#i think ive been thinking about this too much. im all tangled up and idk what's what anymore

[robbiethompsonlongcon]

so wait. i have questions.

if heaven connects the multiverse, what happens when multiple versions of the same person in multiple AU worlds die? do they all fuse into one entity in heaven? like, is the dean we saw in spnwin an amalgamation of every version of dean that has died and gone to heaven in every universe? what does that mean for a human soul, is each iteration of a human only a fragment of a soul? a clone? or are they individuals? do they all have separate heavens next to one another but fully inaccessible? or can you go next door and hang out with your alternate universe selves? that would be pretty disconcerting..

WAIT NO. no, that cant be right. as cool as i think it is, its not right. obviously there are multiple iterations of heaven, considering that there are multiple iterations of the angels. and it's clearly a Thing that alternate universe heavens aren't supposed to be connected, bc the AU iterations of the angels couldn't just walk through some already-established rift in heaven, otherwise the entire apocalypse world plotline would be completely moot. like, apocalypse michael could have just walked into prime universe through the rift. so how are these situated? is heaven like, partitioned out like this?

(please excuse the utterly shit quality, im drawing with my finger on a cracked phone and im bad at it)

so we have the garden which connects all the heavens, and then heaven prime partitioned off from heaven alpha, beta etc, each one then linked to their respective actual living universe? or is it more like garden -> heaven -> earth, but like sheets of paper all stacked up on top of one another in "the world between worlds" voidspace? how does that work metaphysically.

since theres au heavens and au hells, are there au versions of purgatory, or do all worlds dump all their monsters into the same purgatory? what about the empty? is every version of Cas that died in every alternate universe just piled up in the one singular empty?

(if i was a fic writer, this is where i would write about an empty rescue where dean has to wade through a sea of AU cas. i would also write a self indulgent fic where the benny we are told died in prime universe was not actually benny prime. but i am not a fic writer.)

if there are multiple empties, are there multiple shadows? or just the one, existing in every dimension in the same way that chuck is implied to? did god decide to be chuck in every universe, or are there universes where chuck was "just" a prophet? that would make endverse being a real alternate universe clash a little less w the final seasons.

except there's still the problem of, how could zachariah the middle management sub-choir angel (principality?? seraph?? power?? what choir is zachariah. this is so off topic.) open a portal to an alternate universe but not either of the two most powerful archangels? ive seen great theories about angels being specialists in different areas, e.g uriel smiting towns and cas taking memories (im so fucking sorry i dont remember who posted that, its so good im so sorry) but even so, why didn't apocalypse zachy just open the prime universe for apocalypse michael once he set his sights on it? so im still thinking endverse was a pocket/illusion dimension.

and when prime universe tfw released the darkness, did amara get born in every universe or just the prime one? was she still locked in the mark in other universes? if she's the same.. uhh.. species as god, and his equal, shouldnt she be just as omnipresent in the multiverse? or does that mean each universe has its own iteration of god? or would that mean he created himself? ow. paradox migraine. if prime chuck created every other chuck, then every other iteration is just a facsimile and not truly chuck. and if that's true, did they even really beat chuck by beating him in only one iteration? or can AU chuck just open a portal and idk re-grant himself godpowers? what about AU jacks, are they still nephilim? or did every version of jack become god when prime jack did?

on that note, when chuck started to destroy the multiverse, what happened to amara in those iterations and also in general? was she captive in every universe as long as she was captive in the prime universe? is she even really gods sister, or did he create her for Plot Reasons? bc in other universes, dean still had the mark. or cas had the mark. or cain kept the mark. but amara got free in, and was, as far as i remember, only a threat to, the prime universe.

and how did dean get the letter for john from henry? even if henry gave it to dean in As Time Goes By, i doubt dean carried that particular letter on his person when he died. it could be a heaven thing? anything you want, you just wish for it and you have it kind of thing. but also how did dean get bobby? obviously he went back to the roadhouse at some point? unless the point is that heaven is still an illusion since Somethings Up With Jack, and dean did the same thing with the letter, and just *wished* for bobby who popped up in the car. cause that certainly doesn't seem like a good and equal heaven, if you can just wish someone was with you and poof! they will be summoned to your side without their consent. which would mean that's Not Bobby, it's an illusion. it was never actually bobby.

so did dean even actually make it to another universe? or is he trapped in an illusion and the whole thing was a distraction, which is why jack said no meddling and then proceeded to let dean meddle in the most timeline-destabilizing ways possible, giving his parents the colt and his journal, telling them god exists and is a dick? because it doesn't matter, it never mattered because none of it was real?

im gonna rip out my hair what is this. jensen. JENSEN. what is this. i need to think.

[fir3ylolol]

we want you! pt.2

pairing: Johnny Cage x Reader

tw: vaginal sex, vaginal penetration, afab!reader, riding, seated sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, praise, soft moments, aftercare, sleeping over, quick shower sex, eating out, im incapable of not writing whiny men, i had to write him soft yall he would take such good care of you

a/n: COME GET YALLS DILF!! im so happy w/all the interaction ive been getting, its so reassuring. idk if there'll be a 3rd part, I'm not too sure where to go lol. we shall see!

word count: 2.07 k

other parts

Ao3

“Oh shit,” you sit up, wobbling slightly at the blood rush. “I-I didn’t tell you my name?” You look at him incredulously. “You slept with me even though you didn’t know my name??” Sitting up slowly, he laughs at your surprise, “I mean, it's not like I don’t know you. I know about your family, your studies, your work. You’re not exactly a closed book.” Sighing, you plop back down on the bed, “You’re right, I guess.” As you turn your head to him, you breathe your name out, with Johnny perking up at the sound.

“I like that. It’s good,” he lays back down next to you. He pulls you closer to his chest, whispering, “I think I’ll stick to love though, you always sounded so pretty when I did.” Slightly whining at his words, you stretch your neck up to kiss him gently. He accepts happily, wrapping one hand around the back of your neck to pull you up to deepen the kiss. As you two start making out, his free hand reaches down to grab your bare ass. He slaps it lightly, laughing into your mouth at the way you jump. “Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help myself. Besides, you left one of my questions unanswered.” Tilting your head in a teasing way, you manage to get out, “Keep kissing me and you’ll have your answer.”

He wastes no time in diving back in, using his grip on your ass to pull you on top of him. Resting your legs on either side of him, you tangle your hands in his hair, which is soft under your fingers. He groans lightly at the feeling, of you on top of him, and knowing how close you two are is dangerous. His suspicions are confirmed when you begin to lightly grind against him, quickly growing hard again. He’s a lot more sensitive than before, sensitivity heightened from his very recent orgasm. So when you reach one hand around to grab his cock, it’s his turn to jump, whimpering into your mouth.

“What? I thought you wanted more,” you ask, teasing him with your words. He quickly stops you with another heated kiss, pulling away for air. “I want so much more just…be gentle with the equipment, yeah?” Giggling as you resume the kiss, you rub the fat tip of his cock against your folds, making sure you’re wet enough to take him. And wet you are, hearing it slightly over the sound of Johnny’s moans echoing throughout your head as you two keep kissing. It’s broken again as you finally sink back down onto him, no need to adjust this time. Both of his hands are on your ass now, tight grip on them as he gasps at the feeling of being back inside you. His eyelids flutter as he looks up at you, voice coming out in a barely audible whisper, “S-shit, that’s’good”, words slightly slurring. It’s like he's actually pussy drunk, mouth held agape and pupils blown out.

You sit up, starting to roll your hips in smooth, slow movements. With each bit you move, he whines out more, head thrown back against your comforter. His eyes are still closed as the grip he has on you tightens, and he starts moving your hips faster. Or at least, trying to, since you hold steady and lock your legs against his sides. Now no one is moving, needy whimpers pour from his lips, pleading cries of “C’mon, please baby. This ain’t fair, teasing me like this-”

But you start to move again, finally at the pace he wants. The only difference is that he’s not in control like he would’ve been. No, now he’s looking up at you, eyes rolling back in his head as the hold he had on you is loosened. Leaning forward to press your chest against him, you continue bouncing on him, stoking his cock with your body. He is whining out in the most delicious way in your ear, continuous praises of “Thank you, baby, thank you so much…” His hips occasionally buck up into you, halting the rhythm you have temporarily, which he does complain about. Loudly. Until…

He grabs your hips suddenly, holding you down against him, unable to move. “Wait wait wait…” he breathes out, trying to catch his breath. “Let me just…” You feel him shifting under you, wrapping his arms around you as he sits up. He scoots to the edge of the bed, feet planted on the ground. Looking up at you with sweet puppy-dog eyes, his chin resting on your chest, he smiles as he whispers, “I wanna make you feel good too.” He lifts you off of himself, hands around your waist, and holds you out so you can stand on your own. Once on your feet, he motions for you to spin, lightly touching himself at the sight of you in front of him. Partially confused, you do, back turned to him. He grabs your hips, pulling you back to him and down. As you sit, you slowly sink back down onto him, the new angle causing him to hit the exact right spot. He gently spreads your legs apart, one hand reaching down to rub against your swollen clit, earning a moan from you.

“There we go,” he whispers in your ear, free hand against your waist as he begins fucking up into you, your whole body bouncing against him. Now it’s your turn to be noisy, as the movement against his hand quickly pushes you toward your finish. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, biting and sucking at the skin. Both of you are extremely sensitive, but it seems you’re a little more so, as you lean your head back onto his other shoulder, face scrunched in pleasure.

“S-shit, don’t stop-ah!” You snap forward as you cum, it sneaks up on you in your sensitive state. Johnny bites down harder, a muffled moan vibrating through you. But he doesn’t slow, in fact, he does the opposite, speeding up. Both hands shoot up to wrap around your waist, holding you tight to himself as he continues wildly fucking into you. Finally letting go of the flesh he had trapped in his mouth, he starts spewing obscenities in your ear. “Hah, fuck, you feel so good when you cum baby, holy shit. So fuckin good, I’m losing my mind here. God, where have you been? How could I live this long without pussy this good?”

With only enough energy left to stay with him and let out high-pitched whines, your hands slowly reach up to wrap behind his head. Taking that to mean ‘I need more’, the same hand of his scrambles back down, nearly slipping off you from how wet you are. You let out a strangled moan, vision going black around the edges. Neither of you are very loud anymore, reduced to whimpers and quiet cries, the sound of his body slapping against yours lewdly is all you can hear. You’re brought there even faster this time, almost too much to handle at how sensitive you really are. Quickly, you cum around him one last time, your body falling forward slightly at the total loss of energy as you feel his hips stutter at the feeling. At almost the exact same time, so does he, nasal whines in your ear as he grips your body even tighter. He falls the opposite way, back onto the bed, bringing you with him. You lay there on top of him, head spinning and heavy breaths.

