#i think im slowly learning to love myself or something
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etherical-angel · 1 year ago
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ive never gotten to the relationship part in daydreaming before. and now i am. with like 2 guys. i think this whole experience genuinely broke me so bad if im at this point.
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this-doesnt-endd · 6 months ago
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I love the museum scene from ferris bueller so much not only cause its just great but also cause like everytime i see it i see myself and think about how special that kind of moment is
#i talk abt this often but like cause it impacted me so much#cause like i had the worst experince for my second half of highschool and my dad who also didnt like highschool understood#the importance of like taking the day off abd he'd let me skip and call me in sick and have a ferris bueller day as we called it#cause its a movie we both deeply loved and loved together#and at first id just stay at home in bed not getting up with the movie in the background and like eventually i started to do things w my da#cause my mom didnt know and she couldnt know so id go out and do things so it wasnt noticiable i was home all day#and like id walk around my neighborhood and go to musuem and movies and listen to new music and go to parks and places i hadnt been before#trying to give myself the best day show myself something good and slowly i went from rotting away to being like im taking a stand#im not letting my life unfold around me and i went out and did things i wanted to do and learned about all the things i wanted to#and was actually like involving myself in like what i wanted my future to be i went to plays and art museums and the movies#and when i see that scene i think of john huges commentary and how the museum was a place of refuge for him and so he came back to it#and put it in his movie and allowed it to be thst again and it was for arguably his like magnum opus#and that scene just fills me with such a sense of peace and nostalgia and hope and i cry everytime!#and everytime that movie is in theatres i go and see it and after its all over and i walk out and feel the sun shine on my face#everything for a moment feels like its gonna be okay and i think of my dad and the first time i saw this movie in elementary school#on one of those days he just had off and we took the day off together and how during the moment in my life everyone else was telling me#abt how important school was even when it was killing me he knew that sometimes you just had to take the day off and take it easy#and he let me everytime without questiom cause he knew what it meant and how much it meant to me
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itgetzweird08 · 6 months ago
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“You’re nervous..”
You said so matter of factly, your head resting on Bakugou’s chest. He grunted, opening one eye to look down at your face. “I can tell,” you continued “Because you didn’t clean your room before we laid down… and you didn’t do your reps. You only miss those when you’re sick or when you’re so nervous you can’t focus. And I know you aren’t sick so…” he scoffed, closing his eye again. “You should be a goddamn detective if this hero shit don’t work out.” You chuckled, but his joke didn’t distract you. “Talk to me Kats…you’re nervous about tomorrow, aren’t you?”
He stayed silent, and for a moment you thought prying was a bad idea. You had only been dating for four months, since Christmas, and you didn’t want to over step any still fresh boundaries. But Katsuki sighed, shrugging softly. He figured, if there was anyone he could be real with, it was you. Plus, he was trying to learn to communicate a little better anyways.
“Yeah. ‘M nervous. Not cuz I don’t think we’ll win, but because of…you.”
You sat up, looking at him confused. “Because of me?” He huffed, sitting up and facing you. “Yeah- I know we’ll kick ass. We got the top heroes, Mr. Aizawa, and both of our classes. Even though they ain’t as strong as me, everyone can put up a fucking fight. But..I’m worried something’s going to happen to you. What if they put you on the front lines, or the villains manage to get free and end up hurting you? Taking you? What then? What if…I can’t protect you?”
You frowned hearing his worries, and at some point during the confession, took his hand. But your frown slowly turned into a soft smile, and you ran your thumb across his knuckles in an attempt too soothe him. “Kats… do you remember what you said when you confessed to me?”
He snorted, “Of course I fucking remember. I said ‘go out with me you damn nerd, it’s getting cold out here.’” You shook your head, nudging him with your shoulder. “Before that, dummy. You said-“ He cut you off “ I said ‘I’ve fucking liked you since the fitness test. I thought you were beautiful, capable, smart, and stronger than the rest of the extras in this goddamn school and if there’s anyone who can give me a run for my money to be the top hero, it’s you. And I think it’s still true’” He quoted himself, and you kissed his cheek, taking his face into your hands. “Exactly— you know I’m capable of protecting myself and putting up a fight. Trust me, I’m concerned as hell for you too, but I need you to focus on the mission and not me. I’ll be okay. We’re both gonna kick some villain ass and I promise once it’s all over I’ll be right back here laying next to you and watching that cheesy fucking all might movie you love so much.”
He growled, grabbing a pillow from behind him and gently whacking you with it. “It ain’t fucking cheesy! It’s classic fucking cinema”
You grabbed your own pillow and hit him back, giggling all the while. “Mmhm! Of course it is.”
“I’m serious Y/N!”
It was moments like this that kept Bakugo brave as the battle began. And it was moments like this that you both thought about as he took his dying breaths. He was so worried about protecting you, but you couldn’t protect him.
Pity.
——— —-
I have no remorse :) Anyways im starting to do requests! So if you have an idea for me, go ahead and put it in my asks <3
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jzprncess · 2 months ago
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love language by sza
“help me understand how you speak your love language ”
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pairing: Max Verstappen x Y/N reader
part 1/2 next part
word count: 2,823
summary: a girlfriend of a successful f1 driver decides to learn Dutch to better understand her boyfriends world—his culture, his emotions, and the language he speaks—hoping to connect more deeply and navigate the complexities of their high-speed, high-pressure relationship.
note: first time writing a fan fiction so be nice please! i don’t know how to work tumblr to the fullest so if you want to requests anything, message it to me! this will be in two parts! please leave comments so i know im doing something right!!
       ❛ ━━・♡❪ ❁ ❫♡・━━ ❜
Out of all the unexpected turns her life had taken, learning another language was never on Y/N's radar. Yet, here she was, grappling with the complexities of Dutch, staring at her laptop screen during a Zoom call with her tutor, Anne. They had been chatting frequently, especially while Max was off competing in a grueling triple-header race weekend.
Before he left, Y/N had noticed the shadow of frustration in Max's eyes, a rare shift from his usually upbeat demeanor. It wasn’t lost on her—or anyone, really. The weight of the season’s challenges had begun to press down on him, making his once confident posture seem a little more hunched, his usual optimism now clouded by self-doubt. Everyone could see it. With the way the season had started, Max had envisioned triumph. But now, in October, his hopes felt distant. He hadn’t clinched a victory since June, and every reminder of that fact only seemed to add to his frustration. Y/N wished she could lift that burden, even if just for a moment.
In an attempt to brighten his spirits, she decided to do something special for him—a gesture that would help him escape the pressure he was under. The very day he departed, Y/N found herself scouring the internet, searching for someone who could teach her some basic Dutch. Max, ever the romantic, had always whispered sweet phrases in his native tongue—whether it was giving her a compliment or simply wishing her a good morning. And though she often required translations, Y/N thought, Why not learn the language myself? It couldn’t be that difficult, right?
And so, here she was, earnestly trying to master the phrase “I love you, handsome” in Dutch, yet somehow fumbling over the words.
“Y/N, your pronunciation is getting better, but you need to keep practicing,” Anne encouraged from the other side of the screen, her fingers dancing over her keyboard. The rhythmic sound of her typing seemed to fill the space between them, as if punctuating her words with gentle encouragement. “Have you taken my advice and started watching shows in Dutch? Immersing yourself in the language will really help you improve, especially with those tricky pronunciations.”
Y/N leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms, and stared at the screen, her lips pressing together as she tried to hold back the exhaustion creeping in. She had been working hard at this—between the classes, the practice, the late nights watching Dutch shows, and the constant racing schedule with Max, it was all starting to feel like a lot. “Yeah, I’ve been talking to the TV like it’s my best friend,” she said with a small, self-deprecating chuckle, her voice sounding a bit weary. “The characters probably think I’m crazy by now. But, you know, I think I’m making progress? Or at least I hope I am.”
Anne’s eyebrows raised in an encouraging way. “Well, that’s the spirit! The more you immerse yourself, the more natural it will feel. Dutch can be tricky, especially with its sounds, but you’re not giving up, and that’s what matters.”
Y/N exhaled slowly, rubbing her temples. It had been one of those days—between working on the language and managing the quiet space Max left behind when he was away, the weight of it all was starting to wear on her. “I don’t know... I keep stumbling over the same words, Anne. Like, I feel like I’m so close to getting it, but then I hear myself speak Dutch, and it just sounds... off. I’m trying, but it’s hard to know if I’m really improving.”
Anne smiled gently from the screen, as though she understood exactly where Y/N was coming from. “That’s completely normal. Language learning isn’t a straight path. There are ups and downs, but the key is to be patient with yourself. Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress. You’re already doing so much more than most people would.”
“I guess so.” Y/N’s voice softened, her eyes drifting away for a moment, lost in thought. “I just wish I could see it, you know? Max always speaks so fluently, and when he says something sweet in Dutch, it sounds so effortless. I want to understand it all, to be able to speak with him like that without stumbling or needing translations.”
Anne nodded, her face sympathetic. “I get that. You want to connect with him in the language that’s so familiar to him, and that’s a beautiful thing. But don’t forget, language is just one part of communication. Max will appreciate your effort no matter where you are in your learning. It’s about the intention, the heart behind it. And besides, if you’re working hard at it, he’ll see that.”
Y/N let out a small sigh, leaning forward in her chair and running a hand through her hair. “I just want him to know how much I’m trying. I know it’s hard for him when the season gets tough, and I want to be able to understand him better, not just the words, but how he’s feeling... especially when he gets frustrated. I want to be able to share those moments with him in his language.” She looked back up at Anne, a mixture of fatigue and determination in her eyes. "But it's like I'm still learning a whole new world, Anne. It's a lot to take in."
Anne’s expression softened even more. “Learning a language is like learning a new way to see the world. And you’re doing it for the right reasons. Max will notice that. Even if you don’t think you’re where you want to be yet, he’s going to appreciate your effort, your commitment to him and to his language. And you’re already showing him that you care in ways most people wouldn’t.”
Y/N gave a faint smile, feeling the weight of Anne’s words settle into her. She took another deep breath, her gaze flickering back to the screen. “I hope so. I’m doing this for him, and... for me, too. It’s just hard to see the progress sometimes when you’re so deep in it.”
“Well, keep at it, Y/N,” Anne encouraged again, her voice gentle but firm. “The progress is there, even when you can’t see it. And remember, when Max comes back, you’ll have a whole new way of connecting. That’s something special. Now, how about we wrap up for today, and next time, we focus on a few of those tricky sounds you’ve been stumbling over?”
Y/N nodded, the exhaustion beginning to fade as she felt a renewed sense of determination wash over her. "Yeah, let’s do that. Thanks, Anne. Really."
Anne smiled warmly, her tone softening. “Good night, Y/N. You’re doing great. Keep going, and keep believing in yourself.”
With that, the call ended, leaving Y/N in the quiet of her room. As the screen went dark, she sat still for a moment, letting Anne’s words settle into her. She still had a long way to go with Dutch, but now, she felt a little less weighed down by it all. She stood up from the desk, stretched, and with a deep breath, made her way to the kitchen. There was more to learn, yes, but she could do it. For Max. And for herself
This had become her routine for the past few weeks—immersing herself in a new language while navigating the emotional ups and downs of Max's racing career. Each night flowed into the next, filled with lessons and the hope that her efforts would spark joy in him when he returned. In a way, she couldn’t help but feel that this small adventure might not only help her connect with him in a deeper way but also serve as a reminder that even in tough times, he had someone in his corner—someone ready to support him and learn alongside him.
Time passed, and soon enough, the hectic three-race weekend was behind them.
Y/N wasn’t exactly sure when Max would be home. The unpredictable nature of his F1 schedule made it hard to keep track of his exact arrival time. As the hours stretched on, she decided to make the most of the quiet afternoon. She started by tidying up the house, picking up scattered race memorabilia and smoothing out the couch cushions, which always seemed to get tossed around after a long weekend of travel. The kitchen was next—dishes stacked in the sink, a few crumbs left from breakfast, and the faint scent of coffee lingering in the air. She cleaned with a kind of absent-minded rhythm, her thoughts drifting between the tasks at hand and the excitement of his return.
Not wanting to spend the whole day indoors, Y/N grabbed her coat, slipped into her shoes, and decided to run a few errands to break the monotony. She mentally made a list of things she needed—a trip to the grocery store for fresh produce, perhaps a quick stop at the florist to pick up some flowers for the dining table. The gentle hum of the city as she walked outside felt like a welcome distraction. As she moved through the familiar streets, her mind kept drifting to Max—imagining his arrival later that evening and wondering how he would feel after the intense race weekend. With a small smile, she pushed the thought aside. There were errands to run, and time had a way of slipping by faster when you were busy.
After a while, Y/N decided it was time to head back home, the errands and quiet city stroll leaving her feeling a bit more tired than usual. The exhaustion crept up slowly, settling into her bones in the best way—a peaceful kind of tiredness that made the thought of being home all the more appealing. Once she stepped inside, she kicked off her shoes by the door and shrugged off her jacket, instantly feeling the comfort of her own space wrap around her.
She sank onto the couch, letting the weight of the day melt away, but it wasn’t long before she found herself wanting to do something—something simple and familiar to bring a sense of warmth and routine to the day. The kitchen seemed like the perfect place. She stepped into the kitchen, the warmth of the space a comforting contrast to the quiet of the house. Her mind immediately wandered to dessert—something sweet to fill the silence. Pulling out her phone, she swiped through a few recipe sites, curiosity leading her fingers. After a moment, she typed "Dutch desserts" into the search bar. Her eyes quickly landed on appeltaart, the iconic Dutch apple pie. The thought of the rich, spiced apples wrapped in buttery crust made her stomach rumble. It was exactly what the moment called for.
With a smile, she set the phone down and rolled up her sleeves. The comforting hum of her favorite playlist began to fill the room, chasing away the silence and replacing it with familiar tunes. As the music flowed through the speakers, she started pulling ingredients from the pantry—flour, sugar, butter, and cinnamon. She paused for a moment, letting the soft beat of the song take over as she laid everything out on the counter. The scent of cinnamon already began to stir a feeling of warmth and anticipation.
With a deep breath, she moved into the rhythm of the recipe, the steady motion of measuring, mixing, and prepping grounding her. She could already picture the golden crust and warm, sweet filling that would soon fill the kitchen, and her heart swelled with a sense of simple joy.
As she hummed softly to the tune playing in the background, completely engrossed in the rhythm of her mixing and the warmth of the kitchen, she remained oblivious to Max stepping through the front door, his footsteps barely audible on the hardwood floor. Max paused for a moment, his eyes scanning the room before he crept quietly toward the kitchen, careful not to make a sound. He peeked around the corner, his gaze falling on you as you worked your magic, your movements fluid and focused. A smile tugged at his lips as the sweet scent of apple pie hit him, and he inhaled deeply, savoring the warm, comforting aroma that filled the air.
Max moved silently behind her, his steps light as he closed the distance between them. With a smile, he slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her close against him. He rested his chin on her shoulder for a moment, savoring the warmth of her presence, before pressing a tender kiss to her soft skin. As he inhaled the sweet scent of the kitchen, his lips brushed her shoulder, and he murmured in a low, appreciative voice, "Smells amazing."
The unexpected touch causes her to flinch, a small gasp escaping her as she instinctively tenses, but her body quickly relaxes when she turns to find Max standing there. A soft smile tugs at her lips as she meets his gaze. "I didn't hear you come in," she murmurs, her voice gentle and warm as she leans slightly into his embrace, feeling the comforting weight of his presence. She glances toward the counter, her hands still lightly dusted with flour, and then looks back at him, her eyes sparkling with a mix of affection and pride. "I made apple—" Her words falter for a brief moment, and she pauses, taking a breath before finishing with a playful smile, "Ik heb appeltaart gemaakt." (i made apple pie) She lets the Dutch phrase roll off her tongue with a touch of pride, her eyes lighting up as she anticipates his reaction to the homemade treat and at the sudden Dutch.
Max chuckles, the sound warm and teasing. "Oh, dus je spreekt nu Nederlands?" (Oh, so you speak Dutch now?) His eyes narrow playfully as he takes her in, studying her with a hint of disbelief, almost as if he couldn't quite believe what he'd just heard. It takes a moment for her to process his words, the surprise registering on her face before a grin tugs at her lips. She lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head slightly as she meets his gaze. “Leren voor jou,” she responds with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, her voice light and teasing as she repeats the phrase—"Learning for you."
Max hums contentedly into her skin, his voice soft but filled with affection. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" His words are a gentle murmur, as though he's savoring the moment. She chuckles, the sound warm and light, as she wipes her hands on a nearby towel. Without missing a beat, she spins around, her eyes sparkling, and wraps her arms around him in a tight embrace. "I've missed you," she whispers into his chest, her voice filled with sincerity, as if the distance between them had only made her feelings stronger.
He gently pulls away, his hands lingering at her waist as he looks down at her, his eyes soft with affection. There’s a quiet warmth in his gaze, a tenderness that makes his heart swell with emotion. "I've missed you too," he murmurs, his voice low and sincere, the words wrapped in a quiet vulnerability. He smiles, a soft, almost teasing glint in his eyes as he adds, "Mijntje," (my little one), his tone filled with both love and playfulness. With a tender sigh, he leans down, his face drawing closer to hers. As he lowers himself, he brushes his lips gently against hers, the kiss soft and lingering, a promise of everything he feels for her in that quiet, intimate moment. 
She pulls back just enough to look into his eyes, her breath catching in the space between them. Her heart races, each beat carrying the weight of everything she feels for him. Her hands rest gently on his chest as she searches his gaze, finding warmth, safety, and a quiet promise there. With a soft sigh, she leans in just a little closer, her lips barely brushing his as she whispers, her voice trembling with sincerity, "Ik hou van jou."
