#i think it's been a long time since i drew anything lmfao

[wrongcaitlyn]

25, 26, and 28 for tyt/dear reader for the ask game please! 🫶 Personally, for 26 my favorite detail was probably how you’ve integrated social media into the fic. Reading and imagining each of Lou Ellen’s videos as well as seeing everyone freak out in the comments just like we do just makes me smile, lol. Though I can’t say that I’m not jealous of them for being able to experience all of that and have it be with real people 😭

25. Share your favorite line

this is SOO HARD OHMYGOD. okay so i really really really like some of the tweets that i've made, and also the text messages... but it *has* been a while since i've looked over talk your talk, so the most recent thing in my mind is:

"They’ll be the biggest stars in the world.” He pauses, then adds, “Aside from myself, of course.” “You peaked in 1998,” Meg comments dryly. “Okay. I’ll relay that to Drew. Anything else?” “It was actually 2002,” Apollo mutters under his breath.

apollo and meg only truly have two conversations and they're already my favoriteSLKJDF

26. Share your favorite detail

ALSO SO HARD AHGDSFH but thank you so much for sharing yours!! i'm so glad that y'all like the social media bits bc they're some of my favorite (to re-read, not to write because the users get very frustrating at times) 😭😭 (and i too am jealous of the people in the tyt universekljd)

i think i have to say my favorite detail might be apollo's memoir. idk if it counts as a detail, but i just love all of his lore... and i realize that for a solangelo centric fic, a bunch of my answers have just been apollo LMFAO

i love solangelo so much but the memoir excerpts are my favorite favorite bits to write!! and i've been meaning to share his backstory for sooo long so it's so cool to be able to write it in a different way that feels more authentic to the character

28. Write a new summary for the fic, but badly

ah shit. i already suck at making normal summaries, and i cheat at those by just putting an excerpt and then adding like what kinda au it is, BUT - lets do this for talk your talk

traumatized kid gets adopted by extroverts and is skyrocketed to fame by a depressed still-in-love-with-his-ex bisexual, all the while falling in love with his best friend and running away from his past

[oodlyenough]

alright I'm finally playing turnabout succession and despite how many big reveals i'd already been spoiled for the case is still surprising me in parts and clearly going to be quite long so i thought i'd put some thoughts together now

I'm not-quite-finished the MASON system chapter so no spoilers plz

some general notes:

I knew Vera Misham existed but not really anything about her or her father so that whole first trial was fun

I can't believe the glass hand statue I've seen in fanart a million times is the world's least ergonomic nail polish bottle ?!?!? lmfaoo ... nothing like the feeling of sharp crystal fingertips digging into your palms while you apply a... clear topcoat ... okay

Ema popping up in court with a Kristoph impression just to fuck with Klavier is the funniest thing in the world I love her so much. #1 hater

extremely generous of the judicial system to let disbarred lawyer phoenix wright design and run the new thing lmfaoooo

god willing they'll give me a chance to say 'i've spent the last seven years building up an immunity to atroquinine'

troupe gramarye is fucked up man LMAO i mean i kind-of guessed but i didn't anticipate the levels of it and i think we've only scratched the surface so far

i knew the names 'zak gramarye' and 'shadi enigmar' from fandom and never in a million years would i have guessed which was the magician stage name and which was his birth certificate name

i'm not sure what i'm meant to be thinking of zak so far. they alternate a bit between him seeming to be at least something of a concerned father, popping back up to will stuff to trucy and wearing her locket etc ...and him being physically violent, abandoning her in the first place and scheming to ruin phoenix's life a second time for no reason. I was pretty sure the victim from 4-1 was trucy's dad, and at the time I wondered if his plan was to undermine Phoenix in order to take custody of Trucy again, but so far it seems like he was just ... being a dick? lmao. I dunno; case isn't over so presumably more of that will come to light

still a big fan of valant, he cracks me up idc if he shot that old man. the game is telling me there was friction bc he was in love with thalassa but it's too little too late when i've already decided he has a weird gay thing with zak and also canonically he is capable of impeccable thalassa drag, so

drew misham being like "i left my reclusive 12 year old alone with a strange adult to discuss crime. it's ok though bc she felt an immediate affinity for a man she describes as the devil and agrees to keep secrets for" sir what the fuck do you mean !!!!! rest in pieces honestly

actually when we hit the bit about 'well vera doesn't like many people but she liked him', i was like "she liked KRISTOPH???" and @nowwheresmynut was like "maybe it was one of the gramaryes since she's a stan" and i was like "oh that makes sense". but it doesn't. it was kristoph. Lmfao. child whisperer

the MASON system is so ??? lmao... why does my inventory carry over from past to present lmaooo. phoenix invented time travel (real) (not clickbait)

I was going to write a whole thing about the disbarment trial and the investigation portion but this post is already enormous so it might be its own thing. I have deeper thoughts about that stuff from like a... broader game/storytelling pov. I will say I knew there was a flashback trial but I did NOT know you got so many investigation portions as Phoenix what a nice surprise 😭😭😭 I miss him

[ritzcuit]

since you cant find any ask prompts i'll just ask you a random question. what drew you to Datz as a character specifically? i love him a lot but i'm always curious to know what people vibe with when it comes to their favorite characters

AW hearts... thank you:3

its been a long time since i first met him so ill try to remember.. ik an ace attorney rp group i was in, the few ppl there who had played soj were talking about Gay Datz, so when i wanted to pick up a new muse i was like "that datz dude seemed silly (and we already had a dhurke) so ill just go watch soj for him:3" and then the horrors started

obviously he's an extremely likeable character but he was like the perfect storm of tropes i already liked + tropes i didnt even know i liked yet... him being the funny comedic relief is endearing but it's all the underlying Coolness of him that i just became obsessed with. and the loyalty. the loyalty i think altered my mind permanently. "right hand man" is like a trigger phrase for me being obsessed with a character now LMFAOOO HE BROKE MEEEE. i didnt even know i cared abt loyal guys before him!!! before datz i just cared abt delinquents and criminals

but god he's just so COOL ISNT HE!! his big ass kukri and the confident smug uncle way he peels apples... it really makes me nostalgic for the kind of guys i idolized when i was younger (and still do lmfao) i know he's in nepal-ish-area but he'd be 100% at home with my appalachian family.. the kind of guy who has infinite stories about anything and Probably half of them are made up but he's your uncle so you're gonna listen... bc he's the coolest ever.

PLUS if you put any thought into datz at all, like, the fact that he's made to be the way the player learns about dhurke's (and the kids) past, its like ... Ok but how do YOU know what their childhood was like huh?! and immediately you get this idea that datz is like, a seriously loyal guy who cares not just abt The Cause, but this whole little family dhurke has... that + the way datz solemnly and seriously mourns tahrust drives me CRAZY !!! LOOK AT HIM WITH HIS GENUINE FEELINGS!!!! AND HIS DEPTH!!!ARGH!!! IM GOING TO EAT A TABLE!!!!

and the more i talked abt him with my equally obsessed friends and fleshed out what kind of a Guy he must be, like.. piecing together "ok well if he helped look for apollo's mother after the fire, when dhurke was being accused of Literal Treason, then he must already have been close friends with dhurke or otherwise trust him for some reason...moreover dhurke must have trusted him at least a little..." it paints him as such a capable and loyal guy....Bro he devoted half of his life on this world to dhurke and his cause... his exmilitary history and outdoorsy guy tendencies helping dhurke live on the outskirts of khura'in.....

(trembling)and inthe concept art creator comments in the soj artbook it makes a mention of how datz being the moodmaker of the revolution is what kept it going for so long HELPPPP DATZ!!! DAAAAAATZ!!! ok this isnt even from the game anymore LMAO

short answer is i think he was concocted in a lab to make me, specifically, mentally ill

[huckleberryblossom]

hey can i ask for a tutorial or guide on how to draw a cat body? i've been struggling for days

just to get it out of the way since anyone you ask is going to say this, references are your best friend and will make this a lot easier

a friend of mine shared this site which has lots of good references, not just for cats but lots of things. if im looking for something specific, i usually google something like "cat curled up" and just scroll for a while or use multiple references to get what i want.

but as for how I draw a cat body, i use references but honestly a lot of what i do is a result of just having spent so long studying references (and how other artists drew them! sometimes studying what artists are doing can help you translate realism into whatever style you're going for) that i kind of just know where certain bones go/how the muscles would stretch or contract

this is how i tend to visualize the body at its most basic. the parts i highlighted are the pieces i use to ground the anatomy: the shoulder, the haunch, the elbow, the ankle, the paws, and the skull. their shape tends to change very little from pose to pose, which is why i exaggerate/define them so strongly. they're usually what i sketch first and use to get the pose the way i want it. everything else is stretchy and fluid to "connect" these pieces of the body.

here's an example of the parts using a photo from that site i linked

and the way it looks without the ref, vers what i drew by looking at the ref!

these are pretty standard walking/standing poses, but the idea works for more complex poses.

i havent really said much about it, because most of what i draw are refs, and they dont really have dramatic poses or difficult perspective, but its up to you to decide how much anatomy you're willing to sacrifice to get a more fluid motion, or a dramatic shot. i think this is where those guiding "pieces" of the body is helpful for me, because i can lay down those pieces and then do what i need to to connect them, so i may lose a little bit of exaggeration but the body doesn't look broken.

you can see that in action here, with this anniversary piece i did. my first sketch was only meant to get down expression, pose, and movement (i changed raven's completely, lmfao) and unfortunately i dont have anything for the steps inbetween because i think i refined on one layer. but i kept the vibe the same even after cleaning up the sketch and fixing the anatomy issues.

fur is one of the last things i draw when i draw cats. i like to get the body shape and movement down first, and then cover it with fur if i have to. i think this ref is a pretty good example of that

on the left is how i start most of my drawings, getting the pose down and everything where i want it. i make edits to this until i like the body shape (notice how the belly is much larger, and all of the limbs are thicker + the paws are big) then i use that sketch as guiding lines for all of the fur placement. the fur here ends up covering nearly all of the body, but it still looks fine because the anatomy was there to start with

i hope this helps anon skjfdhfkgjh ive never made a tutorial like this before. there's definitely better ones out there by other wc artists, but i dont have links to those posts on hand, maybe some of my followers can link them? good luck to you!! ill leave you with one last piece of advice you'll also hear a lot: just keep drawing! we all improve with time and practice, and are always learning and trying new things.

[kuroimarzipan]

To return the ask I was unable to answer for you: I'd love to hear your Kingmaker thoughts! Or Wrath, if you'd prefer.

HELP I MISCLICKED BEFORE I WROTE ANYTHING AND HAD TO EDIT THE POST LMFAO anyway im gonna answer for kingmaker only tonight cause i gotta go to bed and i spent too long writing shit out but i might reblog this and add answers for wotr on after work tomorrow lol

Favorite Male Character okay so i could be normal about this. i could. or i could let everyone here know that i mentally put together multiple AUs where esteem got together with dragn after witnessing like three lines of dialogue. yea the smith guy. the one without a portrait even.

BUT if i had to be more normal about it then its gotta be ekun. i just want that guy to be happy and i really enjoy how weirdly well he gets along with esteem. also he's like. the most ruthless good character ive seen in a while which i really find interesting. makes a great minister too. he just has this reassuring presence in your party like hes got your back you dont have to worry. also: dogy :^)

Favorite Female Character

okay so i went into this game assuming kanerah would be my fave and i was like. ready to finally not have to headcanon a romance and shit. and then this bitch named valerie came along. and oh my god she's such a piece of work. so principled. so hypocritical. so abrasive and easy to rile up. she's loyal because she's decided to be loyal. she turns on you for wanting to kill a guy early in act 2 and then turns BACK on him because he hits on her. she doesnt even realise shes gay. ever since she killed fredero because esteem pushed her to do it ive been thinking about it. ive not read the dialogue for her canon straight romance or whatever because honestly i dont care whatever the fuck im doing to her in my head is way more interesting to me. ive done all the stuff for her hellknight ending and im very excited heehee.

Least Favorite Character

kingmaker is interesting in that i had a really poor first impression of a LOT of the companions, but after having gotten to know them, i... honestly dont rlly hate any of them?? there's still a few companions that end up benchwarming for me bc i just like others more, but its really not been like wotr where the party lineup was so polarising for me lmao

WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED JHOD. fuck that guy. i dont even have a particular actually good reason either. i just think his vibes are rancid

Favorite Ship

specifically that moment when hegend drew his weapon and went to attack valerie and the moment combat initiated esteem hit him with the chains of light which was followed by a maximised empowered magma blast from kanerah which one shot him. that felt good

aside from that i kinda wanna see amiri and nilak reconcile at some point??

Favorite Friendship

i like that ekun the complete and utter loner was the person that taught esteem how to actually have friends instead of just manipulating people into appreciating her. i like to think he figured that out by the time his last quest rolled around. they have this kinda silent trust.

Favorite Quote

this was such a good moment to me specifically because of the circumstances of esteem having been chased out of its home because of what it is and then having tartuk tell it that it would never understand?? it was COLD AS ICE telling him that before dealing the killing blow and taking his crown. defining moments tbh

Worst Character Death (if any)

i have a feeling this is yet to come for me 🙃

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

maybe its silly but thee loyalty these two have hehehe

Saddest Moment

TBH another thing i think is yet to come for me.... i know that last act is gonna hit hard

Favorite Location

the swamp witch's hut... i actually really love the old beldame and all the lil storylines going on in that map so so much it rlly helped me solidify a bunch of important things abt esteem's backstory too lol

[robin--eggs]

name pending

[citrusdarling7]

Kinktober Day 5- Corruption Kink with The Darkling

summary- the leader of Ravka’s Second Army takes a special interest in his innocent new solider, you

cw- kinda manipulative behavior, loss of virginity, use of “y/n” once, use of the word “sir”, and the Darkling himself is a warning lmfao

🗡—————————————————————🗡

Shadows danced across the palace walls in an unnatural rhythm. All of the curtains were drawn and the only sound that could be heard was the occasional clunk of boots. Oprichniki guards were surely patrolling the halls, but they were the least of your worries.

Truthfully, you were unsure of why the Darkling had requested your company tonight. You had been told by a maid that he needed the help of a Corporalki to test some sort of new Fabrikator device. But you had only been in the Little Palace for a mere month, and surely someone with more experience would be of more use to him. Nonetheless, you stood waiting outside of his quarters at exactly midnight, just as you had been requested to do.

Suddenly, the long door slid open, creaking on its hinges. The Darkling stood tall in his dark kefta as a satisfied smile graced his face. You inclined your head slightly to show your respect for the general.

“Y/n. You look lovely, as always. Come in and join me.” He stepped to the side, allowing you room to pass. As you entered the dark quarters, you watched him wave away two nearby Oprichniki.

This was your first time visiting the Darkling’s private rooms, and you were more than impressed. A round table in the war room depicted all of Ravka, along with its neighbouring countries. A variety of little figurines had been placed over certain cities and trade routes. Beside it, there was a smaller table that sat next to a bursting bookshelf. The country’s emblem had been stitched to a large banner which hung from what you assumed to be a window.

“The new kefta suits you. It was a shame that the old one was wrecked beyond repair.” He reached for your sleeve, then stopped for a visual confirmation of consent. Proud to be wearing your Grisha colors, you held your left arm out to him. The Darkling admired the material between his fingers, most likely impressed with the work of one of his loyal Fabrikators.

“Thank you, Sir. Grisha technology is still so new to me, yet incredibly intriguing. Where is the new device I am meant to test?” You had glanced around the room, but seen nothing that looked as if it needed a Corporalki to operate it.

“Ah, about that. Forgive me, but I may have lied a bit to get you here,” he told you with narrowed eyes. You took a step closer, interested in what the general had to say. “The matters I wish to discuss with you tonight are rather confidential.”

Ohh. This was a matter of war and politics. Well, now you understood why he had sent those two guards away. Before you realized your abilities, your studies in Balakirev had been focused on international relations. It made sense that he would come to you.

“Is there a particular issue you wish to seek my counsel on?” The Darkling closed the gap between you, unknowingly pressing your back against the edge of the circular table.

“You’re too innocent for your own good, especially considering your status as a Heartrender,” he laughed, his hand brushing your hair behind your ears. Unsure of how to respond to his sudden, you meekly smiled up at him.

“Since the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that I needed to make you mine.” Cold fingers traced your jawline as he spoke.

“I am yours. I answer to my general, as any good soldier would,” you told him. You had concluded that this was a test of your loyalty, which made sense, seeing as you were still a fairly new recruit to the Second Army. “I would slit my throat before I join forces with the Shu Han or the witch-hunting Fjerdans.” The Darkling let out a deep chuckle as he shook his head.

“Although I admire your undying loyalty to Ravka, that is not what I meant. Saints, you truly are clueless.” You frowned, a bit angry that he would say such a thing. Although the mastery of your Heartrender abilities was still coming along, you considered yourself to be decently intelligent. “Do not fret, pretty girl. I did not summon you here to reprimand you. Your training is coming along wonderfully,” he assured you.

“Then Sir, why am I here?” He chose to non-verbally answer your question by grabbing your face and pulling you in for a rather passionate kiss.

You would never admit it to any of your fellow Grisha, but you had never been kissed before. In that moment, it was everything that you had ever imagined. The Darkling gripped the back of your head with both of his hands as his lips worked against yours, sending waves of euphoria down your spine. His tongue invaded your mouth, his teeth nipping at your lower lip.

When you finally forced yourself to push him away out of a need for breath, you realized how wrong this was. A reflective surface nearby revealed that your lips were flushed red and your hair was completely askew. Immediately, you headed for the door.

“Wait a moment,” the Darkling requested. His hands snaked around your waist from behind, successfully trapping you in his grip. “I apologize for being so forward with you. But Saints, you have ignored all of my previous advances! I simply wanted to confirm that you were interested.”

“Advances,” you spoke in a shaky breath. “Sir, what advances?”

“Was it not obvious? The flowers delivered to your room, the introduction to the royal family, the new kefta. Why else would I have been so welcoming to a Heartrender who came to my army nearly ten years late, with absolutely no battle skills whatsoever, if not for my clear desire?”

“I thought you saw potential in me,” you admitted. He laughed again, although this time it upset you.

“You are quite beautiful, but not of much use to me or the Second Army. A Heartrender who refuses to kill is like a dog that doesn’t bark.” Your face blossomed with shame at his reminder. He was right; you had made it clear to all of your instructors that you would not take a life. “Do not fret, pretty girl. I would reckon that all you need is a bit of corruption. Some darkness put into you.” The Darkling’s lips met the crook between your collarbone and neck. He nipped at your skin while humming quietly to himself.

“What do you mean?” you asked nervously.

“Let me ruin you; wreck that glowing innocence of yours. I will show you pleasure beyond what you have ever imagined,” he propositioned as one of his hands started to fumble with the fastenings of your kefta. His hot mouth against your skin made it so that the pit of your stomach felt as if it was on fire. “If you ask nicely, I might even be gentle.”

Making a spur-of-the-moment decision, you shrugged your kefta off your shoulders and turned to face the man. Dark eyes met yours as you wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him down for another kiss. You silently prayed that the Saints would forgive you for the mistake you were currently making.

