#i think it didnt really help that his mom would kind of enable it. she handed him a ceramic toothpick holder (???) and he shattered it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uricl · 4 years

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NEW POST ( 2/19/2020 )

I hung out with him one night a few years back. He is very conscious of his reputation and goes out of his way to act gentlemanly. He’s funny and makes a lot of jokes in person. I would say more but don’t want to reveal who I am as I’m still close with some members of his team.

He made a joke about his dick size and then profusely apologized (again - super self conscious about his reputation), let us wear his sunglasses in the club, sang along loudly to his own music on the radio in the car, laughed at all our jokes too. He’s a goofball for sure. It’s funny all the guys with the worst reputations have been the nicest in person and the guys with happy-go-lucky reputations are the worst (ahem, Kid Cudi…)

It is true he was doing cocaine in front of Royalty. His friends do drugs around her but Nia didn’t file a protective order that I know of. She was blackmailing him for more money. Nia smashed most of his friend and a few other famous celebs before running off somewhere.

He is just complex asf..especially since he had another baby. Right now he refuses to hang with any other girl that isn’t Nikia.

I met Uriel when I lived in Miami…he got his friend to get my number for him at LIV. We hung out for maybe three months, and most of the time we didn’t do anything sexual honestly. He would just invite me over to watch movies or something. I think he’s really lonely. He also does a shit ton of ketamine, lean, and cocaine. This was during the time when he was dating nika…I didn’t know about her but then again he is uriel cain so I assumed he was messing around with a ton of girls. He doesn’t like using condoms…I’ll tell you that.

He has a million arcade games in his house and he has racks of clothing everywhere (in the halls, in the kitchen, in the living room) you can barely walk around. But overall he was actually…sweet. Respectful. Always made sure I was taken care of. We kind of just fell off because he’s a totally different person on drugs

🔴 WE’VE GOT THE TEA FOR YOU.

his family has been trying to get Uriel some help for a long time. His issues are deeper then being immature he has SERIOUS dark issues.

i have specific details about his abuse. It wasn’t normal spankings. One instance that I this person gave me is that his stepdad took his head and slammed it into the wall. The person I knew said that he was severely abused and that his step father used to lock him in closets whenever he was upset.

He once admitted a few years back that he “lost his virginity” at 8 years old to a 14 year old girl. The fact that he willingly admitted it to the world proves that he thinks there was nothing wrong with a 14 year old sexually assaulting an 8 year old.

His stylist says he hardly eats. I think that’s bad since he does cardio and dances frequently but I’m not sure.

My friend who works for Uriel always stresses that he is by far the nicest and warm hearted people to work with. He has helped my friend with so much financially and emotionally. He’s provided opportunities to my friend when he was struggling and I know that he has helped many of his employees with financial stuff and with there kids schooling.

Ive always thought he has BPD but who knows for sure. He’s diagnosed as bipolar and has a severe case of PTSD. But maybe being bipolar mixed with the issues he has and self medicating with cocaine/crack has something to do with that. Im pretty sure he’s a pill popper (xan) too based on what this person was telling me.

Uriel never wanted to be a musician he actually wanted to play basketball professionally.

Also Uriel hit his mom as an adult not a child.

Uriel took both of those girls around his family alot. Im not sure about this since I didnt ask. Uriel’s mom loved Zhara (who did spoil his family especially the kids and his mom) and hated Avery.

Uriel can be one of the nicest and friendliest people, per everyone I’ve known that knows him (NOTE: this does not negate the facts of his abusive and poor behavior). There’s a reason he still has so many friends and supporters in the industry and in his private life; when he’s straight, he’s a pretty decent person at heart. But dealing with anybody with his kind of demons is scary and unpredictable. Some legitimate Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde shit. Untreated mental illness mixed with teenage fame, constant public criticism, some enabling in his circle, and drugs will do a hell of a number on a person.

The tea on lipstick alley may have some truth to it, Uriel entourage and even his family as a history of spilling his most inner dark secrets to TMZ, TSR, and many other gossip blogs to collect a coin. It doesn’t matter how many of his cleaners he sends in to clean up the threads/post on him it doesn’t matter. Uriel is an extremely private person for a reason, and sadly the public will never get much of a chance to see the true Uriel. His life has been nothing but a struggle since the day he was born, his problems have always been existent. Zhara WAS NEVER the cause of his problems and his family will always love her to pieces and he still loves her as a friend until this day. But I supposed Uriel was born to be just a handsome tragedy. The only reason why Uriel still as a career is because of Deleon, if it was for him Uriel’s fame would have burnt out a long time ago. Uriel blames his mom for the many issues he has now, how would you feel if your mother just stood by and watched her new husband beat on you? Yes, Uriel has a big-heart, yes he is kind and generous, but untreated mental illness mixed with teenage fame, constant criticism, along with enabling and drugs will do a toll on a person.

NEW POST ( 12/7/2018 )

Leilani Uriel’s former fling did an interview with TMZ and spoke about her relationship with the singer. She said the two were very close and could have been something more if she didn’t step away from him. She said women who have petite and have more oriental features or small features seem to be more attractive to Uriel than most girls with an average body shape. Even though Uriel as fucked woman outside of his type those are the type of woman he tends to go for more. Uriel requires all of his girls not to be a homie hopper’s, have a big mouth and run to blogs, and at least spend time with him for at least 3 weeks. But for the three weeks you spend with him he will spoil you with trips and constant shopping. Uriel loves woman that have something going for themselves but still want the help of a man, Uriel likes to take care of those he’s affiliated with, so as long you don’t break the rules all will be well.

Leilani spilled the tea when it came to Winter and Uriel’s relationship and said it wasn’t what it seemed. After Winter caught Uriel in bed with another woman and attempted to fight said girl, that’s when things turned ugly. Uriel gave winter to shop with to make up for his mistake, but winter wasn’t having it and threatened to fuck Uriel’s friend Capo to make Uriel jealous. When they got back to LA a few weeks later Winter left the harem and Uriel kept a professional relationship with her just for her to come back a few days later, and then leave the harem again two days later. Uriel and Winter never had sex after the New York incident and Winter went outside of the harem to get fucked. Countless times Winter threatened to buy Uriel out of the development contract he had signed to her to, when she had the money to buy him out she did. And that pretty much ended their relationship.

