#i think it's the loyalty they have to each other and the confidence they both have in that loyalty
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readingiskeepingmegoing · 8 hours ago
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I have thoughts on the relationship of Acacius and Lucilla. 
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I have thoughts on the relationship of Acacius and Lucilla. 
!!Spoiler Warning!!
If you haven't seen the movie yet, maybe swerve this one until you have.
I am in no way a writer, and this is essentially just a word jumble that fell out of my brain. Please be gentle with me.  
Massive thanks to @schnarfer and @jessthebaker for listening to me yell and sharing your thoughts with me. Your insights were invaluable.    We see Acacius and Lucilla deeply in love in the movie. But I think they came to this over time.     
In the flashback scene of Lucilla taking Lucius from the arena after Maximus and Commodus have died, it appears to be Acacius who is helping him onto the horse. So from this we can infer that the pair have known each other for a long time, and that Acacius is loyal to Lucilla, just as he was loyal to Maximus. It makes me wonder if Maximus had maybe sent word to him to protect Lucilla and Lucius. A role that Acacius take seriously and sees through to the end. 
  Lucilla is held in high regard by the Roman people and even called Queen, and that gives her power, but it also makes her dangerous to the incumbent Emperor/s, and keeps her in constant personal danger.    Acacius was trained by Maximus. He clearly remains loyal to him even after his death. The Emperor after Commodus would no doubt have been suspicious of him and anyone who had served closely with Maximus. If one General could defeat an Emperor, then why not another?     I see the Emperor initially using Acacius as Lucilla's jailer. "Keep her in line or we will know you are not loyal" sort of thing. While also making sure that Lucilla knew that she was being watched. Not even safe to confide in her maids.    There will no doubt have been a bit of resentment there, especially from Lucilla, who doesn't know what lengths Acacius is going to, to keep them both alive and as free as possible.    Acacius falls in love with Lucilla before she falls in love with him. He may have known about Lucilla and Maxmus's relationship. And it is easy to see why he would have been attracted to her. The Emperor/s probably would have noticed a change in how he is with her, how he looked at her and so the manipulation would have changed. "Do what we say or we will send your wife to you on the battlefield, wouldn't it be terrible if something happened to her on the journey to you?" 
During time away from war, Acacius and Lucilla may have found their relationship to be strained in the beginning. He will have been so much lower in rank that her, the only thing they would have really have had in common at the start would have been their love of Maximus. Over time cordiality will have grown between them, deepening to a mutual respect.    Acacius comes home from battle grievously wounded, and that is when Lucilla realises that she loves him. The Emperor/s send nurses to care for him, and she sends them all away and tends him herself, pouring all of her newly discovered love into healing him, calling on her childhood nurse who is skilled in the arts of wise women. And during this time they get to truly know each other and their passionate love grows in earnest.    
I also feel as though Lucilla will not have wanted more children. She will not have wanted to hand the Emperor/s more leverage over her, nor have wanted to see her children chewed up and spit out by what Rome becomes. So Acacius respects her choice and encourages her to get whatever contraceptive remedies are most effective from her nurse, so that he can be her husband in every way. 
  They clearly have no secrets, he knew that Maximus was Lucius's father. He did not hesitate to try to free Lucius at Lucilla's request. This, to me, makes his sacrifice in the arena more heartbreaking. He is trying to protect his beloved wife from losing her son again, and upholding his loyalty to the man who trained him.  
If you made it all the way to the end, thank you for bearing with the rantings and ramblings of a madwoman.
Tagging because you asked so sweetly: @ghotifishreads @jennaispunk @missredherring
@noisynightmarepoetry @schnarfer @jessthebaker
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kvetchinglyneurotic · 1 year ago
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We all talk about the Miranda/Silver parallels, but I just rewatched 3x08 and it occurs to me that in the later seasons, there's kind of an Anne/Silver parallel as well: they're wildly different in terms of personality, but both their identities exist as an extension of another person — Anne says that when she tells someone her name, the first thing they say is Jack's; and by mid-season 3, the same is true of Long John Silver with Flint — and both are invested in Flint's war out of loyalty to the person/people they care about rather than its actual aims (Anne wants to free Jack but doesn't care about retrieving the chest of Spanish gold; Silver ends the war to keep Madi and possibly Flint, depending on your interpretation of the ending, alive). The difference is that Anne's loyalty to Jack is ultimately requited, whereas Madi and Flint both love Silver, but no amount of love is more important to them than their war.
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storiesfromafan · 2 months ago
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What's Mine Is Mine - Mattheo x Reader
A/N: woke up to the news of Dame Maggie Smith's passing. So I did a little something in memory.
Prompt: “I'm not the jealous type, but what's mine is mine. End of story"
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“What do you think you were doing!?” Boomed the loud voice of Professor McGonagall. “Fighting another student! And breaking his nose! Mr Riddle, it will be detention for a month for you!”
You looked to your boyfriend, a hard look on your face. As you were also mad at the Slytherin boy. Yet he didn't looked faze, maybe a little proud of himself more so. You didn't know why he had to attack the Gryffindor boy.
“And you" McGonagall swings around to you look at you, still mad but a little softer. “You will get detention for two weeks!”
“W-what?” You sputtered. “I-I did nothing, other then try to break them up!?”
“When I came upon the scene, it didn't look like you were breaking it up Miss (Y/L/N). Two weeks detention, another word from you and it will be more, understood?”
You bit your tongue and nodded your head, casting a glare to Mattheo. Who looked quite pleased with himself.
The Professor sighed. “Alright, back to your house you go".
You both got up from your seats in McGonagall's class room, and began to walk to the room's door. Before you even took two step's, the Professor asked for you to stop and wait a moment. She sent off Mattheo, who didn't like leaving you, but he reluctantly left the room. You turned back and moved to stand before McGonagall at her desk.
“Yes Professor?” You asked calmly.
She looked at you with a soft, pointed look. “I am not one to meddle in the lives of students, but are you sure Mr Riddle is the right suitor for you? He is hot headed and easy to anger, that to me is not a good thing".
You understood her concerns and felt touched the women cared, but she did not know Mattheo like you did. No one did. They only saw what he showed them; cocky, tough, smartass and anger issues. But what you have seen of your boyfriend was loyalty, kindness, sweet and passionate sides. Slytherin boy's protected and coveted what was theirs.
“All due respect Professor, you don't know Mattheo like I do" you replied with a confident voice. “He might be what you have said, but you don't know him like I do. There is more to him then just that. Am I free to leave now?”
Professor McGonagall gave you a surprised look before dismissing you. You weren’t one to necessarily speak up like you did, and be rather rude to those in authority. But part of her admired your loyalty to Mattheo Riddle. And she hoped you were right about knowing him well.
You walked from the classroom with a sigh. This is not how you wanted your afternoon to go. You didn't want to have to step between your boyfriend, who had came across a Gryffindor classmate asking you for your notes from Snape's class, and another student. Alright, Slytherin and Gryffindor might not get along, but with Henry, you had a mutual respect for each other and your studies.
But Mattheo came upon you both, having a laugh, and looks to have thought Henry was flirting with you. One minute you're laughing, the next Mattheo had grabbed Henry and pulled him away. They exchanged words before Mattheo punched him. And began their fist fight. You moved to break them up, which was hopeless. Soon Professor McGonagall came across you three, as well as the crowd of on lookers. And, well you know what happened next.
“What did she want?” Asked Mattheo, as you came upon him leaning on a wall.
You kept your mouth shut, choosing to ignore your boyfriend and continue walking to the dungeons. A few more times did Mattheo try to talk to you, but you still kept your lips shut tight. Your anger slowly boiling below the surface. When you both descended the stairs to the dungeon did he try again.
“Come on love" he half sighed, half whined. “Talk to me!”
You stopped suddenly – which halted Mattheo – and turned around to shoot him a sharp look. “What can I say to take back the last hour, Theo? Nothing. So what's the point!?”
He flinched at your raised voice. “Come on love" – he stepped up and grabbed your hand, which you withdrew from him a few seconds later – “don't be like this".
“Like what?” You questioned while crossing your arms over your chest.
“L-like this" he moved his hands up and down, gesturing to your stern presence. “This stern figure, when you're not".
You scoffed. “I wouldn’t have to be stern if you hadn't attacked Henry".
Mattheo rolled his eyes, “Henry. God his name is worse then his shit fighting skills".
You studied your boyfriend. And after taking in his annoyed tone, agitated roll of his eyes and the fact he'd beaten up your friend but not friend. You concluded one thing about your boyfriend.
“You were jealous" you proclaimed in amusement, having to hold back a chuckle.
Mattheo shot you a glare. “I'm not the jealous type, but what's mine is mine. End of story”.
You smirked. “You answered that a little too quick, love” you laughed. And began to head for Slytherin house.
Mattheo sputtered out words, trying to defend himself before finally letting out a frustrated sound. “I was not jealous!” He called before storming after you and your cackling frame.
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inuyashaluver · 8 months ago
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Hi!!! How are things? Idk if you saw the picture of Leah in the black pinstripe suit… suffice to say I’ve been having thoughts… and a request pinged through my mind: Leah meeting reader while wearing the suit (first time meeting; connection at first glance) and Leah stays by reader’s side throughout the evening. Heavy flirting, touchy, more dominant bf Leah who brings reader into her arms (basically takes control😩) and suring conti cup celebrations, Leah sees reader wearing her suit jacket and gets cocky. I’m thinking reader is the mysterious hot babe who everyone is wondering about
Love your work and thank you for the Jenni and Misa fics❤️❤️
suit and tie - leah williamson
leah williamson x reader
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description: in which a pretty blonde steals your heart with her suit and tie
warnings: flirty, flirty, flirty, swearing, suggestive
a/n: IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE, TURN IT UP - you guys can’t expect me to react normally about this picture, come on! thank you for the love, gorgeous, enjoyyyyy xx
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you and leah never believed in love at first sight until you both laid eyes on each other. the instant attraction was obvious for the both of you, hence why as soon as your eyes made contact, you knew you needed to have each other.
leah wasn’t really much of a party person. sure, she had fun at parties, but if you were to ask her how she wanted to spend a rare saturday she had off, it most definitely was not at a party.
but because leah values loyalty, when her best friend, alex, begged her to come to a british vogue party, full of the uk’s best in 2022, who was she to decline the puppy dog eyes?
and so, with effective convincing, leah shrugged on her best suit, resisting the eye roll when her best friend assured her this party would be fantastic.
you also weren’t really much of a party person ever, but because of your field of work, you always got dragged to them.
you’re a sports journalist and interviewer. one that was extremely valued not only in the football community, but other sports also.
you took great pride in actually taking time to do your research, to know about your athletes and asked them the questions that actually mattered.
at this time, you were quite new, not really having the opportunity to meet a lot of athletes, including leah.
it took you a while to get to leah’s side of the pitch, and before you had met, you weren’t even doing anything on the field, rather being the one on the television talking about stats and predictions for the games.
when leah walked in the room that night, the atmosphere was bustling and she was already regretting coming.
though she held herself well, posture up right with a confident smile present as she walked through the crowds, exchanging polite conversation with familiar faces.
she found a name card with her name on it settled on a table near the back of the room, dimly lit with candlelight amongst the chatter and clinking glasses amongst the room.
she settled, adjusting her suit jacket, slightly tousling her hair in frustration at realising alex wasn’t even sitting on the table with her.
she didn’t know anyone here, about to pull out her phone until she heard a gentle “excuse me, sorry, could i just get through?” sounding from behind her, someone came up next to her and leaned forward to examine the name card next to hers.
a dizzying scent of vanilla flooded her senses, her eyes subconsciously following the smell to look up at the most beautiful girl she’d ever seen in her life. it wasn’t even an exaggeration.
her mouth slightly hung open as she met the person’s eyes, this person being you. you were slightly shocked when you and leah made eye contact, feeling your breath hitch at how gorgeous she was.
everything in the room faded as leah looked at you, there was just something irresistible about you that leah couldn’t comprehend, she hadn’t even said a word to you yet.
after what felt like an eternity, you send a quick smile, pulling out the chair and sitting next to her, nervously fiddling with your fingers.
leah gave herself an internal pep talk, turning slightly to you, her hand extending to yours, “hi, i’m leah” she pronounces, making you look over at her with a surprised smile, a little giggle escaping your mouth, sent straight to leah’s heart which felt like was hammering out of her chest.
you place your hand in hers, shaking it gently with a charming smile, you were so nervous, the girl’s gaze not helping you at all. “(y/n)” you share, enjoying how soft her hands felt against yours,
“it’s lovely to meet you” she grins, “likewise” an electric current passed between you before you reluctantly returned your hands to your laps.
you stayed silent for a moment, before nudging her shoulder with yours softly, “did you get dragged to this as well?” you whisper, leah chuckles.
you don’t think you’ve ever been more attracted to someone in your life and you’ve just met her. leah was feeling the exact same, wanting to impress you and really hoping she doesn’t fuck this up.
“i did actually” she laughs, “don’t tell me you were as well?” she smiles at you, you nod with a grin, “indeed i was” you sigh, taking a swig of the complementary cocktail on the table, wincing when you took a sip.
“what the fuck is that?” you cough, leah looks over at you in surprise, “that bad?” she says with a laugh, watching as you take a sip of some water,
“disgusting, haven’t you tried it?” you grimace, she shakes her head, “if i had it, so do you” you demand, making the blonde laugh in disbelief.
“who made up that rule?” she challenges amusingly, you grab her glass, lifting her hand and directing her fingers over it, pressing your hand over hers for a moment and she swears her body was on fire.
“i did, drink up then, go on” you smile sweetly, leah offers you another smile, shaking her head with a little laugh before she took a little sip of the drink, matching your wince with how bad it was.
you laugh brightly at her expression, making her heart swell with pride, wanting to make you laugh like that again.
“that’s awful” she affirms, “i can’t believe you made me drink that, i thought we had something going here” she flirts, you smirk knowingly, understanding that both of you caught each other’s drift.
leah just exuded confidence, now leaning her head on her hand resting on the table, adjusting so she could face you. you offer her an amused expression, angling your body to mirror her position.
“we can suffer together?” you say cheekily, leah huffs out a laugh, “come to the bar with me?” she offers, you nod instantly, watching as she stood first, her hand held out to you.
you accepted it gratefully, letting her pull you out of your seat, and once you were upright, her hand made its way to the small of your back, directing you through the crowded room.
when you both reached the bar, she made you stand in front of her slightly in a protective nature, leaning down to speak into your ear directly,
“what would you like, gorgeous?” you swallowed the lump in your throat, telling her what you wanted and watching as she ordered for you and her without hesitation.
you turn around to face her as you both waited for the drinks to be prepared, seemingly busy. she offered you a charming smile as you met her gaze head on, feeling a little nervous at the intensity of her stare.
your eyes trail to her suit and back up to her face, apparently exposing yourself leah could clearly tell you were adorning her attire.
she silently challenges you with a cheeky grin, “you alright, pretty girl?” you return her smirk, feeling a little confident yourself, feeling comfortable with leah.
“just appreciating a good suit” you shrug, your hand extending slightly to trace the lapel of it with your finger, leah watched your movement with sharp eyes, barely breathing at your proximity.
“or maybe i’m appreciating the woman in it?” you say innocently, leah flatlined right there. she chuckled lowly, moving closer to you slightly,
“well you’re a sight for sore eyes” leah drawled, hand resting on your hip for a moment before her head nodded towards the drinks now placed on the bar behind you.
her hand seeks refuge on your lower back again, effectively weaving through the room to your seats again. leah only got rid of the contact to pull out your chair, offering you a sweet smile while she gestured you to sit.
when she sat down next to you, her chair was essentially pressed up against yours, her thigh slightly brushing yours, sending a shiver up both of your spine’s.
“so, leah, tell me about yourself” leah and you both share a little giggle, flirting shamelessly as she talked about her, you listened to her intently, she fell for you a little more at seeing you actively listening to her.
you were asking her questions to clarify when you didn’t understand, sharing your own words but not in an overbearing way, adding to the conversation in a way that made things fluid. easy. familiar.
when the blonde directed her own interrogation on you, she listened to each word with extreme focus, smiling when she’d catch your gaze, both of you somehow managing eye contact.
it was like a first date, the way you both shared parts of your lives, it certainly felt like one.
it was clear there was a spark there, the amount of things you had in common was uncanny. both of your hearts raced a little faster when you thought about where this could potentially go, you two were perfect for each other.
the air between the two of you was thickened with anticipation and attraction, the flirting making both of your stomach’s absolutely flip. there was just something so magnetising about the two of you, irresistible like a moth to a light.
her laugh was infectious and so was yours, a smile cracking between the two of you that had your cheeks hurting. each exchanged glance and playful piece of banter made the tension simmer, both of you slowly drawing each other in.
“do you want to dance?” you said with kind eyes, leah nods without hesitation, letting you drag her to the dance floor.
the two of you danced with shared giggles, lingering touches as your bodies moved together. and even though leah and you had obviously skipped multiple steps with each other, she remained respectful, not pushing any boundaries as she danced with you.
you appreciated it, appreciated her and she most definitely appreciated you. the thought of her fucking this up eating her alive and it hadn’t even happened.
“i wasn’t going to come tonight but i’m happy i did” leah said next to your ear, goosebumps rising on your skin when her breath gently grazed it. you smile at her, “me too” your hand moving to gently squeeze her bicep.
you both made way to the table once more after you both got tired, basically sitting on top of each other at this point. you continued to chat and laugh together, feeling like you’d known each other all your lives.
as the night progressed, your hands went over your arms due to a little chill suddenly being present in the room. leah was extremely observant, shrugging off her jacket and slipping it over your shoulders.
you open your mouth to protest but leah fixes you with a little glare, making you roll your eyes slightly before you let her direct your arms into the jacket, her scent making you smile as it surrounded you, more than it already was.
the party was slowly filtering out and you and leah prolonged it as much as you could until essentially getting kicked out.
she walks you out with your arm around her bicep, smiling at people as you walked past. you were both outside and gave each other slightly sad smiles, the thought of the night ending leaving a little crack in both of your hearts.
“i had a lot of fun with you tonight” you smile at her, “so did i, a lot of fun” she smiles back, her eyes trailing all over your face as you looked at each other.
“so, williamson, can i have your number?” you say cheekily, your cheeks a little pink as you asked, leah smiles fondly, nodding and fishing her phone out of her bag, prompting you to do the same. “beat me to it, cheeky”
you exchanged numbers, hands brushing against each other’s as you gave back one another’s phone.
“i have to say, you suit that jacket a lot better than me” she smirks, you shake your head, “thank you, but you’re otherworldly in this” you flirt, making her cheeks burn as she avoided your gaze for a moment.
her tongue pokes the inside of her cheek for a moment with a chuckle, taking the leap and pulling you closer so her lips were ghosting yours.
her eyes bore into yours, glancing down at your lips as her breath fanned them gently, your heart spiked, feeling incredibly warm.
your eyes flicker down at hers before she closed the gap, her lips moving softly with yours. you sigh against her as she pulls you closer by your hips, your hand gently holding the side of her neck as you kissed her.
she pulls away with a sharp breath, her breath mingling with yours as her forehead resting against yours. “let me take you out, tomorrow?” she says almost a little desperately, but you both were honestly.
“okay” you breathe out, she smiles before pressing a tender kiss to your mouth, her thumbs rubbing gently over your waist as she pulled away at arms length.
you smile at her sheepishly, her sporting her own shy smile as she looked at you. the two of you giggle again, not really believing the circumstances of kissing your dream girl and going on a date the next day.
she waits until you get picked up by your taxi, pulling you into a warm hug, the embrace soft and gentle, contrasting the insufferable flirting you’d been torturing each other with all night.
“i’ll give you back your jacket on our date” you say cheesily, leah laughs, brushing a stray hair away from your face before she cradles your cheek, her thumb brushing over your cheekbone affectionately.
she presses a parting kiss to your lips, “can’t wait, baby” she whispers against you, pecking your mouth again quickly before she ushered you to go home, not wanting you to linger out in the cold.
you texted all night, sleeping at an ungodly time but it was all worth it. leah took you on that date and you both fell in love, suddenly claiming yourselves as party people.
you’d now been dating for a little over two years, infatuated an understatement for your relationship. you moved in together, both of you flourishing with each other in your respective careers but also with one another.
people knew the two of you were dating, you were the definition of private but not a secret. your social media for each other was essentially a shrine.
it was the continental cup final, arsenal vs chelsea. you and alex were the main journalists covering the match that leah was extremely excited about.
during warm ups, she threw you a cocky grin with a wink as she saw you getting mic’d up, only growing when she realised what you were wearing.
the blazer from the night she swept you off your feet all those years ago. you wave at her when she blows you a kiss with a wave, grinning as alex teased the both of you while you both prepared.
when the final whistle blew and leah got dragged into a group hug, she bounded over to you.
“arsenal have won the continental cup!” you exclaim, feeling a body attach to you from behind, strong arms wrapped around your middle while multiple kisses were pressed to your cheeks.
you lean back into the body, already knowing it was your girlfriend’s. “leah williamson is clearly happy about the win” alex teases, making leah smile against your cheek,
her hand moves over yours holding the microphone, “very happy” she chuckles, moving to stand next to you with her hand on your hips, staying for a short interview conducted by alex.
you gave her heart eyes the whole time, buzzing with excitement to congratulate her properly off camera. if you weren’t confirmed officially with the blonde, you definitely were now.
as soon as the staff yelled ‘cut’, leah pulled you into a kiss, your arms wound around her neck as her arms went around your waist again.
“hi, gorgeous” she mumbles against your lips, “hey, champion” you grin proudly, pecking her lips a couple of times while she smiles down at you.
“congratulations, my winner” you pinch her cheek softly, she moves her head quickly to jokingly bite your finger, relishing in the giggle she elicited from you. “thank you, my girl” she winks,
“this is a nice blazer, where’d you get this?” she teases, you can’t help but smile at her, “oh, it’s my girlfriend’s” you kiss her again, her hands move to squeeze your hips.
“you look absolutely gorgeous” she breathes out, “so sweet, my love, so do you” you grin, leah smirks, “i prefer you with nothing on but that’s for my eyes only” she says lowly in your ear, you gasp and slap her shoulder lightly,
“you can’t be sweet for two seconds-” you scold, cut off with her lips against yours again in a gentle kiss, making you hum against her before you ushered her to get her medal and lift the trophy.
after the trophy was lifted, she made a quick effort to grab a bottle of champagne and chase you around with it, threatening to spray it on you. you both laugh loudly as you ran around the pitch, your hearts full of affection for each other.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you know the drill - pretend it’s yours and leah’s blazer 🫠! ily alex x
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leahwilliamsonn: double win if you ask me
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yourname: so cheesyyyyyy
↳ leahwilliamsonn: you love it
↳ yourname: do i?