This time around, the kiss quickly escalated. Strong arms lifted and positioned you on the table, scattering about dozens of figurines and notes. The Darkling hastily removed his own kefta while you discarded your boots and woolen stockings. Underneath your red Grisha coat was a simple black dress.

“My color looks wonderful on you,” he praised you as his hands slid under your dress. You whimpered in surprise and anticipation as two of his fingers gripped the waistband of your undergarments and pulled them down. He had to manually bend your knees to get the garment completely off of you, seeing as your body was too overwhelmed to do much.

“My pretty girl, has a man ever touched you before?” The Darkling’s fingers grazed against your bare core while he awaited your response.

“N-Never like that, Sir,” you told him, attempting to hang your head to shield your reddening face. He used his free hand to grab your chin and yank it upwards.

“Good. I want you all to myself.” His digits trailed gently across your cunt, collecting your arousal with every swipe. “So wet for me,” he hummed in approval. Two fingers penetrated you suddenly, eliciting your body to lean forward into his. Once again, your lips met his in a fiery kiss.

As his fingers continuously thrusted into your sensitive cunt, it became harder and harder for you to concentrate on the kiss. Small moans left your mouth every few seconds as the pleasure continued to grow.

“Fuck,” you exclaimed in between heavy pants. Your head fell between the crook of his neck as the Darkling added another finger, which increased the sensations you were feeling by ten-fold.

“Does that feel good, pretty girl?” Unable to form a coherent response, you opted to nod your head and whimper. The general’s fingers left you, leaving your cunt aching and clenching over nothing. “I think you’re ready for the real thing.”

Before you could process anything that had just happened, you were lying on black bed sheets in a very dark room as the Darkling attacked your neck with his lips. His bare cock was hard against your thigh. You were so overwhelmed by everything happening that you had yet to notice anything abnormal in his sleeping chambers.

“Give me your hand,” he demanded suddenly. You obeyed, although hesitantly. “It’s going to hurt at first. Dig your nails into my palm if you must.”

Without warning, he lined himself up to your entrance and began to slowly stretch your walls. You bit against your lip and clamped your eyes shut in an attempt to ignore the sharp pain. The Darkling pressed his forehead against yours as he let out a low groan.

“Saints, you’re fucking tight. You take me so well.” You had the sudden urge to claw at his back, which you acted on. As he bottomed out inside of you, your fingernails drew blood from his skin.

At least, they should have. When you retracted your hands, you were surprised to find no trace of blood. Perhaps your Grisha abilities had finally shown up in a most unexpected way. The Darkling came to a similar realization.

“My pretty girl, I am going to have so much fun with you.”

🗡—————————————————————🗡

(tagging some of you hotties even tho idk if you’re a grishaverse fan) (if you’re tired of getting tagged in my kinktober stuff lmk!)

@brriley @b-aobao @ravenriddlewrites @littlemulattokitten

[elysianslove]

Hi! <3 I'm the roomate hc anon again (lol) and can I request best friends to lovers hc for iwaizumi, kuroo and oikawa? Also this blog is gonna blow up soon so remember me when you're famous bro 😌✊️❤️

OMG HI AGAIN! i’m so sorry this is late :( but oh my the excitement that flooded through me when i saw this request hsvhjsd. i really hope you enjoy this!! also vshdks i luv u bb THANK YOU.

iwaizumi hajime

im making these as detailed as fuck so i apologize in advance <3

becoming best friends with hajime was a very out of the blue thing 

the two of you shared a lot of classes together, and since you were always seeing each other, you’d choose each other as partners a lot 

you’d sit next to him in all the classes that you could

you’d meet up a lot during school breaks and just hang out 

you two clicked very well honestly, like you found that it was so easy to talk to him, and it was so easy to lose yourself in the conversation 

most of your convos are v mature and sophisticated too like

it’s nice when you can talk to someone on the same brain wavelength as you yk 😼

anyways overtime you’d come to his practice sessions, and even if they were long you’d just stay and watch bc why not

if you had hw to do and he noticed you were a lil stressed about it, he’d tell u to come study while he practiced as a change of scenery and all 

he’d walk you home almost every night at this point

oikawa noticing and being jealous <3 

“they’re stealing you from me!” “they’re not— what is wrong with you oikawa.” 

okay so this best friend stuff has been going on for a long time

long enough for you to realize you wanted more from him

but this is iwaizumi hajime and it’s almost impossible to know what he’s thinking 

like

ever 

so you just keep it to yourself, thinking it’s just a small crush and it’s not worth ruining what the two of you have at this rate 

so all this had happened first year, and when you’re nearing the end of your second year

that’s when you realize that

shit

it’s not just a crush

and when you have feelings for someone, every little thing they do expands a million times in your head

so a hug from him that you’d once never go over twice has you thinking about it as you go to sleep

the hoodies he’d lend you during practice while you stayed in the gym bc it was ungodly cold in there now send tingles down your spine at the lingering scent of him

the way he’d grab your hand to drag you somewhere now leave a heavy effect on your palm, forcing you to trace it once he’s gone 

his texts give you butterflies 

every time his name pops up on your phone screen you have a mini heart attack

and yeah

those are all symptoms of a crush

but is a crush meant to last this long? 

at the start of your third year, you greet him outside of the school gates after not seeing you all summer

he smiles so bright and hugs you so, so tightly 

you already are so hyperaware of how strong iwa is

but the feelings you have for him that won’t go away are so not helping your fixation on the feel of his biceps 

anyways before this becomes v nsfw 

you two catch up like u had met yesterday 

and then at the end of the day, after practice, which you stay for bc u missed ur vbc boys 🥺

he walks you home 

like always

and as he stands by your front door, in a burst of courage, he takes your hand in his and pulls you harshly towards him, pushing his body against yours and capturing your lips in a heated kiss

it’s so messy and harsh and you pretty much collided 

but holy shit

you were pretty sure fireworks erupted when you two kissed

years of pining and what had felt like unrequited love finally being resolved 

it’s the most satisfying feeling ever

you never want to stop kissing him

but alas </3 

when he pulls back, you’re both breathing so heavily 

you’re not sure if it’s the adrenaline or the kiss itself 

and he just looks at you and goes “did u tan while you’re away ur eyes look brighter” 

no sir i am in love with you

when you two officiate things 

he’s actually way shyer than he was as best friends??? 

like as best friends he wouldn’t feel slightly weird about hugging you in public or grabbing at your hand randomly or being seen alone with you

but now like

people know ??? and somehow that scares iwa 

or makes him uncomfortable 

idk he just feels iffy

but ur so understanding bless ur heart <3 

ur so careful with him and take it at his own pace 

zero pda at the start of the relationship 

like he won’t even wanna hug u in front of the seijoh team 

but slowly he warms up 

and he starts getting more comfortable with things like hand holding and occasional pecks on the cheek/lips 

your traditions as best friends don’t die as lovers 

if anything you believe in them even more 

now you watch more diligently during practice 

you proudly attend his games in his jersey, cheering the loudest for him (and for the rest of the boys bc they: best) 

walks home with you are so much more serene 

always gives you a kiss before he parts ways 

idk it’s like some sort of commemoration for your first kiss/confession 

unless you invite him inside 😏

this is so fucking long im so sorry i just love iwa 

anyways anybody want boyfriend!iwa headcanons i got a lot hehe 

to conclude, it was so gradual and inevitable with the two of you, and you’re forever glad it happened when it did and you hadn’t rushed anything <3333

oikawa tōru

unlike hajime, this wasn’t something that took one or two years

this bitch couldn’t admit he was in love with you for like 10 years okay 

you’ve known him for the majority of your life, because you’d always lived in close proximity to each other 

but you were never best friends yk? just acquaintances 

it was around the end of middle school when you two got close

cause you saw he was applying to aoba johsai for high school

and you were like !!! i’m going there too 

at first he was like stop copying me 😾 

you guys had a staring contest bc y’all are idiots and there were legit tears streaming down ur face but u were not about to lose to a pissbaby like him

he blinked 😁👍🏼

and he lost 

and then he decided “you’re my best friend now ” 

anyways aside iwa, he now had someone else he was going into high school with

like it’s a completely new environment but he had two people he very much liked going with him !!! 

when the time came around to like apply for/join clubs, you had been so clueless 

but toru stuck by you !! and he was so adamant on helping you !! 

he would sit with you after school as he practiced tossing with hajime and just brainstorm with you what you liked to do

it’s what brought you two closer together

cause you realized just how many things in common you had with him 

for a full week he tried to help you come up with something

for the sake of this hc let’s say u decide to join the newsletter club 

you’re very wary at first but then he’s like when ur part of it you’ll visit the vbc regularly so u can take pictures/observe to write essays 

the fact that toru would be there kinda set you at ease 

now you’ve never seen toru play properly 

he’s practiced in front of you before

plenty of times

but a proper match? or a practice one? 

never 

so it’s safe to say u were in awe when you got assigned to go watch a practice match against (idk pick a school) 

it’s embarrassing to admit but your eyes were on him the entire time 

thank god he became the captain later on else it’d be so sus 

you really tried to pay attention to anybody else lmfao 

it’s kinda what drew you to him more

you still didn’t really have feelings

you only realized just how passionate he is about everything 

at some point you had an essay to write for your newsletter about the volleyball club

but you were having a hard time like really getting into it

so you immediately just called toru and were like “help 😃” 

he came over and you asked him a bunch of questions, and he would go on deadass 20 min rants for each of them

you were just 

so amazed 

like how could someone have so much passion for something like this?

you realize how but that’s for later

overtime you two got closer bc of how much your work was associated with him

he’s incredible as a best friend 

he’s the first one with the school’s weekly newsletter as soon as it’s out

granted it’s to read the section about him but yk, the sentiment’s there 

also love, love, loves lazy days with you 

he doesnt even care if the boys know that he worships the chick flicks you two watch 

i feel like oikawa would be an avid anime watcher

idk why i just do 

so he’d be blasting anime theme songs on a speaker as you’re in the shower and he’s in your room waiting for you and you’re both just singing w the sound of water rushing down 

actually it’s not just anime songs it’s all songs 

a l l songs 

anyways

so you two get really close, and then he has a super important match coming up 

let’s say it’s the spring interhigh one against karasuno

the one they won

idk im just choosing at random 

and the night before he’s like begging you on text to wear his jersey

he’s like PLEASE NO ONE’S EVER DONE THAT FOR ME

you’re like bruh u have a cult following ????? 

but eventually u say yes

ur not really sure where it’s coming from but this is oikawa he’s an unpredictable as can be

when you show up in a jersey he so conveniently left at your house once

he’s so genuinely shocked even though he was the one that asked for this???

gives you the biggest hug like spins you around and just 

“you’re my lucky charm” 

when he wins 

after celebrating with his team

he runs over to you

and just

he kisses you

full on the mouth

it’s probably the rush and excitement of winning that gave him the courage to finally spill all his feelings out into this kiss

you’re in his jersey, in the stands and you genuinely feel like it’s only just the two of you

despite how sudden it was the kiss is so gentle, like he’d been planning it since forever 

“i told you you’re my lucky charm” he says as he rests his forehead against yours and kisses you gently again

oikawa had already been affectionate as your best friend

always displaying his love outwardly with like always calling out your name so loud whenever he sees you and giving you bone crushing hugs

deadass his 6’0 self will just jump on you 

but now it’s extra

makki always gags around the two of you but you just stick ur tongue out at him and go “ur just mad ur best friend’s getting some pussy/dick and ur not” 

makki then proceeds to shriek at you like a fucking banshee <3 

anyways 

yes 

oikawa best friends to lovers excellence is so cute eeeekkk

and now u always wear his jersey at games 

(u couldnt make it to the game against karasuno where they lost for whatever reason and he held it against u for the longest time)

(“maybe if a certain someone were there we wouldn’t have lost”)

what a big baby you love him

kuroo tetsurō

AH SEXY CHEMISTRY NERD 👅👅👅

kuroo as ur best friend 

im frothing 

i feel like you’d grow close after meeting at an event or something 

like you’re a friend of a friend of a friend 

i see kuroo as someone who’s so suave and cool and flirty with people he doesn’t have feelings for

but put the crush factor in and he’s a mess

like his brain just stops working

so when he first met you

he thought u were so fucking hot 

but that’s it

his lower body was doing all the thinking <3 

so he was so flirty 

and that’s essentially what your friendship is built off of 

and when friends are so flirty with each other, they generally grow close and trust each other really quickly 

ur not a nekoma student but ur in tokyo so you meet up often 

you just

it’s so nice to be around him

you find it so easy to just be yourself around him 

going out with him is super fun 

and a lot of the times you guys have study dates and you literally don’t talk except during the 10 min breaks you two take

it’s just hyper focus for the two of you which is great

he really channels the best student in you what a man ! 

i think during your third year of high school you two got insanely close

because you were highly unsure if you were gonna leave japan or stay 

so you wanted to make the most out of everything 

so you’d go out with him more often

he’d stay during the weekends and you two would like bake christmas goods all night even if it’s literally september lmfao

cuddling is so natural 

like you’re both so touchy with each other but not in a weird way just a super comfortable kind of way

like if you’re shorter than him, he’s always leaning his arm on you like you’re his arm rest 

it’s a win win bc he gets to touch you and tease you

wow the horny really jumped out in that one

anyways

you go to every single one of his games !!

cheer him on so!! fucking!! loud!!

you probably make a provocative sign and stand a chair and just wave it around and kuroo’s so heart eyes lmfao

the climb up to becoming lovers is so

natural? 

i think kuroo first realizes that maybe, yk, he wants those flirtatious comments to mean something and those random touches to hold more romantic value to them, when you two are out together

it’s a completely chill day and it’s not really warm not really chilly. you’re just comfortable 

he takes you to a park after buying the both of you ice cream from the stand across the street and sits down at a bench with you

just people watching 

and then it kinda goes really silent

but 

it’s not awkward??? like at all???

he’s not looking to fill the silence with any random words

he’s just

enjoying simply being with you

and he glances at you momentarily and it hits him like so hard just how pretty you are 

his eyes slightly widen like

holy fuck

what the f u ck

remember when i said he’s all cool until feelings come into play

yeah 😼

he literally freezes up and blurts out, without even meaning to, “i think i have feelings for you.” 

he really didnt even process he said that

you kinda

pause for a second

and then you realize what you said and you just smile and lean over towards him, lifting your thumb up to the corner of his lips and brushing away some ice cream

“you think?” you tease, and then at the spot where the ice cream was misplaced, you placed a gentle kiss

he kinda relaxes and then eyes you as he says, “i know.” 

it is just. heaven after that

i think the two of you would be less flirty around each other once becoming official 

like yeah he definitely comments once or twice every now and then and don’t get me wrong, so do you

but it’s just less frequent 

like a blanket has been lifted to uncover the true, hidden meanings behind the comments and you can now just breathe easier 

you two end up in the same uni on accident hevejsk

like you had a long ass talk about how it’s okay if you didn’t end up in the same uni you’d still make it work

and it would’ve worked tbh

fate just ships you two too much

when you told each other you were literally that spiderman meme of the two spidermen pointing at each other lmao

power couple of the uni

power couple of tokyo

power couple of japan

you’re literally so happy with him you wouldn’t trade him for the world 

and maybe you saw it coming 

but it still remains a shock whenever you wake up and he’s there laying next to you, smiling lazily at you before reaching over to give you a gentle kiss 

anyways happy early birthday king i love you kuroo hehe

end note; i really had a lotta fun w this one omg!! thank you again for requesting, anon, and i hope everybody else enjoyed!! feel free to request, mwah <3

[prettyboybarzal]

lessons in romance // nate mackinnon x reader

summary: nate mackinnon is really bad at keeping a steady girlfriend. so bad that’s become somewhat of a joke between him and the boys. but you come along and try to set him straight.

word count: 14k+

author’s note: it’s finally here. i’m honestly surprised at how fast i cranked this out... which is actually a LOT longer than most people write on here so mayb i shouldn’t brag lmao! this fic was inspired by THIS gifset. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give me feedback/reblog!!!!!!

warnings: smut (i jumped out of my comfort zone people. i finally wrote some lmfao) & mentions of a past toxic ex

Weekends were better spent in bed or visiting family, not sitting in a crowded bar with men who reminded you slightly of your ex-boyfriend. You were probably overreacting a little bit because the guys truly meant well, but their overly boy-ish energy was startlingly similar to that of your ex. Maybe a few more drinks would help the cause and you could get passed the sex jokes.

Mel Landeskog was the reason you were there. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, much like her husband, and so you were sitting across the booth from some of the largest men you’d ever seen in your life. Gabe gave you the rundown of their names as they arrived though the only one you could remember was Cale. He was a perpetually blushing 21-year-old named after a vegetable; how could you forget him?

“Do you think Nate’s upset about this one?” Cale asked. The new topic of conversation was their friends’ disastrous date since he texted to tell them he was broken up with and was on his way to them. “They were sort of serious.”

“We’re about to find out,” Gabe announced, nodding towards the entrance of the bar. Nate was on his way to the booth, tired smile on his lips. As he got closer, he started shaking his head and the table erupted in chirps at his expense.

You recognized him from earlier at the Landeskog’s pregame. He was slipping out of the front door as you stepped in. His cologne was the type the good-looking guys always wear, and you weren’t disappointed when you looked up at him. He was handsome with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled to his elbows and the top three buttons undone, and when he smiled, you all but swallowed your tongue.

He began to greet his teammates. The chain around his neck caught the light of the DJ booth and you found yourself gazing at it. You tore your eyes away from the gold at the sound of Mel’s voice introducing you.

“This is my girlfriend, YN, from my Saturday morning Cycle class,” she said. “And, YN, this is my husband’s boyfriend, Nate MacKinnon.”

He threw his head back in a laugh at Mel’s joke as he extended a hand to you. “Nice to meet you.”

You listened to the quips from his teammates, each one with their own opinion about Nate’s relationship or lack thereof. It seemed like this wasn’t the first time in recent months that he’d been broken up and it had become somewhat of a spectacle to the boys. Mel, who’d seen this song and dance one too many times, wrapped her fingers around your elbow and tugged you with her towards the bar.

“What was that about?”

“Nate can’t hold down a girlfriend,” she explained. “It’s been a joke since he first came here because they almost all have the same issue with him.”

“And what is that?”

“He’s not romantic enough.”

You glanced back over your shoulder and watched the boys laughing amongst each other. It looked like they were celebrating as they lifted their beers in a sad looking toast, and it hit you right where it hurt.

You really saw your ex-boyfriend in the group now and, though you tried not to make assumptions, you found it hard to set the first impression aside. The liquor in your system didn’t help. With each joke about his dating misadventures, you became less of a fan of him and by the end of the night you were bubbling over in annoyance.

Gabe and Mel offered Nate a ride home towards the end of the night and you managed to keep your expression neutral when he accepted. As they headed out to grab the car, you and Nate waited at the curb several feet away from each other.

“I’m sorry about your break up,” you offered after a moment of silence. The statement came out more like a question and Nate’s lips quirked up into a smirk at the inflection of your voice. “Sorry, I just can’t tell if you’re upset or not, so I don’t know if I should even offer my condolences.”