After what feels like forever, he shifts you off him and lays your head on a pillow. Pulling himself next to you, he whispers in your ear, “You need anything? Water? A towel?” Turning your head, you nod slightly and close your eyes. He laughs slightly, but gets up, whispering, “I asked two questions, but that works.” Hearing light shuffling in your kitchen and then the bathroom, he finally returns. He places the towel under you with a proud smile and puts the water on your nightstand. “I found everything love,” he says as he lays back down next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“You did so good dear, so good,” he whispers, kissing your cheek tenderly. After what just went down, you definitely needed this. Your shaky hands reach out and grab the water, taking a gulp. Plopping back down, you turn to him, voice slightly louder than before, “You wanna hang out tomorrow?” He stares at you, almost confused, before snort-laughing at you. “Kind of going in the wrong order, huh?” Huffing, you try to turn over, but he holds you tighter, nuzzling into you. “It sounds amazing. Sounds like a plan. Now, though, you should rest.” Unable to resist how comfortable he is and how tired you are, you quickly succumb to sleep.

Waking up slowly to the sun in your eyes, you notice how sore you are. Everything from the previous night floods in, and you look over to notice that he’s gone. Damn. He seemed so sweet though, and caring, and…and you smell food cooking. Trudging out, heavy feet on the cold floor, you see Johnny, back in just his pajama bottoms, cutting up fruit. He turns at the sound of you entering the room, eyes lighting up as he smiles and walks over to you. “Good morning, sleepy. Feel ok?” You walk directly into him, face against his chest. He laughs, wrapping his arms around you lightly, fingers tracing shapes on your back. “Well, that answers it. I’m glad I got up before you then, I’ve got some food ready. You want some?” Nodding sleepily, he smiles, whispering “Yeah? C’mere.” He leads you to a seat at your table, helping you sit down. He places a plate with fruit and toast in front of you, a glass of water, and a bowl of oatmeal. “I worked with what you had. You should really go grocery shopping.” He sits next to you, face still glowing with happiness. As you eat, he talks about how he slept, that he woke up early to call out of work, and that he can’t wait to spend the day with you.

You finish eating, finally fully awake, and get up to get ready for the day. But Johnny jumps up, lightly grabbing your wrist. “Ah, wait. I don’t want you to get dressed yet…take such a lovely view away from me.” Smiling at him, you turn your wrist so that you’re holding his hand. “Then get ready with me.” You start to lead him towards the bathroom, which he happily follows you to. As you turn the shower on, getting the water nice and hot, he stares at you, a wide smile across your face. “God, I’m so lucky.” You turn to face him, eyes confused, but smile just as wide. “Shut up and get in already.” He quickly follows you in, flinching at the heat, but quickly adjusting. Without wasting a second, he’s pressed you into the corner, lips pressing into yours messily. You lean into him, one hand reaching out to stroke him lightly. But that only lasts so long, as he drops to his knees, lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, and begins lazily eating you out. Obviously still sore, you hiss at the feeling, but it feels so good that you ignore it. His tongue is pressed against you, sucking at your sensitive clit, but only for a little bit. He stands back up, grabbing your hips and lifting you up. You’re pressed into the corner still, as he leans in and guides himself in. Both of you groan at the feeling, bodies still remembering the previous night, but your desires surpass that. 

He’s fucking into you, your legs wrapped around his torso. He uses the stability of the wall and slams his hips into yours. The water is missing both of you as he wildly bucks into you, moaning into open-mouthed kisses. It doesn’t take long at all for him to cum, which he seems kind of embarrassed about, but it doesn’t matter to you. Kissing him lightly as he set you down, you smile up at him and hold his hand tightly. Smiling back, he squeezes your hand back. “Let’s not waste any more water, yeah?

[philzokman]

also guess who’s travelling and needs fic recs again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

omgomgogm IM SO GLAD U ASKED :D i haven’t been reading much fanfic due to exams and illness and also bc i got Reallt into classical literature for a while shit is so hype but i have a few :D

purple - skk

pink - sskk

red - death note

1. the irreplaceable things by blowingyourmind

‘Dazai was introduced to two very important figures in his life that night, One being the dog he nearly ran over, and the other being the fiery redheaded veterinarian who coddled said dog’

THIS SHIT IS INSANE !!! INSANE I TELL U!!!!! au where dazai (pm boss) falls in love desperate hatred!!! for vet chuuya and it’s so ☹️☹️ like the main romance is adorable the side plots are fucking insane (there’s a dog ring ???????) (atsushi does stand up comedy for about three paragraphs KFHAKDHD) it’s genuinely a fucking ride. the authors also really good like even when there are the occasional mistakes it’s Very clear what they mean and i definitely wouldn’t say it removes anything from the story at all HIGHLY recommend KFHSJSHD

2. He’s got a dream by blowingyourmind

‘soukoku tangled au’

i…havent read this yet (a very common theme on this list KDHSH) BUT !!! it’s i think going to be the next fic i read :D it’s a tangled au. A TANGLED AU. SOBS. BREAKS DOWN. THEOWS MYSELF OFF A CLIFF !!!!!!! and it’s written by the same author as rec one who i already love sososo much it looks very cool KFHAKDHD

3. yokohama public high school - almost as crazy as their pep rallies by blowingyourmind (SIDE NOTE: i did not realise all of these were by the same person LFMAODJSH WHOOPSIES (ive been very out of the fanfic loop recently </3))

‘The story of how Chemistry teacher Dazai Osamu fell helplessly for coach Nakahara Chuuya, and the student body's many attempts to get them together.’

again i. haven’t actually read this BUT ITS A TEACHER X TEACHER AU. SOBS ONCE MORE. BREAKS DOWN ONCE MORE. THROWS MUSELF OFF A CLIFF ONCE MORE !!!!!!!!! i fucking love teacher x teacher aus they’re so hype oml KFHSJSH same author as the other two which i. didn’t realise. BUT. i mean it’s a good author what can i say LMFAOHDHSSH anywho it looks sick

4. would kira have gay sex? by itiaskia

no description needed KDHAKSH fun fact! this fic was the catalyst for me pursuing an english lit degree. take that in for a moment LFNAKDHDHSH it’s like 200 words long and idk i think most ppl have read it by now but it makes me giggle FJSHJDDH

5. collide by onizenmaru

‘All it takes is one chance meeting and Atsushi's life slowly becomes tangled up in Akutagawa Ryuunosuke's.

‘This has to be some kind of cosmic joke.’

i haven’t read this fic either😔 but it seems good !!!! it’s also on my reading list but it seems really really sick :D i’m pretty sure i’ve read some of the authors other works too but i might be wrong KDHSJSDH within the like two paragraphs of scanning i did i also saw an ‘oh. oh’ moment but idk what it was about LFMAODJSHDH but the writing seems really good from what i’ve seen :D

anywho!! hope u enjoy so sorry the list is predominantly fics i haven’t read + one crack fic that’s like 2 words long LMFAODJDH this is more of a ‘what am i reading now + what am i going to read!’ list rather than recs but i hope u enjoy them anyways :D if u read any please keep me updated omg i love talking about fics AND TALKING TO U :D KFJAKDHDH i’m going to sleep now (i’m not) BUT ENJOY :D

[undeadhorse]

next time i go to sleep i hope i wake up as a tiny sapient ungulate.

i remember seeing some of the TSU art six months ago and being like, vaguely creeped out by the faces. but since then ive fallen down a personal rabbithole of studying horse anatomy and working hard on my art, and also tangling my gender identity up with my deep seated loving fixation on mlpfim. now all i can see is like, beautiful little horses that are almost perfectly what i have been trying to construct in my head as like, what a my little pony would look like irl. bc if you know anything about the show you know that just having them be irl ponies wouldnt work. these horses can play instruments, you cant do that with normal hooves.

ugh. im not sure what to do. the like, feeling inside of wanting to be a my little pony is like, almost too much sometimes. its like the same feeling as being closeted and trans again. but i cant actually like, transmogrify into a mlp or a tsu. i need to like, chill. before this turns into some kind of body dysmorphia or something. idk maybe thats not gonna happen. i just worry. i dont want to start looking in the mirror at the body i have and hating it like i did when i was a teenager. bc i cant turn into a horse. as much as i want to, as much as i can like, style myself subtly to be horsier. i cant be a horse. and i dont want to set myself up for pain by leaning too hard on this to cope. and giving myself body dysmorphia or something similar. its okay that im human.

its so complicated to be told my whole life im not welcome in any group. and then as an adult lose a lot of my connection to the trans and queer communities thru trauma and like, accidental feedback from my peers telling me again that im not welcome bc im disabled and have trauma. or bc im not comfortable with words like f****y. i have been told over and over again that im not welcome by so much of society that im like. i dont feel like im human. i feel like im a monster. not in a horrible i hate myself way. just like. if humans keep telling me im not welcome then maybe ill embrace it and be a monster, and thats something thats been bubbling in me for years and years.

but now this mlp thing. ive rediscovered mlp. it has filled a hole in me. it has buoyed me and become my muse and allowed me to start the process of reclaiming my life and building things for myself. its this font of great things for me. but im worried im leaning too much on it to cope with the new stresses in my life.

im hurting and overwhelmed and that is turning into an intense yearning to be a my little pony in equestria. so bad some days it actually hurts. which makes me think maybe the coping mechanism is breaking down and i need to re-evaluate things.

[ankhisms]

going 2 briefly use my blog as my diary im doing ok rn dont worry im just wanting to muse about some thoughts and feelings on things

its been maybe like... four months maybe or something like that since my oldest friendship just suddenly fizzled out where for ten years we would talk literally every day and then suddenly for no reason i can think of he just stopped responding to me. we have each other on snapchat and the most interaction weve had is sending each other pictures of our pets and stuff occassionaly and sometimes exchanging a little bit of chatting about whatever we sent to one another on there but its like.. very much not the same yknow. like i guess were still on good terms at least i think we are i have nothing but deep love for him in my heart but at first i was so confused and hurt, we hadnt gotten into an argument or anything everything was completely normal and then one day he just stopped talking to me. ive been really sad about it off and on but this past like month or so i think that ive just come to accept it and its not hurting me as much. i do sometimes still feel sad about it, but im glad that we still have some contact even if its just sending pictures of our cats, and now im almost realizing that maybe this is for the better. idk thats not really the right wording for it but i feel like i tangled my own existence up in his for so long that maybe it contributed to my issues with my sense of self (not at all blaming him for that) and ive felt like. lighter recently where i know that i cant force someone to talk to me and i cant change how someone else feels. all i can do is care and have compassion and try my best, and ive already been trying and reaching out and i cant force someone to take my hand when i reach out to them with it. and like.. i do think that there were some times when we were younger that he didnt treat me fairly or was kind of shitty, but we were kids and i dont hold that against him or think that hes shitty now but it makes me worried that hes somehow going back to unhealthy mindsets or habits. idk part of me feels like maybe it boils down to us somehow becoming different people even though it didnt feel like anything was wrong at all or like we were drifting apart or becoming too different to still be friends. and yeah i guess thats all to say that im thinking about it and him and im sad about it but not in a soul crushing overwhelming way but in a way where i go i love you i hope youre well even if you dont want to walk through life together anymore

something else thats been nagging at me recently is just how looming and big my self doubt is and how much i struggle with confidence and not only not believing in myself but also being overcome with the feeling that no one believes in me. rationally i know that feeling isnt true and that theres so many wonderful people in my life who support me and believe in me but its linked to my paranoia issues and is really hard to shake off. i know that theres no easy solution to having insecurities like this and that really you have to just keep moving forward and trying your best despite them, but it can be really difficult in my situation where im essentially trapped in a toxic home and isolated by my parents who control as much of my life as they possibly can and i think because of that along with a life time of abuse its a lot harder for me to even to begin to build up confidence or push away the feeling of no one believing in me even if again, i know this is not rational or true

anyway thank you if you read this ily again im fine i feel alright rn i just needed to get some thoughts out. i want to learn to believe in myself and to be confident in myself