The words, though soft, are heavy with all the emotions she can't quite put into words—years of trust, laughter, passion, and quiet moments, all wrapped in those simple yet profound syllables. His breath hitches, and a smile plays on his lips as he leans in, closing the small space between them with a kiss that feels like both a promise and a beginning. There’s a warmth radiating between them, an unspoken yearning that lingers in the air, electrifying yet restrained. The kiss deepens, lingering just a moment longer, igniting a flutter of anticipation in her chest—a taste of what could be. As they pull away, their eyes lock, and in that shared gaze lies a world of possibilities, a silent acknowledgment of the passion that awaits them.
⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆
tag list : @heluvsjappie
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abilouwrites · 9 months ago
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Hihi I was hoping I could request enemies to lovers Zuko x fem!reader?
The reader is a traitor to the fire nation and can bend fire (also a street peformer before she joined the gaang? 👀) 💕💕
Omg getting a request just made my day I love these!!!
I hope you like it 🫶🫶🫶
YOURE STILL A TRAITOR
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Id like to say that my life is good, that I’m happy where I am but I’m not. I’m upset and frustrated; but most of all I’m living on the street, preforming stupid acrobatic tricks just to feed myself. I’ve left everything behind. My family and wealth but most importantly someone I never wanted to live without.
I’m upside down when I see them; soft flames coming from the soles of my bare feet. Resting on my forearms and twisting and contorting my body.
“You.” A teenaged girl approaches me and I turn right side up, “you’re a fire bender aren’t you!” She says, “what’s your name?”
“Uh” I stare at her and smile nervously, “y/n Huǒ” I repeat slowly, and quietly. People of the fire nation know the traitor I’ve become outside the walls of the fire nation. Meeting the avatar, going against my friends for his life. All because I believed in something greater than all of this.
“I know you” a boy says, bandana around his forehead, “your grandpa, Yújìn. I know- or knew him” He says
“Oh.” Realization hits my face, “you’re the avatar!” A short girl slaps me.
“Wow way to tell everyone!” She retorts, god are little kids sassy.
“You could teach Aang firebending” Katara says, it’s hard not to know someone’s name when there’s wanted posters all over town.
“I’m good at fire bending but I’m no master” I say, “I thought Prince Zuko abandoned the throne to teach you” I ask
“Well he’s uh.. learning a new way to firebend” Toph laughs a little and I smile awkwardly.
“I don’t bend very traditionally” I reply, “but if it will get me off the streets I guess why not” I stand up straighter and brush my hair out of my face.
“You brought that back?!” Zuko shouts, we’ve had a long history. One that includes a betrothal, and a knife to the gut. He looks at me with disgust which I’m not surprised at.
“I’m a girl. Not a thing!” I cry out, “the only reason I’m here is because Aang needs a firebending teacher because you suck!” I scoff out at him, there’s fire burning in his hands but I never raise mine.
He groans at me, “you’ve always been like this! Even when”
“Zuko I don’t want to talk about that” I warn, there’s a plea in my voice but he accepts that, “it was a long time ago”
“Yeah like it was that long ago” he sasses and I roll my eyes.
“Zuko!”
It doesn’t take long for things to settle down; I’m essentially useless now that Zuko has gotten his bending back. Even if he did it how I told him to do it all along but whatever.
The bickering still happens, and I want to throw a knife at him but part of me still loves him. I didn’t hate being betrothed to him as much as I thought I did.
“Did you ever miss us?” I ask him, “after you were banished. I refused to Azula to give away your location and then the Avatars when you wrote me” I confess, “so I left”
“I think. At first I did, but I don’t— I don’t think we would’ve worked together. We fight all the time. I hated you at first. And you hated me” He admits, looking down slightly. He sighs heavily
“Yeah. I guess. But I didn’t really hate- hate you” I admit, “I missed you. I liked knowing you”
He nods, “I did like knowing you too, you’ve changed so much. I mean your fire it’s pink” he laughs
“Maybe it’s from my bubbly personality” I tease, he laughs
“You. Have a bubbly personality!” He laughs and it’s so good to hear, “you were so shy, like if I sneezed too hard I would scare you”
I smile softly, “I’ve changed so much sense I was twelve” my hair falls around my face and he tucks the loose strand around my ear
“What now that you’re fourteen?” He teases softly, his hand lingers behind my ear. But he removes himself quickly.
“Zuko. Im fifteen” I remind him, it’s embarrassing when he says he knows how my heart flutters and I feel weak in the knees.
“I remember, once you turned eighteen we would’ve” he looks away with a blush on his cheeks
“Yeah. Gotten married” I laugh, and I keep laughing because the thought of getting married feels so small and childish to the war we’re supposed to be preparing for.
He laughs; rolling laughs that make me keep laughing. My laughs turn short and wheezy before his face straightens, “are you ok? Can you breathe?” His face turns to me and he smiles seeing my smile. It’s a smile that makes my cheeks hurt and heart race.
“As the Prince of the fire nation. I’m supposed to hate you. Because you’ve betrayed our nation. But as Zuko. As your Zuko. In this moment I don’t feel anything but hate. I feel love for you. A fire that I never want to put out” he tells me, scooting closer to me. I let him cradle my face, “I never hated you”
“I never hated you either” a weak laugh escapes me but he kisses me before it truly develops. It’s a kiss that devours me whole, wrapping itself into my heart and soul.
“If we make it through this. Let’s make good on that betrothal”
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xximperioxx · 1 year ago
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Call It What You Want
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Phantom Ghoul x GN! Reader
Word count: 2k
Warnings: a lil spicy (I couldn’t help myself)
Note: ITS BEEN SO LONG IM SO SORRY. Seeing ghost on Saturday really got me in the mood to write again. For my man phantom. I listened to Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift while writing this. I’m a bit rusty since it’s been a bit so I apologize in advance but please enjoy 🖤🖤
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You sat by yourself in the cafeteria with a book in your hand and a coffee in the other. It was one of those cheesy smutty-romance novels you couldn’t help but love. Maybe it was because you are in a desperate need of some romance yourself after your last relationship went downhill or maybe it was a great distraction. All of your so-called friends took his side of the breakup and left you in the dust. You couldn’t help but feel lonely sometimes but books were a saving grace.
Your face remained stoic as you read, getting lost in the words in front of you.
His fingers trace the shape of her body as her breath hitches. Stopping at the edge of her panties and gives her a smirk before he brings his mouth close and brings the fabric down with his teeth. She lets out a breathy moan as she feels his teeth grazing against her ski-
“Whatcha reading?”
A shriek escapes your lips and the book falls into your lap. You quickly cover your mouth at the noise you made. Heat radiates off your cheeks as you look up and see a ghoul. Your reflection staring back at you in the goggles of his mask.
You gape at him for a minute and remember he said something. He stares back in an almost giddy manner Slowly bringing your hand down from your mouth, “W-what?”
He grins sheepishly, “Your book,” he nods to your lap, “I was wondering what you were reading.”
Your blush returns and you wave it off, “oh, just some silly little romance novel.”
His grin turns into a teasing smile, “Sureee, that’s why you dropped it so fast.”
“You scared me!” You try to defend yourself but fail as a small smile fights through. His grin grows bigger and so does yours.
“I’m (Y/N),”
He stares at your hand in front of him. He places his in yours and shakes it slowly.
“Phantom.”
Your eyes glance behind him to see his tail waving in excitement. “You’re the new ghoul Papa summoned for the band, right?”
He grows shy, “Y-yeah.”
You sense his uneasiness and give him a gentle smile, “Well, I’m excited to see you play.”
His face lights up, “Really?” You nod and he grows excited, “I have been practicing with Sodo and I’m getting really good!”
You check the time and your eyes widen as you realize you're late for a meeting with Primo. You stand up and grab your book and coffee. “I’m really sorry, I have a meeting wit-”
Phantom grabs your wrist to stop you, “Do you think maybe I can play for you sometime?”
You’re surprised. An invitation to hang out with someone? It’s been so long. You give him a happy nod.
He jumps up, “Great!”
You begin to walk away before you turn around and give the ghoul one last smile, “It was nice to meet you, Phantom!”
His tail begins to wave back and forth in excitement as he gives you a wave goodbye.
Sodo stands next to him, getting hit with Phantom’s tail. He gives a shove to his side, “Cut it out.”
“Sorry.” Phantom gives him a sheepish grin.
“We got to work on that.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You and Phantom continued to see each other after the first guitar session. He showed you tricks he was learning to play on tour, his solos, and even offered to show you how to play to which you politely declined.
He would meet you at the library when he wanted to see you. He would find a book to read and the two of you would curl up in chairs next to each other in the back of the library. Your heart fluttered the first time you had glanced over and saw him entranced by the book in his hand. His mask laying on the arm rest next to him, you got to study his features. How his hair slightly covers his face or how he bites his lip when he reads. You smiled to yourself and continued to read.
The following library visits turned to him picking out cheesy romance novels for you to read, purely judging by the covers, and you picking out some books for him. You both share a couch now and end up with his head in your lap.
You run your fingers through his hair, reading the page. Bringing your hand up, you turn the page and Phantom lets out a whine at the loss of contact.
You don’t notice, too busy with the words in front of you. Your fingernails gently scrape against his scalp. He lets out a choked moan. Yet again you don’t notice.
After a while you put your book down and glance down at the ghoul. You sigh, “You have such pretty hair. I hope you know that.”
A blush grows on his face but looks up at you steady eyes, “Yeah, well, you have such a pretty face. I hope you know that.”
Your laugh fills the quiet back section of the library.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were having a rough night. You had seen your ex and ex friends hanging out together and it triggered a panic attack.
You sat, hidden away in a back aisle of the library, with your knees to your chest. Keeping your head down, you count your breaths.
Footsteps approach you. They stop and the person sits down next to you.
Peaking, you see Phantom looking at you with a tilted head. You shake your head before hiding in your arms.
You hear him take off his mask and feel him nudge you.
Not getting anything from you, he pulls you into his side. He didn’t need to know what was wrong, he just wanted to be there. He began to trace shapes on your back.
After you have calmed down, you place your head on his shoulder. “Panic attacks suck.”
Phantom hums in agreement.
The two of you sat in silence for a while before you spoke up slowly, “Would you run away with me?”
It was quiet again. “Hypothetically,” you add.
He turns his head, “I would go to heaven and back with you.”
You stare at him with glistening eyes. You never wanted anyone more. You send Papa a quick ‘thank you’ in your mind for summoning this ghoul. You wanted nothing more than to lean in. Phantom smiles at you, “Hypothetically,” he adds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You and Phantom were the only ones in the practice room. You both sat on the couch as he practiced. He seemed off today but didn’t know how. He seemed extra twitchy. He brought up teaching you how to play again.
“Come on, (Y/N)!” He pleaded. He slid off the couch and onto his knees. He’s in front of you on his knees. You’re definitely mentally freaking out.
You rolled your eyes. “I’m not good with my fingers,” You pretend to play as a joke, “See?”
He grabs your hands, “Yeah, but I am!” Your heartbeat quickens. Your mouth goes dry and you pray he doesn’t hear the thumping of your heart. He pleads again, “I can show you.”
You don’t even know what to say. Does he know what he’s doing to you right now? “I-..”
He slowly gets up, hovering over you. He licks his lips and whispers, “Please, (Y/N).”
He nuzzles his head against yours before your neck.
“You’re not talking about the guitar anymore, are you?” you breathed out shakily.
You feel him shake his head, “Please let me touch you,” he whines into your neck.
You’re so close to hyperventilating, you can barely hear what he said. He slides back down on his knees, his hands gripping your thighs as he looks back up with you with needy eyes.
You grab his face and lean down to kiss him. Another whine leaves his lips as you touch him. His skin almost burning to the touch.
The door suddenly opens and in comes Swiss and Sodo. You jump back embarrassed.
Phantom whips his head around to the other ghouls and growls. Your eyes widen at the sound.
“Well well well. What do we have here?” Swiss grins.
Sodo elbows Swiss hard in the stomach, “Calm down Phan, it’s okay.”
Quickly getting up, you apologize. You’re too embarrassed. You’re not sure what you’re apologizing for but it’s the only thing coming out of your mouth.
Grabbing your stuff, you head to the door, “I’m sorry,” you look at Phantom, “I’ll see you later, okay?”
He nods. Realization of what happened hits him and he feels just as embarrassed and guilty.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Papa announced they would be performing at the Abbey, you were unsure if you wanted to go. It had been a week since the practice room incident and you hadn’t seen Phantom since.
Your thoughts have been too loud since. Maybe you offended him somehow or maybe he didn’t like you anymore. You’d gone to the library everyday in hopes he’d show up. Maybe you’ve read too many romance novels to still have your hopes up.
It was the night of the ritual and Siblings around you were buzzing with excitement. It had been a while since Papa performed for the Abbey and would be the first time the two new ghouls were to be performing on stage. Primo had essentially threatened you to come after you mentioned you were unsure. Needless to say, the old man can be intimidating.
The room is crowded and you make your way to the back of the room. You keep your head low, not particularly in the mood to see your ex and ex friends.
You felt anxious enough. Not only for seeing Phantom but you were nervous for him performing. He’s practiced so hard the past few months. You only hoped the siblings loved him on stage as much as you do.
The lights dim and screams erupt as Papa and his ghouls emerge on stage. You see him. Your anxiety disappearing as he begins to play Kaisarion.
You cover your mouth to hide your smile. He’s doing amazing. He displays such confidence you haven’t seen in him yet. He looks like a daydream. Your daydream.
Throughout the concert, he has become a favorite with the siblings as he blows kisses to the crowd and shows off his tricks like playing the guitar under his leg. Copying Sodo as he performs to the crowd.
You were unsure if he had seen you as the ritual nears its end. But Phantom had seen you as soon as he came out on stage. A light shined on you and he nearly tripped over himself. He knew if he stared at you, he’d get distracted and mess up the song.
The ritual ends with Square Hammer. The crowd singing loudly, nearing screaming the lyrics. With the final note, Papa thanks everyone for joining them. You cheer loudly with your heart full of pride. You need to tell him.
Phantom puts his guitar down before jumping off the stage. He has his head down as he makes his way through the crowd. He didn’t want to waste another moment without you.
He lifts his head up seeing you, you give him a small smile and little wave. He reaches you, pulling down his balaclava that was covering his mouth.
“I’m sorr-” he shuts you up by pulling you into a kiss.
You’re in shock for a moment before placing your hands on his and kissing his back.
Slowly pulling away with a smile, you both catch your breath. Your hands find the bottom of his mask, taking it off before pulling him into another kiss.
For the first time in your life, you didn’t care what anyone thought of you.
He pulls away first and looks down at you, “Hi.”
You grin, still holding his hands, “Hi.”
Giving his hand a squeeze, “You were amazing. I’m so proud of you,” you emphasized.
His hands caress your face, “I’m so in love with you,” he confesses.
You beam, “I’m so in love with you.”
The two of you walk out, his calloused hand in yours.
“So was that like a scene in one of your romance books?” He teases.
“Even better.” You cuddle into him.
“We can recreate the other scenes later.”
Your laugh echoes in the hall.
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julilovesyou444 · 1 year ago
Text
my first ~ tom kaulitz
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background ~ love confession that leads to something else, all from Tom’s point of view.
warnings ~ no proofreading, mentions of drinking, mentions of smoking, smut, p in v, praise, oral fem receiving, breeding ig? idk tbh but it’s naughty sooooo🙉🙈 be prepared LMAO
a/n ~ heres a small blurb, writers block is going insane rn. also someone called my writing “corny” or something… like if you don’t like it, then DONT READ‼️what do u want me to say? sorry??? nah. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME EVER WRITING ANYTHING LIKE THIS BESIDES HEAD SO PLS BE NICE IDK WHAT IM DOING. I learned everything from here and wattpad so don’t blame me😓 thanks for the love too
~
I was sitting on some raggedy couch, girls practically throwing themselves at me. we had finished a concert about an hour ago, and i insisted that we partied to celebrate. I had no idea I’d be so miserable. I slowly sipped my drink, looking around. girls were saying all kinds of things to me, touching me, but they were all so incoherent. I didn’t care about them right now. I couldn’t focus on them while I was looking for her.
my eyes continued their search throughout the crowded room until they found what they were looking for. there she was. standing off to the side, drink in her hand, smile on her face. bill and I had met her right before we started our band. she had always been so close with bill. i had been so jealous of that. i wanted to be as close to her as she was with bill, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let myself. the feelings she made me feel were so unfamiliar, and they scared me. I hated not being in control, and whenever I was around her, I lost complete control over myself and my thoughts.
she looked so beautiful, tonight. of course I would never tell her that. it wasnt my place. we didn’t talk to each other like that. even though I wish we did, at least sometimes. I adored how her clothes hugged tightly to her figure and how confident she acted without being cocky. bill had invited her on tour with us. I was reluctant, I didn’t know how I would feel with her being with us all the time. but I didn’t want to be the only one to object, so I accepted.
it was always fun with her, she knew how to electrify a room and light it up instantly. i avoided time alone with her. I hoped she didn’t think I was doing it because I didn’t like her. i just got… nervous.
I watched her from the couch until her eyes connected to mine. I thought she would look away, but she didn’t. She brought her cup to her mouth and took a slow sip, her eyes never leaving mine. the lights from the party flashed in her eyes, making them sparkle as if diamonds were encrusted in them. I could stare into them all day. I couldn’t read the look on her face. I couldn’t tell how she was feeling about this; about me.
Some random girl shoved my shoulder, causing me to look over.