“I’m, uh, I’m not upset,” he began. “I saw it coming.”

“How so?”

“Let’s just say this isn’t the first time a girl’s broken up with me for not being romantic enough,” he said. Thoughts were filling your head faster than you could make sense of them. There was no reason for the situation to annoy you as much as it did. You didn’t know this guy and the odds that you ever saw him again were slim.

“So, if it’s not the first time, why hasn’t anything changed?”

“Excuse me?” he asked. There was a crease between his eyebrows. He hadn’t been expecting you to respond like that. You shouldn’t have. It wasn’t your business

“I mean, you act like a martyr when you probably would be successful in love if you just put in the romantic effort these girls are craving,” you said. Your anger had begun to boil over and words were spilling from your mouth faster than you could stop them. “Guys like you are the worst. You lead girls on and make them think they’re special. Next thing they know, they’ve been wasting time on you and your lack of effort.”

The comment made Nate take a step away from you. His eyebrows drew together in shock and confusion. As you spoke, he turned his body to you and crossed his arms over his chest. The moment you closed your mouth, he interjected. “You don’t even know me.”

“I don’t have to,” you argued, turning to him. You were in a stand-off with a man several inches taller than you, and to any passerby it probably looked a little bit funny, but you weren’t backing down. “I know guys like you. I’ve dated guys like you.”

Before Nate could continue arguing, the Landeskogs pulled up to the curb. Mel hollered out for you two and the topic of conversation was dropped.

---

You regretted everything you said to Nate the moment you woke up the morning after. It wasn’t like you to be so rude, especially not to someone you didn’t know. Your heart stopped every time Mel texted you in the days following. You thought that at any moment she’d confront you about what you said to him, but it never came. As the week carried on, you found yourself forgetting the harsh words spoken outside the bar and the worry stopped.

Until Thursday night.

The knock at your apartment door was unexpected. You met your roommate, Mara’s, narrowed eyes over the dirty dishes you were working on. By the look on both your faces, neither one of you had a guest on the way over. She turned on her heel to check the peephole and the next look she gave you was equally as confusing as the previous one. She still opened the door.

“Does YN live here?”

The voice sent shockwaves through your veins and you stopped your movements, plates held just above your head as you were about to slide them into the cabinet. Nate MacKinnon was at your apartment. Mara nodded at him slowly before stepping back to let him in.

“Hi,” he greeted. His hands were tucked into his sweatshirt pocket, legs clad in compression leggings and a pair of shorts. He looked like he’d just come from a workout and his hair was still wet from the shower he’d taken before coming over. “I hope you don’t mind. Gabe gave me your address.”

“No problem,” you told him through a shaky breath. “Come in. Come sit at the island.”

He removed his shoes and approached slowly, sending Mara one last smile as she crept off down the hall. You silently cursed her for leaving you with your shaking hands as you cleared the clutter from the countertop. You watched him as he settled into the stool across from you, mirroring the kind smile he was sharing with you.

“Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? I have food, too, if you’re hungry.”

“Don’t worry about me,” he said. His voice was softer now than it had been before. “I wanted to talk to you about the other night. It won’t take long.”

“Oh?” you asked, trying to ignore the way your stomach dropped. You wanted to start apologizing right then. You didn’t have a reason to go and butt into his personal life like you had. You should’ve kept your mouth shut. Guys like him didn’t care about your opinions. “I’m sorry for what I said. When I get drunk, I have the tendency to shoot off at the mouth.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said. Your mouth snapped shut. “No one keeps me in check. All the guys think the fact that I can’t keep a girlfriend is a big joke because I’m so bad at dating. It shouldn’t be a joke. So, I’m sorry and thank you.”

You dropped your hands to the counter and leaned against it. The last thing you expected was for Nate to thank you, so you needed a moment to gather your thoughts. His eyes glistened as he watched you and then the corner of his lip quirked up because you started giggling.

“You should not be thanking me,” you said. With that simple statement, the tension in the air lifted. You turned your back on him, indicating that if the conversation must go on, you were going to be doing the dishes as well. “I was just being bitter the other night.”

“You had every right to be,” he said. “I was gloating.”

“You were kind of gloating,” you mumbled. You hadn’t meant for Nate to hear, and he knew that, but he laughed anyway. You turned to face him with an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” he said. He didn’t even know why you were apologizing at that point. It seemed like you’d apologize for taking up space and that made him feel a bit sad. He smiled politely at you anyway, to signal he wasn’t annoyed by the apologies, and it lit up his features in a way you hadn’t noticed the other night. “Anyway, I came here for a reason.”

“Okay.”

“I need you to teach me to be romantic.”

He delivered it tentatively, as though he was afraid of the way you might react. In the split second that followed, your mouth open and closed twice as every possible response came to your mind. He waited patiently.

Finally, “You don’t even know me. How can you be so sure that I’m the right person to teach you this stuff?”

“You’re a girl,” he explained, deadpan. “Girls know romance.” You snorted at how adorably dumb he was. Your hand flew up to cover your mouth in embarrassment and your cheeks burned as he grinned at you, amused by the sound of your laugh. “What do you say?”

---

Mondays were always your least favorite day of the week. Every weekend, your workload piled up and most Mondays you could hardly take a lunch break because you were so busy getting shit done. Whenever you came home from work on Mondays, you were wiped. Mara always made sure to have dinner ready for you when you got in, and the two of you often sat on the couch while eating those nights.

That Monday, you were sure that you’d be in bed before the Bachelor even started. But then Nate showed up unannounced. Mara was in the middle of washing the dishes this time, so you were the one to open the door. He greeted you with a goofy smile and a large electrical wire. Without a word, you stepped to the side and he was kicking off his shoes to enter the living room. Mara caught the roll of your eyes as you followed him.

He was standing beside the television when you entered the room. The wire he’d brought with him was connected to his cellphone while he found a port for the other end. You sat at the corner of sectional and waited, yawns escaping your mouth every minute or so. The day had been long enough already.

Suddenly, the television lit up with his cellphone background on full display. He held it up to show you, a grin present on his face.

“I need your help,” he began. He tapped one of the dating apps on his home screen and immediately you were regretting letting him in. You realized he wasn’t leaving any time soon as he unraveled the cord and plopped down beside you on the couch. Mara entered the room, eyes catching on the beautiful brunette woman on the screen, and then she gave Nate a curious look. “Come on, Mara. Join us.”

An amused smile came to her lips as she sat on the other end of the couch.

“I am not swiping for you,” you grunted, rubbing at your eyes. “I have no interest in judging girls off these apps.”

“Relax, YN,” he said. “I’m not asking you to play matchmaker. Just help me talk to this girl.”

“You need help talking to girls?” Mara asked as she gave him the once over. You laughed out loud while Nate blushed.

“I don’t need help,” he began. He turned his attention back to the television and pulled up the profile of a beautiful brunette woman. “I just don’t want to come on too strong, or douche-y. This girl is perfect and I wanna take her out.”

“Can you two make this quick?” Mara asked. “The Bachelor’s on tonight.”

“And my bed is calling my name.”

Nate peered at you over his shoulder. He smiled at your tired eyes, drooping as you leaned your head on your hand. He leaned back, stopping inches from your face and said, “I’ll make it quick.”

To your surprise, and Mara’s delight, he reached up and ran his hand over your hair before turning back to the television. He gave a rundown about the girl on the television, but his words went in one ear and out the other. Your glazed eyes watched as he typed out messages to her, and you laughed when Mara made fun of the way he was talking. (“Why the fuck are you talking like that? Are you her father?”) Finally, he turned on you.

“Are you gonna help or what, love doctor?”

“Give me the phone,” you said, extending your hand. He plopped it into your palm and watched you type out the message on the television screen. It took you less than a minute to type out a sweet message asking the girl out on a date before you were shoving the phone back into his hand. “You overthink too much.”

“That’s it?”

“Short and sweet,” you noted with a shrug. “I’d say yes.”

Nate’s eyes cut to you and you felt a chill run down your spine at the intensity behind them. Mara cleared her throat as you diverted your attention from him, shaking the feeling you got from his baby blues. She smiled sweetly at the two of you. “Can I detach your phone from our TV now? It’s almost time for Bach.”

You peeled yourself off the couch and headed to the bathroom to wash your face before changing into sweats and a t-shirt. You returned to the living room to find Nate with his feet up on the coffee table. Mara had tuned the television to ABC and the Bachelor recap was playing. He looked up as you entered and frowned.

“Stay out here a little bit longer,” he proposed, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “We’ll watch some of this and see if she says yes to the date.”

“Nate, I’m exhausted.”

“C’mon.”

You couldn’t say no, not when he was pouting like that. So, you rolled your eyes and walked around the couch to plop down in the spot you’d been before. Before long, your eyes were closing and you couldn’t keep them open any longer.

Nate didn’t realize you fell asleep, but he didn’t mind when you leaned against his arm as a pillow. He stiffened for a moment, unsure of what to do, but a soft snore escaped your lips and he found himself smiling down at your peaceful face. He didn’t move for the rest of the episode because he was too nervous to wake you. When the credits began to roll, he dropped a hand to your knee and shook you lightly.

Your eyes opened, bleary from sleep, and you found that you’d fallen asleep on him. You jerked away, realizing that it was probably too close for comfort, and smiled apologetically. He returned the smile before standing and gathering his things from the coffee table.

“Get some sleep,” he said on his way to the front door. You hummed in response, following him to the door to say a proper goodbye and lock up. He pulled you into a hug before going, shocking you once again by with how gentle he was despite hardly knowing you.

“Did she say yes?” you asked as he pulled away from the hug. “I almost forgot to ask.”

“Yeah, she did.”

---

Lesson #1: The First Date

In the chaos of the week that followed, you’d almost forgotten that you promised Nate your assistance before the date. You weren’t used to being accountable for someone else like you were now, so it wasn’t surprising.

“There is a man at reception asking for you.”

The office receptionist, Debby, was standing in the doorway with a giddy smile on her lips. You knew immediately from the look in her eye that the man at the front desk was going to be the talk of the office for a week.

You stood, following her out the door of your office and down the hall. As you rounded the corner to reception, you saw Nate leaning against the desk. He was sucking on a mint from the bowl in front of him and smiled wide when he saw you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have my date tonight, remember?” he asked. One glance at your watch told you that you worked a little too late. You cursed under your breath, turning quickly to head back to the office and send one last email. Nate hesitated, but ultimately decided to follow you down the hallway. He eyed the pencil skirt you were wearing, eyes lingering a little too long on your ass. He shook his head from his trance, knowing damn well that he was just asking for trouble.

Nate lingered in the doorway of your office for a moment before his eyes landed on a picture frame across the room that caught his attention. It was a marble frame without a photo like it had been removed and never replaced. He picked the frame up and turned it over in his hands, then turned to you.

“You need a picture.”

“What?” you asked, eyes still trained on the screen. They flickered up to see what he was talking about and then got right back to work. “Used to be a picture of me and my ex. Nobody’s important enough to put in.”

Nate placed the frame down. He felt a pang of sadness for you in that moment, but distracted himself by moving onto the next shelf and playing with some of the desk games on it. He was in the middle of fiddling with your Rubiks cube when you stood from the computer.

“You’re wearing that?” you asked. Nate winced at the question, glancing down at the jeans and t-shirt he was wearing. When he looked back up, you were wearing a shit eating grin. “I’m fucking with you.”

“Jesus, YN.” He clutched his heart and released a deep breath. You rounded the desk and grabbed your jacket from the hook. As you swung it over your shoulders, Nate stepped up to help. You slipped your arms through the arm holes trying to suppress the flair up of butterflies in your stomach.

When you reached the sidewalk outside the building, you led him down the block to a florist. Their window displays were your favorite in the city and you often found yourself going out of the way to peak at them on shitty days. You daydreamed about the day someone bought you a bouquet from there specifically.

The bell above the door rang as you stepped in. The smell of fresh flowers hit your nose and you sniffed it in happily. You grinned back at Nate and he felt a tug at his heart at your excitement.

“Can I help you?”

You bounded over to the woman behind the counter, Nate following behind you a little awkwardly. You gave him an expectant look and then his brain finally caught up with the question. As he leaned forward to look at the flowers in the case in front of you, his hand pressed against the small of your back.

“What would you get?” he asked curiously. You took a sharp intake of breath at the lack of space between you and pulled away to look at the flowers.

“Sunflowers and baby’s breath are my favorites.”

Nate smiled at the woman behind the counter and repeated what you’d just said, adding, “It’s for a first date, so I don’t need it too big or anything.”

You laughed at his explanation, and then the blush that come to his cheeks when he realized how silly he sounded. Neither of you noticed the confused look on the florist’s face. She was about to comment on how cute the two of you were, and in hindsight she was glad she kept her mouth shut. He reached out and squeezed your arm as a warning to stop teasing him. You stepped away completely, still smiling stupidly as he turned to pay.

“I’d’ve put roses in there too,” you told him once you were back on the sidewalk. “But this is only a first date. It might’ve been a little intense.”

“Roses?” he asked. You hummed in response, plucking the flowers out of his hand as you continued in the direction of the restaurant he was meeting his date at. “Good to know, you know, for the future.”

The walk to the date spot was only about ten minutes long and most of it was spent talking about your plans for the weekend as opposed to his date. He was going to be away with the team and you had plans to visit family. You kept thinking to yourself that you needed to stop getting distracted by him and his good looks and his sweet disposition. He was dating someone, and that person was not and would not be you, but he kept surprising you with the way he weaseled himself into your life.

“We’ll have to hang out next week sometime, then,” he said, snatching the flowers back out of your hand playfully. You nodded, but you were taken by surprise. It didn’t make sense that he’d want to hang around you without getting something out of it, whether it was dating advice or something more. Clearly, Nate didn’t care and you were beginning to wonder if maybe you’d get a beautiful friendship out of this nonsense.

“Any last-minute advice?”

“Don’t say anything dumb,” you said to him, emboldened by the realization that you might actually be friends now. Nate laughed out loud. “You think I’m just being funny, but sometimes you say stupid shit.”

“Jeeze,” he muttered. “Way to fuck up my self-esteem right before a date.”

“Oh, please.” You rolled your eyes and came to a stop just before the crosswalk he’d be using. He slowed to a stop as well, the bouquet of flowers falling to his side as he looked down at you. You reached out to right them with an amused smile. “Careful with these.”

“Got it, boss.”

You stalled a moment more, gazing at the flowers. You almost felt jealous of the girl going to dinner with Nate because those flowers would look perfect in a vase on your dining room table. “God, I really hope she appreciates those.”

The tone of your voice took Nate by surprise. It sounded a little sad, and full of yearning, and he felt kind of bad that he’d be walking away with the flowers you’d been admiring the entire walk from the florist. Even so, you said your goodbyes and he watched you turn on your heel to head home. He felt stuck in place, eyes trained on your retreating frame while his feet were cemented to the sidewalk. Before he could second guess himself, and his motives, he called out your name.

“Wait, YN!” When you turned, he was halfway down the sidewalk to you and, once he was within arm’s length, he plucked a sunflower from the bouquet and extended it. “For you.” Your cheeks felt red hot as your fingers curled around the stem. You hoped he couldn’t notice a blush. If he did, he didn’t make it known and left with a simple, “I’ll talk to you later.”

A stupid smile sat on your lips the entire way home. You felt the thumping of your heart long after you’d entered your place and placed the flower in the dining table vase. No matter what you found yourself doing that night, Nate remained at the back of your mind. You swore to yourself that it was because you wondered how his date was going, nothing more. But, when your eyes kept finding their way to the sunflower on the dining room table, you worried that maybe the reason you couldn’t stop thinking about him was something more.

---

You grabbed dinner with Mel the next Tuesday. Because of your trip to visit family, the two of you agreed to take a week off and reschedule some sort of get together for Tuesday. Gabe was home so he’d be with Linnea, and you were just happy that it wasn’t Monday. She was in the middle of a story when your phone lit up beside you; Nate’s name was on full display.

When’s our next lesson?

You snatched the phone off the table and away from Mel’s prying eyes, hoping that it wouldn’t peak her curiosity. The movement itself was enough to stir her, though, and Mel was soon leaning forward to see what was going on. She reached out and pushed the phone down, craning her neck to read the text.

“Next lesson?” she asked, eyebrow quirking. “Who is this?”

“It’s Nate MacKinnon.”

You said it so quickly and so nonchalant that Mel actually continued picking at her brunch before she reacted. Her fork clattered to the plate. “Did you just say Nate MacKinnon?”

“This,” you began gesturing at her wild eyes and wicked smile, “is exactly why I didn’t tell you.”

“Why?” she asked, feigning innocence. “Because I’m totally going to take this and run with it?” You dropped your face in your hands. “You should go for it. He’s a little dumb, but mostly cute. You definitely have the patience to deal with him though.”

“Mel, it’s not like that at all,” you told her. “I’m helping him learn how to be more romantic.” Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline in shock. “I’m serious. You know just as well as I do that he’s bad dating. He asked for my help after we met. I have enough experience with douchebags to tell him what not to do.”

“You sure do,” Mel agreed. You laughed at her response and an easy smile spread across her face. “Maybe teaching him a thing or two about how to be romantic will remind you of what you deserve.”

You sighed, picking up the coffee in front of you to take a sip. Mel knew better than anyone, besides Mara, how shitty the guys in your life had been. She met your ex last year just before your break up and she hated him from the moment you introduced the two. He never deserved you and her heart broke the longer you spent wasting your time on him. When you finally ended it, she was your biggest supporter.

You left the message unanswered, not wanting to give her anymore ammo in what was sure to be her new mission. When she got up to head to the bathroom before the check came, you opened the message from him. The last conversation was from Saturday night and he was letting you know that the girl he’d gone out with was looking forward to their next date.

What do you need help with now?

Do you know how to cook?

---

Lesson #2: A Homemade Meal

“I can’t believe you don’t know how to cook,” you grunted as soon as Nate pulled his apartment door open on Friday night. The grin on his face was anything but apologetic and you pushed past him with two large grocery bags in hand. You brought them to the kitchen and began unpacking them onto the counter.

“I do know how to cook, by the way,” he said, stepping up beside you to help you remove everything from the bags. You eyed him skeptically. “Mostly just the basic meats and vegetables.”

“You can’t cook a date your pregame meal.”

Nate knew that. He wasn’t that stupid, but he did love saying stupid shit around you. You tended to roll your eyes at him, but your lips always gave away how you really felt about his stupidity. The right side always curled up into a smirk, like you were trying to fight the laughter bubbling in your chest. He loved it when you did that.

“Is this, like, a meal your ex used to make?” he asked after grabbing some spices from the cabinet. You were grateful that his back was turned because the easy smile on your lips disappeared at the reminder of him. You busied yourself with the pot of water on the stove and set it to boil.

“No, my ex never actually made dinner for me,” you answered in a poor attempt to keep your voice steady.

Nate stopped prepping the meat and turned to face you. Questions sat on the tip of his tongue, begging for him to ask, but you wouldn’t look at him. He felt a little bit angry at your confession, though he couldn’t quite place why. Admittedly, he had been that boyfriend before – the one that didn’t cook dinner. Now, he was mad at himself for ever being that guy.

