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imma-lil-teapot · 5 years ago

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TMNT 2003/2k3 Headcanon: Crying - (Leonardo)

Feel free to scroll past this first part if you’re not interested in my silly rambling and nonsense. I won’t mind. Promise. ;)

Okey-dokey then, with the global epidemic that is the Coronavirus well in action and most of the world stuck in lockdown (starting this Friday for us too), felt like getting the ‘ol creative juices flowing with a little headcanon-y thingy in preparation for -possibly- more fandom writings to keep myself busy during the house arrest (well... it kinda is!) and hopefully my mind off all the bad news. :(

Also, this is totally my first one on the blog! WOOT! Please bear in mind that I’m SUPER rusty! Haven’t written in ages so there are bound to be typos and all matter of general errors scattered throughout the post. Don’t pet them! They bite!

Anyhoo~ Despite attempting to create and share with the goal in mind to uplift spirits, I decided to start on a rather upsetting subject (PLEASE DON’T LEAVE! They end on happy notes ;) ) because, Imma just come and say it, I enjoy seeing my favourite characters shed tears (not for just any old reason -their personality plays a huge role in this- and CERTAINLY not for sadistic reasons, land sakes no! But... well, you’ll see~ ;) ) It makes me all gooey and fuzzy inside to see them display such raw emotion and I just wanna leap into the TV screen to hug and console them. I dunno why. Maybe I’m nuts like that. (Remembers Raph crying at the farm when Leo was badly injured and wishes she could just hug them all and take away the pain) Oh well, if you enjoy visualizing the same, then *High Fives*. :)

So yeah, if you read the title, you’ll know this is based on the 2003/2k3 series (my favs). Hope you all enjoy~ :D Grab tissues cause sad turts ahead! :’(

Jibber jabber stops here~

TURTLES~

LEONARDO - You are here

RAPHAEL

DONATELLO - Coming soon

MICHELANGELO - Coming soon

WARNING(S): Because of the subject, Angst and Hurt/Comfort will be present.

RATING: G (General)

WORD COUNT: Don’t have the foggiest.

ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD:

And apparently gifs too, so without further ado: (Completely unintentional but in actuality, totally intentional rhyming)...

TO THE HEADCANONS~~~~

~LEONARDO~

-- It’s no easy feat to make the leader in blue turn on the waterworks. Leo won’t cry for any old reason. It’s not because he has no emotions, far from it, but being the leader of a small ninja clan -who happen to be family as well- is no easy task in itself: he has a lot on his young shoulders and deals with many issues on a daily basis few his age ever have to.

-- It’s because of these reasons that Leo doesn’t cry often. One of the lesser likely to out of the four brothers. But when he does, it’s an emotionally distressing sight to behold.

-- Leo tends to cry whenever those closest to him -namely his brothers, his father/master and truest friends- are severely injured or are in a dire situation. Remember his angry/moody arc? The thought of losing any of them causes him great pain and distress, especially if he were the cause of any of it, and when that happens, he can’t stop the dampness that forms around his eyes and soaks into his mask.

-- He’s not fond of crying, especially in front of others, even though he fully comprehends its normalcy. He feels he needs to be everyone’s rock, their fortress of physical and emotional stability to turn to for strength when things get rough... So when the tears start to fall, he feels he can’t show them, can’t allow them to watch him crumble under the gripling weight of helplessness and anguish.

-- He frantically wipes at his eyes and desperately attempts not to sniffle, but it’s a hopeless battle, for his tears are already a steady stream.

-- He’ll try to hide when possible, usually retreating to his room to allow the worst of the emotions to spill over before returning to the others... Though he may be in there a while: when Leo lets his emotions go, it can be just as powerful as his red-banded brother’s rage.

-- He spares no time in making sure the coast is clear for the tears are already streaming by the time he reaches his futon, and there’s no stopping them now as he lets himself drop to his knees, only halfway onto the mattress. He purposefully leaves the room unlit, cloaking his form in the darkness.

-- He sniffs a few times as he shuffles up against the wall, sitting upright against it, bringing his legs up and hugging them loosely and droops his head against a single knee pad.

-- His voice desperately wishes to escape. To express its misery. But he won’t allow it to, often placing one hand over his face in a bid to quell the sadness and remain silent in the battle against his own inner turmoil. He refuses to let anyone see him in that state of utter sorrow and vulnerability.

-- He whimpers ever so slightly and coughs a few times as breathing becomes difficult. He knows this episode won’t be over any time soon. Fortunately, he keeps some tissues next to his bed for such rare occasions and tries not to blow too loudly. He thinks back to the last time he cried so hard... It’s been a while. It felt like a build up.

-- Time has been forgotten as he’s lost in deep thought. By the time he slips a hand across his eyes, only the material of his mask is still slightly damp. He clears his nostrils a couple of times before considering whether he was ready to return to his family. He’d of course straighten up his bedding beforehand, and would also require a trip to the bathroom to wash his face. A true ninja leaves no evidence.

-- Leo tries to put the horrifying images out of head before leaving his quarters. He doesn’t wish to be weighed down again and thus maybe cause his emotions to come out a second time. He knew someone would catch on that time. Instead, he holds his head up high, focusing on the there and now to carry him forward.

BONUS EXTRA~

-- Failure is also one of his greatest foes. Leo despises it, but not in the irrational sense; he fully comprehends that in order to grow, one has to lose in order to learn and thus, succeed in turn, and while it can frustrate him when he’s unsuccessful at mastering a martial arts technique for example, he understanders it’s part of the process and that no one’s perfect.

-- It’s when his slipups could spell casualties or death to his family and/or friends is when it weighs down on him like a boulder strapped to his shell.

-- A really big one.

-- And it hurts. So much so that it causes him to become despondent and often teary-eyed when no one’s looking.

-- Boi Bloo might also cry from especially sad movie scenes. He gets seriously into the story, and when the scene is just right -perfect music, perfect timing etc.- you may just catch Fearless with watery eyes.

-- He can’t help it. After all, he’s a leader, and very caring and kind-hearted individual, so movies showing children or anyone/anything defenceless getting hurt has him not only visibly upset, but also angry at the cause. He’s a softie like that.

-- He won’t have a meltdown, of course, but the tears are definitely there. Just don’t tease him too much; he’s easily embarrassed by it. ;)

BONUS EXTRA EXTRA FEMALE READER OR S/O EDITION~ (Can also use an OC/FC insert if you wish, up to you)

You had figured something was up by the time you’d finished greeting everyone in the Splinterson household except for the Turtle you’d long to see most and he hadn’t made his presence yet known.

The idea that he must’ve been practicing or meditating swiftly vanished when Mikey told you he’d been in his room in the dark for the past few hours. “The guy hardly ever naps, and even so, never this long.” He’d told you. “I dunno, (Y/N), we were about to check on ‘im when you arrived, but maybe you should be the one to. Think he’d really appreciate it.” And there was absolutely no argument from your side as you were already making your way up to the room.

You didn’t know what to expect as you neared the doorway. Could he possibly still just be sleeping? Meditating in the dark instead of his usual spot by the training area? Or... was he sick? The latter now had you concerned and you picked up your pace... Only to pause mid step when an unmistakable sound reached your ears: a sniffle.

Had it come from within his room? It was the only logical explanation as everyone else was downstairs. You were truly perturbed now as you stood outside the doorway and called out the ‘eldest’ Turtle’s name.

There was some shuffling to be heard but you were unable to tell for sure what he was doing -probably trying to neaten up his bed- “(Y/N)? Just a second, okay?” he responded in a rather awkward verging on frantic tone, and you were certain you heard another sniffle escape him.

That, along with the way he’d replied really didn’t help to put your mind at ease. “Leo, are you alright?” Nor was the pitch blackness in which he remained concealed in.

“Yeah, just... l-looking for something.” There was some more shuffling as if to prove his point, but you were having none of it.

“Then maybe this,” you began, turning around to flick the light switch, “will help?”

“No! Wait!” But it was a split second too late for as soon the brightness illuminated the entire room, you had caught the telltale signs of an emotional meltdown in progress plastered on his face before he quickly turned away and briskly wiped an arm across his face, attempting to hide the shame... or perhaps embarrassment?

“Leo...?” your heart and voice softened, “Hey, what’s wrong?” You automatically walked to him, closing the gap he was now trying to form.

“Nothing,” he lied, and acknowledged it was a fruitless attempt but still couldn’t stop himself. Autopilot panic mode was enabled now. “It’s nothing.”

Unfortunately for him, autopilot mother hen mode was activated for you as you reached with both hands to his carapace and shoulder, gently turning him to face you. “I can see that it’s something.” Your words were gentle, and you wanted nothing more than to take away his pain. “Look at me, Honey.” His body was turned but his head remained to the side. It was clear he didn’t want his obvious distress on display, even to you. “Please, Leo?” You tried again, and slowly but surely, his eyes met yours, and you felt your heart sink further.

The fabric of his mask was wet and eyes were still red with fresh tears that threatened to fall. He appeared so broken and helpless as he stared at you, and even though he uttered no words, you could practically hear him despairingly ask “Is this what you wanted? To see me at my lowest?” from his expression alone.

Never had you witnessed the leader of this band of mutant brothers cry. At times you had wondered if he ever did, and yet here he was; the incredible pillar of strength and dignity you had come to know and adore, in tears and so dejected that you couldn’t stop your own eyes from becoming damp the more you gazed at him. “Oh, Sweety...” You whispered as you felt your soul shatter. It was too much to bear. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, one around the midsection and the other over his shoulder, and buried your face into his leathery neck, offering every ounce of comfort you could muster.

It didn’t take him long at all to sink into the embrace and return the action. Beyond the point of concerning himself with showing the pain he felt -or the wetness now soaking into your shoulder when he placed his forehead against it- he sniffed and finally allowed the tears to fall once again as fresh waves of emotion surged throughout his body.

And this time, he couldn’t keep the whimpering to himself.

“Shh~ It’s okay, it’s okay,” you soothed, lightly patting and rubbing along the scutes of his shell as he weakly sobbed, finally letting go of all the sadness that gripped him.

You weren’t even aware of what was wrong, and you most likely wouldn’t find out til later once he calmed down, but right now, he just needed you to hold him. Hold him until the hurt was gone... And so you would.

AND THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

ALL THE FEELS!! I EMBARRASS!!

OMGosh, this turned into a monster! The mother of all HCs!! :O No seriously, this wasn’t meant to be this long! I was suppose to squish all four into one itty bitty little post, but then it just grew... and grew... and GREW! Personally, I blame the Reader Bonus but I’d be damned if I didn’t enjoy writing it! ;P You guys here on Tumblr got me slightly addicted to them and have wanted to attempt some myself so... Anyhoo~ I can’t really say if I’m entirely content with the whole thing, I dunno. I feel some parts are better than others (writing style-wise) but yeah, I really need to get back into the swing of things...

Speaking of which, I DO plan on adding my two cents on the other bois as well, but judging by how this one turned out, they’ll most likely all be this length, more or less, so each Turt will get his own post so I can really jot down those details with all the freedom in the world! That being said, I can’t say when they’ll be added but hopefully soon-ish. :) Raph's next on the list!

Thank you all so much for the read and hope you enjoyed~ :D

~Drag0n Mistr3ss’ Random Fandoms*

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stranger-who-writes-fiction · 4 years ago

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So 5x18...

...Well hot d*mn.

Man when Supergirl fires on all cylinders...HOO BOY.

Case in point: *gestures to all of 5x18*

To be clear: I liked this one.

A WHOLE LOT.

Not that I disliked 5x17, necessarily. It’s just that 5x18 was more... Entertaining? ...I dunno. I dunno how to explain it.

...Okay yes I do and that explanation is: Someone remarked on Kara’s use of language and Kara overcompensated on the ‘NOooOOooOO I’m totally 100% normal!’ AND there was a musical quote AND it was WHILE TEAMING UP WITH ALEX TO FOLLOW A LEAD.