“Can you stop being so boring? I think i might get another drink…”, she complained and slurred , clearly drunk. I rolled my eyes and sat her on the couch, getting up as I did so. My back was turned to the party and I tried to get this hammered girl to calm down. Eventually, I was able to get her to just chill out on the couch. I turned around, wanting to see if she was still watching me. To my disappointment, she was gone. I looked around. I looked around the party some more, and again, and again.
“where the fuck did she run off to?”, i muttered to myself, slowly turning myself in a circle, trying to locate her possible location. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted her.
That’s when my eyes landed on a set of stairs that led upstairs. I walked over, randoms saying hi to me as i did. music was blaring and the room had cans and solo cups lining the floor. it reeked of bad weed and alcohol. I made my way to the top of the stairs. I came at a stop when I got to the upstairs. it was still loud, but definitely not as loud as it was downstairs. there was a single long hallway, lined with tall doors, and at the end of the hallway was a big bay window that faced the back of the house. no lights were turned on, but the moon shone brightly and dimly lit up the corridor. I saw her, sitting down on the little cushions by the window, gazing out. she didn’t know I was here with her. the moonlight danced on her skin, illuminating her so perfectly.
I walked slowly over to her. As soon as I came in her eyesight, I noticed she was a bit startled, but relaxed when she saw it was just me.
she gazed back up at the night sky, the millions of stars reflecting onto her pupils. she looked so ethereal with the moon light dancing on her skin.
“the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”, she softly asked, as she interrupted my thoughts. she looked over at me with the sweetest smile.
I wasn’t even looking at the moon, just at her.
“Very…”, I mumbled.
She smiled at me and looked back towards the window.
“What are you doing up here? I thought you were enjoying yourself.”, she said. I scoffed.
“I usually enjoy these parties, but tonight, I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it I guess.”
“Really? You had so many girls all over you… I would’ve thought that you’d be in heaven.”, she laughed. I smiled and shook my head a little.
“I don’t know what’s going on with me… I just didn’t want them like I usually would’ve.”, i shrugged.
“Is anything bothering you?”, she asked, looking genuine.
“the tom I know would never not be enjoying the fact that so many girls were all over them.”, she added.
“I don’t know… it’s just that, I’ve been dealing with some shit and I don’t know how to handle it.”
“maybe if you tell me, I can help. I know we aren’t like best friends or anything but you know I’m always here for you, right?”, she asked, looking up at me and placing her hand on my arm.
“yea, yea, I know… I think it’ll feel good to finally tell someone. I know a lot of the times I get perceived as a guy who only likes girls for things like sex and their bodies, and to be honest, it’s somewhat true. there’s just this one girl, this one girl, that I like way way way more than that, and I don’t know what to do or how to tell her.”, I vented.
“does she like you back?”
“that’s the thing… I don’t know.”
“oh, c’mon Tom, everyone likes you, im sure she does too.”, she tried to reassure me.
“you think?”
“positive. uh… sorry if this is invasive or something, but who is this girl? just curious…”, she said quickly. I cocked my head and smiled at her curiosity.
“Why do you wanna know?”, i asked.
“Um… nevermind, forget it. I don’t know why I wanted to know…”, she looked away from me.
“well i can tell you something about her…”, I started. I decided it was now or never. I had a feeling that my feelings were mutual.
“Hm?”, she said, looking back to me. I leaned down and let my mouth hover by her ear.
“she’s standing right in front of me.”, i said, just above a whisper. I could feel her tense up. I looked at her face. her eyes her wider and her mouth, slightly agape.
“what?”, was all she said. I stood up straight.
“You heard me.”, i said.
“you can’t just say that and not say anything else.”, she protested.
I shrugged.
“… are you being serious?”, she asked in a hushed tone. I looked over at her and was met with her big eyes.
“dead serious.”
“So you actually-”
“Like you? Mhm, yep, surprised me a bit too.”
She didn’t say anything and just stood there silent for a moment, processing everything I just told her.
“how does that make you feel, hm?”, I asked.
she didn’t say anything for a moment, but I watched her previous face turn into one of confidence.
“good, tom. it makes me feel good to know you feel the same way I feel about you.”
i smirked.
“you already knew that though, didn’t you?”, she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“pfft. Of course I did.”
~
I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind us. as soon as I turned around, she was all over me. she pulled me by my neck down to kiss her, and i let her. her hands moved to the sides of my jaw, pulling me in as if I could get any closer. I pressed my hands on the small of her back, bringing her body flush against mine. my hands found a comfortable position on her hips. we kissed so much, I felt I was floating. her hands roamed my body as we did, feeling my skin where-ever she could. I used my hands to back her up against the counter. I moved them to be under her thighs, and she quickly got the memo. I hoisted her up so she was sitting on the edge of the counter. this way, it was easier to get to other places i wanted to explore.
I pulled back admired her for a second. sitting on the counter, just waiting for me to come back. I couldn’t stay away for long.
I moved my lips to her neck, leaving little soft and short kisses all over. I began to lightly suck, and as time went on, I starting going harder. she gave me the exact reaction I wanted, her little gasps and panting motivating me to do more.
I traveled from her neck, to her collarbone, then to a little lower. my hands found the bottom hem of her shirt. I looked up at her.
“can I?”
she quickly nodded and that was all I needed to see. I took her shirt off.
I felt my breath get caught in my throat. she was wearing a small lacy black bra.
“holy…”, I breathed out.
i snaked my hands around her torso and unclasped it, never breaking eye contact.
“you’re so beautiful, y’know that?”, i said huskily.
“thank you.”, she said, blushing. she looked away from my eyes as I peeled the bra off of her.
“hey, don’t be shy now. I’ve always thought you were beautiful, always wanted to tell you that. I’m glad I can now.”, i said, reassuring her. she looked back at me and smiled. I kissed her, much softer and gentler than I had been. my hands made their way to her boobs, massaging them slightly. I felt her breathing pick up a little. I kept kissing her, but I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss at her reaction. i played with her nipples between my two fingers, simply trying to get a reaction out of her. I successfully did just that, little noises escaping her throat as I continued. I pulled away.
“you like that?”
her eyes were screwed shut as she fastly nodded. I looked at her body as I kept playing with it. she was so hot. so so hot. I was so turned on, just at the sight of her.
“I wanna take care of you. Can I do that?”, I asked, my hands tracing up and down her thighs.
“please.”, she said. i smirked. her desperation made me want to pleasure her all the much more.
“I don’t do this that much, but for you, I will. you’re special.”
she opened her eyes and watched as i moved down to my knees. I used to hands to ride her skirt up, and then placed them on her knees to slowly open her legs. I loved teasing her. she was wearing light pink underwear, heavily contrasting the bra I had just taken off. There was already a little wet spot on them.
“Awwww, you’re already so excited, princess.”, i cooed, my fingers lightly brushing over the spot. she breathed in quickly at the contact. she lifted her hips and let me take her underwear off. I stuck them in my back pocket and refocused myself on the sight in front of me. I feverishly left kisses on her inner thighs while mumbling praises to her.
“so…so… pretty.”, I murmured.
I kept getting closer and closer to the place she needed me to touch her most. I could tell she was getting needy.
I ran my fingers down her slit, collecting all of the wetness that had formed. i stuck them in my mouth and watched as her mouth fell open due to my actions. i put my head back in between her legs and started licking her clit. my hands were gripping her thighs, keeping them all the way apart. she gasped and threw her head back as I kept going. I used one of my hands to put one of my fingers in her. I looked up and saw her eyebrows knit together and her nose scrunched up. her mouth was slack and so many pretty noises were leaving. her one hand gripped the edge of the counter while the other one tangled itself in my hair. after a good couple minutes, I decided to switch it up and moved my tongue down to her hole and my fingers rubbed her sweet spot. this did things for her, and I could tell how much pleasure she was receiving. she started repeating my name, over and over again. I started to pick up the pace, and her moans grew louder. I was thankful for how loud it was outside, but I also wouldn’t have cared if people could hear us.
I felt her legs tighten around my head, and then begin to shake. her chest was heaving, up and down, uo and down. she kept telling me she was close, but it was hard to hear her because she was so out of breath. I kept the pace I had, fucking her with my tongue, as she rode out her high. as she came, I made sure to lock up every last bit. she managed to open her eyes and watch me as i did.
“you’re so hot.”, she panted out, catching her breath. I stood up, now wanting to get a little pleasure for myself. I took her off the counter and spun her around so her backside was against me. I lowered my head to her ear.
“you were so good for me, love. I love seeing you come undone, can we do that a second time?”, I asked, my lips pressed to her ear.
“mhm.”, she nodded, making eye contact with me in the mirror. with that, I bent her over the counter and unzipped my pants. I pushed her entire skirt up all the way so I could get a look at her entire ass. she was bent over, waiting for me. if I was able to take a picture, I would’ve. she looked so incredibly good. I didn’t think she knew how much I had dreamed for this moment.
I ran my tip through her fold, teasing her a bit. she was already wet from her previous climax, so I didn’t need to prepare her too much. I pushed myself into her, but not the whole thing. I watched her face in the mirror. she gripped onto the counter top, and her jaw was slack once again. I let her get comfortable before pushing myself in further, all the way until i bottomed out. she moaned, letting her head fall. I waited a moment for her to get used to my size before I began to steadily move. her head was still down, facing the counter. I used my hand to grip her chin and move her face back up. I started to move a little faster.
“I want you to watch yourself.”, i said. she started to watch all the faces I was making her do in the mirror, and I was going crazy over it. my eyes kept darting between her face and then down, to see myself pound into her.
“mmm, you’re taking me so well, baby. you’re being so good for me, right now.”, I groaned out. during the whole thing, she was a moaning mess. I loved it. I loved how vocal she was about how good I was making her feel.
my arm wrapped itself around her and found her clit again, rubbing figure eights on it. I watched the pure ecstasy spread across her. I kept going all the way in, and almost all the way out before pushing my length back into her at such a fast pace, I knew she would be a mess in minutes. I knew I would be too.
And I was right. after only a small amount of time, she was having trouble keeping her head up.
“Tom! im- im so close again-“, she cried out as I didn’t let myself slow down.
“I know baby, I am too-“
I let my other hand massage her ass, slapping it a couple times too.
I wasn’t lying when I told her I was close. I had been for a while too, but I was holding out for her. I felt the knot in my stomach keep growing and growing, but I could feel it starting to become undone.
“Tom- im, im coming-“, she panted out. her boobs bounced every single time I went in and out.
“me too”, my eyes screwed shut as reached my climax. I felt her reach hers right before me, her legs shaking and a string of moans in the air. that pushed me over the edge, and I felt the knot become completely undone. I groaned as I released into her, my seed dripping out of her hole. I rode out my high for a little, but eventually stopped moving. she was catching her breath.
I pulled over and quickly cleaned myself before zipping my pants back up. I grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned her up too as she resteadied herself. i insisted on helping her get dressed again, despite her saying she could do it on her own. I put her bra and shirt back on. we kept giggling as I did. high off of life. I had wanted to keep the panties i pocketed, but she begged for them back. they were her favorite pair. she put them back on and then readjusted her skirt and hair in the mirror. I leaned against the wall, observing as she did.
“I didn’t think i would ever tell you I liked you.”, I admitted.
“why not?”, she asked, still fixing her hair.
“I think I was too nervous… you know I feel like your the first real crush I’ve ever had.”
“awww, im your first???”, she joked around.
“yes, you’re my first.”, I rolled my eyes playfully. I crossed my arms across my chest.
she turned around and hugged me, placing her head on my chest. she was smiling so big at my confession. I loved her smile. I loved everything about her.
“it’s okay tom, you were mine too.”, she said.
“Wait what?”, I hugged her back with a confused look on my face.
“I’ve liked you since I was like nine, silly. that’s why I was always so close with bill and not as much as you, I was always too like scared to be around you because I had a crush on you.”, she confessed.
“Really??? How did I not know this??”, I asked, shocked.
“I don’t know, you’re just really oblivious, I guess.”, she teased.
I laughed and looked down at her.
finally, i got what I had wanted.
her.
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dark-and-kawaii · 6 months ago
Note
I just want you to know I am STILL thinking about Mr. Kieran Elendighet and Rolan.
I just know he would bully Rolan into terrible contest. Like who can kiss you better, who can make you cum faster, and who makes you scream the loudest. They hate each other and are constantly using you to get back at each other. Though even when Kieran has you bouncing on his cock he holds your neck down to fully swallow Rolans cock. Rolans cock is twitching from overstimulation and your eyes are full of tears from the lack of oxygen. "Gag on it..." His deep voice would growl before Rolans Cumming down your throat.
-I have a sickness that can only be healed by teifling cock...
Note: I would like to take a minute and express how much I love you for this *gives you the biggest smooch of all time* ( ੭ ˘ ³˘)੭‎°。⋆♡‧₊˚ I had so much fun writing this and oh my gosh it’s just pure smut… Thank you for giving me such a lovely ask/gift!!! I even threw in some gifs for you!!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Content: Teasing - Tail Play - Asphyxiation - Deep Throat - Creampies - Pet Names - They Stretch Your Cunt Nicely - Oc Kieran - Breeding
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Pairings: Rolan x F!Reader/Tav x Kieran
ੈ✩‧₊˚ Extra Note: I hope you all give this a chance!!! Kieran won’t disappoint you I promise, neither will Rolan as we all know *winks*
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Your breath hitched when you felt his hand wrap around your neck. Manhandling you closer until your back was pressed flush against his chest. Kieran’s fingers slowly glide up from your neck to your cheeks, forcing you to look Rolan in the eyes while his tail glides up that short skimpy dress of yours, “I think this little kitten deserves a punishment for dressing like a common whore, don't you agree Rolan?”
He was the only thing holding you upright while he teased you with his tail, running the tip of it along your inner thighs and grazing over the lips of your already soaked cunt, “i-im not a whor-“ Kieran’s fingers gripped around your cheeks, pursing your lips as the tips of his nails dug into the sides of your mouth. The sting of pain forced your lips to part, and without hesitation his tail probed your tight little entrance.
“C’mon, Rolan. Don't be shy now. This little kitty cat is basically asking for us to use her. Wouldn't want to deny her such a request would you? Or are you scared she’ll be drooling over me by the end of the night. Maybe even beg for me to keep her all to myself for the rest of her life? I can just imagine the things I would do to her if that were the case, maybe even let you watch as I defile her for years to come so you learn a thing or two.”
Rolan didn't respond immediately. Instead, he kept his gaze locked with yours, his fists tightening… “I don’t need to learn anything from you, especially not about a woman. We’ve bedded countless of times, I know what she needs better than anyone else, and I can tell you with confidence she doesn't need someone like you-”
Kieran just laughed, his tail slipping deeper inside you before curling and twisting. His grip on your cheeks loosened slightly, allowing you to moan freely from the stimulation he was giving you, your hands finding his horns to keep yourself from collapsing, “Prove it. She may love the way your cock fills her, but you know…” the sharp end of his tail prods a particularly sensitive spot within your gummy walls, making you shudder, and moan loudly. Kieran chuckled in amusement, his voice a low hum next to your ear, his breath fanning across your cheek, “there’s more to sex than just that pathetic prick of yours, dear Rolan.”
His words were like a challenge to Rolan. And the tiefling wizard had already made his mind up about taking on that challenge. Without another word Rolan leaned in close and kissed you hard, his teeth scraping along your bottom lip as he pulled back. There was something in the way he looked at you now that almost frightened you, though not in a bad way, it was a look that promised both pain, and pleasure.
They both had you pinned to the bed, whimpering as you felt the tip of Kieran’s cock bully its way inside you, immediately resorting to you begging. 
"p-please, Rolan... Kieran... Please, please, pleasepleaseplease-ah~!"
Kieran cupped his pointed ear, “What’s that? You're going to have to speak louder, princess. We can't understand you if you mumble.” he grinned, fully pushing into you in one rough thrust, “so tight~”
“Kie-ran-," you whined, still out of breath. “S’too big!” 
“Ah, I bet Rolan’s never filled you quite like this, has he? Bet he’s never heard you say such things about him hmm?”
You couldn't answer. Not when he was thrusting in and out of you at a pace that left you a panting mess. The feeling of him dragging against your sensitive walls, his claws digging into your skin, your ass bouncing off of his lap with each rough snap of his hips. You couldn't form a coherent thought, much less an answer. Nor could you move any other part of your body, your hands felt as if they were glued to his horns, holding him to you as if afraid he’d disappear before giving you that sweet release you craved.
Rolan watched as Kieran fucked you like some kind of doll, his scowl never faltering at the other tieflings words... ‘bet he’s never heard you say such things about him…’ his mind was running rampant, wondering if you had ever thought of him like that before. But as he continued watching the display, his anger slowly morphed into something else entirely.
He was jealous.
His body moved before his mind could catch up. Grabbing a handful of your hair, and yanking your head back as he pushed his lips to yours in a hard kiss. It was possessive, hungry, and needy. Like he was trying to claim you, his eyes burning holes into Kieran who smirked right back at him.
As much as he hated the tiefling, Rolan couldn't deny he had a certain way with women that he himself had never mastered. Kieran was the type of man that took charge, knew what he wanted, and wasn't afraid to take it. He was a man that always got what he wanted, and that pissed Rolan off.
You were a moaning mess beneath them both, your arms reaching back, clawing at Rolan in hopes of pulling him closer. Kieran laughed at the sight, his tongue licking the shell of your ear, “Such a greedy girl, isn't she, Rolan? She just can't get enough. Her cunt keeps sucking me in like it doesn't want to let me go. Tell me, Rolan, have you ever had a cunt this desperate for your cock?”
Rolan ignored him, too focused on his lips traveling along your neck, stopping briefly to bite at the junction between your neck and shoulder, before trailing down further. Sucking a perky nipple into his mouth, his hand still fisting the locks of your hair. He was going to give you a reason to think of him, and not that insufferable tiefling.