When you didn’t turn to look at him, he dropped the subject. You worked in silence, you busy with the pasta and him with the chicken. As you waited for the food to be ready, you hiked yourself up onto the counter. Nate grabbed a bottle of red wine from the end of the counter and poured glasses for the both of you.

He stood across from you with a dish towel over his shoulder and his own glass of wine in his palm. He asked about work and you filled him in on all the hot office gossip. The smile on his face didn’t fall once as he listened to your stories, and he never tried to change the subject or take over the conversation for himself. After a while, you stopped.

“I’ve been talking forever.”

“Yeah, and I’ve been enjoying it,” he told you. You laughed. “I wish I could be a fly on the wall in your office.”

Feeling a bit bolder, you kicked your foot out and nudged his side. “Maybe I can take you to bring your pet to work day.”

Nate’s jaw dropped, a reaction you weren’t expecting, and you began laughing hysterically at his surprise. He placed his wine glass down beside him and took a step closer, wrapping a hand around your ankle to tug you closer to the edge of the counter. You yelped in surprise.

“Pet?” he asked. You wiggled your foot out of his grasp, giggles falling from your lips as he dropped his hand to his side. The oven started beeping, interrupting whatever moment you were having before it could continue. “Saved by the bell.”

“Looks good, Nate,” you praised as he pulled it out of the oven. “My mouth is watering.”

“Go sit down,” he ordered. “You have to evaluate my presentation and make sure I look good.”

Nate entered shortly after you sat down and placed the plates on either side of the table with a smile. He slipped back out and returned with the wine. There was mischievous glint in his eyes as he topped your glass off and added to his.

“How is it?” he asked, leaning back. A look of cockiness flashed over his features and you felt it in your stomach when you looked at the way his arms were crossed and his biceps filled out the sleeves of his t-shirt. You picked up your utensils and cut into the meal, picking up a bit of each piece before putting it in your mouth.

Nate leaned forward eagerly. He watched your eyes light up when the flavor hit your tongue and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. You nodded emphatically as you swallowed your first forkful. He cut into his own meal and the moment he took a bite, he moaned. The meal was so good that conversation was sparse and, by the end, it looked like your plates had been licked clean.

You didn’t stop Nate from filling your glasses again, though you figured you should have. The third glass always lowered your inhibitions.

“How pissed off would you be if I asked you about your ex?”

“Not pissed off,” you answered. You took a sip of the wine, then leaned your cheek in your palm as you spoke. “What do you want to know?”

Nate sat up at this, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t prepared himself with a question because he didn’t think you’d give him the go ahead. He let out a tuft of breath, took a sip from his glass, and thought. Finally, he asked, “Why’d you break up?”

“How long do you have?”

“As long as you need,” he answered. His voice was soft, comforting, and you felt yourself relax into the question.

“Honestly, I didn’t want to break up with him,” you began. “And, if I didn’t have friends like Mel and Mara, I might still be with him. Things have changed now, though. I realize what a crap human being he was but, if I stayed with him, I don’t think I would’ve realized how much better I deserved.”

“Did you fight a lot?”

“Do I seem like the fighting type?” you teased. He shook his head. “He did enough fighting for the both of us. He would yell at me for no reason sometimes, just because he felt like it.”

Nate was angry. His features were contorted in distaste as you told him about your ex. Even though you tried to make light of the situation with a few light-hearted jokes, Nate couldn’t find it within in him to react with laughter. You deserved so much better than what you’d been given.

“When I broke up with him, Mara was there. We packed my things and moved it all out. I was going to leave a note, but he came home from work early and caused a scene. He went out the night after and sent me all these videos and pictures of him out with his friends. They were flipping me off, girls were draped all over him, etcetera. I blocked him the next morning and I haven’t seen him since. That was over a year ago.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, dropping his head in his hands. He felt ashamed. “That’s why you yelled at me.”

“Yep,” you answered. “Emotions got the best of me.”

“I don’t blame you.”

Silence filled the room and you felt vulnerable. You didn’t share the story about your tumultuous relationship often, but with Nate it just slipped out. You grabbed your glass from the table and finished it off.

“I’m not staying for another,” you announced. Nate sat back, his face flashing with an offended expression. As you gathered the plates from the table, you tried to ignore the knots in your stomach that were becoming more and more prevalent when he was around. “Nothing good ever happens after the third glass. But, if I was your real date, I would definitely stay for a fourth and you would probably get to kiss me at the end of the night simply for how good that meal was.”

The words fell from your lips so easily that it shocked you and you hoped that the playful tone of your voice wouldn’t scare him off. You gathered yourself before turning back to look at him. He was still sitting at the table, chair pushed back with one arm over the back of it. The way he was looking at you was lethal, eyes drinking you in as you stood in his kitchen. You couldn’t tell if you were imagining the tension or it was real.

“Thank you for dinner,” you said finally. You grabbed your bag from the counter and pulled it over your shoulder as you headed for the door. Nate stood then to walk you out, pulling the door open as you slipped into your sneakers. “It was delicious.”

“Thank you for teaching me how to cook something actually good,” he said. “Poor girl would’ve been eating chicken and vegetables or pasta if you hadn’t come by.”

“Can’t let that happen, can we?” you asked. “Let me know how dinner goes.”

Nate leaned down, wrapping an arm around your waist to tug you into a warm embrace. You melted into his arms as yours came up and around his neck. For a moment, the two of you just stood there in each other’s arms. You wondered if he could feel the beat of your chest again him. It sped up as his hands flattened against your back, crossing over each other to engulf you completely.

“I’m not that kind of guy,” he said. He leaned his cheek on the top of your head and his chest rumbled beneath your own cheek as he spoke. “You know that, right?”

Your blinked away tears before he couldn’t notice then and nodded in response to his question.

When he pulled back, he leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek and his lips caught the corner of your mouth. An electric shock coursed through your bloodstream and you pulled back quick before offering one last smile and tossing a goodbye over your shoulder.

---

Nate called you the next Friday night with plans for Saturday.

“Mel and Gabe invited a bunch of the guys over and she told me I should see what you were doing tomorrow.” he said. “I feel like I haven’t talked to you much since last week. The guys would love to meet you.”

“Meet me?” you asked. “So, it’ll be more than just the ones I know?”

“A few more,” he answered with a laugh. “They’ll love you, okay? I’ll be at your place to get you at 5:30.”

It was the first time you were going to see him since you made dinner together last Friday. You exchanged a few texts throughout the week, but nothing of substance. You knew his dinner date went well, though you didn’t know to what extent. You found yourself wondering if she stayed for that additional glass of wine after dinner, or if she stayed for the night after.

He showed up to your apartment wearing a white dress shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. You welcomed him in while you went back to your room to get your heels on. He gaped at the dress you were wearing as soon as you had your back to him. His eyes wandered over your curves as you bent to grab your heels from the floor in your bedroom. When your dress slid up your thighs, he had to force himself to look away.

You tried to get more details about his dinner date out of him on the way to Mel’s, but he kept quiet. She liked dinner, she stayed for an extra glass of wine, and then she went home at the end of the night. An invisible weight lifted from your shoulders upon hearing she didn’t stay the night and you settled back into his passenger seat.

Nate noticed the way you relaxed into the seat and tore his eyes from the road for just a moment to sneak a peek at you. You were watching the world go by from the window, unaware that he was even looking at you. When he turned his attention back to the road, all he could think about was his sweaty palms and accelerated heartrate. Why did he care so much about what you thought?

Everyone was already at the house when you pulled up. The two of you walked up the driveway, his hand against your lower back much like it had been in the florist. Mel opened the door, lunging to sweep you into her arms and whisk you to the kitchen, her husband and your, well, Nate left behind.

“Thanks for having me, Mel.”

She handed you a drink complete with a salted rim and said, “I’m glad Nate asked if you could come.”

“Nate asked?” you repeated. She affirmed with a nod and ushered you to join the others in the living room while she and Gabe finished dinner.

You swore half the team was there, which meant not one seat was open on their couch. As you passed Nate, he grabbed your hand and sat you on the arm of his chair. He pulled your legs over his lap and began introducing you to the boys you didn’t already know.

You caught Cale’s eyes and felt heat rise to your cheeks. Out of everyone in the room, he was the only one making note of the lack of space between you two. Though you weren’t technically sitting in his lap, it still felt a little inappropriate. Nate’s hand was like fire where it rested against your thigh and you had to remind yourself to stop peeking at the placement.

Nate lied about your invitation to dinner, and for what? He could’ve just invited you himself instead of disguising it as a joint decision between him and Mel. What was he so afraid of that he couldn’t man up and admit he wanted you there? Better yet, why didn’t he ask Gianna?

You somehow ended up seated away from Nate at the dinner table. Cale settled in on one side of you and EJ occupied the other. Across from you sat JT and Tyson, bickering as always. You don’t know how you ended up separated from Nate, but you welcomed it because you needed the breathing room.

The meal was delicious, but Nate couldn’t even enjoy it because you were so far away. He was going to get fucking whiplash because of the way he kept looking back to see who you were talking to or hear what you were laughing at. How did he even end up this far down from you?

On the other hand, he couldn’t stop the smile that kept creeping up to his lips when he saw you with his teammates. They loved you, probably almost as much as he did, and he was proud to have you by his side that night. But then came the harsh reality that you weren’t actually his to show off.

When the party relocated, he made sure to slide up next to you on the way to the couch. EJ’s laughter mocked him, but you didn’t catch on to his teammate’s playful ribbing. With Gabe and Mel’s eyes in the room, he didn’t pull you over his lap and opted to lower his arm over the back of the couch instead. There were just inches between your skin and his but, after having you on his lap earlier, it felt like miles.

Drinking games were played, stories were shared, and you all left the house with full bellies and large smiles. Nate was driving, so he eased up on the drinks after dinner. You, on the other hand, were feeling just as free as you did after three glasses of wine at his place last week, and feeling daring enough to ask him the question that’s been on your mind all night.

“Why did you tell me that Mel asked you to invite me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you invited me, you said that Mel told you to,” you explained in a slow voice as if you were breaking the situation down to a child. “But she said that you asked if you could invite me.”

“Why does it matter where the invite actually came from?” he asked. A slight panic was rising in his chest because he didn’t have an answer for you. This wasn’t supposed to come back around to you. “Everybody wanted you here anyway.”

“Why didn’t you ask Gianna?” you asked, stepping down to join him on the path to the driveway. He rolled his eyes at this, and you noted it because though you’d done it to him many times, he’d never done it to you. He began walking, so you followed. “Are you going to answer my question?”

“Because I didn’t want to introduce her to everyone yet,” he answered. “You just fit in with us.”

Nate saw your face fall and decided not to push the conversation any farther. He said something wrong, but he didn’t know what. As far as he thought, he was complimenting you. He was complimenting how easy going you were, how his friends got along with you so easily. You were already a part of the group. It was great.

You continued along to the car in silence, not bothering to argue with him over a dumb comment. He wanted friends, so you were giving him friends, but the touches and the invite to team dinner was something more than friends. You needed distance. And he needed to figure his shit out, fast.

---

Lesson #3: Meeting the Friends

Something changed. When Nate dropped you off that night, he left you with a half-assed hug and a quiet goodbye. You couldn’t catch a wink of sleep that night because something changed. But then, Nate texted you tomorrow and tried to carry on as normal. Things weren’t normal.

And you knew that for sure when Nate didn’t invite you to EJ’s house the next weekend. Mel invited you instead and since you could never say no to Mel, you went. The thought of texting Nate to let him know passed briefly through your head, but the sheer fact that he hadn’t even bothered to talk to you about it in the first place was enough to decide against it.

When you entered EJ’s living room, you knew exactly why he hadn’t asked. Gianna was sitting on his lap, fingers curling through his hair as they talked. Anger rose in you no matter how hard you tried to suppress it. Just last week he said he didn’t want to bring her around and now she was here? Now she was here and he couldn’t even talk to you?

There was an uproar as Nate’s teammates noticed you standing in the doorway and Nate’s eyes cut to you in surprise. You lifted your hand in a pathetic wave before Cale was wrapping his arm around your shoulders and leading you to the kitchen.

“Who’s the girl with Nate?”

“His new girlfriend,” you answered, hoping that you didn’t sound bitter. “I don’t even know if that’s the right title for her, but they’ve been on a few dates.”

Cale let out a soft hum, his tone indecipherable, just as Tyson entered the room.

“What’s the deal with Nate’s new girl?” he asked as soon as he saw it was just you and Cale in the room. When you didn’t answer, he nudged you for an answer.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“Well, she’s no you.”

---

Nate couldn’t help but ask himself, “What the fuck are you doing?”

As you were pulled into his teammates arms, he watched and couldn’t decide whether he wanted to get up and hug you too or if he just wanted to disappear. When Gianna’s fingers gripped his bicep, he decided he wanted the latter.

That’s when you looked at him, of course, and the smile that was on yours lips faded just a bit. At least, that’s what he thought. You lifted your hand in a wave before Cale was looping his arm around your shoulders and directing you towards the kitchen.

“Who was that?” Gianna asked, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck.

He looked up at her with a simple answer. “One of our friends.”

Gianna kissed him and for the first time since he met you, Nate thought about what it would be like to kiss you instead. He brought her to EJ’s in a pathetic attempt to right the way he was feeling about you, but it only made it worse.

---

“Nate was weird last night,” Mel murmured after Cycle the next morning. You were waiting for her to say something. Since all the guys made comments the night before, you knew Mel was next. “Did you guys fight?”

“Fight? Me and Nate?” you repeated, stalling for time. “We didn’t fight.”

“What did you think of his girlfriend?”

“I actually didn’t get to talk to her,” you answered. You shrugged, giving the illusion that you didn’t care all that much even though you were fuming. After all the help you’d given him, he couldn’t be bothered to introduce you to her? And that wasn’t all. He hardly spoke to you all night, only entertaining conversations with you when someone else was around. You ended up spending most of the night with EJ.

“My sitter just bailed for tomorrow.” She’d been tapping away at her phone for a few minutes, no doubt panicking to Gabe. You watched her a moment longer as you wondered what her plans were for the next day. Then, it occurred to you.

“There’s a game tomorrow, right?” you asked. She nodded, still typing out messages to whoever was on the other end of the phone. “I can watch Linnea tomorrow. Don’t worry about finding a sitter.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.” She waved you off absentmindedly and continued talking, “Besides, I thought Nate had a ticket for you or something. Didn’t he ask you to go?”

“Tomorrow?” you said incredulously. “No, absolutely not. Isn’t it like a WAG game? It would make no sense for me to be there.”

“Oh,” she murmured. “I just thought that he told Gabe,” she paused and noticed your set jaw. You were clearly not Nate’s biggest fan at the moment, so she decided to tread carefully. “You know what? Nevermind. I would love it if you could watch Linnea.”

---

As expected, Linnea was an angel the next day. You spent the time lounging in their living room with the game on TV while you played together. She took a bottle in the middle of the game and you brought her to her nursery once she’d been burped to rock her to sleep. But, you couldn’t quite peel yourself from the chair to put her in her crib. She was sleeping so peacefully and for the first time in a while you felt calm, so you stayed with her in your arms long after she’d fallen asleep.

You didn’t know what time it was when Gabe and Mel got home, but you heard their car doors close. You waited for them to happen upon you in the nursery, so you were surprised when it was Nate that knocked at the door.

“Hi,” he whispered, stepping into the room. He studied the decorations as he approached the rocking chair you were sitting in. When he stepped up beside you and admired Linnea, you tried not to look up at him. You knew it wouldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach, but you did it anyway. He was smiling down at the peanut in your arms. “Mel and Gabe are in the kitchen. They saw you on the baby monitor and told me to come get you.”

“Okay, I’ll put her down and meet you in there.”

“I can wait for you,” he said, stepping away. You stood, cradling Linnea to the crib and then craning to put her down in the center. Nate was watching you intently from the doorway with an unreadable expression on his face.

He stepped out into the hallway first, but he wasn’t walking towards the kitchen. He stood, waiting for you to stepped out into the hallway and look at him. You gave him a half-assed smile, still feeling a little hurt that things had been so weird between you two, and he asked, “Are we okay?”

“We’re fine,” you answered. He wasn’t convinced, but you reached up and shoved him lightly to get him to move down the hall. He didn’t budge, hand coming up to grasp yours against his chest. The beating of his heart sat right at your fingertips. “How was your game?”

“It was good,” he answered. “I wish you were there.”

“Well, then, you should’ve asked me to come,” you said, quite boldly. His lips parted, but whether it was to speak or not you wouldn’t know because you were continuing down the hallway without him.

You slipped into the kitchen to find Mel, leaving the men on the couch in the living room. The moment you stepped in, she was turning to greet you with a smile. You hissed, “Are you behind this?”

“I mentioned you were babysitting, his eyes lit up, and Gabe was the one to invite him over.”

“Team effort?”

She feigned an apologetic smile before ushering you out to rejoin the boys. Gabe got the fire going and Mel curled in his chest once he settled back on the couch. You sat on the other end, legs extended towards Nate in the corner. You felt his eyes whenever there was a suspended silence. You knew he was thinking about you, and selfishly you relished in the attention.

“YN, did you know that Nate’s parents were visiting next weekend?” Gabe asked during a lull in conversation. Nate glared at him, but the Swede happily ignored his buddy at the center of the couch. His eyes cut to you.

“I didn’t,” you answered. “But that’ll be fun. I know how much you missed them.”

All he could offer was a stupid ‘yeah’ before Mel swooped in to save the entire group from a very awkward moment.

Nate was going to kill Gabe. He was going to kill Gabe, but first he had to make a decision. He knew exactly what he had to do. It felt like you were a thousand miles away, not only physically but emotionally. Gabe should’ve kept his mouth shut. He was going to have you meet his parents, he just hadn’t gotten the chance to ask. Now, he looked like a dick. You couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“I was going to tell you about my parents,” he said, practically chasing you down the driveway after you ducked out while he was in the bathroom. To his surprise, you stopped walking and waited for him to catch up. “Seriously.”

“It’s getting hard to believe that, Nate,” you said. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head.”

Nate felt his heart sink. He began to rack his brain for a way to salvage the conversation, but it was too late by the time you reached your car. You stopped before opening the door to look up at him.

“You’re thinking too much.”

“I just—I know you’re upset with me,” he began. “I want to make it better. We haven’t really talked since EJ’s, and that’s on me.”

“Were you going to invite me today?” you asked. He gave you a curious look. “To the game. Mel mentioned something about it at Cycle. That you told Gabe you were thinking about giving your ticket to me.”

Nate ran his hand over his face. The Landeskogs had really gotten him into some trouble here, and he wasn’t sure it was accidental.

“You’re the one I wanted at the game,” he admitted. “I wanted to invite you, but I knew how bad it would look if I didn’t ask Gianna.”

“So, you invited her,” you concluded.

“No.”

You looked at him in shock, mouth agape, and asked, “You’d rather no one go than give the ticket to her?”

“Well, when you put it that way,” he grumbled. You threw your arms up in surrender, hoping the words would sink in. “I don’t know, YN.”