↳ leahwilliamsonn: oh you definitely do
↳ yourname: don’t be so sure of yourself, williamson
↳ leahwilliamsonn: extremely. thin. ice.
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elysiansparadise · 3 months ago
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Hello, thank you so much for all the work you put into creating composite observations (and all your other observations honestly). They really are insightful and I love how you always insert an encouraging perspective even when you mention the potential challenges.
I noticed that you made a post on stelliums in the houses of a composite chart. May you also make a post on zodiac sign stelliums in the composite chart as well please? I have a scorpio stellium in my composite chart with my partner and I would love to read your perspective on this! <3
Hello love! I appreciate your words so much, they mean a lot. Thank you very much for your suggestion, I would love to talk about it!
Stelliums in the composite chart
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🖤══ Stellium in Aries ══🖤
This relationship can be very active, dynamic and focused on action, there is much you want to do together and many things you want to achieve as a couple. They are not afraid to take risks together and can feel more confident and determined with each other. They are certain of the relationship and that it is the other person they want to be with. Loving, intense and passionate, they will be authentic and uninhibited. The relationship can be marked by independence and the need to maintain a strong individual identity within the relationship, they will never take away the other's time alone. This relationship could have happened very quickly and spontaneously.
🖤══ Stellium in Taurus ══🖤
Both parties want that the relationship abounds in stability, security and pleasure. They are focused on making the relationship comfortable and enjoyable for both and they are easy to be patient with each other and try to understand them. They have the ability to create a solid foundation for a lasting, supportive and loving relationship. They are naturally gentle with each other and seek to provide for each other in every way. Both are very determined in the relationship, they are constant in their affections and adore physical closeness to each other. A lot of loyalty and reliability between them. Tendency to pamper the other. They prefer that the relationship arise naturally and at their own pace.
🖤══ Stellium in Gemini ══🖤
In this relationship, both focus on fluid communication, they seek to learn and share a lot with the other, both about themselves and the things they experience. They both enjoy variety and exploring new ideas together. In addition, they will seek to keep things interesting and entertaining by being a couple that does not fall into monotony and predictability. They will have a huge and genuine interest in each other, wanting to get to know each other as much as possible. Dynamic, interesting, but also deep conversations, this couple will want to create a space where both can speak their minds without feeling judged. Both can feel very attracted to the other's way of thinking, as well as very mentally stimulated.
🖤══ Stellium in Cancer ══🖤
They are focused on making the relationship a safe place for each other where they can allow themselves to be vulnerable and feel loved. A very emotional relationship, full of care, adoration and mutual kindness. They both feel that it is very easy to be expressive with each other and they can connect very well emotionally and in terms of their personality. Both will want to understand the emotional needs of the other and do their best to meet them. A very intimate, private relationship in which they want to support each other emotionally and take care of each other. They awaken the sensitive and loving side of each other. They tend to prefer domestic plans or those in which there are only the two of them alone.
🖤══ Stellium in Leo ══🖤
They feel the freedom of being authentic and themselves, seeking to cherish others for it. They keep things fun and dynamic with each other, they are loving, very expressive and playful. They will focus on being very demonstrative with the love and appreciation they feel for each other, they will never leave room for doubt. They will make many romantic plans where they make the other the protagonist. There is a desire to shine together, to praise each other and make them feel the most special in their lives. Generous, loyal and emotionally intense with each other. This relationship may be one of the biggest priorities for the other. They will seek fun, abound in warmth, and fiercely love and protect each other.
🖤══ Stellium in Virgo ══🖤
In this relationship, support for the other will abound, they will want to be there with the other through thick and thin. A genuine desire to be each other's shoulder, they will constantly seek to improve individually to make way for an improvement in the relationship. Efforts, details and stability. They will want the relationship to be healthy, one in which the other feels calm, supported and loved. Both will be attentive to the other, they will listen to and reassure each other. Their displays of affection will be focused on actions, preferring that they speak louder than words. They will have small details with each other as reminders of the affection they have for each other. They enjoy planning things together, from dates to activities to do together.
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🖤══ Stellium in Libra ══🖤
Both actively seek harmony, the mental and emotional well-being of the other and that things are fair for both. Both want to maintain peace and avoid conflict, working together to find solutions instead of making the dispute more serious. A lot of romance, adoration and a taste for both the physique and the emotions of the other. Both have the willingness to commit. They focus on clear communication where they speak and listen to each other equally. The affection and respect for each other is enormous and noticeable both for themselves and for others. Many displays of affection bring out the most loving side of the other. They seek to work together in the relationship.
🖤══ Stellium in Scorpio ══🖤
Both will want this relationship to be something deep, meaningful and intense. They will want to know everything about each other, from the lightest to the darkest sides of their personality. A strong devotion and loyalty towards the other, they will be very honest with the other. Their love will be intense, passionate and they will want to adore and worship every part of their partner. They not only look for lighthearted emotions, they long to dive very deep into the emotions of the other, to know them like no one has ever been able to. Strong magnetism and attraction towards each other, they feel attracted like magnets. Willing to face any obstacle together.
🖤══ Stellium in Sagittarius ══🖤
This couple will seek to explore a lot alongside each other, not only in the sense of travel or experiences, but also explore aspects of relationships that catch their attention. You will feel dynamic and very motivated with each other, things will seem to become more positive. They will learn a lot next to each other and teach each other a lot. They will want to enjoy life next to each other, they will let themselves go with each other and focus on having a good time together. Independent, fearless and with a desire to grow a lot alongside each other. They will live many adventures together, they will be motivated to dare to try new things and do everything they ever dreamed of. 
🖤══ Stellium in Capricorn ══🖤
There is a strong sense of commitment and responsibility. This couple will take their union very seriously, focusing on building a solid and lasting foundation backed by trust, loyalty and constant dedication. Both have a clear focus on long-term goals, especially those that concern the relationship. Together they work toward common goals and support each other's ambitions of all kinds. Both desire stability and security, working towards the idea of ​​creating a stable and secure life together, both emotionally and in other areas.  The relationship and the comfort/well-being of the other is of utmost importance to both parties. What they care about takes time and dedication, and they do not hesitate to give their all in this connection.
🖤══ Stellium in Aquarius ══🖤
They both see themselves as equals and value each other's independence and freedom. They love the idea of ​​spending time together, sharing their thoughts, ideas and occurrences with each other. Both are very accepting of the other and do not intend to change the other, on the contrary, they will love and appreciate them just for being who they are. They may have many interests in common and connect in a unique way with each other. This relationship came out of nowhere and unexpectedly. They will not put expectations on each other and will simply flow together. A fun, entertaining relationship like nothing they have ever had before. Empathic and supportive of the other.
🖤══ Stellium in Pisces ══🖤
It is possible that both feel that they have a deep spiritual bond, in addition, they can easily understand each other without the need for words. They awaken the tenderness, devotion and affection of others very easily. This relationship will not be superficial and can even be healing in the sense that you can feel better with each other's presence. They have a genuine desire to understand and support each other's emotional needs, creating an environment of unconditional love and acceptance. Romanticism, creativity and gentleness between both. This couple will dream of a future next to each other and will fantasize about moments together.
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misswynters · 4 months ago
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Aemond Targaryen as your husband: headcanon
[a/n: there are some sensual undertones here so if you don’t wanna read that you can skip it. it’s after the seperator
[note | pls don’t just like, reblog & give me feedback. i don’t want to get shadowbanned
similar | jace | aegon | cregan | daeron | gwayne
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Aemond is fiercely protective of you. His intense loyalty means he is always by your side, ensuring your safety and well-being. He often places himself between you and any perceived threat, his hand instinctively reaching for his sword.
Aemond isn’t one for grand romantic gestures, but his love for you is evident in the small things. He brushes your hair out of your face, ensures your chambers are always warm, and leaves books he thinks you’d enjoy on your bedside table.
As your husband, Aemond values your opinion on matters of state and politics. He seeks your counsel in private, trusting your judgment and treating you as an equal partner in all decisions.
Aemond admires your intelligence and enjoys engaging in deep conversations with you. Whether it’s discussing the histories of Westeros, strategy, or philosophy, he relishes the intellectual stimulation you provide.
Aemond respects your strength and encourages you to train with him. He enjoys sparring sessions where you both hone your skills, often leading to playful banter and mutual admiration.
You and Aemond have an unspoken bond, sharing secrets that no one else knows. He trusts you implicitly and confides in you about his deepest fears and ambitions.
Despite his stern exterior, Aemond has a soft spot for you. In private, he’s tender and gentle, often holding you close and whispering sweet nothings that contrast sharply with his public demeanor.
Aemond enjoys gifting you rare and precious items, from intricate jewelry to exotic silks. He takes pride in finding unique treasures that reflect your tastes and interests.
One of your favorite pastimes is riding Vhagar together. The thrill of soaring through the skies, feeling the wind in your hair, and the shared experience of dragon riding brings you closer. Aemond often points out landmarks and recounts stories from his childhood as you fly.
Aemond’s loyalty to you is unwavering. He defends your honor fiercely and would go to great lengths to protect you from harm. His love is intense and all-consuming, leaving no room for doubt.
Through your relationship, Aemond learns to open up more emotionally. Your patience and understanding help him grow, allowing him to express his feelings more freely and strengthening your bond.
Aemond is your biggest supporter. Whether you’re pursuing a personal project or navigating court politics, he’s always there to offer encouragement and practical advice.
Aemond is devoted to your future children. He takes an active role in their upbringing, ensuring they are well-educated and trained. He often tells them stories of his own adventures and the legacy of House Targaryen.
Despite the challenges you face, your bond with Aemond is unbreakable. Together, you are a formidable team, facing the world with strength and determination. Your love for each other is a constant source of comfort and inspiration, guiding you through the trials of life in Westeros.
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Aemond’s eye always finds you in a room full of people. The way he looks at you, with a mix of desire and admiration, sends shivers down your spine. His gaze alone can make you feel cherished and wanted.
In private, Aemond’s touches are gentle and deliberate. He traces his fingers along your skin, memorizing every curve and line. Whether it’s a light touch on your hand or a caress along your back, he makes you feel treasured.
Aemond’s kisses are a mix of urgency and tenderness. He captures your lips with an intensity that leaves you breathless, his hands cradling your face as if you’re the most precious thing in the world.
Late at night, when the castle is quiet, Aemond whispers sweet and sultry words in your ear. He tells you of his desires, his dreams, and how deeply he loves you. His voice, low and husky, wraps around you like a warm embrace.
Aemond takes his time when you’re having sex. He believes in savoring every moment, exploring your body with a careful and practiced touch. His focus is entirely on your pleasure, ensuring you feel loved and satisfied.
There’s a powerful, unspoken connection between you. A single look from Aemond can communicate a thousand words. In moments of intimacy, you don’t need to speak; your bodies and souls understand each other perfectly.
After a long day, Aemond loves to hold you close. He wraps his arms around you, his body shielding yours. The warmth of his embrace and the steady beat of his heart are the ultimate comfort, making you feel safe and adored. Giving you the love that his mother didn’t give him.
Aemond is particularly affectionate in the mornings. He wakes you with soft kisses on your neck and shoulders, his hands gently exploring your body as he whispers good morning. These moments set a loving tone for the day ahead.
Aemond enjoys sharing baths with you. The intimacy of washing each other, feeling the warm water and his hands on your skin, creates a deep bond. He loves to see you relaxed and content, and he takes his time, making sure every touch is soothing and sensual.
Despite his duties, Aemond finds time for secret sex. Whether it’s a secluded garden or a hidden room in the castle, he ensures you have moments of privacy to express your love and passion freely.
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banner by: @cafekitsune
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wildrangers · 4 months ago
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Hello i see you're accepting fic requests, i have a matt smith fic idea, can u do a behind the scenes w matt and fem!reader where they are both married in real life but they're rivals on cam, and when the scene cuts they're like all lovey dovey and their castmates are always teasing them 💟 tysmmm!!!
Thank you so much for this request anon, I loved this idea! I created an OC HOTD character for the reader to play and kind of worked her into different key moments from the show. I hope you enjoy 🙂
Tropes & Topics: total fluff
Word Count: 900
“What would you call the husband of the Queen?”
“Well, the king-”
“There it is, then.”
“...consort” 
Your eyes met Daemon’s, fury coursing through your veins. His head tilted, eyes assessing you. “That seems redundant, no?”
“I speak for the Queen when I say it is not.” 
There was a long pause as you two stared each other down before “CUT! Good work you two.”
“Darling! You were stupendous” Matt praised, walking towards you with his arms raised. Mostly joking groans sounded from the crew around you. “Oh, stop it you lot.”
“I always forget how angry you make me when you have that fucking wig on” you tease, wrapping your arms around his middle tightly. 
“I could say the same to you, my love” he chuckled, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your silver wig.
Your role on House of the Dragon was Anora, a close confidant and cousin of Rhaenyra. Given your character’s fierce loyalty to Rhaenyra, she shared a tense, often hostile, relationship with Daemon which you two delighted in playing as it was so opposed to your real-life dynamics as newlyweds. 
“Are you love birds ready for lunch now that you’ve terrorized the crew?” Emma’s voice called from behind Matt and you threw a grin their way. 
“Are they up to it again?” Harry seconded from behind them. 
“I don’t know what you’re referring to” you argued and Matt chuckled beside you, his arm resting along your shoulders as you followed the pair off the studio lot. 
“Oh, so you don’t remember the post-wedding incident?” Emma posed and you felt your face warm as the memory flooded your mind. 
“Wed?! Laenor has just died!” you shouted, whipping around to face your best friend and her apparent new husband. 
“No, cousin, he’s not dead. We arranged it so he could be free and we could marry” Rhaenyra explained and your eyes widened. 
“You let our monstrous uncle convince you of this?!” 
“Watch your tongue” Daemon replied, eyes blazing.
“Or what?” 
“Or I’ll take it.”
You took out the dagger you kept hidden on your side, “Well come on then, Daemon. You don’t frighten me.” 
“Enough!” Rhaenyra screamed, stepping between you both. “Cousin, this was my decision he forced me to do nothing. He wants to better support my claim to the throne when the time inevitably comes.” 
“He will be your ruin, Rhaenyra. Mark my words.”
“CUT! I think we got it guys, take five.” 
“My fierce wife!” Matt cheered, picking you up and swinging you around as you laughed. 
“Must you do this every take?” the director questioned, earning laughs from the cast and crew on set. 
“Am I wrong? She was incredible” he praised, placing you down and lovingly straightening the wig he’d disheveled in his excitement. 
“Yes, yes, your wife is brilliant and we’re all lucky to be graced with her presence” Emma teased and you stuck your tongue out at them. 
“The most brilliant one of us is you, my love” you tell him and are met with another chorus of groans as you giggle and squeeze his hand in yours.
“Oh! And you can’t forget the birthing scene from last season’s finale, that one was iconic.” Harry added and Emma eagerly nodded their agreement.
Rhaenyra wailed from the bedchamber behind you as you charged after Daemon. “What are you doing Daemon? She needs you!” 
“She needs someone to prepare for war, I can do nothing for her in that room.” 
“She’s calling for you Daemon, not me! She doesn’t want you to act on her behalf, just to be her husband.” 
“I am your king now!” he roared, turning around so quickly you slammed into his chest, his hands gripping your shoulders painfully to keep you upright.
“You overstep Daemon. You are no more than her king consort” you replied, adjusting your stance and fighting the wince of pain wracking your system.
Matt’s face completely broke, false anger draining from it, “Love, are you alright? I’m sorry everyone but she’s injured, we have to cut.” 
“Matt, it’s fine I could have finished the scene” you insisted but your argument fell flat as your ankle rolled out from beneath you. 
He didn’t hesitate, one arm gripping under your knees, the other under your arms to lift you off your feet. “Where’s the medic?!” 
“Matthew, it’s a twisted ankle, not a mortal wound” you assured but his face was panicked. “Hey, look at me” you said firmly, hand cupping his cheek. His hazel eyes met yours and you could see him fighting to control his fear that you were seriously injured. 
“I’m not putting you down until someone’s looked at your ankle” he insisted and you nodded your agreement. “I’m so, so sorry darling.”
“It was an accident, I’m fine, I promise” you replied, pulling his face down to yours for a brief kiss. 
“We have to release this as a blooper, the fans will eat it up!” you heard Emma call as Matt carried you off set towards the medic tent with the cameras still rolling.
“How could we forget? It went absolutely viral” Matt groaned and you laughed, pinching his side.
“You’re lucky you didn’t get charged with spousal abuse” you tease and he rolls his eyes as the others laugh. 
“Keep it going, I’ll just save up my annoyance with you for when we’re back on set.”
matt smith taglist: @slayraxes-blogs @littlehorrorlover
I'm always happy to hear any feedback, message me if you want to get added to the taglist! I have a few more asks waiting that will be out soon 🫶🏻
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fima11 · 2 months ago
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YOUR ART IS SO CUTE AUGH…….. love the way u draw scarabia it makes my heart go 💗💗💗💗💗💗
I am curious if you have any Scarabia HCs… mayhaps Jamikali HCs?
Thank you!!! <333333
tbh I don't have many headcanons for Scarabia, but imo that's the chillest dorm, even with all the parties. Like, have you seen their dormitory? I wouldn't act up if I lived in a comfy place like that too.
But jamikali. Uhhhh
this is my own sort of turkish palace tv drama. More under the cut. It's gonna be long.
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I like to imagine their relationship developing after a nice piece of timeskip (despite most certainly having feelings for each other in college), when they finally learn how it is to live apart from each other, growing out of their destructive behaviors at least for a bit.
My main headcanon and maybe the most delusional one that Kalim would mature up with time, getting more independent when Jamil leaves, though without losing his canonic positivity - in fact just growing up.
While Jamil learns how is it to be simplier and less demanding towards other and himself, traveling alone, not setting down anywhrre for too long. Though the main thing is that they cannot in fact forget each other, and break the attachment despite getting used to each other's absence, and their feelings finally getting some particular shape - and it's impossible to fully let go, no matter how hard they (mostly Jamil) try ;)
I rarely think of a particular reasons that could bring Jamil back to Asim household, though I have one little au concerning this matter which includes long distance between them with no communication, and even some kids, so I may share it one day. so I just keep it on the level of flat concept - Jamil returns after traveling, to either serve again or for Viper family matters.
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I love to imagine Jamil's confusion and shyness at the sight of even more confident Kalim after a period of being apart from each other, and Kalim being happy to finally make Jamil look at him differently, which he consciously or subconsciously has been keeping as a goal all the time.
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For some reasons I feel like Kalim would take lead in their relationship because he seems bolder to me when it comes to making decisions - Kalim just knows what he wants :/
So it's a hard for Jamil to process all the non-casual compliments, gifts and obvious advances (but not rejecting them, still afraid of his own feelings), just like in this post. Under these circumstances I believe Kalim is the one who attached the most, just because I love crazy devotion and loyalty :P (and Jamil is too used to lie to himself to admit his attachment aloud.)
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It's a strange concept, but mostly it's just a huge headcanon I always keep in my head when I draw them - an emotional bond that just won't break, no matter if there's distance, time or silence between them.
It's hard for me to imagine them trying each other out during college years - too many predicaments and prejudices, they are too used to each other, and for their relationahip to work out they both need time to emotionaly mature up and... just have a rest from each other.
Anyway loving them endlessly.
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it would be easier to just list the goddamn headcanons but I always talk too much I am so sorry
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hopelesslygaysstuff · 8 months ago
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Jealous wanda?
The way this is like... over a month old... I'm sorry for waiting so long!!! Here's a lot of words to make up for it, this lowkey turned into a short fic haha ♡
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I think people get jealousy and possessiveness confused sometimes, jealousy happens when you don't already have something and you want it, and possessiveness is when you do already have something and protect it.
So, for the sake of wording, we'll do a jealous Wanda before you guys inevitably get together. (I would never write something where you and Wanda don't end up together because then what's the point. Anyways, I digress)
I like the idea of this jealousy stemming from a crush, with Wanda newly integrated with the Avengers after AOU. You're Natasha and Tony's number one friend, confident, and trusted member of the team. So you're high up in the ranks, and so fucking friendly.
You immediately make Wanda feel welcome, and she's a little awestruck at someone so high in rank paying attention to her, making sure her room is comfortable and including her in conversation during dinners and such.
The crush sneaks up on Wanda, and she realizes her feelings for you after a few weeks. She's seated on the couch next to you at one of Stark's parties, and your thigh is pressed warmly against hers. At one point, you make a joke. While everyone is laughing, she chuckles quietly, and you turn to look at her.
Your eyes are shining, a soft smile playing on your lips as you watch her for a moment. Your cheeks are slightly flushed from the alcohol you both have been consuming all evening, and Wanda's feels her heart stutter as her breath catches. then, she realizes that she has feelings for you... and cue the angsty thoughts that pop up in her head.
You remain oblivious to her feelings, too busy fighting your own. Obviously you like Wanda, her calm demeanor and the way she manages to say the right thing all the time. Her strong, silent confidence and unwavering loyalty to you the team has you falling for her every day. Not to mention her auburn hair, sparkling green eyes with smudged eyeliner that make your heart skip a beat whenever they look at you, or the way her vanilla perfume lingers on your clothes...
Cue the jealousy.
Given that you're so friendly and extroverted, you get along with everyone. One night during a movie night, you're cuddled up next to Natasha, and although Wanda rationally knows that you've been best friends for years, she can't help the jealousy that creeps into her mind.
She can't even pay attention to the movie, sneaking glances at you and wishing it was her stroking your hair and her thigh with your hands on it. She's so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she doesn't see Natasha's watchful eyes taking in the scarlet wisps circling her fingertips or the small smirk that plants itself on her face when she realizes what's happening.
One morning she sees you and Tony making pancakes for the whole team, your face bright and voice melodic as you sing along to the songs softly playing in the kitchen. She smiles at the sight, before immediately wishing it was her.
Visions of dancing around the kitchen with you, making you her favorite dish, Wanda's hands holding your waist and brushing against you as you move in tandem, your bodies tuned in to each other. Your eyes locked on hers, smiles directly at her... only her.
Wanda has to leave and collect herself, coming back to the kitchen only once the rest of the team arrives and stuttering in front of you. You wonder if she's sick, her face flushed and her eyes glancing anywhere but you. She refuses to let you near her that morning, her emotions getting the better of her as the need to push you against the nearest wall and leave dark hickeys up the side of your neck consumes her.