But I’m getting ahead of myself let’s backtrack...

TO THE TOWER! WITH ALEX! NIA! KARA! AND M’GAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!

June Foray voice: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?!?!?!

I know I’m not the first person to make that reference but it’s always fitting and, for real, recurring character status WHEN. (I mean. Obviously I would prefer series regular but that feels like a big ask considering that all future TV production is...uh. Ah. Erm....

...Up in the air. At the moment.)

And then we check in with the Luthors and Non Nocere isn’t working???

I am shocked! Shocked, I say!

And then we’ve got Obsidian doing something ill-advised which is basically the company’s MO at this point but KELLY AND WILLIAM ARE ON THE CASE REGARDLESS.

(So that’s kinda the one thing I’m sad about re: the Crisis reset; Andrea’s character development. But she’s sticking around for next season so I’m not too upset that she remains...kinda...one note for now.)

And THEN the library scene.

It was so gooooood.

Then Leviathan and okay. Alright. Okay. Huge points in this episode’s favor: Rama Khan feels like a far more significant threat. And I feel like 80% of that is the fact that they just let him wear normal clothes. Thank you, show. Thank. You.

Also the rock effects were way better in this episode because they weren’t footing the bill for a giant crossover episode this time around

I am a little confused, though, by what has and has not happened with regards to Rama Khan on Earth Prime. Did the pre-Crisis stuff...happen? The dialogue...kinda made it hard to decide one way or the other. ‘He hasn’t been seen on this Earth for 100s of years’ but then also, ‘a chilly place you know quite well.’ So...he...did go to the Fortress. And fight Kara? But...all that stuff before Crisis...???

...Not gonna bother with that right now.

POINT IS...Leviathan is finally like...invested in killing Supergirl* and menacing in a very real way which both raises the stakes and makes it personal and that’s way more interesting than ‘nebulous evil organization that must be stopped.’

*I know they kinda sorta already did the whole, ‘let’s kill the Kryptonian!’ and invaded the Fortress but I don’t know what to tell ya, it was just lackluster.

J’ONN AND M’GAAAAAANNNNN

I am firmly in camp: I don’t care if they’re never green again I love seeing them in the super suits with their human faces IT’S GREAT.

Love that Nia’s snoring interrupts the moment.

Also love the deck of Rama Khan playing cards, that must’ve been a fun project for the graphic designers.

Then we’ve got William and Kara at CatCo and it’s baked goods! A hilarious line delivery by Staz! A ridiculous fabrication involving a shy, violent cat!

...Now I want Alex to actually own a shy, violent cat!

“Cats love me, for some reason.” “Of course they do.”

Side note: Love Kara’s blazer.

And then it’s ALIEEEEEENS TO THE RESCUE!

WHAT A TEAM UP, FOLKS.

We love to see it.

The interrogation scene is good n’ tense and ramps up to a very impressive showdown in the DEO (but BEFORE the sparks really start flying we get that rad shot of Kara leaping through the window and doing the superhero landing and it’s just

Perfection.)

Also perfect? Lex playing a game of transmatter pickle with the prisoners.

Then we jump back to the DEO where things are not going well!

Like, really really bad!

But J’onn and M’gann save the day! If not the building!

RIP DEO. 2016-2020

Obituary: The DEO headquarters is survived by its elder sibling, the DEO desert base.

Look none of the favs work there anymore save for Kara and Brainy and they’re both gonna be better off working freelance for J’onn but I do expect Brainy to at least pick up some additional cash by working as a Lyft driver next season.

Me, watching the characters struggle to make it in the gig economy: I feel so seen.

The final portion of the episode is just ALL ACTING and I must say...good stuff.

Like. This cast, man. They take the plot points I’ve been ‘meh’ about all season and they turn in some stellar performances and suddenly I’m like STANDING OVATION, CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHERE THIS GOES.

Also, reason #342 I love Jon Cryer’s Lex: that scene with Lena.

Terrifying.

Full disclosure: I went in to this episode fully prepared to be really annoyed with whatever was going to happen with Lena and I still don’t...love the trajectory of this season, being so tied up in her personal drama but.

But.

Katie McGrath’s performance...went an awful long way here. In making this...not as bad as it could have been.

Like tearfully admitting she was hurt? And that hurt was the basis of all the nonsense she pulled? Finally owning up to the fact that this was never truly about the greater good but that it was all rooted in some personal issues and OUTRIGHT STATING SHE WAS BEHAVING LIKE A VILLAIN????

I am. Extremely impressed.

EVEN MORE IMPRESSIVE THOUGH: Kara remaining distant both physically and emotionally throughout that scene! Not in like, a cold uncaring way, but in a, ‘I have emotions and I have a right to feel them and set boundaries in regards to my trusting you right now given all that has transpired’ kind of way.

GOOD. YES. GOOD.

(Lex’s outburst has that kind of same Nice Guy undertone--albeit more pronounced and rage-y--as Lena’s in the Fortress. Like, ‘I supported you and you still rejected my plot to take over the world’ and ‘I was kind to you and you still messed up my mind control’ which...I dunno I might just be digging in too deep here in order to further justify the character turn but I think Cryer’s performance regardless is a really sobering wake up call for Lena, different than Lex stuff we’ve seen before. It’s close and intense and uncomfortable in a way that really sells the motivation.)

“You’re a monster...but that doesn’t mean I have to be one too.”

Wow. Might be...the first time I’ve liked Lena all season.

...whispers: might be the first time I’ve liked her ever at all

For real: credit where it’s due, that was an excellent line read.

*insert applause here*

CUT TO ADORABLE J’ONN AND M’GANN MOMENT

D’aaaawwwwwwwwww

But, look, it’s a little undermined by the fact that they both gotta try and embrace in those bulky super suits, I’m sorry, it’s true

...Maybe it’s more endearing that way?

HEY remember how I foolishly assumed that the now-unemployed Alex would simply continue to work with J’onn in an investigative capacity and, ya know, NOT jump straight back into costumed badassery?

HA. HAHA HAHAAAA.

Those leaked set photos make sense now.

OH NO, WILLIAM!

Real glad Staz confirmed he’s returning. Otherwise I would not be able to DEAL WITH THE STRESS.

I already talked a little bit about the loft scene but some additional points! Beautiful lighting. Wonderful score. Excellent performances all around.

A truly great end to a truly great episode.

Like, it makes me retroactively sad, that we’re only getting 5x19, as opposed to 5x19 and 5x20 because I wish that the crew/writers/actors had a little more space to let all of this good work they’ve done settle and breathe.

(But also, it was good that they stopped production, from a safety standpoint, so. Can’t be too upset.)

And, regardless of how the next episode goes down (b/c I’m gonna be real, SG always does really great set-ups for their season finales and then kinda...rushes to the finish line and that can only be further exacerbated in this particular case) I’m just really impressed with this effort here.

...but also LET’S TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE SOME WILD GUESSES. Specifically, what is Alex’s vigilante name gonna be???

...

Alright I generally try to avoid addressing specific fandom complaints in these things b/c I generally try to avoid the fandom itself but of course some stuff has already leaked through all of my blocks/muting so:

‘Lena didn’t apologize!’ The words ‘I’m sorry’ were not said, sure, but 1.) season’s not over and 2.) for Lena, admitting she was wrong is huge. HUUUUUUUGE. It’s solid character growth and I really wish various subsets of fandom would recognize that it’s not fun, when fans hold on to negative stuff from characters’ past and refuse to acknowledge that the characters have changed.

‘Brainy should have seen this coming!’ This one is kind of more down to personal preference I guess but I feel like they’ve established that Brainy’s got a bit of a blindspot due to his feelings about his friends, so I don’t take this as a knock against his intelligence so much as him being stretched fairly thin because he’s playing all sides, and worried about the people he loves. YMMV, though.

All the ‘fix-it’ stuff re: the last scene, by making Kara immediately forgive Lena. Lose me with that nonsense, bleh.

#SG post #long post #supergirl spoilers #5x18 spoilers

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goldenhour-goldenboy · 5 years ago

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I love the ask you did with William and his s/o and Benny, would you be up for more of those? I really loved that request. Do you have anymore hcs on it?

Aww, I glad you like them! I don’t have them ready, stashed somewhere secret but I am more than happy to write some William + S/O feat. Benny because it’s one of my fav combos :D I didn’t do it in traditional hc style but more like snippets, like I did last time. I really love this format, it’s like getting a glimpse into a situation :)

William and You and Benny (basically), the second

“No, no, no - tell me again!” You laugh, leaning back against Will’s chest as he adjusts the blanket wrapped around you two - or rather himself, with you wrapped up in his arms. “I always thought he got that scar on his forehead when he was in a car accident.”

“No, that’s the one on his back.” Benny corrects you, poking the logs with a branch. They crack yet again and the wind carries a welcoming flash of warmth in your direction. You settle even more against Will’s chest, being content and kept warm with his heat radiating through your body from his the back and the fire doing it’s job from the front.

“No, he - You told me it was from the windshield!”

“Got a lot of scars.” Will sends you a half hearted shrug, an embarrassed smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Maybe I got them confused.”

“Bull-shit.” You turn back to Benny who grins to you over the fire, a satisfying look on his face from exposing his brother’s little secret like that as the flames reflect in his eyes. “I can’t believe you just ran into a glass door. Always thought that only happens in movies.”

Will grumbles something incoherent into your hair, his cheek pressed against the top of your head. His beard slightly scratches over your scalp but you don’t mind, you’re used to the feeling by now.

“No, it also happens in the Miller household.”

“I was eleven … ” Will tries to defend himself weakly.

“You were reading and didn’t watch where you were going. Always had your nose stuck in some book, you tiny little nerd.” Ben shoots back immediately. A pine cone goes flying to Ben’s direction and he dodges it easily. “Hey!”

“Who walks and reads at the same time?” You wonder but none of them seems to hear you.

“It was a letter, not a book!”

“A letter?” Both you and Benny exclaim at the same time, neither of you knowing that tiny little detail before.

You turn to give Will a surprised look. “What - like a love letter?”

The blush creeping up on Will’s neck is answer enough and now Ben’s howling with laughter. Will hurls another pine cone at him and this time it bounces off of Benny’s chest. “I was eleven!”

“Do you want me to get started on the garlic and the onions?”

“No, put do the meat first, please.“ You shuffle around the kitchen, grabbing a few small cucumbers from the bowl on the counter before returning to your place at the side with a chopping board. “It’s in the fridge, lower cabinet.”

“I know.” Ben chuckles and you forget how often he has been helping in the kitchen and cooking with you. Will, on the other side of the island is concentrated on shuffling a stack of cards, been that for the last 10 minutes now. Usually it would be him cooking and Benny watching but this evening the cards are, literally, turned.

“Is this your card?”

You barely glance up to shake your head, yet again. “Nope.”

Will heaves a frustrated sigh and begins to shuffle the cards yet again. He’s been trying to get either yours or Benny’s guess right and so far, he has gloriously failed.

“I think you need to go back to magic school, Will.”

“I think you need to shut your mouth and concentrate on the meat.” Will mumbles back at his brother before moving around the counter to hold out the flared out cards in Ben’s direction. “Pick a card.”

“I know.” Benny draws a card, holds it up in a dramatic fashion before stacking it back into the rest.

“Did you remember your card?”

“Yes, William.” You snort at Ben’s voice taking on a high pitch. “We’ve done this the whole night. Do you remember?”

“Let the man shuffle his cards in peace, Benjamin.”

You have exactly one minute of quiet in the kitchen, where Benny’s stirring the pan, you continue chopping and William is thoroughly mixing his deck of cards, leaning against the counter. It could’ve been nice, really, but then Will draws one card and holds it up for you and Benny to see. You’re suddenly more interested in the cucumbers.

“Is that your card?”

“Yes!”

“Really?” William turns the card around in disbelief and now you have to look up too.