As if he had sensed his thoughts, Kieran wrapped his tail around Rolan’s arm, forcing him closer to you, “That mouth of hers seems a bit empty, why not fill it?”
Rolan’s mouth opened, a protest ready on the tip of his tongue, but as his eyes traveled back down to you, ‘prove it…’ his words died in his throat. He gripped your chin, “Be a dear, and open up for me? I want to see those lips of yours stretched wide around my cock. You can do that for me, can't you?”
As soon as your mouth was open, Kieran wrapped your hair around his fist and shoved you down onto Rolan’s cock, “gag on it, whore ~”
You struggled to breathe, your lungs burning with each labored breath that you were able to take. You wanted to pull away, wanted to catch your breath, but you couldn't. You choked and gagged on his Rolan’s, your vision swimming with tears, and black spots clouding the edges.
You can barely hear as you begin to dig your nails into Rolan’s thighs, leaving red scratches down his flesh. This only caused Rolan to groan, “Gods- Da-mn it- Kieran-“ Rolan winced, his cock already twitching, ready to release deep into the back of your throat, and you could feel him getting bigger, his cock throbbing, “if you're going to keep forcing her down like that at least give her a break every once and a while-gh~! Hells-! You're going to make her pass out!”
The sound of Kieran's chuckle brought your focus back on him, the bastard was laughing at your struggles, his thrusts picking up in speed, pounding into you like an animal, “The way her pussy is clenching around my cock is proof enough that she’s enjoying your cock for once.”
Despite you struggling weakly against the two, your eyes rolling back into your head, saliva dripping down your chin, your nose running, and your lungs screaming for air… He wasn’t wrong, you were enjoying it. You loved the way he forced you down, making you gag and choke on Rolan. How he was mercilessly thrusting into your sensitive cunt, the tip of his cock hitting a sweet spot deep within you.
And before darkness could consume you, you felt a warmth fill your womb and shoot down your throat and into your stomach, the hot, viscous milky fluids, making you groan, the sound vibrating around Rolan, making him groan.
Kieran pulled you up, forcing Rolan to slip from your throat, his own cum still painting your swollen lips and face. Kieran turned your head and kissed you roughly, his tongue exploring the insides of your mouth, moaning as he tasted Rolan on your tongue.
"m'not done yet princess." …
Rolan’s rough pace made the wooden bed rattle, as if though it was at its breaking point, much like you were. 
“F’Kieran! R-Rol-an!!! S’too b-big! S’too big!!! R-Rolan!!! Y-ou too big,” Rolan couldn’t even hear your pathetic babbling anymore, too focused on chasing his own high “ah~ f’lease slow d-down” 
“Ah! Rolan!” You cried, ”not, sup-suppose-“ the tip of his cock kocked against the entrance of your cervix, sending cramps shooting through your abdomen. You couldn’t tell if it hurt, or if it felt good…
Rolan growled, his hands wrapping around your neck, squeezing. Kieran sat with his legs crossed, his eyes watching the show, and a hand on his cock, slowly stroking himself with a large grin spreading across his face, “I’m impressed you can make her scream like that. It seems you have more skills than I gave you credit for. What a good boy, Rolan~ You should thank him, don't you agree, little kitten? After all, he is putting on such a nice performance just for you.”
“Kie-Kieran-“ You sniffled, looking at him with those big teary doe eyes, “Pl-please”
“Please what, princess?” 
“Ple-please- ma-make him slow- dow-ah!!!” 
“Don’t be cruel now, our dear Rolan deserves to cum in that sloppy pussy of yours. I can see his cock bulging out of your belly, it looks painfully delicious. Maybe if you ask him nicely, he will give you a nice creampie~? You would love that, wouldn't you? Filled to the brim with his hot, warm cum, your greedy little womb drinking both our seed to see which of us will swell that flat tummy of yours~”
You shudder, his words alone making your stomach do flips, and a heat to pool in your core. Your eyes glaze over, your mind already imagining it. Kieran smirks, licking his lips as he sees the expression on your face before bending down to kiss your forehead.
A rough thrust causes you to cry out, and you were sure between Rolan and Kieran they left bruises all along your waist with how hard they both had been gripping your hips throughout the night. 
Looking down at where the two of you were connected, Rolan groaned at the way you were stretched around his girth… It was enough to make him come undone. Spurting thick ropes of his cum deep within your abused cunt, his seed slipping past your tiny cervix, ring painting the inside of your womb white alongside Kieran's. 
You weren’t sure how many orgasms they had “forced” out of you. All you could remember was the two of them switching between fucking you, and forcing your mouth down onto their cocks, before they would switch again, their cocks never softening. 
Kieran, the bastard had the nerve to smirk at the two of you, and wave goodbye, like nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t been fucking you raw alongside Rolan. He just leaves without so much as a second thought.
Leaving you, a panting, sweaty, and cum filled mess in Rolan’s arms.
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purpleph4se · 4 months ago
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nsft alphabet - hwei
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lukai hwei x reader
warnings | smut, afab!reader, switchy hwei
a/n | can i say how cute he looks in this gif omg i love him sm. but um hello again ykw back again with the most random shit ever. tryna get back to writing slowly but surely, the nsft alphabet is just to dip my toes back into writing since i’ve haven’t i so long. so i got into league of legends which i hate myself for but now im obsessed. i started playing lol for jhin but when hwei came out i was done for. as always enjoy my nonsense.
A - aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
- oh he’s so soft and gentle. doesn’t matter if he was on top or bottom he would just want to lay with you after, he’s absolutely mesmerized by the afterglow, especially how it looks on you. just wants to hold you close, taking every emotion in. 
B - body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
- on you - he could never pick one thing he likes about you just because he simply loves all of you. might sound corny but he loves how you make him feel more than anything, he loves loving you. 
- on him - his hands i think. he’s not self absorbed, but his hands are what help him create his art so he keeps them nice and pretty without really realizing. also he can’t help but melt when you kiss his hands at any moment. and he enjoys the sounds he can pull out of you with just his hands.
C - cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
- loves to cum inside of you. i feel like it's not even in a possessive manner but he feels more intimate and closer to you. like he’s literally part of you now. likes to cockwarm you after. gets extremely embarrassed seeing it drip out after and offers to clean it up for you  <3
D - dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
- oh to be tied up and at your mercy. the desire of being roped and gagged, laid down on the bed and at your utter mercy as begging you with his gaze to straddle his hips and use his cock to your heart's content. he needs you to take your pleasure from him, to use his body to make yourself feel good, while he whines into his gag. 
E - experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
- little to none i feel. he has had crushes before and small flings (jhin) with partners but it never went far enough especially after the incident. but once it does happen i think he’d take it real slow, to really get to know what he likes and what his partner does, super gentle but quickly learns. 
F - fave position (this goes without saying)
- visual link (nsfw!) = 1 2
- missionary or cowgirl, just any position where he can see your face. he just adores being able to look into your eyes. it just makes it all the more intimate. his arms are wrapped around your torso, your chest pressed up against his as he sloppily thrusts into you, wantonly moaning into the curve of your neck. gets so desperate that not even fucking you properly, just grinding himself into you. loves being able to kiss you and swallowing your sweet noises and vice versa. would live in your skin if he could,,
G - goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous?)
- i wouldn’t say he would make jokes but he’s able to laugh something off and he wouldn’t be bothered if something embarrassing happened. 
H - hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)
- not super hairy, the hair he does have is sparse and thin. hes quite bare actually, does do a little self grooming to keep himself neat.
I - intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
- so so intimate!!! he doesn’t call it sex or fucking it’s ~lovemaking~ in his book. his main turn on is to show how much he loves you and loves sharing pleasure with you. spoils you from head to toe with adoring kisses, fingers painting the shape of your body as they worship each groove, curve, and imperfection—he whispers quiet praise. to hwei, you are the most precious thing in his life, and he needs you to understand that fact to the very depths of your soul.
J - jerk off (masturbation headcanon) 
- yes and no. my depraved mind is telling me yes, bc i’m just imagining him desperately humping a pillow while whining out your name. but also realistically, he might just be too caught up in his own mind to even think about it, especially if he already has you to take care of him. 
K - kinks (one or more of their kinks)
- praise - he lives to praise you. telling you that he loves you, nudging his face into your neck and moaning, “you’re so beautiful, my love”. and he also thrives off of attention from you, too. poor boy is not used to hearing praise, so when you first tell him, “good boy”, or “you’re perfect”, it sends a shiver down his spine and ensures to pleasure you harder so he can hear it often.
- submission - as well as living to praise you it goes hand in hand with living to serve you. wants to make you feel good at every second of the day, at your beck and call, damn near worships the ground you walk on. (could spend hours in between your legs but i’ll elaborate on that later). but when and if you take control and ~take care of him~ he’s such a good boy and he follows your every command without question. be sure to praise the poor boy to really break him~
L - location (favorite places to do the do)
- his preference is in his own bed or house, where he can be assured that it’s just the two of you and you have all the time in the world together. he’s not really picky about where in your shared home, just as long as he can take his time. however, one days he gets especially desperate for you and he can’t take his time he wouldn’t mind taking you to a secluded little area at koyehn, he’d feel so bad but he cannot deny the thrill of reveling in the desperation.
M - motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
- he wants to make you happy all the time, and he’s learned there is no greater bliss than coming undone for one another. so just just knowing he’s got the power to make you writhe and sob with pleasure is enough to get him going.
N - nope (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
- would never never hurt you whether it be physically or emotionally, he’d never degrade you or hit you. he cannot bear the thought of hurting you. to hwei, your body is a temple for his reverence and worship—never to be hurt by a violent or cruel hand.
O - oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)
- hwei prefers giving. not because he doesn’t like receiving it but rather that he just too sensitive (and he’d rather just give you pleasure).
- receiving - he gets rather shy, because of all the noise he makes and just how early and quickly he finishes, often without warning. but of course you don’t mind.
- giving - there’s just something so absolutely beautiful about being able to bring you so much pleasure and listening to your sweet voice rise an octave higher while lapping at your most sensitive parts. he gets so pussydrunk and loves to have you on his tongue for hours. when it comes to skill, he wasn't particularly skilled at going down on you at first. but with a little gentle instruction, hwei now makes your legs tremble and give out with only a few swipes of his talented tongue. sit on his face plz 
P - pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)
- it could really depend! usually it’s always slow paced and sensual, almost always containing foreplay to worship you. if you ask hwei he can go faster and treat you a little roughly, but he likes to take his time, enjoying the connection of your bodies completely and thoroughly, his every move laced with sensuality and passion. he likes to find that perfect little spot within you and land every hard, deep thrust right against it, making you shiver and curl your toes. however, if he’s feeling particularly desperate….
Q - quickies (their opinions on quickies, how often?)
- on days he’s desperate and especially needy he would actually initiate a quickie, just one look at the vivid pink swirling in his eyes and you know. both of you often have to cover the other’s mouth to muffle any sounds that try to come out. but you do find yourself braced against the wall with your legs around the painter's slim waist fairly often. he walks out with so much shame afterwards tho.
R - risky (are they game to experiment? do they take risks?)
- pretty open minded, likes to explore with you in the bedroom. he’s always interested in trying different positions or indulging you with different kinks and scenarios. when it comes to risks, hwei would not do anything to harm you physically or any heavy degradation to you. 
S - stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
- he really strikes me as someone with low stamina. he's usually spent after one round, poor thing! but you are unbothered by it and hweis lack of stamina certainly doesn't stop him from letting you leave the bed unsatisfied. just because he’s too exhausted for one more round, doesn't mean he can't make you cum in other ways~
T - toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
- now let me think of this realistically in runeterra terms…most likely no, simply because the thought hasn’t crossed his mind before and i don't think vibes would exist. but if they did however! and you told him he’d be very interested to try them with you. and also strap ons particularly piqued his interest! 
U - unfair (how much they like to tease)
- once he gains the confidence he can be a little bit of a tease, but he gives in so easily. just one little pout on your pretty lips has him giving in to you. if he does tease you it’s when he worships you which can sometimes be so long and intense, you actually beg hwei to take you already. but if anything, he loves to be teased and wants you to keep teasing him until he’s sobbing for you. 
V - vocal (how loud are they, what noises do they make)
- whining, whimpering, sobbing the whole nine yards babe. poor boy is always in tears at the end. at first he was so shy about the sounds he makes. he went as far as trying to muffle them by kissing you, or burying his face into your neck, releasing only short whines and whimpers every now and again. as he opened up to you heard how he loses himself in pleasure, his volume rises and his moans and whimpers grow in number and intensity, as well as volume. as he nears his peak, his voice often breaks under the amount of raw bliss. and every single sound that leaves his pretty lips is like angelic music to your ears.
W - wild card (random headcanon for the character)
- CUCK ACTIVITIES!!!!!! this is just my depraved mind speaking but him watching you get absolutely ruined by jhin sends him spiraling, his two favorite things putting on such a pretty show. actually just a threesome with both of them is my personal dream, or let’s reverse it, jhin watching as he orders hwei on how to make you feel~ 
X - x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
- hwei genuinely thinks he’s not big, it's kinda adorable. he’s pretty long but not all slender, his cock has a curve upwards when it's stiff and the tip takes on that pretty, purplish hue when he's really needy, he's also got a few visible veins running up the length of it that are even more sensitive than he is. he can’t help the pang of confidence he gets when you lower down on him that first time and he sees the way you gasp and flinch as you try to adjust. 
Y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
- ranges from standard to low depending how he’s feeling. while hwei enjoys sex, to him it’s only one of the many ways in which he can show his affection towards you. cuddling with you under the covers, opening his heart up to you with hushed whispers in the dead of night—all of these are ways in which hwei reveals his yearning for you.
Z - zzz  (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
- it depends! sometimes poor boy is honestly out like a light afterwards, but on other nights he stays up watching you drift off taking the opportunity to trace your body with his hands. admiring the work of art that is you.
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rubyreduji · 1 year ago
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timeless — ljh
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summary: you’ve just met jihoon, yet something about him feels familiar
tags: fluff, romance, reincarnation?, gn!reader warnings: arranged marriages, mentions of death and war  reader notes: no pronouns or explicit gender descriptions but they do take a more feminine role in history, jihoon picks up the reader but my mans is strong okay don’t worry wc: 10.3k an: i’ve been writing this for over a month now fjdskla and i like the finished product but im a bit worried the format is choppy but either way please enjoy and show it lots of love...also happy first fic of the 2nd year of rubyreduji!!!
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“Soonyoung, stop it!” You scold your best friend as he giggles at you.
“Just go talk to him!” Soonyoung tells you, pushing you towards the door to the antique shop next to your favorite boba place. 
Him refers to the cute cashier you always see through the windows when you and Soonyoung go and get boba (which is about three times a week). It’s nothing more than a hallway crush but Soonyoung keeps insisting that it could be more than that if you would just go talk to him. 
You don’t actually want to talk to the boy who stands at the counter with a smile, but before you can stop him Soonyoung is opening the door to the store and forcing you inside. When you turn around to chew your best friend out, you find him not there, his back already retreating to the boba shop. 
A part of you wants to just dash back out the door but the bell attached to the door has already gotten the attention of the cashier and you can’t escape now.
“Welcome to The Eternity Emorpium, today anything marked with a green sticker is 20% off.” The voice isn’t what you expected Cute Cashier to sound like but when you turn around to face him, you realize you’re not talking to Cute Cashier at all.
Rather than the tall boy with glasses you’ve been peeking in on for the past few months, you come face to face with a short yet buff boy with long black hair. He most definitely is not the guy you came in for, but you have to admit he is just as (if not more) cute than the other cashier.
You’re not sure how you didn’t notice that your normal Cute Cashier wasn't behind the counter, but in your defense you were too busy fighting off Soonyoung.
You give the new cashier—who you have now dubbed Even Cuter Cashier—a smile, before pretending to look at all of the memorabilia set out. The actual shop is nice with an obvious theme and specific layout that only someone with an eye for aesthetic and organization could create. On the speakers a Bruno Mars song is playing and you wonder if it's the cashier who has control over the music or just a general store playlist.
You feel awkward walking around the shop, letting out fake hums every once in a while to make it seem like you're actually shopping and not just sneaking glances at Even Cuter Cashier whenever you can. You stop in front of a playing card deck and you pick it up, flipping it over in your hand a couple of times.
"Oh, we just got those in," Even Cuter Cashier says, startling you a bit. "Put them on the floor this morning. You into cards?"
"Oh, uh," Shit. This is your chance to talk to him, "yeah. My dad is more of a collector than I am, but I can see the appeal."
"Nice. Yeah I'm more of a guitar collector myself, but my wallet wishes I wasn't," he says and you both laugh.
"That's cool though. I would love to learn how to play an instrument but I definitely don't have the talent or patience for that." As you speak with the man you slowly start to drift towards the counter.
"Hey, anyone can be talented, it just takes practice." You quickly glance down at Even Cuter Cashier's name tag to see his actual name is Jihoon.
"Good inspirational quote, but I think I'll just stick to the playing cards," you tell him with a grin as you set the pack down in front of him.
Jihoon just pushes the cards back to you and when you give him a questioning look he just grins. "They’re on the house.”
“Oh no, you don’t have to do that,” you tell him.
“I wanted to,” he says. “Maybe it’s just my plan to get you to come in here again.”
You smile at Jihoon, your face starting to turn a bit hot. You pick up the pack of cards and bid goodbye to the cashier before turning and leaving. Soonyoung is standing outside the door with two boba cups in hand. He peeks in when you open the door and frowns.
“That’s not Cute Cashier.”
“Nope! That’s Even Cuter Cashier,” you tell your best friend.