One time, after a long night of games with the team, Wanda retreats to her room and makes use of the vibrator she'd bought. It wasn't really her fault, you just looked so appealing in your sweatpants and tight compression shirt, bending over the pool table more times that she could count. Your fingers were quick during card games, Wanda's eyes catching them and wondering what else they were capable of.
And then... it finally happens. The confession.
You're at a party, after a successful mission that Wanda had been a big part of. Her first time truly working with the team and feeling like one of the good guys, and making a difference. You rarely left her side, knowing how quickly she gets overwhelmed at big events with a lot of unknown people.
At one point, some girl comes up to the pair of you, barely giving Wanda a glance before immediately gushing about how cool and awesome you were, her hand resting on your forearm as she chatted your ear off.
Glancing uncomfortably to the side, you can visibly see Wanda retreat behind her walls, her face falling and scarlet wisps wrapping around the rim of her glass. Her green eyes, normally sparkling up at you, are locked on her drink, watching the liquid as she slowly swirls it.
You don't know what to do, and the girl is so fucking insistent on talking to you. You just nod along with a small smile plastered on your lips as you keep glancing towards Wanda.
The girl eventually asks you to dance, her body much closer than it was before, and you finally see Wanda look up.
She seems to snap, her green eyes blazing coldly when she looks at you, and you can't help but feel equally as aroused as you are afraid. Wanda doesn't look at the girl, simply placing her glass down on the counter and grabbing your wrist in a firm grip, pulling you from the room.
She doesn't say anything, leading you through the halls until you finally reach her room. You barely have any time to look around, having never seen the inside of her room, before she's locking the door and pressing you up against it.
"You're not hers," Is all she can manage to say, and you nod, distracted with the way her body is fully against yours. Her hands grip the collar of your shirt, the fabric wrinkling slightly. You finally manage to form a coherent thought, a smile breaking across your face as you realize what's happening.
"Do you, like me?" You ask, and Wanda scoffs, finally looking away. Her hands loosen, as if she's realizing what position the two of you were in, before she answers.
"Yeah, I do. And it's consuming my every waking moment. I mean," She gestures at you, "Look at you. You're so fucking perfect, how could I not like you."
When she finally gains enough courage to meet your eyes, she finds nothing but happiness and a touch of excitement. You manage to say something stupid like, 'me too', before your hands are wrapped around her waist in the perfect way that she'd imagined. Then, you're pulling her closer, bodies flush against each other, and lips pressed firmly to hers.
God, kissing you was everything she'd imagined and more. You're utterly perfect, soft lips and warm skin and wandering hands that leave trails of fire across her hips, waist, chest, neck...
When the two of you announce that you're dating, everyone is happy for you, and in the middle of the congratulations, all Wanda hears is Natasha's soft voice saying, "Fucking finally."
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 6 months ago
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never not mine, m | jjk | "... in your eyes."
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
You'll find that you were never not mine. Wandering sometimes leads to finding. Finding sometimes leads to the truth. The truth sometimes leads to pinning someone to the wall and kissing them. But only if it feels right.
part i | part ii | this is part iii
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; sloooow burn; exes-to-lovers / second chance romance; angst and fluff and feels; your POV; smut (nipple play, scratching / marking, handjob, cum-eating / feeding, fingering, penetrative sex - missionary, doggy)
non-idol!AU; fashion model!Jungkook — ft fellow model/actor!Kim Taehyung and model/businessman!Kim Seokjin; reader is not part of the entertainment industry
--
“What is the most important lesson in your life you’ve learned so far?”
The most important lesson I’ve learned, huh… I think I would say that even though this world is difficult, tough, downright unbearable at times, it is okay to be comforted by the small things. I think a lot of people ignore those small things when they’re upset since they seem frivolous or out-of-touch to appreciate when you are having a hard time. But those are the most important times to enjoy them. We should not feel guilty about a small happiness. A taste of a favorite sweet. The sunset sky when you look up. Laughing with a friend even though everything around you feels dark. These moments will become the stars that will light up your universe in this black world.
For such a friendly, unassuming young man in a suit, he had been such a poet.
At first, you wondered if this was something you could apply on to your life. You had asked, it works in reverse too, doesn’t it?
He had tilted his head, inquisitive. What do you mean?
Small, painful things can slowly but surely break a reverie too, if you don’t take notice of them.
Ah. You’re right.
Each conversation had been insightful in its own way. The woman in the white dress. The most important lesson I’ve learned is loyalty. You might not make as much money or be as famous as you would if you turned your back on someone, but money and fame are fleeting. If you nurture those around you well, you will live a fulfilled life. The man with the silvery-blonde hair and white dress shirt. What an odd question. For me… to be proud of doing what I want to do, even if I may not measure up to the success of others. When I was younger, I thought it was more important to reach a massive audience, to have many people see my color. But now... I don’t think that’s what I want. I want to be an important part of someone’s life, short-term or long-term. I want my time to count to those who count. The woman in a tight denim number and lots of colorful bracelets. It’s important to be yourself. No one walks the same path. You might be too much for some but you might be just right for others, and those people will end up understand you best. The last one, a man with a bright smile and black dress shirt that seemed to barely contain his energy. An important lesson, huh? I guess I would say, go for it. Sometimes I’m uneasy or not confident in a new situation, and I have to remember to just go for it. Yeah, I think I’ve learned a lot from��just doing rather than thinking too long about it. The only thing holding me back was being scared. But, being scared doesn’t mean you can’t take action. It means you can, because you have the strength to acknowledge your fear.
Yes, well.
Going for it sort of ended in smashing over a million won worth of liquor into the ground.
You couldn’t blame the advice though. Honestly, you were glad for it. You were glad for each and every connection you made tonight with those strangers. You weren’t sure if Kim Seokjin had set it all up or if each one had approached from their own curiosity. A mixture of both, maybe. Before, they had all been only pretty faces. A shallow judgement for each individual’s hopes, dreams, and realities. You were sure that was Seokjin’s plan – for you to see for yourself what kind of world you were in.
Maybe not so vapid after all.
A little silly, perhaps.
“Hmph, well, at least I can thank you for not letting me walk into a porn scene.”
You winced as Kim Seokjin folded his arms. You both had stopped at the end of the hallway with Seokjin waving the guards away to speak to you directly. Your feet were mildly hurting from standing up for so long. It could have also been due to the emotionally draining past hour.
“I had no intentions of that,” you protested.
Those perfect brows furrowed in disbelief. “Uh huh.”
You made a face. “Nothing was happening back there.”
“Uh huh,” Seokjin tittered again.
You couldn’t keep looking up at him anymore. He held a hand up as you shifted your eyes to the wall, crossing your arms too. Mostly to keep warm. And to hide a bit.
“Nu uh, I don’t want to know what dirty things you two were talking about.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “It’s not like that–”
Seokjin cut you off abruptly. “Did it help?” he inquired pointedly. “Did smashing one of my most expensive bottles of alcohol provide the catharsis you were looking for?”
You felt your cheeks heat. “S-Sorry, I’ll pay for it–”
“Hmph!” He sounded and looked offended. “I don’t need money. I have plenty of that. What I don’t have plenty of is somewhat sane people in my life. I watched you destroy public property and slap one of my security guys as if it was a normal Friday night for you.”
You cowered a bit. “Ah… I’ll apologize to him too.”
Seokjin sighed. He was a refined man with a hint of childishness that gave him eternal youth.
“I was glad to see it.”
He laughed slightly, shaking his head. You stared at him.
“I was nearly afraid that dating Jeon Jungkook had broken you.”
Wait.
“Broken me?”
His large shoulders slumped a little. “Ah, it was… It was so obvious. With Jungkook, too. It was as if the light had been sucked out of him. And you. There was a coldness about you that formed. I worried if you could hear all the whispers behind hands. Hoped Jungkook-ah had shielded you from them or, I don’t know, made you impervious somehow. But you could feel it too, couldn’t you? The ostracization. And he had contributed to it, in time.”
He had noticed.
That was enough to touch your heart.
You faltered. “It’s none of your fault. Or his circle of friends.”
Seokjin waved his hand. “Of course not. But it was still there. Hearing mindless droning all day is still a minor annoyance that builds up to a hornet’s nest over time. And I – no, we – spoke up too late.” He lowered his arms, defeated. “There isn’t much I can do, I know. But I wanted you to know that not everyone among us feels that way. Not everyone has their head in the clouds. Not just my circle of friends, but lots of people in this industry are good people with good intentions who are much better at comforting words than I am.”
You felt a surge of gratitude. Maybe for the first time tonight, you felt like crying. You lifted your head to soft, black brown eyes that were the windows to a big heart.
“Thank you.”
He seemed taken aback. “Ah… Right. Yes, you’re welcome,” he mumbled awkwardly.
You bowed to him.
“S-Stop that!” He smacked your shoulder with a mix of panic and defiance. “Don’t be ridiculous. And, anyway, I didn’t even succeed! You still ended up in an altercation with that big-nosed dongsaeng of mine. Hah…”
You laughed a little. “Ah, I’m sorry about that too. It was my fault he was so riled up.”
Seokjin gave you a contemptuous look that would put even the most disapproving aunt to shame. “No, really?”
You tried not to laugh. He was making it very difficult. It was probably the designer suit and corporately-parted hair mixed with his cartoonish reaction. “Please don’t be too hard on him.”
He made a disgruntled face as if he had to deal with an obnoxious puppy. “You should be worried about me. I’m sure he’s back there stomping his feet and being a stubborn little shit. Hah, well. I’ll have security escort you to your car waiting outside. Don’t slap anybody.”
You pouted. His youthfulness was infectious. “Aish, I won’t. I know my limits.”
“If only your other half did.” Seokjin threw up his hands in exasperation. “Go before I change my mind.”
He wouldn’t.
You backed off anyway, letting Seokjin saunter off, and was greeted halfway to the door by a kind security guard who didn’t ask if you were going to slap him. He did seem amused though. He was professional enough to keep it to himself, leading you to a side entrance where a black car was waiting to take you home after a very long and enlightening night.
-
Night felt different now.
Days felt different too, but the change wasn’t as obvious due to the hours consumed by work. There was plenty of distraction during the day, although you became strangely aware to how the world seemed different. How the sunlight seemed brighter. How there seemed to be a rhythm to the birds’ wings as they flapped away. How you occasionally caught yourself scanning the faces on streets, looking for something.
Someone.
But the sunset is when you noticed the shadows dancing around you. As the day died, you watched people slip from their responsibilities to their desires. A warm meal. A visit to the store to pick up a visual treat or a world within pages. A chance to see a familiar face, ending in a hug or, if lucky, a kiss. Stories within bodies.
You, too.
You found yourself at the movie theater again. You spent a moment, scanning the titles, picking an action movie you had never heard of. Even splurged for the popcorn, shaking it up in the bag with the salty, garlicky powder getting on your fingertips. You spotted a few clusters of friends. Couples. But also a few single individuals that were busy getting comfortable in their seats, placing their belongings just so, as if they did this all the time.
So, you too, sat down and placed your black bow purse beside you, adjusting your popcorn bag to the perfect snacking distance. It was exciting as the lights dimmed to black, enjoying the music score in surround sound, sucked into another world of imaginary action that you could safely enjoy despite all the bullets.
With popcorn, of course.
It felt different now.
It was only after you made your way home that you realized why.
And you smiled.
Another night, you decided to stop by the mall. Not to buy anything really, but to listen to the music at each of the stores. In this day and age of everything online, it was rare for you to make the effort. It was different now though, somehow. Honestly, not so bad. You purchased an overpriced drink and pretended to look at all the clothes as you listened to what was popular right now. Occasionally, you heard something interesting and pulled out your phone to search for the title of the song vis one of the lyrics, the usual way you used to do it. There were definitely apps for identifying songs instantly now, you thought, but there was something hands on and extra satisfying of replicating an old process.
You found yourself in front of a wall of skirts.
You looked up at the colors, the patterns, and saw nothing of what was currently in your wardrobe.
At work, you were required to dress semi-professionally. A lot of single-color blouses, long black skirts, simple silhouette dresses. A cardigan was your idea of spicing it up. In fact, today you were in a maroon button-up blouse with a high neck and billowy sleeves, and your signature long black skirt. Black heels with a cross strap detail, nothing special. Before, while you were dating Jungkook, you had borrowed a lot of clothes, as they had been required for specific events. Transactions. Nothing you personally owned, nor needed to. Even the small, tight dresses that you had purchased for dates you didn’t own anymore. You had donated them all. They had been purchased with the intent to look like a model’s girlfriend. Not to look like, well.
Yourself.
A pink gingham miniskirt with small red strawberries stitched onto it caught your eye.
You left the store with a brown bag with a few parcels wrapped in pink tissue paper and a lighter bank account. Did you know where you were going to wear these clothes? Nope. It was different, buying without a purpose, and yet.
It was an excuse to find an occasion.
You settled on a bench with a smile.
You held your drink and lifted your head, watching people walk past. Seeing glimpses of their stories through the windows of shops. A surprised face at seeing something they wanted. A look of bliss once they took a sniff of a scented candle. A wringing of hands in front of a gift shop, running out of time and paralyzed by decision. You took a sip, wondering if they would be successful. Your thoughts wandered, as they always did. I have someone. Individual realities parallel to yours, with the occasional interaction a demonstration of interaction. Moments that required moving against the natural course for a purpose. Sometimes a brief purpose, and sometimes entangled because they wanted to be.
The question was, did you want to be?
You had become aware of how your line had been. Dulled by distraction, lacking intersections, moving the lonely course without remorse. All the small things becoming a blur of monotony. The roses had become colorless from the coldness that you had inadvertently held onto.
Bit by bit, you were finding color once more.
You stood up with your empty cup, hurrying to find the appropriate trash can to dispose it in.
“Hey, excuse me!”
You started.
A mother with her arm around a small child’s shoulders waved at you. “Your shopping.”
“Oh, sh–sorry!”
You went back, bowing repeatedly as you picked up the brown bag, startled that you had forgotten your quite expensive purchases. The child shook their head at you. You sheepishly laughed, letting yourself be scolded by the kid. “An adult shouldn’t be so careless!” Well, that was a bit harsh, but you thanked them anyway, waving as you parted.
You turned around, returning to your escape route.
Careless, huh?
Maybe the kid was right.
Someone in black was walking down the path. A man. He was walking fast. An oversized grey beanie with dark hair poking out. Body drowning in a slashed black hoodie and ripped jeans. Black boots. Black face mask. It was a bit odd because he was wearing sunglasses inside. Still, there was no reason for you to look twice. He looked up.
Somehow you knew your eyes had met.
You slowed down.
Jeon Jungkook slowed down, reaching up to remove his glasses.
Would your eyes have met if you hadn’t had to double back to retrieve your shopping bag?
If you weren’t careless?
You saw him catch his breath as soon as he knew it was you. You weren’t sure how he knew. Then again, how did you know? This entire adventure had been on a whim. He stopped at a reasonable distance from you, and half-lowered his face mask, as if to greet you. But neither of you could utter a word. You held your small black purse that you haven’t changed in several years. It was a simple design with the designer embossed in very small font above a leather bow sewed flush to the front. Unremarkable, really, unless you knew.
And he knew, because Jungkook had brought it for you.
The first gift at the very beginning. He looked from the bag to you. Wondering if he should comment on it. He hesitated, and you understood why. Two parallel lines. No interaction would occur unless one moved against the natural course and doing so would be, well.
Careless.
“I hope,” you started, cautiously. Something flickered in those big brown orbs. “I hope Kim Seokjin didn’t scold you too much.”
He lowered his head a bit, half-laughing and half-scowling. “I did get a scolding for causing a commotion.”
“It was my fault,” you acknowledged once again.
He shook his head. “No, it was mine.”
You half-smiled. “Wanna fight about it?”
Jungkook raised his head, still holding onto the bottom of his face mask. You could see the mirth in his stance. It was almost as if there wasn’t a weighing limbo trapped between you and him.
“Actually, yeah.”
Almost immediately, you saw him falter, as if he knew he shouldn’t say something like that. You felt a sting witnessing it. He opened his mouth, and you almost heard it, his casual, just kidding, and this wasn’t like him at all.
“Hey, Jungkook.”
You interrupted him before he could add, just kidding. He stiffened, exposing hints of the printed white t-shirt under the tears of his hoodie. You were both occupying space on the walkway. People needed to walk around, some unbothered, some slighted by the inconvenience. His name on your tongue felt foreign and familiar at the same time. An end and a beginning all at once.
I have someone.
So did you.
You smiled.
“It’s really good to see you out and about.”
His eyes widened. You hoped he could tell that you meant it. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat a bit, trying to eliminate the sudden croak. “Yeah. You too. I’m…” His eyes shifted a bit. He was always focused on you, regardless. “I’m glad I ran into you today.”
And maybe that was it.
You were okay with that, though. That might have previously been a lie, but not now. It was probably unnecessary to say. Perhaps you had spoken up for some sort of closure, for both you and him. A chapter ended in some way.
He rubbed the back of his neck, ticking his head to the brown bag by your side. “You came to shop today?”
You held it up halfway with a chuckle. “Ah, well… It wasn’t the plan. Ended up that way.” You noticed the way he intently observed your actions. Couldn’t avoid it, really. You lowered the bag, not hiding even though it was maybe the better thing to do. “What about you?”
He paused. Had he forgotten already? You watched him gain his bearings with bemused patience.
“Ah, I…”
Jungkook looked and sounded embarrassed.
“What the hell,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Actually, I cancelled a shoot last minute.”
Your head tilted. “I’m surprised. That’s not like you.”
His pink lips upturned. You could spot that tiny mole underneath them, right at the center. “Yeah…” He trailed off, unable to meet your gaze. Ashamed, almost.
“It’s okay, though,” you offered. You hated to see that expression on his face. “You did what you felt was right. These things happen.”
He scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I haven’t cancelled a shoot since…” He stopped.
You waited.
Jungkook glanced at you. You saw a pink twinge dust across his cheekbones.
“Since I first asked you out.”
You blinked at him. “What are you talking about?” You frowned. “I don’t remember anything like that.”
He winced and looked up at the ceiling, rocking on his heels a bit. “Actually, I… I lied. I pretended I wasn’t getting any bookings. Just to spend time with you in the beginning. But, uh, then I felt guilty. I wasn’t the man I thought I needed to be. The man you deserved.” He sighed, yanking one of his hands out to scratch his eyebrow absentmindedly. “But maybe I never was, because then I got swept up in all that bullshit.”
Jungkook looked down.
“I know it’s too late to say such things now.”
He seemed to collapse a little bit despite his tall frame.
“Now, it’s…” He sighed. “I can’t concentrate at all. I keep asking myself what I’m doing. For a while there I kept working in hopes that you would…” He grimaced again, but chose to ramble on anyway. “So you would still see me everywhere. Stupid, huh? And now it’s just…” He shook his head. “I think I should give up.”
You didn’t know what to say.
He took a deep breath and straightened. “Ah, my bad. I went on for nothing.” Bowing slightly, backing away. “I have a lot on my mind. I didn’t expect to run into you and now I’ve run my mouth like a madman.”
“Jungkook.”
His name came out of your mouth before you registered it. He stopped moving, looking back at you, halfway between pulling up his face mask. You struggled to find the words, clutching your unexpected purchases and your racing heart, his first present to you against your ribs.
“Don’t give up.”
You made sure not to break eye contact.
“It’s not like you to give up, you know. It’s my… my favorite thing about you.”
He seemed stunned.
“R… Really?”
You couldn’t help but smile. Nervously albeit fiercely determined.
“One of many.” You relaxed a bit, relieved that you were able to say so. You laughed a little at the absurdity of it all. “Although perhaps we need to stop doing these kinds of things in public.”
Jungkook jumped, seemingly realizing all the people around too. “Ah… Whoops.”
You bowed as you spoke. “Then, I’ll…”
The way he said your name, so soft and dreamlike, made you freeze mid-movement. He seemed flustered, stepping a little closer to you. It was the correct moment to pull back, replace some respective distance between you and him to keep a measure of strangers, and yet.
You let your eyes meet his under wisps of black hair sticking out of his beanie.
“Can we spend a little more time together? If it’s not too much trouble?”
It was. You had work tomorrow. You needed to get home and put away your things. Wash up. Do your nightly routine to unwind. Get back to being a responsible adult with responsibilities living a responsible life.
Your lips curved into a mischievous smile.
“Sure.”
-
“Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere.”
You were standing by his motorbike now. His pride and joy, yet you knew it was rarely used in his day-to-day life. For the best, probably, considering the risk. You weren’t surprised to see it today though. He always rode when he felt frustrated or out of it. The walk here had been silent, which you had expected. Jungkook was the king of speaking without a plan. You didn’t mind it, though. It reminded you of good times.
He awkwardly shuffled, obviously realizing that himself now.
“Hey.”
“Uh?” he answered distractedly.
“Why did you ask me out back then?”
He fumbled with his hands a bit. “Ah, that’s…”
You tilted your head, patiently waiting.
“I…” He stuttered a bit. Cleared his throat again. “I just couldn’t help but look twice. I thought you were hot as hell.”
You almost snorted. “Don’t you encounter enough of that at work?” you chuckled.
He shook his head. “No, it’s more like… Um, even if they’re attractive, everyone knows it is pretty for a purpose. They’re all taking care of themselves. Looks are the selling point, after all.” He poked at his own chest. “Me too.” He raised his head to you. “But you’re different. You don’t have to think about how you look will reflect in a paycheck. You take care of yourself for yourself.”
You thought about it. It didn’t seem that extraordinary. “Well, anybody can do that.”
He smirked.
“If anybody could do it, why could I only see you?”
Heat rushed to your cheeks. You raised a hand to smack him and stopped short. Instead, you let your hand fall and half-rolled your eyes. “Ehhh, don’t try to pull that stuff on me.”
He laughed behind his hand. “Have to try.”
You frowned with feigned annoyance. Jungkook had always been taller than you, even in heels, assuming you weren’t opting for miniature stilts. Still, you always had the impression he was never looking down at you, but up, even when his eyes were downcast.
“Yeah, that.”
You narrowed your eyes. “What?”
“That look you’re giving me right now,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I knew you’d be able to balance me out and set me straight.”
You squinted at him. You let out a puff of air and looked away, tumbled into memories where maybe you could have been the one to change the course of these parallel lines. “Yeah, and look where that got us,” you muttered.
Sigh.