[clippy]

if they put you in charge what would you put in the new disneyland expansion zone

this is pretty much confirmed already (by which I mean it's been brought up like, twice, and a photo of it was in a pamphlet someone gave me), but the TRON coaster....... i miss my wife (tho ideally i would want this added in during a GIANT tomorrowland overhaul rather than put into the disneyland forward area)

anyway uh. as far as other stuff goes... i genuinely have no idea. like, blue skying it, i would want it to be entirely new, theme park specific IP! like bring back some discarded old imagineering ideas for it, clone something original from an international park or something. idk. im not picky.

it wouldnt happen but a Dinoland USA clone would be so funny considering Dinosaur and Indy have the same track... but i want my friend Dr. Seeker to be known to the Disneyland goers because he is probably my 3rd favorite parks character

if i had to pick movie-based IP stuff, my top pick would be the disney villains land that's been... kinda hinted at for magic kingdom? i feel like that would go over INCREDIBLY well here, considering how popular the oogie boogie bash is lmao.

as far as my opinions on what's possibly coming in, since i dont have any ideas of what i would IDEALLY want...

zootopia land is in the rumor mill which i would be okay with if it wasnt. zootopia. the attraction for it is a trackless police chase ride with Judy and Nick... having this so close to LA (since LAPD is awful + SoCal in general is rife with fatal police chases) is in poor taste so that is one thing i DONT want.

also not a huge fan of the rumored Wakanda land cuz that just feels....... weird? they have to make it "canon" so idk, seeing a bunch of white people running around it (both as guests and likely CMs, too) seems tone deaf to the movie's message? i say this as a white person though. but maybe im missing something, and im sure it would be cool as fuck to see an incredibly important part of the MCU as a black kid, but again, not a perspective i have, and im sure there's a bunch of nuances im overlooking etc etc. esp since i dont care for the MCU and dont keep up with that stuff lol

other possible stuff ive seen thrown around are....

a Pandora clone which i feel indifferent about (mainly because Na'vi river journey sucks, and neither it or flight of passage are particularly high capacity rides, which the DCA part of the expansion will DESPERATELY need; Pandora is speculated to be in the DCA side)

world of frozen clone, which, again, i feel indifferent about. i thought it was going to be a fantasy springs clone (which is what Japan has and it's frozen, peter pan, and tangled) so finding out it's likely JUST frozen (based on what the park president recently said... tho looking, the DLF site still mentions peter pan and tangled) and will have that short ass kiddie coaster is a bummer

toy story land, which i will be OK with if we get a good version of the land... which is likely since our midway mania is already in pixar pier, which in theory gives us room for slinky dog dash + some flat rides... slinky dog dash is mandatory so i can see my friends Mr. Mike and Wheezy

anyway i just think it's funny how we might get an entire third theme park's worth of stuff greenlit when we STILL dont have any idea what that avengers E-ticket at avengers campus is gonna be LOL... curious what all is gonna get confirmed if the city of Anaheim approves this next month, or if we will have to wait until August to hear more at D23

[chaudharis]

hey ! would YOU like to know more abt him? awesome because im gonna dump my design notes and lore notes for him here for funsies! i just wanted to make an info post for him! thank you for reading if you do!

its a bit of a long one btw, so apologies for thwt. i am very much open to ideas and suggestions for developing this little. interpretation? au? whatever you might call this. feel free to play around with him as u like hes not my oc :^] just a fun idea

DESIGN NOTES:

i want to make it clear most of the design stuff is bc i thought it was cool. then i bullshit my reasoning behind it. remember this.

i also dont know how exactly to organize this so smth more lore related might be in the design section and vise versa. i dont care enough to make this better

also design is still very subject to change because i enjoy constantly fiddling with things. fun! might update if its different enough.

uses mostly reds/purples to directly complement athetos's greens and blues. trace takes comfort in this, for the most part.

just a fun idea but i rhink its neat to have traces Not Human-ness be biological, to contrast with indras being entirely technological/robotic. adds to their parallels. (and both of them being physical at all is a parallel to hammond being fucking dead /j)

wonder why his mouth has those faint marks at the corners? because it can do this now!

why you might ask? i dont know. ask someone else. i thiught it was cool. the orange line on #3 is supposed to indicate where his mouth normally wouldve ended. so he has a wider mouth technically!

hes much more movement based now! since this also acts as a fun idea for what if in a future av game(s) we got gameplay that was even more abt the movement. so hes pretty good at parkour now. specifically climbing. ive been imagining he moves a lot like u do in celeste, except probably more stamina and faster climbing. less focus on dashing. but he can air dash too!

he has his gun i promise he has the gun i just dont like drawing it it sucks to draw

yea so he is covered in carapace, since ive had to scrap that with a different chatacter (if you know, you know) i get to put it on the same character but in a different direction. i can do whatever i want forever.

size comparison over his weird. tentacle things idk what ud call them exactly. they got bigger because i can do anything. also bc when i originally drew them i didnt look up a ref (i rarely use refs for charas and prefer to go off of memory unless i need to) and so i was like ok so thwyre big right? right. well turns out theyre not. but guess what. now they are. it is so awesome for him

for funsies i think trace can put stupid shit in his hair. its a tangled mess stuff will very easily stay in there. he hasnt brushed it in years man. he always forgets what he puts in there btw so its always a surprise for him

oh also his labcoat also is Different but i cant figure out what hed have that isnt already in av1. so imagine he does smth new WOW WOW SO COOL !

LORE NOTES:

this whole hashtag Look is either from the original bioflux mutation getting worse or a few different ones. i havent decided which one i wanna go with. either way this is a gradual change. it will get worse!

see i dont have much for What hes doing because i dont have any ideas for what the rusalki are doing now so thats very much up in the air. all i have rn is that hes helping them somehow. not of his own choice really.

has a very. Not Great relationship with the rusalki. hes incredibly bitter about his situation (lack of any real control) and so. well they arent besties. hes a lot more snarky and rude to them. which is fair i think how would you feel in a situation like that huh. not so great huh.

his best friend is oracca bc shes the only person who hasnt lied to him and has only been helpful and he loves to chill with her. she never speaks or does much of anything but thats fine with trace, he doesnt mind. likes to do the rubber duck thing with her (says thing out loud to pin point whats wrong with whatever hes working on). she also doesnt mind id like to think

hes. a little more aggressive but as a defense mechanism. hes in hostile territory all the time and under incredible stress all the time, can you blame him realky? stress can make people aggressive, it turns out. crazy.

also with this, i say hes more aggressive but hes just more all bark no bite. hes like this

but if you take like, anothwr step closer hes like this

see. hes still kind of a weenie dw. i understand

he really wants to be kinder again. but hes not in a situation where he can. this kills him

also! heavy unreality issues. this is what happens when you spend months if not years thinking ur living ur life as usual until it gets revealed actually you were in a dream simulation the whole time. unrelated but i think he hates the movie inception.

the unreality is still a massive issue but he copes with it by after so long just going "ok well ill just assume Everything is a dream no matter what because the opposite would be horrifying and i have no evidence that disproves this. but i can act like i dont think this on the off chance rhat it is real. but i know its not"

doesnt come up much at all because hes not ever around someone New but he is pretty self conscious about how he is now. i think hes also a very touch swnsory person so he develops lots of touch related tics. like when nervous he starts to pick at himself, runs hands through hair a lot, etc etc. very touchy. with the parts hes most self conscious abt.

massive identity issues, especially because of his distinct lack of humanity. how can he really be trace anymore if hes changed so much, etc etc. those questions. he can feel his connection to The Trace Identity sorta fading as he becomes his own kinda guy away from this but it fucking sucks for him. because if hes not trace then what is he. who is he. if you tell him athetos hed curl up and cry

speaking of curling up and crying, thats what hes kinda doing a lot internally. he really wants to go home man and for real this time he wont want to go back to sudra this time he promises. but also if he does go back he will be 100% convinced that isnt real. which is fair

if you ask him how long hes been there he'll tell you "a few months, i think." this is not true, he has been there for years doing somethinh, couldnt tell ya what tho!

Generally Not Doing Too Great On Many Levels But Hes Dealing With It

ok thats abt all i can think of atm? ill update this if needed. otherwise hi if you read this ur very kind and i appreciate that. it feels nice when people read my stuff. makes me feel good :^] i hope you feel good today too. today is a good day

[lostnfinding]

just breathe

idk if i already posted this, but i cant find it so im doing it again.

originally posted to my ao3

tw: hospital, sickness, references to the shit H*nry did to Bessie

word count: 2654

-------------------------------------------------------

The last thing Bessie expected was the sharp but familiar pain on her chest. She hadn’t felt it on almost 500 years but there was no way she could forget it. The shortness of breath, the urge to cough and the weight on her lungs were too strong and all she knew was that she needed to find Catalina. She felt tears on her cheeks and rushed to find the first queen, sharp breaths leaving her body, still feeling like she wasn’t getting enough oxygen. She got to Aragon’s dressing room, opening the door to be met by her eyes looking at her through her reflection on the mirror.

“What happened, cariño?” she asked, seeing her panicked look and red, puffy eyes.

“It hurts, Lina… I can’t- I can’t breathe.” She managed to choke out and Catalina opened her arms, welcoming the smaller girl, who buried her head on her neck.

“It’s okay, querida, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” The woman said, stroking her hair. “How about we skip the show today and go home?” she asked.

“Hmhm” Bessie hummed in agreement, her voice weak and whimpering.

“Okay, let’s get out of these costumes and get out of here.” Aragon said and helped her with getting ready, after telling the others that they were going home and got an alternate for each. When they got in the house, Bessie changed and laid on her bed.

“Do you thing it’s it again?” she asked quietly as Catalina tucked her in.

“No, estrellita, no. You took your shot, remember? We all did. You’re okay.” She said and kissed her head. Then she started to cough. A lot. Immediately, the queen scooped her up into her lap, rocking them side to side. “Let it all out, cariño, I’m here.” For minutes, all that was heard on the house was the girl’s loud cough and Aragon’s sweet voice whispering that she was going to be okay while holding her close and caressing her back. Ten minutes passed and Bessie finally stopped coughing.

“Lina” She whimpered, her voice was weaker than before, and now raspy.

“I’m not going anywhere, estrellita, I promise.” Aragon reassured her, kissing her hairline.

“I’m scared. I don’t wanna die.” The girl said and she shook her head.