“Yes, that’s my card! King of hearts.” Ben’s voice is stern and honest but you’re not the only one that’s spotting the faint glimmer in his eyes. Will lowers the card in disappointment.

“Ben, is that your card?”

Now there’s a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “No.”

Sometimes you forget, though. You forget, this isn’t reality, this isn’t normal and before you know it Will’s drawer in your bedroom is empty again, his duffle bag and a backpack sitting on your bed. His hair is cropped short as he steps out of the bathroom, already dressed in his uniform and your heart clenches with the heavy heartache that comes with saying goodbye. It’s a last long hug at the door for both of the Miller boys and a kiss that you don’t want to end, fighting back tears as you watch Ben and Will getting in the car and you have to force yourself to lift your hand as a wave goodbye as they pull out the driveway.

The house without Will seems empty, the bed too big without his body dipping the side of the mattress in his direction slightly. Days become weeks, weeks become months and though it’s not the first time Will’s gone again, you have to keep reminding yourself almost daily he’ll be coming back, he’s fine, he’ll be coming back.

When the phone rings you’re excited, almost dropping a bowl you’re drying off as you rush to pick up the call. The “Hello?” you breath out gets almost caught in your throat from how fast you spit it out and it’s a wonder the other person on the line understands you at all.

“Y/N?” It’s not Will - it’s Ben. The excitement that rushed through your body seconds ago turns to ice. “Hello? Y/N, are you there?”

It takes too many hours for you to get to the foreign country Will and Ben flew out to weeks ago, too many hours trapped on a plane, only being able to repeat Ben’s few words in your head. “He’s been wounded, shot – Y/N, it’s bad, it’s really bad.” His hollow voice still echoes through your skull as you land and hail a cab. It takes too long to go to the hospital. “It’s really really bad.” You walk through cold and sterile hallways, the only familiarity being the burning scent of anti bacteria scrub. “They say you should come.” The hallway spits you into an more open waiting area and suddenly there’s Ben. A dry sob escapes your lips before you know it.

“Ben?”

You’re met with red eyes, hallow cheeks. Ben’s head snaps up so fast at the sound of your voice, eyes wild with fear and terror you almost flinch back but his expression immediately softens as he sees you, clutching your bag to your chest and crying - crying, crying, crying. You’ve held the tears back the whole time, didn’t cry when you got the call, didn’t cry on the plane but seeing Ben just as you unraveled is the last straw. Suddenly there’s an arm around you and you sob into Ben’s chest, body shaking and fighting for a breath that won’t make it to your lungs.

“Oh my God, Y/N –”

You choke and cling to him, desperate to feel some sort of comfort but Ben’s arms fails it’s magic. Instead Ben falter’s as well, gripping you just as tightly and it feels like you stay like that for forever, standing in the middle of the waiting room, heart beating hard against your ribcage, praying for the same man that fights for his life just a couple of doors down.

“I can’t look! Oh no, nonono. I can’t watch it!”

“Yes, you can!” Benny next to you doesn’t sound convinced either as you scoot further back from the screen as if bringing some distance between you and the TV might change any plot that’s already unwrapping before you. The blanket’s being drawn higher and higher in an desperate attempt to cover your eyes, yet you’re still too curious to wait and see what happens next.

“Ben, if she dies I’m gonna vomit.”

“No ones gonna vomit.” Will grumbles and you feel the vibrations rattle through his chest where you’re currently curling your face into. Though his voice is steady and he sports an unmoved mask with his eyes glued to the television you can tell his arm isn’t quite as relaxed around you as usually and there’s a certain lack of his finger trailing up and down your skin. “If anyone of you vomits I’ll throw you out myself.”

You shoot him an amused look.

“Yes, even you, my Love.”

The episode of Throne’s continues to play in front of you, all of your focus shifting back to the screen but it’s not for long until banter ensures again. You’re used to it by now, all of you squished on your tiny couch, both of Ben and you barely holding back on the comments because your hearts just clench every episode and you need to voice your emotions before either of you collapse of a heart attack. Will, on the other hand sits through each episode with a tense focus, body flexed as if he’s the one fighting for his life and at times holding you so tightly, you need to wiggle in his arms a bit before he relaxes them enough for you to take a deep breath as another plot twist is revealed.

A dreamy look glosses over Ben’s feature as Sansa appears on screen again and you can’t keep the grin to yourself as you nudge him teasingly with your foot. “Benny-Boy … ”

“I’d die for her.” It’s a short, ernest statement. Ben’s voice is dead serious, his expression so sincere you have to laugh into your blanket. “No, really. I’d kill Ramsay and then steal a horse and we’d live happily ever after.”

“You’d die of pneumonia in the first week.” Will muses as he shifts behind you slightly.

“I would not!” There’s a sheepish grin spreading on Ben’s face and he starts to wiggle his eyebrows. “I’d keep her warm and cozy just fine.”

“She’d hop off your horse the second you’re in the clear and then probably friend zone you forever.” You throw in your own plot. “And then die of pneumonia.”

There’s another foot being kicked in your direction but you pull up your legs just in time to dodge it and it’s Will who feels the pain, sending his brother a warning glare. “Try that again and I’ll throw your ass out like the Hound.”

#william miller #benny miller #triple frontier #triple frontier imagine #william ironhead miller #william ironhead miller imagine #william miller imagine #william miller x reader #william ironhead miller x reader

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0writerchick0 · 7 years ago

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Questions I can’t always answer about GoT

I got tagged by the @greedisgreen. Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond!

Do you watch the episodes when they air? Yes, though after this latest season that will probably change.

How often do you rewatch it? That depends. If it’s seasons 1-4, at least monthly. Anything past that, I only rewatch when I’m about to make a point...

Do you rewatch the previous episode before the next one airs? Nope

Do you eat anything while watching? I love food so probably. It all depends on my mood at the time. It’s almost a given that I’ll be having a drink though.

Favourite scene:Oh Greed, I agree with the sexposition scene. That’s a fav I revisit too much. BUT! I’d have to say that my favorite so far is when Sansa and Petyr are talking and looking out at one of his ships. He looks so goddamned genuine AND shifty in the same damn scene. It’s how I love him. His smile at just being with her. The disappointment when she says “it might be better to wait,” the conviction when he says “I hope you know that I’m your friend, Sansa.” The fucking head-tilt before he kisses the back of her hand and the hopeful grin when he says, “We’ll speak again when I return.” The deep breath she takes when he walks away. OH MA GAW! That particular season 3 scene does me in every damn time and whenever I’m in the mood to fantasize about a man with depth I watch that one.

One character that everyone seems to like that you don’t care much for: Arya.... Like don’t get me wrong, I respect her for who she is and what she brings to the table...but she’s a stone cold murderer and it annoys the fuck out of me when people are all like “aww yeah baby! her and sansa are tight! Stark Siblings Unite!” I wretch a little and shake my head. Girl’s broken (aren’t they all) and if people just respected and loved her for being the level of crazy she is, I’d be fine. But they keep trying to shoe-horn her into being the perfect sis and I think that works in fun fanfic (like mine LOL) but in canon where they can’t stand each other and Arya lacks the ability to connect to others (as evidenced by her interaction with Hot Pie upon her return to Westeros) it doesn’t fit to me and I find myself liking her less the more she’s pushed on me LOL.

Your favourite 3 pairings: Petyr/Sansa, Cersei/Jamie, Oberyn/Ellaria

One character you wish got more appreciation: obviously Petyr Baelish but if I can’t pick him then I would go with Stannis Baratheon -- not that he’s my fav from the show, but there’s a whole backstory to him that the books conveyed that the show did not.

Fanfic or nah? Um...ALL THE FANFIC

Favourite quote: You could turn King's Landing upside down and not find a single man with a mockingbird sewn over his heart but that does not mean I am friendless.

Do you avoid spoilers? Nope -- anyone who reads my fanfic know’s I’m not about outcome, but instead the journey

Favourite house words: I’m actually all for Martell for this one: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

One character you’d bring back from the dead: Petyr Baelish, obvs....

One character you’d kill, or kill sooner that they were killed: Ramsay. Ramsay. Ramsay. Ramsay. This fucker should have died before Roose in S4. So much plot armor I wanted to scream.

Direwolves or dragons? Direwolves -- easier to cuddle with and they can warm your bed.

Which was more satisfying: Ramsay dying or Joffrey dying? Ramsay. Hands down. Not only because I felt he was sicker what with being a rapist and all...but also because Sansa got to kill him directly. It was way more satisfying to me as a viewer.

Wildlings or the Dothraki? Dothraki.

Favourite Lannister?Tywin. I know that the popular answer is Tyrion and he’s great, but Tywin’s mind was unparalleled.

Favourite Stark? Lyanna -- a tomboy knew Robert was bad juju and caught the eye of someone who garnered the respect of Barriston Selmy.

Would you rather be able to be resurrected anytime, but gain scars and all like Beric, or become a faceless man? Faceless man -- fuck family ;-) lolol.

Would you rather have the rebellion tv show or the conquest tv show? I prefer a rebellion tv show -- conquest is boring to me. It’s like “oo yay we just took over this land, but rather than actually staying put and running this land, lets run off to another land and take that over too because we think we’re such good rulers as evidenced by the land we took before that is now crumbling over a lack of rule....” Conquest feels like entitlement to me. Rebellion feels righteous. That’s just my feeling, I recognize that not everyone agrees with me and I’m not trying to make internet waves, just answer the question.

I tag: @fara-daze @janedethr @catladyofthecanals and anyone else who wants to do it.

#GoT #answers #taggy thingy

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bookgeekgrrl · 7 years ago

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Sunday reading recap (30-Jul-2017)

Since I had an extra day off, you’d think I’d get more reading done but nope -- I actually watched some TV (new Voltron episodes!) and played PC games. Plus the last book on this list was so good, I kind of had to take a day or so before I read anything else.

miscellaneous shorter fanfic

The Secret Casebook of Simon Feximal (KJ Charles) - in prep for a new release that was set in the same universe, I did a reread of this. Honestly, I could probably just subsist on constant rereads of all of KJ’s books. They are so rich and lovely even when they are breaking your heart. But they also make sure to put your heart back together again.

"He was a member of the Diogenes Club, to which he had been nominated by one of his more peculiar acquaintances, a Government man whose intellectual capacity was matched only by his physical corpulence." [I see what you did there and I like it so much.]

"Occasionally, when one looks into the pit, the pit looks back. Sometimes it winks."

Spectred Isle (Green Men #1, KJ Charles) - I feel spoiled having two fav authors release two highly anticipated books in concurrent weeks! Every single thing in this book was a marvel and a delight and I loved it so much. I literally could not think of starting a new book right away.

First off, I fucking LOVE the title. Very clever and so so apt.

The world building (no surprise) is detailed and magnificent and fascinating. In very very high level, broad strokes it reminded me of Rivers of London, which as far as I am concerned is a good thing -- I love the idea of ancient magic tied to the land and caring fuck all about modernization but still finding a way to work it. But only in the very broadest terms - it would be wrong to say that they are much the same. That said, if you like RoL, I think you’d really like this series too.

These characters! These two devastatingly lonely, aching and broken men who discover that their jagged edges fit perfectly and can mend one another. MY ENTIRE FUCKING HEART.

"He was...taken with him, that was the term for it. Intrigued. Charmed, even. He liked Saul very much; he trusted him; he valued his friendship, delighted in his company, wanted to talk to him, ached for his body, needed the smile in those dark eyes to remind him why he bothered to keep on. Randolph had a feeling that “taken with” wasn’t actually the term for it at all." [Well, Randolph, you are certainly not fucking wrong.]

"And there they were, four chaps at home in their shared lodgings, passing a few idle hours in companionable quiet. Saul was disgraced, Barney and Max were apparently monsters, God knew what Sam might be; and it seemed that none of those things mattered. It was trivial, casual, quite unremarkable, and the most wonderful afternoon Saul had spent in years." FOUND FAMILY YES OH MY GODDESS JUST FUCK ME RIGHT THE FUCK UP!