Somewhere behind you, a car honked loudly.
“Standing next to each other?” Jungkook quietly asked.
Two cars were having trouble at an intersection at the end of the row.
Standing next to each other.
Your gaze drifted back and locked with his. He didn’t try to hide the emotions his eyes. You were quite sure he could see through you too. The impasse remained, not because a bridge couldn’t be built, but because it couldn’t bear to be burned once more. Once more meant it would crumble to ash and disappear forever. You had thought it already had, until tonight.
You tried to reason with the unreasonable. “You cannot believe you skipping work and me deciding to spend a good chunk of my paycheck to mean some serendipitous shit, can you?” you scoffed.
He gave you that brilliant smile that had tamed you from the very beginning.
“You–”
You poked him hard in the chest.
“Ahh!”
Jungkook must not have expected that at all.
He almost fell over.
Your hand shot out and grabbed a fistful of his hoodie, dragging him back. His body lurched, slightly off balance, and your elbow swung forward, bracing onto his abs, leaving your faces close enough together for bystanders to get the wrong idea. For him to get the wrong idea. For you, too. You were close enough to count his eyelashes.
Enough time elapsed that you might as well have.
“What… What is with you?” you muttered, gripping his clothes. “You’re so… dramatic.”
He had another piercing on the side of his right lip now. Huh. How come you didn’t notice? Probably too busy being mad at him. Or not staring at his lips in fear of indecent thoughts. This current proximity and shared heat were not helping. His hands were somehow on your shoulders. Probably to steady himself. Or something else. You weren’t sure.
Jungkook stared at your lips.
You didn’t back away.
He leaned down and kissed you.
He must be an idiot to put you both in this position again. You must be an idiot too, because you kissed him back. Fuck it. Your hand on his chest relaxed, fingers spreading out, pressing your lips to his, breathing him in. He still used the same cologne you had complimented on back then. It made you smile into his lips. His tense hands on your shoulders fluttered, one slipping down to your upper arm, the other grazing your neck. His thumb brushing the side of your cheek. His other fingers weaving into your hair, tilting his head slightly. No promises, but.
A dream made.
You tapped his chest, forcing him to break the connection.
“W… What?” Jungkook gasped, his short breath mixing into yours.
“Not… Not here,” you chuckled, feeling your racing pulse in your throat. “I think we’ve done enough public reconciliation. Adding public indecency is not it. Someone is going to recognize you soon.”
Those shadowed eyes watching you were telling you he was ready to risk it.
“No,” you gritted, punching his chest lightly. Surprisingly, Jungkook did not budge and held on very strongly to your arm. “Stop that. Stop it with the sex eyes.”
He grinned. You could tell from the way his eyes crinkled. “Is it working?”
You pried yourself from him with some effort.
“All you’re telling me is that you really like handcuffs.”
“Promise?”
You straightened your clothes and answered absentmindedly. “Promise what?” You looked up to give him an indignant expression. He took your purchases to place them in the back of his motorcycle, giving you no verbal response.
Just a sneaky smirk in return.
-
“What did you think was gonna happen?”
“Uh…”
Before he could make another sound, you grabbed Jeon Jungkook by the collar and dragged him to you.
It was different.
Just not in the way you thought it would be.
Part of you thought to hold back. Build a solid foundation to see if this would work. Talk for a long while, move slow, step by recommended step. Then again, if you actually believed that, you would have instructed him to take you back to your apartment. Maybe send him off with a kiss and a pat on the head. You know. The complete opposite of shoving him up against his living room wall and tracing your tongue over his moaning lips with his hands gripping your waist. If this was going to work, it was always going to work. It didn’t matter if it was the wrong way or the right way.
This love was either going down in a blaze of glory or start an everlasting fire.
Might as well get on the ride.
You let him kiss down your neck, your hands sliding down to his. Interlocking fingers. Shivering at the sensation of his lips in your skin, familiar and new. Body-to-body. You pulled up his hands to force him to lose the top layers, including the beanie, exposing his toned chest and gleaming tattoos going from his right hand to his shoulder. His hoodie and t-shirt fell to the floor in a soft thump. His hair was different than when you had last seen him. Sides shaven, the top still long, messy black waves due to being crammed into the beanie. He flicked his head back, sending black strands all over his half-moon eyes, glistening pink lips parted in a soundless gasp.
You took his wrists and pinned Jungkook to the wall.
Panting, watching him under you despite looking upwards.
“W… What?” he breathed, locked in your transfixed stare.
It was different, yet it was the same. You could feel it. There could have been many others between the last time and right now. You knew there wasn’t. It was both sad and validating, because you knew how much he hated being alone, but now you knew there was truth to those promises he had said to you between sheets and pillows.
You leaned down and licked a wet, fat stripe over his chest, dripping saliva all over him.
Jungkook moaned, leaning his head against the wall.
“You belong to me,” you whispered over his heart. Raised your head and he was looking back at you.
Only you.
“I belong to you,” he whispered back.
You skimmed your lips over his skin.
“Prove it to me.”
He surrendered.
To your tongue, tracing patterns over his collarbones. To your lips, dotting kisses and making him flinch, whining for more. To your hands, holding him down and at your mercy, exploring him with sight, touch, and taste. You let go of one of his wrists to trail your nails over his abdomen, observing the way his body rippled, lifting towards you as sensitivity increased. You let your fingers wander, around his waist and into shaded territory, running your nails down his spine, watching his reaction. His head tilted back, hair in wisps around his temples, dark eyes clouded in lust.
Your name slipped from his lips.
You dug your nails into his lower back and pulled yourself up, unable to keep the side of your lips from curving upwards at his delicious whines.
“Take off my blouse.”
His fingertips slid across the slinky maroon fabric. Button by button, the fabric began to unravel in his hands, your forehead to his as he did so. You took his breath, tracing his muscles, murmuring his name just to feel him shiver as he heard it.
“I never had anyone else after you,” he mumbled, circling one of the buttons with his thumb. “I couldn’t.”
“You could have,” you hummed. “You were a free man.”
Jungkook undid the last button and stared into your eyes.
“No, I’m not.”
You half-smiled. “I wouldn’t take it personally.”
He leaned in again, brushing your lips with his.
“I belong to you.”
His touch, his kiss, the dance of mesmerizing senses. You stepped back. He followed. Tangled in each other, your blouse slipping off and dropping to the floor. Your bra unclasped, tumbling, his hands all over, places he had been a million times and desiring forevermore, squeezing your breasts with his hands, almost tripping over your skirt as you stepped out of it. His pants joined the trail of passion, and then his tongue was on you, lifting you in his arms and tasting your hard nipples with your hands in his hair, clutching his head for support with your legs around his waist.
“I’m going to fall,” you gasped, breathless.
“Over my dead body,” was the muffled answer with his face buried into your breasts. “Fuck, I love your ass.”
Perhaps to avoid death getting two for the price of one, Jungkook let you down, devouring you with kisses with your taste lingering on his lips, sinking his fingers into the soft curves. You curled your tongue against his, making him moan, hips grinding against hips, feeling his insistent hardness against your softness, trapping himself between your legs. You were still in your panties and he was still in his boxer briefs, although the thin fabrics were merely a nuisance to the inevitable.
“Jungkook…”
He was thrusting into you and jamming his cock in between your thighs, his strong arms wrapped around you and his teeth on your shoulder. You hummed, torn between telling him off and enjoying the feeling of his arousal swelling between your legs, but it was he who gasped and threw his head back, his hard length twitching against your clothed pussy.
“You ready to include me in this?” you questioned, amused.
“S-Sorry… Can’t help myself…”
Somehow, by instinct and minor effort, you were both in his bedroom now. The familiar bed you had once called yours, remembering the future dreamed upon those white sheets. Jungkook pulled you to them, calling you to the paradise that could only be created between two. Don’t, was your meek protest as he pulled down your panties and kneaded your thighs, shaking his head, I don’t care, and his tongue slid over your heat. Wet, dripping, your sweet taste and his saliva. He moaned between your legs, decorating you with kisses before sliding his tongue over you, drinking you desperately, you taste so fucking good, fuck, and your fingers buried into the sheets. He remembered everything you liked. Steady, soft licks, then harder when your legs tensed, tipping his head to bring his lips around your clit, drenching his chin with your wetness.
His hands turned and slipped under your legs, dragging you to his face by your ass.
“F-Fuck, Jungkook…”
You reached down and gripped his hair as you came on his face, his muffled gasp of surprise drowned out by the moan produced through your arched back and prolonged euphoria. Fuck. Fuck, it hadn’t been evident how much you missed this, no, him, your knuckles against the crown of his head, his hot tongue all over, his fingers locked onto your ass, even the way his nose brushed against your oversensitive clit as he thrust his tongue into your pussy, triggering another wave of pleasure, sparking electricity that burned through your veins.
His.
He pulled himself up with a groan, his mouth all over your body. Leaving bites, kisses, licks in his lustful wake. Your nails dug into his shoulder and he made that whimper you loved, obviously wanting more, and so you clawed his upper back as he pretended to resist you, refusing to move higher as he sucked on your nipples, gazing at you under half-lidded eyes, rubbing your other nipple between his fingers.
“Take it,” you growled under your breath.
He did, rubbing his hard, neglected cock against your thigh, denying himself longer.
Over time, you had hesitated to do such things. Jungkook had gotten in trouble before for being marked up. After all, his body was his selling point, and booking back-to-back shoots with poor choices in between ended up in humiliation. Unjustly so, perhaps, but you never did it again. Maybe you should have been more considerate this time too, but, no, that wasn’t what he was asking for.
He wanted the consequences of you.
He brought his face close to yours, your orgasm still on his breath.
“Mark me,” Jungkook demanded, his voice low and deep and gravelly. “I’m yours.”
So you did.
Hickeys on his perfect neck, sharp nails over his ass as you pushed down his underwear, adorning him with fierce, vicious passion that bruised him. He kissed your forehead, buried his fingers in your hair, and pinned you to him, pre-cum dripping onto your hip as he kicked off his restraints, pressing his hardness to you.
“You’ll get in trouble,” you warned even though the damage was already done.
“I don’t care,” he retorted, his thigh rubbing against your still-wet pussy. “I don’t care if I have to cancel the rest of the week. I don’t care if I never work in the modeling industry again. The only thing I care about is making sure you always know how much I love you.”
You froze, your lips above the inked floral mandala on his right shoulder.
“I should have made time.”
His arms drew up and encircled your head, his lips against the crown.
“I’m so, so sorry for not realizing how disrespectful I was to you. And I won’t do it again,” he murmured, leaving kisses intertwined with your hair. “I promise.”
“I…”
You reached up and held his shoulders, anchored despite the turbulence of an emotional sea.
“I missed being by your side, Jungkook.”
If his hard dick wasn’t literally throbbing against your hip, you might have cried.
You reached down and touched him.
“Ah!”
“Woah.” Your arm hooked around his waist as your hand enclosed around his girth. “I’m just making sure he’s keeping interest even during this emotional breakthrough.”
His cheeks flushed as he realized he had chosen his moment with possibly suboptimal timing. He didn’t have to worry. His body seemed to recognize your hand right away. You could feel the way his cock eagerly twitched on your palm. You cocked an eyebrow. He gave you a the-fuck-you-expect look, and you curled two fingers around his balls, lightly massaging with the pads of your fingers, simulating your tongue. He gasped, gripping your shoulders.
You leaned down and spit in your hand.
“F-Fuck!”
You backed up and slowly, leisurely, spread the slippery saliva all over his cock, letting him adjust his knees to give you a better positioning. Your other arm had moved behind you, lifting your torso up as you jacked him off. He seemed to not know what to do with his hands, foreign objects in his possession before his eye line drifted down. Down. His fingers trailed over your breasts, squeezing them and playing with your nipples as you increased the pace.
“Handcuffs could come in handy right now,” you commented.
He glared at you.
“S… Shut up.”
His cock had throbbed at the suggestion though.
You tilted your head, watching his breathing quicken as you applied the pressure where he liked it, the same pulse every time, not too fast and not too slow, building the frustration with a smile.
His face tensed.
Faster. A little tighter. Your thumb rubbed just under the base of the head with every ascent. He placed his palms against your hard nipples and you felt the familiar snap of his hips, leaning into your hand, his eyelashes fluttering, and for a brief moment you considered stopping.
Then again, these weren’t your sheets.
He gasped out your name and shot all over your stomach and thigh.
Hot, thick cum splattered onto your skin, making you suck in a breath as you felt it, saw it, smelled it, intense and strong and all over you. You were lucky it was on the thicker side, white streaks sticking to your body rather than running off. A painting of perverse proportions. Jungkook stared at his work, still semi-hard in your hand, clearly turned on by the sight. You sent him a questioning look.
“What now?”
Then he shocked you, and probably himself, by diving down and running his warm tongue over your cum-covered skin.
“Oh, what–”
Instant burning tingles spread throughout your nerves at the contact, vibrating through to your core, dripping as you witnessed the milky white coat his tongue. Your hand touched his shoulder, drawing him up, and he was tamed by your gesture, rising, his lips smeared with his release, and you drew closer to the heavy scent, to him. Lips to lips. Drank it from his mouth, swallowing the mixture of saliva and orgasm. Your tongue tangled in his, his fingers in between your legs again, thrusting two fingers into you, following the pull you had on him. Deep, slow, faster as the kiss grew more intense, breath to consumed breath, rolling your hips up into his hand, tightening around him, and Jungkook moaned, getting harder in your hand as your slick arousal drenched his.
“Condom?”
They spilled over the bed in his haste.
You were pleased to see it was the same brand you usually enjoyed. There wasn’t much to be read into that, though, because they had become his favorite as well per your introduction. You wondered if there would be a second first-time awkwardness and you were immediately proven wrong from the desperate and experienced way Jungkook dragged your ass to line up his dick. There was no time to be anxious, it seemed.
“You’ve acting like you’ve never had me before,” you teased.
Those dark eyes narrowed. “Don’t act like you don’t have the tightest, most perfect pussy I’ve ever been in.”
You half-shrugged. “Things could change.”
He slid in and clenched his jaw.
“You liar.”
You smirked and closed in around his length.
“F-Fuuuuuuuck me…”
You could have probably kept it up if it wasn’t for how fucking good he felt inside you. Just the right girth, and he lifted your legs, deeper, gasping, reaching the depth you liked. Your thighs against his chest. You locked eyes. Jungkook cocked an eyebrow with a familiar smirk. The corner of your lips ticked upward, and the rough, powerful pace began, your hand gripping his tattooed forearm and the other the sheets, losing yourself to the pleasure, pressed between the mattress and his hard body. His eyes closed, your lashes fluttering, witnessing glimpses of bliss, whispers of sweet nonsense lost between moans, leaning your head back onto his pillows, sinking into his scent.
Belonging to him.
His hair flicked sweat onto your chest. Your hand on the bed bent back and shoved the pillows down, using the leverage to lift your hips to his thrust, moaning at the visceral sound of slapping hips, wet and loud and vibrating throughout the room.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he panted out between gasps. “Fuck, you’re so fucking beautiful.”
You tried to deliver a compliment back but it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Your orgasm abruptly interrupted any coherent though, forcing you to bury your head back and endure the vice-grip of wanton delirium, barely able to gasp out his name as the hot wave dragged you under, your inner walls viciously pulsing all around his length. You heard Jungkook groan and attempt to say something, probably how much he enjoyed feeling your orgasm, he had done so before, however he seemed to be in his own dilemma as well, clenching his jaw and snapping his head down, the muscles of his chest taut and tense, and, in your intoxicated haze, you realized he was attempting not to follow, but.
“Fuck!”
He slammed his cock into you and cursed, throwing his head back as you felt the jerk of his cock spilling into the condom, trapped in your tightness, dragged into the kind of fever that couldn’t be sweat out, sinking down, down.
You stilled, suspended in bliss.
It was a little easier to breathe now. You missed this. Him, specifically. The sex you had together, carnal and intense and unparalleled. Closed your eyes, breathing hard, feeling the familiarity of Jungkook on top of you, spent, sweaty, frantic for round two. He didn’t like stopping if he could help it. It was one of his best traits. You felt him lower your legs carefully, backing out of you with a hiss.
Then you heard a wet, dirty sound.
You opened one eye.
He was staring at your body.
Running his fingers over his still-hard cock, bringing it back to full hardness.
“Let me look at you.”
You hummed. “You’re only seeing one side.”
His dark eyes shifted up to yours.
“Okay. Turn over.”
Desire turned his voice deeper, huskier.
With a sly smile, you rolled over, and scooted onto your knees, spreading your ass for him. You heard him suck in a breath, that’s so fucking sexy, and you flexed, letting him watch, entrancing him with the visual and the obvious sound of your wetness.
“Every part of you is perfect.” You could hear him jacking himself off, hard and fast. “Fucking perfect.”
“I feel that your judgement is clouded right now,” you answered back, muffled by his pillows in your face.
You heard the ripping sound and then a groan as he rolled down the condom. Then his strong hands grabbed your hips, prompting you to let go, and he sank into you.
“Fuck no, it’s not,” he gasped, picking you up by the hips to fully sheath himself. You managed to pull a pillow to your chest to allow ample breathing room. “I don’t want anyone else. No one else can satisfy me.”
You made your pussy tighten around him and he moaned again, his hot breath washing down your spine.
“Then let me satisfy you,” you purred, leaning back into him.
Your ass met his crotch in a loud, gratifying smack, easily locking into a rhythm you both enjoyed. Hard, aggressive, powerful, not holding back, you lifting a hand to extend back, and he caught your forearm, thrusting deeply as he held onto you. All of his power was directed below, the grip on your arm simply a symbol of possession, forcing you to lift your head and arch your back, adjusting to that more fruitful angle, sending heat all throughout your blood and nerves, the tension building, louder, harder, more.
He let you go, and you bucked back against him.
Moaned your name, delicious and desperate, begging you.
It was hard to count your orgasms. They seemed to blend into one another, entangled with the passion and the beat, not wanting to stop even as you struggled to breathe, clutching the pillow so hard that you could still feel your nails digging into your palm. The lust searing and yet not enough, chasing more, wanting more, wanting him, only him, your only, the one that belonged to you.
Your head tipped back, seeing only fragments of your surroundings, your hair a mess over your face.
“Jungkook, I love you,” you gasped.
You felt his hips flinch and he moaned your name, long and drawn-out, his hard cock jolting inside you, gripping your hips so tightly you probably had imprints of his fingertips. There was a flurry of expletives and panting. The haze of inexplicable euphoria settling, unavoidable and desired. You closed your eyes, savoring his release, feeling the radiating vibrations of his high pour into you as he slid down, his hot hands over your back, his shuddering exhales warming your shoulder blades.
Sweat, in small shivering droplets, sprinkled onto your skin.
“I love you too.”
He pressed his fingertips into your rising and falling body, touching you all over, confessing to your racing heart beneath his lips.
“I love you so fucking much.”
-
“Are you sure about this?”
“Yeah, totally.”
You turned your head to see Jungkook staring at your tits. You tucked a knuckle under his chin and forced it up. He gave you the big-peepers-in-headlights look.
“Huh?”
“Are you sure about this?” you repeated once more.
He gave you a confused look. “Yeah. I thought we talked about it?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Pardon me, but I’m not sure how much I can trust a discussion we were having with you balls deep inside me.”
“Eh?” His lower lip upturned. “Why not?”
You rubbed your temple with two fingers. “Why not, hah…”
“I meant it.”
You pulled one of his pillows over your naked chest so he could focus. You weren’t even sure why he had these. Jungkook slept on one of those stiff cylindrical pillows that was supposedly more comfortable. You weren’t too sure about how good that was for his neck, but sometimes you just have to accept the strangeness of your significant other. He must have kept these for the look of a nicely made bed. Or for moments like this. His eyes went back to your face again, reluctantly. He seemed a little disappointed.
“You don’t think I meant it?”
You saw his eyes were drifting to your thighs now. “It’s not really that…” You considered it. “It’s more… Well, we’ve tried already, you know. Aren’t you afraid it’ll happen again?”
His gaze shifted. You waited, letting him collect his thoughts.
“Afraid?” You saw him reflect the past and the mistakes. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am. I’m definitely going to change from how I was before. I can see how my work-life balance was shit, as both a friend and boyfriend. I don’t want to go back to that either,” Jungkook mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I get it now. I can’t get time back. I was stupid, thinking me overworking myself wouldn’t drive you away, you know, we would have so much more time later… I went about it the worst way. I didn’t even discuss it with you. That was just me being selfish, and that selfishness made me insecure… I don’t want that anymore. I promise you that.” He shook his head and looked up at you guiltily. “Still… I can’t promise I won’t fuck up in some other way. And that scares me. But I have to act, even if I’m scared. Even if your final answer is, let’s not see each other anymore, at least I will have honestly given you my all this time, because you are it for me.”
You shook your head too. “There could be someone out there for you that is a lot more suitable than me. The world is the big place.”
He frowned, exasperated. “No. No, you don’t get it.” He placed a hand on your knee and looked into your eyes. “You are it for me. The world is big place, but my world is right here.” He poked you and you laughed, startled at the suddenness. A smile burst onto his face, holding your knee down, trying to drive his point home over your mirth. “Hey! Hey. I really meant it. All of it.”
You stopped laughing.
Somehow one of your hands was covering his now, feeling his warmth and hard knuckles in your palm.
“I belong to you,” Jungkook repeated, his own I love you. “I can’t love anyone else like how I love you. I don’t care if you believe me or not. Even if you leave me, sure, I might find someone to not be lonely with, but I will only belong to you.”
You held onto his hand, curling your fingers into his palm. “You…” This man was crazy, saying things like this. He affectionately squeezed your knee, flashing that killer smile of his.
“So… Yeah, I’m sure.”
He pulled his hand from under yours and touched your cheek, his knuckles against your skin.
“I’ll go along with whatever you choose.”
Truth was, you had already chosen.
“I’ll do my best too,” you murmured quietly, holding the pillow tightly. “I won’t let myself be complacent anymore.”
From the look in his eyes, you saw that Jungkook recognized that it had become an unintentional consequence of his actions. He smiled, still stroking your cheek.
“Yeah. Let’s be a team this time.”
You nodded, smiling back.
An extended silence of staring into each other’s eyes.
“Jungkook.”
“Hm?”
“Are you just imagining rubbing your dick on my cheek?”
His rough fingertips grazed over your jaw. “Yeah,” he replied dreamily.
You smacked his hand.
“Ow!”
“Pay attention!”
“W-Wha, what?” He pouted. “What am I supposed to do!”