“You’re abandoning the other guy already?”
“I can’t abandon someone I don’t even know,” you scoff, “and anyway, I think I like Even Cuter Cashier. Something about him…it feels like destiny.”
Soonyoung laughs at you, but you ignore him, your mind still lingering on the dark haired boy from earlier. The more you think about him, the more your heart starts to grow warm. You can’t place it, but something about Jihoon feels familiar, and you need more.
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1500s
“You are to be married to Prince Wonwoo before the solstice hits.”
Your head shoots up, staring at your father, not sure if you hear his words correctly. There’s no possible way he said that. You can think of a dozen reasons why that’s impossible, a few including: 1. You’ve never met Prince Wonwoo in your life, why would he want you as his betrothed? 2. You two did not have a courtship and it would be a scandal for you two to get married without presenting as a couple to the public first. 3. Your family is not nearly important enough to be noticed by royalty. 4. (And this is the biggest one) You are in love with someone else.
Well, your father doesn’t know that you’re in love with someone else, but it’s still an important fact to note.
Despite all of these reasons, your father continues to talk about the arrangement, not noticing the shock on your face. You wonder about how it came to be, and without you hearing even a whisper about it.
“You will be meeting with a royal advisor in two days, please do not cause any trouble.” With that your father walks ways, leaving you with a million questions brewing your mind.
The main one being: how are you going to tell Jihoon about this?
For over a year now you’ve been seeing the same man, sneaking out whenever you can to meet him. He came into town with a bang (quite literally — his caravan practically falling apart with all of his belongings crashing to the ground as it did) and you’ve been captivated by him since. 
Your days are never boring when Jihoon is around, the two of you either going on adventures or hanging out in Jihoon’s (new) caravan. Though, you think your most favorite times spent with Jihoon are late at night, when you two meet up on the outskirts of your estate grounds, right on the edge of the forest.
There never is any guessing as to what Jihoon has planned. Some days you two walk around the garden under the moonlight, talking and gazing up at the stars, while other nights you’re whisked off to another town to dance the night away in a hidden tavern. You love the guise of the night, being able to do whatever and be whoever without the fear of onlookers and their judgment. It’s just you and Jihoon in your own little world.
Maybe that’s why you’ve been keeping him a secret for so long, you like keeping him all to yourself. No one can taint your relationship if they don't know about it. Though you suppose that has backfired on you now.
You don’t see your father for the rest of the night and when the sunsets and you slip out the back door and walk down to the forest edge, you do it with a heavy heart. As always Jihoon is standing next to the tree he carved your initials in, a wide grin on his face and a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
As soon as he spots you approaching his face lights up in a grin. He trots up to you the rest of the way, scooping you up into a hug.
"I've missed you," he says, pressing kisses to your lips and cheeks. You giggle at his antics.
"You saw me two days ago, my dear."
"Oh but that's two days too long for an aching heart in love." 
Other people may think it's cheesy but you can't help but adore the sweet way Jihoon talks to you, always putting his poet background to good use. You smile as Jihoon holds you in his arms, but soon the good mood is ruined by the news you remember you have to break to him.
"What's wrong, my love?" Jihoon asks, seeing the fallen look on your face. He reaches up and pushes your hair out of your face, a habit he has picked up since you two met. 
You just sigh and shift so you're out of Jihoon's embrace. Automatically you miss his strong arms around your waist, but you can't bear to look at him as you talk.
“My father has given me away to another man,” you tell him in a hushed voice. 
“Who?” Jihoon responds automatically. “I won’t let him take you. I-I’ll fight.”
You finally turn towards Jihoon, the solemn look still firm on your face. “I’m betrothed to Prince Wonwoo.”
“Prince Wonwoo?!” Jihoon looks taken aback. You don’t blame him. Suddenly he deflates. “How am I going to beat that?”
You’re not sure how to respond. The truth is Jihoon can’t compete. That doesn’t mean you’re going to give up hope on him, though.
“We’ll…we’ll figure something out,” you finally say. You step closer to Jihoon, allowing him to wrap you up in his embrace once again.
“I’m not giving up on us,” Jihoon tells you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“We’ll be fine. We have to be.”
When your father told you you’d be meeting with a royal advisor, this isn’t exactly what you were expecting.
When you arrived at the castle you were amazed at the size of it, but you weren’t allowed to gawk for long, being ushered into a sitting room where two men were already conversing. Neither were your soon to be husband though and you wondered when you might actually get to meet the prince.
The two men soon introduced themselves as Soonyoung and Mingyu, two of Prince Wonwoo’s most trusted men. Now two hours later, you’re starting to question the judgment of your betrothed.
Not only are the men completely scatterbrained and disorganized, they also seem to bicker more often than not, making it difficult for you to understand everything they’re telling you. The only thing you really comprehend is that you’re going to be spending a lot more time with the two men up until the wedding.
You’re given a schedule at the end of the day, your upcoming weeks all planned out for you already. Meeting with wedding coordinators, royalty training, garment fittings, and everything else of the like. You frown, thinking about your normally free schedule has now been filled.
Luckily for you, the meeting finished earlier than expected and you don’t hesitate to direct yourself towards the area where Jihoon’s caravan resides. Your lover is delighted to see you but before he can get any words out you’re throwing yourself at him, pulling him into a kiss. You’re desperate to drown in Jihoon and forget reality even just for a moment.
It isn’t until later that you and Jihoon finally exchange words. 
“I can hear you thinking,” Jihoon says. You two lay next to each other on his bed, bare bodies pressed together under the linens. Your head rests on his chest and his hands card through your hair. “Was I not satisfactory in taking your thoughts away? What is troubling your mind so much?
“Prince Wonwoo.”
“You’re thinking about Prince Wonwoo after laying so intimately with me?”
“No! Well yes, but- I- shut up,” you grumble, smacking Jihoon’s chest, making his laugh.
You’ve never met the prince before, though you are well knowledged on him. It’s hard not to be when he is to take over the crown in a few years. You try not to think about how that will make you the queen consort.
You’ve only seen Prince Wonwoo in person a handful of times, none too recently, but you still know the prince is very handsome. Not as handsome as you find Jihoon, though you may be a bit biased. He’s also said to be kind, smart, level-headed, and well calculated. You suppose it could be worse. 
“I met with his advisors today,” you tell Jihoon. “I guess it’s just all hitting me. This really is going to happen.”
“Hey, listen to me,” Jihoon moves so he can stare at you in the face, “no matter what happens, I will always love you. My heart is still yours.”
“And mine yours,” you tell him softly. “I love you Lee Jihoon. Never forget that.”
You don’t see Jihoon for a while. Your schedule is packed with futile meetings that take up your day and with the news of your engagement to the prince (who you have still yet to meet), there are guards outside of your estate at night.
You suppose you are fortunate that Mingyu and Soonyoung have grown on you in the past few weeks. Though you still think them foolish, you also have a fondness for the pair. You see why Prince Wonwoo puts his trust in them. You find yourself wanting to confide in them, though there is one thing that still remains a secret.
It isn’t until the night before your wedding that you see your love. You are able to lose your guards for a second and you make a beeline straight to Jihoon’s caravan. He’s still awake, sitting outside and staring up at the starry sky when you approach.
“My dear,” you call out to him. Jihoon looks away from the sky to meet your face, a look of surprise flashes over his face before they form into a soft smile.
“You know you really shouldn’t be out so late at night, it is not safe.”
“Well then, why don’t you help me find some shelter kind sir,” you tell him. Jihoon just grins and grabs your hand, pulling you into his home. 
You two spent the night wrapped up in each other, exchanging soft kisses and even softer words. When the morning comes Jihoon is still asleep when you awake and while you’d love to give him a proper goodbye, you know you already pushed your luck enough spending the whole night out.
You quickly find a quill and some ink and you grab a piece of Jihoon’s writing parchment and scribble a quick note to him before slipping out the door. It’s only after the caravan is out of sight that you let your tears fall.
The first time you meet Prince Wonwoo is at the altar. Up close he’s even more handsome than you imagined, with soft facial features and kind eyes. You can’t help but still feel a bit disappointed, staring at the stranger in front of you as you recite your wedding vows.
The chapel where you are being wed is packed full of people, mostly nobility. Your attire is suffocating, despite being fitted for it thrice. Across from you, the prince keeps a neutral face and you wonder about his own involvement in this arrangement. 
He’s dressed in a formal outfit fit for royalty. The colors pair with your own dressings and you wonder what you two look like from the outfit. A newly bonded couple who will eventually be ruling the whole country. Are you two a handsome, strong presenting couple? Or do you two look like two fools who have never met before?
You were surprised at the way the public took the news of the engagement. You were expecting backlash against the prince, but he is well loved by the public and they were all happy to see the young man finding a partner to settle down with before stepping up to the throne. Despite never having been seen together in public before today, there was a wide talk of your (fake) courtship and how you must be very lucky to have the prince hold your heart.
If only they knew that a lonely, penniless poet was the real caretaker of your love.
It isn’t until the words leave the officiant’s mouth that you realize you will have to kiss the prince. Not only to end the ceremony but for the public to see you two unite as one. You must look as taken aback as you feel because your now husband takes the initiative, stepping forward to close the distance between you two.
Wonwoo cups your face gingerly, his hands are cold and his fingers are boney. He stares at you for a moment, dark eyes gazing into your soul, before he finally leans in.
The moment his lips press against yours you want to jerk out of his hold. It feels wrong. Your lips don’t fit together nicely and there’s no warmth exchanged between you two. You’re both stiff and you note how Wonwoo’s lips aren't as full as Jihoon’s. 
The kiss is over within seconds but the damage has been done and you can’t shake the dirty feeling that has grown under your skin. Wonwoo’s hand slides down your arm to clasp your fingers together. Another sign of unity for the public. You force a smile on your face, but the only thing you can think about is how your heart is miles away, in a small caravan on the edge of town.
My love,
I am not sure how you were able to convince the prince’s closest man to be a part of this, but I cannot say am I ungrateful for him. Though I do find him quite eccentric (and slightly obnoxious) I must give him my gratitude.
I miss you tremendously, but the past few letters you have sent me have been acting as bandages over my heart. I read them whenever I feel an ache of your absence, which is quite often.
It is unfortunate you find royal life boring. If I could, you know that I would sweep you off to the farthest lands where we would explore the area during the day and revel at night. I would show you the large world out there and we could experience new joys together. 
How I long to have you lay by my side at night. To feel your soft, tender skin against my fingertips. It pains me to even think about it, but it would kill me not to. 
I will never stop fighting for us.
Write back soon,
Your Jihoon
My darling,
I saw you today. I was taken quite off guard when I saw you riding in the carriage, next to Prince Wonwoo. I admit, you two make a handsome couple, but not more handsome than us.
It’s been so long since I’ve seen your beautiful face in person, that even seeing you with another man made my heart sing. I couldn’t pull my eyes from you, doing my best to soak in the sight of you because you were once again gone.
You looked quite winsome sitting in the carriage, but you did not look like you. Are you required to wear such extremities every day, or were you dressed for the occasion? Either way I cannot imagine the process of getting ready to be a swift one. 
If I am being honest I do not find the purpose of such efforts. Does the prince not find your natural beauty fit to his standards? If so then off with him. Any person with eyes would be fortunate to gaze upon you. I know I was.
Seeing you has only made me yearn more for you. I know it has only been a few weeks since your matrimony to Prince Wonwoo, but to me it has been lifetimes. How I crave to feel your touch, to hear your voice, to kiss your lips.
I know that the idea is futile but I will never give up on you. No matter what, I am still yours. And I hope you are still mine. Even if I only see a glimpse of you once every decade, my heart will still burn for you.
Forever yours,
Your Jihoon
To my heart,
Though you are always in my thoughts, you have been overtaking my mind more often than not lately. Please do not think I am upset about this, it is quite the opposite, but I am afraid I have been missing you a great deal more than usual.
Maybe it is due to a conversation I had the other day. I was at a tavern, catching up with an old acquaintance who was in town, and you came up. Jeonghan questioned if there was a reason why I had settled here and wondered if it was ‘due to my heart’. I laughed and confirmed his suspicions.
We spent a deal of time after that talking about you. It felt liberating being able to speak of you to someone else. I must have rambled on for at least an hour before Jeonghan finally cut me off, telling me how lucky I must be to have someone like you in my life. I had no choice other than to agree with him.
Speaking about you and thinking about you has thrown me into a tumultuous frame of mind. It is quite shameful how often I get lost in fantasies of us and what I wish we could be. You have overtaken my mind, body, and soul. There is not a single night where I do not dream of you.
I hope our future king can see how fortunate he is to be married to you. I would kill thousands of men to be in his position. Your smile itself is worth more than every jewel on his crown. I know I am just waxing poetic at you, but that is my job.
I know we must stay apart, but please mourn the future we could have had for me. Please write back to me with every thought you have about our imaginary future, because even if I cannot have the real thing, my dreams will be enough for me.
Dream of me as well,
Your Jihoon 
The life between you and your husband is…comfortable. You two talk, but not often and seldom about anything that is not shallow or mundane. You two sleep side by side at night but the last time you two touched each other was when you danced at your wedding and while his days are spent in meeting, yours are spent wandering the castle grounds and having tea with Soonyoung and Mingyu.
The only thing you find yourself looking forward to in your days anymore is the nightly lettering that you receive from Jihoon. It was only a week into the marriage when Soonyoung noticed how miserable you were. Without being able to hold it in anymore, you told the man about your lover and your heartbreak. It was then that Soonyoung suggested he help you out, acting as a carriage pigeon to deliver letters to and from Jihoon.
One night you are sitting at the desk in your shared chambers with Wonwoo, writing your letter for Jihoon, when Wonwoo speaks up. He is sitting on the bed across the room and his deep voice startles you, not used to talking to the man like this.
“Are you happy?” Wonwoo asks you bluntly, after calling out your name. You take only a moment to form an answer.
“I am content, my lord,” you tell him. Though you have stopped referring to the man as “Prince Wonwoo” in your mind, you cannot help but tack on the formal titles at the end of your sentences to the man.
“But you are not happy. Why?”
“Rest assured your highness, it is nothing you’ve done.”
“Does it have anything to do with the letters Soonyoung delivers to you each evening? The letters you are writing back right now?” You freeze in your seat. You were unaware he knew, but the prince is not ignorant. You suppose you couldn’t keep it a secret forever.
“I-”
“Do not mistake my curiosity for accusation. I’m aware this arrangement is not an ideal situation, and I would not be upset if there was another. I would not even be upset if you wish to be with him,” Wonwoo says. 
His words trouble you. There is a benefit for both of you in the marriage, but his words imply he is not exactly happy with the arrangement either. The offer to let you leave him is strange though, and causes you to fault for a moment.
“I am not going to abandon you, sire,” you eventually respond. “I have made an obligation to you.”
“No, your father did. Though we are not well acquainted I still hold empathy and I do not want to be what is keeping you from your happiness. From your happy ending.”
“Either way my father’s word is say, so I will do what he asks of me. It is an honor to be wedded to a man of your status,” you tell him, trying to convince yourself more than anything.
“But that is all it is: status. What about love?”
You don’t answer. You sit there and stare down at the letter you are writing to Jihoon. You think about the wooden box hidden in the drawer that holds his letters.
“Please, I do not wish to cause you turmoil. If you want to go, I will not hold you back,” Wonwoo says. 
You finally turn to look at your husband. “You are very kind-hearted, but I cannot accept that offer. I will not tarnish your reputation like that. Do you know the talk that would rise if they heard the soon-to-be king’s spouse up and left? What would your father do to mine? It is too risky.”
Wonwoo has a morose look on his face, like he knows you’re right. “Tell me about him,” he says, surprising you.
You hesitate. You should not talk of your lover to your husband. It is unorthodox and unbecoming. You look at Wonwoo’s curious face though, and you can’t help yourself.
“He’s a poet. I’ve never met someone who can use words the way he does. Even in things as simple as short letters or passing comments, he can make it sound like the most romantic sentence ever uttered,” you tell Wonwoo.
“Tell me more.”
“He has a kind soul, like you. He’s very exciting to be around. He used to travel the world, so I love to hear him regale the tales of his adventures. He likes to take me on our own little adventures as well. One time a traveling show came through a neighboring town and he got us tickets to go watch.”
“You love him greatly.” It is not a question. You just nod to Wonwoo. “You light up when you speak of him. In a way I’ve never seen before.”
You don’t know what to say to him, so you turn your back to him once more, resuming your letter to Jihoon.
You love Jihoon, everyday apart from him feels like you’re struggling to breathe, and under any other circumstance you wouldn’t have stopped at anything to be with him, but you are not under those circumstances. You fought your father, refusing the marriage, even telling him you loved someone else, but he did not listen. He told you this was the one thing he would put his foot down on.
You can’t blame him, how often does someone get the chance to marry a prince. The things this marriage is doing for your family is immeasurable and you cannot in good conscience leave them without a second thought. Not to mention the damage it would do to your family’s reputation, let alone Wonwoo’s. Your family would be shunned by the public and Wonwoo would be labeled a joke of a king.
Not to mention if it was ever discovered what really happened. What would happen if everyone found out why you left? You and Jihoon would surely be ostracized. Town piranhas in even towns in other kingdoms. Jihoon’s career as a poet would be over. You can’t imagine that being a happy life.
Not that you’re particularly happy right now either. You wish you didn’t overthink everything, or else you would have left the town even before you got married. You and Jihoon could be living in his caravan, just you two alone, safe and sound and happy.
It is too late for that though, and now you have to pay the consequences. Married to a man you know nothing about. A man who seems to be rooting for you despite the outcome. It makes you frown. Maybe your first step in figuring it all out is figuring out your husband first.