“I’m not going to let that happen, cariño, you’re going to stay with me.” Catalina sounded so sure, but inside she was terrified. What if Bessie’s body was giving up and dying, the same way it did centuries ago? No, she couldn’t think about that, not right now. So she hugged her closer, letting the girl curl up on her lap, her small and sweaty body shaking with fear and weakness as she nuzzled her chest. “Do you think you can try to get some sleep? It might make you feel better.”

“But what if I stop breathing?” Bessie asked her, her voice filled with worry.

“You won’t. But I’ll be right here.” Catalina told her. “Do you want me to sing your lullaby?” when they came back to life, Bessie had constant nightmares and the woman had discovered that the Spanish version of Twinkle, twinkle little star calmed her down and put her back to sleep. That’s where the nickname came from.

“Please…” she said and Aragon smiled softly.

“Estrellita, ¿dónde estás?/Me pregunto quién serás/En el cielo o en el mar/Un diamante de verdad/Estrellita, ¿dónde estás?/Me pregunto quién serás/Cuando el Sol se ha ido ya/Cuando nada brilla más/Tú nos muestras tu brillar/Brillas, brillas sin parar/Estrellita, ¿dónde estás?/Me pregunto quién serás” After she finished the song, Bessie was already asleep, her breathing still shaken and weak, but calmer. She couldn’t bring herself to leave the room, or put her back down on the bed, resorting to just let her sleep on her lap, leaning on the pillows. She mumbled a few other lullabies, hoping they would calm her down and make her body go back to normal. She couldn’t lose her, she wouldn’t bare it. She couldn’t protect her on their last lives, but she wouldn’t let anything happen to her again.

A few hours passed and they stayed like that. Aragon didn’t dare to fall asleep, too scared of what would happen if she did, so she waited for the others to get home so someone could watch her. When they got there, Anne and Maggie perused her into going to eat something, changing places with Maggie, who stayed on their shared room, paying close attention to her. Still, after a few minutes, Catalina came back to the room, the unsettling feeling still with her. Something was wrong with her little girl and she didn’t know what it was, but she was going to do what she could to find out.

She slept in Bessie’s room, while Maggie went to hers. Well, she spent the night in Bessie’s room. She barely got one hour of sleep, too scared that if anything happened she wouldn’t notice if she wasn’t awake. And there she was, watching her sleep, the sharp breaths cutting her heart like shards of glasses, but it was better that the agonizing seconds when she didn’t breathe. Catalina was waiting for her to wake up, so they could go to the Emergency Room that had all of their charts, so the doctors had a bit more of insight. The thing is, waking up a tired and sick teenager isn’t an easy task, and she didn’t want to disturb her, so she waited. She waited until 7am, when Bessie’s 8th coughing fit woke her up, causing the panicked girl to come to her senses, struggling even more to breathe with the sudden way of being woken.

“It’s okay, estrellita, you’re okay.” She repeated the fraise over and over again, until Blount stopped coughing. “There we go. You’re doing great, querida.”

“It hurts, Lina.” She was crying, maybe from all the coughing, maybe from pain, or maybe even from fear, most likely all three. “Make it stop, please.” She sounded desperate.

“Do you think you can get ready? I’m taking you to the doctor’s, is that okay?” Catalina told her and watched as she nodded, before helping her get up. “Do you need any help?”

“I think I can do it…” the girl said and Aragon gave her a small smile.

“I’ll be just in my room.” She told her before going down the hallway and getting in her room, sitting on the bed.

“How is she?” Anne sat beside her, getting her hand.

“I don’t- I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on. She’s scared and in pain and there’s nothing I can do about it. I just- I can’t lose her, Anne, I can’t.” she broke down, letting Boleyn hold her as she cried.

“She’s strong, and medicine today is so much better, she’s going to be okay.” She kissed her head, stroking the back of her hand. “I heard you’re taking her to the hospital. Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t know how long we’ll be there. I don’t think we’re going to do the show.” Aragon said and Anne nodded.

“Of course not. I’ll call and see who can go in for you.” She smiled.

“Thank you, Anne.”

“Anything you need, babe.” She said before, her hand a squeeze and kissing her cheek before going out of the room. Catalina changed quickly, getting a few things before going back to Bessie’s room, seeing her sat down on her bed.

“Hey. Do you think you can eat anything?” she asked the girl, who shook her head as a negative, staring into nothing. She got into the room, taking the backpack she was holding. “Can I take it?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Thank you.” The teen said quietly and got up, stumbling a bit.

“Careful, mi amor. Let me help you.” Aragon guided her down stairs and into the car, putting her backpack on the back seat.

“Wait, Lina? Can you get Sky on my bag?” Bessie asked quietly and Catalina gave her the stuffed elephant and went to the driver’s seat.

They got to the hospital in a few minutes, going to the children’s E.R., passing in triage relatively fast. Bessie was rushed to see a doctor, who, as soon as she saw her, did a quick exam and took her to one of the side rooms, where she ordered a bag of saline and IV nutrition, and an oxygen tank. The girl looked a bit confused with what was going on, but let a nurse put the IV line and oxygen cannula in her without any protest. Catalina sat on the chair beside her, stoking her hair.

“Are you feeling better, estrellita?” she asked her after half an hour.

“I feel like I can breathe better, but it still hurts. A lot.” Bessie answered, and as if in cue, she started coughing profusely, quietly crying out in pain as she sat up.

“Shh, it’s okay, cariño. Get it all out, I’m here.” Aragon said, rubbing her back. With each cough, her heart got tighter, and she felt like she was going to break down. It was all too familiar, the symptoms lined up and she looked so weak. Bessie’s already small and pale body looked even more fragile, the tips of her fingers and her lips were turning a purple-ish blue and the monitors that were attached to her didn’t show numbers the queen liked. When she stopped coughing, the girl whimpered in pain and curled up on herself, holding on to her stuffed animal for dear life, and she stayed like that, not moving, the wires attached to her tangling on each other, until the doctor came in.

“How are we now?” she asked with a small smile, taking the stethoscope from its place on her pocket and putting it on her ears. “Can you sit up for me, sweetheart?” she asked and Bessie slowly got up.

“She’s been having a few coughing fits every while, says she still feels a lot of pain.” Catalina told her, and she nodded.

“Take a deep breath, please.” She asked and Bessie tried, but started coughing midway through it. “Can you do it again?” that repeated a few more times. “You can lay back down if you want to.” The girl nodded and went back to her previous position, burring her head on the pillow. “Alright. Elizabeth’s situation is a bit… unconventional, to say the least, but I talked to a few doctors who had seen a ten of you before and we concluded that she most likely has a lot of scar tissue on her lungs, which makes it harder to breathe.”

“So she has scars, but inside of her?” Catalina asked, trying to see if she was understanding.

“Yes, we think she does, we still have to do a CT scan to confirm, but is probable. But the problem with this type of scar is that it obstructs the passage of air, making it harder for her to breathe.” The doctor told her and she nodded.

“But why didn’t it show up later?” Aragon looked at the small girl on the bed, her heart filled with worry.

“Well, we still need to do a few tests to see, but I think it can be because it’s progressing. Has she had other lung problems these recent years?”

“She had a few cases of bronchitis on the first couple of years we were back.” She remembered the nights she spent awake, too scared to leave the girl’s side, fearing she might stop breathing at any second; nights just like the previous.

“Alright. We’ll see how the scans and exams come out and then see how we’ll treat it.” The doctor said and left the room.

“I’m gonna die, aren’t I?” Bessie’s weak voice was filled with emotion, though it seemed like she was trying to hide it. “I don’t wanna die. I got a second chance, I just wanna be normal.” She whispered and Catalina caressed her head.

“You’re not going to die, mi amor. I promise.” She said. “And I’ll be with you, whatever happens.”

“If I die…” Bessie started, but Aragon opened her mouth to speak. “Please listen, Lina. If I die, I have a hard drive on my wardrobe. It has a few songs I wrote, I want you to listen to it. I saved a few videos too. If anything happens, I want you to keep it.” She looked up at her and Catalina kissed her forehead.

“Alright, I’ll do that.” She said and hugged the girl. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you before, but I’m going to do everything I can now, I promise, estrellita. I love you so much, Bessie, my little girl.” She buried her head further on her chest.

“Mamá?” she tried and Catalina nodded.

“I’m here, cariño, I’m here.” She reassured her.

“I love you too. You couldn’t do anything back then, I don’t blame you.” Bessie said, and curled up further into Aragon’s chest, crying out in pain once more.

“Shh, don’t try to speak, save your breath.” She said and started mumbling to their lullaby.

They spent a while like that, until a nurse came to take the girl to CT, leaving the queen alone with her thoughts. Not being able to do anything, she texted the others, giving a small summary of what was going on. She felt so lost, not knowing what was going on or how she could help was crushing her. The minutes felt like hours and she was doing her best not to cry. Finally, Bessie came back with the nurse and scans, followed by the doctor.

“So, I saw Elizabeth’s scans, and she does have severe scaring on her lungs, and she has something called hypoxemic lung failure.” She turned to the girl. “From what you’ve told me, you’ve probably had it for a while. Basically what it means is that the scaring on your lungs obstructs the oxygen passing, causing you to feel tired and out of breath.” The doctor told them.

“But why didn’t it show symptoms before? Why did it show up so suddenly? Wouldn’t it be slow?” Aragon asked her.

“Well, that’s a good question. Have you been feeling more anxious, tired or confused? Maybe restlessness, sweating easier?” she looked at the girl.

“I- maybe? I don’t know… I thought it was just fatigue or stress, but now that you said it I’m not sure…” she answered quietly.

“Bessie! What was the agreement we made in order for you to do the show?” Catalina didn’t sound mad, she sounded worried but still firm.

“I’m sorry. I love doing it so much, and it’s going to open so many doors, I’ve already got universities that want me…” the teen started but Lina gave her a small smile and shook her head.

“I’m not mad, mija, I’m worried. But we’ll talk later, okay?” Bessie nodded and they turned back to the doctor.

“I’d like to admit you, mainly for precaution, at least a few days before we settle with your treatments.” She said.

“Alright.” Catalina’s voice was shaky, scared, but she knew it was the right thing to do. “We’ll get someone to drop off our things.” She nodded and looked at Elizabeth, caressing her forehead.

“I’ll send a nurse to take you to the room and get paperwork sorted out.” The doctor smiled and left the room, leaving the two alone.

“I’m sorry, Mamá. I didn’t know it was bad. I didn’t want to disappoint you.” Bessie curled up more to Aragon’s side, who hugged her.

“You could never do that, mija. I’m so proud of you, no matter what. What other teenager juggles school, college applications and four shows a week while getting used to the modern world and having to relearn so much?” she looked her in the eyes. “You’re going to be okay, Bessie.”

