#i think im nailing the tone of the game thank u

[confusionmeisss]

“𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫” 𝐠𝐟 - 𝐦. 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

🫧 matt sturniolo x fem!reader

🫧 in which you play dress to impress with matt during one of his solo streams

🫧 fluff

🫧 1.4k words.

🫧 hi lovelies!! thank u so much for reading! i was playing dress to impress and i was like just thinking like when i say im a gamer this is what i mean. i play the silly fun games. so i wanted to write matt with a girl like that as well. i hope u enjoy!!!! much love!! <3 masterlist

You sat on the bed, back against the headboard and one headphone in your ear watching Matt play Fortnite. It could honestly get a little boring, but Matt was cute to look at when he got upset, so you persevered.

“Oh, yeah she’s right over here,” you hear Matt say with a chuckle. You look up from your hand where you were peeling a piece of nail polish off your finger to see him leaning over looking at you.

“Hi,” He says with a grin.

“Hello. Weren’t you just playing Fortnite?”

“Mhm. But they asked about you,” he says, pointing his thumb to where the Twitch chat is on his screen.

“Ah,” you let out, getting up from the bed, you make your way over to Matt and sit yourself down on his lap.

“Hey y’all,” you say with a wave. “How is everyone? I hope you’re behaving yourselves.”

You feel Matt place his chin on your shoulder as you're reading through chat.

“‘Where did you get that shirt?’ Well, thank you for asking mattsbabygirl33, I found it in the depths of Nick's closet. Swear that kid has too many clothes,” you answer with a small laugh.

“‘Thoughts on cuddling?’ I love cuddles! Matt and I alternate between big and little spoon throughout the week!”

“Don’t tell,” Matt grumbles, burying his face into your neck. You reach a hand up to run it through his hair.

“Sorry love,” you laugh.

“I think as penance you have to finally give in and play a game on stream.”

“Can I at least pick the game?”

“‘Course,” Matt says, placing a kiss on your cheek.

You grin and lean forward, placing your hands on the mouse and keyboard.

“Don’t look, I want it to be a surprise!”

“Ok,” you hear Matt chuckle as you click around, before you start typing, then more clicking.

“Alright! You can look now!”

“What,” Matt asks slowly, “are we playing exactly?” He’s eying the block model on screen with confusion, and it makes you giggle.

“Dress To Impress! It’s a game on Roblox! I play it all the time when it’s real slow at work.”

“Okay. How do we play?”

“So, well right now we’re in intermission, but once that’s over we’ll be given a theme, and then we’ll have to dress up to the theme, and then we’ll model and vote, and see who ranks in the end. Then we do it over again.”

“Okay, sounds easy enough.”

You smile as you look at the screen noticing intermission is gonna be over in six seconds.

You eagerly lean forward, placing your hand on the keyboard. Grinning once you see the theme pop up.

𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐄

You got this in the bag. You practically grew up on Barbie.

You look over at Matt. “Ready?”

“Totally.”

You start moving your model around, making your way over to skirts to start off your look, going for the classic Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse. Once you’ve chosen your skirt and changed the color to fuchsia, you start looking for a top, then move on to shoes, before moving on to accessories.

“You have two minutes left!” Matt informs you.

“Oh trust me that’s plenty of time,” You respond, making your way towards the salon section to do hair and makeup.

“Which blonde looks better?” You ask Matt, switching between the two colors.

“Second one.”

You nod. “I was thinkin the same.”

You click the spacebar and watch your model hop out of the chair before you make your way over to the skin tone changer.

As soon as your model hops out, the screen goes black and states that voting is about to start.

The first model starts walking down the car walk and stops to pose and for you to vote.

“What the hell?” Matt says. “They’re not even on theme!”

“Yeah, that happens a lot,” You say with a sigh, keeping the vote on one star.

You and Matt vote and commentate on the next few outfits before it’s your turn.

“Oh, it’s us!” You clap happily. “Ok we have to pose,” you add after, moving the mouse toward the poses.

“I wanna pick,” Matt says, reaching over, making you move your hand.

“You gotta be quick with it.”

“Got it,” he says. You watch as he clicks through the poses, his tongue peeking out a little in concentration.

“Oh, our turns up!”

“We were the last to go, so now we see the top three winners.”

You both watch the screen change to announce the top three, the both of you hoping to be up on the podium somewhere.

“What the fuck!?” Matt exclaims, throwing his hands up, his brows furrowing. “None of them were even on theme!”

“As it happens,” you sigh, scrolling to see where you ended up ranking. Sixth place out of eight.

“I wanna play again,” Matt decides. “But I wanna dress the model this time.”

“Alright,” you agree easily. “We'll just have to wait in intermission before we’re given a new theme.”

You feel Matt nod as he rests his head back on your shoulder as you start to undress your model.

“‘This is why I can’t play this game, it’s just filled with nine year olds who don’t understand the theme’ Yeah, I feel you,” you respond to the chat. “That’s why I only really play when it’s slow at work, cause then I can’t publicly get too pissed.”

You’re reading through the chat, seeing if there’s anything else you wanna respond to when Matt taps your thigh.

“Eight seconds,” he mutters.

“Well, you’re dressing to impress this round, so get your hands ready mister.”

His hands snake around you to land on the keyboard and mouse and as soon as they land the next theme appears on screen.

𝐘𝟐𝐊

“Oh this should be so easy!” You gasp. “All you have to do is channel your inner Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, even Tarayummy!”

“You’ve got this,” you say, placing an encouraging kiss on Matt’s cheek.

“Mhm,” he hums, concentrating on getting his model over to the shirts he seen you pass earlier.

As Matt moves around to dress his model, you start reading through the chat again.

“‘Matt’s concentration and commitment to such a silly game is honestly so cute wtf’ Yes yes, I would have to agree, cvntynickk,” you laugh.

“‘Y/N, we need you here more often so he plays more than just fortnite!’ Ah, that’s kind of you chappellswift, but I don’t wanna be intruding too much,” you respond with a shy smile.

“Never intruding,” Matt mutters.

You smile at that, but it won’t stop the feeling.

“‘How to have a relationship like Y/N & Matt, no borax no glue plsss’ Just find someone who treats you right and respects you and the rest should really fall into place,” you say with a smile.

“Done!” Matt says.

You look over at the game and let out a gasp.

“Matt you did really good!” You look over at him to grin at him brightly.

“Thanks,” he says with a shy smile and slightly reddening cheeks.

The screen changes and voting commences. You and Matt go through the same process as last time. You watch Matt carefully choose each rating like this is America's Next Top Model and not a silly Roblox game.

Once it’s time for the winners to be announced, you feel Matt sit up just that bit straighter, and you struggle to reign in your smile at how serious he’s taking this.

The top three are revealed and,

“What the fuck!” Matt yelps out. “This is bullshit! None of what they’re wearing is y2k at all!”

He reaches over to see where he ranked and you watch as he stops and sees he got fifth place.

“Fuck this,” Matt huffs, leaning back in his chair. “I’m done with this game.”

“Alright then drama queen,” you laugh, exiting out.

“Thank you for having me, but I’m gonna go and get a treat now because I need my daily dose of sugar. Hopefully Chris didn’t eat all the donuts,” you mutter, placing a kiss on Matt’s head as you get up; Matt trying to get you to stay but not too hard knowing how you get without your sugar dose.

You wave bye to chat as well. “Maybe you guys will see me next time.”

“I’m so in love with her,” Matt says quietly to chat, but you hear it as you close his bedroom door; it makes a giddy smile appear on your face.

[fernsnailz]

HI . GET ON THE DISSECTION TABLE. taking your brain RIGHT NOW OH MY GODDDDD. OH MY god ,,, everything in the zine,,,,,

obviously the quality of your work, the art itself is so good ,,,, but OUGHHGGGGHGH i need to bang my head into a wall until im unconscious . like the title itself, starting off . woe mama we are in for a fucked up roboty treat . your comps . your writing . in the most respectful and awestuck tone possible . i need to kill you

my favorite i think is how you draw gemerl ,, all the robots you nail their expressiveness but oughh ,, him in particular makes me kick my feet . 'you are everything i fear becoming' makes me actually tear the fucking floorboards up the themes of autonomy ,,,,,, ,,, and how you storytell through your comic panels,,, the 'what a fool you are to think the doctor is gone' panel set makes me drink 2 Monsters and eat glass

THE . THE IMPOSSIBLE GOAL COMIC RAGHHHHHH. FAV FAV FAV . geninely shaking and trembling looking at it like jesus thats so fucked up ,,, your mind . your writing is so everything !! i would love to get any insight for how you workshop it because it is consistently breathtaking it sticks with me so heavily,,, one time i accidentally stole a line of dialogue word for word from your Never turn back zine comic and had to change it dfhjd,,,,, (wow this line is so cool ! ...a little toooo cool. squint.) but yeah god the last comic wow,, your panel compositions are banger after banger you are so good at consistently writing evocative stuff,,, tragic, rlly funny, hopeful, its so inspirational

thank u so much for putting together such a cool zine, would love to have it physically one day !

GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS EDIT IS KILLING ME. this is such a rewarding ask to get, i'm so glad you picked up on these things!!

my writing work shopping style is. hm. a bit all over the place. i have a lot of thoughts about it i'll put under a cut if you're interested. there's a lot of little things i've picked up that help me out so so much that i would really love to share!

ok FIRST i should note that it took me so goddamn long to write this thing. like i had the very very VERY first concepts for metal sonic good future like. a year ago. the first scrawlings are literally in a notebook right after some thumbnails i was using for dance in fire and i was editing dialogue up until two days ago. i'm ill

BUT!!! there are a few things i like to keep in mind when i write/edit that have really helped me!

GET OTHER PEOPLE TO READ YOUR STUFF. ESSENTIAL STEP. i get stuck in holes with my work a lot and having beta readers and other eyes on this thing made it like a million times better

sometimes you have to kill your baby. there will be certain lines or moments that you ADORE that simply don't fit into the larger piece, and you gotta just cut it out to make it better sometimes. but usually this gives birth to an even cooler and more epic baby. or sometimes your killed baby is also resurrected later to be used in a different scene. does this make any sense

figuring out what emotion you want a scene to make people feel is very important - with this in mind, i also pay really close attention to how my writing or scene concepts make me feel physically. i think this is the thing that has helped me most with work shopping anything i want to be evocative. does a line make me tense my jaw? make my teeth vibrate? make my chest tight? do i suddenly feel the blood in my hands? if it makes me feel something within my body, i try to draw on that physical sensation when forming the rest of the scene.

ok this last one is. stupid. as i was wrapping up this thing i went through a final edit phase i'd call "Garten of Banban Vision." Garten of Banban is an indie horror game that has uhhh kinda mid dialogue. a lot of it focuses on exposition, and any emotion in it feels a bit hollow. with this in mind, i read through everything one last time and imagined like all of the lines were from a Garten of Banban game and spoken in the character's monotone voices. if the line felt like it could fit a little too well in the Garten of Banban world, i considered editing it. but if i started thinking "oh shit this is pretty good for a Garten of Banban game" i knew it was fine. do you understand what i was alluding to when i said my writing process is a bit all over the place

in conclusion. writing hard

[marshmallowprotection]

hi! can i ask for a romantic matchup please?

personality — i’m definitely an ambivert but introvert leaning. i value my alone time a lot but also when i want to hang out, im suppperrrr clingy!!!! my love language is probably quality time (and my love language that i react best to is gift giving - not necessarily in a vain way but i guess it can be seen as that; i just feel very touched when people are willing to spend money or time on me to buy or make me something). i’ve been described as bubbly but i personally don’t think i am, although i can see it? it’s more of a persona i put on for other people and while i like it, only my closest closest friends see me at my “normal” state where im actually kinda monotone LOL i kinda look like 😐 but that’s how i know im comfortable enough with someone to put my persona to rest lolll. ive also been described as “big brained” and “someone who does too much” in terms of schedule and being busy so take that as u will LOL (for context i’m a college student)

hobbies — my biggest hobbies… crocheting, playing on my switch (persona 5!!), ans reading trashy fantasy ya novels 🫶🏼 love love love my girl hobbies !!!!! i also love watching anime and reading manga but not to the point of weebery lolll and i like kpop a lot!! i learn a lot of kpop dances. also i guess dyeing my hair is lowkey a hobby… i have purple toned black hair rn (my natural color is black) but in recent years ive also had light pink, split pink and green, split pink and blue, plum, teal tips, and caramel hair lol.

physical appearance — speaking of physical attributes … again, colored hair. i have a few cartilage piercings. im asian ? i’m pretty petite (feels corny to say 😭), im about 5’0 and random fun fact is that i have tiny fingers, like literal child sized nail bed

etc. — i’m an infj with OCD ?? and i love cats and dogs and i want a pet snakeeeee!!! also im a comp sci double major. ive never been in a romantic relationship although i have come close maybe a few times. lastly i loveeee nicknames and pet names!!

thank you! idk if this is too much info lol but ty anyway 🫶🏼

I match you with...

Jumin!

It might sound odd, but hear me out! You said yourself that you're the kind of person who values quality time, and quality time means that you get to be yourself with somebody who understands who you are at your core. You don't have to pretend to be somebody you're not, and you don't have to wear a mask when you're with them. You don't have to overcompensate! The right person would be somebody you could enjoy doing anything with, even sitting in silence. 

Jumin values that, too. People misunderstand his love language and assume that it's only gift-giving sometimes. Sure, that's a fact of his personality, but that's not the entirety of his being. He wants to be with somebody who understands him and someone he understands in return. You never have to be afraid when you're with him. You can talk about every passion and hobby you have, and isn't that the most fun you can have with another person?

He can talk about as much magic as he wants and you can talk about as much Persona and other video games that you want. There's something very intimate and sweet about a love that is built on the foundation of being able to be who you are without shame. 

[nohydro]

do we think raz pre-whispering rock listened to creep by radiohead and creep by radiohead only. i think so. more in the tags

[hopelikethemoon]

Adventurous (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Adventurous Rating: PG-13 Length: 1900 Warnings: Vague discussions of sex, banter.  Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set the Summer of 1999. Ya’ll I have missed writing this week, but I’ve been so fucking busy and mentally not here.  Summary: Reader and Javier spend the night out with friends. 

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Monica scrunched up her nose as she took a sip of the martini. Her lips pursed together as she dramatically swallowed it and gagged. “How does anyone drink that? It tastes like nail polish remover.”

“Do you drink nail polish remover?” You questioned as you took the glass back from her and took a drink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s good.”

Connie nudged you in the arm, “You used to be all about the fruity drinks.”

You laughed, “No, I used to be all about whiskey shots and cheap beer.” You took another sip of the martini, before plucking a fry off the platter in the middle of the table. “Tastes change.”

“Oh?” Connie shook her head as she laughed. “Don’t let Javier hear that.”

“Drink tastes change.” You corrected, eating another fry. “He already knows he’s stuck with me.”

Monica took a sip of the fruity concoction she was drinking, seeming far happier with that choice. “Aw, true love.” She teased, “I mean, I tell Nadia she’s stuck with me all the time.”

You glanced back towards the pool table, where Javier, Steve, and Nadia were playing around over drinks. Javier must’ve sensed your eyes on him because he turned to meet your gaze. 

Javier pretended to look around, before pointing to himself. “Who me?” He mouthed.

You cocked your head to the side, grinning back at him. “Yeah.”

Connie nudged you in the ribs, causing you to turn back around to the table. “Not again.”

“What?”

She frowned at you, “You two are not vanishing into the bathroom together.”

Your cheeks burned and you snatched up two fries from the dish to shovel into your mouth. “It only happened once.”

Connie arched a brow at you, “It’s happened more than once.”

“Oh yeah.” You nodded slowly, before picking up your martini and taking a long drink of it. “What can I say? We strike while the iron is hot.” 

“Hi, Javier.” Monica said with a cheeky grin. “We were just talking about you.”

“All good I hope.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth, cue stick still in hand as he leaned against the booth beside you. “This seat taken?”

“It is.” You retorted, looking up at him with a smirk. “Handsome guy, about your height.” You recalled, meeting his gaze. “His ass looks really good in the pair of jeans he’s wearing today.”

Javier tapped his thumb against the side of the cue stick, “Think he’ll mind if I steal his seat for a minute.”

“Oh good, God.” Monica groaned, hiding her face in her hands. 

“I know I won’t mind.” You rested your elbow on the table and propped your chin up on it. “But Connie has put a moratorium on any fun tonight.” 

“Really?” He propped the cue stick up against the side of the booth, before sitting down beside you. “And why’s that?”

Connie rolled he eyes dramatically, “Because the two of you always bounce afterwards.”

“We do have a dog that needs to be let out.” You pointed out, turning towards Connie, even as your fingers found Javier’s beneath the table. 

Javier pressed his leg against yours, his fingers sliding in between yours. “So is this what the three of you were chatting about?”

“Not intentionally.” Monica made a disgusted face. 

You tilted your head to look at him, “I think they’re shaming us.”

“I can tell.” He shook his head solemnly. Javier released your hand and plucked the skewer out of your drink, pulling the olive off and popping it into his mouth. 

“Rude.” You teased, releasing his hand giving his thigh a scolding slap beneath the table. “I was going to eat that.”

Javier smirked at you, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek before pulling back. “You want another?”

You nodded, giving his leg three short squeezes before he slid out of the booth and headed towards the bar. 

“You two are disgusting.” Monica pretended to gag. 

“Connie and Steve are just as disgusting when they put a little effort into it.” You retorted, nudging Connie in the ribs. 

Connie pursed her lips and gave you a skeptical look, “I don’t think that’s true.” She laughed, shaking her head. “Sometimes, I really think marriage takes the shine off things.”

“I don’t know if that is true.” You arched a brow at her. “Nothing actually changes.”

“If the two of you would ever get married, you’d understand.” Connie gave you a look as she sipped at her fruity cocktail. 

