#i think its would be a runnibg gag between the two of them

[thebucketpail]

When You Accidentally Kill a Clown pt. 12

Pt. 1 pt. 11 Ao3

In which Dani walk in on something and Vlad gets a verbal smackdown.

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Jason hummed as Danny cuddled closer to the steady thrum of the man's core. He’d been purring for the past thirty minutes as they watched the movie playing on his laptop., piled on Danny’s bed with their feet tangled together, and Danny didn’t even know if Jason knew he was doing it. They hadn’t yet broached the topic. Afterall, asking someone about their death was usually a one way ticket to getting in a knockdown dragout fight. And not the endearing kind that some ghosts used to show affection. It didn’t after though. Danny purred back.

“Hey Danny?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we dating?”

Danny paused the movie and turned to look up at Jason. He had his thinking face on. The one where his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pressed together in a tight line. It was adorable.

“I don’t see why not,” Danny replied, “Why?”

“I dunno, I just- We’ve been on a couple dates and I didn’t know if we were still trying things out or- this feels very couple-y though.” he said.

“Is that a good thing?”

Jason paused for a second, “yeah,” he said, “yeah it is.” Danny smiled and leaned up to kiss him.

“Good.” It wasn’t the first time, and it was short, but it made Jason smile.

“That was good too.”

“Oh yeah?” they asked, shifting to face their boyfriend and kissing him again, “How was that?” Jason didn’t answer, only hummed as he pulled Danny in for another kiss. Then another. Then another.

The laptop fell off the bed with a small thump, their movie long forgotten as the two made out like lovedrunk teenagers. At some point Danny ended up on their back with Jason’s tongue somewhere down their throat and his knees on either side of their hips. His hand had just begun creeping up their shirt when the door opened.

“Oooooohhhh.” The two bolted apart, Jason somehow managing to hit the back of his head on a shelf.

“Tristan I swear to the Ancients-” Danny started, but it wasn’t his roommate standing in the doorway. “Dani?” they asked.

“Dad?’’ she responded.

Jason’s eyes blew wide, ‘Dad?’ he mouthed. Shit. This was not something Danny wanted to explain so early in their relationship. They shot a look towards their boyfriend in a way that said ‘I’ll explain later’ before turning to their clone.

“Dani, what are you doing here?”

Dani rubbed the back of her neck, suddenly looking uncomfortable “Uuh, is this a bad time?” she asked, gesturing to Jason, “Should I go, or-?”

Danny looked between the two again before sighing. “No, it’s fine. Come in,” He said, gesturing her in as he did a quick tidy up of his bed, retrieving the laptop from the ground and setting it safely on the nightstand. “What brings you here, Dani? Not that I’m not glad to see you or anything but-” they gestured loosely.

Dani didn’t seem bothered. “Hm? Oh, Vlad kicked me out. Is that popcorn?” she asked, not waiting for an answer before picking up the bowl and taking its place at the foot of the bed. She held one hand out to Jason as the other shoveled popcorn into her mouth.

“I’m Danny’s daughter Dani,” she said, not bothering to chew or swallow first. “It’s spelt with an ‘i’ incase you get confused. You can also call me Ellie or just Elle if that’s easier for you. Not Danielle though, that’s what Vlad calls me but I think it’s too stuffy.”

Jason shot Danny a quizzical glance before taking Dani’s hand.

“I’m Jason, Danny’s boyfriend,” he said, seemingly having recovered from his shock. “He didn’t tell me he had a kid, but it’s nice to meet you.”

Dani’s head swiveled to send an accusatory glare at her original and she let out a mock gasp.

“Father how could you?” She said, looking entirely offended. Danny felt the heat rise in their cheeks.

“Dani, I’m twenty,” they started, “Forgive me if having a kid isn’t the first thing I advertise to a potential partner.”