#〆 𝖉𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖕𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙┋muse

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merrysithmas · 5 years

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remember when boris rants about stealing the painting and how sorry he is to theo and hes just like yeah wtf are u talking about and boris is like u didnt? know? that u dont have the painting??? do u think that boris feels relieved he told theo and now theo knows or he regrets it thinking that he might’ve ruined this second chance fate just gave them? do u think if boris knew theo didn’t know he would just never mention it? or he would tell theo even tho that would implicate theo hating him?

I think Boris would absolutely tell Theo even if he knew that Theo didn’t know — I’m not sure he would’ve told him right then exactly, but he would have come clean. It’s just the heist setup happened to coincide perfectly with Theo’s fucked up comphet engagement so Boris kind of had the cards stacked against him — had to come clean right then to get Theo to ditch and go to Amsterdam with him. Whereas if Theo wasn’t in the middle of selling out his gay art thieving soul for a substitute mom Boris likely would’ve whisked Theo away maybe under pretense but told him in Europe. BUT the reason why Boris would have absolutely told Theo no matter what is this:

At that point there is a HUGE narrative parallel - Theo was obsessed with and preoccupied by an object that didn’t exist (TGF), and Boris was tormented by and preoccupied by a misdeed no one knew he committed (stealing TGF). The irony! All of their wrought up agony and self-flagellation was essentially for nothing, and yet all the more meaningful because they go through these soul transforming experiences by themselves - pressed on by guilt and longing, and internal locus of pain, a desire to do good in a world of bad.

Boris wishes to change Theo’s perception of him as a thief and liar — because Boris does not want to be a thief or liar, not to Theo. He sees himself as bad — this one act of theft has haunted him (and he supposes ruined Theo’s life) and the guilt of it has brought him around to good. This guilt Boris doesn’t realize he feels because he simply is good already.

And Theo realizes, after finding out the Goldfinch was a schoolbook, that his years of paranoia and effort to replace the past (Mrs Barbour, his marriage to Kitsey) were not done out of some greater arc of adoring beauty or in attempt to keep a piece of art (in essense, Theo’s memory of his mother) immortal. They were done because Theo ascribed meaning to it - false meaning, because when he unwraps TGF it is nothing but a relic of childhood, a schoolbook, a story he keeps telling himself. A lie. Who he has become, not who he should be. All of his efforts to stagnant time (drugs, displaced Pippa obsession, falsely marrying Kitsey, New Mom Mrs Barbour, antique dealing/scamming, lying to Hobie, hoarding TGF to keep it “safe”) were not done to preserve art and beauty but were selfish, an attempt to keep his mother alive, an act that rotted his soul in all those areas. He tried to do good by his mother (who said “we lose people yes, but it is more of a shame how we lose things” right before she died). Theo took this to mean - preserve the Goldfinch at all cost because his mother died, but he sees it really is a message from her meaning: people die, but we must not lose the important things we have because of it, least of all our souls.

This 8 year gap they’ve had from one another represents something very important: number one it is both a physical and metaphorical absence/distance from the one they feel closest to because of painful secrets, unreconciled mental health issues, and the past holding them back. It shows that not only would they have likely died in Vegas if they did not meet to save each other (and break up before they got too self-destructive), but they would have also likely died had they not met again in the future and reconciled. Theo maybe in a depression as he realizes his faux marriage and stand-in mom did nothing to ease his psychological burden and the continued ire he feels towards blaringly fake social niceties with Kitsey would only be exacerbated 100 fold, plus he’d perhaps eventually seek the painting and find it gone - his soul, gone. Sold out. Somewhere across the world - with Boris.

Boris on the other hand would have likely died of heroin overdose, plunged into the depths of his momentary pleasure-seeking, without Theo to question his motives and symbolize a potential future, a connection to the present, and someone who “of course” loves him. And on top of it - he has the painting, stole someone’s life, sold it for his own selfish gain, profited off of it — and for what? so he can buy heroin? OD in a dark apartment in Antwerp? what meaning is there to his life with the painting? it is a clamp on his soul, an anchor dragging him down to his hell, an enabler (financially) of all his worst habits. His soul’s end.

Boris had to tell Theo to ease his guilty conscience, it is his confession, his request for clemency from the Universe, an entreaty for absolution. It is the symbolic act which shows Boris cares for something/someone more than the cares for himself - his opportunity to be the hero, to be upstanding, to tell the truth. And it took him ten years to get the courage to do so, to grow, to learn in that distance that his riches and profits and hedonism means nothing alone.

And Theo had to find out TGF was stolen from him to clearly see the utter fakeness and transparency of his life of lies - upheld by his imaginary beliefs. It is this realization exactly that makes it so easy for Theo to willingly give up The Goldfinch (his life’s fixation) in Amsterdam to Martin for Boris’ life. That act represents that Theo sees the Golfinch for what it has been for him, a symbol, smoke and mirrors, and his life for the past 8 years as a self-delusion. He learns his soul is worth more than that, as Boris clings to the painting (Theo’s soul) refusing to give it up in the face of death - that art depends on the observer. To Theo, his own life is often worthless, but to Boris, it has grown precious and priceless - and as Boris tells him, saved Boris’ life.

So Theo returns the favor in seeing that Boris’ decade long journey of self discovery is worth more than a painting Theo didn’t even know he didn’t have - Boris: his only real friend and a person he loves, in the present. The thing he can’t lose even though his mother died — Audrey’s real message to him.

That’s my long way of saying, yes, he would’ve told him. Boris’ confession symbolizes the moment when they both grow up, when they both take responsibility for their own lives, where they come together and save each other so they can live into adulthood. Theo by giving up TGF for Boris and killing a criminal for him - essentially showing Boris someone sees him as more than a criminal, more than a “priceless” painting/money/profit, more than the cherished past. And Boris saves Theo by telling him the truth, helping him see his life for what it was, helping him realize someone truly cares about his opinion and esteem, someone values his company, someone thinks he is worth more than a painting in a museum from the most tragic day of his life.

Essentially, that they both matter.

#the goldfinch #boreo #ccsmogyral

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the-addicts-truth · 5 years

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The Journey to Rock Bottom

Its 3 am and like always, around this time of year, I find my self struggling to do much of anything. Even writing this is a struggle, I'm not sure I can win.