“Yes, you do,” you argued. He kept his mouth shut at that, knowing you had enough. You sighed heavily, allowing the conversation to roll off your back. “When are your parents going to be here?”

“Saturday morning.”

“What are you planning to do?”

“They’ll be at my game in the afternoon and then I was getting us a reservation for dinner,” he trailed off only momentarily. “I haven’t made it yet because I was going to invite you, but Gabe beat me to the punch in there.”

“What about Gianna?”

“YN, if I didn’t want her at my game, why would I want her to meet my parents?” he asked. He made it sound like you were asking the stupidest question in the world. But, he wasn’t answering the most important one. Was he breaking up with her? You wanted to ask, but part of you didn’t want the disappointment. He worried while you thought.

“I’m around on Saturday,” you answered. He smiled, and you forced one back. You hated the feeling between you two. The air between you had never been so stuffy and you wanted to clear it. “Anything else you wanna tell me before the Landeskogs do? Is Sid actually your long-distance girlfriend?”

Nate laughed loudly as he stepped away. He answered your question cryptically, “No, nothing to tell you right now. Not yet.”

---

Lesson #4: Meeting the Family

You planned to meet Nate at his apartment before dinner since his parents had gone to the hotel upon arrival. On the way, you picked up a box of pastries from your favorite bakery. You were taught to do little things for important people, and anyone who was important to Nate felt important to you. You tried not to think about the implications of having dinner with his parents, but it was hard to shake the nerves.

“What’s this?” he asked as soon as he opened the door. His finger slid over the logo on the top of the pastry box, eyes catching on the word bakery. When he looked up at you, his eyes were shining. “For me?”

“For your family,” you told him. “Don’t get any ideas.”

“I thought maybe you heard about my break up and you were trying to comfort me,” he said like it wasn’t breaking news. “I’ll put these in the kitchen.”

“You broke up?” you asked, following him to the kitchen. You stopped in the doorway as he put the pastries on the counter. He nodded simply as he cleared some clutter from the countertop. You could see his muscles moving beneath his navy polo. Guiltily, you couldn’t stop yourself from admiring the way the sleeves hugged his biceps or the wide expanse of his back and shoulders. “What happened, Nate?”

“We can talk about it later, alright?”

“Are you single or not?” you asked. Nate caught the frustration in your tone and he’d be lying if it didn’t make him want to kiss you right then. You needed to know what was going on with him, and that made him feel good about whatever was going on between you two.

Nate started to exit the kitchen, but stopped in the doorway beside you. You were crowded against his chest as he smiled down at you and answered, “Yeah, I’m single.”

You released a breath once he stepped out of the doorway. He slipped his shoes on while you stood nearly the front door. He caught the look on your face, a little scrunched up as you spaced out. You were thinking too much, worrying about what happened with him and Gianna. When he walked back over to the front door, he took you by the hips and said, “We can talk about it later, if you want. Right now, I just want to be with you and my family.”

---

“I’m nervous,” you admitted as Nate pulled up to valet outside the restaurant. He looked at you in shock. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not gonna make fun of you,” he promised. He reached over and dropped his hand to your thigh. You pouted at him, and his first instinct was to lean over the center console and kiss it off your lips. He knew better than to risk it all just before dinner, so he grabbed your hand and dropped a kiss to your palm instead. “You’ll be fine. No need to be nervous.”

A heavy sigh left your lips as he stepped out of the car. He rounded the front and opened the passenger door for you, grabbing your hand as you stepped out. After he handed his key to the valet, he laced his hands in yours and led you into the restaurant.

The MacKinnons were already at the table that had been reserved for them. There was uproar of cheers when they saw Nate walk in. You stole a peek at his face and the pure joy on it set your heart aflame. He dropped your hand as you approached the table to hug his parents and sister. They introduced themselves to you as well, sweeping you up in tight embraces like they had with Nate.

“It’s great to finally meet you,” they spoke as they hugged you.

Nate pulled your chair out from across his mother and then situated himself beside you. The menus were passed out and Nate whispered suggestions in your ear while his family members debated their own meals. She took the time to calm her nervous. Parents loved her, so there was no reason to freak out. Eventually the drinks were handed out, orders were taken, and the chaos at the table stopped.

“Now, how’d you two meet again?” his mom asked. You looked at each other, stupidly, both stammering in response until Nate got his shit together.

“We met through friends,” he answered simply. Then, his lips curled up and he said, “She yelled at me.” You dropped your face into your hands, embarrassed by the picture he was painting of you, but they took it in stride, laughing at your expression. “It wasn’t that bad.”

He continued, “As you guys know, I’ve been very unlucky in my personal life.” Sarah snorted at this. Their mother smacked her knee as a scolding. “I literally suck at being romantic and all the guys were joking around about it after I’d just been broken up with. YN called me out, so I asked her to teach me how to be romantic.”

“Well, what’d you learn?”

“How to cook a meal other than my pregame types, and I also have a new favorite florist,” he said. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet and flipped it open to slip out their business card. You didn’t realize he grabbed one. “There are some other things, like her wine rule.”

“Wine rule?”

“Nothing good ever happens after the third glass of wine,” you explained. They laughed at that, though they seemed bewildered by your reasoning.

Nate elaborated, “It just means that if your date stays for a fourth glass, you’ll probably get lucky.”

This earned him a smack on the arm from both his sister and yourself.

Nate’s family was just as kind as he was and it was clear how much they all adored each other. You fit in seamlessly, at least that’s how it felt, and when they asked the waitress to take a picture of them, Nate tugged you into his side to keep you in the frame.

“Take one without me,” you urged him. He just shook his head, gazing down at the picture on his phone. He passed it off to his parents and sister for approval. “Nate.”

“I want you in the picture,” he whispered to you. His hand came up to the back of your neck and he pulled you in to place a chaste kiss to your temple. He pulled away, like kissing you in public and on the forehead was normal now, and asked, “How was your food?”

When you got back to his place after dinner, you presented his mother with the pastries and earned a hug and kiss on the cheek as a thank you. They settled into the kitchen as he made drinks, chatting as a family about the people back home and his life in Denver. You slipped out to go to the bathroom, and give them some alone time.

“I like her,” you overheard his mother say as soon as you slipped out of the kitchen. You slowed your steps on your pursuit to the bathroom even though you knew it would be best to keep walking. You couldn’t help but be a little nosy.

“That’s good to hear,” Nate said. You smiled to yourself. “I like her, too.”

---

Nate’s family only stayed for another hour before you were bidding them farewell from his front door. They squeezed you and thanked you for the pastries, and then began inviting you to visit before Nate had to shut it down. Your heart felt full after spending the night with them, but sitting alone in Nate’s apartment in anticipation of what was to come was scaring the shit out of you.

Your hands were a little shaky and your palms were definitely sweaty. There was change coming, change that was already present, and you were both excited and terrified for it. Nate reentered the apartment not long after. When he saw you sitting on the couch, he released a breath he’d been holding.

“Are you going to stay for another glass?” he asked after locking the door behind him. “That one’s only your second.”

You eyed his smile, heart beat stuttering a bit beneath his gaze, and lifted the glass to your lips to finished what was left. You nodded and followed him into the kitchen. While he filled both your glass and his, you picked yourself up onto the counter like you’d done so many times before.

“I did a bad thing,” he murmured after handing your glass back to you. You raised a brow at him as he reached over to one of the cabinets and opened it to reveal two pastries in a Ziploc bag. “I stole two of them from my mom.”

“Nate!” you exclaimed. He chuckled at your exasperation. “I can bring you to that bakery whenever you want! Your parents don’t live here! It was a gift!”

“And they have the other eleven pastries,” he argued. “They’re not going to miss two.”

Reluctantly, but still with a smile, you took a pastry from his hand. You bit into it at the same time, eyes lighting up at the taste. At the sight of each other’s faces, you were doubled over in laughter before you had the chance to swallow what was in your mouth. You looked away from him to regain composure and only looked back when you were sure you wouldn’t choke.

“Those were fucking good.”

“Only the best for your mom.”

“Thank you,” he spoke. “For the pastries and for hanging out with my family today. I’m sure you had other things to do, but it meant a lot. They’ve been hearing a lot about you.”

“I had a lot of fun with them,” you said. His smile was soft, shy even, and he watched you carefully as you sipped from the glass in your hand. “It was nice to meet the people who made you who you are.”

“Wait until you meet Sid.”

You decided to move from the kitchen to the living room in favor of more comfortable seating. He reached his hand out behind his back, and you linked your fingers with his lazily so he could lead you to the couch. You slowed to a stop as he sat down, legs spread to pull you between them. Your hesitation caused a look of confusion to flash over his features.

“Can you tell me what’s going on inside your head now?” you asked, placing your glass down on the table beside the arm of the couch. He followed suit, then placed his hand delicately at your hip to urge you closer.

“Sure, I can,” he answered. He pulled you into his lap. You looped her arms around his shoulders as he flattened one hand against your back and curled the other around your thigh. “I don’t want to waste those romance rules on someone I don’t really like all that much.”

“You really didn’t like her?” you asked meekly. Of fucking course he didn’t like her, you were thinking. You were in his lap, not her, but you still couldn’t wrap your head around it. “Why?”

“The only reason I looked forward to going on dates with her was because I got to spend time with you before,” he confessed. You felt it all through your body. “I broke up with her the morning after we were at Gabe’s together. After you called me out on my bullshit, I knew I was being stupid.”

“Why me, though?”

“Because you deserve the world and I want to be the one to give it to you.”

It was only natural for you to lean in and capture his lips with yours. After all this time spent waiting and beating around the bush, you didn’t want to wait a second more. It was passionate, and new, and exciting. His hands held you close while your fingers curled into the back of his hair, but he wasn’t close enough.  

You swung your leg over to straddle him, not caring that you were wearing a dress with just panties underneath. His hands flew to your hips as you grinded against him. You gasped against his lips at the friction as he held you tighter, teeth nipping at your bottom lip until you covered his mouth with yours again. He guided your hips to grind against him once more, but you braced your hands against his chest to push away.

“I’m not staying for a fourth glass,” you said breathlessly. He smiled up at you, eyes falling to your lips that were red and plump from kissing him. Kissing him! He leaned in, tongue swiping along his bottom lip, and pulled you down by the back of the neck.

He murmured through his kisses, “You didn’t even finish your third.”

At the challenge in his voice, you reached over for the glass on the side table and finished what was left. He held you close, laughing against the crook of your neck. You giggled along with him until you felt his lips against your skin again and a gasp fell from your lips.

“You gotta leave before I pour number four,” he warned, breath ghosting over your neck. He kissed your neck again, this time sucking lightly enough to earn a strangled moan. You pushed back against his chest and stood, flustered as you adjusted your dress and your hair. Nate couldn’t help but smile as he watched you cross the room for your purse. He grabbed a pillow and held it over his lap to hide his hard-on.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked as you put your heels on the end of the couch. He was admiring your flushed cheeks and your wild hair as you busied yourself. You fastened the strap on each heel before looking back at him. It took everything in you to not go back over there and unbutton the rest of his shirt.

“Nothing,” you answered as you stood. He followed suit, adjusting his dress pants just a bit so he was comfortable and making you giggle in the process. He stepped up beside you and pulled you against him again. He placed one, two, three kisses against your neck then your jaw then your lips.

“Let me make you dinner.”

---

Nate wasn’t going to be able to keep his hands to himself. He knew that the second you walked out of your room in that little black dress, but he was really trying to be on his best behavior. It was technically only your first date and he wanted to impress you. You just weren’t helping very much. As soon as you were in his car, you were grabbing his hand and lacing it with yours to drop them into your lap.

He was a little nervous that he wasn’t going to be able to pull this off. He was sure that he’d fuck up somewhere and you’d go running. And, truthfully, you could tell that he was overthinking every little thing he did. The tension in his shoulders as he moved about the kitchen to prepare everything for dinner was clear.

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked.

He gave you the most pathetic shrug and shake of the head as he tried to wave off your concern with a soft, “Nothing.”

“That’s a lie,” you called him out. “You look stressed.”

“I mean, I am a little stressed,” he admitted, diverting his eyes from yours as he headed over to the fridge. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Before he knew it, you were standing between him and the refrigerator. You flattened your hands against his chest and slid them up until your hands were linked behind his neck. A slight tug on him was enough to get him to kiss you. He finally relaxed, arms dropping from the refrigerator door to grip your hips.

“You’re not going to fuck this up.”

“I don’t have a very good track record.”

“You do with me,” you said softly. He looked skeptical, not quite understanding what you meant, so you pressed against him as his arms enveloped you. “You gave me a sunflower the third time we were ever around each other. You’ve cooked me dinner already. Sure, it was under different circumstances, but it counts. Nate, you know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t overthink it.”

“Go sit,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You managed to calm his nerves better than anyone he’d ever known in a matter of seconds. “I’ll plate dinner and then I have to grab something for you, okay?”

Nate entered the dining room a minute later, placing both plates down across from each other before disappearing to grab wine glasses and another bottle of wine. Then, he was off down the hall to his bedroom. Your eyes followed him curiously, wondering what else he could possibly have up his sleeve. He’d already impressed you enough by cooking a meal you didn’t teach him.

“Oh, wow,” you breathed out when he appeared in the hallway with a bouquet of flowers. “Nate.”

“For you.”

You stood to take them from his hands and kiss him in thanks. When you pulled away, your fingers danced along the petals of the roses tucked between the sunflowers and baby’s breath Nate had grown to love too.

---

You filled your glass for a fourth time as inconspicuously as possible after your last bite of dinner, but Nate caught your eye over the bottle as you poured and you knew he knew what you were doing. He tried to stifle his smile unsuccessfully, picking up his own glass to cover it. One sip and his third glass was done.

“More?” you asked, extending the bottle in his direction.

“Four glasses?” he teased. “What do you take me for?”

“Okay, more for me then.”

Your voice was low, eyes dark as they settled on him, and suddenly he was lunging forward to grab the bottle and pour another glass for himself. Your giggles filled the room. He wanted them to echo off his walls forever.

“I want to take a picture with you,” he said. You gave him a curious look, though your stomach was doing cartwheels at the suggestion. “I keep thinking about your empty picture frame and I want you to have something to put in it.”

“We can take a selfie,” you suggested. He was quick to shake his head, pushing away from the table to take your hand and lead you to the patio. He pulled the phone from his back pocket and set it up against the couch. He removed the glass from your hand to place it out of view of the camera.

“Now, this is quite the set up,” you murmured as he moved furniture out of the way so there was ample space to take the photo. Denver’s city lights were sure to be the perfect backdrop and having Nate beside you wasn’t too bad either.

“Well, it has to be perfect if it’s going in your office.”

“How do you know I’ll even want to put it in the frame?” you asked. Nate pressed the timer and turned to walk back at you, smirk on his lips. You were teasing him, but you were playing innocent with those doe eyes. He curled around you, arms pulling your back against his chest to pose for the picture.

“After tonight, I’m sure you will,” he murmured in your ear. “Smile.”

The audacity of a man who tells you to smile after igniting your entire body in goosebumps.

The camera went off in a sequence, five pictures for the one timer. You smiled twice before he reached up to turn your face to his for a kiss. The sound of the shutter had you pulling away from his lips with a giggle. He smiled down at you for the next photo as laughter spilled from your lips, and then he was kissing you again.

When you finally pulled away from him, all giggly and handsy, Nate dragged you along with him to his phone. He curled around you as he flipped through the photos, each one cuter than the one before.

“Are you saying you wouldn’t put that in your office?” he asked. His breath tickled the back of your neck. You were just trying to tease him before, but with the lack of space between you and the way he was looking at you in these photos, you just couldn’t tease him anymore. His fingers trailed up your arms, goosebumps rising in their wake once again.

“How’s that fourth glass of wine treating you?” you asked. Nate tucked the phone in his back pocket as you turned to face him. His hands were on you once they were free, curling over the curve of your ass.

“I shouldn’t have let you talk me into it,” he murmured against your lips. “I’m trying to be good, but it’s impossible to keep my hands to myself.”

“What if I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself?” you against, arching your body to press against him. You could feel him hard against your hip and knew you had him exactly where you wanted him. You pressed your lips to his and, as you pulled away, you took his bottom lip between your teeth and sucked on it.

A growl ripped through his chest as he lifted you into his arms. Your legs came to wrap around his waist as he carried you into the apartment and slammed the patio door shut behind him. He dropped you onto the bed, one hand coming to tug you towards the end by the ankle. His hands spread your legs so he could step between them and they slid up your thigh, pushing your dress up as they went.

“You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to do this,” he murmured in your ear as his hands reached your hip, dress bunching around his wrists and revealing your lace panties to him. “Stealing touches in a crowded room just doesn’t compare.”

You lifted your arms as he guided the dress over your body and tossed it to the floor. At the sight of your match set, Nate pushed you up the bed and crawled over you. He peppered kisses along your skin from your collarbone to your chest. He worked his way down your stomach until reaching the top of your underwear. In on swift movement, your thong was on the floor and he was spreading your legs.

“So pretty,” he murmured, fingers spreading your folds. You moaned out as he slipped his finger in. “You like my fingers in your pussy, baby?” You could only manage to nod because he’d already slipped a second finger in. He curled them while he pressed a kiss against your inner thigh. “How about my tongue?”

Nate licked a stripe up your center and you gasped, hands flying down to curl into his hair as he continued to eat you out. He sucked on your pussy, continuing to thrust his fingers into and curl. He dragged moans out of you, obscene words dripped from your lips, and the filthy sound of his tongue filled the room.

“You taste so good.”

You tried to grind against face for some more friction, but he held your hips down and continued. You whined, tugging his hair and arching your back as he brought you to orgasm.

“Nate, I’m gonna cu—” you moaned, toes curling at the feet of his lips around you. Suddenly, cool air shocked your core and your orgasm retreated. You sighed as your whole body sank into the bed at the absence of stimulation. Nate crawled up your buddy, licking a stripe up your neck before attaching his lips to yours.

“Sorry, baby,” he said. He nudged your knees apart and situated himself between them, hand falling to his dick as he lined it up with your entrance. “I just need you to cum on my cock.” You moaned as he pushed his head between your folds. “YN, as long as you’re mine, I’ll never make you feel like you don’t deserve all the most romantic things.”

You answered with a moan as he bottomed out inside you. He watched your face as you adjusted to his size and smiled as you whimpered, pulling your teeth between your lips. You felt so good around him and as he began to pull out and thrust in again, your nails dug into his biceps.

You knew he was trying to take his time, but you could hardly take it. As far as you were concerned, Nate would have all the time in the world to take it slow with you. Tonight was not that night.

“Fuck me harder.”

When you sounded like that beneath him, how could he say no? His previously slow and calculated thrusts became sloppy at your request. He relished in the sound of your moaning and the way you called his name like a prayer. You were unraveling beneath him and he wanted to get you there. He adjusted your leg over his shoulder so he could hit a new angle.

“Come on, baby,” he moaned against your lips. “I wanna see you cum for me.”

He reached down and placed his thumb against your clit, rubbing in circles as he pumped into you. You screamed out and your body arched as your orgasm ripped through you. Nate pumped into you a few moments more as he chased his high while listening to your whimpers. He spilled out into his condom as a string of curses left his lips, then collapsed onto of you to catch his breath.