You rolled your eyes and finished off the last of your martini, “That’s never going to happen.” You said a little unenthusiastically as you looked towards the bar where Javier was. 

A woman at the bar seemed entirely unphased by Javier’s chilly demeanor. She was cozied up beside him, trying her best to get his attention. 

“I’ll be right back.” You told them as you slid out of the booth and headed towards him. 

“Is this seat taken?” You questioned, repeating Javier’s earlier words with the same coy tone. 

Javier looked relieved as he turned to look at you, “No. It’s all yours, baby.” 

“Thank you.” You offered, running your fingers down the back of his arm as you sat down on the stool. “Waiting on your wife?” 

Javier pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, “She doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Oh.” You wiggled your brows, your eyes flickering towards the woman who looked quite pressed about your appearance. “How scandalous.” You said as you reached for the martini sitting in front of him. 

Javier ran his tongue along his bottom lip as he watched you take the olive off the end of the skewer and pop it into your mouth. “You come here often, baby?”

“A time or two.” You said as you took a sip. “Usually there’s this one really hot guy here.” You pretended to look around. “He’s a little stuck in the seventies, but he pulls it off.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to interfere with your plans.” Javier drawled out, even as he reached out and rested his hand on your forearm, rubbing his thumb over your skin. “What if he shows up?”

You tried not to laugh at the look on the woman’s face as she took the hint and retreated away from the bar. “See, you are getting good at roleplay.” You teased, stretching your leg out to brush your foot against his leg. 

“Stuck in the seventies?”

“It’s the mustache.” You told him with a grin. “And the hair has this Magnum P.I. thing going on.”

His brows rose upwards, “That would be why Steve keeps calling me Magnum.” 

You snorted, “At least you're hot.” 

Javier scoffed as you leaned in to kiss him, “Connie’s gonna think we’re running off to the bathroom again.”

“It’s only happened… a few times.” You made a face as you patted his cheek and looked back to the booth. Nadia and Steve had returned from their game of pool, lending to an animated conversation at the table. “Besides, that’s not what I have in mind.”

“Yeah?” He clicked his tongue against his teeth, resting his hand on your bare leg as he turned on the stool to face you. “What’s on your mind?”

“Well,” You started, taking another sip of the martini in hopes that it would quell the sudden rush of nerves you felt. “I thought we might preserve an evening for posterity’s sake.”

“For posterity—“ His eyes widened. “Oh. Yeah.” Javier nodded, a lazy grin spreading over his lips. “Baby, I would love to be able to revisit how fucking perfect you are.”

“I thought you’d be in it.” You laughed softly, reaching up to cup his cheek. “You loved those polaroids.”

Javier chuckled lowly as he reached for his drink, “My favorite part was finding them fifteen minutes before class.” He took a sip and sat it back down on the bar, giving you a look. 

“Oops.” You shrugged, chewing on your bottom lip as you looked at him. “I actually thought about it a few months back… but,” You played your fingers over his hair. “I was waiting.”

“You’ve almost convinced me to grow it out year-round.”

“Really?”

Javier pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek. “Maybe.”

Before you had a chance to respond, Steve inserted himself between the two of you, slinging his arms over your shoulders. 

“You two get bored of us?”

Javier punched him in the stomach, “Oh, fuck of.”

“Steve, you’re interrupting a very important conversation.”

He looked between the two of you, “And what’s that?”

Javier chuckled, “We’re planning our sex tapes. When are you free to watch the kids, Murphy?”

Steve pretended to gag, dramatically coughing and clearing his throat. “I naively thought the two of you would get better. Still the same menaces you were in Colombia.”

“Pretty much,” You nodded, “Except he doesn’t have to hang out at brothels to have a good time anymore.”

“You’re still picking up strange men at the bar.” Steve pointed out, nodding his head towards Javier. 

“The strangest.” You grinned at Javier. 

Steve scratched at his jaw, “Let’s rewind. Did you really say sex tape?”

Javier shrugged, “Sure seems like I did. You going deaf in your old age, man?”

He punched Javier in the arm, “Look who’s talking.” Steve mimicked pushing glasses up his nose. 

“At least I have both of my balls.” Javier countered without hesitation. 

Steve snapped his fingers, “Oh yeah? What good is two balls when you’ve had the snip?”

“Ouch.” You nearly snorted your martini as you dared to take a drink. 

Javier narrowed his eyes at Steve, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek as he weighed the options for his next move. 

“Boys, let's change the topic before one of you says something you regret.” You cautioned, “And it’ll all be because of a fucking sex tape.”

“Yeah.” Steve cracked his neck as he took a shuffling step back. “Sorry, Javi. I know that wasn’t a great time—“

“Don’t fucking apologize.” Javier huffed, waving his hand dismissively. “Ruins the fun of winding you up, man.” 

You groaned as you hid your face in your hands. “You’re both ridiculous.” 

Steve slung his arm around you again, “Isn’t that why you’ve stuck around for so long?”

“Is that way?” You laughed. “I thought it was the two kids I had with Javier.”

“That’s why you’re sticking around?” Javier rolled his eyes. 

“That and the sex.” You kissed your fingers. “The adventurous sex.”

“I think Connie is calling my name.” Steve said abruptly, giving your shoulder a pat. “We’ll be over here.”

“He’s so easy to squick out.” You mused, watching Steve walk back to the expectant table. 

“That’s something we should record.” Javier stated.

“Making Steve uncomfortable?” You arched a brow. “I mean, I’m into that.”

“Adventurous stuff.”

Your cheeks burned hot and you knew it had nothing to do with the alcohol. “Yes.” You reached for his knee and gave it a squeeze. “I would love for you to see how good you look…”

Javier rested his hand over yours, rubbing his thumb over the side of your hand. “Let’s make it happen.”

“I love you.” You whispered as you leaned in to kiss him. Instead of answering, he squeezed your hand three times as he kissed you back. 

[illfoandillfie]

DMs

Pairing: Ben Hardy x F!Reader

Summery: You run a nsfw snapchat account. Ben's horny.

Warnings: SMUT (18+), partially written as chat text, video chat sex, masturbation, fingering, sex toys, nipple play, voyeurism I guess, fuckboy ben

Words: 3774

A/N: Inspired by something El posted. I love Ben but he’s got them fuckboy/lad vibes and im positive he’d get down on some sc porn

Taglist:  @laedymoon​  @dtfrogertaylor​   @ezmina98​  @vee-ndetta​ @atomic-watermelon​ @kellypenac​ @labessieisallama​ @deakyclicks​ @jennyggggrrr​ @drowseoftaylor​  @hannafuckingsucks​  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming​ @queenmylovely​

@veriloquently​

Your phone buzzed, the familiar noise distracting you from your book. Considering you’d just posted a new photo, partially hidden by emojis, to Instagram and updated your snapchat story with the uncensored version, it was hardly surprising you were getting messages.

YourNewDaddy: Mmm baby let me pound you

You clicked through to his profile. Absolutely nothing. The profile picture was some abs that could belong to anyone. No recent snaps, nothing. For a few seconds you considered replying with your payment details but decided against it. He wasn’t worth your time.  

The whole NSFW account thing had started a while ago on Tumblr and then Instagram. A way to kill time and get some attention that you weren’t receiving in the real world. But then the porn ban had happened which severely limited what you could post, so you’d mostly moved to Snapchat, using everything else to advertise. A few months after the move you started getting guys offering to pay you to do specific things. One had wanted an audio recording of you calling him Daddy and begging for his cock with a few moans thrown in. Another had wanted a video of you and a dildo, though he’d had to pay more. Since then you’d used your accounts to pick up a bit of extra cash here and there. Nowhere near enough to live off of, but it came in handy.

You clicked back out of the app, put down your phone and went back to your book, hoping someone entertaining would at least comment on the photo soon. Barely half a page later another ding pulled you away. This time Instagram.  

Benhardy: Just came over you

Quick and to the point. Fuckboy energy. You clicked onto his profile half expecting another faceless timewaster. No description or links to other sites but he had a profile picture. And some fifty odd photos. Not many posts considering his million followers but at least you knew he was a real person. You scrolled through his feed trying to put gather what info you could before you responded. Lots of photos of himself sometimes with friends. A few that were clearly modelling jobs or, more likely considering the movie trailers and saved story called Oscars 2019, promotional photoshoots for magazines. And he was a proud dog dad. Definitely attractive. You wondered briefly why someone so handsome was getting off to half dressed girls on Instagram but put it out of your mind as you opened his conversation up again. Who cared why as long as he was talking to you? After all, he was hot and willingly giving you attention. Plus, if he was an actor or whatever he probably wouldn’t mind paying for something special, once you’d given him a taste. The only question left was how to approach the conversation.  

You: Really? That’s so flattering!