Dani huffed, “Yeah, yeah, go on and make sense. You're not the only one,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes and leaning back as she shoved another fistfull of popcorn in her mouth. “Hey do you have any of that ecto-cheese powder I sent you? It tastes great on this stuff.” His clone was smirking sure, but she was his clone and Danny didn’t miss the way she was curled in on herself and clearly deflecting, because that’s how he acted when something was bothering him.

“What does that mean?” he asked, taking a more serious tone.

Dani only smiled at him, confused, “What do you mean? Dairy King helped me make it and it makes literally everything taste better. Do you still have it?” Danny shook his head. That wasn’t what he meant and she knew it. Then what she had said earlier registered and it wasn’t hard to connect the dots.

“Dani, why did Vlad kick you out?” His clone snorted, her eyes darting around the room, refusing to meet his eyes, before finally landing in her lap. It was silent for a moment before she took a deep breath.

“Vlad’s trying to get over Maddie,” she started before adding, “Vlad’s my other Dad,” for Jason’s benefit. “And apparently, there’s not enough room in his giant manor for all his guests plus me so he kicked me out. Told me to come bother you for a change.” Danny was seeing green. He didn’t even realize how tight he’d been clenching his fists until Jason reached out and gently removed his grip from the hem of his shirt.

“It’s okay though,” Dani hurried out, shaking off the thin layer of frost that had begun spreading around the room, “I didn’t want to stay in that stuffy place anyway. And I’ve been meaning to visit you. I’ve never been to Gotham and I was hoping we could do stuff together. Y’know? Like Father/Daughter bonding time.”

Danny took a deep breath as he attempted to reign in the cold. The chilly air calmed his nerves but he didn’t want Jason to freeze. He could already hear his teeth chattering.

“That sounds great kid,” he said before turning to his boyfriend, “You wouldn’t mind if I excused myself to make a quick call would you? I promise I’ll explain everything later.”

Jason looked between Danny and his daughter before shaking his head. Danny smiled and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Thanks, and I’m sorry about movie night getting ruined,” he smirked.

Jason shrugged, “Eh, I'm sure we’ll be able to pick up where we left off.”

“Ew, guys, I’m still right here,” Dani groaned, making Danny laugh as he got up.

“Get used to it, sport,” he said, grabbing his phone and ruffling her hair on his way to the door.

“Don’t call me sport,” Dani grumbled, wrinkling her nose as Danny closed the door.

Danny sighed into the silence of the hallway. It was midday so most students would either be in class or roaming around outside enjoying the nice weather. He appreciated the solitude as he dialed Vlad’s house number.

He groaned, already hearing Dani begin to question Jason, through the door. That was not something he wanted to deal with.

“Is that a proper way to greet someone?” Vlad’s voice rang through the receiver. Danny ground his teeth, he’d forgotten how annoying this man’s voice was.

“Shut up Vlad. That wasn’t directed at you.”

“Oh, feisty today aren’t we Daniel? Tell me, to what do I owe the pleasure?” his voice was sickeningly sweet, if he hadn’t been so full of rage, Danny would have hurled.

“Oh fuck off Vlad, you know exactly why I’m calling.” He snapped, Vlad didn’t sound phased.

“Language, Daniel,” he chided, “and I am afraid I haven’t the faintest clue. Please, enlighten me.” Danny wanted to punch a wall. He took a deep -shaky- breath instead.

“Dani just showed up at my dorm. She said you kicked her out, would you like to explain why?”

There was a short pause as the fruitloop thought over how he would spin the story.

“I didn’t kick her out,” ah, so he settled on a blatant lie, “I am merely busy this month and sent her to stay with her other parent, as Danielle is so keen on calling you. Really Daniel, it’s about time you paid your child support.”

Deep breath. Deep breath. Take a deep breath Danny. Okay fuck that.