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

I have a few different asks(both Disney), but I’ll start with one. I thought of this cause there’s a chance of me going to Disneyland either this summer or maybe the fall or winter time. I’m so hyped and just feel like this big kid despite being 18. Anywho, the first question is what Disney character would the papas (including Nihil),Copia,&imperator be? Idk why but nihil gives me Mad Hatter vibes, but hey it’s up to you :) (I may just be saying that cause I love Alice in Wonderland)

.This is god tier i dont think we’ve done this yet but if we have i do not care i will do it again and youre getting more of them than you asked for. 

also i havent been to disney since i was 5 and i am very jealous and happy for you that you might be going soon!!! tell us how it is !!! (also wtf 18 is Not too old to be excited about going to disney i dont know anyone who wouldnt be excited for that) 

Nihil: I think its REALLY interesting that you picked mad hatter for Nihil. Like so much so that i dont even know where to begin in unpacking that and I would have Never thought of that on my own. But I fuck with it, and you bet your ass you’re right, so if you’d like to explain why you think so in a reblog i would LOVE nothing more than to hear it. 

Sister: I could go anywhere with this really. Do i give the lady a redemption arch from everything unsavory ive said before? do i keep her as shallow a character as she is in canon? decisions. However God Damn Obvious, she’s the red queen from alice in wonderland. A tyrant but for sexy reasons (i.e the love of Nihil). She runs the show and if you don’t know it in your mind, you know it in your heart. doesn’t like someone? beheads them. youre gonna tell me im wRoNG?

Papa I: Captain Hook from Peter Pan, but in his old age, he’s a little more Captain Feather Sword from The Wiggles. Angery man whos trying to kill the protagonist and whats that fucking ticking noise and being pissed off by an animal that follows him is all very Papa I.

Papa II: my sweet sweet man is The Beast from beauty and the beast. I know i already wrote that as a whole au thing but i really fuck with it. Everyone thinks hes an angry old fuck, and sometimes he is, but his heart has always been kind and he’s always willing to change for the better for those he loves. 

Papa III: Flynn Rider from Tangled. I was really close to choosing Gaston from the beauty and the beast but I was Wrong and this is why. Flynn has a lot of the qualities of Gaston (a little cocky, sometimes kind of a dick) but III has much more of heart than Gaston does and that’s easily shown in Flynn. We have good character development, sex appeal, a hint of arrogant confidence at surface level, but you know he’s loyal til the end and would do anything for the people he cares about. (ps im kinda glad they didn’t give gaston a single god damn inch of redemption arch) 

Cardinal Copia: If you didn’t IMMEDIATELY think Jafar you can unfollow like absolutely the only correct answer. I won’t explain this because I literally don’t have to like Jafar and Copia have the same fucking character plot.

Dewdrop, Cirrus, and Swiss: Respectively, Lock, Shock, and Barrel from Nightmare Before Christmas (Oogie’s boys) Trouble makers, general fuckery causes. I think they could do a lot of damage as a trio but they aren’t usually the head of the operation, which is why they’re together. Dewdrop doesn’t think enough, Swiss doesn’t have enough manpower for any of his plans, and Cirrus is a little too evil, for them all to work alone. (Honorable mentions: Stitich for Dew, Milo from Atlantis for Swiss, and 

Rain: Woody from Toy Story BC Love and somtimes a little bit of Chaos as a treat 

Aether: Sebastian from The Little Mermaid, also for obvious reasons. helpful (i wont use the word sidekick) to whoever he’s with, playful, god cant everyone just fucking do what theyre supposed to for ONCE energy 

Mountain: Baloo from The Jungle Book. Big boy. Hard Chiller. It’s free real estate

Cumulus: Mulan. BASMF. in control and that’s fucking that i will not be taking questions 

- Kat

[movedthechangingman]

(1) I am watching atla for the first time and I know why zuko redemption worked while other’s (kylo, catara) failed, Zuko always has honor and was shown to care and make good decisions and be a good person even at his lowest points, like when he cared about his crew or tried to help and save a little kid even though the family and the kid ended up rejecting him, he never did something outrageous and he had time to learn and sort out his feelings before making a turn around and join the gang

putting this under a cut!

(2) azuko always acted upon what he believed was the right thing, once he was exposed to the outer world he learned how awful the fire nation was and the chain of abuse he was living in, he by himself made the decision and has 2 season in order to redeem himself while characters like Cassandra (tangled) and Catra had seasons of upping the stakes and acting more and more awful each time and only one season where the narrative are like “they were under someone else control and they were abused” (3) “so they nice blonde best friend who acts more like their sister and who they were abusing and victim blaming has to forgive them for everything bad they did because they were uwu abused too” and it seems many people like that which fine, if this was characterized as a delicate situation, where it could turns bad, which could turn to be even toxic, I wouldn’t have a problem with, but it is framed as beautiful and as good and as “true love!” (4) without the main aggressors Catra and Cassandra putting as much in their relationship as their blonde counterpart Adora and Raps who are forced to act as a matyr till they get fed up with their friends abuse and toxicity and put their foot down yet they always end up forgiving their abuser’s transgressions by the end somehow, it seems like the classic tale of “if he pulls your hair or means he likes you” which it’s most similar to (5) To the honeymoon or the reconciliation stage of an abusive relationship cycle’s, nothing assures you that the abuse won’t continue on but they sell it out as this wonderful and beautiful love story which it’s plain wrong, and I feel that it doesn’t receives as muy flack because it’s F/F but in reality in a relationship one has to be consistently good and reliable and as a bisexual women I feel like they are doing a disservice and it’s worse because it’s directed towards kids (5) and lastly both Wlw parings were being either outright mentioned or hinted at by the show or crew as this characters having a “sister bound” with Cassandra and Rapunzel Being outright being described as sisters in the show and Catara and Adora being described as that by the crew and with them growing having the same motherly figure and having a clear case of golden and scapegoat child, which coupled with the abuse they suffered at hands of their paternal figure and at each other hands makes the situation very gross

i have never seen ATLA outside of the first 3 eps but that is the general consensus ive heard. i have also never seen rapunzel TAS but i watched/read a bunch of spoiler stuff for it but i think my understanding is still loose. i also heard that he wasnt a villain very long idk how true that is though. but youre right from what im reading! i think it is important for your character to have an appropriate amount of time to make up for their actions... its also important with these redemption stories for the character to address the things they did, like not a “sorry for the things or whatever” but “i am sorry i did x , x, and x” etc IMO and there needs to be work put into making things right. and the victim should not necessarily be the one pushing them through that...

like i can say for certain if c*tra was a dude there would be a HUGE discourse about the fact that yeah, she really is that “mean because they have a crush on you” BS and whats most horrifying is that it seems like noelle saw NO problem with how she portrayed that relationship and all the guilt and suffering adra went through bc of ctra was really supposed to be romantic. fcking insane. like if it was just a fandom ship w.e.... ppl always gonna ship characters if they hate eachohter... but the actual creators saying its romantic is SO WTF abuse isnt negated by it being el gee bee tee rep and whats awful is i think people REALLY believe it is. not to mention uh your WLW love interest being an physically + emotionally volatile fascist who canonically does not care that she goes out to her way to aid violent takeover of innocents for a dictatorship is already like. huh.

(i mentioned also like even seagawk and mermista - her constant “uuuugh youre so annoying” about him is supposed to be cute apparently.... like noelle posted a pic of her in a shirt that says “im with stupid” pointing at seahawk and... like... that would be funny if they had healthy communication and she didnt seriously treat him like he was an idiot 24/7... but if this was reversed it would be a huge problem and everyone would flip out.)

i never thought catra and adora were written very sisterly since its undeniable that there was a clear attraction between them in the early part of the show but holy fck if the crew did say that.... ugh... although i agree it is really skeevy that their plot revolves around an abusive mother which i feel inforces the “adoptive siblings arent real siblings” pseudo incest trope as much as i think the interactions between catra and adora were not sisterly in how they were written. if that makes sense

i hate to bring up SU but i think it covers this topic really well w spinel - whos so toxic she literally poisoned people - while steven does set her on her path, he does not make himself responsible for her redemption. we get a snippet of that later ofc - where we see that she is trying to become better while also helping the other abusive characters through their change (which we also see is still ongoing - those behaviors havent been fully unlearned - nothing can be fixed that quickly). and most notably the victim (steven) while tolerating them through their attempts at change and encouraging them, does not forgive them and makes an open effort to distance himself even while his abusers still want him to help them 24/7.

whats bothering me the most is not that ppl enjoy these ships bc no matter what people will and you cant stop them but rather that ppl refuse to admit that something they like is abusive - either bc they want to save face as a unproblematic fandom blogger or bc they are 100% unwilling to take critique on something they like, to the point where now ppl wont accept any criticism on she ra at all as a show even if it has nothing to do w the awful excuse for romance.

[thotantics]

⚤   pairing — reader + Jeon Jungkook

✎ word count — 2,143

✦ genre — smut

✗ warnings  — graphic description of sex, dom!jungkook, dom!reader, choking, dirty talk, forced face fucking, spitting, spanking, creampie

[summary] in which jungkook gets tired of you taking control when you try to choke him and decides that he’s done letting you be in charge. aka “what happens when two doms fuck?”

[A/N] haha idk wtf im doing but heres this unedited self indulgent jungkook nonsense. tagging @indecisivemultifandomscum who a while back brought dom!kook back to my attention and uhhh ive just been thinkin some thots ab that ever since rip in peace my pussy

Jungkook was certain he’d never been more hard in his life, and you were still teasing him. He was at your mercy in the beginning, enjoying the ride. But he wasn’t going to be able to keep it up for much longer. He was only so strong, he could only put up with so much before something in him snapped and he couldn’t control himself.

Having you under him while he felt like this was a mind fuck. Submissive and pleading with you while you were just laying there on your back, taking his cock, it felt like the thread that was keeping him held together was stripping bare with every stroke of his dick to your insides.

“Make me cum, baby.” You moan up to him, feet planting on the edge of the kitchen table. His hips snap harder forward at your command, cock piercing deep into your cervix. His head lulls back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he exposes his throat to you. Showing that you’re still in control, you reach up to wrap your fingers around his pretty neck but find that he’s just out of your reach. Instead, your nails have to settle for clawing down towards his pecs. His eyes roll back and flutter shut, chuckling through a crooked smile.

“I don’t think you deserve to cum yet, noona. Not until I say so.”

The whirlwind of emotions that flicker across your face only serves to spur him onward. He can see the doubt, your amusement at his words, the challenge that arches your brow. As if you’ll let him have a say in your orgasms. As if he’s able to take that sort of control over you.

He comes to a stop slowly, decreasing the pace of his hips until he’s pressed hard against you, buried deep, but completely still. You rut under him, trying to get back that delicious friction before the tightness in your lower belly completely dissipates, but Jungkook holds you tightly against him and it’s nearly impossible to do more than writhe in annoyance.

“Fuck me.” You tell him firmly. He doesn’t budge. “Jungkook.”

“I love when you say my name, noona.” He chuckles, bringing a hand to your cheek and petting you delicately. “Am I in trouble?” He asks this with a forced pout, lips full and eyes sweet, but there’s a twinkle in them that’s solid evidence of just how much bullshit he was capable of pulling.

“You will be if you keep it up.” You assure him.