You: Kind of wish you’d cum over me for real tho, bit bored

Benhardy: dirty girl

Benhardy: could probably think of some way to keep you busy

Benhardy: you’re fit

You: haha aww thank you! I post more often on snap if you wanna follow. don’t have to hide behind swimwear and emojis there. easier to chat too, unless you prefer kik or something

He didn’t reply. You frowned at your phone wondering if you’d shown your hand too soon. Perhaps you should have kept up the flattered damsel act a little longer, waited before mentioning Snapchat. Maybe he wasn’t looking for a chat, just genuinely wanted to compliment you, even if it was in a gross slightly derogatory way. Or maybe he just got cold feet. You sighed as you swiped back to check what other people had been sending you. A few more ignorable accounts, a couple messages you didn’t like enough to respond to straight away. And then another Snapchat notification.  

Ben Jones: had to create an account but I’m here

You: oh! you’ve changed your name

Ben Jones: Hardy’s the stage name lol

You: hmmm hardy… little bit of a pornstar name

You: or could be if you changed the ben part.

Ben Jones: that’s my backup plan in case actual acting doesn’t work out lol

Ben Jones: not too out of place right now tho

You: haha that because of me?

Ben Jones: maybe. loved the photos in your story you’ve got great tits

Ben Jones: kinda wanna see you pinch and pull on them

And so it began. You leaned forward to pull your shirt off and then settled back against the pillows, running your fingers around your nipple until it was hard. Angling the camera towards your chest you pinched your nipple between your thumb and forefinger, rolling it between them. The camera clicked as you took a photo and then clicked again as you tugged your nipple away from your body, hissing a little at the pain.

You: Like this?

Ben Jones: perfect

Ben Jones: really are lovely tits.

You: surprisingly don’t hear that much irl so ty

Ben Jones: u don’t? criminal

You: lmao yeah but that’s what I have you for

Ben Jones: happy to help

Ben Jones: What are you wearing?

You: Just a pair of knickers now

Ben Jones: sexy

Ben Jones: can I see?

You: just the knickers or the whole look?

Ben Jones: whole look first

Ben Jones: then just the knickers so I can see the wet spot you’re making

You wriggled against the pillows, shuffling further down the bed. Long ago you’d learnt which angles were the easiest to take photos in and which were the best to show off your body. A full body shot was easiest when you leaned your phone up against a stack of books or something at the foot of the bed and used the timer on the camera to get a few shots of you kneeling. It left your hands fee to squeeze your tits if that seemed appropriate or slip into your underwear, or to put behind your back in a pose that seemed innocent but actually pushed your hips and chest forward. For Ben though you felt something that appeared a little more casual would be appropriate. You lay back, head raised slightly on your pillows, feel flat against the mattress so your knees were in the air and pressed together. Carefully you positioned the camera, wrist twisted a little to get the angle just right. You brought your free hand up to your breasts, pulling your nipple again since Ben seemed to like it, and snapped a photo. The shot of your underwear was easier, legs spread, pushing your hips up slightly to get a clear shot of the wet patch that had been slowly growing since the start of the conversation, though a little added saliva to make it more obvious didn’t hurt. He wouldn’t be able to tell.  

Ben Jones: hot

Ben Jones: like got me so hard again hot

You: does that mean I get a picture in return?

Ben Jones: Only if you take your knickers off for me

Ben Jones: wouldn’t be fair otherwise since im not wearing underwear😉  

You took your time sending him a new photo and got one back almost straight away. You would have scoffed at his eagerness to show himself off but, with a body like his you couldn’t really blame him. You zoomed into the photo, trailing your eyes over every inch of it. Messy blonde hair, though whether it was intentionally messy or just like that from him grabbing it while he jerked off over your photo you weren’t sure. Gorgeous eyes, heavy lidded and a little fucked out. One arm behind his head as he lay on his bed. It looked carefree and spontaneous, like someone else had taken the photo at the very moment he looked at the camera, but it showed off the muscles in his arms too well to be coincidence. And speaking of muscles. The boy was a fucking Adonis. You were instantly struck by the desire to drag your nails down his chest and leave a trail of hickeys and bite marks all the way down to his toned stomach and tight waist. You clenched your thighs together at the thought as you slowly revealed the bottom half of the photo. He had his legs outstretched though one was more bent than the other, knee jutting out to the side. Almost too casual to be casual, especially with the way he had his hand wrapped around his cock, like the photo was taken mid stroke. You couldn’t help linger over that particular part of the photo. It was a lovely hand, big with noticeable veins, exactly the sort that could make you weak in the knees. And the same could be said for the dick it was holding. You wondered briefly where this Ben guy had come from and what you could possibly have done to catch his attention.  

Ben Jones: is that silence because you’re so impressed

The message made you roll your eyes. Hot he might be, but he was still just another desperate fuckboy looking for a naked girl to drool over and a quick orgasm.  

You: well I’m not not impressed

Ben Jones: no need to be shy. just say you’re imagining riding me and I'd understand

You: wasn’t before. Am now.

Ben Jones: what were you picturing before?

You: doggy

Ben Jones: be happy to let you try both and compare.

You: let me film it and watch the tapes back to study your game?

Ben Jones: wait this is dumb.

Your frowned at your phone. For such typical guy, the sort you’d dealt with so many times before, Ben sure was hard to pin down.  

You: what?

Ben Jones: you comfortable doing live chat?

Ohhhh

You: umm sure thing

Ben Jones: you don’t have to

You: i know that. you couldn’t force me to even if you wanted, beauty of doing this online. i just don’t do live very often. or I charge for it.

Ben Jones: that desperate for me?