Your fingers immediately found his hair as your breathing evened out together. His body was hot on yours and a sheen of sweat covered both of you. Nate’s fingers curled around your waist and into your skin, squeezing you like he needed to get closer but couldn’t. Finally, he pulled out of you and sat back on his knees.

“You’re so beautiful,” he sighed, hands rubbing up your stomach to cup your breasts. You shivered at his touch. “I never want to leave this bed.”

“Not even for shower sex?”

“Okay, maybe for shower sex,” he murmured. He picked you up, tossing you over his shoulder to carry you to the bathroom.

---

A few hours (and orgasms later), you were clothed in Nate’s sweats and t-shirt and waiting for him beneath the covers in bed. He was cleaning up the glasses you left on the patio and running the dishwasher, though he was quick to finish it up and return to you. You looked so cute propped up against the headboard that he couldn’t stop smiling as he got ready for bed. He pulled on a pair of sweats, but remained topless as he slid under the covers. Instead of pulling you down to rest on his chest, he dropped his head onto your stomach and pulled you tightly to him. Your fingers carded through his hair.

“Thank you for tonight, Nate,” you spoke. “This was the best first date I’ve ever been on.”

“I’m counting this as our fourth date,” he responded. You laughed at him, slapping his bicep lightly at his teasing. “Let’s be honest, I was trying to impress you this entire time anyway.”

“Consider me impressed.”

Nate pulled you down to eye level with him, heads on your respective pillows, and then turned to shut the lamp off beside him. When he turned back, he pulled you against his chest. With your ear to his chest, you listened to his heartbeat and his breathing as it evened out. His fingers scratched your back ever-so-slightly as if soothing you to sleep.

“Are you happy?” he asked. You looked up at him with a curious gaze. Could he not tell how happy you were?

“Of course, I am,” you answered. “Are you?”

“How could I not be?” he asked. “You’re so far out of my league.”

“No, I’m not,” you groaned. You covered your blushing face with your hands at his words, hoping that he couldn’t feel the beat of your heart. Nate was quick to tug them down, holding them against his own chest. He didn’t care if you felt how hard his heart was beating. In fact, he wanted you to know. He wanted you to know the effect you had on him.

“You feel my heart, right?” he asked. You nodded. “You did that. You do that to me every single time I’m around you.” Your eyes began to water and you tried to pull your hand away from his to wipe the water pooling in the corner. Nate grabbed both your hands with one of his and wiped it with his own thumb. “I’ll never let you go to bed thinking I don’t love you. I’m going to shower you with flowers from our favorite florist and buy you pastries from that little shop you like, and I’ll never make you feel like you need to stifle yourself and who you are on account of me.”

“Nate.”

“Just listen to me, alright?” he asked, voice soft. You nodded. “Your ex stuffed you down and he didn’t appreciate you. That’ll never happen with me, and if you feel like it is, you need to tell me, just like you did when we first met.”

You tried to stammer through some type of coherent response, but words failed, so you kissed him. His arms wrapped around your waist to pull you flush against him and your legs intertwined. He was intoxicating, you couldn’t get enough, but he felt just the same. He wondered how anyone had let you go before and simultaneously thanked them for the gift that was you.

That night, Nate vowed he’d never let you go to bed unhappy and he’d never let you feel any less than perfect. He waited forever for a partner like you, honest and kind, and he finally had it in his hands, in his bed. And you promised that you’d never love anyone as much as you loved him. You just knew it.

[putseraphinaonthaphone]

F.M.$. | Closet Perv HCs

/tw/dark content, dubcon, cuckolding, degradation, incest, voyeurism, exhibition,

Put yo ass, on my dick..

and pose on tha shit.

Tamaki

many people confused his dislike of public speaking with meekness

social anxiety did not stop your boyfriend from fucking you in front of his two best friends

they both watched his beloved little sister grow up a few years after them, so it was only fair they got to see how big you'd gotten

"She can take all of you?" Neijire asks, knowing first hand how big Tamaki feels inside you, watching as he has you splayed out on his bed with his hands planted firmly on your hips so he can push his cock into you inch by inch in a relentless slide

not only was he long but he was thick and curved just right to make you lose your mind behind your gag (your slick panties he crammed in your mouth when you tried to tell him it didn't turn you on to get fucked in front of his friends) every time he bottomed out inside you, his heavy balls slapping against your ass- a requirement he'd given you once you'd turned 19

"After training her every weekend of her second year at UA? Yeah, my little princess can take every, inch, of her big brother's attention."

He grinned at the way your eyes crossed every time he used your favorite toy on your clit while he just kept you stuffed full of him, liking the way you trembled and clenched around his cock while you came again and again and again...

"Takes a while to warm her up for anything fun though." By 'fun' he meant throwing your ankles over his shoulders and pounding into you with enough force that you pulled the most sinful ahegao face every time his balls slapped against your ass

It always made you squirt and babble mindlessly, a mess of his name and pleas for more, for him to let you take a break, anything

But the next day he blushed bright red when you brought him his lunch at school

Shouto

he really didn't like having to guess what you really thought, even though it was your shyness that drew him to you in the first place, because guessing meant you might be hurt in someway and he wouldn't know

so after consulting Bakugou, Kirishima, and Midoriya on how they would get a shy partner to open up, you're bound and gagged and sat on his lap with his almost painfully thick shaft splitting you open

you're both at his desk, and he's going down a list of questions about hard and soft limits, preferences, kinks, anything else he can think of, and taking notes on how your pussy reacts

"Do you wish to be in control in our love making? It may seem redundant considering how you haven't stop gripping me since I got you like this, but I want to be thorough."

you hate that you can't stop your pussy from quivering around him when he asks if you like to be degraded, and with a carefully written note in the journal he has open in front of you both he murmurs almost too politely, "It's alright. It won't be hard to point out how slutty you are darling, you've been soaking my jeans for the past half hour."

and so it continues, until you've soaked the soft silk scarf gagging you in tears of frustration. you don't want to answer more questions you want to get fucked

but Sho tells you time and time again, "we're done when I say we're done."

and every question gets answered before he closes his journal, just like he promised.

but then you're bent over his desk being fucked within an inch of your life by a man who now knows every filthy kink and button to press to make you cream on his cock

"Come on baby, squeeze daddy's cock, fuck just like that-"

And when you cum with a cry of "Daddy!" he's filling you up deep and hard so that you have a limp to go with the cum staining your thigh highs

Izuku

it wasn't fair to your boyfriend

who'd made you promise so many times while you were dating that you wanted him and not his boss

who you'd told honestly time and time again that Deku wasn't your type and that you liked bad boys like Bakugou just to make him laugh and relax

but you're soaking your panties the first time you hear your name in the pro hero's mouth

you're frozen where your boyfriend, the hero's sidekick, is somewhere beside you introducing the "two most important people" in his life

cause the greenette is looking you up and down and the way he licks his lips before saying your name is messing you up inside

"Nice to meet you, Deku," and fuck his eyes get darker hearing you say his hero name

Your Boyfriend, as great as he seemed a moment prior already seems so.. average

Izuku can feel himself getting hard in his dress pants because of the disappointment he can see in your eyes when your boyfriend takes your attention back

at first its just the looking

Deku looking at you whenever you have to come from your campus to bring your boyfriend lunch

You looking at Deku when he's already ripping his shirt off to change into his costume the one time an emergency alarm went off while you were in the office

but then you're walking back to your dorm after a party and some creep won't stop following you, you're to grateful to hear Deku's cheerful voice calling your name from his car and offering you a ride

it's not until the fear fades (approximately one second after the door closes and you're surrounded by the scent of pine and Izuku) that you ask what he was doing at your college

"Oh I just wanted to swing by," in that aw-shucks tone of his that made your panties grow soaked in seconds

when you don't take the bullshit excuse, "I'm high as a kite and I still can't believe you thought I'd buy that,"

he tells you your boyfriend was sent out of town for a two week training camp

maybe it's because you're still buzzing with the energy of the party you'd spent hours working yourself into an aroused stupor dancing and imagining the green haired man next to you

but you're able to meet his gaze when you tell him, "Then we should be going to your place. Dorm furniture is not reliable enough for what I'm gonna need you to do make this worth it."

It's the last big girl shit you say for the rest of the night.

because you're stone cold sober when his bedroom door closes behind you, trembling as you realize just how big he is when his naked body is over yours

if you try at all to cover yourself, close your thighs when he uses the breadth of his shoulders to bully them open wide, it's all

"Where ya going puppy? If I'm gonna make this worth your while you gotta let me see what I'm doing."

if you try to run from him when he's fucking you on your knees (you'd long since lost the ability to hold yourself up at all),

"Nuh uh, no running lil girl. I've waited too long to have my fill of your wet little pussy."

but what were you supposed to do? there's no way your boyfriend's average dick could compare to the heavy girth of the eight inches rearranging your insides

"You're not getting enough cock if you're this tiny," the greenette grunts above you as his large fucking hands hold your hips still so you can't escape every deep thrust that knocks right into your cervix

"Y-you got, two weeks," you wheeze as he fucks the breath out of your chest, and the way his cock twitches inside you kinda ruins his image as he hits your ass with a smack that has you moaning and calls you a slut

(maybe I'll do Kirishima and Shinsou in a pt two but damn this is getting long lmfao)

[arcgeminga]

What is the mun's opinion of all the gold saints from TLC?

♚— Oh boi. This is gonna be a mouthful. I know you said "all" , but I can't do saints like Avenir and Sage since I haven't read Shion and the Old Twins' gaiden in English. And I'm not about to act like I know Spanish enough to write a review on those saints.

♚ Aries Shion - Should've been the Hades Arc Shion. Like damn, I really like Shion when he's an angry sheep!! I mean, he yeets the five bronzies in Hades Arc like "Fuck dem kids!". 

I really like Specter/Pope Shion. But TLC Shion I do not hate. In fact, I can understand how and why he becomes Pope. I really like TLC Aries Shion! I just wished he was more angry sheep, but TLC Shion is not bad. I especially loved his Gaiden, at least the part where Avenir was shown. I feel like they should have explained more on his thoughts on becoming pope or exploring him having some sort of survivor's guilt but hey. I don't dislike him!     

♚ Taurus Aldebaran/Hasgard/Rasgado - Honestly, the only thing I can say about Hasgard is that... I don't hate him. I love his English Voice actor (because I'm a really big fan of Jamieson Price since Tales of Vesperia), but for Hasgard himself... I don't really have an opinion or thought on. His teenage years with Sisyphus and Aspros seemed fun, and I'm kinda... hm... sad that their relationship mellowed out? Or at least, we didn't get his and Sisyphus' opinions or reactions to Aspros' death.     

♚ Gemini Defteros & Aspros - OH BOY WHERE DO I START!? ----- Gemini Aspros - I understand why Aspros was the way he was towards everyone and his brother. It's honestly not his fault. I am happy that he doesn't have a "split personality" at all throughout TLC, even though that is something I would never diss Saga for (even if it wasn't really a split personality). He was simply manipulated into behaving cruelly because someone showed him something that he was scared of, and that was akin to his brother not needing him. His Gaiden harks back to that too, during that 'flashback' when he told Defteros that he was going to become pope, Defteros donned the gold cloth and said 'yeah so we can be equals and I won't need you' (paraphrasing). If Aspros is just going to be used and tossed away, might as well harden his own heart before then. And it doesn't help that he saw himself as a Specter and his brother as a Gold Saint when he went to the oracles.

 I feel for Aspros because, in the end, he had no idea that he had been manipulated hard enough that his goodest boy personality changed. And honestly, I can relate to that. I've had my personality take a deep dive some years ago after I had a panic attack. So I don't fault him for his actions. He was just trying to make the best with what he knew, understood, and could do, even if that meant doing terrible things. After all, it is his mindset that the weakest people are the ones that don't do anything.     ----- Gemini Defteros - I also can't fault him for anything. He was dependent on his brother, and there was no way he could understand what was going on in Aspros' tortured mind since Aspros never spoke about his feelings. But I believe that, contrary to what Aspros thinks, Defteros would have been very dependent on him even after Aspros became pope. After all, he didn't have friends, lacked social skills, and couldn't find it in himself to trust anyone aside from his older brother because of how Sanctuary treated him as they were growing up, so he would have been stuck in like a childish headspace of needing a protector and provider, which was Aspros. You can tell that much because he was asking Asmita what should he do when he was possessed by the DEF. 

When Aspros died (or rather, when Defteros killed him [which seriously broke his heart]), it forced Defteros to grow up and look after himself. This isn't a terrible thing--but it was a terrible and such a trauma-inducing way to go about it. But how he died--or rather, the fact that he wanted to sacrifice himself to save his brother... honestly it still makes me cry a lot. You can see in his eyes that he loved his brother even after the very end, and wanted him back. And just IMAGINE how many times Defteros' eyes have shown nothing but the purest love for Aspros, and how Aspros had been manipulated to see those eyes as nothing more than hate. ----- Gemini twins in general - If it wasn't obvious already, I love these two so much. I hate--I ABSOLUTELY HATE--that their brotherhood was RUINED, because these two are so... important to me. I see myself and my sister in the Gemini Twins so much. To the point where it's so personal to me. Even after being manipulated and losing his brother, Aspros still held his little brother very close to his heart and lamented and regretted the fact that he will never get the chance to be the brother he should be. And Defteros... I can't explain why his loyalty and patience for Aspros affect me so much, but it does. It does in a way where it hits me more than just an emotional way. I guess that's because I see my sister in Defteros much more than I should.

I love the twins in such a profound way where I cannot find the right words for it. They obviously still love each other so much, even after all is said and done, and I think that is so important. Having that kind of unconditional love for your sibling is the most important thing in my opinion.

God, look at me, I'm crying over the Gemini twins again for like the 100th time oiwhfowef

     ♚ Cancer Manigoldo - So, Manigoldo... Honestly, I love him, too. But in a different way. When I see Manigoldo, I remember the private threads that a friend and I used to do on Skype, and I am frankly very enamored with him. But also because of that, I do not see him the same way as everyone else too. Besides, he makes up the second half of my OTP, so ofc I'm going to see him differently. Especially since I single ship!

    ♚ Leo Regulus - He's another one that I like a lot! Not only because he's adorable, but I also see him in a different way because I'm a single shipper, and I will never say aloud who I ship Regulus with. I won't say that he's a part of a different OTP (since I only have one OTP in all of Saint Seiya) but I do like Regulus a lot because of a friend's interpretation of him in Private threads a very long time ago. 

Yeah, he might be kinda OP/Gary Sue, but he's not too hateful in my opinion. I wouldn't say he's the best TLC Saint, since my heart is stolen by the twins, but he's a very amiable character when interacting with the characters of the TLC verse, and I wish I can squish his cheeks one day!! He's so adorable! I will say though that he is impressive to replicate a Big Bang(?) by himself... I don't remember if it's the thing that really killed him, but... huh. To be that unafraid of death, I wouldn't be surprised if he has some sort of mental/personality disorder that made him... like that? Something undiagnosed? Hm... thoughts, thoughts.

     ♚ Virgo Asmita - Asmita is one of the gold saints that, I honestly, don't know about. It's different from how I feel about Hasgard. For Hasgard, I don't have an opinion for, but for Asmita, I just don't know. I love how Teshirogi drew his hands. Like damn, bruh, can we switch hands? We're both Virgo, and I think we can make it work out... /kicked

     ♚ Libra Dohko - LOL DOHKOOOO!! My sister's favorite. I feel like he's super impulsive in TLC. I haven't read his gaiden at all, so I can't say much about that, but I do like him! Like with Shion though, I feel like he should have had some sort of heavy Survivor's guilt in the end. I'm also insanely curious about what ability Defteros zonked on him to erase the memory of Athena's blood and cloth. I don't know if it's shown in Dohko's gaiden, but I would love to see how TLC Dohko came across and raised Shiryu.

     ♚ Scorpio Kardia - As a character, I adore him. He's charming, spontaneous, and, like Aspros, wants to live his life to the fullest. And his fullest means just having fun before his short life is ended. Krest might have made him practically immortal, but he's still suffering. However, Kardia also holds a lot of bad memories for me from days before, and his entire character serves as a painful, but a graceful reminder of who I was back then.

      ♚ Sagittarius Sisyphus - Honestly, I don't ever think he was qualified to be a candidate for the papal throne. He's so melodramatic. Yeah, he might treat everyone with kindness and all, but I feel like he doesn't have the knowledge part down. Let alone, he's a brawn brain! Bruh!! Shooting an arrow at "hades" is always a bad idea!! What made you-?! 

Lmfao, if possible, I feel like he and Aspros should have dual-pope'd Sanctuary. One has the brains, but lacks compassion while the other has the compassion but is "shoot first, ask questions and think about that later".

      ♚ Capricorn El Cid - I... should love El Cid, but my mind goes blank a lot around him. He's impressive, I give you that, but I don't think I have an opinion on him. And I've read his gaiden in Spanish a LONG time ago, so I'm not going to pretend that I know him enough to talk about him.

      ♚ Aquarius Degel - hm... I think he's cute. Especially in his gaiden, he's really cute.

     ♚ Pieces Agatha -

[theamberwriter]

Drawn to Love [Katsuki Bakugo]

[ONE]

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x Reader

Word Count: 2982

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: Lmfao, so - Lumix and Aurelius may or may not be from a comic of my own that I came up with ages ago! I’ve been having a lot of fun writing this! I hope you guys like this just as much as Drawn to You!

"Why don't we hang out in your dorm tonight?" Katsuki asked as the two of you walked back to the Heights Alliance. You panicked, there was a reason you hadn't let him in your room.

You smiled warily. "Why would you wanna do that -"

"I've never been in your dorm, first off. Second, my floor is getting too freaking noisy to study." He glared straight ahead, his grip on your hand tightening a little. He was right though. The people on his floor had been running amuck lately. 

You groaned. "Fine."

"What? Got something you don't want me to see?" Katsuki teased. "Did you save one of those Papergos to sleep with at night?"

Your face grew hot as you remembered the incident a few months before that lead to your dating. "No! My room is, uh, just a little cramped. That's all."

Katsuki rolled his eyes. He wasn't buying it. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever."

Your stomach twisted as you got closer to your room. He was going to think that you were weird. You just knew it. Your quirk was fun, what could you say? It brought you endless hours of entertainment.

"Uh," you stuttered, standing in front of your door. "Are you sure you don't want to -"

"You're not getting out of this, nerd." You could see the amusement in his eyes. No matter how he tried to hide it.

Your shoulders slumped. "Rude."

To say Katsuki was a little confused when you opened the door was an understatement. There was a lot going on at once. Lots of movements, noises, and colors. Shapes he recognized but were a little off. Mostly due to the materials they were made of.

Over the years, you'd drawn and brought to life many things. One of your passions was making pets and plants that didn't need upkeep. As Katsuki stepped in, a little paper dog and cat circled around his feet. Tiny creatures scurried and flew about the room. A colorful paper toucan was propped on a paper tree growing out of your wall. On the other side of the room, an owl hooted from a tree trunk jutting out.