You grimaced, feigning annoyance but also not really. This guy. “No wonder we could only have serious talks in public or incarcerated…” you muttered.
“Ah, yeah, that reminds me.”
You raised an eyebrow at him as he twisted around and reached over to his phone, watching the ripple of his back muscles as he moved. Damn. This guy. He bounced back, messing about on the screen. You were too busy admiring the definition of his arms to notice, until.
“What kind of handcuffs should we buy?” Jungkook chirped, turning his phone to showing you the screen display of a sex goods webstore.
You blinked at him.
“What.”
And thus begun round two.
-
epilogue
“Hey- oh, wow.”
You stilled, surprised.
‘Oh, I thought you were going to meet me there?”
In your hand was your well-loved small black purse with a bow. Your other hand held the door open, seeing the tall form of Jeon Jungkook gawking at you in his matching denim jacket and jeans. Calvin Klein, the same brand as his white t-shirt under the jacket. That same brand was holding a lunch event today, except one of their attendees was blocking your path, open-mouthed at your hips wrapped in a tight, pink gingham miniskirt with embroidered red strawberries. Then his stare went to your chest, to the emerald-green satin blouse that complimented the little green accents of the mini strawberries, although you suspected his interest was less in the color and more in the way the seams accentuated the curve of your breasts.
You raised your eyebrows.
“I… I left early. I wanted to pick you up,” he was saying absentmindedly.
You gestured to the black car waiting at the front. “I already ordered a car, though. I can’t ride with you on your bike in this skirt.”
“We can get in the car.” Jungkook’s eyes went back down. You knew he wasn’t admiring the delicate crisscross straps of your black velvet pumps. “Damn, your legs,” he mumbled.
The driver of the car was about to watch a live-action porno if you didn’t take action. You set the alarm and lock before stepping out. Immediately, Jungkook’s hand raised, as did his gaze. You looked from the tattooed hand to his face. He grinned, creating sparkles in his big dark brown eyes.
“I ran off, hehe. I just wanted to personally accompany my darling,” he admitted. “Hopefully no one noticed.”
You fitted your hand in his, letting him lead you. “You’re too handsome not to notice. What a troublemaker,” you joked, pleased at his rebellion.
“Your troublemaker now. Where are we eating?”
“There’s a French themed café near some shops. After, could we stop by the tea shop? My dad has a request I need to fulfill.”
“Ooo, I love adventures with my future wife.”
You gave him a curious smirk. His mischievous grin just kept getting bigger, that underlip mole suddenly visible like a secret wink. He had been dropping such hints lately. You pretended to gloss over it even though the discussion of dream rings had already happened months ago. You reached out to open the car door and Jungkook impatiently nudged your hand away, doing it for you so you could enter easily in your heels. It was a very nice thing to do.
Taehyung probably grilled such behaviors into him. Not that you were complaining, of course.
You confirmed the destination with the driver as Jungkook got in the car from the other side, taking care to hook his sunglasses on the front of his shirt. You heard his phone vibrate. You turned your head to see him snickering at it.
“Taehyungie’s mad that I left him alone.”
“Whoops.” You did feel a little bad.
He waved a hand, tongue in cheek. “He’ll get over it.”
Your eyes met.
He had such beautiful, expressive eyes that held the stars every time he saw you.
“You sure?” you asked quietly.
Jungkook reached over and stroked your cheek with a smile.
“I’m sure I want to eat lunch with my future wife, yup. Then I’ll buy tea for her dad so I can get on his good side.”
You laughed. “Sounds like a sweet master plan.”
His black hair loosely styled over his forehead made him look younger. You knew better. Perhaps grown was not the word for it, but you could tell he was becoming more and more of the man he wanted to be every day. Attending events with Jungkook was different these days; he checked on you throughout the night, actively included you in conversations, and even introduced you to people he thought you might enjoy talking to, now to the point that familiar faces would come up to you first before they recognized him. But what was more important was this – arranging quality time to spend together, more communication, and obvious commitment. The pleasant surprise not being flowers or sweets or other material things, and instead his presence earlier than expected.
His laugh at night.
His forehead kiss in the morning, even if you were half-awake in bed.
His silly photos of fogging up a makeup artist’s mirror with his breath and drawing a heart with your name inside it.
He still had a hectic schedule, but now you and him knew when enough was enough. You could finally talk about it before either of you became too stressed out or lonely by it. That improvement was worth that entire roller coaster to get here.
You smiled.
He smiled back, his knee touching yours.
He was still stroking your cheek.
“Jungkook.”
“Hm?”
“What are you thinking right now?”
He didn’t respond right away. He just adjusted his legs suspiciously and gave you his most innocent look that indicated he was most certainly guilty.
“Eh?”
You took him by the wrist and slowly lowered it before the driver could notice your partner-in-crime’s suspicious behavior. He pouted at you. The tent in his pants twitched. You cocked an eyebrow. Then you remembered something.
“Oh, by the way.”
He perked up. “What is it?”
You unzipped your purse a little bit and flashed the edge of shiny silver metal and chain.
“I borrowed something from a friend.”
Jungkook looked down.
Odd that it took him more than a moment to recognize handcuffs, considering that he – and you – had so much prior experience with them. His eyes went wide once it clicked. His cheeks flushed red. You smirked and rezipped your bag.
“What the fu–”
fin.
-
i hear... | ... the whispers... | ... in your eyes.
inspired by taylor swift's imgonnagetyouback :)
--
masterpost
337 notes · View notes
sonotpattismith · 2 months ago
Note
YOURE WRITING IS LIT AMAZING OMG- I had an idea: Sukuna switching in and telling u yuji likes you (romanticly and sexually) and eventually switching back and the aftermath…. 🙏🙏🙏
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forgive me for whatever i do. (yuji itadori x reader)
word count: 4.9k warnings: a teeny bit dark, angst, suggestive content, 18+ a/n: y'all, I think I kind of altered what the original vibe was meant to be for this request, but I am apparently physically incapable of not making a fic angsty, I'm SORRY. Also, this was a bit inspired by Remember You by Dominurmom, link if you wanna listen cause it makes me cry. I hope you all enjoy and please remember my requests are always open! 🥹🫶🏻
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Friends. It was a good word— a safe word. It was one you had found solace in hiding behind for years. How could you dare risk the beautiful ebb and flow you had found within the days of while you’d experienced with your best friend? No matter the pools of warmth that engulfed your chest with each glittery-eyed smile-- no matter how the both of you had always found your way back to each other whether rain or sunshine-- no matter how much you loved Yuji Itadori. Friends; it was a safe space. 
There was a time when you wanted something more. It was so early on, before you were too scared to lose him yet. When you two had first met, you felt undeniably pulled toward the bright-eyed and charismatic boy. Both of your lives had been overwhelmingly and newly hectic, what with your being thrust into a life of curses and sacrifice. Similarly, Yuji was still coping with the abrupt weight of managing the demon he now shared a body with. It was never the right time. 
So, your timid glances and blushing compliments soon turned into confiding conversations and fierce loyalty. You two fell into the gentle and safe rhythm of a blossoming friendship. Of course, deep down within the confines of your cowardly hearts, you were always drawn to one another. There was always a hope, never communicated, that maybe once your lives found a peaceful medium, you two would no longer need to hide behind the solace of friends.
This certainly wasn’t how you wanted it to happen. 
Yuji had always made it appoint to keep you and Sukuna at opposite ends of his world, in all senses of the phrase. He barely spoke of him to you at all, in fact. It was actually something you argued often with him about, worried about the impacts of keeping that kind of burden locked away would have on him. In typical Itadori fashion though, he wouldn’t even entertain the notion of an argument with you. No, he’d just squint his honey-brown eyes, and flash that bashful smile to you, a half-assed excuse about why it wasn’t that big of a deal falling easily from his lips. 
The truth was though, it was a big deal to him-- a massive one, in fact. After having already witnessed what that counterpart of his could do, the havok it could ensue on those important to him-- nothing scared him more than the prospect of you coming face to face with Sukuna. Yuji felt this fear so much so that he spared you the details. He didn’t want you to think of him in such a way, to know that any part of him was capable of such atrocities. Yes, he’d bear it all if it meant none of it touched you. 
So, when he felt his own body deteriorating rapidly in tandem with the whaling blows of cursed energy courtesy of the special grade the two of you had been cornered by, the thought flickered in the back of his head. Heaving out a pained groan, Yuji’s gaze found yours, and he pushed it back down. But you screamed. You screamed, and he couldn’t help you-- he couldn’t move. You screamed, and he was trapped beneath the concrete pillar that had fallen so unceremoniously over his heaving chest. You screamed, and suddenly, it was his only option. 
“Sukuna!”
The King of Curses was not one for favors, especially not for the brat that held him hostage in what was meant to be his vessel. He assessed the situation before him-- the one he’d been watching intently from the safety of his own shrine. Through his insolent vessel’s eyes, he could only see you. It was all the brat would look at, you were all he ever looked at. Whether it be the back of your head, hair swaying gently as you’d turn to smile at him, and Sukuna would always feel the boy’s heart clench fouly at the sight. On some occasions, you’d be looking right at him, your eyes with stars behind them, and the demon wanted nothing more than to rip them right from their sockets simply for the way his vessel would tremble under your gaze.
Pathetic. 
Maybe if the brat had been looking toward something else for once, they wouldn’t have been in this predicament. But he was racing toward you at every chance he got, taking blows that were meant for you, countering attacks that you had antagonized. He couldn’t understand how someone could be so weak.
So, he laughed. In the back of Itadori’s frenzied mind, Sukuna cackled at him. The boy whispered a plea, tears stinging his eyes as he watched you stumble to your feet in a grave attempt to escape the repeated blows being landed on you. 
“Anything, I’ll do anything, please!”
The demon liked the sound of that. Yuji could feel the control slipping away from him, his consciousness being sucked up by the all consuming darkness lurking within. For just a moment, he fought against it, staring up at you in an almost drunken haze. 
“I’m sorry. Please,” He called out to you, voice hoarse and morphing into one you didn’t recognize. “Just look away.”
In mere seconds, the boy you loved was shifting before your eyes. His features were sharpening; sinister, black marks pooling onto his skin like ink. The second set of eyes below his own snapped open, and they were looking right at you. Maybe, Sukuna thought, if he saw it for himself he’d understand, without the barrier of this boy’s soul in the way. Still, as he stared into your fearful eyes, he felt nothing but indifference-- no-- disgust. 
Jagged chunks of concrete rubble sliced through the air around you, knocking into your already weak body, some even slicing through the special grade in front of you. Blinking back the dust that invaded your sight, when your eyes opened again, the curse was desecrated; an explosion of grotesque, purple evidence of what it once was. 
Sukuna didn’t care to save you. What enticed him more for the approximate two minutes he had left in control of this body, was breaking down the brat a little. In all fairness, when you stood there so helplessly, so vulnerable with eyes full of fear before him, how could he resist? His impossibly sharp teeth flashed under the moon’s light as he stepped toward you, torn shirt hanging loosely off his shoulder and chest. 
You wanted to apologize to Yuji, to tell him that you tried to look away like he’d asked. It wasn’t a fair request though. No, not when your best friend, the boy you loved, was being held hostage. You feared if you looked away he might do something awful to him-- unaware of what lurked in the dark chasm of his thusfar imprisoned mind. 
“I’ve gotta say,” Sukuna’s gravelly voice reached your ears. It didn’t hold that playfully boyish cadence you had come to love. In its place was one that mocked you, laughing boisterously in the face of your trembling fear and anticipation of what he’d do next. “In the flesh, you’re pretty underwhelming.”
You gulped down the bile that threatened to rise from your stomach. Still crumpled on the ground from the last hit you’d taken, you weren’t sure if you should attempt to stand; unsure if he’d find that acceptable. Sukuna tilted his head at your silence, taking two slow and calculated steps forward. 
“Disgusting.” He spat suddenly, gripping you by your elbow to haul you up. You yelped in surprise, trying not to shed the tears that welled in your eyes at the sting of his nails against your skin. “This brat spends day in and day out allowing himself to be consumed. And for this?”
Your brows furrowed at his words, and you pulled against his grip. 
“Give him back.” You gritted through your teeth, fear igniting your body in tremors. 
Sukuna’s red eyes, all four of them, lit up sinsiterly, grin widening in a manner that appeared painful. You realized for that split second that he likely didn’t have much time at all to wreak havoc, and he was enjoying this. He wanted to hurt you-- to hurt Yuji, even with the limited scope of his abilities at the moment. 
“How romantic.” He cooed mockingly. His hand came up to grasp your jaw, forcing you to look into the eyes of your best friend, but he wasn’t there. Your stray tear betrayed you, slipping down your mangled cheek. Leaning forward with gusto, he licked a debauched stripe up the path your traitorous tear had taken, cackling madly as the salt tainted his tongue. Pushing you back a bit, his voice was suddenly booming, cracking at your abused eardrums with fervor. “All day!”
You tried to keep your face neutral, to be unwilling to give up the shred of dignity you had left-- for Yuji. 
“All day this brat pines and trembles and burns with the thought of you-- pathetic!”
For a moment, you felt your heart stop at his words. Surely he wasn’t implying that Yuji, even in the slightest sense, saw past more than just your friendship. You knew you shouldn’t. It wasn’t him, but your lips were moving to a different rhythm than your mind was, and you were whispering to him in hushed bewilderment, 
“What?”
“And you’re so stupidly oblivious, too? How revolting.” Despite his disgusted words, the baleful smile on his face grew that much wilder. It struck you then, how much you had disconnected yourself from the fact that the body before you, holding your body weight up with a deafening grip on your jaw, was Yuji. You didn’t see him. When you looked at that pink hair and felt the familiar curves of his hands, he wasn’t your best friend. “I suppose you’re not the only ignorant one. I can practically feel the way your weak little heart pounds everytime that brat looks at you.”
Your cheeks were burning at this point, and if he couldn’t see it in the dim moonlight, he could surely feel the heat under his mean fingers. Blinking away your tears, you willed your lip to stop trembling. 
“He doesn’t know it, you know.” Sukuna chuckled, spurred on by your painful silence. “I spend all day having to listen to him whine about his unreciprocated, little love-sick infatuation.”
It was making your stomach churn, the way he was turning your feelings for one another, ones that you were only now becoming privy to, into something so revolting. The words falling from his lips were ones you prayed so long to hear. You had spent so many sleepless nights staring back at your best friend where he laid sprawled out on the other side of your bed, both of you too traumatized from the day’s monstrosities to sleep alone-- to leave each other. This isn’t how you wanted to find out though. 
Amongst the desecration of your normal lives, you wanted to grasp onto the hope of innocence, of pure and untouched love and fondness. You hoped for bashful confessions and spontaneous kisses, ones that were purely Yuji’s intent. Sukuna was snatching the opportunity right from beneath you two, and he knew it. 
You shook your head, or tried to with the grip that was forcing your gaze on him. 
“My days are filled with his insolent whining, and I don’t find solace at night either.” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think by the eager way he was spilling these thoughts out to you that he was happy to spend his fortitude in such a manner. You did know better though, and you knew what he enjoyed was the chance of domestic normalcy he was ripping away from the boy that held him hostage. “No, he touches himself at night.”
“Stop it.” You spat, unable to hold back the dam of your tears any longer. They spilled freely down your cheeks, and you swore you could see his red eyes roll into the back of his head. Your weak hands came up in a desperate attempt to shield your ears from the intimate secrets Yuji likely never intended for you to hear-- not like this anyway. The hand that held your jaw quickly fell, and he laced his fingers through yours mockingly, forcing you to listen. 
“That brat thinks of you all night when he’s beating himself off like the degenerate he is. Sometimes he calls out your name too, when he--”
You couldn’t take it anymore, feeling as though you might throw up. Above all else, your heart ached for Yuji, and you wondered if he could hear what was going on, if he was clawing his way out. You wanted to apologize to him, tell him you never meant to find out this way. You wished you could forget.
“Yuji!” 
Your cry made the demon smile, but it quickly faded with a knowing furrow of his brows. Eyes drooping lazily as he looked toward you, he shook his head. The marks on his face were slowly absorbing back into his skin. His upper lip curled in disgust. 
“Pathetic.”
In an instant, he was falling to the floor limply, bringing you down with him. When you looked up in a frenzied haze at the head that fell onto your chest, you noted with relief that it was Yuji again. His eyes fluttered open deliriously, taking in his surroundings. Looking up, he was met by your grief-stricken expression, fresh tears clinging to your face. His freshly healed arms were pulling himself up clumsily, hovering over you in a way that made it obvious that fear was gripping at every nerve in his body. 
“What— what did he do? Are you okay?” 
It was Sukuna’s very intention, the manner in which you had no choice but to see Yuji so differently now. As he hovered over you, unintentionally entrapping you under his tensing arms and bare chest, you couldn’t help but blush as the curse’s words rang in your mind. The thought of the boy you’d dreamt about for so long thinking of you in such a way, touching himself to the thought of you, longing for you-- and he was right there within your reach. 
“You… you don’t remember?” You whispered, trying to calm your racing heart. 
Yuji quickly shook his head, his comforting brown eyes tracing down your body as if to assess the damages. When his hands molded around your waist to pull your shirt up, the one that was slowly flooding through with blood from the gash on your side, you gasped and flinched away. He gulped back his nausea at the racing thoughts of what Sukuna could have done to you to warrant such a response. His hands reeled back to his sides, and he sat back on his knees. 
“I got pretty messed up back there… I think I was still healing.” he explained slowly, wanting so badly to help you, but unsure of how you viewed him now-- how scared you were of him. What he didn’t know was that you weren’t scared of him, not at all. In fact, you wanted to pull him in, hold him close, tell him that you’ve loved him all this time as well. It should have been an idyllic occasion. In the back of your mind though, you knew if Yuji hadn’t confessed to you himself already then there was likely a reason, and you shouldn’t force the decision onto him just because the curse residing in him ripped away the layers of protection that shrouded those feelings. “Please, I’m sorry. What did he do to you?”
He didn’t remember, and maybe it was better that way. At least one of you could be spared the humiliation. It took some time, but you had convinced Yuji that you were simply shaken up from the fight, though you felt he still wasn’t entirely convinced. His movements were painfully careful as he carried you to safety. It was so clear in the way he touched you with such delicacy, that he feared scaring you more than he thought he already had. 
You stared up at the ceiling that night, tears clouding your vision as you toyed with the edge of the gauze that wrapped your abdomen. In all the time you two had known each other, you couldn’t wrap your head around why he was so scared of opening up to you about the monster he shared a body with. Countless nights you’d spent after missions, as he stared unblinkingly at a wall, begging him to confide in you. In just under five minutes with the thing though, you understood the cruelty he was trying to protect you from. 
There was a soft knock on your door, and you lifted your head up as it slid open. Yuji stood tentatively at the entrance, looking like the absolute picture of health compared to your mangled self. He was scratching at the back of his head awkwardly, a little quirk you’d grown to love, much like everything else about him. Flashing you his attempt at a bashful smile, he tilted his head at you. 
“Thought you could use some company.” He offered. It was somewhat of a routine of yours to meet together after a particularly grueling mission. The two of you would lay in bed, facing each other with moronic smiles on your lips as you talked about everything-- everything but the horrors you’d witnessed. It was the only way you could find yourself calm enough to fall asleep. If you two talked each other’s ears off about the comparable strength of two manga characters, or argued halfheartedly over what was the superior horror movie in your already trash-fire line up, if you distracted one another line by line-- the two of you would forget about what you saw. Just long enough to allow your eyes to forcefully drift in exhaustion. 
Now though, as he stared undecisively at you, you could tell he wasn’t sure if he would still be allowed such privileges. Despite being lost in the labyrinth of your own mind over the night’s events-- over him-- you smiled softly for his sake and patted the spot beside you. Your breath hitched as he eagerly closed the door behind him and climbed into bed beside you. His sigh of relief fanned over the side of your face despite his attempt at concealing it. You felt his eyes on you, his body already on its side and facing you, awaiting for you to do the same. 
“Oh, your side.” Yuji sighed in ackowledgement, and you simply nodded in agreement, not wanting to reveal that you simply couldn’t look him in the eyes without bursting on the spot. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as he reached out to softly graze his hand over the wounded area. The boy saw the way your breath hitched and your expression shifted, slowly retracting his hand. “Listen, I’m sorry for whatever happened back there. Please, look at me.”
A little piece of your heart broke off at the pained desperation in his tone. Blinking back the tears that threatened to form, you turned your head to the side to look in his wide, distraught eyes. Softening your gaze, you struggled against your pain as you forced yourself on your side to face him. 
“No, Yuji, it’s okay--”
“No it’s not!” In an instant, he was sitting up, looking down at you as his chest heaved with purposeful breaths. “He’s taken everything from me, and I…”
His shoulders slumped, and a rosy tint rushed to his cheeks. 
“I won’t let him take you too-- I can’t. So, please, just tell me what I have to do to make you not scared of me anymore, and I’ll do it, okay? I’ll do anything.”
Unable to take it anymore, you moved to sit up with a grunt. Yuji’s hands quickly shot out to help you until you were facing him. He looked back at you with such conviction, such longing in his gaze, and, with hindsight bias, you wondered how you never saw it sooner. 
“You’re my best friend, Yuji… I’m not going anywhere.” 
“Then why can’t you look me in the eyes?”
You pursed your lips, tentatively taking his hands into yours to hold them between you two. His breath hitched ever so slightly at the connection. Scraping your thumb over his knuckle absentmindedly in a manner that was scrambling his brain like eggs, you thought carefully on your next words. 
“You don’t think anything could ruin our friendship… right?” You asked timidly, eyes meeting his through your lashes. His brows furrowed at your question, and he found himself leaning forward to gaze into you sincerely, shaking his head quickly. 
“Nothing. Don’t you think we’ve been through too much together already? You’re kinda stuck with me.”
The hesitantly joking tone in his voice made you smile softly. Yuji had a way of easing your anxiety that way, as if there was a little door in your mind that only he had the key to open up and gaze into whenever he pleased. It gave you more confidence to continue your pursuit.. 
“And there aren’t any secrets between us? Nothing you’ve… not told me?”
Gulping thickly, he felt his face pale. There was something he was keeping from you, something he had come to terms with being content with if it meant he’d never put your relationship in jeopardy. An attempted smile broke into his face, but the corners of his lips were twitching anxiously. You could have melted at the sight. 