You: you caught me in a good mood

You let the call ring for a bit, wanting to make sure Ben understood how in control you were and how much more he needed it than you. But eventually you picked up, settling back against your pillows. Ben seemed to be in a similar position, leaning against his headboard, the screen showing you his face and bare shoulders. “Hi,” “Hi,” his voice was deeper than you’d expected, thrown by how soft and, dare you say, feminine his features were, and yet it suited him perfectly. You could only imagine how that voice would sound growling out sexually charged complements, the thought appealing enough to have you pressing your thighs together. There was a moment of silence as you took each other in, not quite sure how to continue now that you’d switched from text.   “So you going to show me how wet you are?” Once again his demeanour had you wanting to roll your eyes though you refrained, “No.” “No?” His confusion was entertaining to say the least. So many of the men who contacted you assumed you were going to be outright submissive and meek, taking whatever photos they demanded and doing everything they told you to with a smile and a yes sir. So proving them wrong, defying them, taking control, that was fun. Almost an aphrodisiac in its own right. Sometimes you’d eventually submit, play the brat and then let them win, and if they were paying it was a different story. But Ben struck you as the kind of guy who could use a little more pushback. Probably used to getting his way, having his pick of the litter. Lord knows had he hit on you in real life you probably would have agreed to whatever he wanted just to feel his hands on you. But here, on your profile, you had the power. Plus, in the back of your mind you suspected that being a little more assertive might just make him more interested in seeing you submit and maybe a little more willing to pay for the pleasure.   “Not yet.” “Bit of a bold move considering I could just go find someone else to look at. There’re these things called porn sites, yeah?” “But they’re so impersonal. Isn’t this more fun?” He paused, eyeing you, and then let out a breath, “You got me there.” “Figured, since the video chat was your idea and all.” “Just got sick of typing one handed.” “Mmhmm, sure.” “So are you going to show me your cunt then?” “Eventually. But what’s the rush?” you stood up, making sure to let the camera dip just a little so Ben got a quick flash of your chest. “How about I’m hard as hell and want to get off?” “You’re not the only one who wants to get off so just hold your horses for a second while I get my toys.” “There are toys now?” You could see Ben’s shoulder move as he started to stroke himself again. “Told you to hold your horses. Stop touching yourself.” Ben’s arm stopped its movement though he seemed a little taken aback by his own obedience. “Good boy,” you watched for Ben’s reaction, not disappointed as he swallowed hard, his cheeks going pinker than they already were. That was interesting. “Yes there are toys, you wanna see?” “Do I get to pick which ones you use?” “Maybe,” “Go on, show me then,” You flipped the camera around as you opened your chest of draws. There wasn’t much in there, a couple different dildos and vibrators, a set of nipple suckers, mostly things you’d bought to fulfil requests guys were paying you for. You picked up the nipple suckers and held them up to the camera. “I assume you’d like to see me in these since you liked watching me play with my nipples.” “Mmhmm, absolutely. Also want to see you with a dildo. You got one with a suction base? Might tell you to ride it the way you’d ride me,” he seemed to be doubling down on the pull for control after you’d seen his reaction to being told what to do, determined to put you in your place or whatever. “Unfortunately, no. But this one will do,” you took hold of a silicon dildo, pulling it from the draw, “Don’t think it's as big as you but it does vibrate and that’s guaranteed to work.” “I’ll allow it, though I think we both know I’d be better.” “I’m going to ignore that,” you said as you turned the camera back towards you and headed back to your bed, settling against the pillows again. You propped the camera up against a pillow so Ben could watch as you placed the suckers over your nipples, whimpering at the sudden taught feeling. You picked the phone back up, giving Ben a closer view of your boobs. “They suit you. And you can ignore it all you like but when you start doing what I say and I let you fuck yourself into your third orgasm I’ll remind you. Maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll tell you where you can meet me in real life and show you exactly how good I am.” “You’re a cocky one, aren’t you?”   “In every sense. If I remember correctly you were speechless at the sight.” “You’ve got a bad memory, Benny boy.” Slowly you let your fingers trail down to your pussy. You didn’t believe he was as good as he thought he was – you’d dealt with too many overconfident wankers, both in real life and online, to believe another one – but the game you’d fallen into, the back and forth teasing, not entirely sure who was in control at any one time, was arousing to say the least. It was certainly one of the less predictable conversations you’d had recently.   “If not speechless then certainly wet. Show me your pussy, wanna see you touching yourself.”” “Who said I’m touching myself?” you slipped a finger into your entrance, trying to keep your breathing even.” “You’re not as good at hiding it as you think you are. So show me.” “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Ben gave you a fleeting look, eyebrow raised, before his camera flipped and you were once again looking at his hand wrapped around his cock, red and leaking precum. You turned your camera too, making sure he had a good view. “Add a second finger for me.” You did as he asked, “You been a good boy and not touched? Or do I have to tell you off for misbehaving?” “I didn’t but it wasn’t because of anything you said. Just didn’t want things to finish before I heard you beg me to cum.” He began to stroke himself, keeping in time with the slow pace you’d set as you pumped your fingers in and out of your pussy. “Sure,” you panted, adding a third finger, “so if I told you to stop now,” His hand halted. “Well aren’t you just so obedient,” You removed your fingers from yourself, reaching to grab the dildo, “you wanna see me fuck myself properly? Watch me cum all over this toy, pretend it’s your cock making me moan?”   “God yes,” his voice cracked a little, fingers twitching against himself as he briefly let the cocky, controlling persona fall away. It didn’t last long, “Show me how deep you can take that cock. C’mon, I know what a fucking slut you are, getting off on people watching you.” You didn’t bother arguing, sliding the dildo along your dripping folds before pressing it into yourself with a whine. “Wait, hang on a sec.” The was the sound of shuffling and the screen went black as Ben moved around but, eventually, he flipped the camera again and settled back on the bed. He’d propped his phone up somewhere in front of himself, letting you see every inch of him from his face to his hard, leaking cock, “better?” “Oh much, hang on I’ll do the same," you carefully pulled the dildo from yourself and sat up, leaning your phone against a stack of books on your bedside table and then adjusting your pillows in front of it, “we good?” “Yeah, take the nipple things off though, wanna see your tits properly.” You did as he asked, letting out a soft moan at the sensation. Ben chuckled, “God I can’t wait to hear how loud you moan imaging how hard I’d fuck you.” You slid the dildo back into your entrance, slowly pumping it in and out of yourself as you brought your other hand up to squeeze your breast, “mmm, you look so pretty when you’re all needy Benny.” It wasn’t a lie, between his lust blown eyes, flushed cheeks and soft pout, Ben looked incredible and it only turned you on more, “Want to show me how needy you can get? Want me make you beg?” “Faster. Harder,” he ignored your questions in favour of giving you another order but you were sure you��d heard his voice crack just a little. You sped up, whining with each thrust, Ben’s hand matching your pace as his slid his thumb over the tip and spread the precum over his length. “Fuck your wet, I can hear it. That all because of me?” “Maybe a-a bit. Also just like, fuck, being watched,” “Turn on the vibrator and rub your clit,” Ben’s voice was husky, impossibly deep and rough, “don’t stop until I say.” You moaned as the vibrations started, angling the dildo to rub against your g-spot on every pass.   “There you go, being a good little slut. Gonna cum how I tell you to.” “On-only if you cum how I tell you to.” You almost let the dildo fall from your grasp, so shocked were you by the whine Ben let out, “Like that idea? Want me to tell you what to do? If I told you to stop and watch me would you?” “No,” he said, steadfastly sticking to the game although his hand faltered and his voice had mostly lost the controlling edge he’d had before, all desperate, whiny need. “N-not sure I beli-eve you.” “Please don’t stop. Wanna cum so bad,” “I know y-ou do Benny.” “You close?” “Yes, fuck Ben, so close.” “Cum for me, come on, be a good slut and cum,” “Not. Yet. Play with your balls Benny, wanna see you cum first.” His gasped turned into a strangled cry as he ran his fingers over his testicles before lightly squeezing them “T-turn the vibrator higher,” Neither one of you were in control anymore, too caught up in getting yourselves and each other off, though you were both determinedly looking at the screen, watching each other. Ben’s lip was caught between his teeth, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he let out some of the prettiest moans you’d ever heard. It only served to push you closer to the edge, your own moans escaping as you bucked your hips rhythmically in time with the dildo moving in and out of your cunt. Ben finished a split second before you did, your eyes glued to the white now painting his stomach as you held the dildo in place, its vibrations making your toes curl.

The was a moment of quiet as you both collected yourselves, the only sounds his panted breaths and your soft whine as you removed the dildo from yourself, and then Ben spoke.   “Fuck that was hot.” “Yup,” “I thought your tits were good enough to wank over but Christ. That’s gonna keep me going for a bit.” You laughed, relaxing as your heart gradually fell back to its normal rhythm, “Well not too long I hope. You’re fun and I’d be happy to chat again sometime.” “Did I see in your bio that you take commissions?” “Yuuup,” “Huh, well, I’ll keep that in mind then.” “I look forward to it,” “Well, I should be off then, gotta clean up,” he gestured to the mess drying on his stomach. “Yeah, me too, maybe have a nap. That really was fun though so next time you’re bored or whatever hit me up. If you’re lucky I’ll let you boss me around. If you’re luckier I’ll do the bossing,” “I’d like to see you try,” “That whine you made says you’d enjoy it quite a lot,” “My whine? What about yours? Needy little brat.” Guess you’ll have to come back and settle this then.” “Guess I will. See you later.”

[shsldepressedlesbian]

If you want, could you do 20 for komahina?? Thank you!!!

aright now here is a longer and angstier one. feel like i could have improved, but im honestly chill with how this turned out. i sorta allowed the definition of the prompt go lose, so i apologize if it wasnt what u were expecting lol

ao3

20: things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear

"I love you."

Three simple words, that weren't to be thrown around so carelessly.

Three simple words Komaeda wasn't meant to hear.

Especially not coming from a talentless figure of hope.

No, no. Calling Hajime Hinata a figure of hope was a term he wasn't sure if he liked.

That title was better suited for the man he had been before. An amazing man, made out of artificial hope and a lack of empathy. A man that only succeeded in going against his very purpose, and following the goal of that despairful bitch with bright red nails.

Surely though, at the very end, Kamukura could have brought hope, like he was meant to. All bad things lead to hopeful things, afterall. Or so he seemed to try to ponder.

...Hajime Hinata.

Hinata-kun.

The boy Komaeda couldn't wrap his head around at all.

Because he didn't make sense.

Hajime Hinata was supposed to be a bug Komaeda could squash under his foot. Nothing more than a measly reserve course student. Living on nothing more than a lie.

But Hinata… was more like a roach. Or a fly. No matter what seemed to happen, Komaeda couldn't squish him under his heel, and so that bug stayed, as pesky as ever.

An annoyance that lived on impossible circumstances.

Yet an annoyance that had seemed to capture the hearts of the others who lived on the island. The ultimates who had once succumbed to despair, and hardly deserved to live unpunished.

But it would be hypocritical for Komaeda to leave himself out.

And he tried to burn himself out, to put an end to the game of despair.

But his bad luck didn't seem to go away. Which was why he was here in the first place, lying in a hospital bed with a discarded hand, instead of being rightfully gone with those flames.

Still on the same island he had thought he had destroyed.

He can't understand why he was still here. Why? Why?

He had asked the same question to Hinata, he remembered, after the pest came to visit him once again in that same hospital room.

Yet Komaeda had only been met with a cocked eyebrow and a question right back at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't act dumb with me," a disgruntled sound emitted from Komaeda. "We both know I should be dead."

"But you aren't. So stop saying shit like that."

A chuckle, sounding more like a choke.

"Why are you even bothering me anymore, Hinata-kun?"

"I'm bothering you?" was a light response, before Hinata looked away from him. "Well, the answer's obvious, so I'm not sure why you're even asking, especially when it's embarrassing to say. I care about you, alright?"

I care about you.

Komaeda had found another four words he wasn't meant to hear. Because the idea of them felt far too unreal.

He can't remember when it started. A bit before the robotic replacement had been installed, perhaps.

Perhaps it was because the tension had grown too strong, or Hinata had grown too sick of his voice. But either way the two of them had ended up with their lips crashed together in Komaeda's cabin, and things had only shamelessly progressed.

A relationship that may have been better to never exist, but at the same time, probably couldn't not exist.

That was always something Komaeda couldn't understand about Hinata.

How the other could possibly bare to look at him in the eyes, at his body, at anything about him. How the other could possibly bare to wake up with him in the morning, and to check on him so often.