Paper vines hung from your ceiling, clinging to the walls. All pulsing with life. Paper plants, which actually had color and scent, were growing in real pots. Some were even sentient, nudging your leg as you walked by. You patted them on the head. Your room was alive, basically.

"Uh, welcome to my dorm," you said, stretching out your arms. The owl flew out, landing lightly on your shoulder. "You see why I didn't want to hang out in here? I - uh - I got a little carried away -"

"This is amazing," you barely heard Katsuki muttered. You could see the slight freak out in his eyes as the toucan flew to him and landed in his hair. It nuzzled down, apparently not planning on moving anytime soon.

That's when your bathroom door slid open and out walked two people. An extremely tan boy with cinnamon red hair and facial stubble was talking to a pale girl whose purple hair dragged the floor behind her.  "- No, you're an idiot, you can't just - [Name]! You're back!"

The girl flew over and wrapped you up in a hug. The owl hooted at her aggressively and went back to the hollow in the tree trunk. "[Name], you're back! You've been gone forever."

"What the f -" Katsuki started.

You grinned at him anxiously. "Aurelius, Lumix - I brought someone."

The girl, Lumix, dropped you and got in Katsuki's face. The toucan in his hair didn't even flinch. The guy, Aurelius, pulled her back by the shoulder. "Lumix, don't be rude."

You rushed over, grabbing Katsuki's arm. He looked ready to blow them up. "GUYS, this is my boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugo. Katsuki, meet Lumix and Aurelius. They're, uh, characters from my comic."

"AAAHHHH, FINALLY!!!" Lumix yelled. "You're a lot cuter in person."

"They're what?" Katsuki sounded angry and baffled at the same time. "You can bring people to life?"

"You know it!" Lumix cheered, spinning around in a circle. Katsuki realized then that she was in futuristic garb. Nothing like he'd ever seen.

"Uh, yeah," you laughed nervously, pushing him towards the far end of your room. "It's a war story about different countries. Each have a theme. These two are are sci-fi and steampunk. It's a whole - nerdy - thing. Uh, let's get to studying."

"Why are some things colored but some not?" Katsuki asked suddenly. And something dawned on him. Something that made his insides burn with guilt. He really could be dense. He had so many questions. About your quirk, about you, about everything. 

"Wha -" you started, turning to find Katsuki's face scrunched in obvious annoyance. "Hey, 'Suki, you okay?"

Katsuki could act cool and hard all he wanted. But, and he found it weird and irritating, he'd already imagined his whole life with you. Even after only knowing you since the school year started. You'd really gotten under his skin and into his heart. Katsuki sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just realized, after all this time, I don't actually know a damn thing about your quirk. Or about you, really."

You smiled and waved him off. "I'm nothing interesting. My quirk is stupid and full of rules and technicalities. It's all super boring -"

"I don't care how damn complicated it is," he started. Katsuki sat on your bed. Your heart ached. He really looked like he belonged there. Amongst all of your drawings, and the craziness that you could bring to life. You sat next to him. He turned your face to look at him. His eyes were very serious.

"I don't care how dumb you think it is. If we're doing this, being together, then I have to know. - I want to know. About this." He pointed to the toucan. Then to Lumix and Aurelius who were listening intently. "About these nerds. About you."

Your heart felt like it swelled. An overwhelming feeling of happiness overtaking you. But it was cut short as you watched in horror as he reached for the toucan. Your eyes grew wide as he tried to pull it out of his hair. "Wait - no! The toucan -"

But it was too late. Katsuki's gentleness disappeared as the bird chomped down on his finger. He immediately lit it on fire. Only realizing as ashes fluttered in front of his face what he'd done.

"Bites," you finished weakly. You barely held in your laugh.

"Oh, shit," Katsuki muttered, then louder, "Damn it! I didn't -"

You got off the bed. "It's fine. I can remake him."

You rummaged through your desk until you found your drawings box. You took out a binder and held it up to show him. "This is a comprehensive collection of everything I've brought to life. This is a technicality of my quirk. You can destroy what I've made, it will simply go back to being a drawing. However, if you destroy what it's drawn on -"

"Then it's gone forever," Aurelius stated dramatically.

You nodded, then flipped through the pages. "You can see these are all blank. - Except for this one, with the toucan."

"Are you sure that's a toucan?" Katsuki asked, squinting at the page. It was just a vague shape. You thumped him on the head with the binder. That earned you a small glare.

You rolled your eyes. "I was small when I drew him. We'd gone to the zoo and wanted to make one for me. It may not look like much, but I bring to life what's in my mind's eye. Watch."

You focused for a second. Thinking about how you wanted the toucan to appear this time. Then put your hand to the page. In a glow, the marker toucan peeled away from the paper as you lifted your hand. Bringing life was a bit more elaborate than just producing a building. The marker outline rose, rotating until the toucan was up and down.

The marker lines bent into a recognizable outline of the toucan. Then the outline started to expand like a bubble. Soon a white, 3D, paper bird floated there. Then the colors flooded in, like someone pouring paint. They were totally different than they'd been before. With a final flash of light, you could see the spark of life flood in.

You cupped your hands under the toucan to catch it. It plopped right into your waiting palms. Katsuki stared in amazement, not even trying to hide it this time. That's when the toucan turned to stare him in the eye.

"I must thank you," the toucan said. The color drained from your boyfriend's face. "If you had not blown me up, I may never have gotten the gift of speech. Also, thank you, [Name], for the new coloration. It's quite beautiful."

"Why thank you," you said, smiling. "Back on the tree, then?"

The bird nodded. "Yes, please, if you would."

You climbed on your bed to put the toucan back in his perch in the corner. You sat back beside Katsuki, who was weirdly silent. He looked disturbed.

"You okay?" you giggled. "Not used to the 'miracle of life'?"

He was silent for a long moment before asking, "That bird isn't going to hold a grudge, is it?" 

"Sir Beaksaplenty?" You raised an eyebrow, smirking. "No. He's a very forgiving bird. I've destroyed himself by accident before. I just have to promise to bring him back better than the last. I'm thinking about giving him a top hat and monocle."

Katsuki eyed the bird's perch warily. "And he remembers everything?"

You nodded. "Only if I want him to."

Katsuki nodded, but you didn't think he was convinced. You were quiet as you watched him take in your abilities. You could see something flicker in his eyes. He kept looking around. His eyes going to where Aurelius and Lumix were arguing over a board game on the floor.

You took Katsuki's hand gently, giving him a smile. "I'm an open book. Ask me anything you want to."

He seemed to flip through a few ideas in his head. "You never answered my question before."

"About the colors? Well some I accidentally brought to life, like the Papergos. And some I was too tired that day to give color. If I don't have enough juice left or enough focus, they come out the same color as what they're drawn on." You shrugged. "Some I colored before bringing them to life. Like the flowers, I used scented marker so they'd have smell nice. Others, like Beaksaplenty, I had to concentrate. See the colors in my mind as I brought him to life."

"So far nothing you've told me has been complicated," Katsuki teased. "Can you bring something to life out of anything?" 

You nodded. "Yep, I drew Lumix and Aurelius on chunks of wood meant for carving. Their bases are in this box." You pulled out two one-inch wooden cubes, showing your boyfriend their blank sides. "I keep everything in here for safekeeping. I don't think I could reproduce these two."

Lumix grinned. "We're one of a kind!"

"Do they just follow you everywhere?" Katsuki grunted, thinking about how this would affect your future living arrangements.

"I did try to leave them with my parents," you groaned, glaring them down. "But two someones decided to sneak into my suitcase."

Lumix pouted. "We didn't want to get left behind! School is much more fun than home!" 

"How the hell you even fit in a suitcase?" Katsuki asked.

"Easy!" Lumix shrugged, shrinking down to the of a doll and then growing again. "We can shrink to the size of the object we're drawn on. And as big as we are in context. We can't grow any bigger than this. But we'll also never be the size of ants."

Katsuki looked at you. You shrugged, laughing, "I told you. Rules, technicalities."

"I guess I still have a lot to learn, huh?" he noted, mostly to himself.

You took his hand, interlacing your fingers. "It's nothing time won't fix. And we have all the time in the world."

Katsuki's heart fluttered at those words. Not that he'd ever admit to being soft. You two spent the night talking. He would ask you questions; when did you draw this? or how did you do that? or what was the biggest thing you made? His subtly slipping the more you talked. The closer the two of you got.

Before you knew it, it was late and dark out. The two of you wrapped up on your bed. He was thinking deeply about something, you could see it in his eyes. But he didn’t say anything. Aurelius and Lumix were passed out on the floor. Lumix had asked Katsuki a million questions of her own. She’d finally worn herself down.

“I’m sorry about them,” you said softly. “I should’ve told you. - But I was afraid.”

Katsuki grunted, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. “Afraid of what?”

You hesitated, playing with his shirt. Katsuki grabbed your hand and turned his head to look at you levelly. You sighed. “Of you. What you would think. How you would react. I was afraid that you would think I was weird. That you’d leave me because of ...all this.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes. “You’re really an idiot sometimes. - Do you really think any of this would change my mind about you? You’re mine, damn it.”

“Katsuki…” you breathed. You lifted your head to look at him, his cheeks were pale pink.

“You have a damn cool quirk. You’re strong and use it well. All this is just like training,” he said, a bit softer. “There’s no point in being able to bring shit to life, if you don’t use it to make yourself happy every once in a while. - How many people can say they do what you do? I’m guessing not fucking any. Leaving someone for their quirk is damn stupid. Especially someone as amazing as you. So don’t be an idiot.”

Katsuki kissed your forehead, which sent a herd of butterflies teaming through your stomach. He yanked your head back down to his chest. Then he pulled you tightly against him. Your heart felt warm as you wrapped your arms around him. You wanted to be like this forever.

After a long while in silence, Katsuki spoke softly. “Why would I think your quirk was weird? I knew damn well what I was getting into. I wanted to be with you, even after you unleashed a bunch of mes into the dorms. - That paper runt was right. I was flattered that you’d drawn me.”

You played with his shirt again. You muttered sleepily. “Well - there have been a few times in the past that people haven’t reacted well to my quirk. They want me to draw them. Then bring them to life. But people never see themselves from the outside. They accused me of messing with them when I brought them to life. But I hadn’t. They just didn’t like themselves, and who they truly were from the outside. Mina loved the doppelganger I drew for her. That’s how we became friends in the last year of elementary school. In middle school, I hid my quirk. But, when someone asked me out, I always made something. The few that asked me out thought I was some sort of mad scientist. Saying they’d heard about me and the things I’d made before.

“So I was terrified for you to meet Lumix and Aurelius. I thought you were going to think I was some sort of freak. Assume I was doing something pervy. Or that I was so pathetic, that I had to create my friends. Or some sort of mad scientist, just like the others had called me. Or just - completely freak out about something else. I know those two can be a bit much to handle. And, sometimes, they’re very 2D. So you can tell they aren’t real. But I gave them the ability to learn and become more of themselves. Not just how I imagined them to be. I just laid the groundwork. They did everything else. They’re much more real now than they’d been when I made them. I love them like family, regardless. Even if it makes me Dr. Frankenstein.”

“You worry too much,” Katsuki stated. “And those people were idiots. What you do is fucking awesome. Raccoon eyes gets on my damn nerves. But I’m glad she stuck around.”

Your face filled with heat. Mina was the only one to ever call you awesome, or call your quirk cool. No one you were interested ever though what you could do was neat. Or they only thought it was a pathetic parlor trick. They never took your powers seriously. You grinned to yourself, thankful to the darkness. You were embarrassed, honestly. You silently chuckled in excitement. 

“Also,” he added, sounding more asleep than awake. “Frankenstein would be a fucking cool hero name.”

Soft snores followed. Katsuki’s breathing evening out, his heartbeat slowing under your ear. You honestly felt so relieved. He was going to stick with you. Even after you’d accidentally brought a bunch of Papergos to life. Finally, someone who didn’t think you were a joke. Finally, someone you could actually invite into your paper world. Someone you could actually love. Someone who would love who and what you made, just like you did.

You gave Katsuki a light squeeze. Letting your mind wander. Playing around with ideas about raising children in your world of drawings. How Lumix and Aurelis would be as babysitters. How you all would be as a family. How Katsuki would handle an apartment with you. You could see it all. You fell asleep to a sweet, warm image in your mind that you hoped you could bring to life.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #276

“all the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, outrun my gun.”

Favorite dried fruit? Dried fruit is fucking disgusting. Would you rather wear a dress or a suit on your wedding day? A dress. If you chose dress, will it be long or short? I prefer longer wedding dresses. If you chose suit, will you wear a bow or a tie? Hypothetically I’d wear a tie, probably. Have you ever wanted to be a police officer? No. Do you have a nut allergy? No. Do you accessories with chains? Put chains on fucking EVERYTHING and it is an improvement. How often do you cook dinner? If you’re excluding the microwave, like… never. What have you given up on recently? Nothing important; the only thing I can think of applies to a game. I was after the way-too-fucking-expensive dinosaur mount that is very soon going away in World of Warcraft, but the stress it was causing me wasn’t worth it. The time investment and how it was only a “maybe” of getting it in time Favorite condiment for fries? Ketchup. Ever had bangs? I did as a little kid. Do you know any Italian people? Well yeah, people of Italian descent are common in the U.S. I don’t know like, someone straight from Italy though. Have you ever dated someone LGBTQ+? Yeah, a demisexual. What color would you like your future bathroom to be? Uh… I don’t really care. It would depend on the house. Do you add sugar to plain cornflakes? No. Are skeletons cool? Skellyboiz are dope. Favorite Selena Gomez song? I don’t know any. Do you like coffee flavored cake? I don’t like coffee, so guess. Is that even a thing, though? Do you still watch your favorite kid shows/cartoons? I don’t watch TV. I would though, sure. Do you like going on walks? What's your favorite thing about them? How far do you normally walk? Ugh this question is gonna be embarrassing considering I went through muscle atrophy in my legs from being so sedentary. When we move (HOPEFULLY the start of October, a wrench was kinda thrown in our plans), I intend to absolutely start walking in small intervals now that we’ll be in a nice little neighborhood with a sidewalk. And a PokeStop nearby to bait me lmfao. Plus the weather will be cooler, so I intend to make a lot of progress. BUT ANYWAY I like just listening to either music or the sounds of what’s going on around me. Last time you had a hot drink? That’s a good question. Idk. Have you ever lived in a city? Was it crowded? Never like… a “real” city. Just small towns or in the middle of nowhere. Would you prefer to live in a big city or the woods? THE WOODS!!!!!!1 THE WOODS!!!!!1!!!!1111!! GIMME THAT SHIT!!!!!!11!11!!!! Have you ever climbed a mountain? No. Do you hear owls or crickets at night where you live? LOADS of crickets and toads during the summer. Ever run away from home? When I was a stupid pre-teen. I was mad at my mom and she wasn’t home, so I took Teddy and left. I had my phone though and Mom – when she got home – threatened to call the cops, so yeah, I came back. Are you scared to ride public transport alone? Why? No. Is marriage on your mind? No time soon. Did you own a dollhouse when you were younger? I didn’t, per se, but my younger sister did, and we would play together. Does the room you're in have a tiled floor? No, it’s carpet. How many pairs of earrings do you own? Not that many, not too few. Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend? I’ve never thought *looking* was a good idea, so no. I think bonds of any kind need to come naturally to avoid lack of genuineness, force, or rush. I don’t think me having an s/o is a smart idea right now anyway. Do you prefer a call or a text? Don’t call me unless you’re dying or something. Do your parents drink coffee every morning? Mom almost always does. I don’t live with Dad, so idk. Have you ever donated blood? Yes. One song that's meaningful to you? UM a LOT. Most meaningful, probably “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin. I physically can’t listen to it. Like I refuse to. Are you addicted to anything? Technology, big oof energy. What were you last listening to in the car? Something on my iPod, idk. When was the last time you sang out loud? I don’t recall. I rarely sing. What did you have for breakfast? A microwaveable sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. Mom is currently out of state with her mother because she’s literally on her deathbed, so she STOCKED ME THE FUCK UP on groceries. The freezer is literally jam-packed, so I’m focusing on eating food from there. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I almost never, ever make it through the day without one, especially now with having nightmares every fucking time I sleep. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, not my first name, anyway. “Marie” is a middle name theme in my family, though. What kind of music do you like? Metal, rock, alternative, indie… stuff like that. What’s one hobby that you’d like to take up? Ugh, I miss a LOT of my old hobbies. I’ve lost interest in so much. I wish I drew way more than I do, which is almost never. What did you think you wanted to be when you grew up? The first job I ever wanted was a paleontologist. I was obsessed with dinosaurs. Still love ‘em. What’s the biggest project on your to-do list right now? It’d be great if I could finish designing Ashley’s cancer tattoo, but again, yeah, drawing motivation. ;_; If you weren’t in your current job, what would you want to be doing? I’m unemployed. Is the last person you kissed older than you? No. Are you happy right now? No. Haven’t been “happy” for a while now. Who makes you happiest right now? Probably my cat tbh lol. Especially being home alone for so long, he’s keeping me company. In school did/do people put a label on you? If so, what is/was it? I was considered one of the “emo” kids. Do you laugh every day? lol wow no. What is the last thing you laughed at? This Spongebob meme I saw on Facebook got me fuckin good. Have you cried today? If so, why? Nah. When was the last time someone saw you naked? Been a long time; even when I’m going in or coming out of the shower I do all I can for Mom to not see me because I hate my body a fucking lot. What is the greatest loss you've endured? My first boyfriend. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? WOW I do this like every fuckin day, fam. What was the last thing you lied about? I’m not sure. What type of a drunk are you? Never gotten to the point of drunk, but I was more talkative the closest I got. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? What a big question. I personally think you should do all you can to make a positive impact on the world – make it better than when you entered. Don’t contribute to the bad, treat people how you want to be treated… all that jazz. When was the last time you were up all night and why? I can’t remember quite why, but I remember doing that with WoW some time ago. Idr what I was doing that had my attention that long, though. That’s rare now. What is the worst thing you've done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? Part one: hand over all of my worth to someone else. Part two: show me exactly why I shouldn’t have in a very unhealthy way. What is the most personal thing you're willing to reveal? I dunno??? Can ya give me a topic?? Is there a situation or person you haven't been able to get over/forgive/what have you? I honestly doubt I’ll ever be entirely over Jason. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Probably Mom, and idr. Doubt it. Just probably raised my voice. Where did your last injury come from? My cat, rip. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? Something along the lines of “thanks for sending me to the ER (or mental hospital?) again.” Fucking disgusting. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Without fail, always. Please wear your seatbelt. Are you scared of flying? Not really. What do you sleep in? Men’s pj pants and tank tops. Who was the last person you kissed? Sara. What are you listening to? I am fucking HOOKED on 3TEETH's cover of "Pumped Up Kicks." Do you prefer soupy noodles or noodles without the broth? Without. Have you ever missed someone but felt like they had other friends and didn't miss you as much as you did? This. Is the story of my motherfuckin life. I feel this all the time to a very deep level. Who, out of all your friends, do you hang with the most and could never get tired of him/her? Sara. Do you like the taste of white chocolate or does it taste kind of fake? Nooot a white chocolate fan. Too sweet. How would you react if you just found out your mom had an abortion before? I would be VERY surprised just given who she is and her adoration for children. Are your pets spayed/neutered? Yes. Hottest guy you know and actually talk to? I don’t regularly talk to any guy I consider “hot,” but the closest to that would be my friend Leon, whom I’ve always seen as very attractive. It is fucking UNCANNY, his resemblance to Leon Kennedy from the Resident Evil series. Like he’s dressed as him before and it is astonishing. Name sharing is a coincidence, too. What time of day do you like to shower? I don’t have a favored time anymore. I just do it when I feel like it at some point during the day, but pretty much never night anymore. I do think starting the morning with one though is great, though. When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Fries are almost guaranteed, but of course it depends on the type of food, too. What do you spend more money than necessary on? I don’t and never have had a stable source of income to answer this, really. What video game or computer game are you best at? Uhhh I’d probably be rusty with the Shadow of the Colossus controls by now, I’ve don’t have the maps or every puzzles memorized from the Silent Hill games, so I guess my answer’s World of Warcraft if I’m on my hunter. Not to flex but I’m a bomb-ass beast mastery hunter. Been my main in the game since I started in MoP. What do you keep your keys on? They’re in my purse on a keychain. Is your favorite color different than your favorite color to wear? Oh yeah. Do you buy books or get them from the library? Buy them. What section of the food pyramid do you neglect the most? Veggies for sure. What do you use your stovetop for most? Well, I don’t ever. Can you focus on studying if there's music on? No, I need silence. In what types of situations do you demand absolute silence? Well, see the above answer, for one. Also going to sleep. Well, maybe not, as I have a fan as kinda like white noise, but I can sleep without it. Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? I didn’t score bad, but I wasn’t exceptional either. Do you own more shoes or less shoes than the average person? Less, I’m sure. Do you still have anything from when you were a baby? Yeah, up in the attic. I think my mom has some stuff that’s super important to her in a case somewhere. Do you use hairspray much? I never do. Are art museums interesting or boring to you? I enjoy them. What subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? Well, this is a difficult question to answer when you consider I think depending on your career focus as well as personal values and interests, this answer changes from person to person. Like for me, I could say I don’t give a shit about complex math, but advanced math courses would be valued by certain people down specific paths. But anyway, I’ll bite and say least necessary for *the most* people, in my opinion anyway. Gym. It’s very discriminatory towards people with more limited physical capabilities (and I don’t just mean literally disabled), and it’s also just very uncomfortable and/or embarrassing to some people. Like I’d fuckin cry if in my current state, I was forced to “run” a mile, because I physically couldn’t come even close. A person, a younger one especially, should never be subjected to humiliation at the hands of a class schools deem “necessary” when it absolutely is not. Okay I’m in a talkative mood and this is turning into an essay so I’mma move along now. When you were a kid, what games did you always play on the playground? I think for as long as I had recess, my go-to was ALWAYS the swings. I fucking loved swingsets. I loved playing 4 Square or whatever it was called. And then of course there was me digging tunnels in the sandboxes because I wanted to feel like a meerkat lmfao. Do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? For some reason, I still have this childlike excitement *early* into a power outage. Especially when it’s dark and we have to get out the candles, and I might play my old GameBoy or Nintendo DS, or I’ll probably just chill talking with Mom. However, that phase is pretty short nowadays, being a snake mama. My mind very quickly goes back to “Venus needs her lamp,” so as time passes, I get more anxious than annoyed. Basically, I’d rather not have one. Do you know how to use an ATM? … no lmao How about write a check? No. Are you pretty politically correct? To a degree I consider reasonable. Personally I find political correctness as having gone too far by now, but it’s certainly appropriate in some instances. What is one fashion trend you'll never understand? I… don’t really care to think much on this. Wear what makes you feel confident in yourself. There are things I think don’t look good, but they may look great to you, and it’s on your body, so guess whose opinion matters. What do you wear when you exercise? Oh yeesh. Just sweatpants and a tank top, normally. What is usually the last thing you do before you go to bed? I turn the brightness on my phone waaay down. I’m always going to wake up throughout the night and check the time, but I don’t want to be blinded.