I'm sorry to my loved ones reading this. I'm sorry for the pain and hurt this post might cause. Just know that nothing, NOTHING, you did caused me to be the way I was, and that everything you did, helped me become the person I am today.

You see this is the anniversary of the rock bottom.

I'm talking real, scary, not sure if I would make it out alive. rock bottom.

I'm talking passing out on the bathroom floor, virtually unresponsive, of a funeral home, rock bottom. True, honest to god, I didnt care if I lived or died rock bottom.

5 years ago this week I had the worst thing happen to me. The thing that pushed me over the edge.

At this point the Ex and I had been in active addiction for quite some time. Neither of us were working, and it was getting harder and harder to support our addiction. Our dealer had his claws in us, as did the Dope, so we did whatever we could. I went sick, while he got the hookup. The Ex always was more willing to do things for drugs than I was. Dont get me wrong, one of our friends felt bad for me and would help me out when he could. It was living hell and alot of times J was the only reason I wasn't sick.

5 years ago to the day, as I type this, we were sitting at J's house, all three of us dope sick as fuck, waiting on his dealer to get back from Kensington. We left him borrow our car in exchange for drugs. I mean gotta do what we gotta do right. Dude was gone for like 6 hours. The Ex was so sick from withdrawl, he couldn't even stand. He was so sick he was on the verge of calling his mom. We had been going on days of just barely getting enough to keep us from being sick. It was taking its toll.

Finally.... Finally J broke out the last bag he had, and a suboxone. "Just to take the edge off." He offered to share everything he had, to hold us over until The Dealer got back. He split the bag, a line for each of us, and a shot for him, and cut the Suboxone in to three parts.

The Ex and I were still snorting.

Snorting is all I ever did. At least I had that going for me. ANYWAYS.

I did my line, wrapped the little orange strip in some plastic wrap and prayed to feel even just a little bit better. The Ex, well he was a true junkie, an all or nothing kind of guy. We all knew the dangers of mixing dope and suboxone, we knew precipitated withdrawals were a thing. He even said " I'm gonna be sick as fuck later" But he didn't care, he had the means to feel better and he took it. All at once. All or nothing.

The Dealer finally got back, with no drugs, no money, and a lot of pissed of people. Claimed he got ripped off, and well in the drug game anything is possible. The Ex and I took the car and went back home. We had a few people in town that we could score from and we needed to do something. But first thing was first. This was the first time in a few days either of us felt normal, and sleep was much needed.

I woke up to hell. For those of you who don't know what a precipitated withdrawal is, it is a severe reaction to taking a opioid blocker (such as suboxone) too soon in to the withdrawal process. Since The Ex took them within such a short time span, he woke up sicker than he had been in days. I found him laying in the tub, shaking uncontrollably, vomit, cold sweats, chest pains. We tried to ride it out. He took he last piece of Sub I had, and a few Xanax, I as able to get from another addict. To this day I don't know if he passed out from the withdrawal, the combination of drugs, or was just down enough to sleep. But sleep he did. I occasionally checked on him, and he seemed fine. Thursday passed in a blur and Friday came. Friday was worse, if it could get worse. He actually begged me to call his Mom. His Mom who hated me, blamed me for his addiction, blamed me for enabling him. I simply had no choice. She had me rush him to the hospital, and met us there.

The next few hours were a blur of yelling, screaming, tears, doctors, phone calls, social workers. I was starting to withdrawal myself a this point and just wanted to go home. I was scared, and alone. I got myself into this mess and decided then and there I was going to get myself out of it.

The social worker was able to get him into an inpatiet rehab facility but he had to go right away. While his Mom dealt with the paperwork, I was giving a very specific list of things to go home and pack for him.

On the way home I called J. I was alone for the first time in my active addiction and I was terrified. We talked for the whole car ride back to my apartment. I decided then that If the Ex was getting clean so was I. J was out of Suboxone, but he had a few Percocets he was willing to give me if I swung by. Sure why the hell not. I mean I had some time to kill before I could even meet them at the rehab and its better than the Dope. Plus I was ready to try but I wasn't ready to deal with The Mom, and checking The Ex in to rehab sober. I went to sign the Ex into rehab, on a Friday night, with an handful of Percs in my pocket.

What a shit show. What a train wreck. And it only got worse. I remember thinking that this had to be it, rock bottom. Ha. Rock bottom was not where I thought it was.

My mom knew The Ex was using, and she may have had an idea I was but I'm not entirely sure. I called her and checked in, told her what was going on with him, and his Mom. I don't even really remember it. I just remember telling her how scared I was, about him going to rehab, about being alone in my apartment. She was in the hospital herself but told me to call my brother and they would figure out a way to get him down to me.

I was broke, with no gas in the car, no money to do anything and I was exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Between the lack of sleep, all the driving, the stress, and emotional toll, I was running on fumes. I put on some music, broke out a Perk, and went to sleep. Tomorrow was another day.

A day that I'm not ready to write about.

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superemeralds · 7 years

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my sonic characters: a masterpost

I’ll add more whenever i get new info on characters and so on sakjsak

I used to have more but i gave some of them away so i dont feel like i should mention them here (even if those designs are not in use anymore)

[edit 4/20/2019 (haha) added nexus and links to character tags]

1) Saph the hedgehog

This is Saph. He’s a 18/19 year old disaster gay trans boy.

I change his shoe design literally every single time i draw him. :)

I’ll go in depth about his past later.

Saph is pretty much all over the place and forgets to be considerate of other peoples feelings sometimes. He might come off as very egoistic of self centered, but he does actually care in his own kind of way (even when its. kinda bad bc he gives off wrong signals sometimes and ends up hurting people hes close to)

He’s looked up to Sonic ever since he was small and he collects all of the Sonic comics and video games. His dream is to meet Sonic and win against him in a fight.

Shadow is his big idol in many things so he tries to be edgy sometimes or act tough but he fails miserably most of the time and makes a fool of himself; which he doesn’t really mind because he can take a lot of things with humour (sometimes too much). He also uses white eye liner to imitate shadows marks, and he dyes some parts of his fur white to make the marks he already has extend to look more like shadows.