Fav book of the week: well, duh. I mean, I had to take a book vacation afterwards. That hardly ever happens. Also I really really wanted to immediately just go back to the beginning and reread and that also almost never happens. I’m trying to give it at least a month before I reread if only because I have so much other stuff in my TBR queue.

#green men series #kj charles #spectred isle #sunday reading recap #bookgeekgrrl's reading habits

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mdwatchestv · 7 years ago

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American Gods 1x05: Something to Believe In

After last week's dive into the life and times of Laura Moon, this week's American Gods returned to business as usual. Well as usual as things get on this show. This week once again begins with a Coming to America (easily one of my fav parts of the show) this time journeying back thousands of years to the Siberian Land Bridge migration. Rendered in striking animation the story follows a leader/priestess Atsula as she guides her people across the barren ice towards (hopefully) a better life. Nunyunnini, the tribes god represented by a mammoth skull, tells Atsula what she must do to secure her people's future, although it comes at a terrible price for both. Atsula sacrifices herself to the buffalo god (who looked very much like our friend the flaming eyed white buffalo) of the tribe occupying the land that will one day be called America. While the children of Atsula's tribe will live on, the memory of Nunyunnini is forgotten and the god dies. Besides stunning visuals, this scene also offered some interesting thematic tie ins for the series as a whole. We have been introduced to many gods, both new and old, whose primary concern seems to be garnering power by any means necessary. Although they are obsessed with worship and gaining adoration, it's a one way street. None of the deities we have met in the present would likely make the sacrifice made by Nunyunnini, and it draws their motives into sharper relief. We know now that Mr. Wednesday is amassing an army of old gods to "take on" the new gods, but to what end? Ensured survival? Additional worship? Could it actually be to save the hearts and minds of people corrupted by modern trappings such as media and technology? We'll get to more of this later on.

Moving on we see Shadow open the door to his dead wife for the third time now, except this time we finally get to move forward. After her brush with death, Laura's capacity for belief has widened considerably. In her second chance at life Laura is finally able to understand Shadow’s love and belief in her, and she is desperate to return to the (literal) light of his love. But while dying may have given Laura a new outlook, it didn't make her a saint. And while she is finally able to embrace her love for Shadow, Laura Moon is still kind of an asshole. While Shadow struggles with the emotional ramifications of being reunited with his cheating (dead) wife, Laura wants nothing more than to cut to the happy ending.

Glossing over the emotional pain both her departure and return have caused, Laura attempts to manipulate Shadow into returning to his former role as her 'puppy'. But just as Laura is not the woman she was, Shadow too has been changed by recent experiences. While Laura is finally learning what it means to believe in something, Shadow is coming to terms with the end of the relationship that was the center of his own beliefs. However the belief Shadow had in Laura has left a very convenient void, ready to be filled with belief in something (or someone) else. It is interesting to note as well that Mr. Wednesday is so eager to get Shadow away from the person who used to fill that void...

Speaking of Shadow and Wednesday, the two of them are arrested and carted off to the local jail for their bank scam. Brought back to the station and questioned, Mr. Wednesday drops probably the most direct story exposition we have gotten thus far. Yes he is recruiting, yes he is trying to get the scariest gods, yes Nancy is still in the mix (we have yet to see him thus far outside of his Coming to America).Yes a bit of a cheap device, but also very much welcome in a show that hasn't stated a lot flat out. Meanwhile an always astute Tracie Thoms correctly surmises that there is something or someone much bigger and scarier after Wednesday and Shadow than they are capable of dealing with on their own. She is right, but the victory is short lived as that someone/something shows up and kills everyone with sentient wood (!?!?!?!). Sidebar but I am dying to know more about the eye in the killer wood. I feel like if wood was a god it would be an old god, yet this wood seems to be doing the bidding of new god leader Mr. World. Every frame brings new mystery here on American Gods.

Moving on from the wood (make up your own pun, I am lazy), Shadow and Wednesday are met with every new god we have met thus far. After playing an image conscious David Bowie earlier in the episode, Gillian Anderson stuns once again as a haunting Marilyn Monroe. Anderson's portrayal of these pop culture icons is not only exact but also deeply (and delightfully) unnerving. While her impressions of the famous figures are well crafted, the underlying menace she brings to these media darlings we think we know is nothing short of brilliant. I would also love to see Media inhabit perhaps some more abstract representations of popular media, or Agent Scully. Omg can you imagine? I'm imagining right now.

Anywho Marlyn proceeds to introduce Mr. World, the new god of globalization. And just like the mega-corporations with international control who worship at his alter, Mr. World is terrifying. A well deployed Crispin Glover is always equal parts wonderful and soul chilling, and this his use here is just about as good as it gets with his ability to seem not quite human put to perfect use. While "I Love Lucy" was sent to woo Shadow, Mr. World has come with a pitch for Wednesday himself, and what a pitch it is. In an eerily timely sequence Mr. World offers Wednesday his name on the side of a missile guidance satellite over North Korea as a way to give Wednesday the worship he needs to survive via the fear and destruction the missiles launched by that satellite would bring to the populace below. Mr. World also confirms that Wednesday is in fact the god Odin (there have been many clues but never stated outright) and as we learned from the very first Coming to America, Odin accepts worship payment in blood and violence.

Beyond giving definitive answers to some of the plot, the series is now also tightening it's grasp on it's theme of the power and meaning of believe. The North Korea sequence particularly was a reminder of the thrall that storytelling and belief can hold, and what the consequences of that belief might be. We need look no further than America's current political situation and the deep rooted belief many people have that the way they perceive and understand things are the way things are (truth or lack thereof notwithstanding).

Finally, Bruce Langley, the last of the trio of new gods, also continues to be deliciously annoying and his half-assed apology for lynching Shadow couldn't have been better written by Twitter itself. Despite the fact that Tech Boy has the wisdom and patience of a standard comments section, he is right in pointing out that Mr. World has time and time again passed up the opportunity to vanquish his foe. Like so many before him, Mr World is a villain who when confronted with his prey decides to monologue instead of taking final action. It is clear there is something more to Mr. World's plan than simply ending Mr. Wednesday and his uprising, but what that is remains to be seen. Mr. World also describes Wednesday as an individualist, a mistake in his eyes in a world where true power is achieved through corporations and branding. America itself faces a similar battle, the country has long prided itself on it’s spirit of individualism especially in the pursuit of the “American Dream”. However as that dream becomes harder and harder to achieve America is facing an identity crisis, are we Mr. Wednesday or Mr, World? Wednesday also notes that he is getting bigger every year, which in some ways is true. In our time with Wednesday his powers have grown bit by bit, from pulling off basic cons, to now commanding animals, it seems as if Wednesday really is on the up, branding or no,

But although this episode was forthcoming with many elements about what has been going on, there are still plenty of question marks left on the table. As the series goes on it becomes tighter and more concise, the narrative threads more clear, the over arching themes more tangible. The best and worst thing about American Gods is every episode introduces more and more dynamic performances, fascinating plots, and mind blowing aesthetic. It is negative only in the sense it leaves me wanting so much more, we are introduced to characters and then must fiercely miss them (Bilquis, Nancy, Audrey, Low-Key, to name a few). It is effective though because at the end of every episode I am wanting more, and more, and more.

Next week: More.

XO MD

PS How much fun is Laura/Mad Sweeney chemistry? As Bryan Fuller said in the after show clip, it is extremely satisfying to watch a dick be a dick to another dick. I love that Laura continues to be written the way most male character' on TV are written. She is selfish, and entitled, and depressed, and in love, and sometimes she sucks, and sometimes she tells other dicks where to shove it. Surprise, she's a person (just a little bit more dead).

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radiofreefandom · 5 years ago

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TRANSCRIPT: Episode 201 – Undead Heist Crew with Jenny Hamilton

Claire: Hello, and welcome back to Radio Free Fandom, the podcast where my guests and I get down and nerdy about the media and stories that we love. Welcome to Season 2! Because we have seasons now, because podcasts are hard to make. You can’t make them every two weeks. It’s hard! So we have seasons, this is season 2, it’s going to come out every week for fifteen weeks. And I am so, so excited about the line-up of episodes that I’ve got for you folks, it’s going to be awesome. So as you’ve probably guessed this is Season 2 episode 1, I am still Claire, and my guest today is Jenny. For those of you who don’t know Jenny, or who didn’t hear Jenny’s previous episodes, she is a blogger and podcaster at Reading the End, and a diehard fan of Black Sails, her toddler godson, and the New Orleans Saints. Did I say that right?

Jenny: Yeah, that was perfect, that was amazing!

Claire: OK good, I was worried! Today we are going to celebrate the podcast’s glorious return to the land of the living by talking about our fav undead creatures and monsters, and then we’ll squee about stuff that we loved in the last… six months or so since we spoke to you, dear listeners!

[Music break]

Claire: Welcome back to the show Jenny, I’m so glad to have you back for the start of this new season!

Jenny: I’m so excited to be here, and I’m so excited to hear the other episodes you’ve got lined up, because like, what I’ve heard you talk about so far sounds amazing.

Claire: Well, we’ll have a bit more of a teaser in the recommendations segment later in the episode. But, let’s start with talking about the undead! Why do we love them?! And then, we’re going to play a game, which was Jenny’s idea, and was the best of the best ideas.

Jenny: I’m so excited!

Claire: So the undead – we kind of had to figure out what we meant by ‘the undead’, like, just zombies, just vampires, immortal people, people who’ve died? What’s the criteria here, for something to qualify as the undead?

Jenny: So yeah, the only criterion that I applied, is that they had to have died and come back to life in some way. So whether that was zombies or vampires, obviously those count, but also, for instance Harry Potter counts, because he’s died and then come back to life. I mean, in my line-up I decided not to just include immortals, they had to have died, so no Wolverine, but, you know, who cares, so. (Laughs)

Claire: That is also the rule that I went by, and before we get too much further into that, let’s talk about the line-ups that we’re going to do. I’m going to let you introduce it, because it’s such a brilliant idea.

Jenny: OK, so my idea was – I’ve been watching a lot of Leverage, as we are going to discuss – but, so I wanted to have us each invent a caper crew, with seven positions, and then we would each have to draft a fictional undead character to fill each of those positions, and comprise our full caper crew.

Claire: And this is great to me, because I also love Leverage, but I feel like I wasn’t really into heists before Leverage, I haven’t really been into heists as a specific type of story, but it’s wonderfully tropey, is a heist, isn’t it?

Jenny: Yes, very, yes!

Claire: So do we want to start by talking about the roles that we’re going to recruit for our caper crew, and we basically took them from TV Tropes.

Jenny: Yeah, and we picked the most interesting positions, and I feel good about where we landed.

Claire: Yes, although I did change one of them a tiny bit so it was more like Leverage, but we’ll get into that.

Jenny: (Laughs) I have no complaints to make about that.

Claire: OK, Good. So the first job that we’re going to be looking at is the Mastermind. The Mastermind is the leader, the person that gathers the crew, finds the targets, calls the shots, thinks of the plan, and basically, in Leverage, which is going to be the ur-text for this, right?

Jenny: Yes, yes

Claire: The Mastermind is like, supposedly the main character, although I personally think that Nate is very boring and shouldn’t be the main character, but whatever.

Jenny: Yeah.

Claire: The idea of the Mastermind is a person that’s able to change the plan on the fly if something goes wrong, which is kind of what I went for more specifically when I chose my Mastermind, so, do you want to reveal yours first or shall I go?

Jenny: I can go! Because I’m really excited about my Mastermind. OK, so, you had said in your notes for this podcast that it was someone who could keep a bunch of immoral people in line, but I’ve gone a different direction.

Claire: Nice!