“Luckily for me, I like trouble.” He bends down and kisses you, gripping you by the jaw, keeping his midsection tensed and pressing firmly into your pelvis with his own. You’re pinned by the weight of him, crashing into you so it feels like each exhale, your chest collapses just a bit more and he closes in even tighter.

His kiss is rough, demanding your tongue to tangle with his own and claiming your lips with sharp bites. When he pulls back, it’s entirely away from you, cock out in the air, bobbing, slick with arousal, his balls tight up against him.

“On your knees.” He tells you, “On the floor.”

“No.” You frown, “You’re supposed to make me cum.”

“Suck me off and maybe I’ll think about it.” He tilts his head, cocky as he smiles down at you, still just as handsome and charming as ever.

You’ve never seen this side of him before. He’s usually so willing, so eager to please you and, admittedly, you’ve taken advantage of that in the past handful of times that you’ve had sex. But who could blame you? Jungkook liked making you cum. And you had always made sure to take care of his needs in the end. You just liked watching him get all red and sweaty when he was worked up. You liked having him desperate and begging. But you hadn’t anticipated that he would ever try and pay you back for all those times you took control and left him a trembling mess before you gave into him and let him cum.

Eyes narrowing, you slowly get to your knees on the kitchen floor. The tiles are painful against your kneecaps, unforgiving as you put your weight on them. You settle back on your feet a little more to spare your knees, and Jungkook steps forward, guiding his cock with one hand to your lips.

“Good girl, noona.” He chuckles, “Open up. Swallow it whole and I’ll reward you.”

He’s fully taunting you now, a twinkle in his eye as he smirks and his free hand circles around the back of your head, forcing his cock to part your lips. The length of him settles on the flat top of your tongue at first, and he strokes your hair, gathering it out of the way tenderly, but once he’s got your hair ponytailed in his grasp, he tugs on it harshly, pulling you forward with one rough motion. His cock crams down your throat and you gag around it, but he doesn’t pull away to give you air. Instead, he continues to taunt you.

“I love the way that feels,” He whispers, “You suck my cock so well. But I’ve always loved the way your throat tightens up when you gag on it.” He throbs and his hips rut forward, digging your nose into his pubic hair, making your throat constrict again and as your eyes begin to water, he moans softly. “I could cum down your throat just like this,” He says, “You’d just have to take it. Swallow every, fucking, drop for me.” He emphasizes his words by withdrawing half an inch and shoving back in with each word, and you fight to keep your gag reflex in check.

He pulls out the last time you choke on him, a muffled cough making him pity you, and he pulls away with a trail of spit connecting the head of his dick to your tongue while you sputter and gasp for air. He still has a tight grip on your hair.

“You look so pretty like this, noona.” He smiles down at you so tenderly that you forget for a moment that he just forced his cock down your throat until you were drooling and crying. His thumb swipes away your tears as they track down your face, smearing the last remnants of the makeup you’d put on earlier that morning. 

“Stop playing with me, Jungkook.” You tell him, voice scratchier than normal from his cock straining your throat muscles. “Fuck me.” You stand, and sit back on the kitchen table how you had been before, propping a leg up on the edge and showing him with your fingers exactly what you wanted. You press three into yourself, cunt stretched openly already and dripping wet. Your chest heaves as he watches you with eyes narrowed slightly, lips curved.

“I think you’ve got it under control.” He tells you, and with an arch of his brow he tells you, “Make yourself cum.”

Your mouth falls open in surprise at this, and you remove your fingers from your cunt deliberately, pressing them into your mouth to suck them clean, unwilling to bend to him.

“We’re not going to get anywhere if you keep acting like this.” You tell him. “Just be a good boy and do what I say. You know I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Maybe I’m not as good as you think I am, noona.” He smiles.

You lunge forward, grabbing him by the shoulders, pulling him to you so he stumbles a bit, catching himself on the edge of the table by your sides. “You’re my good boy.” You remind him, kissing sweetly at his smiling lips. You lock one arm firmly around his shoulders, keeping his head to yours, tongue tracing his bottom lip, and your opposite hand finally gets to scratch the itch you’d felt earlier, fingers wrapping tightly around his throat.

Jungkook’s eyes flash open, and he smiles, wide and toothy, while you’re still licking into his mouth. You feel him at your entrance then, his cock head nudging against you and you shut your eyes blissfully as he presses himself back inside of you.

You keep a tight grip on his throat as he pulls back some, hunched over you, hips snapping forward. Eyes still shut, you don’t expect it at all when you feel his hand on your neck, too. They fly open wildly when he constricts his grip, fingers digging into your skin, your breath hitching in your throat as you stare up at him.

It’s suddenly turned into a dangerous game of chicken, both of you choking the other, neither ready to give up. Jungkook fucks you harder the tighter your hands wrap around each other’s throats, and when your mouth falls open in a silent scream, you let him go, admitting defeat, and he releases you a half second later, his upper body falling forward, crashing you back into the kitchen table.

He hugs your left leg to his side, pressing further into you, one of his knees planting on the kitchen table which rattles dangerously under the weight of you. Eyes rolling back in your head, you moan his name loud.

“Jungkook..”

“That’s right, baby.” His voice is deeper than usual, you can feel the vibrations against your chest as he speaks, “Take this fucking cock like a good girl.”

You’re about to open your mouth with some snappy retort when he pulls back a bit and spits between you, a glob of slick landing right on your clit, his fingers smearing it around in rough circles on your throbbing nub. You’re left breathless and open mouthed, watching as he gathers more spit and liberally coats your pussy, making an absolute mess of you.

Jungkook slows the pace of his thrusts, slow and measured strokes against your insides coupled with his spit slicked fingers rubbing insistently at your clit that has you trembling under him. Toes curled tight, you fight for the last bit of strength that you have in you, throwing your head back with a dull thunk on the table.

“Fuck, you better make me cum this time.” You tell him.

His response is a loud slap with his wet hand on your left ass cheek, that leg hooked and pressed against his chest. You wince, eyes flying open again as your head lifts in surprise to stare at him, but he’s not looking at you. He’s looking at your greedy cunt, the way you take his cock so well, coating him with your creamy pussy juices, gushing with arousal as he spanks your ass for a second and third time rapid fire.

“Oh,” He chuckles, “You like this don’t you, noona?” He bends over you again to give you a tender kiss on the lips, his hips stilling briefly as he locks eyes with you. “Why do you fight me so hard for this when you love it this much?”

You don’t have an answer for him just yet. Maybe later, when the fog of pleasure has lifted from your brain, you’ll be able to eloquently explain the nuances of your sex drive but for now, all you can think about is the slick plunge of his dick at your insides, the stinging on your ass cheek and the sweat that’s clinging to his hair at his forehead. You brush it away tenderly, clenching your inner walls around his cock, trying to contain your moans to a minimum in fear that he’ll stop again. But he doesn’t stop.

Jungkook can feel you cumming before it hits you, the way your body trembles under him and you cling to him, legs wrapping tight, ankles locking around his lower back, pussy clenching and releasing rhythmically. You finally let it go and moan for him and he fucks you harder in response, strengthening the peak of your release even higher and more intense.

Your nails claw at his shoulders and tug at his hair, pulling him close and mouthing over the sweat on his neck as you cum, chanting his name between keening moans that make his spine tingle. It’s the final straw when you yank his head back and bite hard on his neck.

Jungkook cums loudly as you leave an angry red hickey on his skin, hips bucking wildly and emptying his balls deep into your belly. He whimpers when your teeth dig harshly into his skin, rutting against you as the aftershocks of your orgasm make you tremble around his cock.

When he’s finished, he stays there against you, breathing ragged and seemingly unable to muster the strength to push himself off of you, but you don’t mind. You hold him tight and let him hold you, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

[starflyfarm]

(hmgh the inbox is empty n im kinda bored so have sum incoherent thoughts n ideas abt lou under the cut)

(i think ive mentioned a few times tht lou likes singing but that is admittedly an understatement. he loves singing. he hears a song he knos the lyrics to and he feels incredibly compelled to sing tho his lack of confidence stops him in public spaces. u may hear a bit of humming when no ones paying attention to him tho)

(going off that there are certain kindsa songs he likes singing more than others, think its been mentioned that he likes higher energy music generally speaking so naturally thats the kinda music he likes to sing to but he REALLY likes songs he can just belt to it feels so satisfying to him. he is surprisingly good at adele songs)

(he cannot sing really rough throaty songs to save his life tho like just thinkin abt it makes his throat hurt. he likes a fair bit of metal and screamo n stuff but his voice is just too smooth to sing it. smooth but lightly textured. like vanilla icecream w the lil vanilla beans n stuff still in it. hes also not very good at whistling)

(hes mostly a tenor but he does have a pretty decent range and his falsetto is p decent tho it does hurt his throat)

(its also been mentioned that hes alright at guitar but i like 2 thnk inbetween whatever actual lessons he took the very first songs he taught himself were probably sum very embarrassing sappy little love songs w simple chords. u kno how it is when ur a repressed gay teenager)

(idk how any of yall read his voice but generally he talks kinda quietly, very much not a very loud or present person, which is good for not getting caught committing crimes but not very good for socializing as he has discovered.)

(his semi soft voice is decently reflective of his physical characteristics too, i think i mentioned like once that his hair is very thick and soft, but his skin is also p soft with the exception of some scars here and there)

(speaking of his more notable scars are a burn scar on his right forearm from when he was really young, no one remembers exactly how he got it but it had something to do with a kitchen accident, and sum cut scars on his left shoulder from shortly after he’d moved out of his mom’s house. he also has various minor scars on his hands and wrists from handling/playing with cats and getting into the occasional knife fight back in the city as well as a very small scar on his upper lip from a time a dog bit his face when he was young)

(u might not guess it but he is incredibly clumsy and does not have the best spatial awareness when it comes to like. objects. he does fine not crashing into people but hes probably bumped into a lamp post at least once)

(idk if its ever come across but he also does lots of hand gestures when hes talking. snapping his fingers or shaking his hands when hes tryna think trying to illustrate what hes talking about with vague motions. he does a lot of shit w his hands in general, tapping fingers on surfaces drumming his hands on his legs, doin peace signs n finger guns and playing with his fingers/clothes mindlessly)

(hes also the kinda person who has an idle animation™ when hes not distracted by talking to someone or just paying attention to something he’ll probably rock back n forth on his feet or bobbing up and down probably to the rhythm of a song stuck in his head or something, speaking of songs, again, humming is a thing he does too)

(if u read the previous 2 points and thought “that sounds like stimming” ur exactly right)

(he stumbles over his words a bunch when hes excited, even if hes trying to keep his cool stumbling and stuttering are some of the most tell tale signs of him being excited tho it also happens when hes anxious or flustered. id say it applies to strong emotions in general but it absolutely does not apply to stuff like when hes real angry or sad)

(when hes real angry or sad his speech tends to actually be much more concise, he’ll speak slower and take time to really consider his words. when he’s angry both his expression and the words he chooses have the potential to cut like a hot knife thru soft butter, and when he’s sad hes more considering his words to try and keep from bringing the person hes talking to down)