If Hinata was a fly, Komaeda was definitely trash. An unhealthy attraction.

He questions it. How someone as worthless as Hinata could possibly become so great. How someone like him could be aspiring, to work alongside the Ultimate Hope himself.

How someone like him could possibly spend time with someone like Komaeda, who disappointed even himself.

It's one of those nights, where he hears it for the first time.

Sitting in bed, at whatever god forsaken time, with his mind going too fast, but still with a compulsion to leave, run away. A spiral.

But in that state, he gets up way too quickly, and it's not really a surprise when he hears the mumbling beside him.

"Komaeda…?"

Hinata sounds half asleep, of course. Komaeda doesn’t turn around to look at him.

"Ah, Hinata-kun, don't worry. Go back to bed." Some half hearted reassurance, all he can muster, as he tries to get his feet off and onto the floor, but he's stopped by a forceful grab to his wrist.

Had Hinata-kun always had such a firm grip?

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Just for a walk."

"What are you talking about? It's the middle of the night, Komaeda."

This is where Komaeda finally turns his head to meet the eyes of the boy laying aside him. Hinata had prompted himself with his other arm, his eyes rather active for someone who had just been woken up, glaring.

(Perhaps he's disillusioned, but he could swear they were glowing, as well.)

"And I can make my own decisions, can I not?"

"Obviously," is Hinata's almost distrungled sounding voice, "but I'm not sure if I…"

"Trust me?" Komaeda fills in, and in the second of silence after that, he chuckles dryly, a gross sound even to his own ears.

"That's not the point." Is the only denial. Well, of course. Hinata-kun wasn't one to lie about that kind of stuff, but he wouldn't agree with Komaeda either.

"You're sweating, Komaeda. You need to relax. Lay back down."

Ah… was he sweating? Komaeda places his real hand to his face, and only then that he realises that it's shaking, as he feels what definitely is cold damp sweat running down his brow.

He hadn't even noticed. How hilarious.

He wants to laugh again, but he finds it getting stuck in his throat.

"That doesn't matter," he musters instead. "Hinata-kun, we both know it doesn't matter-"

But he's cut off by an arm around his chest, and before he can resist he's pulled onto his side, that same arm keeping him in place.

"Breathe."

A one word request, yet somehow demanding.

But Komaeda can't deny that it feels warm and firm in the half embrace, and he attempts to focus on that, shutting his eyes.

Security.

He tries to focus on the sounds of the other person beside one, Hinata's own breathing. A rhythmic sound, that pulls him to copy. His breathing slowly, evening… quieting down. He realises just then how bad it had been.

There's a moment of silence, nothing but the two's breathing, before he hears Hinata sigh and suddenly he's being pulled in closer, until he's inches away from the other's chest.

Komaeda can practically hear the other's heartbeat, if he focuses on it, and for some reason that causes his own heartbeat to go a little faster.

"You're here, Komaeda."

Words that dont really make sense, but weren't any less reassuring, said in a delicate tone.

He was here. With Hinata.

And there's some shifting, with Hinata moving his legs and tilting his head inwards in order to get comfortable, and Komaeda follows suit, with less movements.

And that's when it happens. The small three words, barely above a whisper, as though Hinata was trying to make sure Komaeda didn't catch it.

"I love you."

And Komaeda's breath hitches in his throat, and his fingers grasp to the bedsheets.

(Had Hinata-kun even realised what he said that night? Wasn't it most likely he was still half asleep, still in a disillusioned state?)

Ah. Ah.

It's strange, because logically, that sentence should be something that would bring him comfort, as out of the blue as it was.

But no, it was far too casual, and he doesn't get it, why would Hinata-kun say something like that to him-

(Half asleep. Not thinking. That had to be it.)

To throw around stuff like that so casually. It's disturbing, and truly, Hinata-kun must be cruel.

(He couldn't have meant it.)

Those words were something Komaeda had craved with his whole being. To be held like this, to be told that, to be loved.

But those thoughts had always been a fantasy, something that he knew he was never actually meant to hear. Something that he'd never get the chance to hear.

He can barely remember ever being told it. Not even when he was younger, when even his father refused to say it, and his mother only whispered it at times and places where it was certain no harm would befall them, for fear of bad luck.

(But none of those precautions had mattered in the end.)

He knew what those words meant, what they foretold. Words anyone else could listen to, but not him, because the punishment was far too harsh, too harsh-

He doesn't even realize he's grabbed onto the night shirt Hinata still had on, so hard his knuckles were turning white. Afterall, Hinata didn't make a movement. It was clear he had fallen back asleep already.

Unaware of Komaeda, who was not even able to emit a noise, even as he trembles.

Komaeda isn't sure whether to be grateful he wasn't disturbing him,

or to wish for him to wake up, as he finds he can't fall asleep for the next few hours. Pondering, pestering thoughts, but not being able to move.

Three simple words Komaeda wasn't meant to hear.

Especially not coming from Hinata-kun.

[grasslandgirl]

For the ask game F G H R T please!

tysm anna 🥺🥺💖💖

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

ahhhhhh this is SO hard, you’re getting top three sorry not sorry

in no particular order:

1) from I’ve waited and watered my heart ‘til it grew (the magnus archives, jon and martin):

“Georgie told me once- before the Unknowing, before… before we really understood the gravity of everything- that I needed people around me, to anchor me, as it were. To talk to- to all of you, but I think she also meant you, Martin, specifically. You were always there to anchor me, to listen to me, even when you were neck-deep in Lukas’s business. Even- even when I didn’t think I deserved it.”

Martin looked down at Jon, met his inscrutable and unwavering gaze. “You always deserved it, Jon,” he said, with all the conviction he had.

[i just ahhhh i think i really nailed jon’s voice through all of this fic but martin’s line here specifically. that’s it. that’s the crux of all of it i think.]

2) from my unfinished juno steel amnesia fic (the penumbra podcast, juno and rita):

“Amnesia?” Juno mumbled, looking at Rita for confirmation. “I lost… two years?”

“I mean, yeah, Mister Steel, if the last thing you remember was the Robertson case that was two years ago. And that means you don’t remember anything about Mister Ex-Mayor Takano-Flaherty or the THEIA’s or Mister Ransom or- OH!! This reminds me of that one stream we watched, Boss, with the guy who had his brain sucked out by aliens only they weren’t aliens they were actually a super secret government agency taking away people’s memories; but oh, no, I guess you can’t remember that either, because we watched that one after the case where that lady’s cat exploded after you lost your eye and you were still all sad about Mister Glass again- we should watch that stream, Boss! Especially now that you don’t remember anything either, even though-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, Rita,” Juno said, waving his hand vaguely, “what was- any of that, if I’m being honest. Ransom and the mayor? We blew up somebody’s cat?”

“I mean technically, the cat blew itself up, Boss.”

[did i mention that i LOVE rita penumbrapodcast? cause i LOVE her and i love to write her she’s so fun and her dynamic with juno is So fun to write, she just talks and i get to run away on my keyboard and let her say whatever her salmon-crunchie flavored heart desires <3]

3) from my bad kids fantasy au unposted wip (dimension twenty, fabian and adaine and gorgug):

Fabian frowned at Gorgug, considering. “Gorgug, we need to duel more often. If I’m going to be Captain, I need to know all my competition- even if they’re my best friend.”

“Aww,” Gorgug smiled down at Fabian, “I’m your best friend?”

“What?” Fabian blinked in confusion, before noticing Gorgug’s widening smile. “You dick-” he punched Gorgug in the shoulder- “you nearly got me! Of course we’re best friends, Thistlespring-”

“What about me?” Adaine asked, watching her boys’ friendly scuffle.

“You’re my best friend, too,” Gorgug said eagerly, “I can have more than one best friend.”

“Well I have dozens of best friends,” Fabian said, never one to be out done. “But, uh, I suppose you two are the- the top of the list. Of my many friends.”

[i simply think.... they!! their dynamic is SO choice if i do say so myself, i just think that old childhood best friends is one of the Best dynamics out there and is sorely underutilized and i am taking it upon myself to solve that problem. you’re welcome, world]

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

i HAVE to write my fics in chronological order, from start to finish bc there are always scenes that i really Want to write and if i write those first then i have No drive or focus to write the Rest of the fic or the context that goes with it, so i make myself write chronologically and use the scenes that im really excited to write as a goal and a driving force to get myself through the other, equally important scenes, that i’m less excited about, otherwise the fic sits half-finished and abandoned in my wip folder, never to see the light of day......