“Okay fruitloop, may I remind you of a few things real quick,” Danny didn’t wait for an answer as he barrelled forward. “Point one: You cloned me without consent. I don’t owe you any fucking child support. Point two: Remember that deal we made? You feed, house, and clothe Dani, provide her with a good life with all that fucking money you have, and You get to parade me around as your heir and godson and all that shit, with the added bonus of: I don’t punch your fucking face in and eat your core. Do you understand? Or did you forget?” Danny was seething by the time he finished. The final question was meant to be rhetorical but Vlad answered anyway.

“I did not forget our deal, Daniel,” he drawled, sounding satisfyingly taken aback, “However, I must insist that Danielle stay in Gotham with you for the time being.”

“And how exactly do you expect me to take care of her? I love the kid but I can’t exactly keep a twelve year old in my shared dorm room.”

“Understood. Would an apartment work better?” That stunned Danny for a second. The chill surrounding him melted away as he tried wrapping his head around what he thought Vlad was suggesting.

“What?” he hissed.

“Oh please Daniel, don’t be so dramatic. If it would help satisfy our agreement, then I could easily secure housing for you and Danielle. I will send you the details soon. Now if that’s settled then I really must be going. Tata little badger.” The younger half ghost was left gaping as the receiver clicked, indicating the old man had hung up.

Okay what the fuck? Was Vlad planning something? He had to be planning something. Danny deflated against the wall as he let the implications of their conversation sink in. Yeah. Yeah, Plasmius was definitely planning something. And knowing him, it probably wasn’t going to be good.

Danny was jolted from his thoughts as the door next to him opened, Jason peeking his head out before walking through.

“Hey,” he said, taking Danny’s hands as he pressed into the half ghost’s space.

“Hey,” Danny replied, resting their intertwined hands on his boyfriend’s waist. Jason gave him a quick kiss before leaning back.

“Look I promise this doesn’t have anything to do with what’s happening right now, but I have to go.” A million worries passed through Danny’s head as he stared into Jason’s gorgeous ocean eyes. But all possibilities of hurt were washed away as Jason stared back. Danny smiled and nodded. Jason smiled in return.

“I’ll see you soon,” he promised as he pulled away and took off down the hall. Danny really hoped that would be true.

He took a few more seconds to breathe before heading back in.

“So what’d you say to spook him?” Danny jokingly asked upon returning to find Dani rifling through his snack drawer. “Y’know, other than calling me ‘dad’,” The gremlin stopped her rummaging for a second to stare up at him and shrug.

“Hey, it’s technically true and it’s funny,” she said, stuffing a bag of chocolate into her hoodie pocket and sitting back to tear into a bag of chex mix.

Danny raised an eyebrow and flopped down next to her on the floor. “Maybe for you,” he whined, reaching for a handful of the snack, “You’re not the one who’s a teenage parent.”

“Sucks to suck,” the annoyance replied, jerking the bag away from his outstretched hand. “And for your information,” she started, pointing a pretzel at him for emphasis, “I didn’t say anything. I was merely asking the man what his intentions with my genetic template were- which i guess were obvious based on what I just walked in on,” she shivered at the thought, ‘’Then he got a text or something and left,” She shrugged and threw the pretzel in her mouth before dumping the rest of the bag after it.

Dani looked thoughtfully into the empty bag before crumpling it up and throwing it at the waste bin across the room. It hit the wall next to the bin and bounced to the floor. They both stared at it laying there before Dani begrudgingly got up to throw it away properly.

Danny let the back of his head hit the floor as he closed his eyes. It was comforting that Jason’s departure hadn’t been about Dani showing up, however it was still worrying. The last- and only other time- Jason had left in such a hurry Danny hadn't heard from him for days. The man insisted he was fine and it was just a work thing but still…

“So what’s his deal anyway?” Dani asked, settling back down with a fresh bag of popcorn and a small green container. Danny looked at her, confused, as she dumped the green powder into the popcorn bag and shook it. Evidently she caught his questioning stare because she actually held out the bag for him. “It’s that ecto-cheese powder I was talking about. Dunno why it was under your bed, but it tastes fine to me.” Danny tentatively took a handful of the bright green popcorn. It wasn’t the color that was concerning, but moreso the ‘cheese’ part, like who the fuck puts cheese on popcorn? Visionaries apparently. He tried going back for another handful but Dani kicked him. The little brat (/affectionate).