 “Uh… no. You know I tell you everything.” The lie stumbled from his lips unconvincingly. Your lips set into a firm line as you shot him a knowing yet playful look. Suddenly, his eyes were darting everywhere but you. They were at your hands, on your nose, on the ceiling, anywhere that would allow him to gather his thoughts. “Is this about the dent in your bathroom wall? Cause I promise I have a good explaination, a-and I was going to tell you, but you were already upset about the--”
“I love you.” It fell from your lips, permanent, unable to be drawn back in. In truth, the both of you could have died that night. Yuji was practically pinned under a building, and you had been face to face with the king of curses. The sentiment of either of you dying without having heard the depths of your feelings for one another was not lost on you. The lifestyles you led were perilous, self-sacrificing, and morbid. You already lived in fear that your next mission would be your last, and, as you were blanketed by the comfort brought upon by the proximity of the boy you loved so dearly, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel this type of fear too. Not for Yuji. 
“Take it back.”
Okay, maybe his blunt order hurt more than the boulder that flew into your side earlier, but you still stood by what you said. A small, breathless gasp fell from your lips as you stared at his solemn expression. 
“Oh,” you muttered out meekly, and, despite your burning embarrassment, you couldn’t tear your eyes from his. “I’m sorry, I just—”
“I wanted to say it to you first.” He reiterated, his lips pulled to the side in frustration, eyebrows furrowed as he regarded you. “I spent years thinking of what I wanted to say to you. Take it back.” 
Relief flooded your system like a drug, flowing through your veins and relaxing your constricting muscles. In its place came a bashful flush at his words. Smiling softly in disbelief, you shook your head a bit.
“Okay,” you drew out slowly, watching him square his muscles back as if preparing for his line. “I take it back.” 
Despite his previous determination and insistence that he had something profound to say, all he could do was lean forward to press his lips against yours clumsily. He couldn’t help himself, not with the way your twinkling eyes stared up at him expectantly, glimmering with an excitement he felt he was alone with for years. A muffled huff of surprise from you was swallowed right up by his eager lips as he lunged forward to deepen the connection he’d just forged. 
“‘M sorry,” Yuji mumbled against your mouth, reaching up to grip at the side of your face as if you’d ever run from him. “Know I talked all that shit, but I forgot what I was gonna say. I love you. I just love you. I’ve always loved you.”
He didn’t allow you any room for a response because his desperate push against your lips had you leaning back to accommodate the sudden weight, and you fell back against your pillow. The boy eagerly chased you, crawling over your panting form to pour out all the soliloquies he longed to spill out to you with some semblance of eloquence, he wanted it all conveyed to you through his frenzied devouring of you. 
Your mind was reeling with his sudden urgency, and you quickly came to the realization that the both of you had been living with this fear of passing one another up. Your hand snaked up to run along his chest, daring to explore up his neck and into the tufts of his pink hair. A soft moan of your name had you blushing profusely, suddenly remembering what Sukuna had told you about the extent of Yuji’s desires for you. You wondered if this was what he sounded like when he called out to you at night with his hands wrapped around himself. Squinting your eyes, you willed your imagination to take a quick u-turn, remembering that that wasn’t information Yuji had given up willingly. 
“Say it back.” Yuji suddenly demanded, finally tearing away from his assault on your lips to stare down at you determinedly. “Say it again.” 
Your free hand came up to cup his cheek. There was so much fear and guilt and sadness pent up in your chest at the prospect of what Sukuna had taken from him that night. It had never been like you to lie to him or keep things from him. As your thumb ran across his bottom lip lovingly, and he looked so accomplished, so content with how this night had somehow progressed in his favor, you realized that the curse hadn’t taken anything from him. Not when you were there to make sure that kind of hatred never touched him. 
“I love you too, Yuji.” 
His wide, boyish grin lit up the dim room. Swinging back down with fervor, the two of you laughed against each other as your teeth clashed messily. Humming contentedly, his wandering hands traveled down your side and snuck up your shirt. God, he’d dreamed of this for so long, and you were right there- underneath of him and pliable to his every touch. He knew he was getting ahead of himself, he could feel it in the way his boxers tightened uncomfortably against him, but he feared he may wake up at any second back in his dorm room alone, like he had so many times following his messianic dreams about what it may be like to have you. 
As his fingers creeped up, you flinched against his fervent grasp that lit your wounded side ablaze. Yuji was suddenly reminded of the night’s events, and he cursed quietly before reluctantly pulling away from you. Looking down at your flushed cheeks and swollen lips, an unbrittled exhilaration swirled in his chest. There would be so many more nights with you, he would make sure of it. He leaned forward to press a last, longing and solemn kiss against your forehead-- a promise that you two would come back to this. 
Carefully, he pulled his grasp away from your wounded side and settled down beside you. Unlike those countless nights the two of you shared a bed, Yuji laid snuggly against you, locking your knees under his strong legs. With his head propped up on his elbow, he beamed down at you, lovestruck as he affectionately tugged your shirt back down. As his fingers lingered against the protruding gauze, his expression creased a bit.
“You… you never told me what Sukuna did.”
Although he hated that he felt the need to ruin the moment with such dark thoughts, no amount of lust could have driven that fear from the back of his mind. Your smile faltered marginally at his words. Thinking of how excited he was to confess to you, and how ardently he fell into this new role so comfortably with you, exploring you with an innocence that was a stark contrast to the dark world you two traversed, you shook your head. Leaning up to press an assuring kiss to his cheek, you looked right at the slits under his eyes, as if daring the curse to acknowledge you. 
“He didn’t do a damn thing.”
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masterlist | requests | talk to me ❤︎
I love hearing everyone's thoughts! ◝⠀(ᵔᵕᵔ)⠀◜
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cielokittyy · 2 months ago
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Imagine a childhood friends to lovers with Chuuya Nakahara where you two met either in his Sheep era or Stormbringer and have known each other since. He tried to act tough with you at first but as you continued to ramble on and on around him, he eventually opened up and you guys started to get closer. He didn’t notice that he was developing different feelings for you until Kouyou hinted at it and constantly mentioned how much he was around you. The way he would blush whenever you slightly touched him but immediately would huff in feigned annoyance, should’ve been a clear indication of his growing affection.
During the time Dazai was still in the PM, he would pester you both about it CONSTANTLY. You always seemed to laugh it off though, not seeming as bothered as Chuuya was. Chuuya would definitely try to make moves during moments of confidence, but that ego would crush whenever you flirted back in that playful, non serious manner. (He just doesn’t know that you’re being serious).
Whenever you talk about your crushes or who you think is attractive he’d judge your tastes so hard. He would literally be baffled whenever you show him your “ugly” and “weak” crush and would lecture you on how you deserve someone better. Anytime one of you go to a party or get-together, the other is always coming with. The only reason why it takes him so long to finally admit his feelings is because of how close you are to each other and your inability to take a hint. (Hate to break it to you Chuuya babes, but bragging and trying to act nonchalant are not the best flirting techniques).
Though as you grow older and he starts to mature more in his feelings, you can definitely see a difference in how he approaches things. He would invite you to have wine and would finally confess in a way he deemed fit.
“Y’know, I’ve lost about everyone close to me in childhood except you.” He wasn’t looking at you. His gaze was stuck to the dark red liquid in his fancy glass.
“Aw Chuuya… I hope you know I would do anything for you.” You smile sweetly, thinking he was just being sentimental again.
“I know. I would do the same. All because I love you.” He finally looked at you when he said that, a romantic but slightly egotistic smile on his face. He wanted you to know his feelings, but he already knew how you would respond. Of course he was confident!
You blushed and stammered but before you could even respond, the two of you instinctively moved in for a kiss.
Chuuya would be a very attentive and loving partner, always trying his hardest to please you. Despite his work in the PM, he would do everything in his power to be there for you, even if you’re also in the PM. Your relationship as an official couple wouldn’t be much different than yours as friends, except now you guys are more comfortable touching and being romantic. You still have your gossip sessions and play fights.
Chuuya would just be glad to have someone to love who loves him almost as much. His loyalty would be strong for you and he’s always by your side to assist you. He’s literally the best lover you could ask for and would spoil you soo much (you know he can with that PM executive money 🤑).
P.S My inbox is open! Feel free to send any questions, rants, or whatever <3
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iloveboysinred · 4 months ago
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Closer to you [firelord Zuko]
Mdni 18+ | Firelord Zuko x fem! Reader smut
synopsis; -could be read as a prequel to Under the Canopy , you and Zuko have finally wed months after his coronation, you take a vacation to a beach home, where the two of you finally consummate your marriage and take the time to learn each other’s bodies
Cw- Oral, (f and m recieving), mentions of heirs, you and zuko don’t have sex until marriage, reader masturbates while Zuko is asleep, rough sex at the end, pain with virginity loss, virginity loss for both, outdoor sex, sappy fluff, reader and Zuko are both in their 20’s minimal editing bc i’m sure a small amount of ppl will read this i tried to include banners for the time skips but they weren’t cooperating soooo sorry for the spaces😭
5.5k words
Masterlist
“Esteemed guests and loyal citizens of the fire nation, we gather here today to witness the momentous occasion of Firelord Zuko and lady Y/n’s union.”
You let out a nervous breath, gripping the bouquet of red lilies to ease your nerves. This was it, your wedding day. You felt lightweight, your heart fluttering in your chest as the Head Fire sage continued his greeting. You glanced over at Zuko, who looked regal as ever, his hair neatly pulled back in a top knot with not a single hair out of place. He was wearing elegant robes to match yours, and his crown sat neatly against his bun, soon to be identical to your very own, sitting on a cushion right behind the Fire Sage.
Zuko caught your glance, his lips curling into a sweet smile and making your heart soar.
“We honor the union between Firelord and Firelady as they say their vows and become one in leadership.” Your full attention was now fully on the sage, ready to say your vows and complete the ceremony to take your place as Firelady, as well as your place as Zuko’s wife.
“Do you, Lady Y/n, promise your heart and loyalty to both the fire nation and firelord as Firelady and sovereign ruler of this nation?” Your mouth suddenly felt dry, your stomach turning as you realized that what you would say next would change the trajectory of your life. You would now devote your life to being a partner, a ruler, a wife. There was no backing out, no running away from the pressures of your new life and the responsibilities that came with it.
Knowing the weight of your next words, you spoke them with confidence, all doubts dissolving in your mind.
“I do.”
******
The celebration was grandiose. The large ballroom of the palace is alive with music and chatter between the guests. Banners of deep reds and gold decorate the space. Large tapestries of the fire nation insignia drape down from the walls, basking the room in warm colors, the extravagant chandeliers hanging from the ceiling tying it all together.
You sat next to Zuko on your thrones, the slew of gifts and offerings from your guests neatly set out in front of the both of you on a table for all to see and bring more as they please.
“I don’t think I've had the chance to tell you today,” Zuko’s voice cuts through the fray, drawing your attention back to him. Not that it wandered very far in the first place. You raised your eyebrows, prompting him to continue. “But you look so beautiful, esteemed Firelady of the Fire nation.” there was a hint of teasing to his tone, the honorifics sounding so unnatural coming from his lips. “Why thank you, Mr.Firelord” you playfully quipped, he snorted leaning forward to rest his forehead on yours. “I also don't think I've told you that I love you today” he murmured, ghosting his lips over yours. & you felt as if you'd swallowed a spoonful of honey, your unspoken words of affection settling a warm pool in your chest. “So tell me, your highness” you whispered, pressing a quick kiss to his lips basking in the radiant smile that graced his face. “I love you.” and his words were all you could hear. In the midst of the grandeur it suddenly was just you and him. Heart to heart.
Just as you were going to respond, Kitara and Aang came up to you, bright smiles on their faces as they voiced their congratulations and well wishes. You couldn't help but eye the betrothal necklace around her neck, so similar to the one passed down to her by her mother, but uniquely crafted to represent her and Aang’s love. You ghosted your fingers over your wedding ring; a beautiful red jewel held in silver, the center piece in the shape of a lotus flower. You smiled, things had really changed since you’d last seen them.
“Really? That's amazing, congratulations you two” your train of thought was interrupted and you quickly tried to pick back up on the conversation. “Thank you, Zuko. We’ll hope to see you two at the presenting ceremony” Aang smiled, placing his hand over Kitara’s stomach. And you beamed, looking at Zuko with an excited look on your face. “Kitara? You’re expecting? What wonderful news! We wouldn’t miss it for the world, don’t worry!” You gasped, reaching out to tenderly place your hand over her still flat stomach. You felt a wave of emotion wash over you, this was someone you’d basically grown with. You had seen it all together and now— oh. The sudden thought struck you and you glanced over at Zuko, who had turned a few shades too red when he caught your eye, seemingly knowing what you were thinking.
As Firelady it was your duty to both serve your nation and your husband as a dutiful wife and leader. Part of that duty was to provide an Heir. An heir. the thought sat heavy and unspoken between the two of you. Sitting back up to keep yourself composed, you exchanged a few more words of congratulations with Aang and Kitara before they headed back to mingle with the rest of the party.
“And now, the first dance for the newlyweds. Please clear the ballroom!”
Zuko stood from his seat, your train of thought having little time to continue running rampant in your mind before he turned to you and extended his hand out for you to take. “May I have this dance, lady y/n?” He mused and you rolled your eyes at him, a soft smile adorning your face. “Don’t be cheesy, baby” you giggled, your cheeks burning as he led you to the center of the ballroom.
The crowd dispersed to give you your space, the spotlight now on you and your husband. The lights were dimmed and the band began to play slow, sentimental music as you and Zuko swayed together wrapped in each other’s arms. His eyes glistened with emotion as he stared into your gaze his irises warm pools of melted honey, filled to the brim with affection and love for you. Despite the people in the room, the gazes you and Zuko exchanged were private. Unspoken words and emotions translated into touch—his hand snug on your waist and your arms tight around his shoulders. He held you closer, your body flush against his. The warmth of his body seeped into you through your dress, the natural scent of cinnamon and citrus you had come to know as his comforted you as it took over your senses. Tenderly, you leaned your cheek on his chest, closing your eyes and losing yourself in him
It was only when the music stopped that you came back to reality. Parting from Zuko’s embrace to envelop his lips in yours, the crowd cheered and swooned at your unabashed display of love. He held onto you proudly in front of the crowd, adjusting the newly acquired crown on your head as you pulled away from him. There was no question that you were his and that he was yours, and the entirety of the world knew it.
As the night went on, you and Zuko prepared for your short voyage to the beach house he had specifically built for you as a token of his affections. It was meant to be a two week stay in which you and Zuko would be mostly alone, enjoying the last few moments of freedom together before you’d be just as wrapped up in political meetings and paperwork as he was. While you packed, you couldn't help but let your mind drift back to thoughts of the future. How many children would you have? When would you have them? Were you even ready? You tried to shake them off but they plagued your mind, a blush warming your cheeks when you’d thought about how exactly you’d reach that goal. You shivered, imagining exactly how it would feel to be at your husband’s mercy. Vulnerable and open for his taking. It sent a strong surge of heat through your body, and you squeezed your knees together to force it away. You briefly wondered if Zuko was thinking the same way you were.
The trip went by quickly, and you soon found yourself in the grand hall of the very sizable beach home Zuko had designed. It was open; large floor to ceiling windows allowed vast amounts of sunlight to bathe the space, a stark contrast to the comforting darkness of the palace. The walls were painted beige and the home had sandy brown hardwood flooring. Multiple portraits for your families adorned the halls, the newly completed tapestry of you and Zuko was the center-piece, taking up an entire wall all on its own. You sat at one of the windows, soaking in the view of the beach in front of you. It was serene, the ocean stretched on forever, beautiful blue shining with the sun tucked over the horizon. The warm breeze gently blowing through your hair brought with it the calming scents of the ocean and you sighed, relaxing into the beach chair you had brought with you.
Zuko was in the kitchen trying his best to replicate the simple recipes Iroh had attempted to instill in him when he was just a boy. He cut the vegetables and trusted his hand when adding the spices. The stew he had begun to simmer on the stove emitted a pleasant aroma, and he considered it a success. He covered the pot, putting the fire out and instead replacing it with a weaker flame he had cast with his finger. Leaving the stew on low heat, he decided he would seek you out. Walking out he found you blissed out and relaxed by the opening of the hall. He smiled to himself, padding up to sit beside you in the unoccupied chair. He reached over and grabbed your smaller hand in his, squeezing it to wake you out of your sleep.
*****
“Woah, this is really good, honey!” You hummed in delight as you took another spoonful of the stew Zuko had prepared. You both sat at the table, set right by a large window where you could see a single palm tree overlooking the sandy floor of the beach. The tree swayed in the wind, heavy with coconuts and shading a significant amount of space. A perfect lounge spot for after your meal, you thought. “Yeah, it's pretty alright. Uncle taught me this recipe when we were in Ba Sing Se” a smile quirked at his lips, fondness in his eyes as he remembered his uncle. “He only made it for me once, but he made sure to write down all his recipes…I guess it came in handy.” You nodded, reaching over to briefly squeeze his hand in comfort before hungrily returning to your bowl. Zuko chuckled as you scarfed the stew down, shaking his head as he brought another spoonful to his lips.
*****
Night had fallen by the time you and Zuko had finished unpacking and settling in. You sat outside on the beach floor, on a large towel protecting you from the grainy sand beneath you. The moon reflected beautifully in the dark water, the gentle sound of waves crashing onto shore making you feel a sense of calm. Zuko sat next to you, wearing nothing but a beach towel around his waist and a pair of shorts. He distractedly stared up at the night, hundreds of stars gleaming against the sky. You leaned closer to him as the chilly breeze blew over your bare shoulders, the bikini top you wore doing absolutely nothing to shield you from the cold. Zuko pressed a warm kiss to the crown of your head, wrapping his arm around you. “Cold?” He murmured, nosing into your hair. “A little- but I think I'll be okay.” He hummed, reaching down to undo the knot holding his beach towel together. Your eyes widened slightly and you blushed, holding your breath as he pulled it away, his bare thighs now in full view. You shyly looked away as he wrapped the towel over your shoulders, pressing a warm kiss to your cheek.
Zuko was always affectionate with you, so you almost paid it no mind when his hand rubbed up and down your hip, or when his warm lips grazed the skin of your throat, his hair tickling your neck as he pressed wet kisses down your skin. His touch was careful, almost hesitant as his kisses crept lower and lower down your chest. You jerked as his hand came up to trace over the fabric of your bikini top, the pad of his thumb briefly brushing against your clothed nipple. He halted at your reaction, pulling away with an apologetic look on his face. “Was that too much? I’m sorry-“ you shook your head, your hand coming up to cradle his face.
Your stomach fluttered when his eyes met yours, the blush on his face a dead giveaway of his anxiety. “I actually..liked it” you offered a reassuring smile, leaning forward to press a sweet kiss to his lips. Zuko pressed back into you, his hand coming up to tangle with yours, still cradling his cheek. His other arm found its home on your waist, pulling you closer and leaving you breathless as he deepened the kiss your exposed skin meeting his bare chest sending a shiver up your spine. He slowly lowered you on the towel, his hands leaving you to lift your thighs over his. He pulled away from you panting, his heart lurching in his chest as he looked at you beneath him, your face flushed and your lips kiss-swollen.
His eyes flitted down your body, stopping at the loosely tied knots of your bikini. He gazed back up at you, his eyes glinting with something unfamiliar. Slowly, he dragged his hands down your sides, your breath baited as his hands trailed down your waist, his eyes locked on yours. You felt pinned down by his gaze, too drawn in to even think about moving. Finally, he stopped at the knots tying your bikini together, teasing them with the tips of his fingers, slipping them in and out from under the straps.
It felt like the desire in his eyes would consume you, and you spread your thighs wider to welcome him in.
“I wanna taste you, baby.” He breathed, quiet words for only you to hear. You slowly nodded your head, the desire burning in your core rendering you defenseless against the temptation of having your husband between your thighs— hungry for your intimacy.
He was swift, pulling the strings and undoing the knots. He held his breath, pulling the cloth off with nimbility. The cool air blew over your dampening folds, making your legs quiver with the urge to close. He sighed in relief, as if your pussy was the solution to all his problems, and maybe it was; because Zuko pressed his lips to your pussy, breathing you in and moaning at the taste. You gasped, covering your face in abashment as he experimentally flattened his tongue against you, trying to catch every little drop of your essence on his tongue. For the first few minutes it was just that– Zuko experimenting, finding his rhythm and poking and prodding with his tongue, your pretty sounds of pleasure guiding him.
It was only when his tongue passed your clit over in a swipe that you arched into his mouth, gasping as your hands came down to tangle in his hair, pushing him further in between your legs that he got the idea on how to pleasure you further.
And he wasted no time abusing this newfound discovery.
He closed his eyes, wrapping his glistening lips around the delicate bud and sucking on it, his tongue a tight squeeze around the suction as the tip flicked and swiped over the surface. You felt like you were floating, waves of pleasure coursing through your body in alternating intensity. You laid there, your mouth open in a soundless moan as his fingers found your entrance, teasing over the delicate opening before sliding in with ease, the mix of spit and your arousal making it easy. It didn’t take too long for you to come undone at his hands, his fingers and tongue working in tandem to build you up. The high was exhilarating, your toes curling as his fingers continued to move against your plush walls, your pussy twitching and spasming around his fingers and tongue. You pulled him off with shaking hands, his lips and chin glistening with the creamy residue of your orgasm. He was panting when his lips found yours again, pressing you hard into the towel as his weight overtook you. You kissed him back, clinging onto his shoulders as the breath was pulled from your lungs.
Carefully, he pulled away from you looking at you in complete adoration. His dark hair was disheveled and frizzy, but he could care less as he brought you to his chest, his arms secured around your waist. “That was…” “amazing.” you finished his sentence, looking up at him in earnest. He smiled, nodding his head in agreement. “Yes. amazing,” he ran his fingers through your hair lovingly, “better than i’ve ever imagined.”
******
The next few days went by in a blur. You and Zuko had opted to start exploring the island, going to local markets and indulging in the culture the small village had cultivated. They welcomed you both kindly, offering all kinds of commodities and gifts to the newlywed leaders of the fire nation. In a way, you felt at home. The beach home had become a safe haven, the two of you retreating to its safety whenever the day had been fulfilling. You sat in the kitchen as he cooked, staring a little too hard at the rippling muscles on his back. You shifted in your seat, briefly remembering the way he had so carelessly taken his fill of you on the beach just nights prior. A wave of heat overcame you and you felt your clit pulse in exhilaration. He turned towards you, setting your plate on the counter and sitting himself next to you. Humming, you brought a spoonful of the rice and pork he had prepared, moaning in delight as the flavor bathed your taste buds.”If I knew you could cook like this, I'd give the palace cooks a lot more days off.” you joked, bringing another spoonful of the food to your mouth, chewing happily. “You never asked,” he smiled as he watched you eat, taking a sip of his water. “I'd cook you anything you want.” you nodded in appreciation “i’ll keep that in mind.”