Shadow was the person that taught him how to control his chaos powers, because he’d always just weakened himself in the past, because he is super unstable. (If it wasnt for Shadow he probably would have died by now.) Shadow also was the one that told Saph to go to Tails for help with the buckles on his wrists and the rings on his ankles. They are made of a material similar to shadows rings (tails tried his best to replicate them) so they would help keep the energy in Saph balanced. Due to his strong affiliation to Chaos Energy, he could technically even turn super; but his body would be unable to hold the immense amount of energy and begin to literally burn down to ash within a few minutes.

He is very gay and in a relationship with Ezra.

He’s on T and has not yet had top op. (his bobbies smol its all muscle >:3€ )

Old pic of him and his bf as humans uwu

2) Red the hedgehog

Red is 25/26 years old and works at GUN as special agent. Sometimes he and Rouge get drunk in her club at night and joke about tearing that organization down (or maybe they are not joking)

he’s pansexual and horny 24/7. He has a girlfriend and is in an open relationship. hes polyam if you didnt guess it askdsajh

he’s blind in the right eye and has a tattoo of a star on his chest

(here’s his gijinka because i just. hes hot. he used to be the one character that had like 30 fangirls on deviantart and each of them would comment “nosebleed” every time i uploaded)

ANYWAYS

Saph and Red. They are brothers.

*WARNING: abusive parents, transphobia, homophobia, violence

When red was a young lad and Saph was still a baby their father snapped and beat Red up with an iron bar, making him blind on his right eye. Red took Saph and ran away from home.(Their mother died at saphs birth)

They lived and still live in a city a litte farther off Empire City.

Red decided to go to an orphanage because he could not possibly take care of an infant. (granted his dad couldnt either but it seemed the best possible solution)

They lived in the orphanage for a few years, but saph very soon showed sighns of being trans and got bullied by the other kids. they would call him gay and tr*nny and kick him until he fell silent to endure his “punishment”.

Red couldn’t take it and decided to run away with Saph again. They lived on the street for a while, but Red was caught by GUN for stealing. Once they found out he had a form of chaos powers (even if weak) they decided to let him slide and hire him as Special Agent.

Red accepted this and uses the money he ears to make sure Saph has a good life. This kinda spoiled Saph a little, but he also deserved it lets be real here.

Red made sure to enable saph to get education (which he totally refuses to acknowledge and take seriously) and physical transition.

*WARNING END*

3) Ellectra “Ellie” the tenrec

[ pardon me being inconsequent with the design omg ]

Ellie is a 20 year old functional asexual demiromantic lesbian who is not interested in dumb boys and would rather talk about science with a pretty girl.

She can manipulate electricity and is called “Daughter of Zeus” by the townsfolk in her home island called Coral Island, which is located near the windsmil isles in Apotos.

She studies archeology and gaia mythology/ancient history, which makes it very convenient that she lives nearby an actual gaia temple. (She wants to be like lara croft one day)

At the 2005 black arms invasion her mother got heavily wounded when she tried to protect the town from the aliens and died from the aftermath.

Ever since then Ellie hates Shadow with a burning passion and holds him responsible, because she believed the government propaganda (provided by GUN ofc) that Shadow is One Of The Aliens. If she was ever to meet him she would be FURIOUS and ready to murder (she knows he cant die though).

She tried not to focus too much on that and just. do her cool ancient stuff.

Here are her parents Chion and... the mother i had still not found a good name for.

5) Chion the tenrec

This gentleman is 40+ years old and proud father of Ellie.

Hes also a het ace.

Chion is greek for snow (as far as google translate goes) and he was named that bc of his white nose lmao. its like a snowflake on his black body.

He doesn’t have any elemental powers, but he is naturally very strong and will punch anyone who comes close to his family. He can also use swords and is a skilled swordsman.

He inherited an olive farm from his family and he does keep it going. He makes his money selling olive products he does make himself.

6) Athena the hedgehog

Athena was the daughter of the “major” of the island that the family lived on (coral island), so she was expected to become the new major once he had to retire.

Due to the location of the island and the geographical landmarks on it, many raiders (and also eggman) have great interest in the ruins and mythological places. Athena is not one to give in easily and defended her people and the island from many intruders.

She possessed a less particular (than Ellie), but still fierce power of lightning manipulation. Having used her powers excessively, she sustained severe damage to her arms which showed as lighting shaped scars. She showed them with pride, because they meant she had fought hard to get where she was now.

She was bisexual and married to a tenrec called Chion. She was a year older than him.

The rings Ellie wears on her wrists were her mom’s.

7) Frost the snow leopard

Frost is a 15 year old demiboy who really just wants to have a good time. He hasnt really given his sexuality much thought.

He lives in a small village in Holoska; hes actually even met the werehog. Well he saw him. but he was too afraid to talk to him because holy shit its Sonic The Hedgehog!!!!!!!

He has ice powers!!!!

His insides are like -18°C and he cant eat anything that is hot. He has to eat cooked meals when they are room temperature, or even cooled down to fridge temperatures ( about 6°C).

He basically lives off ice cream and dry meat (if they get fancy food from the city he gets frozen pizza) He thinks of going to the UF for college, but he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life yet so hes just having fun snowboarding.

8) Mitzu the Cheetah

Mitzu is 22 years old and owns a flower shop/chao garden combo where she takes care of chao, while taking care of flowers and breeding them. Her hydrokinesis powers are very helpful in that!

She loves nature and the outdoors and feeling the grass under her feet, so she doesn’t wear shoes/socks. Ever.

She generally is very free spirited and optimistic!

Shes a big sapphic but shes also okay w being single atm.

Her chao are like children to her and she loves the chao that get left in the garden as much as her own. (ppl leave their chao there when they cant watch over them anymore or if they go for a vacation and cant take them with them or smth)

9) Dan the red panda*

Dan is 17 years old and a big homo.

He has no special powers, except being able to eat and sleep more than the average person.

He’s from a very rich family, but his parents insisted in him finding a wife to like. pass down the heritage but he aint having none of that so his punk ass ran away from home to be his gay self and study art.

He lives in a tree house a little off a small village in a more rural area in east UF, near station square. let the depression boy be happy...

10) Yoshi the siamese cat

Yoshi is a 20 year old enby kitty who wants to make the world a gayer place!