(ive drawn him with a sketchbook a couple times but he probably has a journal with some writing in it too, nothing serious just thoughts he has sometimes phrased with flowery words but its not like. super amazing poetry or anything. hes no elliott)

(speaking of sketchbooks he absolutely draws his friends from time to time. hes incredibly embarrassed by it and hed never show anyone but he does it. a lot of his doodles are accompanied by lil thoughts and comments he has while makin em)

(back when he worked for joja i like to think he was like a phone operator for like. the joja help line or smth which is an oxymoron and he probably spent most of his work day getting yelled at by ppl over the phone. he does not like talking on the phone. much prefers texting)

(idk how clear ive made it on the blog but he absolutely hates morris. morris is probably the only person in town who hes like physically threatened. morris has thusly elected to avoid fucking with him as much as physically possible)

(i think its been mentioned he carries some kinda pocket knife on him at all times but he also likes to carry one a those novelty combs that looks n acts like a switchblade but its not. mostly just to fuck w ppl. pull out what looks like a switchblade then open it and hah uve been fooled it was a comb all along)

(speaking of combs bcus his hair is thick and wavy as mentioned before hes gotta take real good care of it or it gets. Unmanageable. when he was a teenager he didnt take care of it for a while n it got so long and tangled it broke like 2 combs it was awful)

(that in mind he is prone to getting wicked bed head. catch him when he first wakes up and its like a rat king was planted on his head)

(also did i mention he has several knives? pocket knives switchblades hes probably got a decorative dagger in a box somewhere, and ofc his monster fighting sword. he probably has a pair of brass knuckles somewhere too)

(its defintiely been hinted at more than a few times but lou is a huge foodie. he is always hungry and loves food but he cant stand mint or bitter tastes sometimes he has a hard time w sour stuff too. he likes spicy and savory/umami/w/e foods best, and while he does have a decent sweet tooth he can make himself sick off sugary stuff pretty easy especially w really dense sweets like fudgy brownies n shit)

(the reason hes not so good w mint and bitter things is cus his senses r very keen and bitter and mint are very unpleasant to his mouth and nose. theyre intense and stick around much longer than theyre welcome and it just feels bad ykno. this in mind he could not explain to u why he likes spicy stuff as much as he does)

(hes also really sensitive to like actual temperatures, especially heat. if it gets too hot and humid it can make him real nauseous n give him a migraine, hes better in the cold but even then it makes him really sneezy n sniffly. this is moderately ironic considering the previous point)

(jhjh im gonan stop here bcus this is getting super long but this is absolutely not all the stuff ive thought of. its mostly just the more lighthearted n mundane stuff that i could remember off the top of my head lmao)

[alistair-theirin]

I got tagged by @elgar-somniari​, thank you!💕

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? It’s a purple tangle teezer thing !

2. A food you never eat? bananas they r disgusting

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? i am freezing almost all of the time

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? lying in bed watching wizards of waverly place bc i am an adult

5. What is your favorite candy bar? orange kitkats 100%

6. Have you ever been to a professional sporting event? i don’t think so? i can’t think of any off the top of my head

7. What was the last thing you said out loud? im going to be honest, i dont think ive spoken out loud today rip

8. What is your favorite ice cream? strawberry babey

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? water

10. Do you like your wallet? it’s a zelda one so y e s

11. What was the last thing you ate? several chocolate hobnobs

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? probably i have no impulse control

13. The last sporting event you watched? does overwatch league count

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? s w e e t

15. Who was the last person you sent a text message to? best friend!

16. Ever go camping? only at a festival! or in a friends backyard when i was much younger but idk if that...rly counts

17. Do you take vitamins? for 2 days until i forget

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? absolutely not

19. Do you have a tan? i have never once in my life had a tan 

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? both ! pls !

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? only if it’s like, mcdonalds or something

22. What color socks do you usually wear? colour irrelevant as long as fluff

23. Ever drive above the speed limit? nope! my car has a cool box fitted that tracks everything i do to make my insurance acc affordable woo :) :) :) 

24. What terrifies you? literally everything you can imagine i am scared of absolutely everything both rational and irrational, real and abstract 

25. Look to your left what do you see? bedroom wall + posters 

26. What core do you hate? i dont..know what this means?

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? being 16/17 and obsessed with 5 seconds of summer, stupidly hot weather, evil spiders (also 10/10 as an accent, i love u all)

28. What is your favorite soda? dr pepper

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive through? depends! mostly drive through, though

30. Who was the last person you talked to? i honestly don’t know but probably my mum

31. Favorite cut of beef? none!

32. Last song you listened to? uhhhhh citizens of earth - neck deep (i think)

33. Last book you read? i honestly have no idea. i’ve started a lot of things but i think the last one i actually finished was maybe eleanor + park? maybe

34. Favorite day of the week? im going to be honest. i have no idea what day it is ever anymore.

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? if i am given at least 5 minutes yes

36. How do you like your coffee? full of sugar and cream and tasting nothing like coffee and more like strawberries or chocolate

37. Favorite pair of shoes? those black vans w/ the white stripe or my dr marten boots i do not wear any other shoes lmao

38. At what time do you usually go to bed? anytime between 10pm and 4am

39. At what time do you normally get up? 7am irrelevant of if i go to sleep at 10pm or 4am (:

40. What do you prefer - sunrises or sunsets? they are both v pretty!! but im more likely to see a sunset so i guess i’ll go with that

41. How many blankets are on your bed? one

42. Describe your kitchen plates? they’re white with like a grey heart in the middle

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? whatever tastes the most like a fruit

44. Do you play cards? not really!

45. What color is your car? is silver

46. Can you change a tire? nope

47. What is your favorite province? we don’t really have provinces in the UK as far as i’m aware so.....none

48. Favorite job you ever had? i worked a few events when i was in college and then we got to watch them after and it was pretty cool, i got to watch some theatre and street performances and it was super fun

49. How did you get your biggest scar? i don’t have any!

50. What did you do today that made someone happy? i bought my mum some new shoes bc hers are falling apart nd she will never buy herself any, so they came today and hopefully she’s happy about it lmao

tagging anyone who wants to do it! 

[kello-unknown]

NEVER THOUGHT IT’D BE HER

Summary:  Max lives an… entertaining life.  She just got out of a relationship she thought would last forever.  Meeting one person leads to more people in her life, and before she knows it, she’s falling in love with someone she never expected to fall in love with.

Words:  1,492

Warnings: like one flashback (but its a flashback of a flashback so), brief mention of alcohol consumption, flirty talk (kinda)

Author’s Note:  dont forget if u wanna catch up on what happened in the last chapter, you can click down below and re-read and remember what happened to the gang lol :D

CHAPTER 1, CHAPTER 2, CHAPTER 3, CHAPTER 4, CHAPTER 5, CHAPTER 6, CHAPTER 7

MASTERLIST

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CHAPTER 8

               THE next few days begin the same for the most part.  Alex starts to wake up a bit earlier every day now that she’s becoming used to waking up in Max’s bed.  The two see each other before Max leaves for work and Alex starts to plan for her day.  Alex had called her boss, who had, over the course of the years she has worked there, become a close friend, and told her a brief story of what happened.  Her boss told her to take as much time as she needed to recover, and Alex intended on doing just that.

               Throughout the first week of her being at the house, Alex spends most of her days taking walks down the street and visiting the town since she lived a few towns over before everything happened.  She gets home around five o’clock usually, and Max comes home from work a little more than an hour later.  The two would eat dinner together and share their day.  They’d watch a silly movie or something stupid so that there would be background noise as they would just talk to each other and enjoy the time they have.  After a while, one of them would say that it was late and that they should go to bed, the other would agree, and the cycle of activities would repeat the next day.

               One day, as she’s taking her daily walk, Alex comes by what looks like, to her, a night club.  She walks by and realizes it’s just a bar.  She’s practically explored the whole town at this point, and this seems to be the only bar in this area.  Then it hits her.  She remembers what Max told her about the night she and Natalie broke up. 

               After what feels like hours of crying, Max gets up and walks to the fridge, looking for the one thing that’s always been there for her whenever she’s had a problem that no one else could help her with.  Downing one bottle of beer, she goes to grab another one, along with her house keys, and goes for a walk.  Ten minutes go by, and she arrives at her go-to bar, stumbling in….

               This must be the bar Max went to drown all of her sorrows.  And by the looks of Max, there must have been a lot of sorrows. 

               Alex pulls her phone out of her pocket and goes through her text messages and clicks on one name.  She hasn’t told anyone about what happened between her and Devin, not even Casey, her best friend since God knows how long.  She couldn’t imagine life without her.  Casey was always there for her, no matter what. 

               “Hey girlie, you doing anything tn?  I have a lot to tell you…”  She sent the text and looked back up at the bar front.  She hears a ding, brings her face back down towards her phone and sees that Casey already texted her back.  “omg yes ofc.  its been a while, im sure u do lmao.  have anywhere in particular u wanna go?”  Alex smiles.

               “There’s this cute bar I just found.  ‘The Black Lion.’  Idk if you’ve ever heard of it, but I’ll send you the addy and meet you there.. say 8ish tn?” 

               “i think ive been there once or twice if memory serves.  ill be there bitch ;)”

               Alex puts her phone into her pocket and continues on her walk.

               After being out for almost four hours on her walk, Alex gets back to the house around the same time she usually does and notices Max’s car in the driveway.  Curious as to why she’s home much earlier than usual, she heads inside to see what’s up.  Walking in the front door, she sees Max sitting at the counter on her phone.  Max looks up to see her roommate and greets her.  Alex does the same as she walks over towards her and asks why she’s home so early in the evening.  “My boss was convinced I was too tired to work even though I already finished my work for the day.  So, she sent me home early since ‘It’s Friday,’ and I should go out with my ‘friends to celebrate the end of another week.’  Her words, not mine,” Max explains. 

               Alex giggles.  “Well good for you then, I guess.  Anyways, I was actually going out with one of my friends tonight since I haven’t seen anyone in a while.”  Max’s eyes widen.

               “That’s great!  Where are you guys gonna go?” she inquires.

               “That bar in town.. I think it’s called ‘The Black Lion’?”  Max nods.

               “Oh!  I love the BL!  That’s my go-to bar.  It’s great.”  Alex smiles at Max’s enthusiasm.  “Listen if anyone - and I mean anyone - gives you a problem trying to get in, tell them you know me.  I’m a regular there and if that doesn’t work, call me.  I’ll come down and show off the guns.”  She then rolls up her sleeves and flexes her bicep.  Alex bursts out laughing, and Max does the same not too long after she starts.  After they both finish laughing, Alex, wiping tears off her face, excuses herself and starts to go get ready for her night out with Casey while Max goes to her text messages. 

               “You doing anything tn?  I got the house to myself if you wanna come over ;)??”  She sets her phone down to walk to the fridge and grabs a drink.  On her way back over to the couch, she picks up and checks her phone to see if she had gotten a message.  Nothing yet.  She tosses her phone onto the couch, grabs the remote and sits down.  As soon as the tv is on, she hears a chime coming from her phone.  She leaves whatever is playing on the tv and picks up her phone.