Finished with the meal the two of you washed the dishes together, chatting and joking around. Your arms were covered to the elbow in suds, and you playfully flung some him his way, giggling at the stricken look on his face. “Oh you think you’re funny,” he grabbed a large mass of the suds, smearing it over your hair. “Hey!” quickly a fight ensued, suds and water flying back and forth throughout the kitchen. Moments later, you laid on the floor with your wet shirt stuck to your chest. Zuko sat next to you in a criss-cross, wiping the soap water off his forearms. He gently began to pat the remaining suds off your hair. Sighing, you closed your eyes as he began to thread his fingers through your damp locks, pressing warm kisses to your face every now and again. It was dark outside, and the beach house was dimly lit with the flames of the wall lamps, creating a calming atmosphere. You almost wanted to doze off right there. “Had enough?” he playfully poked your side, earning a gentle swat at his hands. “Mmh, more than enough. M’tired.” he chuckled, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face. “Tired, huh? That's new.” his face crept to yours leaving a sweet kiss lingering on your wet cheek. “Let’s head to the shower and then we can sleep all you want.”
But sleep didn’t come easy. Your mind kept replaying the events from a few nights ago over and over in your head while Zuko slept peacefully next to you, pressed against your side. Staring up at the ceiling, you tried to ignore the aching in your pussy, your body and mind betraying you, the dampening of your panties impossible to ignore. Your heart sped up as your mind replayed the obscene memories of your husband between your legs, lapping up your arousal and deliciously bringing you to your climax. Sighing, your hand crept down to your panties, hesitantly teasing at the silky band. Glancing over at Zuko, you faltered. Your husband was a fairly deep sleeper, one quick little swipe wouldn’t wake him up, right? You pushed the hesitation away, slipping your hand past the band and parting your pussy lips with the tip of your fingers. You sighed as your clit brushed against the pad of your finger, sensitive and pulsing.
You tested the waters, rubbing your nub from side to side, biting your finger to muffle the small gasps of delight leaving your lips. The rhythm you had started soon became dull and you pressed harder, now rolling circles into your clit trying to mimic the sensation Zuko’s tongue had provided. Soon you had built a pattern of alternating between small, tight circles over your clit to quick, heavy swipes over the surface. It was intoxicating, the waves of pleasure rolling over you, and subsequently it became harder to keep your whines at bay. Zuko shifted beside you and you flinched, looking to see if he was still asleep. His breathing stayed even, and he didn’t move again so you resumed, sneaking your hand a little lower to tentatively sink a finger in, slightly leaning forward to sink it in further up to your first knuckle, gasping as you felt the warm, wet suction of your walls. Lost in the haze, you almost jumped out of bed when you felt your husband’s warm hand cup over your pussy, his face coming up to lay over your collarbone. “Hmm, I thought you were tired.” he rasped, his sleep laden voice making your pussy clench around your fingers in response, warmth pooling in your core. “I-i’m sorr-” he cut you off, pressing his lips against your own, swallowing your apology. “Don’t be.” he murmured, his hand easing yours away from your pussy and replacing your fingers with his own. “You could’ve just asked..” you leaned back, spreading your legs wider to give him more room. “Didn’t wanna..wake you.” you sighed in pleasure, Zuko’s fingers filling you up nicely, his pace moderate as he pumped them in and out of you, muffled squelching from your arousal sounding from under the covers. “If this is what I'm waking up to, I wouldn't mind.” he slowly lifted the covers up from your bodies, discarding them behind him on the bed. You moaned, feeling his lips trail hot kisses down your body.
He stopped his trail right at your navel, shifting so that he could situate himself in between your legs. “What a mess..” he sighed, eagerly pressing his mouth to your soping wet pussy, lapping up anything he could. “Pussy so sweet, I don't think I'll ever be satisfied.” your face burned as he buried himself into you, his nose bumping up against your clit as he shoved his tongue inside of you, pushing it in as far as he could go. “Don’t say stuff like that..” you whined, your legs quivering as he pulled away to suckle on your clit. He said nothing, too preoccupied with slipping his fingers into you, groaning into your cunt as your taste bathed his tongue. His eyes were closed in half-awake bliss, and you briefly felt bad for waking him up so late. Looking down at him, you noticed his hips jolting into the bed, his muffled groans only increasing in volume the faster he went. It was clear that he needed relief too.
You tapped his shoulder, waking him from his entrancement and pulling him up towards you. He sat up, confusion in his sleepy gaze. “I..i want you to feel good too, Zuko” you pointed at his crotch, the hard outline of his dick bold in the fabric of his boxers. “You don’t have to baby, I'm fine with just taking care of you,” you shook your head, running your fingers over the bulge, smiling when you felt him shiver under your touch. “I want to.” he nodded, helping you ease off his boxers, your mind reeling as his dick hung heavy between his legs, thick and glistening with pre. “How am I going to do this?” you thought, reaching forward to wrap your hand around his girth, sliding it up and down his length, feeling slightly confident as his breathless moans filled your ears. “Faster baby, please” he gasped, your speed increasing as you stroked him, thumbing over his tip and smearing his precum over it. His hips lightly bucked into your hand, his eyes closing in bliss. Feeling bold, you laid down on your stomach, grazing your lips over the head of his dick. He jolted, his hands coming to rest over your cheeks. “Baby..” you shushed him, looking up into his eyes through your lashes. “Just let me do this. Let me try” and slowly, he dropped his hands from your face, instead resting them on your shoulders as you slipped the tip into your mouth.
Zuko winced, watching as you tried to take him in fully, tears pricking your eyes as his cockhead brushed against the back of your throat. “Just breathe baby..take it easy” you nodded as best you could, breathing through your nose as you tried to swallow him further. It was too much, the thick girth of his dick making you gag and sputter around him. You pulled away heaving for air, a thin line of spit connecting you to his tip. He comfortingly caressed your cheek, brushing your hair away from your face. “You okay?” He rasped, wiping the spit from your bottom lip. You nodded, taking a deep breath before you were on him again, this time holding your breath as your took him whole, forcing his length down your throat for a few heartbeats before pulling upwards, bobbing your head in steady rhythm.
Zuko moaned, your warm mouth sending hot waves of pleasure up his spine and throughout his body. His hands came down to squeeze and knead his balls as you continued sucking him off. You made a mental note to do that for next time, seeing as with every gentle squeeze his dick twitched in your mouth, his legs quivering with every bob of your head. It didn’t take much more for him to pull you off of him, thick spurts of cum oozing out from his aching tip. He panted, eyes laden with sleep and lust as he pulled you towards him, locking lips with yours in a heated kiss. Zuko eased you back into the pillows, his lips hungrily pressed against yours, his tongue tracing over your bottom lip and sucking your tongue into his mouth. His hands wandered over your body, committing every curve and dip to memory, feeling the heat of your arousal against his body. Easing himself between your legs, you tensed feeling the weight of his dick slap over your fluttering pussy. He pulled away, sensing your apprehension. “You okay?” He grabbed your chin, meeting your eyes to his. “We can stop-“ you shook your head “no..i don't want to stop. Just, be gentle, okay?” He leaned down and kissed you again. “Of course I will. We can take all the time you need.”
Pain. Hot, searing pain is all you could feel. Despite ample prep from Zuko’s fingers and tongue, it did little to fully dull the ache that came with the stretch of his length. He was a little more than half way in now, your knuckles white as you gripped his arm for comfort. He pressed warm kisses to your face, your legs hoisted up to his shoulders. It was hard for you to breathe, the air feeling like its completely left your lungs. Was it supposed to hurt this bad? You didnt know, your eyes glossy with tears as your slowly tried to relax your body. “Baby, breathe” Zuko whispered, his lips warm against the skin of your neck. You nodded, trying to take deep breaths and try to focus on something other than his dick splitting you in half. “Just relax okay? You’re doing so good f’me.” His hand came down to rub over your hip, creeping down to lightly trace over your puffy clit, rubbing slow circles into the bud. You squeezed your eyes shut, wrapping your arms iver his shoulders. “Okay, i’m ready..” You whispered, readying yourself. He pressed one last reassuring kiss to your throat before he slowly pushed the rest of himself inside of you, interlacing one of his hands with yours as you winced in pain. The other one still rubbing light circles over your clit.
Seconds dragged on what felt like hours, your hips shifting as the ache slowly began to subside, you suddenly became aware of just how full you were. His dick molded into the plush walls of your tight pussy, your walls fluttering and clenching around him. It was almost overwhelming, having him stretch you out to accommodate everything he had to offer. Zuko slowly moved his hips back and forward, keeping his pace light. His eyes squeezed shut, curses falling from his lips as he relished in the pleasurable grip your pussy had on him.
You closed your eyes, feeling the ache fade away into pleasure. Your nails dug into his back, your back arching into his body. “Fuck” he huffed, his eyes half lidded as he rocked into you, the headboard creaking with every thrust of his hips. The sound of your skin slapping filled the room, the obscene squelching of your wet pussy making you bashful, closing your eyes tight as your face came alight with a rosy blush. Zuko’s eyes drank in the view of your body sprawled out for him, your neck littered in red marks and your lips kiss swollen and puffy. There wasn't a move you could make that escaped his fixation with you, his hands wandering all over your body, kneading the flesh of your ass and thighs roughly. “This pussy was made for me, baby” he grunted, his hand coming down to rub rough circles over your clit. “Z-zuko!” You gasped your toes curling from the flashes of white, hot pleasure shooting up and down your spine. “Spirits- you’re squeezing me so tight baby, fuck” he hissed burrying himself in all the way to the hilt. Your eyes rolled back, the stimulation on your clit and Zuko’s dick beating your insides was all too much. You came hard, harder than you ever could with just your fingers. Your walls clamped down, squeezing him tight as your ecstasy washed over you in violent torrents of mind numbing pleasure…
*******
The remaining days of your vacation you spent in bed. Zuko became insatiable, taking you anywhere and everywhere. And, fortunately for you— it didn’t stop at the beach house.
Back at the palace, when you weren’t wrapped up in meetings you were underneath him, taking his dick anyway he wanted to give it to you. He had learned your body inside out, absuing those spots he knew would drive you insane and eating you out like you were his last meal.
He found that his favorite way to start his day was between your thighs, eating your pussy until you were a shaking mess above him. When you expressed how you wished the mornings with him would last forever, he had a canopy with thick, maroon curtains installed in your bedroom to block out the light and disturbances of the morning. Of course, weeks into marital bliss the subject of Heirs was brought on by his royal advisors. “Not a problem” Zuko stated, squeezing your hand on the armrest of the throne. “We’ll provide an heir in due time.”
*******
“Z-zuko! Slow down!” You moaned, folded almost in half, Zuko thrusting into you, making sure to give you his all. He snickered, leaning down to press a wet kiss to your lips. “We have a duty to uphold” he grunted, sloppily slotting his hot tongue over the seam of your lips, fucking into you with vigor you’ve never felt before. The pleasure was blinding, his cockhead hitting every crevice inside of you, absuing your g-spot with sweet percison. “They want heirs? We’ll give them a fucking million of them.” And by the look in his blown pupils, you could tell he was serious. “Zuko ah! Ah!” You gasped, feeling as though the air was being punched out of your lungs with every smack of his pelvis against your ass. His hand crept down to rub rough circles over your clit, and your head fell back in a silent scream.
“Shh baby, let me take care of you, okay? It’s just us”
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zarnzarn · 4 months ago
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@irondork tags on the first post made me go heheh out loud so heres part two of the reverse odyssey au
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1/2/3/4
They set out in the morning.
Laertes and Anticles have taken over the throne until they return with the lost king, tears in their eyes as they wave the ship off, the smallest and sleekest one, fitted with twice the sails. Penelope and Telemachus keep their eyes on Ithaca until the last moment, her nails digging into his shoulder as they stand at the bow, and then she sighs and turns them to the captain's cabin with determination.
They turn into the open ocean with nothing but hope, all thirty five men that could fit in the boat rowing unrelentingly. She remembers some of them from the march out. They had left years ago as farmers and theives, come back as weatherbeaten soldiers, loyal and hardworking.
And guilty. Grieving, even, that their king gave up his life for them, thirty-five of them with either no one to go home to, or over-dedicated to the king, or filled with some odd sense of machismo, Cmietine had said, the night before they left.
Penelope knew better. They loved her husband, these men, to the bone, as had all the others who had begged and pleaded to be chosen to come. She knew better than anyone what it was like, after all, to have Odysseus look at you with his Athena-gifted eyes, to have him pull you in with a warm around your shoulders and a rakish grin as he flattered and joked and laughed. Knew better than anyone what it felt like to be caught in his wit and loyalty, to have his love and knew that helplessly, you could not help but love him in return. And for him to have fought by their side for ten years, brought almost every man home alive?
She knew the men loved Odysseus.
And she would use that well.
"Full speed ahead!" She shouts, trying to remember the confidence of her husband's orders, and keeps her eyes on the birds.
The first year, they sail until they run out of food, all the way back to Troy and then around, with one man in each direction awake at all times to search for even a glimpse of their wayward king. Penelope demands stories while they sail, of every scrap of her Odysseus from their eyes, encouraging them with what she can, making plans and strategies with Polites and Eurylochus and everyone else for when they find him.
They treat her with respect, to her surprise, never favouring another's order over hers or hesitantly explaining the reasons why they couldn't instead of dismissing her outright, that she wryly thinks must be at least partly borne of fear.
"I mean no offense, my lady," one of them says one day, rowing hard as he talks, after she says this. "But he really never shut up about you, ever. He once spent an entire evening after battle yelling at us how you would have done better."
She laughs at the thought, cheeks hot, even as the other sailors yell about disrespect and conduct before the queen and throw various things at the young man's yelping face.
Telemachus grows well on the ship. He finds it as easy to adapt as both his parents, and is beloved by the sailors as their own as he learns to handle ropes and oars and sails.
He does not understand the curse, does not understand why the adults around him weep so much, only knows that his father now swims in the waters and needs to be brought home.
Perhaps that is why he is the one to glimpse the scales in the water on the day they run out of food, despite Penelope's strictest rationing, when they all gather on the deck to hang their heads before one last speech, as the order is finally given to turn the ship back around home.
"Hello!" He shouts, waving wildly. "I'm Telemachus! Your son!"
His father blinks at him with five eyes- greyer than his, but still grey like his own- then smiles widely, waving back.
Telemachus hears gasps and cries and his mother's shout, but doesn't really wanna turn- he's finally seeing his father! After so long! Which means they can finally go home!
Penelope nearly trips them both overboard with how hard she rushes into him, one hand to her mouth as she sees Odysseus at last, at last. He looks gaunt, tail no longer silver but bright with dappled orange and red and yellow, dark brown like his hair, and they watch his expression wobble and tears leak onto his wet face as all thirty five of them clamber to the side of the ship, trembling with emotion as they shout greetings at him.
"Odysseus!" Penelope screams, laughing with joy as she gathers her chlamys up and steps onto the edge of the ship, ignoring the panicked rush of men trying to grab at her and the begging for Telemachus to stop trying to follow her bad examples. "Come here, you great idiot- where have you been?"
He swims closer almost hesitantly, diving under a wave and then reappearing next to the boat. He looks- shy, of all things, something like raw fear crossing his face as he flicks his tail and comes closer, even as the men run to get the nets, the ropes, the tub. Penelope laughs and reaches over the bow of the ship to strain downwards, arm outstretched to her husband, tears streaming down her face as he catches the next wave enough to meet the tips of her fingers.
And then Eurylochus next to her bellows, "NO!"
They all nearly jump out of their skin, and Penelope turns to look at her brother-in-law running across the deck to where one sailor is undoing the rope wound around a dirty rucksack, bag falling from his hand in shock.
Odysseus' fingers barely touch her own as the wave passes by, and then the winds of Aeolus still trapped in the bag burst out in a furious maelstrom, carrying their ship away in one direction, pushing the ocean waters in a forceful blow in the opposite, leaving Penelope screaming her husband's name in desperation as they're pulled apart once more.
Odysseus' answering scream of horror carries on the wind back to them, and then nothing at all.
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chaoticbardlady99 · 4 months ago
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Nobody's Fool Part 3 (Astarion x GN! Reader)
Synopsis: Astarion reflects on his plan and progress thus far. You and Karlach accidentally eat the wrong kind of mushrooms.
Content Warning: Dead Dove (Astarion), accidental drug use (btw, Mushrooms had a very emotional effect on me so that is my current frame of reference)
Part 2 : Part 4 : Master list
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 Here’s the thing. 
  Astarion and Shadowheart had sex, but there was absolutely no chemistry between them. It was awkward in a weird way and they both just kinda ended up… lying there. They blamed it on the alcohol initially, but his brain wandered to you that night and how stupid he was to veer from his initial plan. Shadowheart had no loyalty to him, but you followed him around like an adorable pup.
 You are way too good and of course you would give him another chance. Certainly you can still go “walk along the beach” or whatever the hells you had asked. Astarion would give you a night you would never forget and you would forget about his rejection entirely.
 He figured he would use your little crush to get what he wanted- insured safety. Astarion would provide you with good sex and honeyed words for the duration of the journey and it would all be “peaches and crème” as Gale has said in the recent past. 
  Shadowheart and Astarion agreed that they could not attempt that with each other again and agreed to become temporary allies. She keeps Karlach away from you so Astarion can get back in your good graces and Shadowheart can eventually get into Karlach‘s bedroll. Only, how would he convince you that he actually cares for you when he still didn’t at all?
 Shadowheart obviously didn’t know he didn’t care, but he was a convincing enough liar that the queen of “deception” didn’t even notice his emotional fib. 
 So their next solution was to tell a big, fat white lie. 
 “He said their name during sex!” Shadowheart scoffed as Astarion eavesdropped nearby, “I am broken up about it- devastated.” 
 And how well did that fucking go?
 Piss. Fucking. Poor.
 Astarion and Shadowheart found themselves at a loss. You were still exceptionally distant and wouldn’t engage in a conversation at all and Karlach was too busy spending time with you. Fort Tavlach was becoming a very big annoyance to both of them. 
 So they proceeded to do what they had wanted you both to do. Shadowheart has had a bit easier of a time considering Karlach is more forgiving, outgoing, and confident. However, Astarion is unsure of where he stands with you. 
 At first it made him panic because he had had a plan. Astarion needs you on his side for safety reasons. 
 Why couldn’t you be like everyone else and just… not respect him? This is not how this is supposed to work. You are supposed to ignore his boundaries- insist he be with you. 
 Suddenly, he found himself beginning to genuinely miss your company at night. He wished he had invested a bit more time in your conversations together and the less he got to know you the more he wanted to know. 
 There were snippets here and there- any piece of information anyone seemed to have or whatever you were willing to give him. 
 He pushed the unwelcome warm thoughts away and refocused on his plan. Astarion knows he is going to have to really really work to get back in your good graces so he bought that damn necklace at full price (definitely not because he was actually concerned because that would be nonsense and this is all part of his very well thought out plan). 
 You looked so happy and he became caught up in the conversation with you. You were being less guarded like you had before. Astarion became very aware of how beautiful your eyes are and how expressive they are. Hells, he really noticed how beautiful you are and it hit him like you did the night before when he scared you. He honestly didn’t think you were capable of punching anyone in the stomach that hard and you felt so bad, but he was mostly turned on. Exceptionally impressed too. 
 Your laughter washed over him in waves and he truly felt calm for the first time in the last 200 years. He is safe with you without having to give you every piece of him right away. You have never wavered in your loyalty and support to him- merely just drew back to respect his space and to try to move on. 
 Astarion began hanging out with you every chance he could find- continuously convincing himself that this is all a part of his grand masterfully crafted  
 His trance had gripped him and he felt like he was back in Cazador’s palace. It was the night his scars were carved into his back. Astarion could still feel every single moment of Cazador branding him. 
 He was so grateful you let him spend time with you and that you didn’t kick him out. Astarion listened to your pulse the entire night until he was lulled into a trance- a much more peaceful and happy one. It had been one of the first days you were all traveling together and you fought all those disgusting Gnolls together. 
 You were so beautiful that day- covered in blood and adrenaline in your eyes. You were so protective of all of them and you had checked on each of them a million times. He only woke up again because the end of that memory was you passing out from a wound you hadn’t realized you had. It jolted him awake.
 He has spent every night since in your tent- he is too afraid to bring you to his because it’s not the cleanest and it feels like his very private space. Astarion wants to wait for whatever reason. 
 You have never pestered, asked, or forced your way in while he has pushed himself upon you. Astarion had tried to stay in his tent one night after a hunt and he ended up in your tent anyway. 
 You had been too warm and struggling to sleep. He quickly amended that issue. He hasn’t stayed away since. 
 Except for right now while you are busy. Astarion is trying to read this stupid, probably evil, powerful book and it won’t let him. 
  The thoughts are insane and wild- the spells on the pages and the dark magic calls out to him like a harpy’s song. One of the spells rings louder than the others- playing on his jealousy and new found relationships with promises of a powerful new spell that will dampen his hunger.
 He would if it wouldn’t upset you so much and this book is very convincing. It’s terrible, but he does not want to upset you. He rather likes being by your side lately and most importantly- he has a plan to tend to. 
“No… I won’t kill them!”
 Astarion pauses for a moment- the book coaxing a name out of him anyway.
“Well, maybe Wyll.”
 He has felt bitter towards the Warlock since you walked back into camp with him and then when you began talking to Wyll more than Astarion.
 No- it was not fair. He fucked up.
 It didn’t make him any less bitter though.
“Well if I have a say,” your melodic voice flows through his ears, “could you kill someone, I don’t know, maybe a little less useful?”
 Astarion slams the Necromancy of Thay with a start. He wasn’t expecting you to be back for a while- you had been talking to Wyll after you washed off and Astarion had opened a book about Necromancy to take his mind off of what it would be like to join you- A. At the river and B. Interjecting himself into the conversation. 
 It’s probably a good thing you came over when you did, but now his jealousy has decided to rear it’s ugly head. 
“How useful can he be when he won’t seem to stop talking to you every chance he gets?” He scowls, “hardly the quality of work I would expect from the mighty ‘Blade of Frontiers’!”
“A-“
“You know,” he interrupts, far too heated to notice your confused expression, “Wyll’s the sort of prince type I would have once dreamed of marrying. When I was about thirteen.”