They are studying fashion design in hope to one day open their own fashion store for queer people! The clothes are made with body differences in mind and they also want to offer a free customization service to fit clothes to every single body type.

They don’t have any special powers as of now but i kinda want to give them a power that could be helpful with their goal Im still thinking about it ...

11) Joel “Spirit” the Husky

Spirit is fresh ripe 14 years old and Sonic the hedgehog is his big big idol. He wants to be JUST like him when he grows up.

It has come to my attention that he is basically the sonic universe Deku and I may or may not be planning to write a fanfiction for that...........

He doesn’t have any special offensive powers, but he has orange blood and he has the ability to read the Chaos Signature of anything he encounters. (called: Chaos Vision)

This means he will immediately know if a person he meets has super powers and he will also know what that power is. He can also guess the emotions of people because they are tied to the kind of chaos energy that surrounds a person.

12) Aurora the Husky

Spirit’s Sister!

Her name is Aurora and she also has Chaos Vision!

She was born blind, but she’s been able to see with her power, so that’s just what the world looks like to her: Darkness with many many colorful lights.

Over time through hard training she was able to perfect her vision and be able to distinguish between a lot of things and even see things that only have very little chaos energy in them!

13) Axel the Axolotl*

I don’t really have much info on them I made them pretty random one day bc i thought. hey. .... what if... axolotl sonic character.

14) Azul the cat

Azul is my sonicsona kinda. He was pmuch my persona b4 i was kin w shadow.

He’s an edgelord and i guess he’s still technically me; or rather what i want to be.

He’s already on T and has has top op and he does not crumble away under social anxiety like i do askjdsakjd.

15) ( UNKNWOWN) the Pangolin*

Similar to Axel I didn’t think much about him yet......

he’s aroace and kinda goofy but he cares for his friends. He can roll up and do spin dashes and homing attacks like sonic, but he obviously doesnt have his super sonic speed.

16) Coal the hedgehog

Coal is one of the newest of my characters; but he’s also one of my oldest.

You see, Coal is a revamp of a very old crappy fanchild i had back in like 2012.

for reference thats him

New Coal is 27 years old and a gay mess. He can turn into a cloud of smoke and control it at will. He is completely immune to physical attacks. try to stab/shoot him and u ded. hes coming for u.

he steals, but only from rich ppl. hes chaotic neutral tho bc he keeps that shit for himself safhsaljfha he generally just wants to chill and have his peace.

he loves being an edge lord though he just wants that image for himself, even though he is kinda a softie... hes good at keeping up an act in dangerous situations though and that sometimes scares attackers off (also his powers)

Some gijinka doodles that make his age more justice than sonic style aksjfhaskj

17, 18, 19) The Crew On ARK

old bad art but i never really drew them, i did write about them in my fic about shadows past! (im excluding the black guy from the list because i didnt write him yet and i guess hes not really established yet since i got literally nothing on him)

from left to right

Nia, (that dude), Hikari, (gerald), Theodor

Nia is the daughter of a shamaran professor and a woman who owns a boulongerie in spagonia. She joined the ARK program in hope to make the world a more accepting place.

Hikari is is from an island near chun-nan (japan) and she also joined the program in hope to be able to help make a change for the better. she also enjoys biology and genetics a lot.

Theodor joined purely because of his joy in working on genetics and robotics that immitate life. He’s innitially from the GUN team but was assigned to work with Gerald.

20) Commander Jonathan Williams

old art again sorry sakjfhsakj. He is the father of the current GUN commander! He’s 52 and a total douchebag. He’s kinda mad with power and genuinely believes that putting shadow under pressure to become the ultimate and strongest weapon (stronger than an atomic bomb) was necessary to end the war that was going on at that time.

I cannot spoil too much on what happened to each of these people as it’s spoilers for my fanfic.

If you want to know more, read here -> http://archiveofourown.org/works/10992156/chapters/24482199

21) Sidus “Nova” the black panther (and 22 Badass the Chao)

You see. The thing with nova is that i recycled him as human/demon character for a story sjkhfkafhsakj but he has shadow powers where he can use all shadows as portals into a shadow dimension that is entirely his own. he can travel through that but it makes him very tired. he likes to store capri suns in there and just take em out whenever he wants. He has a Chao called Badass (pictured below)

his new human/demon design is below

23) Blossom the horned Frog

She is new and I don’t have much info other than that she’s from a jungle area; perhaps in adabat.

She secrets a poisonous slime from her body; yet her spit has healing accelerating properties.

A gene defect lets her never lose her tail.

24) Nexus the demonic sheep hound

nexus is a demonic sheep hound mix?? idk i just didnt want to draw hooves aksfsakhfa

they can manipulate metal and bend it in any shape they want

however they cant make it float n shit like youd think of metal powers like magneto jsfhsakjf they can literally just. shape it like play-doh but with their mind

they wear those gold rings so when theyre in a pinch they can just make a bunch of cool knifes of a sword n be like SURPRISE BITCH IM NOT JUST PRETTY. IM PRETTY DEADLY!

#my characters #shadows logbook

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miranda2282-blog · 6 years

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Save yourself?

I once met a woman who saw beauty in everyone. All their flaws she brushed away. All their beauty is what she chose to see. She found her faith in herself by what she could do for others. She found her saving grace in saving. She had her fathers strong hands, and his even stronger work ethic. She wanted to be just like him when she grew up. But she had always said he'd wanted better for her. Even now he still wanted better. But she still strived to be him.

She found purpose in fixing problems. Her validation were acts of kindness. She didn't see a need for others to do for themselves what she could do. She never stopped to think that if someone ever fell in water without her....shed never let them learn how to swim.

She loved so deeply and without limits she forgot boundaries. She gave pieces of herself away so freely she wondered why she felt so empty. And when she finally looked in the mirror she wondered why she didnt recognize the reflection she saw. Because all she had done in her life was try to fix everything, but no matter how many things she had built....everything had broken.

What she never realized was that she built houses for other people that they couldn't keep up on their own. So when storms would come while she was away nothing survived the devastation. She was so busy fixing eberyine elses houses, she forgot to build a home inside herself. And so she remained empty.

She felt like she gave and gave and gave and yet she was never enough. But what she didn't realize was she was so busy trying to be enough for other people she forgot to be anything for herself. People got used to what she gave and instead of being appreciative they became enabled. They stooped seeing all she had to offer because she never stopped giving. Something that they used to appreciate just became routine. And with routine became expectation.