H: How would you describe your style?

truly i Could Not Tell You. ive been told i write how i talk which. yeah. but idk how true that is for my fic/fiction writing? i truly don’t know tell me about my writing style im begging you i don’t know what my style is i just write its just there

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

there aren’t any specific writers that i draw regular, constant inspo from, really? i’m lucky to know and be friends with multiple incredibly talented authors (you, anna grace, chief among them of course) and sometimes when i read a really good fic or story ill get inspired by the author’s style or tone and work off of that; but those beats of inspiration aren’t super common and tend to just lead to short little spurts of writing, most of my longer ideas and wips are products of plot and character inspiration, drawing from my life or the original media itself and less from fic or other writing (shoutout to @nojoyinmudville and @cauldronoflove both for writing SO good that it made me write fanfiction for THEIR fanfiction sfjvnksjfbd)

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

uhhhhhh not off the top of my head? im a sucker for coffeeshop and bakery aus but they always sort of infuriate me bc you can always tell when theyre written by people who have Never Worked In Food Service nor have they KNOWN anyone who’s worked in food service bc they’re always “im the owner of a very popular, well-trafficked bakery and i’m the owner and also the ONLY EMPLOYEE. I BAKE ALL THE BREAD AND PASTRY MYSELF. AND I RUN THE REGISTER AND THE COUNTER. AND I CLEAN THE WHOLE KITCHEN. AND I DO ALL THE FINANCES AND ORDER FORMS AND LEGAL TAPE. I ALSO HAVE TIME FOR A FUFILLING SOCIAL AND ROMANTIC LIFE. SOMEHOW, I SLEEP SOMETIMES.” plese. im begging u people. use your critical thinking skills. or, if all else fails. GOOGLE HOW WORKING IN A COFFEESHOP WORKS. YOU DON’T WORK 6AM- 8PM SHIFTS SIX DAYS A WEEK WITH ONE COWORKER. YOU HAVE SHIFTS. MORE PEOPLE IN THE RUSH HOURS. YOU HAVE DAYS OFF. ahem. anyway. yeah.

this got. so long sorryyyyyy ksjbskjf but thank you a million anna grace ilyyy 💖💖🤧🤧

send me a fanfic ask!! (my ao3 acc is @/grasslandgirl and is linked in my bio!)

[ouranosauraus]

i was tagged by @timothydraike thank you bro ! this was cool !

your stereotypical “masculine” side

you love hoodies. you love shorts. dogs are better than cats. it’s hilarious when people get hurt. shopping is torture. sad movies suck. you own a car racing game. you played with hot wheels cars as a kid. at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. you owned a ds, ps2, n64, or sega. you used to be obsessed with power rangers. you have watched sports on tv. gory movies are cool fun. you go to your dad(s) for advice. you own like a trillion baseball caps. you used to collect hockey or baseball cards. baggy sweats are cool to wear. it’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colours. you love to go crazy and not care what people think. sports are fun. you talk with food in your mouth. you sleep with your socks on at night. you have fished at least once.  

your stereotypical “feminine” side

you love to shop. you wear eyeliner. you wear the colour pink. you go to your mom to talk. you consider cheer-leading a sport. you hate wearing the colour black. you like going to the mall. you like getting manicures and/or pedicures. you like wearing jewelry. you cried watching the notebook. dresses are a big part of your wardrobe. shopping is one of your favourite hobbies. you don’t like the movie star wars. you are/were in gymnastics. it takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and apply make up. you smile a lot more than you should. you have more than ten pairs of shoes. you care about what you look like. you like wearing dresses when you can. you like wearing high heel shoes. you used to play with dolls as a little kid. you like putting make up on others. you like being the star of everything.

appearances

i am shorter than 5’5”. i have scar(s). i tan easily. i wish my hair was a different colour. i have friends who have never seen my natural hair colour. i have a tattoo. i am self-conscious about my appearance. i’ve had/have braces. i’ve been told i’m attractive by a complete stranger. i have more than two piercings. i have/had piercings in places besides my ears. i have freckles. i have freckles that aren’t on my face. usually bruised. i paint my nails. i don’t leave my hair natural. i have a tooth gap. i have facial hair. i have burn marks. my birthmark is usually visible. i smile with my teeth. i have longer legs. i have a longer torso. i have broad shoulders. i am more muscular for my size.

experiences

i’ve gotten lost in my city. i’ve seen a shooting star. i’ve wished on a shooting star. i’ve seen a meteor shower. i’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. i’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator. i’ve kicked a guy where it hurts. i’ve been to a casino. i’ve been skydiving. i’ve gone skinny-dipping. i’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. i’ve crashed a car. i’ve been skiing. i’ve been in a musical. i’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue. i’ve seen the northern lights. i’ve sat on a rooftop at night. i’ve played a prank on someone. i’ve ridden in a taxi. i’ve seen the rocky horror picture show. i’ve eaten sushi. i’ve been snowboarding.

honesty/crime

i’ve done something i promised someone else i wouldn’t. i’ve done something i promised myself i wouldn’t. i’ve snuck out. i’ve lied to my parents about where i am. i’ve cheated while playing a game. i’ve ran a red light. i’ve witnessed a crime. i’ve been in a fist fight. i’ve been arrested

death

i’m afraid of dying. i hate funerals.  i’ve seen someone/something dying. someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide. i’ve written a eulogy for myself. i think about death a lot. i’m afraid of someone close to me dying. i’ve had pets die. i’ve had suicidal thoughts. death doesn’t bother me.

random

i can sing well. i’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. i open up to others easily. i watch the news. i don’t kill bugs. i sing in the shower. i am a morning person. i paid for a cell phone ring tone. i am a sports fanatic. i twirl my hair. i care about grammar. i have “?”’s in my screen name. i’ve copied more than 30 cds in a day. i bake well. my favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange. i would wear pajamas to school. i like martha stewart. i know how to shoot a gun. i laugh at my own jokes. i eat fast food weekly. i’ve not turned anything in and still got an a in a certain class. i can’t sleep if there is a spider/cockroach in the room. i am ticklish. i love white chocolate. i bite my nails. i’m good at remembering faces. i’m good at remembering names. i’m good at remembering dates. i honestly have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life

im not tagging anyone specific, if u see this and wanna do it pls do !

[spellcastersjudgement]

please could you do fusionshipping and number 7?

*takes drag of cigarette* fusionshipping, you say? that was baby froots oh tee pee growing up…this one is gonna bring back a lot of super gay sixth grade headcanons and feelings and u know what?? im glad  

#7: a kiss to shut them up 

Jaden Yuki was like the sun. Warm, bright, a symbol of happiness and growth. Zane wasn’t cliche enough to state that he was the moon or something, but Atticus supplied that for him. His best friend had a goldmine of of gross poetic things to say about the differences between himself and Jaden, and if Zane wasn’t a closet romantic and desperately pining for the other duelist, he would’ve backhanded Atticus with enough force to give him whiplash. 

That wouldn’t be the only reason Atticus Rhodes needed to be backhanded. He’d been earning his comeuppance for several years now. 

“Hey, look over there,” 

Zane heard Atticus’s voice at his shoulder and smelled a scheme, but humored his best friend and looked over to where Atticus had jerked his head. 

Jaden Yuki had just walked into the convention center, duel disk on his arm, other arm linked through Jesse Anderson’s. Jim and Hassleberry were a few steps behind them, also with duel disks–that was a bit surprising, as Zane hadn’t seen either of their names on the registration for the tournament. They wouldn’t be competing in the same bracket, so Zane didn’t think too much of it. They wouldn’t have been good competition anyway. There was another issue though. If Jaden had all of them here, plus Syrus as his manager, it would– 

“Damn, we’re not gonna get any alone time with him,” Atticus grumbled. They were at the bar, day drinking to survive the opening ceremonies for the tournament, which was too much talking and not enough card games for Zane. 

Though he was loathe to agree with Atticus, Zane could privately admit that Jaden showing up with his entourage would mean that he would have less time with the brunette. “We?” 

“Yeah, we, Zaney. You and Jaden see each other all the time at the super high-level tournaments, but you never make any moves without me bugging you,” Atticus downed his drink and signaled the bartender for another. “Now I have to work on separating Jaden from the pack and then I have to make sure you do your job of actually flirting with him instead of just staring at him and hoping he gets the message,” 

“Stop strategizing.” Zane ordered. 

“Zane, if you would get off your ass and actually–” 

“I’ll see Jaden at the next tournament, this one doesn’t matter.” Zane grumbled, knowing that Atticus wouldn’t take him seriously but saying it out of principle. 

“This one does matter–come on, I need you two together while I’m still young!” Atticus said, throwing up his hands, exasperated. 

“He doesn’t like me, Rhodes,” 

“You don’t know that!” Atticus started on his typical spiel of how Zane wasn’t a mind reader, how he’d never know the joys of love if he didn’t risk experiencing pain, that Jaden was single and put up with Zane’s shit, which was more than Zane should expect from anyone. 

“Come on, you two are perfect–sun and moon remember? Yin and yang? Do I have to read my poems to you again?” Atticus threatened. 

“Read me a poem and I’m cutting off your hair,” 

“You say that all the time, Zaney–my hair is still as long and beautiful as ever.” Atticus’s took a sip from his fourth drink of the afternoon. “Look, you get blasted, you flirt with him, tell him how you feel–a year from now you’ll be Mr. and Mr. Yuki-Truesdale and I get to officiate the wedding,” 

Jaden Yuki-Truesdale did have a nice ring to it. 