Jenny: I tried to escape from this outcome, but everyone I cast as the Mastermind was less good than my first thought, which was Katherine Pierce from the Vampire Diaries. She’s the only undead character I could think of who has the right combination of intelligence, initiative, and passion for contingency plans. I think she’d be great at planning for every eventuality. I do think she would mostly want to do evil plans, but I think I’ve got a team that mostly has a strong moral compass and ultimately could keep her on the straight and narrow. Basically, Katherine is just incredibly smart. On The Vampire Diaries sometimes she is outsmarted, but that is by like, the collective intelligence of two Salvatores and Elena, and those are all pretty smart people, so I think she’d be great as the Mastermind. Who did you pick?

Claire: My first pick was literally just a bad joke, I was literally going to say it should be Jon Snow, because he died and came back to life and he’s as boring as Nate, right.

Jenny: (Laughs) That’s pretty good, that’s funny.

Claire: My actual pick is Jack Skellington from Nightmare Before Christmas, because the man has grand ideas. Like, sometimes they don’t work great, but he is going to go out there and organise stuff. He’s going to go to this random new place he doesn’t know and have an idea and be like, alright, we’re doing it, and get it all done. And then, when stuff doesn’t work, he will come up with a way to fix it, which I thought was important for the Mastermind as well.

Jenny: Yeah, oh absolutely I agree, that’s a very good pick, I like it.

Claire: Thank you, thank you thank you. Yeah I’m sorry, I haven’t actually seen the Vampire Diaries, so I can’t —

Jenny: Oh, it’s really great, it’s so great, you should watch it one time.

Claire: MM-kay, one time – isn’t that show really long?

Jenny: Yeah, but I think if you just wanted to get a sense of it, you could just watch the first two seasons, because that’s when it’s like, peak itself. Or if you just wanted to watch the first three, that would also be fine.

Claire: Fair enough, fair enough.

Jenny: OK, so the next position on our caper crew is the one that I found the hardest to cast.

Claire: Oh my God, same.

Jenny: It’s yeah, which is Tech Support. This is the hacker, and provider of gadgets, who builds what you need to get into vault security, hacks into computers, and does all that kind of stuff. Turns out there’s not a lot of undead techy types, so I’m really interested to hear what you came up with, Claire.

Claire: Right, there’s a lot of fantasy undead things, but not a lot of sci-fi undead things. I struggled a lot, I had a lot of like, this is a real stretch but I might have to go for this. In the end, I kind of talked it through with friend of the podcast Susan, who was extremely helpful, and what we in the end landed on is Breq, who was the Justice of Toren from Ancillary Justice. Now I want to say straight away, this is my biggest stretch for someone who died and came back to life. But, the Justice of Toren was a massive spaceship, with a bunch of ancillary bodies, who themselves had basically been braindead, and then like, been brought back as corpses to serve, blah blah blah. And then the Justice of Toren gets blown up, and Breq is like, the conscience of the Justice of Toren in just one body. So I think I’m going to give it to myself. Breq used to be an artificial intelligence in a spaceship, so like, she can do the thing. Breq is the only person that I thought of that wasn’t like an absolute stretch for this in terms of being able to actually do tech support.

Jenny: Actually, as you were speaking I changed my choice.

Claire: Oh dear!

Jenny: I just changed my choice just now. Well because, OK, I’ll tell you my thought process. The first person I thought of, the only undead character I could think of who was remotely in the STEM discipline was Liv from iZombie, but she really doesn’t do tech support, that’s not her thing, she’s a medical person.

Claire: No, I know.

Jenny: And then my second thought was, OK, one of the X-Men, like, all the X-Men die and come back to life, so I was like Beast, surely.

Claire: Yeah, comic, anyone in a comic book, I’m not going to go and check, they’ve probably died and come back to life.

Jenny: Right, well, but I’m committed to the integrity of the system, so I did go and check.

Claire: I know, I know you are.

Jenny: And I swear to god, every X-Man except for Beast has died and come back to life.

Claire: Oh, I’m so sorry.

Jenny: I looked and looked, I couldn’t find anything. So I was going to land on Jean Grey, but I have just this moment changed my mind. And I’m instead going to choose Jedao from Yoon Ha Lee’s Ninefox Gambit.

Claire: Yes! This was Susan’s first idea, but I haven’t read it, and I felt very uncomfortable citing something I hadn’t read. And I care about the integrity of the system so we looked for something else.

Jenny: Yeah, so I feel really good about this! Jedao used to live inside his body and that body has died so I think it counts. They kept his consciousness alive on ice, but I still think it counts as having been dead.

Claire: No, I think it counts. I mean, I mostly think it counts because I had it as a backup myself.

(Both Laugh)

Jenny: Well, and I did think about him as a Mastermind, but the reason I didn’t want him as the Mastermind is that he doesn’t really trust himself as a Mastermind. So, I think that in the Tech Support role he could use his brilliance, but he wouldn’t be in charge of people’s lives, and I think that would be a relief to him.

Claire: Well, I feel like Hardison would be insulted by this, not being in charge of people’s lives.

Jenny: I just mean not being a leader of men, he did some bad stuff when he was a leader of men, so I think, you know.

Claire: No that’s fair, that’s fair. That’s the only thing I know about this series, is that Jedao did a lot of bad stuff before.

Jenny: He did, he did, yes. But he’s very brilliant, he’s techy, I think he would do great at both hacking and building gadgets. Wow, I’m so excited I thought of this just now!

Claire: Yeah, I think that really works.

Jenny: Oh man, so good.

Claire: Great, amazing! The next role we have down is the con-person, slash the grifter. So in Leverage, that’s a woman called Sophie, or maybe not Sophie, we don’t really know. But the TV Tropes thing says, they do most of the conning, acting, and people-manipulating, which is quite important, and they use confidence tricks. And obviously they might also have to go and be a mole, or be bait, or be distractions if they need to do that.

Jenny: Okay. I love my pick for this, I think that the con-person, it’s helpful if they have a background in the theatre, and they also need to be hot and charming, so I chose the vampire Lestat from the Interview With a Vampire books by Anne Rice.

Claire: That’s fair! (Laughs)

Jenny: Isn’t that good?

Claire: Yeah, that’s quite good.

Jenny: He’s like, he’s flashy and vain and charming, he has been an actor and a musician, which means that he’s like, at ease as a performer, he can also, he’s bisexual, so he can romance people of any gender, and I think that he would just be a real asset to the crew.

Claire: Yeah, that’s fair. I went with Liv as iZombie, specifically because, it’s a plotpoint in iZombie that when Liv eats the brain of a person with specific knowledge or specific urges or personality or whatever, she gets that. So, my idea of that would be like, if Liv wasn’t confident in herself to be the grifter who could do a particular job, then she could like, tap back to the time that she ate that one brain that would be really great for that. Or, they could just have a library of brains on ice, that had like, the right, you know. I mean I’m going way more evil with this. Just like, we’re just going to keep a bunch of brains, just in case.

Jenny: That is pretty evil, but I like it.

Claire: Or, she could just have the brain of the vampire Lestat, on ice.

Jenny: I didn’t really imagine our teams going up against each other, but watch it missy.

Claire: OK, fair enough, fair enough.

Jenny: OK, so our next position is the pickpocket slash cat burglar. So, this is the one with the steadiest hands, who can perform any kind of job requiring sleight-of-hand, like stealing security cards. Claire wrote in our notes, “the one most likely to descend from the ceiling via a series of cables, or manoeuvre around a laser grid”. Fantastic.

Claire: I mean, that’s also from TV Tropes, but I wanted that in there because that’s my favourite thing about the cat burglar as like, you know, a type, a trope of character, like. Just the competency with which they can do that particular thing. Obviously competency porn is a really important aspect of any type of heist story, but the cat burglar really gets me. I’m, I’m so excited about this pick!!!

Jenny: (Laughs) Oh my

Claire: I picked Death from the Discworld. Because canonically, people do not notice Death, people make sure to avoid to notice Death, because it’s very uncomfortable to look at Death. Now, only children and cats and witches and wizards will notice Death, right. So you just need to make sure you’re not trying to pickpocket some witches or wizards, and just try to make sure that you get the children out of the way, so that no one says like, “who’s this person descending a wire?” or whatever. And then, also, death is so old and all-encompassing, that basically like, walls or things that are less than five million centuries old or whatever, that has no bearing on him and his person. He can just like, walk through walls. Which, on the one hand, I feel like, I’m a little sad because, you know, Parker didn’t go through the process of undoing this entire safe, and unlocking all the things and whatever, just for Death to just walk through walls and do the thing, but, it would be efficient.

Jenny: It would be extremely efficient, an asset to any caper crew. I chose John Constantine, from DC Comics. He died and came back to life, that’s kind of his origin story. And he really wants to do good, and I think that’s important because I have a couple of not-so moral people on my team, so I think it’s helpful to have a couple of people with a strong moral compass. Also, canonically he has experience in stage magic, so I think that he would be good at – yeah, so he can do sleight-of-hand, and he’s fun, I think he would be a fun, enjoyable addition to the team.

Claire: That’s really cool.

Jenny: Yeah.

Claire: Now, the next one is the Muscle, and I’m not going to read the TV Tropes description of the Muscle, because it’s all like, “the burly man who’s big”!

Jenny: Boo!

Claire: We all know what the Muscle does, we all know what the Muscle does, the Muscle intimidates, and body-guards, and all that kind of good stuff. Now I’m very curious to hear your pick for the Muscle, because I feel like my pick for the Muscle is my most legit pick of the entire list.

Jenny: Ooh, I’m worried we might, I’m a little worried about this one that we would overlap, and we’d have to fight it out.

Claire: OK, go go go.

Jenny: OK, I chose Buffy the Vampire Slayer —

Claire: Obviously!!! Obviously Buffy Summers, like. OK, fair.

Jenny: Wait, did we, because I have a back-up, I can choose my back-up.

Claire: No no, I don’t think we have to, do we have to, have —

Jenny: No, we can have the same one. They’re imaginary, so it doesn’t matter. Yeah! She’s scrappy, she has experience coping with a lot of bad guys at one time, and I think people would underestimate her because she is petite.

Claire: Yeah, and also, you know, she does have superpowers, basically. She is very strong.

Jenny: She’s very strong, I also, again, I wanted some people on my team who were good people, to keep the bad people in line, and I think that’s Buffy, I think Buffy would not agree to anything that was morally wrong, because she’s a good person, and she really cares about being a good person.

Claire: Yeah. I love how you had a thought about your whole team – like all of my thoughts about this was how to make it fit the actual competence that they can do, and how to make jokes that relate it to Leverage. I feel like your team is going to work a lot more cohesively over all as a lovely found family.

Jenny: Well, I haven’t gotten to my Driver yet, so we’ll see what you think when I get there.

Claire: OK, so, the Getaway Driver, that’s another one that I found a little bit tricky, because again, there’s a lot of fantasy about undead people and not a lot of sci-fi? And so, like.

Jenny: I’m so excited about my choice! Sorry, continue.

Claire: So my thought process behind this was to try and find somebody who could drive a whole bunch of different things? So obviously I went for King Boo from MarioKart, because it’s a driving game, he can drive lots of different things. And he’s a ghost!

Jenny: That is so good!

Claire: Thank you! (Both laugh) I want to hear yours!

Jenny: OK, so mine is the Lord of the Nazgûl, the Witch-king of Angmar —

Claire: Oh, so good!

Jenny: Isn’t that good, I’m so happy about it! He has a baller horse, and an even baller-er flying monster —

Claire: I did consider the Night King from Game of Thrones, because he’s got an undead snow dragon or whatever, but yours is better.

Jenny: Yeah, yeah. He is taciturn, but you don’t want a driver who’s a chatterbox you know? And, moreover, since no man can kill him, you now have a driver who can’t be killed by one entire gender, that’s like, a huge advantage.

Claire: Right, and also, if the thing that you’re stealing is the one ring of power, he does have a satnav built in.

