#i think its amazing how in a couple composed by a rockabilly amputee blue haired bike mechanic pegging lover dad and a (apparently) soft +

[1982brucespringsteen]

yeaah i'll talk about the one piece modern au i'll never write why not

luffy lives with ace and sabo in a squat. he's an anarchoprimitivist but only because he likes the back to monke memes. ace is a tankie and sabo is a trotskyist and this house is a fucking nightmare. they don't work regularly mostly because ace and sabo are members of two different leftist organizations that are this close to being labeled terrorist by the government, luffy is a yoga instructor.

zoro rents a room in mihawk's big ass dracula themed gothic mansion. at first mihawk had a goth only policy and that's why perona lives there too but he soon realized having a giant chandelier in every room was skyrocketting the electric bill and lowered the bar. enter zoro, a pro kendo athlete gym rat who insists on using public transport even though he gets lost every. single. time. he doesn't have a proper ideology but he believes that people should be allowed to get away with murder just once.

nami is an ancap #girlboss lesbian influencer. she lives in her own apartment that she pays for by regularly scamming men into buying her feet pics or bath water or whatever. she was raised by a butch ex marine in an off-grid homestead where they grew tangerines. she's best friends with usopp because they're the same brand of friend who would definetely try to get you into a pyramid scam, but in different fonts. she only values people over money if the people in question are her friends. she has a rotating cast of girlfriends but the only one who managed to get real close to her was vivi and now they're not on speaking terms even though nami's mom still asks about her.

usopp owns a grow shop and sells weed to everyone but charges rich people extra for wealth redistribution. he paints, does pottery, is a competitive slingshot champion, writes poetry, costumizes clothes and practices permaculture. a couple of years ago he had to leave his hometown because he got involved with a white girl and her racist uncle went hysteric. they still text.

sanji's family owns a big pharma company and have ties with neon*zi organizations. he was abused from early age, ran away as a teen and started working for zeff, who knew he wasn't actually 16 but employed him anyways to keep him from being homeless. he became an amazing chef but his female coworkers found it impossible to work with him. zeff took him to therapy before it could get out of hands, but instead of accepting he was gay and moving on sanji did mental gymnastics and became super patronizing towards women. he owns several gastrorestaurants and a drag bar where he occasionally secretly performs.

chopper is a child prodigy studying medicine at 15 years old. he mostly hangs out around adults and he thinks that makes him very mature but since those adults are like. luffy and co. it doesn't really count. robin is his legal guardian and they live together with franky in a nice apartment on top of franky's mechanic shop. he hero-worships zoro but does nothing when usopp pulls pranks on him because he's a teenager and teenagers are like that.

robin was reverse indiana jones: she stole shit from museums and private collections and returned them to their original location. was wanted by the interpol for some time but now she lives peacefully under a fake identity as an archaeology uni professor. she and franky met at a brook concert when robin was trying to distract some cops and franky was super cool with some random hot chick suddenly kissing him to blend in. they kind of clicked and went back together to robin's hotel room and had the best sex of their lives and didn't saw each other for years. now they co parent chopper and she's her friends' emergency contact number.

franky is a rockabilly mechanic with customized prosthetics and immaculate dad vibes. after their spectacular one night stand robin lived rent free on his mind for YEARS until they reunited and now they're married. proud men get pegged activist. was on a gang as a teen and loves to bring it up as much as he can. he's in a dad rock band with brook and they're terrible even though brook is a professional musician.

brook was a soul superstar like 30 years ago but now he's barely remembered and he resents it. he met the group when he started buying weed from usopp and now he's in zoro's kendo class and has just joined jinbe's ocean protection association and whale saving club. he's recording a comeback album with franky's help but it's going terrible.

jinbe is everyone's grandpa even though he's younger than brook, but at least brook knows how to use emojis and pretends to understand memes. runs the multidisciplinary gym where luffy works and zoro and brook train. he's a dignified old man who teaches karate to little kids and always dresses in traditional clothes but he's also a surfer, met luffy in prison, was a mob boss AND an environmentalist extremist and once attempted assassination on a conservative politician.

vivi is the heir of a monarchy, studied political science and is doing her masters on international relations. she cultivates this nice rich girl persona but was involved in the scandal of the century a couple of years ago when someone leaked pics of insta famous libertarian influencer catburglarnami snorting coke off her ass in the vip room of some club. they haven't seen each other since then but nami still vaguetweets about her and vivi campaings for market regulation just to spite her. she still talks to luffy tho.