“So?” Dani prompted as he nursed his wound.

“So what?” Danny asked, looking back at her as he reached for a snack of his own.

Dani rolled her eyes. “Jason,” she said plainly, “What’s his deal? Like I can tell he’s at least kinda dead, but like-’ she paused to gesture loosely at the air, “-is he like us or-?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Didn’t ask,” he shrugged. Dani raised an eyebrow. “Look, we just- haven’t had that conversation yet. We only just decided on being a legit couple like ten minutes before you showed up. Cut me some slack.”

His clone sighed and threw an unpopped kernel at him. “Fine, but that’s important stuff. And I wanna know the tea, so don’t even think about not telling me.”

Danny laughed and knocked his head against hers. “Sure thing kid. Hey, did I tell you that Vlad offered to get us an apartment?” Dani’s eyes widened. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by a gasp. Danny watched his own wisp of blue frozen air dissipate as they locked eyes.

“You wanna go see who’s ass we gotta kick?” He asked, mirroring Dani’s grin.

“Fuck yeah! But you’re telling me all about that phone call later.”

“Bet.”

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Pt. 13

[tumblunni]

Why is gyan amakano so cute. It should be illegal. I hate how he has such a huggable design and then his character is totally wasted on being half super evil jerkman half Every Fat Stereotype Simultaneously. Like seriously how did this even HAPPEN

Artist: ok so ive drawn this round softman in a cute lil fancy tuxedo who always carries lollipops in his back pocket

Writers: ah yes, the perfect Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Or like..

Writers: we need an Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Artist: dont worry bro i got ya *draws a big circle with a happy face*

Or of course theres the alternative universe where nobody involved in this project ever noticed that this character design looks fuckin precious, but i dont want to live in that world

And then he's only in!! Two episodes!! And theyre so weird and not great!! Its like they kept changing their mind whether he was meant to be funny or scary. Goes from "ha ha a fat man enjoys cookies" to "he literally wants to make cannibal cookies out of humans" to "but ha ha look he's cosplaying as the genie from aladdin, lets go back to laughs now".

And also they made him be a huge jerk to Are Bacchino and that pisses me off!! Its already a bit shitty that they made a character whose entire "joke" is that he has ocd/germaphobia and its meant to be funny? Somehow? That he has this mental illness? And is frequently exposed to stuff that terrifies him?? Funny how???? But then theres a really rather disturbing montage of Gyan punishing his sidekick by straight up triggering his phobia and YIKES MAN sorry thats even more evil than the cannibalism! Also why was it drawn all overly detailed and Saw-esque?? Why did we need so much art effort put into showing dirty feet and a guy being forced to stick his hand in a shit filled toilet. Was this someone's goddamn fetish or something???

So yeah. Upset.

U P S E T T I. R E G R E T T I.

I'm so mad they wasted a cool character deisgn and cool concept on such a shitty execution. Like even the plot could have been cool? They could have got a lot more episodes out of the idea of these two runnibg thru fairytale books and cosplaying as different classic villains. And if theyd just made a damn decision and gone with either funny cute or scary bad then it could have worked! Personally i am voting for funnycute obv course. But also thatd work best with this plot, it would have been better if it was just a low stakes goofy adventure with something like "oh this dude wants to find the legendary magic wish thingie to wish for a lifetime supply of chocolate and our heroes wanna wish for something actually important so thats why they fight". Could have even added some drama cos like he doesnt know the thing is actually dangerous and then what if he ends up possessed by it and you still get a fight with him thats pretty high stakes without having this weird inconsistant personality thing. Could be quite a dramatic twist to suddenly have comedy villain man as a genuine threat! Ans could be a way to resolve it all with friendship cos you could have Are Bacchino teaming up with the heroes to save his boss and then Gyan is like "whoa i guess you guys were 100% right all along" when he gets saved from his own bigass mistake and all. And then THE GAMES COULD ACTUALLY MAKE HIM PLAYABLE PERHAPS, JUST SAYIN