Jenny: So true, so true!

Claire: But just if it’s that.

Jenny: Oh man, that’s amazing.

Claire: And the final place in this crew is something that you suggested.

Jenny: Yeah, so I suggested we have an audience stand-in, so someone who’s new to the biz, and excited to learn how everything works, and they help us, the audience, understand who every member of the crew is and what each of their jobs are and so forth. I kind of made this as like a swing position so that we could just add someone to the team that we like, so Claire, what did you choose for this?

Claire: So I didn’t actually go with like, oh here’s a person that I like that’s missing from this list, what I went with in the end was, who’s a person who would be a good stand-in for the audience? And so what I went with is newly-vampired Bella Swan, because, you know, canonically in the books she doesn’t really have that much of a personality, and it’s not to rag on those books, it’s just she’s a character who exists kind of as a stand-in for the audience anyway. Like, that’s kind of the point of that particular character I think in YA a lot of the time, and she’s made a vampire during the series, so there you go. But I would like to not have Edward or any of the Cullens or Jacob, or her creepy baby in the crew or anywhere near them, they can be her tragic past.

Jenny: Sounds perfect!

Claire: And also my crew now gets to have Kristen Stewart, so it’s now hotter and gayer.

Jenny: Yes, I would like to note I have two canonically bisexual characters on my team – actually no, three, because Jedao is also, as I recall, pansexual. OK, so my audience stand-in, I originally was going to have an X-man character, and then I was like well I can’t have two X-men on the team so I nixed it, and I was going to do Death of the Endless, but since I got rid of my X-men character I’m going back again, and now I will again choose Jubilee from the X-men, because she is young, she is enthusiastic to learn about things. People say she’s a pain in the ass, I think she just has a case of being a young woman in fiction.

Claire: Oh yeah, fair fair.

Jenny: And also, she has her own superpowers, so as she is with the team for longer she could start to take more of a role, and find which department she wants to specialise in, and I think that would be fun to witness also.

Claire: That’s really, really fun!

Jenny: Yeah!

Claire: I was also trying not to have too many people from the same properties, but I was also trying to have a good break down of what creatures people were. I tried to make sure I had a good coverage. So I’ve got a skeleton, I’ve got a spaceship that died and is an AI back to – maybe, I don’t know how to classify Justice of Toren. But, I’ve got a skeleton, I’ve got an AI come back to life, I’ve got a zombie, I’ve got Death, I’ve got someone who died and came back to life, a ghost, and a vampire.

Jenny: That’s very good.

Claire: And the thing I’m proudest of out of all of this is just the spread of undeadiness that I’ve got in there.

Jenny: Yes, you’ve done absolutely brilliantly. I didn’t even think about that, so I’ve got two vampires, two people who came back from the dead… yeah, so mine is a little more mixed.

Claire: But I think yours actually works better in terms of a narrative you could build with it. The other thing that I tried really really hard to do is I tried to pick people for the positions of hacker, thief and muscle, that could be in love. Because obviously I very very strongly care about the Leverage OT3, of the hacker, the thief and the muscle, Parker, Eliot and Hardison. And so I tried that really hard… and I ended up with Breq, Death and Buffy. Which Susan pointed out, that’s at least two people that are like, “what are those feeling things you speak of?!” which works really well with Leverage. I rest my case.

Jenny: That does go really well with Leverage. Mine is, mine doesn’t really work so well, I have, who do I have… I have Jedao, Constantine and Buffy. I just don’t think they would fall in love in the end, I don’t think they would.

Claire: So that was our undead heist caper crew, let us know on Twitter at @Readingtheend and @Radiofreefandom if you agree or disagree with our picks, and if you would pick other people for undead heistiness, and please watch Leverage.

Jenny: So good!

[Music break]

Claire: So for our recommendation segment today, we’re going to talk about stuff that we’ve loved in the break, and that is since about March or April, something like that, so we have a lot of things to cover. Do you want to start us off, Jenny?

Jenny: Yeah, so, there’s no way that you could have predicted I was going to say this, because I have given no indication at all that this is what I’m currently obsessed with, but, I am currently obsessed with Leverage. I started watching it a couple of years ago and I think what went wrong – two things I think went wrong. One, I got distracted because I was not a finisher at that time, and I am a finisher now. Two, I was much less aware of fandom back then, so I don’t think I fully appreciated how super super shippy it is. Which is, very, especially in seasons 4 and 5, which I am now in. And in case you’re not familiar, it’s a heist show, there is a found family of five people, who all have jobs on the heist team, and they love each other and they do crimes to stop the rich from being terrible. And it is so great, it’s the best comfort food, I love it.

Claire: Yeah, I mean I have been watching Leverage and I think I was watching Leverage before the break and already started talking about it. I need to finish Leverage, I need to watch seasons 4 and 5, because I am ready for even more shippiness than earlier in the show. Like literally came to this show from fandom, and didn’t realise that Parker, Hardison, Eliot aren’t the main characters. I literally thought it was a show about Parker, like Parker was the main person —

Jenny: I wish!

Claire: I wish too! But since we’re talking about Leverage now, I need to tell you all that you will hear more about Leverage this season on Radio Free Fandom, because we’re going to have a full Leverage episode later in the series, we’re also going to have episodes about other things that I was talking about before the break and that I am still obsessed with, things like She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, whatever is going on these days in the MCU, also the Hugo Awards. And we’ll be talking about some newer stuff that’s been happening since then, like the juggernaut that’s taken over fandom, Good Omens. As well as the Veronica Mars revival, for good or bad or whatever value of that, we’ll be talking about it.

Jenny: Sounds great, I’m very excited. I’m especially excited obviously about the Leverage episode, and I hope it includes fic recs.

Claire: It definitely definitely will, because, not to spoil too much ahead of time, but Chelsea will be on it.

Jenny: Great, great.

Claire: OK, now that I’ve teased what’s coming up on the podcast a little bit, do you want to tell me your next thing you’ve loved in the break?

Jenny: Yes, I would love to. So, this is actually going to be one of my favourite books of the entire year. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me, by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connell. I’m just so high on this book, it’s a YA comic about a girl named Freddy, who’s dating this very flighty, charming unreliable girl called Laura Dean, and Freddy is trying to figure out who she is as a person, and also who she is when she’s in a relationship with Laura Dean. It’s really great for a number of reasons. The art is gorgeous, and I think does a really tremendous job of conveying the characters’ interiority. I also think, and I’ve thought this about Mariko Tamaki’s books in the past, I think it just really clearly remembers what it’s like to be a teenager. And it just felt, I was not the teenager who went out and did parties, which these kids are, but even so, it felt so familiar, it felt so much like what I remembered of being a teenager, and how you just never felt like the ground was solid under you. So that was really great, I also love that it’s about a queer character and she has queer friends, I think that often, if there’s a queer character in YA friends they’ll be the only one among their friend group, which I don’t think is realistic, and also just creates this false sense of isolation around queerness, so I loved seeing her be in a supportive group of friends. And God, it was just great, it was so great, I felt so good when I finished it, I recently reread it, again, and I, again, felt amazing when I finished it. It’s just the best, everyone should read it.

Claire: I’m definitely going to look that up!

Jenny: Oh, it’s so sweet, I think you’ll really love it. It’s so sweet!

Claire: Now, my first pick for this is something that, if anyone’s been following me on social media you’re probably not too surprised, but, it’s the TV show Schitt’s Creek, which. Jenny, if you haven’t seen it, I think you would also like it. The high level pitch is basically that it’s this family of incredibly, incredibly, incredibly wealthy people, who in the first three-minute cold open of the show basically lose their entire fortune because their crooked business manager basically went away to the Bahamas with all their money. And so, they have found themselves with nothing to their name but like a suitcase of belongings, and a town that the dad bought his son as a gift, as a joke, because the town’s name is Schitt’s Creek. So they go to Schitt’s Creek with a suitcase of fabulous clothing each, and they get a room at the local motel, and they have to learn how to have actual life skills, and be a family. The first season is a little bit more shaky, because it’s trying to introduce the thing, and it’s a bit – I think it just takes them a while to figure out exactly what they’re doing. But, it kind of turns into the most gentle, loving ribbing of these people, and the joke is always that they have no life skills, and it’s never at the expense of the people in the town, who are just normal people trying to live their lives. The relationships that it starts to build, the way the characters kind of grow into a loving family is just amazing. And it’s just so kind, and it’s about people trying their hardest, which really really just hits me in the feels.

Jenny: Yeah man, I. So I haven’t watched it yet, all of the internet, like everyone I know is obsessed with this show. The only reason I haven’t is that I’m a finisher now so I’m trying to finish shows I’ve already started. Because, the reason I never finish any goddamn shows is that something like this always comes along, and I’m like ooh, this sounds good!

Claire: Yeah, fair! That’s really fair.

Jenny: And then I’ll watch one season or a season and a half, and then some other thing will be the thing that everyone’s obsessed with, so I like jump ship immediately. So I’m goddamn finishing Leverage, and then I’m going to finish Jane the Virgin, and then I’m going to finish Killjoys, and I think once I’ve done that, then at that point, I can take on something new.

Claire: It would be really sad if you started watching Schitt’s Creek, you got through like season 1 and season 2, and then you stopped when it’s getting like, amazing. It’s good in the early seasons, it just gets really, really, really amazing later in the run of the show. Season 5 is now out, there’s one more coming out, and then it will all be done and then you can watch it when it’s all finished and finish it, because it is so so good, and I love it so much.

Jenny: It’s a half-hour comedy, right?

Claire: Yeah, I think it’s a twenty minute show. Because, I actually had a sleepover at my best friend’s house that was like a craft weekend with her and a couple of other friends of ours, and I showed up and they were watching Schitt’s Creek, and they had started like in the middle of season 3, for people who have seen it they started at the episode where Patrick showed up, and then they had it on the entire time, and so I showed up, and I had said I would cook some food, so I’m cooking some food and not really paying attention to the show, and they’re kind of explaining to me what’s going on with it and what’s happening and who the people are, and by the time I sat down to actually watch it, was the episode where the main couple that I’m now obsessed with get together in the actual show, it has canonical queer representation in the show – this is not a Schitt’s Creek episode! A Schitt’s Creek episode will happen in this season of this very podcast, so I’m going to stop talking about it now and we’re going to talk about your next thing.

Jenny: OK, but I do look forward to watching Schitt’s Creek, and I do think half-hour comedies are easier to binge, so I’m about it.

(Quick break)

Jenny: OK, my next thing is, I signed up for a poem-a-day email, and I’ve really been loving it. I don’t tend to think of myself as a poetry person, partly because a lot of the poetry that I read I don’t like, but what I think is true, and if you’re a poetry person feel free to tell me I’m wrong, but I think it’s the case that you in general will not like most poetry that you read, because poetry is aiming directly for your heart, and so since people have very different hearts, inevitably a lot of poems’ll miss the mark. So doing a poem-a-day subscription has been fantastic, because I get exposed to a really wide range of poets. I originally signed up for the poets.org poem-a-day and it didn’t suit my needs, so now I’m using the Poetry Foundation poem-a-day newsletter, and it’s been great, they have a really nice variety, diversity of voices, a diversity of ages of poems. One that I got that I really liked recently was called ‘Vines’ by Kaveh Akbar, and it has this line in it, he’s talking about his family, and saying some compliment that they’ve given him, and he says, ‘I thank them for that and / for their chromosomes most of which // have been lovely’.

Claire: That’s cute.

Jenny: Yeah, so it’s been really nice, and it’s also just a nice thing to look forward to in the morning, because a poem is short and you can read it real quick. And I feel like I got culture first thing in the morning.

