#i think my granddad dying is going to hit my harder than my uncle dying did
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hum hum
#rambling#I'm concerned that my remaining grandfather is knocking on deaths doors#his health has never been great but he's been very active in his life#but both my dads parents memories have been having some trouble recently#by recently i mean starting maybe around 3 years ago#my granddad has had strokes he was an avid motorcyclist and had many accidents and i think hes actually been diagnosed with that dementia#caused by a stroke which is :(#and with his first son dying i can imagine its taken a toll#i only hope they move back to the uk soon so that if anything happens hopefully my nan can have a support group close#hey she might even get closer with my other nan as shes been alone for a while now#my other grandfather passed when i was in year 4? i think? so 2009-ish? idk#but the problem is my mums mother is not that emotional compared to my dads mum so i think she could push through it easier than my nan will#:|#i get most of my psyche from my mums side of the family unfortunately for everyone involved but hey#i think my granddad dying is going to hit my harder than my uncle dying did#oh news on that though it turns out he died basically instantly so he wouldnt have been in pain which is a small relief#part of his heart collapsed but there was no sign he tried to reach for his chest indicating it was instant although i do wonder what he was#thinking about in those last moments#i do keep thinking about his voice because i know many years in the future itll be hard if not impossible to recollect#oh man ive made myself cry lmao im not over it but im coping#anyway no ones reading this i just need to vent a bit#and whilst i love my friends im not sure i could be this open with them in person anyway
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