to calm himself why this is happening a hologram appears and greets him, they then conversate but the man becomes more so frustrated as she speaks in enigma and doesnt reveal to him whats going on. Eventually she confronts him and asks him why he killed his family, in complete denial and shock the man becomes emotional and frustrated, the hologram then turns hostile on him and once he has got to his peak of stress he is pulled out to discover he had woken up in VR, as part of an experiment for a VR police interrogation program.

In this unit I have made vast progress from point A when this was only an initial idea to point B where its now a film. I have gone across a whole journey of researching, experimenting, networking with film professionals and making to get to where I am now. Personally Im really happy I got this opportunity to do my own project and just ‘go for it as an inexperienced film maker and see what happens. On the other hand, did my final turn out how I wanted it to, well not even close, I made many errors during production due to both some errors I had had in pre-production as well as on set. In post is where I had the bulk of my issues as things wouldnt work, footage filmed wrong to do things to and I didnt have some essential footage I needed due to my battery dying a lot on set and my actors wanting to go home after a long day of filming. I then also had a massive problem in post with exporting, so the film is nothing like what I wanted it to turn out like and I think that could make it stray away from the brief a tad as its not as effective in portraying the story and message I wanted it to tell.

Methods as well as various platforms have been essential to this projects progression and my personal learning. So I really do credit the sketch book as my main source of development as it allows me freedoms to write and draw whatever I so please on the pages provided to let my mind run lose and develop my idea. I also think net working through Ravensbourne with the students in higher courses than me or who have been through these courses have helped with my idea development as hearing everyones thoughts is interesting and their ideas combine with what I can think up helps inspire new scenes and thoughts. The blog has been really useful as well in terms of only making my work better as reflecting on everything Ive done every day helps me to spot out things in which I have made an error in and see what needs to be done to improve my work next time. I have also found that surprisingly my weekly plan in my project proposal has helped me leaps and bounds as I have followed it religiously the past seven weeks and always reflected in my blog to check I was on schedule to meet the work in which I had set out for myself in the weekly plan. This has kept me more on target than ever and has made me think about the bigger picture more and about what is essential to the project. Keeping on track has helped me a lot with developing my project and being able to develop further if I distributed my time rightly.

In terms of targets met I managed to make a short film, and create my hologram in my short film. In terms of whether it meet its requirements to portray an imprint of new tech which in my film is holographic communication and the effects of VR on a human, will be down to how well the film reads now that its had to be drastically cut back because of my export problem that turned into a nightmare and me having to cut a lot of footage because of various issues. I thought I explored the internet very well to squeeze as much information on what I wanted out of it as possible, I also think this research informed my film well even though the film isnt great. I didnt really add any new targets but I think personally I meet all the ones is set to some extent.

Reflecting on my FMP I think I have gained the most valuable thing - experience. I have got to go out on my own and create my own project based around anything I so pleased as long as it adheres to the brief touch. It is around this experience that my ideas have developed. I think that what I done at first was dream. I maximised my idea and developed it to near full potential, I had a perfect image in my heads of how my project was going to look, I had researched how my hologram was going to look and how my film was going to play out in terms of development I had everything down right, until shoot day and post. This I see as a vital turning point in my project where my idea development almost had to change after I had got my footage as I had to then develop the idea to the point where it was realistic rather than perfect as it became quite apparent that perfect wasnt going to happen when I ran into my long list of problems. This I think was the most vital idea development as I then had to turn an idea that I had dreamed up into a realistic film that could be shown as I couldnt magically get the extra footage that I really needed as my actor had gone off to a job in New York for the next month to so re-shoot was not an option. This is where I had to think on the spot and manipulate the story and the footage in the edit to get a half decent story out that still somewhat portrayed the idea that I wanted to portray. This type of development I found way more useful to my learning; reflecting on it now as it was a more real world situation and could definitely prove to benefit me in the future rather than if everything had just gone prefect. However, I do still think its a shame I couldnt get the film out that I wanted to as Ive had to change It due to my issues, but saying this Im grateful I have a film that I can show that has taught me more than I thought it would have.

Personally without sounding like a snob I have not found group tutorials useful what so ever as ever time people commented on what to do next I was already one step ahead and probably doing it already, so in that respect I thought they were a waste of time for me personally and I thought I could have been doing more productive things with that hour and a half every week. Saying this I thought one on ones with my tutors was useful as they were more in depth and personalised. But the most useful feedback I had that I see as being essential to my project was networking with other students in courses higher than me as they are currently doing their FMPs and are experienced in FMPs as theyve gone through college and are doing their university degrees now. Two people in particular however have helped me out more than I could say, Cole who works at the I.T. Desk has a degree in Motion Graphics and Can who is just finishing third year of Digital Film here. They have helped me with developing my ideas and have invested a lot of time into me giving me feedback and honest opinions on what I should be doing and what I need to do going forward. 

So next time I definitely need a crew what has become apparent to me that is if you try to do everything by yourself you will struggle very much. As on shoot day I was so stressed out where I was trying to direct, manage actors, help my mum do sound, move my brother so that the green screen didnt have white light shining thought the back of it, camera man/shoot the whole thing myself so the clapper board and move the boom mic all at the same time. Also in post turns out I need an editor as I cant edit to save my life, I can see the shots and I know what I want when editing I just cant get it myself as Im too impatient and get stressed out by editing, saying this I defiantly need to improve my editing skills. So as a general I need to arrange to a have a crew next time. A big thing I also need to take away is that I need to be more prepared for disaster because this time round I had disaster in the edit and if it wasnt for Can and the guys at I.T. my film may have not came through.