               “im actually going out with one of my friends tn lol.  maybe later on in the weekend if u can? its been a while ;).”  Max sighs.  She hasn’t seen Casey in a while since Alex has moved in.  But she gets it.  It’s a bros before hoes type thing.

               “I get it lmao.  I’ll have to check ahead to see if I have any work to do,” she knew she wouldn’t have any work, but she likes to play hard to get sometimes, “but I’d love to get together over the weekend.  Have fun tn.”  As if almost on cue, Alex emerges from the bedroom.  She’s got on a pair of blue skinny jeans and a black – no, maybe dark grey – crop top on.  She walks over to the couch with her black heels in her hand.  “Well you look cute.  Are you trying to get with this friend of yours tonight or are you just trying to make him drool?” 

               Alex rolls her eyes.  “First, thank you for the compliment.  I finally went back to the apartment to grab most of my clothes.  Luckily, Devin wasn’t there so I didn’t have to deal with him.”  Max nods.  “Second, no I am not trying to get with my friend, and lastly this friend is a girl.  So politely fuck off.”  She sends a smirk to Max, who just chuckles and throws her hands up in surrender.

               “Alright.  You can still technically get with her, you know.  My first statement still stands, though.  You look hot.”

               Alex raises an eyebrow.  “I thought I looked just cute a few seconds ago.  Now I’m hot?  What made you change your mind?” she teases.  “Is it the heels?  It’s definitely the heels,” she says, as she now sends a wink to her roommate.

               Max sits in her spot on the couch, laughing softly while shaking her head.  Alex stands up and starts to gather what she needs for her escapades and heads for the front door.  Before she leaves, she hears Max yell out, “If you need the bedroom tonight, make sure you text me at least 10 minutes before you get home!”  Alex laughs, yelling out a quick “Okay!” as she closes the front door.  She walks down the driveway, grabs her phone to text Casey to tell her she’s leaving now, and starts her walk to the bar.

               When she’s just around the corner from the bar, Alex texts Casey to see if she’s close.  As she walks up to the front of the bar, she sees her best friend coming from the other direction.  She smiles, walks past the bar and up to Casey.  They both hug each other tightly.

               The two get in without a problem, the bouncer having recognized Casey from her coming to the bar so many times before tonight.  The two sit down at one of the tables in the corner of the bar and their night begins.

NEXT

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tags: @maggie-elise13, @elizabethfictionwriting, @lesbian-deadpool, @the-very-tired-gay,  @timelords-13, @tangled-up-in-bad-decisions, @natashaswhitesuit, @its-a-me-mario-hihi, @marvelfansince08love

[scripturient-manipulator]

Oo i have 2 questions (idk if this is anamous I hope it is 😬) So 1 what made you want to become a therapist because I think I might want to be one, what is it like? 2. Mental health question! I think I might have schizophrennia (weird I know lol) ive looked really deep into it and this was made very educatedly lmao. Im still a minor though and and mental health services where i am suck and 2 no one takes me seriously as a minor (which is silly) do you have any advice on what to do?

It wasn’t anonymous, so I adjusted things until it was! Don’t worry, I didn’t look at your username so now I don’t know who sent this either :)

1. I adore learning about mental illness. My own surfaced before I really knew what mental illness was and learning about it just spurred me on. The brain is so weird, it can do so much stuff, it’s ingenious in how it tries to protect itself and deal with the trauma it’s been given.

Being a therapist is tons of fun! It genuinely is, I adore my clients and being able to be that person who helps them when sometimes they’ve never had someone who didn’t take advantage of them, or who actually believed them about an awful thing(s). I like being that person. So many people just need to be heard, to be given hope or to be shown that someone has hope for them. I like being able to delve into the most horrible, shameful moments and fears of someone’s life, the habits they can barely bring themselves to admit to me and be that person who says “that’s okay. I still like you. You’re going to be alright because together we’re gonna make sure you are.”. It can be tough though. Therapists have to take care of themselves, especially if they have clients who have been through trauma. And there are things you’ll hear that you can’t tell anyone about despite it being utterly horrific and you can’t believe it’s neither ethical or legal for you to speak of?? That’s the hardest part for me. But that’s where having coworkers helps, or being able to talk to someone else who works with your client. You learn some truly incredible ways that people have protected themselves, when a good time to challenge someone is and when it’s absolutely not. The first time someone cried in a session with me I got scared because my technique worked “too well” despite the rush of being able to reach them. You get to know people deeper than sometimes anyone else in their life does, but that also means that you carry secrets to your grave sometimes. You have to know how to turn your professional brain off and look after yourself, and you’ll learn that in your Masters program. And there’s so many ways to help people, I’m actually working on a new way myself using tabletop games like D&D! It’s an incredible job, it truly, truly is.

2. As for your possible schizophrenia, you are a minor. It’s very rare for a minor to be diagnosed with schizophrenia simply because there’s so much other stuff your symptoms could be, and it doesn’t usually occur before your mid-20s. It absolutely can, but it’s less likely; it’s called early-onset schizophrenia for teenagers for a reason, because it’s earlier than usual. Or, you could be in my boat where you have the symptoms like schizophrenia but not enough/at the intensity/at the duration to be diagnosed with it! That’s a fun one.

I don’t think it’s silly that you think you might have it, at my job right now I actually work with lots of people who have schizophrenia! It’s something that other mental illnesses get confused with, it can be the label slapped on someone who doesn’t have schizophrenia, it might be schizoaffective, schizotypal, or one of the subsets that didn’t make it into the DSM-V. It’s a very complicated diagnosis, and it’s also a very weighty one; to diagnose someone with schizophrenia impacts their life in a lot of ways from how jobs look at you to what housing will take you to college acceptances, how DSS looks at you if you come to them, how the court system treats you if you get tangled up in that- my guess is that one of the things holding your professionals back is the fear of putting something so heavy on someone so young because that shit sticks with you, trust me. Plus you need a medicine regime to handle schizophrenia fully and that’s a lot of drugs to put into an adult, much less a teenager so that’s likely a fear of theirs too.

I feel you on bad mental health resources though and not being taken seriously, that was the story of my life when I first got into therapy (who doesn’t send someone to the hospital after an aborted suicide attempt??). So write down all the reasons you think you have schizophrenia, and if you take reasons from anywhere, write down what research you did and where you found it. Does your family have a history of psychotic disorders? If they do, absolutely put that down as well. Presenting it in a composed method like that should at least get the conversation started in a serious way. Should you need to put in that much effort for a professional to listen to your concerns? No, if I was your counselor we’d be delving into possibilities as soon as you brought up that you were worried. But since it’s the situation you’re in, that’s what we have to play with.

Message me again if you need to! I’ll absolutely talk more about being a therapist and being mentally ill at the same time and I’d love to hear if you’re able to get someone to listen to you :)

[spirit-shroud]

Fanfix ask: I N K Q V Z

hewwo! ♥ from this ask

I: How many fandoms have you written in?  Do you have a favorite? technically, i’ve written fanfic for d gay man, h*mestuck, toontown, w*zard101, world of wardumb, undered tale, deltaed runes, hyperlifter, bard game, moonlighter, oneshot, dust: AET, Portal, no.6, and more recently, pokemon. i only have ut/os/swsh up on my ao3 tho because most other stuff is Very Old or just generally incomplete/not the general vibe of the fandom lol

undert*le was fun to write for just because of how rapidly my hits/kudos/comments went up but tbh i really only wrote for it because of the attention my fics got even tho they werent like.... remotely good. half of that is  looking back on my past work and cringing just bc it’s my past work but like. idk. im really hoping that writing swsh stuff will be a similar high but it’s something i feel a lot better taking my time and putting actual effort into my writing for 

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share? oh always, heres some upcoming chapters of legendsfor the ones im actively working on/have been adding to lately: Tangled in Glimwood - the usual two end up dangerously lost in the glimwood tangle and have to set up camp for the night, armed with like, half a steel move and a trusty cast iron frying pan between them to make sure they’re safe from all the rude ass fairies. includes fun friendly banter such as ‘hop i swear to god you CANNOT eat the glowing mushrooms they are DEFINITELY SUPER POISONOUS’ and ‘this is why nobody in your family has any taste buds left’ and ‘do you think phantumps remember being alive? do they have any of their memories? if we both became phantumps, do you think we’d recognize each other and keep being friends? is that weird to think about?”  Hopscotch - hop has always been there for reader, so when his spirit gets crushed by bede, you step in and offer emotional support and it’s mushy as all hell. this fic entirely is being written bc i’m pissed there’s no option to hug hop during the game. i cant summarize it either its just ‘hop feels bad so you do something about it like a good friend instead of a Silent Protagonist Bastard Fool’ 

Striped Pajamas - a semi-sequel-but-not-really? a sequel if you squint? to sea vents where marnie, hop, and reader hang out again and have a sleep over and like. play video games together and it’s NICE they have FUN and my girl SMILES FOR REAL BC ITS WHAT SHE DESERVES 

Homecoming - reader + leon have been together for awhile and he’s bringing them home to meet his mom+little bro. it’s mostly uneventful and even awkward, as i’d imagine that kind of thing would be, so reader spends most of their time hanging out w this neglected nine year old child who really wants to show them his craftmine builds and amaze his future sibling-in-law with his intensive knowledge of Weird Science Facts

Pink and Blue - y’kno who’s nice? piers. optimal bro material. a lot of exhausted gay energy in this dude. this one is like. post-championship cup reader + hop just adopt this poor washed up man since they’re sad kids seeking guidance and he’s a sadder adult with too much time on his hands now that he isn’t a gym leader. sort of like, a ‘mentor who’s life is falling apart needs a new son’ sort of trope bc that’s pretty optimal. 

this got kinda lengthy but i do have more bc i have WIP Disease ™

K:  Do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)? idk how to actually define ‘guilty pleasure’ tbh. like. i like what i like and that’s all there is to it. x reader fanfic is a circus and i’m the ringmaster, bitch

Q: Do you like getting prompts from your readers? yes!! always!! i need to update my writing request page on my blog n maybe people will like. send me some dkfjhsgkjdhfg

V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you? its not a specific comment but ive been thinkin like. daily abt that guy who lovingly commented on 15/17 of my und*rtale fic collection despite it being very clearly abandoned for years. like. i still need to come up w a new chapter to thank em but i just dont have any un*ertale juice in my system rn 

Z: Is there a story you’ve written that doesn’t seem to get much love? not really tbh, like, i think out of the 5 fics i have on ao3 rn (fragmented, speechless, bad dialogue, my burden is light, day to day legends) they all have the expected amount of hits/kudos per their audiences. id really like some comments on ch1 of d2dl before i got ch2 posted but it doesn’t really bother me too much that there isnt any yet. its 1 chapter and it’s been only a week lol 

i also wish mbil had more comments but also the one hot fandom isn’t very large, the x reader one hot community is even smaller, and i havent updated that in like. a year dkfgjdhfg