Then one year things got awful. Her spouse saw the cycle starting again. She wanted to save her. Seeing her hurting herself hurt her. So she tried to control it. She tried to keep her close. She tried to monitor, she tried to explain, she tried to fix, she tried to blame others. She made mistakes. A lot. She tried to save their marriage. And she failed.

This girl lost her wife. She lost her kids. Their house. Her job. Everything that had once been was now gone. She told herself she had to walk away because this was what she had to lose to be happy. Maybe it was.

But she continued to fix. She distracted herself with spending all her time fixing her friends problems. Spending money on them, fixing their tires, playing with their kids. Maybe it helped her not think about the kids whose mom she really was. Maybe it didnt. She said she was changing. I hoped she was. I hoped she will. But all I knew was that if she refused to accept the root of the problem. If she continued to try and find her validation and sense of self in fixing the problems in fixing other people she never would be. If she didnt go to therapy. If she didnt know how to be alone. If she didnt face her problems, one day she would break. And I worried that this girl who had been so worried about saving everyone else would be so burnt out she wouldnt save herself.

#saviorcomplex #reflections #writing #personal

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themoneybuff-blog · 5 years

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Questions About Child Rearing Costs, Laundry Services, Unused Media, Aldi, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. $250K to raise a kid? 2. Long term care? 3. $20 bill budgeting 4. Expense of laundry service 5. Backlog of unused media 6. 403(b) risky? 7. Cheap or expensive bag? 8. Thoughts on Aldi 9. Is renters insurance necessary? 10. Appliance repair or replace? 11. Saying no to parent 12. Getting value from self-improvement books Spring usually begins with a mix of rainy days and dry days, warm days and cold days. Sometimes, its a warm, dry day and all I want to do is go outside. Other days are wet and cold and I want to stay in out of the rain. The hardest part are the beautiful days when I need to stay inside and work. I want to go outside on a long, long walk through the countryside and through the woods, looking for mushrooms and enjoying the fresh air. Spring is wonderful. On with the questions. Q1: $250K to raise a kid? My husband and I are in our early thirties and were starting to think about having a couple of children in the next few years. We started to look into the costs and the most common figure we found was $250K to raise a child. That cant even be right as there are families that raise kid that barely bring in that in total in 18 years. What is the actual cost of raising a child in your experience? Marion When you see numbers like $250K, youre seeing the total long term cost over a period of at least twenty years, and that often includes paying for college and other such large expenses. Its also an average and includes families who are paying for things like private school. My experience has been that the cost of raising a child is often connected directly to the financial means of the parent. You can raise a child perfectly well on a low income my parents were never, ever very well off when I was growing up and they raised three children. My father worked in a factory (when he wasnt laid off) and had side gigs (most notably commercial fishing) for a living and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. There wasnt a ton of money there. We are most certainly spending more per child on our children than my parents did on me, but the truth is that a lot of the extra expense is on optional things like a band instrument or sports fees or an extra ticket to an event that were going to as a family. We could not spend those things and our child would be perfectly fine. In other words, those $250K estimates are numbers that summarize what parents are choosing to spend on children, not what they have to spend. Outside of some basic things like food, shelter, clothing, public education, and medical care, most expenses related to raising a child are very optional, and many of those required expenses can be incredibly low out of pocket. Q2: Long term care? Read this article: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/10/health/assisted-living-costs-elderly.html What are ordinary people supposed to do when they need long term care? The wealthy can pay for insurance or higher care, but thats not an option for a poor person or even a middle class person. If me or my wife needed long term care I dont know what wed do. Alex This is one of many issues that have radically changed in society during the 20th century and that we havent really figured out how to handle as a society. At the start of the 20th century, people who needed this kind of care usually didnt have the medical care necessary to continue to live. They perished. Thus, it was fairly uncommon for someone to need this kind of care for an extended period of time, and when it did occur, there were typically large families and even whole communities who stepped up to provide that care. Today, much of that has changed. In many situations, medical advancements enable people to live through things that they would not have survived 100 years ago. This means that more people who are in a long term care situation are surviving when they previously would not have done so. At the same time, nuclear families are smaller and communities are less tight-knit, for various reasons. The truth is that as a society, we have not figured out how to handle this yet. We havent figured out how to handle a lot of the advancements of the 20th century yet as a society. One only needs to look at the cruelty of many internet forums as further evidence of this. The problem, of course, is that there is no ready-made solution. Long term care insurance is definitely one step many people can take to gain peace of mind about future situations, but its expensive for many. The honest truth is that many families, when faced with long term care situations, just have to deal with it moment by moment to the best of their ability. Some families struggle to provide that care at home, particularly when theres a larger pool of family members that can help, while others go into debt. Many families rely on some form of government assistance to make it work. If you can easily afford it, long term care insurance is a great idea. If not well, society doesnt have a robust solution for you. The solutions vary widely from situation to situation. Q3: $20 bill budgeting Was reading an internet forum that reminded me of how I used to budget in college. Back then, I used to have an envelope with $10 bills in it. Each month, Id put $300 in $10s in there and each day I would take one out. Aside from rent, I had to live on that $10 each day. It paid for the bus and for food. Strategy I saw used $20 bills today which would be roughly the same. Mary Lets spell out this system a little bit. Aside from scheduled bills like rent, electricity, and so on, a person would aim to live on $20 a day in cash. Each month, a person would withdraw $600 cash from savings in the form of 30 $20 bills and put them in an envelope somewhere secure. Each day, that person would take a $20 bill out of the envelope and put it in their pocket. They would have to live off of that $20 bill and change from the previous months. This gives you room to splurge if you want to, but to do so would involve eating beans and rice for a while. In other words, lean days would directly help with expensive days. It would also be needed to help you make up front purchases like a bus pass, which would ease daily expenses a little going forward. I mentioned this idea to a friend and she said that she would probably try to have days where she could get by without pulling a $20 out of the envelope and then at the end of the month thered be some $20s left over, which shed use for bigger goals or big expenses or emergencies. That seems like a strong idea to me. I think this system would work very well for anyone who is