 He realizes his tone is sharp and angry. Astarion also realizes this may not be fair, but his impulsivity seems to be outweighing better judgment. 
He crosses his arm, trying to avoid eye contact without making it too obvious (he actually manages to succeed somehow by staring just past your face).
“So will you be dedicating yourself entirely then to your new, true love? Should I be returning to my tent to-“
“Will you shut your blood hole for a minute and let me speak?” 
 Astarion is snapped back to reality and your eyebrows are furrowed- face screwed up as you search his features and he feels exceptionally vulnerable. Are you deciding if he is even worth spending time with? Maybe you are regretting letting him get close to you again.
 The idea makes his stomach turn. He really screwed up this time. Now he’s going to have to watch you with Wyll and probably hear the act of him ‘burying his blade’.
 Your features have softened significantly- whatever you found in Astarion’s features had been what you needed apparently. Again, he feels naked, vulnerable.
 Like being chained and forced to let Cazador carve into his back. Only, he doesn’t know what his punishment will be for speaking out of turn this time.
 Nothing, he thinks, because they would never do that to me. 
“Where is this coming from?” You ask slowly, “Wyll and I have always talked and it’s never bothered you before.”
 Astarion feels… frozen. He can’t tell you why it bothers him now. Well, he could and it would go along exceptionally well with his plan to reel you back in, but that would be crossing the threshold into reality. The feelings would be too real for that kind of connection and it could be what leaves him open to be blindsided or seriously hurt. 
 “I-I suppose I am just making sure I sleep in the right place tonight,” he chuckles awkwardly, “I would hate to stumble across you and Wyll ‘burying his blade’ if you catch my meaning.
“And I do mean sex, to be clear.” 
 You sigh heavily with a chuckle and an adorable roll of your eyes. He knows you can see right through him. You are exceptionally good at that and he doesn’t care for it a whole lot. 
 To his own surprise, you hug him and it’s probably the most gentle touch he has ever received from another in the last 200 years. 
 At first he is reluctant, but when you go to pull away, he unfreezes and returns it. 
 You smell like fresh laundry and a lovely spring evening. It feels right to have you this close to him and in such an intimate capacity. Astarion has to really keep himself from whining like a child when you pull away and begin your journey to your tent for the night.
 “I can assure you that if anyone is going to share my tent with me, I would choose you over everyone everywhere, anytime,” you say promptly, turning around and calling over your shoulder, “so if you are feeling up to it, you are welcome to join me in my tent for our usual chatting sessions and a cuddle. Otherwise, I will be sleeping alone.” 
 And there you go- leaving him absolutely speechless in your wake. You are much much sassier and sure of yourself than he remembers to give you credit for sometimes. He is trying to ignore the giddiness that lights up his nervous system at your words. 
 He used to thrive off of you being his little pup- following him around and waiting for his direction. Now he’s the hopeless fool in the situation and is quickly on your heels- following you to your tent. 
 You turn and seem surprised that he is there before you flash one of your brilliant smiles. 
 Speechless- you leave him speechless. Astarion wants to kiss you and he wants to ask.
 Yet, he can’t get himself to. He doesn’t want your companionship to turn into a sexual connection just yet- maybe before, but he actually has come to really enjoy your company. In spite of his better judgment and his plan, he does not want to jeopardize every last bit of hard work he put into fixing your relationship. 
 So instead you both sit and talk. Astarion finds himself asking you more questions than he had previously and he is filled with thousands of them. 
“I am excited to get out of the Underdark,” you yawn and stretch, “I miss the sun and the moon. Oh and not accidentally walking into some kind of spore that makes me laugh until I wish to keel over and die.” 
 Astarion grimaces in agreement. He had been the unfortunate victim of those stupid things today and he is very lucky he doesn’t need air. You were very very worried, but he gestured for you to stay back- the last thing anyone needed was for you to pass out. None of them would be organized without you and they would probably all fight over who gets to bring you back or who leads everyone back home. It sounded like too much effort and mental exhaustion for his liking. 
 “I really don’t care for it down here,” he sighs, “I want to enjoy my time in the sun for as long as I can and the lack of Minotaurs is a bonus.”
 You shudder, “those things are absolutely terrifying. I am glad we have been able to avoid them for the most part, but I don’t want to have to fight them head on.” 
 “Don’t worry, Darling, I am sure you can outwit them anyday. They are lucky they have been able to avoid you if I am being entirely honest.”
 Your grin is wonderful and you blush. Astarion can hear your heart kickstart and you are definitely smitten with him. His plan is working- he should be thrilled. He should make his move. 
 You may have become more important to him than a stupid plan and he isn’t happy about it (maybe he is a little). 
 You fall asleep shortly- your head is on his chest and his hand plays aimlessly with your hair. Astarion has noticed that this act helps you fall asleep and it also seems to help lull him into a trance too. 
  Sometimes memories blend together in a negative way. Other times, his trances, like his current one, is imagery of you both destroying Cazador and traveling together in the aftermath. 
 These trances may be his favorite guilty pleasure. Both of you are safe, happy, and definitely enamored with one another for eternity. 
**************************************************************
  You and Karlach keep staring at each other from across the fire, but it’s because you both made a truly terrible mistake. 
 You had both been searching for something to use for kindling and you were both giddily talking about your respective crushes. You have both considered that they may be using you to make each other jealous, but the more they compare notes, the less and less it appears to be the case. 
 It was supposed to be a harmless snack- Karlach insisted that the mushrooms were the “safe and non- magic” kind and that they were ‘delicious’.
 You both feel positively fucking insane. You barely made it back to camp and even then, Astarion walked up to you, said something, and you could only focus on how he kept changing color. Oh and he was speaking in a language you are certain isn’t real either. 
 You feel like you are underwater but your mind could not be more clear. Your eyes hurt from how bright everything is, but you feel like you are finally seeing the world. 
 This really, really needs to end soon. 
“What is with you two?!” Gale asks in exasperation, “it is not dinner time yet! Quit trying to bully me into feeding you. You lot are worse than Tara!”
 However- it sounds like botched common and neither one of you can understand a word he is saying. 
 The silly magic man says silly silly words.
 You giggle like a mad man at Karlach’s telepathic message. She begins to giggle too and Gale’s worry comes off of him in great waves.
 Literally- you are watching it ripple from his body.
 Gale says something again and you both begin laughing harder.
“Silly- silly magic man says silly words,” Karlach wipes away her tears, “what is his name again?”
 What… is his name again? It’s something silly right? 
 “GALE!” You scream, “LIKE THE WIND A MIGHTY EAGLE SOARS ON!”
 You gasp, looking at Gale before looking to Karlach, “HIS NAME IS ALSO A SPELL AND HE IS A WIZARD!!!!!” 
 You and Karlach are crying with laughter 
 You don’t remember standing on the log nor do you remember falling, but you feel Astarion’s delicate fingers on your hips and you bite your bottom lip so hard it bleeds. 
 His touch feels electric. You feel like you are really physically melting.
“Darling?” 
 Swimming, swimming, swimming, and yet he is clear as day. You blink up at him adoringly- awaiting his next words with a baited breath. 
Your mushroom addled mind is certain he is looking at you with equal amounts of adoration, but also a lot of concern. 
 Other people join and eventually you are being dragged to your tent- both you and Karlach screaming your “SEE YA LATER!”s as Shadowheart drags her off. 
 You lazily allow Astarion to guide you to your tent and when you collapse onto your bed roll- he quickly follows. You lay on your back and stare at the ceiling- lost in your silly little thoughts while he is looking at you like you have lost your mind. 
 You want to tell him what you are thinking, but instead, you become sad. Astarion is so beautiful in all the ways and you really wish he felt the way you feel about him. You would take him seashell hunting on every beach that exists. He would never know how it felt to be used or disrespected again and you would willingly be with him. In spite of all the baggage and emotional trauma- the things that “scared Shadowheart off” according to Karlach, you would choose him every time. 
 Technically, you already do. You may not be who he wants and one day you will watch him walk away from you forever, but at least he will know how he should be treated. 
 It doesn’t prevent your wistful and hopeless thinking any less. Your chest feels heavy and you feel burdened with your emotions. They hurt.
 You could fall asleep together every night and share goodnight kisses if you were together. You could talk while being entangled in each other’s embrace, bath together because you really love the idea of spoiling him in that way. 
 Hells, you could even envision yourself having sex with him (and you have envisioned it, but you ignore that). 
 You desire to connect with him on every level, but he will never want that with you and it becomes very hard for you to breathe or speak all of a sudden. 
“Darling?” His voice is soft, comforting, and heartbreaking in the same breath, “what’s wrong?” 
 You look back up at the ceiling and just imagine Selune reminding you that there will be others- trying to think of literally anything else. What happened to your happy mood? Why are you having emotional whiplash? 
 Cool fingers wipe away your tears and a whimper leaves your lips before you begin to cry even harder. 
 Why doesn’t he love you? Why can’t the one person you have fallen in love with love you back? It’s not his fault, but Gods it’s not fair that you will watch him be with other people for as long as you live and doomed to die without him, always wishing you could have at least walked on that damn beach together. At least then you would have that memory to hang on to. 
  You feel him hold you- the electricity rippling through you and you can hear him trying to ask you what is wrong. 
 Your head is spinning- you are so confused and emotionally not feeling well, but now you are beginning to feel better. Co-regulation or something like that. It’s common practice in Selunite Culture- it’s meant to help their youngest members get through uncomfortable emotions. You always loved the concept, but you never experienced it yourself until that one night with Wyll. You never anticipated Astarion being here for you like this. 
  His fingers running through your hair pulls you out of your despair and into a happier mood. Your tears begin to fade to mere sniffles and you swear you feel a soft pair of lips press a kiss to your forehead.
 “That’s it, Darling. Come back to me and out of your spiraling.” 
 You giggle, “spiralinggggggg is my specialty. Have you ever tried to watch Shadowheart read a map? No wonder she got kidnapped. If she had to keep me from spiralingggg I fear I would be lost forever.”
 Astarion pauses for a second out of shock alone before he begins to laugh along with you. The sound makes your heart feel so full. How wonderful it is to make someone else happy after they have been so miserable for so long. 
“I am guessing the ‘magic’ of the Underdark has consumed your mind?” 
 You nod enthusiastically and with a big yawn- your sadness was excruciatingly intense. You feel like you could nap for an eternity. 
 “Karlach thought they were the yummy kind, not the funny kind.” 
 He snorts and you swear you feel another kiss being placed on the side of your temple. You hum happily and curl up against him when he lays you both down. 
“I think this is my favorite place to be,” you say absentmindedly, no longer in a state of mind to be aware of your words.
“Your tent?” His voice is laced with confusion. 
 You laugh, in spite of yourself, “no! Laying here with you, silly.” 
 The quietness in the tent would bother you if you weren’t in la la land. 
“I- I think this may be my favorite place to be too.”
“In my tent?” You mimic.
 You can feel him roll his eyes, “very funny, Darling.
“I meant… laying here with you.” 
 Astarion’s voice is so coy and quiet. You prop yourself up and peer at his face. He looks conflicted and unsure about something. 
“What is it? Did I say something wrong?”
“Not at all,” he says with a smile, “in fact, you say all the right things the majority of the time.”
“Why thank you!” You beam, “I may not be a very wise cleric, but I am certainly a charismatic one!” 
“Hmm I would argue against your statement, but you are currently experiencing magic mushrooms and aren’t clerics supposed to know things like that?”
“I am good at the magic piece,” you grumble, “not so much the herbology shit or whatever. Too much to remember and now my HEAD HURTS TRYING TO REMEMBER!”
 Astarion laughs and shakes his head- you are far goofier than anyone else he has ever met and of course you would say that about herbology. You look like you want to commit a war crime anytime Gale begins talking about Alchemy. 
 “I am so sorry that I have caused you so much distress, Darling,” he says dramatically, “whatever can I do to make it up to you?”
 Your brain hits serious mode and you look at him with the most serious expression you can think of.
“Write to me sometimes when this journey ends?” Your voice strains, “don’t forget about me? Please? Or at least don’t forget about me until I’m long gone in the physical sense?”
 You chuckle awkwardly, but your tears betray you. Astarion is quick to wipe away your tears and he grabs your hand on his chest- kissing your knuckle.
“My Dear,” he says softly, “I have no intentions of forgetting about you and well, the details of after our little adventure can be discussed when you are a bit more clear minded. I don’t want you to suggest we go and ‘explore’ the Cloakwood or something insane like that.”
  You understand what he is saying, but you also don’t so you just grin and scoff.
“I would not say we should travel to the- okay, wait. That may actually be a good idea because all of the people getting trapped there by fey-“
 Astarion interrupts you with a finger on your lips and an unamused expression that makes you giggle.
“You are an insufferable hero and while I adore you for it- I must save you from yourself. No visiting the Cloakwoods.”
“Fineeeeeeeeeeeeee,” you lay your head back against his chest, smiling and the urge to sleep filling your body, “I will win eventually.”
 He snorts in response.
“We will see about that, Darling.”
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mariclerc · 7 months ago
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Can you do a fic where the reader works for Ferrari and has been friends with Charles for a long time, and recently Charles and the reader have a friends with benefits thing going on, but the reader is actually in love with him. Then when Lewis moves to Ferrari, he takes an interest in the reader, the reader decides to give him a shot and stops the situationship with Charles and he realises he doesn't want to let her go.
thank you for this request, this was a little bit hard to make because i was looking at how to develop the story but I really liked how it came out, I hope you like it!
Confusions at work | cl16 & lh44
Summary: when you have feelings for your situationship but a new person gets in the middle of it. Warnings: a little angst, confused reader, and fluff at the end.
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The garage bustles with mechanics working on the gleaming red cars. You lean over the table to see the monitor with the different strategies for the first practice session of the day. Charles walks towards you, a playful glint in his eyes.
“Looking stunning with that frowned face y/n... As always.”
You roll your eyes playfully, a smile tugging at your lips. You have known Charles since his great season in Formula 2 back in 2017, by then you were already working as an internal race engineer in the Haas team, you were practically like Sheldon from the big bang theory - a brainiac. Upon meeting Charles there was an instant connection, it was as if you had always known each other, eventually, you were promoted from Haas to Ferrari in 2019, just the same year that Charles was promoted to the red team too, and ever since then the easy camaraderie between you has turned into something more... A secret, friends-with-benefits situation that both sets your heart ablaze and tears it in two.
“Yeah, yeah, save it for the cameras, Perceval. You know perfectly well I can take you down with a bad strategy any day.” you chuckled.
Charles feigns offense, but his laughter betrays him. You share a comfortable silence, a familiarity that speaks volumes. The moment is shattered by the arrival of Lewis Hamilton, the new star driver at Ferrari. Arriving at that first meeting at Maranello his gaze settles on you, a flicker of interest igniting in his eyes. Fred had offered you a change of position with Adami to be Lewis' race engineer, but the comfort and confidence you already had working with Charles made you decline the offer, likewise, working with a seven-time world champion is a privilege, since you can learn a lot from him, but you and Charles had practically grown up together at Ferrari and out of loyalty to him you stayed with him.
-
The following weeks are a whirlwind. Lewis tries to get close to you, and as a result, you end up having some dates and night-outs with him. He is charismatic, attentive, you dare to say that he's a bit similar to Charles in so many ways since both of them treat you with such care and kindness. You find yourself drawn to his confidence and outgoing demeanor, a stark contrast to Charles' usual genuine and soft care towards you. Guilt gnaws at you, but the thrill of something new is intoxicating... And with a little sadness in your heart, you decide to end things with Charles... At least for a little while you try to understand what your heart wants.
One night you went to Charles' apartment, and you entered with the extra key that he had given you a long time ago. Charles' apartment is quiet, a stark contrast to the usual post-race buzz. You stand awkwardly in the living room, avoiding his gaze.
You gulped. “Charles... I think we need to talk.”
He looks up, a frown creasing his forehead. The air crackles with unspoken emotions. “Y/n what's wrong sweetie? Did I do something wrong?”
You take a deep breath. “It's about this.” you sigh. “This thing between us... It can go anymore.”
Silence hangs heavy in the air, Charles' frown deepens, his eyes searching yours. “Is it Lewis? Is this about him?” he asked.
The truth hangs on your tongue, a bitter pill to swallow. “Maybe, maybe not... The point is, things need to change... We need to take a break... At least for a little while.”
Charles stands abruptly, his frustration palpable. “Just like that? We throw away everything because of... what? Because some shiny new toy showed up?” His words sting, but there's a flicker of something else in his eyes - a vulnerability you haven't seen before.
“It's not that simple, Charles. You know it's... Complicated.”
Tears well up in your eyes, this isn't how you imagined this conversation going. You practically run out of Charles' apartment, frustrated because you don't know if you did the right thing and at the same time you don't know if being with Lewis is the same as being with Charles... Because at the end of the day, he somehow manages to see through you and understand you on a level that Lewis cannot.
-
Days turn into weeks, you and Charles avoid each other. The only words that come out of your mouth are simply a "hello" and a "see you later", occasionally long sentences when you're giving him directions during the race or at the team debrief, the air is thick with unspoken tension. The joy has gone out of working at Ferrari... You see the way Lewis looks at you, but a hollow ache fills your chest. At night you constantly think about what you would be doing with Charles at that exact moment, perhaps cuddling up watching a movie, or a normal date at his house eating pizza, wearing matching socks and playing Mario kart... And even though Lewis takes you to glamorous galas, lavish dinners and so on, you don't complain about it, on the contrary, you're grateful for it, but, there's nothing like that instant connection with Charles.
One afternoon, Charles corners you near his car. His eyes are stormy, a mix of anger and something else you can't decipher.
You hear him sigh. “I miss you y/n... Like hell.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You miss him too, the easy banter, the way he understood you without words, the way his eyes spark every single time he was next to you.
“Charles... I...” you say shyly but he cuts you off, his voice rough.
“Don't... Don't tell me you miss Lewis...because if you do, I'll understand. But at least know this – this thing we have, it's real, at least for me. It's more than just crazy strategies and stolen kisses after victories. Maybe I haven't said it, haven't shown it the way you deserve, but I care about you, y/n... A lot.”
His confession hangs in the air, raw and vulnerable, you've never seen him that way. You can see the years of unspoken feelings bubbling to the surface. Tears prick your eyes, blurring the image of Charles in front of you.
A million things fight for dominance in your mind: the thrill of the new with Lewis, the comfortable companionship with Charles, the undeniable spark you share with him.
Taking a shaky breath, you meet his gaze.
”Charles, I... I don't know what I want... I mean, Lewis is exciting, a new challenge. But with you... it's different, it's easy, familiar, it's warm. But it's also... frustrating you know? You never give anything away, never let anyone in all the way.”
A flicker of pain crosses Charles' features. He reaches out, hesitantly placing a hand on your arm. “I'm scared y/n... Scared of losing you, scared of letting myself feel something this real. But if you're willing to take a chance, maybe, just maybe, we can figure this out together.” he says softly.
The silence stretches, thick with unspoken emotions. You look into Charles' eyes, searching for a glimpse of the future you both could have. The weight of the decision settles on your shoulders. You glance around the garage, the familiar red of the Ferraris a stark contrast to the turmoil within you. Lewis' confident smile flashes in your mind, but it's quickly replaced by the image of Charles' vulnerability, a side you've never seen before.
Taking a deep breath, you meet Charles' gaze, a flicker of determination replacing your earlier uncertainty.
“Okay Charles, let's figure this out... Together.” you say softly.
A slow smile spreads across Charles' face, relief washing over him. He pulls you into a tight embrace, the scent of his familiar cologne grounding you, it feels like coming home.
“Thank you, y/n. Thank you for taking a chance on us.” he whispers in your ear.
You pull back slightly, a playful glint returning to your eyes. “Just don't expect me to lose in the strategy game anytime soon, Leclerc... This isn't over yet.”
Charles throws his head back and laughs, the tension finally breaking. He ruffles your hair affectionately.
“I wouldn't have it any other way amour... Wouldn't have it any other way.” he smiles. (love)
-
The garage and the pit wall is mostly deserted, the day's work winding down. You're packing up some of your things when Lewis approaches, a determined look in his eyes.
“Hey, y/n! Can I talk to you?” he asked with a friendly smile on his face.
You hesitate, then nod, gesturing towards a quiet corner. Lewis leans against a wall, his voice gets a little serious.
“I saw you and Charles... And I get it now, there's something there, a history I can't compete with.” There's a hint of disappointment in his voice, but mostly understanding.
“Lewis, I... I'm really sorry. Things just moved too fast too soon, and I realized what I was risking.” you say softly but Lewis offers a shy smile.
“No need to apologize, but follow your heart, y/n! That's all any of us can do... Besides, maybe next time on the track, I can finally knock your team off that top spot in the strategy battle.”
A genuine smile graces your lips. “Don't count on it, Hamilton. But hey, maybe we can grab a coffee sometime and hash out some friendly competition strategies. No promises on who'll win, though.”
Lewis chuckles, the tension dissipating. He extends his hand for a handshake. “Deal! And good luck with Charles. He's a lucky guy!”
You shake his hand, a newfound sense of clarity settling within you, he gives you a warm smile and a friendly hug. As Lewis walks away, you glance towards Charles, who's watching the exchange with a hint of possessiveness in his eyes. You catch his gaze and he winks at you, a silent promise hanging between you.
He walks towards you with a little smile on his face and takes you in his arms.
“So... How about we get out of here? I could use a real shower you know?” you say and Charles' smile widens, genuine relief washing over his features.
“Sounds like a plan. My place, or yours?” he asks softly.
The air hangs heavy with unspoken possibilities. You know this is a turning point in your relationship, a chance to rebuild something stronger.
“Your place only if you promise to make that killer pasta dish you always brag about.” you say teasingly.
Charles lets out a mock groan, but there's a twinkle in his eye. “Fine, fine. But you have to help me chop the vegetables! No bystanders in my kitchen, okay?” You laugh, the tension finally breaking. As you finally grab all of your things, Charles slings his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “Come on, sweetcheeks. Let's get out of here before someone challenges me to another mario kart race.” he smiles softly. “You know I can't resist a good challenge, especially when you're involved.”
You nudge him playfully, a warm feeling blossoming in your chest.
”Oh, I'm sure you can handle it, Leclerc. But just you wait, next time I'm schooling you.”
Together you walk out of the garage, the setting sun casting an orange glow across the racetrack. The future is uncertain, but with a newfound commitment to each other, you're ready to face it head-on. You and Charles head towards his car, the promise of a home-cooked meal and a chance to reconnect hanging heavy in the air.
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