Also PLEASE rewrite like every single thing about the relationship between the two of them. Please take whoever said "yeah gyan should outright torture his one and only friend with a messed up Saw movie ocd-triggering machine" and throw them out the window. Consider this: what if..they were actually...friend. Like i feel they'd have enough comedy potential already just from being a "rival mafia" thats literally two people who are ludocrously incompetant at everything they do and only ever succeed at (literally) stealing candy from babies. Play up that side of things more! No need to throw random super evil shit at the funnymen to make them seem more intimidating, theyre at their best when theyre not intimidating at all. And you could still have the same gag of the fairytale world forms always being Gyan as some sort of classic villain and Are as a talking carpet or whatever, like just say thats how the magic works instead of Gyan doing it on purpose to be a jerk. And you could even still have Are being the funny underdog just from sheer bad luck instead of being purpisely mistreated by every single character in the entire cast. Or have it that Gyan is just a bit of a bumbling idiot boss who doesnt notice his mistakes and Are is like the hypercompetant sidekick who always ends up taking the consequences of those mistakes because he's like an overportective bodyguard. Which could also be a way to establish some cute friendship moments! Like i dunno someone's about to throw a pie at Gyan and Are does an overdramatic diving save and a whole fake death scene from the sheer horror of getting banana cream frosting on his suit. "Boss...go on without me..." *cough choke* And Gyan is like *equally overdramatic tears* "He made the ultimate sacrifice! I will avenge him!!" *charges forward to fight the heroes and just gets easily beat up like usual* And then its like *even more continually dramatic narration* "and the boss was beaten and bruised, but he carried me for miles through wind and storm" *over footage of like ridiculously impossible heroic adventures thay clearly didnt happen* And then it just cuts to the two of them sitting at like...ye olde fantasy laundromat. Are sobbing like "oh boss i'll never forget this" and Gyan is just like *thought bubble* "i wish i got to eat that pie tho"

I dunno maybe im naive but i just think shows are generally more fun when characters actually like each other and have motivations beyond self interest. Obvipusly not EVERY character has to be like that, but nobody is ever kind at all in the damn anime whether theyre villain or hero. And also specifically these sorts of minor role villains can benefit a lot from being fleshed out this way to become way more memorable! Like gin and kin became way better in Psychic Specters when they got the added trait of loving and cherishing their little brother. (To the point of it being a literal battle power that made their horribly hard boss fight even worse, lol!)

Also just...plz dont make a man so cute if hes meant to be big badness. Like seriously Are looks scarier than him and Are is like the least scary man to ever have those scary ass eyes! Smol depressed man with ocd and tol round lollipops friendo. I WANT TO LOVE THEM

Im gonna just cross my arms and sit here stubbornly hoping for The Anime/Game Effect to kick in. Like 99% of all characters in the anime are jerks and even when anime originals end up cameoing in the games they tend to become generally nicer and more well developed as people. So fingers crossed for a yw4 appearance thats full cute and 0% cannibalism!!!

Seriously fuckin.. CANNIBALISM

Why does the anime do that so much as a "funny" "joke"? The episode where Jerry murders a sentient dessert yokai in graphic gory detail still haunts me. "Ha ha its funny because technically theres no blood so we can show her gasping for breath with a hole in her lungs as a man eats her corpse" Did they put the entire budget into that one death animation??? Oh no cos they saved at least a little of it for the Herbiboy Gets Murdered By A Lawnmower episode T_T

Anime why u be this way.