“Have you ever been in love, my lord?” You decide to ask Wonwoo one day while walking the castle’s grounds. As of recently you two have gotten closer, an interesting bond forming between you two, though most of your time is spent talking of Jihoon. Wonwoo never draws back on his suggestions that you follow your heart. 
“Not in the way you are. I was very fond of someone a long time ago, but they loved someone else.” You frown at this news. 
“Please excuse the crudeness of my words, sire, but then why do you put so much mind into my love? Do you not wish to be wed to someone?”
“I do,” Wonwoo answers after a moment of contemplation, “but I do not want to be the reason why true love is separated. You and your Jihoon, you are a story of fate. Who am I to get in the middle of it? The public likes me enough, I will be okay. No matter what, I will be okay, but will you?”
Your heart aches and yearns for Jihoon, and your husband is not making it easier. That may have been his goal though.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” You ask Wonwoo. You frown as you stand in front of him, your stomach in knots of worry.
Wonwoo just gives you a soft smile. “I am sure. If anything, I should be worrying about you. Do you have everything you need?”
“Yes. Both Soonyoung and I checked twice. You have ensured that everything will run perfectly.” You reach over and take your husband’s hands in yours, squeezing them tightly. “Thank you, Wonwoo. For everything.”
“Ah, it is the least I could do. Now, you have somewhere to be and I cannot keep you waiting any longer. Send me letters, okay?” With a final squeeze of your hands, Wonwoo lets you go. You smile at the man once more before turning away from him and not looking back.
You slip out of the castle through the servant’s doors and quickly make your way to the outskirts of the grounds. It reminds you of all those times you escaped your own house to meet Jihoon at the edge of the forest. The thought makes a grin grow on your face as you speed up your pace even more.
Just like all the previous times, when you get to the edge of the estate Jihoon is standing there waiting for you. You launch yourself into his arms, allowing him to pick you up and twirl you around. He’s giggling high pitched and gleeful as you two spin around in each other’s arms.
When Jihoon finally puts you down he doesn’t waste a moment and leans in to kiss you. You happily kiss him back, grabbing his face and holding him in place. You can feel a wet stream of tears run down your face, your heart bursting with joy as you reunite with your lover.
His lips are familiar against yours and you automatically feel at home. For the first time in months you can relax, finally back in Jihoon’s arms.
“It’s you,” Jihoon muttres when he finally pulls away. He brings his hands up to caress your face.
“It’s me, my love, it’s me,” you tell him back, tears still flowing freely.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you more.” You lean in and press another quick kiss against Jihoon’s lips. “But we will never have to miss each other again.”
“I’m never letting you go,” Jihoon tells you, gripping you tighter. “Oh how much I love you.”
You giggle. “I love you more. Now come on, let’s get out of here.”
You grab Jihoon’s hand and pull him away from the grounds to where his caravan is waiting for you two. As you two travel further and further away from the town you feel your heart grow lighter and lighter, excited for the rest of your life of adventures with your love.
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The next time you see Jihoon is nearly a week later. You and Soonyoung are once again getting boba when you spot the boy behind the counter, just like last time. When you and Soonyoung went and got boba a few days prior you noticed that the original Cute Cashier was working, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit of disappointment at him not being Jihoon.
As soon as you lay eyes on your Even Cuter Cashier, you quickly make a beeline into the shop, your desire for boba long gone.
Jihoon looks up when he hears the sound of the bell ringing and his eyes soften into a smile when he sees you entering through the threshold.
“You came back!”
“I did. It’s hard not to, with the amazing service I got last time,” you say. You casually browse the store as you talk to Jihoon, glancing at him every so often as you do. 
“Well I’m glad that my plan to get you to come back succeeded.”
You giggle at Jihoon’s words as you stop in front of a stack of old photos. You flip through them, looking at all the memories they hold. Many of the photos depict different couples, all smiling brightly as they hold each other. The images put a smile on your own face.
“Find something good?” Jihoon asks and you jump a bit at the closeness of his voice. When you turn, you see the man standing by your side.
“Oh, yeah, just these photos! Aren’t they beautiful?” You tilt them a bit to show them off to Jihoon. “I think it’s so amazing that no matter how the world changes, love will always stay the same.”
“Huh, I guess you’re right. Love’s been around since the beginning of time.”
“The love these people were feeling in these photos is the same love we experience today. There really is nothing like it.”
You look back down at the photos. The one in your hand shows a woman clinging onto a man’s arm, her cheek pressed into his bicep as she smiles at the camera. The man himself is smiling as well, though he is smiling down at the woman, rather than the camera. 
“They’re cute,” Jihoon mumbles, his own eyes transfixed on the photo. 
“Yeah,” you say, “I wonder what’s their story.”
“Something happy, I hope,” Jihoon says before moving to walk back behind the counter. You grab a few more photos from the stack before following after him, placing them on the counter.
Jihoon smiles at you and starts to ring you up. You take a moment to stare at him, your eyes tracing over his fluffy hair and round face and kind smile. You don’t stop staring until Jihoon breaks your focus.
“What? Does my hair look stupid or something?” He grins lazily at you again and you feel your heartbeat quicken.
“Uh, n-no! It’s just…your smile is super familiar to me. Sorry, that may be weird.”
“No, no, it’s not. I guess I kinda felt the same thing the first time you came in,” Jihoon tells you. “Who knows, maybe we knew each other in a past life.”
You chuckle at Jihoon’s joke, but you don’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.
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1951
War Against North Korea Rages On, No End in Sight
You frown at the heading, throwing the newspaper aside onto the counter. The news of the North Korean troops invading Seoul changed everyone’s lives, throwing the country into a state of chaos trying to keep them from completely overtaking all of South Korea. Now a year later, the war is still in full force and though you know it’s important to stay updated on what’s happening, you don’t bother with the news articles anymore. They always say more or less the same thing: the war continues on with more casualties and less hope of ending soon.
Your heart grows heavy with each day growing worse than the last. You wish there was more you could do to help the war efforts, but you’re stuck at home taking care of your sick father. He’s the only family you have left, after your mother’s death a few years ago. All of the money received from her passing has gone into your father, but since the start of the war prices have done nothing but skyrocket.
So you spend your days at home taking care of your father, and your nights in a factory working to earn an income. You don’t mind the work though, allowing your mind to focus on something that isn’t the war or your father.
The only other time you get a break, an actual real break, is on Saturdays. It’s the one day in the week you allow yourself to go out, spending the afternoon to yourself getting groceries and taking time to focus on yourself.
You go through the same routine, walking down to the port and spending a few minutes enjoying the waves lapping against the shore, the salty sea water scent filling the air as the summer breeze brushes up against your skin. After taking in the sight of the sea, you move further into town and down the street to the cemetery.
Every Saturday you visit your mother’s grave, sitting with her for a while as you update her on your life and the current events. Occasionally you will bring a book and read aloud. You find the time spent with her calming, her maternal love enveloping you and letting you rest, even for a small bit of time.
Afterwards you browse the shops in town (only looking, never buying) before heading to the market to finish your day off. You spend the money for the groceries to get you through the week before heading back home. You do your best to walk most places you go, not wanting to spend the fare for the trollies. 
The streets are busy on the weekend and on your walk back to your house, someone bumps into you causing you to drop your bags, all of your freshly bought groceries tumbling to the ground. The person doesn’t even stop and you can’t bother chasing them too. You just sigh and bend down to pick up the now unusable goods. 
You now have to turn around and go back into town to get more groceries. It will take a good chunk out of your funds, but not too much. Maybe you’ll pick up a few more shifts at the factory.
“Excuse me, are you okay?” As you’re thinking about how to make up the price of the ruined groceries, you miss the man who has walked up to you.
When you look up you see a beautiful man with a sweet round face and dark hair staring down at you. He’s dressed nicely in a suit and it takes you a moment to actually respond to him, too distracted by his good looks.
“Pardon?”
“I was asking if you were okay?” The man bends down to help you pick up the rest of the food spilled on the ground. “I saw that man bump into you and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Oh! I’m fine, thank you.” You smile at him, appreciative of the kind gesture.
“But all of your groceries are now ruined. Allow me to buy you more.”
“Oh no! That’s not necessary,” you quickly tell the man. You don’t even know him and you would feel guilty allowing a man who didn’t even cause the casualty to pay for your groceries, especially with the state of the economy.
“I insist,” he says, standing and then helping you stand as well. “It’s the least I could do.”
“Sir it really-” Before you can even finish your sentence the man was walking away, back towards the town. You could just go back home, but then you’d be left with no groceries for the week so you begrudgingly follow him back to the market.
“Lee Jihoon, by the way,” he tells you as you two walk around the market, collecting what you need. You give him your name as well and he grins, a small spark igniting behind his eyes as he tells you how lovely your name is.
When you’re done regathering what you need you move to head to the register, but Jihoon stops you.
“This is all you’re getting? It’s barely enough for any proper meals. Please, add more. I won’t mind, I demand of it actually.” Jihoon then moves to add more to the basket and once again you have to follow along as Jihoon is the one carrying it.
You protest each time a new item is added but Jihoon keeps hushing you like you’re a life long friend rather than a stranger he met on the street no more than thirty minutes ago. By the time Jihoon is satisfied with what’s in your basket, it’s full to the top and you can’t remember the last time you’ve seen so much food in your life. Guilt eats away at you as you think about the money Jihoon is about to drop on you just because someone else made you drop your bags.
It isn’t until you’re checking out and Jihoon casually pulls out multiple banknotes without even a blink of an eye that you realize that not everyone lives like you and that just maybe Jihoon doesn’t mind paying so much because he has the money laying around to do so. Even back when your mother was alive and your father was able to work your family was still paying for everything with scraped up coins.
The sun is already low in the sky by the time you two exit the market and Jihoon stops you once more. “Allow my driver to take you back to your house.”
The sentence alone confirms your suspicions on Jihoon’s monetary status. To own a car is a luxury of its own, but to have a driver as well seals the deal.
You already can tell it’s impossible to turn Jihoon down so you just follow him back to his car. You wonder if his driver followed you after you two walked to the market. When you two get into the car you tell your address to the driver, trying not to get embarrassed at the thought of the nice car driving through your run down little neighborhood. 
Jihoon’s driver just nods and starts up the car. The three of you sit in silence until the car pulls up to your house and you climb out. Jihoon does as well, helping carry your groceries to the door.
“It was nice meeting you,” Jihoon says. “If you ever need anything again, give me a call.” He holds out a small white card, his business card, to you. You take it and thank him once more before entering your house, your mind still lingering on the strange, rich man.
You don’t give Jihoon a call, but you don’t have to. You run into him again not even three days after your first interaction. It’s early in the morning and you’re heading back home after work when you hear your name called out. When you turn you see the man’s car rolling up next to you, his head poking out of the back seat window.
“What are you doing walking alone so early in the morning? The sun has barely started to rise.”
"I'm walking back home from work," you answer honestly.
Jihoon's face looks sour at this, like he couldn't imagine working so late at night. "If you have been working all night let me treat you to breakfast."
It's your turn to let your face screw up slightly. You know that Jihoon can afford to buy you breakfast, but you still don't want to feel indebted to him. Not to mention your father will be waking up soon and you'll need to make his breakfast as well. You tell Jihoon as much.
"Then I will buy breakfast for your father too," is his solution.
You're not sure why he keeps insisting on buying you things but you just sigh and climb into the car. Jihoon has a smug grin on his face as he tells his driver where to go.
A few minutes later the car pulls up in front of a diner and you and Jihoon enter. It's nothing extravagant, but still a treat for those with a tight budget. 
The two of you sit in silence until a waitress comes and takes your order. Jihoon doesn't allow you to order for yourself, picking what he tells you are the most delicious and filling items. He orders for himself and then a third meal, asking the waitress to not cook it until she brings the check.
You note the way Jihoon has a nice presence to him, friendly and warm and inviting. The way his soft features are accentuated when he smiles, his round cheeks puffing up and his eyes squinting. You find him fascinating, but there's something more than that, something drawing you to him.
"So, where do you work that has you walking home at six in the morning?" 
The question breaks the ice between you as you fall into a natural conversation, asking questions and trading answers. Your hesitations towards the man quickly ebb the more you talk.
You learn he's a highly successful businessman but the war has halted much of his work which has given him some much needed down time. Like you, he doesn't have many living family members and he's an altruistic man so much of his money is left unspent.
Before you know it both of your meals are finished and the waitress is bringing over the check and the packaged meal for your father. Just like at the market, Jihoon pulls out his banknotes and pays before escorting you back to his car.
When you arrive at your house a part of you feels disappointed that the morning with Jihoon is over. Now it's back to the real world. 
You're halfway to your door when you suddenly turn back around. You don't know what causes you to say it before you can stop yourself you spit out, "Would you like to come in for a cup of tea? It's the last I could do after all of your kindness." 
Jihoon beams in front of you. "I would love that."
Bloodiest Battles of the War So Far, Conscription Soon to Follow?
Five months after you meet Jihoon he knocks on your front door, a letter clutched in his fist. There's a grim look on his face when you open the door and you know automatically.
The Battle of Bloody Ridge, follwoed by The Battle of Heartbreak Ridge, took out many of the soldiers on the frontlines and the country was now desperate to find new ones to replace them. A mandatory conscription for any young man who was eligible to join the military.
It didn't take long for you and Jihoon to start a relationship after your first few meetings. He's the perfect man, taking care of both you and your father and showering you in nothing but love and affection. The thought of him so far away, in the direct line of danger, makes a lump grow in your throat. Your chest tightens as your heart aches.
"We'll be okay," Jihoon mutters into your hair as you cry silently into his neck, holding him tightly. Like if you hold him tight enough he won't have to leave.
That's not how the world works though, and you accompany Jihoon on the day he is to deploy.
"If you need more money just send me a letter and I'll take care of it, okay?"
"You've left me with plenty already, love," you tell him as you fix his jacket collar. "Just come home safe."
"As long as you make sure I have something to come home to."
You can already feel the tears welling up in your eyes and you lean forward to press your lips to Jihoon's. He kisses you back, putting all of his love into it. A promise to you, that you will see him again, that this isn't your last kiss.
With one last squeeze of the hand Jihoon boards the bus and you're left alone, a heaviness in your heart and worry forming under your skin.
You just have to keep telling yourself he'll be okay, he has to be.
December 19, 1951
To the one my heart has gone to,
I hope you don't mind the frequency of my letters, I just feel closer to you know that eventually you'll hold the same paper in your fingers. I miss you tremendously, to the point my heart aches thinking of you.
Do you know that when you send your letters they smell of you? I always keep your most recent ones safe, in hopes to preserve the smell for just a little while longer.
There's not much to report about today, which I suppose is a good thing. Better than something hectic or even worse, a battle. 
Unfortunately it still doesn't look like there will be a break anytime soon. Battle after battle, life after life. It's not easy, but I've come to like the other men in my unit. Jeonghan takes good of us and Seokmin makes nice company. 
I don't want to keep you long, but I wanted to make sure you'd get a letter for before the holidays hit. Merry Christmas my love.
I'll make it up to you when I get home okay? For now just keep me in your dreams.
Write back soon, please. I want to hear what my lover has been up to. Keep me updated on your father as well.
All my love,
Your Jihoon
March 22, 1952
Today was hard.
I'm doing unwell as I write this letter, but it would pain me more not to send you my update.
Kwon Soonyoung died next to me today on the battlefield. It is not the first time a man has died near me, but it is the first time it was a man I have grown fond of. He was only a few months older than I am.
As grim as it may sound, and as much as I will mourn the loss, I am grateful that it was not me in his place. It was a difference of mere inches and fate chose Soonyoung. Does it mean anything? Is there a reason why I lived and he didn’t? I’m not sure but all I can think about is that his sacrifice is giving me a second chance at going home. Does that make me a bad person?
Everyday I pray this nightmare will be over. The thought of you is the only thing encouraging me to go on. I think about coming home to you, kissing your sweet lips, holding you in my arms.
We’ve been apart longer than we were together and I beat myself up for that everyday. I wish we would have met earlier, but as soon as the war is over we will have all the time in the world. Just you and me.
Wish me home soon,
Your Jihoon
November 30, 1952
To the home of my heart,
You have been on my mind all of today, not that you aren’t always on my mind normally. It has been particularly hard today though. It’s been a full year since my departure from you and every day has been harder than the last.
It’s hard to sleep at night and I often lay awake and think about you. Sometimes I will take a walk and look up at the sky. The moon and the stars are thousands of miles away but they still seem so close and bring so much comfort. That’s how I feel about you. Gazing at the moon also helps because it is still the same moon that you are under as well.
Look at the moon and think of me okay? Maybe one night we will be looking at the moon at the same time and I will be able to feel you just a bit closer.
Whenever I am able to fall asleep, I dream about you. I dream about the thought of you laying next to me. I wish to kiss your soft lips and feel your warm skin and look into your shining eyes. I dream of the life we will build together when we are reunited at last.
Would you marry me, my love?
I know it’s silly asking over a letter like this, and asking with such a strange courtship, but something in me feels the need to ask. Ever since I met you on the street that one fateful day, I’ve known you were the one for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so please accept my proposal (I promise to give you a proper one the second I get home).
The other men keep teasing me about you, but they just don’t understand the love we share. Being with you, even just the thought of you, it feels like home.
A part of me wonders if I’ve secretly loved you my whole life. It sure feels like it. No matter what I know you were made for me and everyday I bless whatever force brought us together. I love you so much it drives me crazy.
When I get home let me take you out on a thousand dates to make up for the time lost. 
Please send me your answer soon,
Your fiance Jihoon
February 01, 1953
To my dearest,
I’m writing to you from the infirmary. I was shot in battle earlier, nowhere too fatal just the leg, but I just woke up from the procedure to remove the bullet and patch me up. I’m lucky to come out with nothing more than a scar. Some other men aren’t as lucky.