Claire: That’s really lovely, I think I’ve only got a couple of newsletters that I actually read. I very assiduously read the Rec Center when that comes out, I’m sure listeners to this podcast will already know about it because I’ve mentioned it a bunch of times on this show, but the Rec Center is a newsletter for fandom about fandom with fandom recommendations. And, also I really enjoy the Full Lid which is Alasdair Stuart’s newsletter, Alasdair is a friend of mine, and a genuine really good egg, like a very kind person who’s super enthusiastic about things, and it comes out on a Friday when I’m feeling tired and grumpy, and I still have one more day in my week, because I work Tuesdays to Saturdays, so it’s my Thursday which is the worst, and it just always cheers me up.

Jenny: That sounds great! Yeah I love the Rec Center, they had, not to be predictable, but they had a very, very excellent piece of – Claire’s making quite a face – they had a very excellent piece of fanart in the most recent Rec Center newsletter that was of Toby Stephens in Black Sails and my word, it was certainly something.

Claire: I mean, to be fair, I haven’t seen Black Sails yet, but I’m onboard with Toby Stephens is hot because I’m a person that enjoys gentlemen, so.

Jenny: Yeah, I mean, and let me just say, if you already think Toby Stephens is hot, watching Black Sails will be like a whole, it’s like a new dimension in your brain opens up for finding Toby Stephens attractive.

Claire: I know, I know Jenny, but the thing is, it’s such a long show, and it’s going to ruin my feelings, and I can tell it’s going to be the deepest fandom hole that I’ve been in since Les Mis, and I just.

Jenny: What I’m hearing you say is, “Try really hard to convince me Jenny, you will find it rewarding once you do.”

Claire: I mean the thing is I know, it’s not a question of an if, it’s a question of when I have time, but we know that I don’t really do having time.

Jenny: I hear you, oh my gosh, it’s so good. Well, listen listen, here’s the upside. The fandom… I don’t want to say the fandom is trash, but it ships the wrong thing, it’s very wrong, it’s unfortunately extremely wrong, so although I would like to be in the fandom, it’s too wrong for me to be in it. So, I just have the show mainly, and there’s a couple of fics that are really really good, but overall it’s not for me.

Claire: Oh, that’s really sad, I’m so sorry!

Jenny: It is really sad, thank you for understanding!

Claire: My next pick is the novel Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. This is a royalty AU fanfic of a book, basically. This is a story about a British prince, and the first son of the United States, he’s the son of the first female president of the US, and he’s a queer latino kid, and he’s in a kind of weird, they don’t talk to each other but they both know they hate each other relationship with the prince of England. And then they go to this reception together and basically get in an argument and inadvertently break some shit, and they have to do a PR stunt that they are best friends, and it was an accident, because they are best friends! And so they are kind of thrown together. And then they start having this really weird friendship that works because of their different positions, basically jobs that they have as public figures, and of course that goes into a romantic relationship. And there are a lot of tropes in this that are, you know if you’re familiar with royalty AUs in fanfic, you will see the same tropes, so I need to give a content warning for characters being outed. If you have read royalty AUs and you’re like, ooh I can imagine how that would happen in a royalty AU, it happens like that. It’s like, the press being shitty basically. So I don’t feel like that’s a massive spoiler because it’s just like, how this very precise subgenre of fanfic that I adore functions. Now, there’s been some controversy around this book about like, the way that it’s being marketed in very much a “this has never been done before!” “this is like YA but better because!” “this is romance but better because!” “It’s never been done before!” … It’s obviously been done before. I saw the title and the blurb and I was like, yep, I know exactly what kind of book it’s going to be and I’m going to love it. I do think it’s a really good book, and obviously the author didn’t come up with the concept of a royalty AU, but it’s a really good example of that genre, and it also has a lot of really lovely stuff about the presidency and politics and campaigning and stuff like that. I wonder if maybe that might be a little bit difficult to read or fraught to read for US readers, because it has stuff about having a female president and how campaigning works and all of that, that I thought, ooh that’s a bit soon, and it’s not even something that I personally have to live with every day, so, you know, eh. I feel like I’m giving too many warnings for this thing that I adore and I think people should read, but, there you go.

Jenny: No, I don’t think you are, that’s just useful, then people know, so they can approach it in the best spirit, I think that’s solid. Yeah, I’m excited to read that book, I keep checking at my library and it’s always checked out, so I just this minute while you were talking put a hold on it, because it does sound really cute and sweet.

Claire: Yay!

Jenny: OK, my next one is Six the Musical, which is a musical about Henry the eighth’s six wives, kind of as if they were the Spice Girls, basically. I did not discover this musical for the first time during podcast hiatus, but I did go see it for the first time during podcast hiatus, so I think it counts. I saw it in Chicago at the Chicago Shakespeare Theatre, and it was so much fun. If you’ve listened to it you probably already really like the soundtrack, but seeing the show is really great because the energy is really high, the performers are really engaged with the audience, and it was just a really really really really really fun musical to see. I think it’s in London and Boston right now, and it will also be opening on Broadway in New York next year, so if you’re in any of those places I really recommend it. If you can’t go see it because tickets to musicals are expensive, I do still recommend listening to the London cast recording, it bangs. And it’s just so much fun, I love it so much. I love it!

Claire: Yeah, it is a really really fun show, I haven’t actually heard the album, but I went to see it, so I’ve seen the London production, and it’s almost more like a concert than a musical? Obviously there’s loads of cool costume changes and there’s a lot of cool scenery onstage, but there’s also a band, isn’t there a band onstage? I thought there was like, drums if I’m remembering correctly.

Jenny: Yes, there’s a little band. In the Chicago production they introduce each of the band members, it was really sweet, it was really nice.

Claire: I mean, you kind of have to do that if they’re onstage I think. But that’s like a trope, if you want to use that word, of concerts, right, and they do do that, so that’s kind of what I mean by it’s very concert-y. I really enjoyed it, I thought it was really fun, I’m not somebody who knows a lot about this particular period of British history, I’ve done a lot more contemporary British history, so it was kind of fun to go and see because I didn’t know a lot of the details, and a lot of the timeframe of the thing.

Jenny: Well, apply to me if you ever want to know details, I know a lot of things. I was in a very major Tudors phase when I was a young teenager, so.

Claire: Oh yes, I do recall that you have a lot of opinions about Mary Queen of Scots.

Jenny: Yes I do, yes I do! What an idiot! We don’t have to get into it, but what an idiot, oh my god.

Claire: (Laughs) No no, I mean, I recall you specifically having a lot of opinions about movies and media depictions of Mary Queen of Scots, and various other things that I thought, “Sure, that’s a thing I don’t know anything about, but I will trust Jenny’s opinion on these things.”

Jenny: Thank you, I appreciate that.

Claire: So my next favourite thing is more of a genre of a thing, it’s TV shows that are very specific competitions. And not really mean competitions like Project Runway or something like that where people snipe at each other, I mean Great British Bakeoff-style competitions where it’s just a particular trade, or a particular type of thing, like, we’ve got a Great British Sewing Bee in the UK as well, which is amazing and I really like needlecrafts as well, so it works great for me. But there are more shows just like that that have this kind of, how kind, that have people helping each other. I have loved Faceoff for a really long time, it’s just not available to watch anywhere in the UK, so it makes me really sad. But, there are two that are available to watch in the UK, and that makes me so happy. The first I know you watch also, and that is Blown Away, which is the Netflix glass-blowing competition, which was amazing! Which showcased this really uncommon, obscure skill that people don’t really know about, and is fascinating, and also, every episode they talk about glory-holes a bunch of times, which is really funny, because that’s just a funny word!

Jenny: (Giggles) Yes they do, it’s hilarious!

Claire: It’s one of the like, ovens, I guess? That they use? And they all talk about it with an extremely straight face, which I love.

Jenny: Yes, yes, they do, there’s no winking at the camera, although if it were me that would be all that I was doing.

Claire: Yeah, for sure, for sure. And the other thing I’m not sure if that’s going to be available for people to watch outside of the UK, but it is a show called The Great Model Railway Challenge, which is a show… where they make model railways. Like!

Jenny: I could never have guessed.

Claire: But it’s so, so fun! I would say the one drawback to it is that it tends to be teams of older white dudes, there’s not that many women or people of colour, I mean they are there, obviously they’re there, because every kind of thing, like model railway building or science fiction and fantasy where people tell you “oh it’s a thing of white dudes!” it’s not, it’s not, we’ve always been around, we’re there, but… I would say, it is kind of still predominant, but it’s such a fun show. They basically have three teams come in that are local model railway building clubs from around the country, and they give them this big table, and they have to build a model railway on a theme in three days. So they start by putting out the tracks, and making sure all the trains run, and then they have to build this massive bit of scenery around it. They are allowed to bring some stuff from home, but they have to only bring a certain amount of buildings that they have premade from home, and so sometimes you get into a situation where someone is like “yes, this row of houses is one of our pre-built!” and the judges are like, “noooo.” That’s the level of drama that we get. You also get lovely shots of people drinking tea and eating biscuits, because that’s very important.

Jenny: Yes. That sounds wonderful. I too am a big fan of kind reality shows, and I actually read a thing on NPR recently talking about how Netflix is really cornering the market on kind reality shows in America, so you know, someone’s on it, it’s not going to stop with Blown Away, I hope.

Claire: Yeah, there’s also a Lego one in the UK actually. I didn’t mention it because it’s not on at the minute, but there’s like a Lego-building show, and they have a lot of teams that are like, a kid and their uncle or something.

Jenny: Aww!

Claire: There’s adult teams, and then kids, and there’s teams that are like two kids sometimes that do really really well because they are so imaginative. Then they have teams that are like, “Yes, I’m eight, and my dad is an engineer, and we have built the Eiffel Tower in Lego!” Something like that, it’s just really good.

Jenny: It sounds wonderful!

(Quick break)

Jenny: OK, my last pick is the Psychology of Time Travel by Kate Mascarenhas. Oh my god, I loved this book so much, I don’t understand why everyone’s not reading it and talking about it. This is another one that’s definitely going to be in my top five books of the year. And, like Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me, it is mostly about women. This is about an alternate universe where time travel gets invented in England after World War II, and this whole time travel agency gets created. It’s told in multiple timelines, as you would expect from a time travel book, and there’s just so many moving parts, so what’s amazing is that it works really well together, all the different moving parts just click together so beautifully, I never knew what was coming next, I would get finished with a chapter and just be like, I have no idea what’s going to happen. It’s nominally a murder mystery, but you start out not even knowing actually who got murdered. It’s just great, it’s inventive, it’s queer, it’s unexpected, and I have not read a time travel book in a really long time that I thought did such an amazing job of characters, and plot, and I just loved it. And there are almost no men in it, which is great.

Claire: Have you read the time travel novellas by Kate Heartfield, Alice Payne Arrives and Alice Payne Rides? Because I thought they did that thing that you describe really really well, the time travel timey-wimeyness.

Jenny: Yes, so I read the first one, I haven’t read the second one yet. I enjoyed it a lot yeah, for sure.

Claire: Would recommend the second one.

Jenny: I’m all-in for time travel. I’m excited to read it, my library doesn’t have it yet unfortunately.

Claire: Hopefully soon!

Jenny: I know!

[Music break]

Claire: Well that’s all we have time for today, but before we go, Jenny, can you tell people a little bit more about where they can find you online?

Jenny: Yes! So I am at readingtheend.com where I blog and podcast, and I’m also on Twitter @readingtheend, and I think that’s it, those are my main two places.

Claire: Awesome, awesome, thank you so much for joining me Jenny, I was so happy to do this game with you today.

Jenny: Thank you so much for having me on, I’m so delighted that you humoured me and agreed to do my fantasy draft!

Claire: It was a lot of fun! So, thanks again for joining me, and thank you to all of you for tuning in to Radio Free Fandom. You can find us on Twitter at @radiofreefandom, email us at [email protected], or head over to our website radiofreefandom.com to see the show notes and find out more about our awesome guests. If you enjoy the show, please consider leaving us a rating or a review on iTunes as that might do something, we’re not sure, but it might help. We are also on Patreon at patreon.com/ClaireRousseau if you would like to support us with money. Or you can just tell people about the show on the Twitters. Our show music is Super Friendly by Kevin MacLeod, find out more at incompetech.com.