In terms of skills Ive developed for industry, I think Im a better director now as Im starting to pick up on my mistakes and critically evaluate what needs to happen and what weve done wrong. I also think Im learning how to manage people better which is essential for time management. In terms of technical skills, I am learning slowly how to edit although I do not like it and dont intend to be an editor but Im learning none the less.

Building on my skill set going forward I strive to become a better director and be able to make even better stories that can adhere to even harder briefs. I need to build on my editing and understanding of editing going forward as its essentially the end game of film making once youre on the editing stage. I need to be more prepared as well going forward as I need to be able to be more resilient to problems that I face and more relaxed when dealing with them as stressing doesnt help your mind set very well and can be harmful to the bigger picture of a project.

Next year I intend to continue film making, continue getting better at it, continue making mistake and hopefully become the best film maker I can be so that one day I can get to where I want to be.

[carinaconnor5]

Don’t Take it Personally!

If you are a family member of someone with a substance problem, you have probably heard suggestions that include distancing yourself, using tough love, or detaching until your loved one bottoms out and decides to change. On one hand, given how awful you feel (e.g., constantly angry, tired, scared), these recommendations can make a lot of sense. On the other hand, the odds are that you really want to help your loved one. And when you try to detach or distance yourself you still feel angry, tired and scared, maybe even more scared because now you have so little contact!

The reality is that as a family member you can have a tremendous impact on your loved one’s decision to change and family influence is one of the main reasons people seek treatment. Fortunately, there are strategies for helping that have been proven in studies to be very effective. Unfortunately, our culture and the traditional treatment world have been slow to embrace them so you may have not heard about them. Thankfully, they exist and you can learn them and have a positive impact.

The first step, however, is to gain perspective on your own feelings and the problems you are facing. Based on thousands of hours of listening to parents and family members over the years, we would like to validate some common feelings you may be having:

Disappointment that your family isn’t “normal,” that your dreams for your loved one (your child, your spouse, your sibling) and your family life elude you; more specifically disappointment that your loved one relapsed again, lied again, cut classes again, got fired again…

Anger that your loved one is putting you and your family through this, that he doesn’t seem to care about your suffering or appreciate what you are trying to do for him…

Fear that your loved one is blacking out, driving drunk, dropping out, ruining her life, maybe even going to accidently kill herself…

Discouragement when your loved one doesn’t change after a long heart-to-heart, a scary incident, a second time in rehab…

Shame over your loved one’s choices, the suspension from college/lost job, their rudeness or anger in public, their choice of friends, inappropriate clothes, not taking care of herself…

Sadness that you can’t talk to your loved one, that you don’t talk to your wife anymore because you only fight about your kid, that your loved one doesn’t seem to want a happy life that you always wanted him to have…

Guilt because you blame yourself for causing or contributing to the problem or at least for not preventing it. Wondering whether you give your loved one enough attention or too much, have been too demanding or not demanding enough into infinity. You wonder if your divorce, temper, or tendency to drink one too many drinks caused the problem…

There are two things to remember about these emotions: 1) it is totally reasonable and normal that you are feeling some or all of them, and 2) it is very helpful to moving forward constructively if you can acknowledge them to yourself, but not have them play out in your discussions with your loved one. If they are, they will likely drown out any other message you are delivering.

We list some of what you may be going through emotionally as almost a gruesome, “greatest hits” list of how hard this all can be. We also list them for another, totally practical reason as well: Your feelings are valid and are a direct result of the complicate, painful problem that you face in your family if your loved one is dependent on substances. At the same time they need to be managed if you are going to be successful in instigating change.

Strategy Session: Don’t Take It Personally – How can you keep that confusion and fog of emotion from knocking you off your course as you try and help your loved one make changes? We suggest that you try and understand going into any given situation that it has the potential to be emotional for you (often), and work to stay calm. A major help in this? Don’t take your loved ones decision to use substance personally. This may seem like a very odd way to interact with your loved one, but it is critical to keeping your balance and not sinking when the going gets tough, like when they are snippy, they are lying, they are late, they are doing any number of things you feel insulted/hurt/disregarded by.

We know this is difficult, and actually feels artificial and unnatural. “I should be able to speak my mind”, “I can’t let him get away with this crap”, “he needs to know how much he hurts our feelings”. All valid feelings … not necessarily valid strategies, and we are in the strategy business of trying to most effectively encourage positive change.

How are you supposed to not take it personally?

Try thinking about your child as if he were your neighbor’s child when he tells you about the unfortunate thing he did last night. Doing so might help you have a little distance as you think about how to respond.

Remember how you feel when someone gets upset with you. Do you ever feel defensive or shut down yourself?

Recall the last time you had a calm discussion with your loved one that went well, and the last time you were emotional and it went badly.

If you are dealing with your child or teenager, try and recognize that it’s your child’s job to rebel to some degree, to push to see how far she can go; when she finds the boundary, you want that boundary to be solid and safe.

Remember being young yourself. Most teenagers aren’t trying to mess with their parents. They are exploring, experimenting, figuring out who they are, and trying to find ways to feel good.

Try and shift your focus from what’s happening “to you” to what you can do.

Finally, take care of yourself. The more emotionally resilient your baseline and the more distress tolerance tools you have on hand, the less reactive you will be.

The hard part about this is … Depersonalizing your loved one behavior may feel unnatural. However, the most effective strategies for change depend on your not taking his behavior personally.

  The post Don’t Take it Personally! appeared first on The Center for Motivation & Change.

from https://motivationandchange.com/dont-take-personally/