It seems everyday is a new fight, but it’s worth it if it gives me a chance of going back home to you. We’ll buy a house close to the port, so you can be near the ocean breeze. Every night we’ll walk the shore and watch the sunset together. Then on Saturdays I’ll accompany you on your errands. We’ll go to town together and get groceries and visit the cafe and do whatever your heart desires. 
I’ll buy fresh flowers for your parents every week.
We could get a cat to keep you company while I’m at work and you could quit that heinous job at the factory. That would give you more time to focus on yourself. You and I both know that my wealth is more than enough for just the two of us.
Our house shouldn’t be too big, but still a good size in case we ever have guests over. I think we should start a garden as well.
Ah, my love, thinking about our future is nice. It helps me wish for the future, helps me feel closer to you. Thank you for being my safe place away from this nightmare. I should rest more now, but please remember that I will always spend everyday loving you.
Pray for my speedy recovery,
Your Jihoon
July 07, 1953
Jagiya! I apologize for the lack of letters recently, things have been so hectic around here, but I write with good news!
The talk around camp is that the negotiations have been making a move, there is finally an end in sight. I cannot wait to get back to you. It has been far too long since I’ve seen you and the photo I carry of you has started to fade already from how often I admire it. 
I cannot stay to write for long, but I needed to send you an update and a reminder of my love. I promise we will be back together soon.
Go to town and buy some flowers for yourself okay? Today is worth celebrating.
I can’t wait to see you,
Your Jihoon
You’re jittery as you smooth down your shirt, waiting for the bus to pull up. The same bus that took him away nearly two years ago.
When all of your friends heard about your beau, they all called you crazy. Holding out for a man who has been gone for quadruple the amount of time you spent together and you guess maybe it is crazy, but for Jihoon you would do anything.
It is true that you two were only together for five months before his deployment, but even before he left you knew you were madly in love with Lee Jihoon. You spent your nights reading the letters Jihoon sent you, and writing ones back. You would think you two had been lovers for fifty years rather than five months.
You’ve always felt the pull towards Jihoon though, like you’ve been loving him all your life. Every letter he sent made you fall in love with him even more, and now two years later he’s finally coming home. 
The days were hard without him when you saw him nearly everyday before he left. Winter of 1952 was less than kind, taking your father with it and leaving you alone for the last seven months, wishing for nothing but for Jihoon to come home. Now he is and you couldn’t be more elated.
The people standing around you start to cheer when someone catches sight of the bus, but you can’t do anything but stand there, your heart pounding in your chest. When the bus stops and soldiers start to pour out you have a moment of doubt. The fear that Jihoon won’t want you anymore, that everything has changed for the worse, creeps into your mind.
The thoughts can barely form though because then Jihoon’s stepping off the bus and his skin is so much tanner than it used to be and you’ve never seen him with his hair so short but it’s Jihoon, your Jihoon. His eyes light up when he catches sight of your familiar face and he’s dropping his bags and running towards you.
His arms are locked around your waist and you’re being lifted off the ground. You cup Jihoon’s face in your hands and lean down to kiss him as he spins you two around, easing all of the worries in your mind. Your cheeks dampen as tears start to stream down your face, too many emotions coursing through you to keep them all on the inside.
You keep your hands on Jihoon’s face as he sets you down. You stroke his cheek, feeling his warm skin under your touch. “You’re here, you’re really here.”
“I’m here my love, I’m here, and I’m never leaving you again.”
It doesn’t take much longer for you and Jihoon to leave the station. You two sit in the back of his car, pressed together as Jihoon presses kisses to your face every few minutes. You’re not much better though, leaning into him with a dopey grin on your face, ready to start your new life with the man you love the most.
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The next time you see Jihoon isn’t at the antique shop at all. You’re getting coffee at the cafe next to your apartment when you see the man walk in. His eyes light up a bit when he sees you and he makes a beeline to your table after getting his drink.
“Is this seat open?” He asks, pointing to the empty chair across from you.
“Of course.”
Jihoon takes a seat before turning his attention to you. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Maybe it’s fate,” you say teasingly but Jihoon just grins.
“Maybe it is,” his voice is smooth as he talks, and your breath gets caught in your throat, “I mean, I wouldn’t be upset if I was destined to meet you over and over again.”
You break his gaze, trying not to show him how flustered you are. “You’re quite the sweet talker you know? You don’t know anything about me-”
“No, but I don’t think it would be hard to learn. I’m starting to think we’re not really strangers at all. You can’t tell me that you aren’t a bit interested in me as well.”
You glance back at Jihoon to find him staring intently at him. His eyes are warm and deep and you can feel yourself being drawn in, like you’ve stared at those eyes a million times before. There’s an inviting sense to all of Jihoon and the only thing you can think of to describe it as is home. 
“Okay,” you tell him with a slight grin. “Let’s see if destiny is right.”
And really you don’t care if it is fate or not, because as you and Jihoon fall into a comfortable conversation you realize that the two of you meeting was no mistake, and that you could definitely love Lee Jihoon for multiple lifetimes. 
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taglist: @ckline35 @toruro @jeanjacketjesus @namjoonbaby @n4mj00nvq @lovelyhan @ovai @scorpiobitch88 @im-gemmy @lllucere @tulipgarland4 @embrace-themagic @sulkygyu @leejihoonownsmyheart @synthetickitsune @yeosayang @miraclewoozi @d0nghyck @soonhoonietrash @violetvoo @yongi-lee @spilled-coffee-cup @morklee02 @17kwans @candidupped @ressonancee @m1nghaos @1-800-jeonwonwoo @anothershorthuman @chwecardcaptor @jwnghyuns @flwrshwa @valentxi @heavenly-mobo @pandorashbox @enhacolor @starlight-night0 @todorokiskitten @miriamxsworld @just-here-to-read-01 @sunnyteume @debsworld23 @seuomo @tinkerbell460 @strawberri-uyu @hotricewoozi @luvthatleader-nim @lorde-oftherings @marzmeltdown (also tagging @gyuswhore bc taylor swift lol)
join my taglist: here!
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paper-mario-wiki · 3 months ago
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i'm loving seeing you post more of your art!! out of curiosity, how long have you been drawing? is there anything specific you do to practice or do you just pick something and draw it? (i've been trying to learn to draw myself for the past year or so, and seeing your art more often has become somewhat of an inspiration for me!)
ive been doodling all my life! thought when i say "doodle" i mean "as an unmedicated youth i was unable to focus on a drawing for more than 45 minutes at a time"
here's some posts from an art blog i had in middle school, and the first year of highschool.
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what most critically separates this art from the art ive been doing recently is that i NEVER used any refrence. ever. i looked at stuff to make sure i knew what it looked like, but the rest was always roughly estimated based on what i thought would look good (which was largely based on cartoons).
but i only ever started trying to "learn how to draw" over the past year. here's the thing: spending a bunch of hours practicing drawing cubes and cylinders is like. all you have to do to see yourself start improving in real time.
draw a bunch of cubes and cylinders, and learn how to make them look realistic in proportion to each other using references to guide you. practice drawing stuff like basic buildings, cans of soda, maybe a cake (3 short fat cylinders on top of each other) if you're feeling daring. then try to draw slightly more complicated shapes, like spheres and cones and stuff. layer these shapes on top of each other to make more complicated shapes. you're gettin the picture.
infuriatingly, basic shapes is like 40% of the "getting it to click" work done.
after than, move on to 30 second sketches of nude models using this site. yeah, only 30 seconds. it doesnt matter if it comes out looking like shit, the point is learning how to simplify complicated shapes down into their most basic lines. dont waste time erasing. dont waste time pressing ctrl-z. erasing is your enemy. you arent learning how to erase, you're learning how to draw. (you'll get your eraser back later).
do this hundreds of times. yeah, hundreds. put on a podcast or something. get in a voice call with your friends. but ya gotta practice this one. that's the next 20% of making it "click".
now, unfortunately, the last 40% is just a matter of slamming your head against the wall of art until things slowly start to look better and better. it's sort of like a chemical formula, in that the closer you get to 100% purity, the more and more difficult it becomes to distill it.
the key is to ALWAYS use reference. you cannot learn how to realistically draw something you've conjured from your mind if you cannot depict something that's right in front of you realistically.
im currently in this valley, as most artists are. in fact i dont think it's possible to make art "click" in your mind 100%, but it sure is fun to inch closer and closer!
below is a bunch of art in chronological order from april to now. you'll see that it's not really a straight road of getting better and better, but you'll see my lines slowly getting more confident and details becoming more clearly defined!
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daisydoesfanfics · 8 months ago
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|Eternity|
Diluc, Alhaitham, Neuvilette, Zhongli x gn!reader
Description: In which you brought clarity to their life.
Genre: Romance, Angst (fluff if you squint)
Warnings: None (written in the character's point of view/first person)
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The word 'eternity' has always been so vague to me. Sure I know it means 'forever', but still. How can you claim that something is eternal if nothing is?
I've learned that life is a come and go cycle, people come, and people go. I've learned to live my life with no expectations. I don't get attached to anything or anyone either. That way, when disappointment strikes, I won't feel bad. It won't be difficult for me to let go. I make friends, acquaintances, but I've always kept them at arm's length. I lived every day like it was an obligation, not a choice.
But that was until I met you.
At first I treated you like everyone else. I didn't treat you harshly, but I just couldn't let my guard down. I felt myself warming up to your awkward jokes and warm smiles. So I tried to shut you out. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. You kept drifting back to me. And I slowly began to embrace you.
I enjoyed having you beside me. I enjoyed having your arm looped with mine as we walked down the park. You made the sun shine brighter and the oceans calmer. You gave me a reason to wake up everyday. You changed my life full of routines into a life full of unexpected surprises. And it felt wonderful. I felt alive for once.
But then again, life is a come and go cycle. You came into my life, and quickly you left. I thought that losing you would be cold and lonely. That my life would return to its boringness. It didn't. Sometimes, despite not seeing or hearing you, I could feel you. I question if I've gone insane, but no. It wasn't insanity, it was love. You inspired me to keep going. You drove me to find my purpose. You're the angel that whispers in my ear, telling me to do the right thing. And even if you're gone, you're present in my heart. It's been a while since you've left, but my love for you has remained the same, if not stronger.
So, I think understand now. Life is not forever. But love lasts an eternity.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
A/N: idk if i like this😮‍💨 but i'll post it for the sake of posting (also to make up for my almost one year disappearance) i feel like this could fit xiao too, and maybe geto but im not sure, still you can imagine this with any of your favorite characters! also in my opinion, you probably died in the end so🥰 also lets pretend zhongli and neuvillette aren't immortal-
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nights-at-crystarium · 3 months ago
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i just wanted to pop by and gush about how incredibly well written vivi is because GOD. his story unfolding has made me reconsider several story beats about my wol and thats an amazing thing
theres two things that i think uve done especially well with his storytelling, being that vivi feels like an almost complete enigma to the reader, despite how intimate this story is, and the fact that vivi feels incredibly human - almost TOO human to be comfortable with
so to elaborate on the first point - i think a lot of us (and certainly i can) echo thancreds sentiment that he doesn't know vivian rell, because as intimate as this story can get with his pov, in the end, much like someone you'd meet in real life, we don't know much about him before the point we meet him, and any glimpses we get just signal that theres so much more to him than we get to see. and as much as we DO know about him, i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering. to that end i really like how enigmatic uve made him from a storytelling perspective, because it makes him feel so much more real!!! i honestly look forward a lot to learning more fragments (heh) of him and slowly piecing together a puzzle of him as the story goes on. i just want to rotate him in my head lol
but also, this does segue into my other point really well, which is the fact that vivis position as wol really seems to wear on him, and he seems for lack of a better word, completely exhausted! i know (myself included) write their wols with a trait of an almost unbreakable, iron will, which is very much still true in vivis case (again, anyone who gets to the point of shadowbringers without flat out giving up is incredibly strong by default) but showing him at his wits end, exhausted with the burdens of a hero, someone just so throughly *done* with what is, realistically, a pretty shit job is well... yeah! of course he is! he's only human, and he's what, saved the world 3 times now? seen countless die before him, powerless to save them, of course he's numb. the fact that the most defining experiences of the first for him are filled with mostly such... benign experiences, and that the major, climatic moments of shadowbringers get as much fanfare as a forlong gaze, or a like. him hanging out with his fairy bestie is such a cool storytelling decision. (also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot) basically, what i've been gushing about is the fact that vivi feels very much like a whole person, and is probably one of the most well realised wols ive ever read about. and his relationships with the world leaders, and this impossible burden hes forced to shoulder has gotten me to reconsider how i write my wol, because yeah! any hero might be strong-willed and resilient, but theyre still human, and the burden of a warrior of light is maybe, a little too much for anyone to bear.
i hope u could at least make something out of my rambles, but honestly to sum it all up i am incredibly captivated by vivi. i originally read fragments because i like ANY wolgraha content but now, i come back almost exclusively to see how vivi's story unfolds, and how graha eventually comes into the fold too. hes such a fascinating character, and i think youve done an incredible job of creating a well rounded hero, full of humanity!!! (also, if you want, feel free to post this on ur blog!!)
I think I shat myself like 5 times while reading this (positive)
Vivi being an enigma wasn't really part of the plan. We have a pool that's his lore, things I wanna tell, and a bottleneck through which it has to go. The comic format forces me to consider what bits of info to deliver when, there's only so much I can tell at a time. One deliberate choice I made is completely burn the bridge between ARR and ShB, skip, leave it empty. That already sparks questions when we see a different Vivi at the beginning of ShB (and gives me leeway, time to write with more nuance, I didn't Think about HW-SB in such scrupulous detail as ShB).
I wanted to tell a primarily ShB story from the start, but had less ambition, and planned to condense the angsty bits that you're reading nowadays into an infodump told by Vivi to no one (to the reader). Changing the receiving party to a tangible character who's eager to learn (Exarch) made the info easier to digest and anchored it in the world. This change, fwiw, happened in like 2022 while I drew the ARR arc, saw the warm reception, and got more excited about my thing. I constantly learn and try to improve, writing's a new toy that brings me tons of fun.
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So, when I learned the new trick - telling things through other characters - I thought, why not make everyone slightly wrong, or rather, with a specific snapshot of Vivi in their head. Same happens irl, people only know the version of you that they're exposed to, the only person who knows the full and real you is you.
That brings me to the next point, why Vivi feels so human: I made him not as a wol/hero, but a guy I wanna ship with Exarch, his foil. Obligatory note it was dumb of me to ignore Emet's existence in that case, but that's already changed. Exarch denies himself the simple human joys, he plots his own fucking death, so I thought I'd give him a guy that teaches him how to enjoy being alive again. That was THE foundation of Vivi, his core. He's a manic pixie dream boy.
Then I started asking how and why: why he falls for Exarch specifically instead of ARRRaha? He's confident, selfish, casual (these traits are what Exarch lacks), emotionally intelligent, where did that come from? He must've had an utterly normal life and loving family before he became a hero. He grew up being appreciated and happy. OH, then his ass must LOATHE the current situation because he can't go back to that normal life! So on, so forth.
i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering.
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This's me carefully dropping the breadcrumbs and hoping that you notice them, and you go HOLY SHIT BREADCRUMBS, this's so validating ;w; <3 This's overtly called a story hook, though I prefer "door". So far this story's only opened doors, as in hinted at more stuff without immediately showing it. I love it when questions get delayed answers, when you get time to stew on it and build up anticipation, then, when the door finally closes, it's much more satisfying. I keep in mind all the doors I've opened, if something provokes a question, it's by design.
(also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot)
You're 100% correct!! I'm not retelling the canon ShB story from a default wol pov, this's a custom thing focused on ships, therefore anything that doesn't contribute to said ships gets cut. You may read what's NOT shown as what Vivi doesn't pay attention to.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, this gave me so much motivation like you wouldn't know ;//////;
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jung-koook · 2 years ago
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230505 - namjoon on weverse: hello everyone it’s been a long time have you been well ive been just spending time and not doing too much im just trying to live in the present time
lately, ive been trying to confirm and discover what kind of person i am even when i have countless words i want to say i quickly end up forgetting what marks our 10th year of being revealed to the world is very soon everyone, how are you will it be okay
occasionally no, often, im curious of greetings, thoughts, sadness, hope and dispair, what it is that you’re currently beliving in and want to believe in. what it is that you’re chasing
whether youre feeling the seasons well as ive mentioned before, opening my mouth <to talk> is quite difficult im not sure. im just believing in the fact that im learning silence as im becoming an adult
many things are sad yet also happy sometimes <things> can be happy but then turn sad while watching videos of words ive said in the past i, by myself, feel shy now, the dull things that i seldom remember feels a bit regretful, empty, and strange i have times where i have confidence but don’t have perhaps i just want to be like this
honeslty, after returning, im curious and scared how it will be time flies by and everything changes and i, too, change i no longer want to ask for all your love irresponsibly anymore and athough i want to cling on crying, but won’t rather than wandering around searching for love i believe that if i am with love and grow myself with endeavors/effort, love will naturally come and find
its soon our 10th year anniversary as layers of dust made of time and mind/heart pile up, the truth that there are things that gradually grow more difficult is quite sad, but if you look at it in another way, couldn’t that be the weight of the mind and heart’? that’s just how much how big the piece that we’ve shared is every day, i give thanks in a simple way while recalling what my parts were as always, i will be well
all of you must have many times that are difficult and <times that are> very distressing but please take care/be well! from time to time, i’ll often be wondering again i think my words and letters are my ways of conveying my love to all of you from time to time i think it’s something like that be careful of the rain ! and be careful not to catch a cold ! <after some time passes> and it slowly starts slipping my mind i’ll come find <all of you> again please be healthy !