[mibuchis]

character ask: mido, riko, mibu!! ❤️

here you go! it’s going under the cut since it’s rlly long lol

Midorima

Why I like them

I actually don’t know, I really didn’t like him at first but his character grew on me but I’m not rlly sure it did - I think I started liking him around the shuutoku/rakuzan match, but I can’t remember lol

Why I don’t

He was really arrogant at the start of the series, so maybe that? But he had grown a lot by the end 💗

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

THE ONE WHERE HIM AND TAKAO DO THEIR SPECIAL PASS 😭😭😭 I LITERALLY SOB EVERYTIME I SEE THAT SCENE OH MY GOD IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

Favorite season/movie

season 3!

Favorite outfit

this isn’t one from the show, but there’s this little tiny figure of him and he’s wearing navy pyjamas with little stars on them 🥺🥺 and he’s holding a teddy bear 🥺🥺 and he’s so cute 💗💗💗

OTP

Midotaka, for sure - they’ve always been so fun for me to write.

Brotp

A weird one that’s purely self indulgent, but him and Furihata. I’m writing a fic and there’s this one scene I have planned with those two and it has been living rent free in my head since I came up with it lol - again, it’s weird but idc

Head Canon

Neurodivergent Midorima. That’s it, that’s the headcanon.

Unpopular opinion

He’s more than just ‘weird’ and ‘quirky’. Like he’s a character with depth so he should be treated as such.

A wish

I’ve seen art of him with circle glasses, so I now suddenly need him to have circle glasses, he’d look so cute!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

He was so happy by the end of the series, so I’d hate for him to go back to the state he was in back in middle school :(

5 words to best describe them

best character in the show ❤️

My nickname for them

Carrot boy (original, I know/j)

Riko

Why I like them

Bc she’s a strong woman who takes shit from no one :)

Why I don’t

I don’t really take much issue with anything about her lol, I haven’t watched much knb for a while so I haven’t picked up on any flaws lmao

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Literally every time she helps to motivate Seirin,,, like she’s so good at it 💕

Favorite season/movie

Season 2, probably. Idk why tho lol

Favorite outfit

the one with the bear on it from the training camp episode - it’s totally something I would wear!

OTP

I don’t really ship her with anyone but if I had to choose then I’d say Momoi

Brotp

Either Kiyoshi or Izuki, I can’t choose

Head Canon

After leaving Seirin she does training to become a professional coach and goes back to work with Seirin 🥺

Unpopular opinion

a lot of people don’t think she’s as pretty as the other girls in the series which is a LIE bc she’s gorgeous 💗💕

A wish

For Hyuuga to stop having a crush on her - she deserves better :)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

No one is ever allowed to make fun of her to small boobs again. All boobs are pretty 💕

5 words to best describe them

such an empowering,strong queen 💗

My nickname for them

my wife 😌💍 (jkjk)

Mibuchi

Why I like them

He just seems like he can be rlly sweet 💗💗 like he can be quite a nice person

Why I don’t

He’s so arrogant and it gets on my nerves sometimes 🙄 like when I rewatch it I always forget how much of a dickhead he is to the other teams lmfao

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

I liked the scenes in the Rakuzan/Seirin match when he was against Koganei. Idk why they just kinda stand out to me.

Favorite season/movie

He was only in season 3, so season 3

Favorite outfit

The one where he’s wearing the yellow top and the pink apron, purely bc my best friend and I want to cosplay Mibuchi and Akashi from that picture lol. I also like his pink scarf, but that’s an item of clothing, not an outfit

OTP

(Ayyyy it’s rarepair time 😗✌️) but him and Mayuzumi. I was bored one night just over a year ago and was drawing some random knb characters and drew them together and was like,,, “WAIT, they would be cute together 👀.” Honestly I think they’re vv contrasting characters, but I think that would make their dynamic more interesting

Brotp

uhhh him with Hayama and Nebuya - they all seem like good friends 💗💗

Head Canon

Despite it being said that he’s popular among his classmates, I do believe he still is quite reserved. Like yeah he gets on well with his classmates but he isn’t as close to some of them than he is with others.

Unpopular opinion

this shouldn’t be unpopular but he’s more than just gay - if you think that feel free to unfollow me ❤️

A wish

He’s one of those characters I just want to be happy. I desperately want him to be happy 💕💕 (says me who writes angsty vent fics of him lol 💀)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Don’t ever let Hyuuga Junpei near him again ❤️

5 words to best describe them

love of my fucking life 💗

My nickname for them

don’t have one :/

[valehirvas]

Yep, there it is. Officially diagnosed as BPD. I’d be laughing if I wasn’t having one of those periods in my life where all I want to do is just sleep and not turn on the lights.

Where’s that post talking about how BPD is basically just diagnosing someone with woman like modern hysteria? I’ve been diagnosed with woman, everybody, and it’s right above my transsexuality diagnosis, too:

It’s funny that I went in to get my placeholder diagnosis of psychosis cleared out, but instead of that I had my life-long diagnosis of depression removed and my psychosis still remains “otherwise unspecified”.

I don’t really know what I should be saying or where I should be saying it. Funnily enough this blog seems like the best place to be talking about it. I’m trying to act normal elsewhere. The truth is, I’m not normal, and I am very acutely aware of it as of late.

So, in other great news, I’m losing my clinic contact again. I swap them every year and therefore I never receive any treatment. Trust-based relationship how when I can’t even remember the person’s name I’m supposed to be trusting, they leave me that fucking often. My doctor helpfully offered that it’s because of this particular diagnosis; I guess I’ve been living the whole hell of “nobody wants to treat a bpd patient” for the past 20 years of my life, just secretly, because I didn’t have the fucking diagnosis until yesterday. He also suggested I get therapy and then shrugged it off like “guess you can’t though since it’s 200 bucks a month”. Like, yeah. What do you want me to do, lmfao, roll over and die? Apparently I’m off to another clinic that deals with whatever the alternative to rehabilitating patients is. It sounds like they’re downright giving up on me, but on the other hand the doctor said he was “confident” they can fix me right up at the other place. I don’t... think so? But sure, go ahead and try.

It was funny watching him play darts with pinning symptoms on me, though. I was in a nice mood yesterday (nice as in entirely cooperative and non-argumentative, observant, not to be confused with “happy, cheerful”) and played along, but I could tell he was disappointed that I wasn’t having tumultuous, passionate and doomed relationships left and right. He also really wanted to find out what drugs I’m using, but that’s an old one, I’m used to it. They never quite seem satisfied with the answer of “none”. When I say none, they remind me that weed is a drug too, at which point I offer them caffeine. I do use caffeine, a lot. Daily, even. It’s a measure of how much I like the particular professional I’m dealing with - the good ones laugh. This one just quietly checked off the drugs, I guess, because he didn’t make a note of my recreational use of caffeine.

He was also disappointed in my apparent lack of wide and thick self-harm scars. Too bad it’s 2020, because I’m white as a sheet and you can’t actually see that the entire underside of my arm is scar tissue. The whole thing. There’s no skin, there’s just scar on top of scar. It feels like the skin of a really old person. I hate permanent marks, I have a nose piercing because if I one day decide to take it off, you won’t be able to tell there was a hole in there, so I concentrate all the scars in this already marked place. I hate the little crosses and all the messages I left on my thighs as a teen. I’m not going back there to satisfy a diagnostic checkmark. You’ll have to do with my “scratchmarks”. It’s really as deep as that floppy, shitty safety razor goes. I dug it out of one of those fucking things you shave your legs with. Never used them for anything but this.

What was new, though, was that he really tried to pin my transsexuality on BPD. And you know what? Sure. Let’s go with that. Why not. Let’s explain it somehow. I’m woman so I have dysphoria. I’m bisexual so whatever that one guy said about becoming what you’re attracted to. What’s his face? That man’s theories drive me up the wall with the way they’re detached from my lived reality. Blanchard. That’s the one.

(I could be writing my NaNoWriMo instead of this, but I’m done with burdening my friends and like I said, it’s not like I have a psychology professional I can talk to, so this it is.)

He also noted the tower of flags on my bag. I like that tower, it’s three LGBT flag iron-on patches on the side of the flap. He asked me what they were - he could recognise the rainbow flag, obviously, but the bi and ace ones were a mystery. I told him it’s for the people who know. He asked if I want to tell them I’m trans. No, dunce, if I wanted to tell them I’m trans I’d just have the trans flag on my bag. I don’t, because it’s literally the least important factor of my personality ten years in. If “I don’t fuck people” makes it on my bag but the trans flag doesn’t, I think it’s safe to say I’m trying to signal something else.

I wasn’t expecting anyone to ask, though. I did have an answer, because it’s true; I want people who know to know, and to see that they’re not alone in the room. I’m sometimes a little scared going out with my bag. The flags are very bright and very visible for something so small. But if I can tell one person they’re not alone, that’s worth the risk of getting the sneers.

I was asked if I want people to come up and talk to me. No, I really don’t. It’s honestly just about reminding others like me that the world isn’t that big and scary. That we’re not alien in this society.

But I guess if you’re straight and white you don’t really get that, do you.

Finally, the doctor wanted me to be very unreliable, and went to great lengths to dig at my abuse history to find proof that I don’t reliably attend my appointments. Funnily enough the nurse I’ve been meeting with for the past year (and now won’t be) was very adamantly on my side about how cooperative and reliable I’ve been.

I couldn’t just not think about the diagnosis of woman then. But the truth is, as much as everyone hates self-diagnosers, I diagnosed myself with BPD when Kelsey was still eating me alive from the inside out. The way I love people is not healthy. The way I lose myself in others and become anything but the shell I don’t recognise is not healthy. The way I shift from name to name and can never stand being called one after a while is not healthy. The way I recreate myself like an ouroboric cycle of caterpillar-to-cocoon-to-butterfly-to-cocoon-to-caterpillar-again is not healthy. I don’t have a self. I never have.

Most recently, I spoke on my channel about how I hate the way I show love; it’s like a six years old trying to express an emotion. Look, I drew a picture of you because I love you and think you’re beautiful. I wear my nail polish like you, I even let it wear out like yours had when I saw this colour on you. I found an earring like yours and put it on like you have it. I’m learning the way you speak so I can hear you in my conversations. I want to compliment you every day, even if you don’t ever hear me. And then I get hurt when I’m reasonably enough seen as a fucking creep. I’m 30 years old. My dad kicked me around the house and wanted to kill me. I’m scared of being close to anybody. I only love from a distance because I wouldn’t know how to do it from a closer proximity, and people like me look like stalkers. I don’t stalk, though, I know where I’m unwanted. But I’ll still take the words you’ll write and trace the penmarks on the paper to feel something you once held. It’s the closest to you I’ll ever get. It’s alright, really. I didn’t expect things to change.

And we’re back with Kelsey, aren’t we? Because all of this was fine until he fucked me up. I thought I was okay until he showed me all the ways I’m not. It hurt to love but at least I was loving so strongly - I’ve been told before, nobody does it quite like me. But, but. There it was. That’s how it ended, with me spitting blood on the pavement, metaphorically; physically it ended with me in an MRI machine when they tried to find the blood clots or some damage to my heart and lungs that made me unable to breathe. It was just the weight of everything.

Now you know. It’s good to get all that off my chest. Anyway, I’m cluster b now. Bought my tickets here a long time ago.

[depths-of-escapism-archive]

Alright um wow! i actually kept up with this! if you don’t know i started drawing as a new years resolution lol and um wow! here i am doing a year end review! also like?? the fact i started out with a few random colored pencils i found in my basement, a single pencil, and a single sheet of paper?? and that’s all i used for 2 and a half months??? aND now im using a whole ass drawing tablet??? it’s kinda wild lol Also from this point forwards i post higher quality versions of the art & go into details about the art so um yeah, it’s a *very* long post to end the year on

January 2020 um yeah i had only started drawing like 4 days before this and wow it fucking shows lmao (also all of my first drawings are just straight up scenes from Ghost & Pals PVs because wow froggy your so creative only drawing the things you watch on youtube lmfao)

February 2020 Okay but like,, yeah yeah i get i only had a month of experience and all of my experience happened on a single piece of paper but like?? why is this one so fucking bad?? lmao like i remember even at the time of making it i hated it lmao. Also super cool note this was my first drawing i did in full color! i later decided that it looked weird having only a bit of the paper colored so i went back and colored the whole thing because dumbass froggy is a dumbass

March 2020 omg woah is that more drawings of ghost & pals oc’s in the exact same pose as in the PV?? that’s like, so creative bro Also the fact that i very clearly remember thinking that his head was *way* too small to be realistic but i felt like the older art where there heads are literally wider then there whole ass body was fine??? hewwo??? froggy?? you good? like i know your kinda stupid but heWWO???

April 2020 Okay okay okay heres where things start to get interesting 1. I found a sketchbook and was no longer limited to that single piece of paper 2. I started editing my photos so i could actually get the colors i wanted 3. I started my tumblr uwu! 4. and i actually?? don’t hate this?? like yeah it’s still not creative in the slightest but it’s not *bad* and i kinda like that shade of red :flushed: May 2020 yeah no your not getting a high quality version of this So basically this was the month when i started moving over to digital art using my phone and wow was that rough getting used to (but also it was so much easier for me to do with my set up lmao) June 2020 Yeah i like to pretend this one doesn’t exist lmfao This was the month where i first started taking like?? proper reference photos for my art and i was actually starting to be creative with it and come up with my own ideas,, just,, all of my art from this month looks *exactly* like the reference photos except worse to the point where im not sure if i can even call it art lmfao

July 2020 To say this month of my life was a shitshow wouldn’t even begin to cover it lmao so um yeah, i drew that! also?? if i remember correct my mother stole the little art supplies i had just cause and that’s why this one isn’t in color or anything lmao

August 2020 I feel like it was around this point that my digital art actually started being *somewhat* good but i still wasn’t *super* happy with it 

September 2020 This is literally the only thing i drew in september and it took all of like 10 mins lmao,  I remember feeling just kinda burnt out and like i had no ideas by this point cause as we have figured out im *very* well known for being creative

October 2020 By this point it had been 3 months since i had done a full traditional drawing so i remember being like ummm i really should do *something* but not really actually liking this art lmao

November 2020 Feeling like i had wasted like the whole year drawing wise and feeling like i was capable of doing so much more i decided to try and do a full drawing everyday for this whole month and yeah! i fucking did that lmao, i feel like this was this month was the first time i ever really like, *understood* shading and how to use color ig? i also feel like i really kinda found out what i *actually* wanted to make this month so that’s very cool December 2020 You guys are gonna have to wait until these posts go up in january to see this art in high quality sorry not sorry Can i just?? can i just say how fucking good it felt to be able to make whatever i wanted without having to rush to finish it before midnight every day? and i really did just make what i wanted to meaning that this month i made more edgy shit then normal and just aghhh feels good man aLSO ALSO i got a drawing tablet mid way through this month so um yeah, still getting used to that lol overall im like, really actually kinda proud of how far my art has come within a year and i really don’t have any plans to stop soon! and lastly thank you to everyone who has followed me! (also shout out to like, all of you guys watching me from the begining because damn fan art does so much better then my oc art lmfao)