#i think like 90% of these are just alice. funniest bitch alive im in love with her

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𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕄𝕒𝕘𝕟𝕦𝕤 ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕠𝕔𝕠𝕝 (𝕖𝕡. 𝟙-𝟙𝟞) (stupid vers)

a collection of stupid quotes from episode 1-16 of The Magnus Protocol that make it sounds like an office comedy instead of a horror podcast, use as you wish, adjust as needed

It is a privilege and an honour to be horrible in your ears once again.

I care. Not a lot, mind. Don’t flatter yourself.

It’s okay, [Name]; We’re figuring it out, cutie.

Don’t hit on the computer while I’m working on it.

Let me guess- fancy gowns, champagne, bathing in the blood of the poor- that sort of thing?

I'm the patron saint of cute wimps.

It's a good place to canoodle.

That’s cool. Babies are cool.

No one in this entire place will give me a single ounce of respect.

That nearly went very badly.

I'm breaking the boundaries of what it means to dance.

You can be creeped out or sarcastic but not both.

Nice chair. I could look real ominous swiveling in that thing.

Don’t be gross.

Some of us do actual work here. At our job. Which pays us.

Dark love to all my creepy sweeties!

I'm mysterious~

God bless Bitcoin, amiright?

I should probably stop getting tattoos of your face and return all your kidnapped pets.

Thanks, [name]. Utterly useless as always.

Treason's “bussin'” and “fire”, but it won't look good on your CV.

I thought you were a goth?

Your girl is goth- not a ghoul.

Welcome to my twisted mind.