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umjulikins · 8 years ago

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1-100!!!!

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?

patricia, and i really hate it actually lol

2. are you artistic?

i like to consider myself to be, though i don’t think so...

3. Have you had your first kiss?

lol yeah, but i feel like a dick not remembering when it was. i thought it was a different time, but i’ve been told otherwise whoops

4. What is your life goal?

being happy and financially stable probably

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person?

actually, i performed at a bernie sanders rally. i have a picture with him, and i’ve also met shailene woodley through the rally. it was hecking neat.

6. Do you play any sports?

if i hear that marching band is a sport one more time, i’m gonna mcfreaking lose it. so, no. i do not.

7. What’s your worst fear?

abandonment or distrust

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration?

oh man, that’s hard to say. i really like jaiden from a youtube channel called jaidenanimations, because she’s so humble and artistically talented.

probably my mom too, she’s number seven on the greatest wonders of the world

9. Do you have any cool talents?

whistling? i can play ukelele? i’m good at crying idk

10. are you a morning person?

it’s so debatable honestly. i hate getting up in the morning, but i love being awake in the morning. so yes and no.

11. How do you feel about pet names?

fuckin love it, give me pet names

12. Do you like to read?

no not at all, it takes me a really good book to get me engaged on reading

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.

parks & rec, supernatural (not bc i loved it but because i befriended people bc of it, i actually am over spn lmao), south park??

14. Do you care about your follower count?

no, because i’m sick and tired of porn bots following me, and they are the huge majority that try to follow me until i block them

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?

hahahahah, i had a dream that me and my bf were taking care of this proportionably large frog that could speak fluent english and was wearing a diaper. to this day, when we call each other bf and gf, it really means “big frog” and “giant frog” bc of my dream.

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

nope, but i’ve dreamt of it.

17. Do you have any pets?

no!!! but we might get a dog pretty soon... 3/4 of the family is all in for a dog.

18. Are you religious?

lmao this sounds pretentious, but i’d say my entire family (along with me) identifies being roman catholic, but i personally consider myself for agnostic. i wouldn’t want to ultimately reject my familial identity because i was raised catholic my entire life, it would be disassociating a part of me. but if it all comes down to my beliefs, i would happily defend people who are a little ignorant against catholicism.

19. Are you a people person?

i used to???? i’m really not anymore, especially with senior year i’m really tired of people’s shit lmao

20. Are you considered popular?

oh definitely not. i don’t mean this in a very modest way either, i mean it in a way that i often disassociate.

21. What is one of your bad habits?

being oversensitive???prolly idfk

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable

cry

23. What would you name your children?

i know i’m homestuck trash but i would legitimately name my child jade. not because of homestuck, but i identify so much relation to the name jade. it’s my favourite colour, my favourite type of plant, and it’s a simple four letter name with a letter j.

in terms of boy names, i really like the names jude or charlie. how fucking weird would it be having two kids name jude and jade though holy shittttt

24. Who’s your celebrity crush?

winona fuckin ryder aka pls adopt me

25. What’s your best subject?

science for sure!

26. Dogs or cats?

unpopular opinion: cats and dogs are both a gift to this world and there’s no reason to point them against each other

27. most used social media besides tumblr?

snapchat, instagram, and then facebook.

28. best friends name

shit.

um i have more than one?? dean, ana, emily, makena, and zany?

29. who does your main family consist of

my mom and dad, and my younger brother.

30. Chocolate or sugar

chocolate

31. have you ever been on a date?

yeah, my first one was ridiculously awkward though

32. Do you like rollercosters?

yeah sure, it’s aight. i have a friend who has a mental list of a bunch of rollercoaster facts, so i refer to him in case i’m really hesitant to go on one.

33. Can you swim?

kinda? i know how to actually swim across water, but i have trouble treading it

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse?

ok here’s where my hiding place would be. and i encourage people to do the same actually.

hide the fuck out in costco. the walls are thick as hell so it’d be a struggle for zombies to break into. costco is spacey as fuck, so you can camp out anywhere and it’d be okay. you pretty much have a life supply of food, as well as other supplies because it’s a mega mart.

you’re good pretty much for the rest of your life if you think about it, i know i would!

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder

i don’t believe so. i’ve never been diagnosed of anything but i also never know.

36. Are your parents together?

yeah

37. What’s your favourite colour?

green, but i can’t decide on any shade of green. i love all the greens.

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

usa! usa! usa!

39. Favourite singer?

currently the 1975 from the top of my head

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

absolutely not, i don’t wish to be

41. Do you like dresses?

yes!!!!!! i love dressing very feminine!!!!! dresses with pockets are the best

42. Favourite song right now?

“lifeboat” from heathers the musical

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

kind of, i’m actually a bit repulsed by sex... but mayhaps in the future when i find the right person?? idk

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

12 y/o i think

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

oh no, not really. kinda intimidating

46. Have you ever done yoga?

not as an active hobby

47. Are you a horror girl?

oh HELL yeah, i’m a horror to this socie––

just kidding, yes i do like horror movies. still scared of it though, but i like it!!

48. Are you good at giving advice?

the irony here is that i’ve been told i do tell good advice, but i NEVER follow my own advice

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

one time, my dad accidentally left the back door locked from the backyard when i was in a kiddie pool. it all of a sudden started raining, and i couldn’t open the door to get inside because it was locked. i was sick the next day.

50. How are you doing today?

honestly, i could be doing better but right now i’m just chilling

51. Were you a cute kid?

i think so!!! i take pride in my days during elementary school....middle school is a different story though.

52. Can you dance?

yes!! it bothers me when people say they can’t dance, when i think anyone can! it’s all a matter of taking pride in your dance moves!! can you take pride in your dance moves?

but, in terms on doing it as a hobby, no! i used to.

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?

i don’t understand this question lmao

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

no, but i actually would love to die the underside of my hair a deep teal/turquoise!!

55. What colour are your eyes?

dark brown, but golden under light. it’s pretty neat.

56. What’s your favourite animal?

i don’t consider this my favourite animal but i still love them a lot

look up the argentine red tegu lizard

also, i really like ladybugs!!

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

always everyday

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

with my mom, yes! i tell her everything, and she’s so sweet and patient!

with my dad, kinda!

59. Do you have good friends?

sure :^)

they just are too far away

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

a lot of people yes! two of my best friends are bisexual, and majority of my friends are allies!

61. What’s your favourite class?

i actually don’t have one, every class that i’ve ever known has some form of annoying the hell out of me

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

none currently as we speak, but i’m waiting for the next season of american horror story and stranger things to appear. i am watching a series of unfortunate events with dean, but we’re only on episode 4 together. it’s been a long time since we’ve watched an episode though, because we always want to watch it together.

63. Are you organized?

somewhat? i am more organized than others, but i’m very great at hiding my disorganization from others to give off the illusion that i am organized.

i like to think that my obsessive compulsive personality is the cause of that honestly.

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

la la land, a fav of mine

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

shit man, there’s a lot of fictional characters i relate with.

veronica sawyer from heathers

jade harley from homestuck

dirk strider from homestuck

heather mcnamara from heathers

lucy van pelt from charlie brown

terra from teen titans

over half of these aren’t from tv though lmao

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

i try to confront it. if i failed even after confronting it, i accept that it’s simply just not meant to be. which sucks if you think about it, but i am way too passive for my well being.

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

traveling, and maybe saving that money for my future children and their college intuition.

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

probably being friends with certain people... there’s a lot of relationships i really regret.

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

being more bitter and negative publicly. people sometimes feel the need to take advantage of others who are considerably weaker than them, and i feel that i often put myself in that position. if i relentlessly take no shit and kinda??? scare people away, i don’t feel the paranoia of getting hurt by others

yikes this is getting negative zero to a hundred real quick

also, i know i’m not really phrasing it right, but hopefully you know what i mean!!

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

but at the same time, i’m also really content where i am now. i know i can improve more internally, but i also don’t really care for change.

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

definitely

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

during christmas break, i went to big bear!!

i also went to las vegas that same break, but it’s not a new place hahaha

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

dean

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

shit, idk i’m still drowning in teen angst at the moment, i’m not doing anything revolutionary or some shit atm

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

a cartoonist. i still kinda wanna be one, especially knowing my art is improving so much, and i’m getting more exposure as an artist, and i’m landing myself on better platforms of art.

but it’s a tough and risky job opportunity. i’d love to do it as a hobby.

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

um, probably my relationship with people now. i don’t have a lot of artsy friends except maybe four; but even so, putting my effort all in an animation project requires a lot of independent work.

probably financial stability too.

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

when i realized that i was slowly losing my closest friend.

i still miss them lmao

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence

financially stable, happily in love with someone who accepts me, in a small home with plants and dogs.

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

i’d probably be on top of my homework, and applying for a full ib diploma

but i wouldn’t really be artistically and musically talented, nor would i have a lot of friends

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

i would consistently changing personas every decade and seek out a whole new lifestyle

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

irresponsibly, realistically

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

future. the past sucks ass no matter what. but years after trump became president and then some, assuming the next president has a lot of cleaning up to do.

85. What motivates you to succeed?

knowing that someone out there genuinely believes in me.

even one person makes a difference.

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

probably being in love in such a young age. albeit it’s lame to assume of such idealistic things like that, but it’s always something worth fighting for. the future sounds brighter if remembering that someone loves you unconditionally.

also i have met more dogs everyday.

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

woods? i really wanna do a lot on my garden if i can!!

88. Do you believe in life after death

i consider it hopeful/wishful thinking, so i wouldn’t be opposed to it being true.

though i think of eternal bliss as a bigger possibility since i was brought up to believe it.

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

my sophomore and junior year english teacher, mrs. beatty. she never forgot about me despite how quiet of a kid i was, and she always believed in my fullest potential.

dr. vanstrom, my human anatomy & physiology teacher is really great too, i consider her a really great teacher, but i have no person relationship with her.

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

my old family friend, christopher, and i were vacationing with our families at lake arrowhead during winter break when i was like, eight i think. there’s this very quaint townsquare near the area we were staying at, and the two of us walked around the townsquare.

we really freaked our parents out though, because they thought that we were lost or kidnapped because we left without supervision or telling them where we were going, but i remember going to a candy store to get gummy bears in the freezing cold.

i wonder how christopher’s doing though.

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

malala yousafzai, just because she’s such an inspiration.

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

it doesn’t take me a lot to cry over anything, trust me.

i cried once because someone’s chocolate meringue pie was delicious.

i cried once because a really fluffy puppy was rolling over.

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

it’s okay to miss people from a distance, but it’s not okay to ask them to come back. i think it’s important that the toxic relationships you decide to refrain from is a very valid and hard decision to make, so i’m proud of you if you get out of it. you deserve so much better to put yourself back into such a vicious cycle.

94. What do you think happens after we die?

everything is black for eternity

95. What would you do if you would be invisible?

?????honestly?????what CAN you do while you’re invisible other than spying people???

invisibility is such a shitty power, i want the power to read minds selectively so i can ace every academic test in the future and be accepted from every job application FUCK

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try?

i can’t really seem to shake the idea of negative thoughts and insecurities. of course it’s inevitable for literally everyone at some point, but it still sucks having

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

no, i really want to give my child the freedom to choose who they want to be or who they want to present themselves as. i as the parent should love them unconditionally

98. How did your first crush develop?

eh, his friend told me that he liked me and i believed it

i shouldn’t have though, because there was really no evidence that he liked me, and he even denied it when his friends straight up told me

thinking about it now, i think he never really did like me, and his friend was just being a dick. and i latched onto that idea which was even worse holy shit

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

yeah dude, i’m sure everyone is though

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

existing for sure.

thanks dude!!!

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