trying to make ends meet on a very tight budget. Q4: Expense of laundry service There is a service in our town that just started that will take your laundry off of your front step and bring it back within 24 hours washed, dried, and folded. The cost is $2 per pound of clothes (rounded up to nearest pound), paid up front. I am trying to do the math on whether this makes sense or not for us. Amy A typical large load of laundry weighs somewhere between 7 and 10 pounds, but that really varies depending on how much you stuff in your washer with a typical load. I actually weighed a load of laundry that I just pulled out of our dryer on a kitchen scale and it weighed about 9.5 pounds. So, youre paying somewhere between $15 and $20 per load of laundry to be done for you. What is that saving you? The big savings is the time. You arent carrying your clothes to the washer and filling it up. Youre not moving clothes to the dryer. Youre not folding those clothes, either. Thats all done for you. In terms of cost, the cost of a load of laundry at home, including all materials, energy, and equipment depreciation, is around $1. So, in essence, youre paying someone between $14 and $19 to put a load of clothes into the washer, transferring them to the dryer when done, then folding them for you when the drying is done. Thats at most half an hour of effort, and probably less than that. Thus, unless you are very strapped for time and can extract a lot more than $30 of value per hour out of an extra freed-up hour, then this isnt a cost-effective move. It essentially adds up to paying $15 or a little more for an extra 20 minutes or half an hour of free time. Q5: Backlog of unused media What are your thoughts on people who have large unused media collections and keep buying more without using what they have? Why does that happen? Is there a fix? I noticed this myself with my collection of Kindle books recently. My son is home from college and he piped up and said that he actually has a lot of computer games unplayed as we often buy him Steam gift cards. He has a ton of computer games left unplayed yet he will often seek out new ones. I want to be less into getting new stuff and more into using what I have. Mike The reasons actually pretty simple: buying and acquiring and getting and collecting new items for your collection scratches a much different itch than actually enjoying the items in that collection. I have the same issue in some areas of my life (far fewer than I used to, thankfully). The feeling that acquisition and discovery gives you is much different and I think more addictive than the feeling that diving deep gives you. This is particularly true when you dont have as much time as youd like to dive deep, but thats not the sole cause of it. The only solution Ive found that works is to put moratoriums on new acquisitions. Give yourself a 30 day or a 90 day challenge to simply not buy any new Kindle books. Suggest the same for your son with his Steam games. If you have the urge, ignore it or, if you must take action, put that item on a wishlist. This does a great job of strongly curtailing that desire to acquire, but its a desire that can easily grow if youre not being conscious about it. I find that doing these kinds of moratoriums regularly does a pretty good job of slowing down my collecting nature. As for actually using those backlogs, the best thing Ive ever done is to consciously block off time in my schedule for that kind of exploration. I block off an hour a day for reading, and that has caused my book backlog to evaporate. I block off time on many weekends to play board games and that means the games in my collection are getting much more play. Q6: 403(b) risky? I work at [a public university]. One of my coworkers claims that people shouldnt put money into a 403(b) because politicians will eventually target that money for extra taxation or reclamation because it is public funds. He thinks that because we are government employees our 403(b) money will eventually get reclaimed by the government so saving in a 403(b) is a waste. Is this even possible? Ana Well, anythings possible, I suppose. However, if youre running your life in response to what you think its possible that the government might do, youre walking by a ton of opportunity. I mean, I think its possible that the government might outlaw certain classes of opioids. Does that mean I should start hoarding them, just in case, even though theyre very likely to just sit in my cupboard and go bad? Of course not, and I consider new opioid restrictions to be far more likely than any changes to 403(b) taxation. Let me put it to you this way: if the United States government starts retroactively taxing the retirement savings of a large class of citizenry in a way that invalidates the entire reason for putting money in there in the first place, we will already be in an extremely ugly situation that will get much uglier. 401(k) and 403(b) plans are already big wins for the federal government because its a way to pump tons and tons of money into investments and thus helping the economy in exchange for merely delaying taxes for a while. The government makes far more money leaving 401(k) and 403(b) plans just as they are than if they were to tinker with them in a way that would drive people away from them. It is possible that the government would do something like that, but if theyre doing things like that, then we have much bigger fish to fry, like a rapidly devaluing dollar. In fact, most financial conspiracy theories that people use to justify weird financial choices are ones that, if they came to fruition, would be completely overshadowed by a collapsing economy and a hyperinflated dollar. In my opinion, a 403(b) is about as safe as you can get, and the risks you are taking by having one are overshadowed by the risk of having your money in the form of American dollars, and I dont consider that much of a risk either. The only realistic change I can see to a 403(b) is that they might change how the program works in the future, and that would probably involve sunsetting the current 403(b) program and letting the current accounts continue to exist without further contributions while introducing some form of replacement account. They absolutely would not want to risk any mass withdrawals from 403(b) plans if they abruptly taxed them, Wall Street would lay an egg and the value of the dollar would plummet. The government will bend over backwards to avoid that, not encourage it. Q7: Cheap or expensive bag? I need a messenger bag or backpack for work. I have been looking at the options and it seems like you can either get a cheap one for like $20 that will last for a year maybe before the straps start breaking or you can get one for like $200 that will last for several years maybe five or ten, maybe twenty. Cheap bag does the job now for only $20 but I will be replacing it before long if I use it every day. Expensive bag will do it practically for life but its really expensive right now and I have a hard time justifying spending $200 on a bag. I know you lean toward buying things for life and I can see that the long term cost might be lower with the expensive bag, but I cant justify $200 on a bag right now. Duane To me, the deciding factor in these situations is the cost of failure. What exactly happens when a bag fails on you? In my own experience, thats usually the moment when its time to get a new bag the old one failed in some way. A strap breaks or the bottom rips out or something like that. Whats the consequences of that kind of failure? What happens if youre actively using your bag and suddenly a strap breaks on your or the bottom rips out? If the consequences arent too disastrous, thats a mark toward a cheaper bag. If the consequences are dire, thats a mark toward a more expensive bag. Personally, one of the things I strongly consider when buying an item is the consequence of failure. If it causes a potentially major career or life hardship or an enormous mess, Im going to get the reliable version. If its something small, like an overcooked or undercooked meal, the cheaper version seems much more acceptable to me. For me, this was what drew me to getting a buy it for life