(trans. cr. miiniyoongs)
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lemon-wedges · 27 days ago
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Hello!!! I love your art and your style. I'd love to hear your inspirations behind how you draw and, in addition, hear a bit about your painting process (I love the impressionistic look your paintings have)
ahh!!! thank you so much ;u;
Ill tried my best to break down my thought process behind my drawing, so i hope this all makes sense aahaha
undercut cause it came out real long
SO Karl Gnass is an instructor that i took an anatomy class with. and who broke down anatomy in a way that really helped me grasp space. like space a figure occupies. and from that i think my characters feel a bit more...grounded? im not sure what the right word would be but tangible is something people sometimes say about my art.
And i do think when youre able to make a figure look like its really wrapping its hands around something it makes character interactions a lot more intimate.
heres a few under sketches i do when i start a drawing (i am trying REALLY hard not to use my nsfw ones tho those are pretty perfect when it comes to showing u anatomy RIP)
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after i got the poses done ill turn down the opacity and rough sketch out details on top of these. and once THATS done i move onto lineart. and the most important aspect of this step is NOT TO TRACE YOUR UNDER DRAWING!!!! thats what sucks the life out of your work!!!!
instead you use your undersketch as a guide. ilI actually redraw the simple anatomy underneath very lightly, erase where they over lap and then add line weight variety + darken up the details.
examples of this are gonna look a little messy but. Left is the original pose i drew out with rough details. right is the drawing i do on top of it. you'll see theyre not one to one and theres some lines i didnt fully erase out when redoing the anatomy. i find my clean up has a lot more energy when i do this.
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the thing about my style is that you'll notice i never actually do actual clean smooth lineart. and thats because i HATE DOING THAT SHIT. like i did learn how to do it and consistently forced myself to do it for over a year. and while i do think i learned a lot about line weight and drawing clearer. i realized? its just not for me. I like a textured brush and i like being able to see those small lines i didnt get to fully erase out because i think they look cool lol and thats ok!! do what you want forever man!!! its your art!!!
Also before i move onto painting ill show you this neat little trick. you know those more "loose" drawings of mine that feel more gestural? the begining process is exactly the same. the difference is i use a chunkier pen and try to see how much i can simplify details + just feel out the energy of lines
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NOW PAINTING.
man. where to even start.
the thing about painting is that its an entire different set of skills that need to each be honed on their own and will slowly build up together. ill break it down like this.
VALUE, COLOR, and TECHNIQUE
I've said this on another ask before but you'll notice ill do a lot of black and white sketches. and i do that to practice choosing how to group values.
like this example. how light is laios' wolf coat compared to his skin? or kabrus skin color compard to laios coat. when do you want to really push the contrast of light and dark and when do you let values be closer to each other when you DONT want attention
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the next step from this is adding a light source.
and when you're working in black and white its a lot easier to pay more attention where you want your light/how its gonna look like hitting youre characters and how far youre gonna push your shadows.
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and you know if you get good at this you can play with limited color palletes
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this is literally just be picking out blues and hitting the bottom with the gradient tool to light it up
NOW COLOR
is a lot harder and also very subjective. I do a ton of impressionist studies where i just color pick the fuck out of a piece to see what colors masters used + knowing the history of paint and what colors were available during that time period. +knowing what colors = what mood + knowing what colors to use when you want to be more realistic vs when you want to lean into more stylized+ what colors YOU specially incline towards + AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
its a lot and im actually still learning myself
But when i do a painting i collect a LOT of refrences of the kind of mood i want my own painting to feeling like. I've show the first example in another ask before but heres one from my latest labru too
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WHen i actually start a painting tho they look like this. The top drawings are just flat colors with a simple outline of where i want the light to be hitting. like in my value studies im just trying to get the idea down, seeing what values need to be darker vs what is lighter. and how the light source covers the character.
figuring this out in the begining makes the rest of the painting so much easier because youve essentially made all the big compostion decisions NOW. from here you can start playing with colors.
my second stage, youll see with drawings at the bottom, is when i start using my texture brush to lay in extra shadows and just play with variety.
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and then? i start rendering
that would be TECHNIQUE
And well....thats also something thats gonna be very subjective.
With my own style im not interested in rendering everything to perfection. Im trying to figure out how to texture hair/skin/clothes in ways that make them feel like the materials they are while also showing the energy of my brushstrokes.
I dont zoom in while i paint btw. everything i do is zoomed out so i can see the entire drawing. it helps me not tight up my strokes while also letting me build up all areas of the painting equally. the only time i zoom in is when im lining out the eyes/mouth of a character. and yeah. it drives me insane doing this because ITS SOOOOO Tempting to obsess over paint 1 area forever then zoom out and see that nothing matches lol
The other thing about my style of painting. Is that im not gonna use the exact same formula for every piece. like this isnt cell shading. you can have an idea of how to texture skin/clothes/hair and sometimes it looks great and beautiful in one painting and then it looks like shit in another. ive overhauled a lot of paintings multiple times because what i thought would work doesnt and ive had to force myself to explore and play with my brushstrokes. and you know? i wouldnt have it any other way. it means none of my paintings are gonna look alike! and i think thats pretty cool :D
ill leave you with this in the end. a painting im in the middle of doing and debating to overhaul cause im just not feeling the strokes. who knows what ill look like in the end
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anyways i hope this helped a little? even if you look at all this and go. IM NEVER GONNA DRAW LIKE THIS BOZO ahahah
BUT I WISH YOU LUCK ON YOUR OWN ARTS :DDDD
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axelsagewrites · 1 year ago
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Sage, my dear! I was reading your Daemon fic's and they are just perfect!😘🤌🏽 (especially the ones with poc!fem reader, there are so few stories where the reader is poc/non-white in this fandom… And it's great to find this kind of representation, and yours are so well written!!!) That said, could I get a shameless smut Daemon x poc!fem focused on his rings, as if reader is very attracted to his hands and rings and even fantasizes about him fingering her and he notices and gives her what she wants please?
Daemon Targaryen*Rings
Pairing: Daemon x f!reader
Word count 2540
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Warnings: flirting, teasing, hand fetish, rings, fingering, orgasm, nipple play, biting, smut 18+
Translations Zaldrīzesītsos – little dragon Ñuha qēlos – my star
a/n: first of all thank u annon ur so sweet <3 but also it should not be this hard to find poc ppl for my post headers smh i use pintrest but any other suggestions are appreciated
Masterlist Here
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It felt like the small council meetings drew on longer and longer as the months moved by. Sure, the wine was nice but that was only because you had it imported from Essos yourself. Most of the issues these men babbled about were of little concern to you anyhow as you were only here to represent your families across the seas while these men whined about taxes and castles. The only pleasure you got from these meetings was catching your Daemon’s eye across the table.
In all your time in Westeros he was the only one you could stand, and you supposed it helped that he was the one you were betrothed too. The arrangement had only been settled last week and you smiled when you noticed the dragon ring wrapped around his ring finger, a gift you had had carved from Valyrian steel when your engagement was struck.
Your mind began to wander further as the men droned on about something they would never decide upon anyhow. While usually you would stare into the stars instead your eyes were focused on Daemons hands. How they lazily lifted the wine to his sweet lips, how his fingers trailed over the curve of the glass in his boredom, or how whenever he grew frustrated, he clenched them into a fist so tight you wondered if his nails cut his palms.
Some may worry about a dragon being violent or unpredictable, but you were far too distracted by how you could use their fire to good use. Daemon had recently begun to deck his fingers out in fine silvers and stones with multiple rings on each hand. When he learned any man of importance in Essos wore a ring on each finger, he slowly began to adopt the practise. Three on one hand, two on the other. Soon he’d have quite the collection, not that you were complaining.
You wondered what it would feel like if he would leave the rings on. How the cool metal would sting your skin when he grabbed your hips like he so loved to do. Or even how it would feel when his fingers slipped inside of you, bringing you to the edge with only one hand. It was almost a challenge to Daemon; learning what to do to make you turn to water in front of him. It was a welcomed challenged to you.
“my lady!” A sharp voice shocked you from your thoughts, your head snapping up with a bewildered expression you tried to cover but you knew you had failed from the way Daemon smirked holding back his laugh, “are there any foreign affairs this week we should be concerned about?” Otto Hightower asked with a pointed look.
“no, my lord,” you said with a tight-lipped smile. The man was slimy since the day you first were forced to make his acquaintance. “Essos manages to run itself quite well, no issues on our side,” you said as you sipped your wine before adding, “though I think the crowns payment for their latest shipments of silks from the east is still pending but im sure you had that covered my lord,”
Otto did his best to cover his sneer as he nodded his head, “of course my lady. I’ll even see to it myself,” he said, his eyes not wavering from your gaze leaving you both in a stalemate.
An awkward clap from the king himself broke ottos gaze. Ha, you thought, bet you there Hightower. “well, that’s everything for today then. Thank you all for your sage advice and council but you are all dismissed for now. Lord Hightower a moment please?” The king said, barely managing to stand on his own as everyone began to filter out the room.
You had always made sure to sit at the chair farthest from the king so your exit would be the quickest, but it did not stop Daemon from catching up to you as you reached the stairs. “my lady,” Daemon said, and you didn’t even have to look up to see the smirk on his face. “are you quite alright? You seemed distracted today?”
“my mind had elsewhere to be my lord but do not fret,” you said, matching his tone as you took his arm to walk down the stairs, “your future wife is not gone with the fairies quite yet,” Daemon chuckled at the way you had began to pick up the Westerosi phrases the longer you were at court but with no more evidence he could not protest the issue any longer.
When dinner rolled around Daemon had invited you to join his supper in his chambers with three of his highest-ranking gold cloaks. Something about ensuring you had friends in high up places who were good with their swords as Daemon had put it. You tried to join in with the conversation, but your mind constantly wandered, your eyes flickering back to your betrothed, his hands specifically that was.
It was a fascination you did not know you had until the council meeting earlier but now you were fascinated with each movement and each ring. “careful my lord your lady wife looks like she’s readying to rob you of your rings,” one of the men’s jokes snapped your attention back to them.
All the men chuckled, and you did your best to force one out, “that’d be rather pointless,” Daemon chuckled, flexing his fingers to show off his rings. Gods that were not helping the arousal growing in your stomach. “most of them were gifts from her, weren’t they ñuha qēlos?” Daemon said, his eyes flickering back to you.
It was like the wind knocked out your lungs for a moment as you stared into those lilac eyes, “yes,” you eventually managed to stutter out, ignoring the curious look from Daemon however luckily the rest of the men had drunk so much wine they hadn’t the faintest clue this was out of the ordinary for you.
“perhaps we should call it a night,” Daemon said after a moment, standing from his chair, “before you drink me out of house and home,” he laughed as he helped the men to their feet. You did your best not to embarrass yourself again as the men dismissed themselves, bowing goodbye to you in a way you would never get used to.
When Daemon finally shut the door, you turned to begin gathering the plates into a stack, ignoring how Daemons eyes were fixed onto you. “you were rather quiet tonight ñuha qēlos,” he said, leaning against the door with his arms folded over his chest, “something the matter?”
“no,” you said glancing back at him with a fake smile, “just tired from a long day,”
“tired?” Daemon questioned, not moving from the door. You looked back ready to lie again when you noticed him playing with his rings. Your movements paused, your eyes locking onto the way he twisted the ring around his finger. When you saw Daemon looked up you quickly turned your eyes. “you don’t look tired,” he mused as he pushed himself off the door, lazily sauntering to your side as you tried to keep yourself busy.
“how kind of you my lord,” you rolled your eyes, trying to put your walls up when you felt his hand wrap around your wrist. “my lord- “
“we have servants to clean,” Daemon cut you off, pulling you to face him, your body just inches from his. You tried to think of something to say but you couldn’t as you felt his rings press into your wrist, wondering how they’d feel in other places. There was something about the way Daemon gazed down at you, his eyes unmoving that made your words stick in your throat, “if I didn’t know any better,” Daemon said as his free hand moved to hold your chin up, his lips now so close but so far away, “I’d say you were hiding something from me,”
“what would I have to hide my lord?” You said but now your voice could barely go above a whisper.
Daemon stepped in closer, his body now flush against yours, “I’ve never seen you so quiet. Tell me zaldrīzesītsos,” he mused, leaning down till his lips brushed against your ear, “what has been on that pretty little mind all day?” He whispered, before gently kissing your ear.
“nothing,” you said but you could not hide the shakiness in your voice.
Daemons hands moved to wrap around your waist, pulling you into his chest, “you can tell me ñuha qēlos. After all who am I to judge for what the heart wants,” he said, moving to look you in the eyes once more, “I only wish to help you, my lady. After all it is a husband’s duty to keep his wife pleased,” Daemon said before kissing the hollow of your throat, his head moving to rest on your shoulder.
“there is something,” you said after a few moments making Daemons head perk up. “its not important,” you tried to brush it off, but Daemon began to shush you.
His hands moved to cup your face, the rings metal feeling cool against your skin, “all your wants are important to me,” he said, his lips brushing against yours, “now tell me. What is it you want?”
“you,” you whispered as your hands moved to hold his wrists, “your hands, your fingers. I’ve been thinking about you all day,” you said, moving your head slightly to kiss the palm of his hand.
Daemon kept one hand on your face, the other moving to rest on your hip, “that’s all you had to say,” he said before you felt his lips crash onto yours. You couldn’t help but melt into the kiss, your body desperate from your mind’s thoughts all day. Daemon gripped your hip tightly, his other hand moving to the back of your neck so you couldn’t escape but you had no plans of that.
Daemon began to pull at your skirts, desperate to feel your skin on his. Your hands moved to the ties of your dress, making quick work of the fittings till you felt your clothes loosen. Daemon quickly pushed the dress down your shoulders, not caring as it hit the floor and got crumpled beneath his feet. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing it harshly making you gasp into the kiss as you felt the cold metal digging in.
You began to tug on his shirt and Daemon wasted no time in breaking the kiss to pull of his own clothes. You moved back, sitting on the table as you watched him undress till, he was bare in front of you. Your hands roamed his chest as he finally pulled himself free of his trousers. As Daemon went to reach for his hands to pull his rings off your hand shot out to grab his wrist. Daemon looked at you, his eyebrow raised in confusion, “leave them on,” you said, kissing his shoulder as your hand moved to hold his. “I like the rings,” you said as you traced the precious metals.
Daemon chuckled as he stepped closer, his hands moving to grab your hips, “good to know,” he hummed, his head dipping to capture your lips again.
He squeezed the flesh of your hips, the rings digging in making you moan into the kiss. Deciding to test the waters Daemon placed a soft spank on your ass, loving the way you gasped when the cool metal bit your flesh. After a few moments of enjoying himself and your noises Daemon turned his attention to you.
Your breathing caught as you felt on of his hands trail over the tops of your thigh, inching closer and closer to your wetness where you craved his touch. You whined when you felt him swipe a finger up your folds and heard him chuckle at your noises. “someone’s eager,” he said, his lips moving from yours to your jaw, kissing down your neck as he teased his fingers around your hole.
“please,” you whined as Daemon bit down on your collarbone, “I need you,” you whined as he pushed two fingers in, feeling the way he was already stretching you out. Daemon began to leave dark purple hickeys on your chest, knowing exactly where to leave them to avoid being caught. As Daemon began to curl his fingers you gasped when you felt his rings, loving the way the cool feeling against your wet skin.
“so desperate,” Daemon muttered, kissing down your chest, “so perfect,” he mumbled as he kissed around your nipple making it harden. Daemon chuckled as he saw your body’s reaction before taking in his mouth, sucking on it gently at first.
Your hand moved to his hair, tugging on his silver strands as you felt a familiar knot tighten in your stomach. Daemons spare hand moved to your free breast, squeezing it harshly making his rings press into the soft skin and making you moan again. “such pretty noises,” Daemon said, releasing your nipple for only a moment before he began sucking on it harder, his teeth grazing the sensitive bud.
You gasped as Daemon softly bit your nipple. You squirmed as Daemon moved his hand, repositioning it so his thumb could rub soft circles into your aching clit. “Daemon,” you whined as you felt yourself get closer with each pump of his fingers.
“look at you,” Daemon said before biting your chest making you gasp and your hips buck, “do you like when I fuck you with my fingers?” He asked, his lips ghosting over your skin.
“yes,” you whined, desperate for his lips against you again.
“you wanna come undone on my fingers, don’t you?” He said, nipping at your skin, his fingers curling to find an all too familiar spot making your body jerk.
You could feel your orgasm approaching, threatening to spill when he gave the command, “yes,” you moaned, not caring how loud it was as your fingers grasped his hair. “please,” you whined as Daemon kissed your neck. “I can’t wait anymore,”
Daemon moved his lips to hover against your ear, his breath fanning your neck, “then don’t,” Daemon whispered, biting your earlobe again, “I wanna see you fall apart on my fingers,” he said, his curling precise and his lips sucking harshly on your neck. You couldn’t hold back anymore, your legs twitching with each curl of his fingers and rub of your clit before your orgasm crashed through your body, your hands clutching onto Daemon as you rode it out not caring how loud you may be.
As you came down from your high, your legs feeling like mush and your body sweaty, you fell into Daemons chest. Daemon stroked your back, kissing your forehead gently. “so, you like the rings then?” He said, a smirk in his voice.
You looked up, laughing slightly as you regained your strength, “I guess you could say that”
Daemon lifted your chin with a finger, kissing your lips softly, “I’ll have to buy some more then,” he said before pulling you to stand from the table, his arms wrapping around your waist, “but im not done with you yet zaldrīzesītsos,”
Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila
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