#i think influencer culture has really worsened the parasocial problems humans already have lmao

[shinesurge]

Another much much bigger creator got an ask a while ago that I can't find now that was the fairly common "How do I become Friends with you" and their answer was very good imo, it basically boiled down to "if I make friends online it's usually with other creators, because we like each others' work" but also gently pointed out how uncomfortable that is to ask someone in general. I've sort of had this problem my whole life for complicated reasons even outside the context of my work but IN that context it's pretty straightforward at least. Probably a good time to remind everybody that the version of someone you're getting through their work (or social media) is always an incomplete picture, even if the part you're seeing is genuine, and also that even then the playing field is wildly unbalanced.

I basically go to work every day and display all my organs on the outside; it is carefully curated but still very vulnerable and Exposed. I'm okay with that, I signed up for this, and I'm very happy when people show up and appreciate the thing. But showing up to this event for a few minutes, guts still safely zipped up, and thinking we are on level footing to form a healthy relationship is incorrect. I also can't stress enough that the answer is not to spill YOUR organs all over the display, this would just make a mess and will not, in fact, bring us closer.

I know people mean well, and I've probably brought this on myself by interacting with my audience so much (which I'm still going to do, things aren't that dire yet lmao) but the vibe is starting to shift for whatever reason and I just wanted to talk about it a little I guess. It's certainly not impossible to make friends with random folks on social media, I do it all the time when things line up, but please try to practice some awareness of the imbalance going on when you're interacting with a creator based on assumptions you got from their work. I think it's cool you like what you see, I made it hoping that would be the case! And, in the channels I've laid out with boundaries for my own well-being, I am usually happy to interact in kind with the folks who make an effort to show up. But please don't forget there are a lot more of you than me, you know a LOT more about me than I do you, and even that picture is incomplete; almost definitely some of the gaps have been filled in incorrectly. I'm here to bring y'all my work, and outside of very specific situations that is the context I like to keep things in. Please don't follow me to my car after the exhibit is done.