kind of bag for daily use. Q8: Thoughts on Aldi Aldi just opened up in my community. We shopped there and thought it was okay and that the prices were great but there were weird little annoyances with layout and selection and the carts. Then I saw on CNN about how Aldi is expanding fast. What are your thoughts on Aldi? Good place to shop? Alice Im guessing that this is the CNN story that Alice is referring to. That article describes it well: they strip down the shopping experience as much as possible to make the prices low. What Ive found is that it means that their selection is kind of limited and some of their items arent particularly healthy, but their prices on what they do have are amazing. There are two different Aldi stores within about fifteen minutes of my house. Aldi is probably the cheapest grocer available to me, though Fareway isnt too far behind them and has a somewhat better selection. I basically find that the cheaper a grocery stores prices are, the weaker the selection is and the more bare-bones the shopping experience is. I generally dont mind the bare-bones shopping experience, but I do find that it restricts what I can cook if I only use Aldi (or, to a much lesser extent, Fareway). I find that if I shop at Aldi, I usually have to make a second stop for some items; occasionally, I have to do the same with Fareway, but not too often. Other grocers, like Hy-Vee, will have everything I need, but the prices are higher. Thus, it comes down to a convenience thing and a meal planning thing. If I plan very simple meals, I can get everything I need at Aldi, but our meals arent very varied. Theyre certainly cheap, but not varied. If I add more variety, I either need to make multiple stops when grocery shopping, adding significant time to my shopping trip, or shop at Fareway or even Hy-Vee. Honestly, I still mostly shop at Fareway. The prices are very good and they generally have almost everything I need. Aldi is lower on the items that overlap with Fareway, but I usually dont have to make a second stop if I shop at Fareway, its closer to my home, and the prices arent really that different for a typical weeks grocery list. Aldi is great if your list is entirely common food staples, and I do shop there sometimes. Q9: Is renters insurance necessary? Is it always necessary to get renters insurance? Just moved out from parents and my apartment has a bunch of Goodwill stuff and family hand me downs. If its gone I dont lose much. Matt First of all, its very possible that your landlord requires you to have some sort of renters insurance policy. Youll need to look carefully at your lease; if you dont have it, you might be in violation of your lease. Many leases require the renter to have a $100,000 (or more) liability policy. Honestly, the big reason that many first time renters need renters insurance is for the liability coverage. If you accidentally burn down the building and its clear youre at fault, the landlords insurance may cover some of it, but you also have a legal liability too. If you dont have insurance, that can be a huge problem. Renters insurance is pretty cheap, though. You can get a policy that includes $30,000 in property coverage (covering your stuff in event of theft or disaster) and $100,000 in liability for around $15 a month. I think its a good idea, even for people without much stuff, to get this kind of insurance if theyre renting, just because the cost is so low compared to the downside. Q10: Appliance repair or replace? Our washing machine has broken down twice in the last six months. A family friend has fixed it both times but he says that to really fix the problem will cost about $200 in parts and that we should get someone else to fix it as hes more of a handyman. Time to replace? Noelle Absolutely. I dont even hesitate to say yes to this. When a repair bill is going to be a large portion of the cost of replacing an older item, its time to replace the item, as there are likely other points of failure coming in the future. There are exceptions to this, of course. If you are familiar with repairing the item yourself or have an interest in figuring it out, then you should by all means give it a shot. If you can find the parts for cheap and want to tackle the repair on your own, maybe with the help of that friend, then its probably worth it. My guess is, given the price, that electronic components are involved, but the actual procedure shouldnt be too difficult. However, thats not something that necessarily appeals to everyone or works with everyones life. In that situation, I think a replacement is very justified. The nice part is that your current washer should last long enough to allow you to shop around. Q11: Saying no to parent Im 31 years old and single. My father passed away about six years ago. My mom didnt handle it well and has become an alcoholic and possibly a drug user. She comes to me and my brother regularly to borrow money. She does manage to keep her job at a grocery store that shes had since I was a kid but I have heard that the manager keeps her on out of loyalty and she shows up to work drunk sometimes. She was so wonderful raising me and to see her like this tears me apart but I dont know how to say no when she asks. She asks frequently enough that it does put some financial strain on my situation, though I am still making progress on my student loans. Do you have any advice for me? Megan If I were you, the absolute first step I would take is to find an Al-Anon group for you. The purpose of Al-Anon is to support people in your exact situation, those that have loved ones with alcohol abuse issues. It sounds like your mother is a good person who was broken in some way by the death of your father and she doesnt know what to do so she uses alcohol to self-medicate, and that is causing difficulties in your own life. Al-Anon can help you deal with things on your own end and perhaps help you figure out how to help your mother. There will probably come a point where you will have to tell her no, but I cant really offer specific advice on that because I dont know the specific situation. I can simply recommend Al-Anon as a great next step. Q12: Getting value from self-improvement books A lot of times when I read a book about personal finance or getting organized, the ideas make a lot of sense but then I close the cover and none of it seems to matter or take hold in my life and before long Ive forgotten everything other than a few main points. Do you have any tips for making personal finance books or organizing books more sticky in my head? Mary There are two key elements that I think make the difference for me. The first is that I take a lot of notes as Im reading it. If its on the Kindle or a copy I dont mind abusing, Ill do a ton of highlighting as I go. If its a library book, Ill put in bookmarks as I go. Then, when Im done, I wait a few days, then go back through the highlights and take actual handwritten notes on the book. This impresses the ideas into my mind. The other part is that, from those notes, if I have positive thoughts about the book at all, I try to put some of those notes into practice immediately. I usually do a thirty day challenge with some of the suggestions in the book, meaning I try to apply them as well as I can for thirty days in my life. If it seems like the trial run will actually be a net positive change, Ill keep going with it, doing a ninety day challenge with perhaps some revisions. The goal here is to try to set those changes as a habit in my life. Rolling back a bit, I find that Im more successful with this kind of change if Im already strongly interested in the type of change that the book is targeting before I ever start reading it. If its not a change thats compelling to you, its probably not worth your time to read a book on any self-improvement topic. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-child-rearing-costs-laundry-services-unused-media-aldi-and-more/

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themoneybuff-blog · 5 years

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Questions About Child Rearing Costs, Laundry Services, Unused Media, Aldi, and More!

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