“I’m not doing that,” Zane said, mostly because even in his most private fantasies of Jaden and him being together Atticus Rhodes was not the one marrying them. He’d already slated Alexis for that position. 

Atticus wasn’t paying attention anymore, he was laying a hand over his heart, smiling, a faraway, dreamy look in his eyes.  “Come on, come on–opening ceremonies tonight. Picture this: sit next to him, take his hand, look down into those big, beautiful eyes, stroke his cheek, tower over him on your spider legs and whisper: Jaden Yuki, will you do me the honor of being my Eternal Sunshine?” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Zane snapped, feeling a blush coming on. Eternal Sunshine. What a name. What a fitting name.

“You two would be adorable–you with your goth aesthetic,’ Atticus motioned to  Zane’s all-black ensemble, the makeup, the nails, the choker. “And him, with his boy-next-door aesthetic–adorable! It’s the season for love!” 

“It’s midwinter,” 

“All seasons are seasons for love, you frigid bitch,” Atticus huffed, shoving Zane’s shoulder. “Look, I’m going to go distract everyone and–” 

“Atticus if you set me up with Jaden I’m going to smother you with a pillow,” 

“Now that’s a threat I believe,” Atticus said. “That’s why I made sure your manager booked us separate hotel rooms this time,” 

Atticus dropped the subject–sort of. He was now alternating between drinking and swiping through pictures of Chazz, and Zane would be lying if it didn’t make him jealous to hear his best friend gushing over his boyfriend. They were nearly impossible to stomach when they were together, what with Atticus coming up with nicknames and breaking out into song at every available opportunity. Zane had known Chazz for a long time, and when they’d gotten together he’d hoped the black-haired boy, who was always ragging on Jaden for being over-the-top, would bring Atticus’s antics to a grinding halt. He felt betrayed when Chazz started blushing and thanking Atticus for all of his romanticism instead of chastising him. 

In a moment of weakness, probably brought on by the alcohol, Zane reflected upon how maybe he should let Atticus help him out with Jaden.

The moment was gone in an instant. That would be a horrible idea. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Atticus whispered excitedly. “Eternal Sunshine at 6 o’clock,” 

“Don’t you–” 

It was too late. Atticus was already slapping down cash on the bar and standing up. “Hey there, Jaden! You know where the bathroom is?” 

“Hey Atticus!” Jaden’s voice sent a jolt of happiness through Zane, and he took another drink to calm the frantic beating of his heart. “Jesse’s heading to the bathroom now, just follow the blue hair,” 

Zane saw Jaden sink down into Atticus’s empty chair. “Hey Zane,” 

He swallowed another mouthful of gin and tonic before responding. “Nice to see you,” 

“What’s it been, a week?” Jaden laughed, leaning his elbow against the bar. “Didn’t expect you to be competing in an open-entry tournament,” 

“Atticus wanted to enter,” Zane tried not to think of sunshine and seasons of love as Jaden laughed again. 

“He bring Chazz with him?” 

“Chazz is halfway around the world with Alexis and Bastion,” 

“Oh yeah, Prague. Bastion told me about it, I didn’t think Chazzeroo was going with them,” Jaden picked up the drink menu, no doubt looking for something fruity and sweet, something Zane would never touch with a ten foot pole. Another thing Atticus liked to wax poetic about–only he could make something corny and romantic out of drink orders. 

“We should go to Prague,” 

Zane nearly choked on his drink as his mind rared into overdrive. His mind knew that logically the second half of that sentence was “for a tournament,” but his heart desperately wanted it to be for more personal reasons. Mr. and Mr. Yuki-Truesdale–damn Atticus for bringing the thought to the forefront of his mind (he’d thought of it before, certainly, but only late at night when he was feeling especially lonely, not in broad daylight with Jaden sitting right next to him)–on honeymoon in Prague. Not his first choice, he’d always imagined it on a beach somewhere, but if that’s what Jaden wanted–

This train of thought was strangely reminiscent of Atticus. They weren’t–god they weren’t even together, let alone married. One step at a time. 

Or zero steps at a time because you won’t do anything, Atticus’s voice–when had he gotten in here?–echoed in Zane’s head. 

“You alright, Zane?” Jaden asked, leaning forward, concern in his eyes–here he remembered Atticus comparing the color to some chocolate he’d bought for Chazz–and Zane was ready to swear off alcohol for the rest of his life if it was going to cause him to think of Atticus Rhodes. 

“Um, yeah, I’m good,” Zane said. “So you were saying we–that, uh, we should go to Prague,” 

“Oh yeah, I bet it’d be awesome!” Jaden thanked the bartender for the fluorescent pink daiquiri, picking up the cherry and popping it into his mouth. Zane nearly passed out at the images in his head. “I don’t know anything about it, but it’d be an adventure–think about it, two Americans lost in the Czech Republic, can’t read anything, only armed with our duel disks and wits–sounds like a movie,” 

“The only movies I’ve seen that take place in the Czech Republic are horror movies,” Zane said. That’s not the kind of movie he wanted to make with Jaden. 

God, bad choice of words. 

“You’d keep me safe–no one messes with Zane Truesdale,” Jaden smiled, and Zane–well he would have to agree with him. If anyone laid a hand on Jaden Yuki in his presence it would be the last thing they ever did.  

“Tell Syrus to register you in a tournament and I’ll tell my manager to resister me,” Zane said. 

“Tournament?” 

He looked up from his drink at Jaden’s surprised tone. He felt a glimmer of hope, praying that he wasn’t about to get it dashed. He had to play this cool, no matter what he was feeling. “I thought we were talking about competing together,” 

“What? Oh, no, um,” Jaden’s face, the pretty face that had both haunted and blessed Zane’s dreams, was bright red, his lush, coral pink bottom lip–god, he was starting to sound like Atticus again–between his teeth, his eyes to the floor, lush eyelashes brushing against his cheekbones. “That’s not–not what I meant,” 

Oh god. 

Zane let himself feel a bit more hopeful, sit up a little straighter, lean in toward the brunette. 

He was speechless, but Jaden couldn’t seem to stop the words from stumbling out of his mouth. “I’m so–oh god, um–I meant like, together, but not–I was talking with Jesse last night and then Alexis called me and Bastion–they all said that–that I should–even Syrus said that–I’m sorry Zane I thought that you–I thought that you liked me–I’m so–” 

For Zane, it felt as if time had stopped. Jaden–his Eternal Sunshine–returned his feelings. 

Jaden was still talking, wildly gesticulating, his drink sloshing out of the glass and staining his sleeve. Zane–Zane could listen to Jaden talk all night, had done so many times while they were together at tournaments, but right now he wanted Jaden to stop talking, but–but Zane couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell Jaden how much–

Well there was something else. 

“I just–I don’t want this to change our friendship and–” 

Jaden was still going. Zane stood up–spider legs, like Atticus said–put his hand, which he saw rather than felt, on Jaden’s chin, feeling the softness of his skin, brown eyes wide and surprised as Zane leaned down–

In all of his musings about what it would be like to kiss Jaden, Zane never expected a spontaneous kiss to surpass his perfectly constructed fantasies. 

The brunette’s lips weren’t soft like he expected–they were chapped, rough, the texture a delicious contrast to Zane’s silky lipstick. The fruity flavor of the drink lingered on his lips, and Zane could learn to love the taste if it was being served to him from Jaden’s mouth. 

Enthusiastic by nature, Jaden quickly recovered from the surprise to throw his arms around Zane’s neck, bringing them closer together–there was the sound of glass breaking and Zane could hear the remnants of Jaden’s drink dripping on to the floor. A tongue forced its way into Zane’s mouth, a hand buried into Zane’s hair, teeth clacked together–Zane was dizzy with alcohol and the sensation of having Jaden Yuki in his arms, kissing him with wild abandon, and wouldn’t be surprised if he’d keeled over and woken up to find this was all a dream. 

When Jaden pulled away, blue lipstick smeared on his chin, he knew it wasn’t. 

“So, uh–wanna make Prague our first vacation as a couple?” Jaden laughed, smiling. 

“Yes,” Zane choked out, stroking the side of Jaden’s face. “Yes, my Eternal Sunshine,” 

He realized what he’d said a moment later when Atticus’s laughed interrupted the moment. 

“Another plan well-executed!” Atticus praised himself. “I’ll go search for plane tickets to Prague,” 

“Hey, hey Addy,” Jaden called. “Be sure to book mine under Eternal Sunshine!” 

Zane was going to kill Atticus–he wanted to smack that self-satisfied grin off his face. 

After he got back from Prague, of course. 

[murphysannie]

annual writing self evaluation

*All answers should be about works published in 2017.

thank u jess @wonderdaysoflunacy for tagging me!!

1. List of works published this year: 

a shoebox of photographs with sepia tone loving

the winter winds litter london with lonely hearts

your wild heart will live for younger days

will you be my best friend? will you be my last?

my fingers tap into what you were once

give me something fun to do (like a life of loving you)

all my scars are open

flowers and pearls and pretty girls

i just want your kiss, boy

honey, i’ll be seeing you wherever i go

i’m not in love (but i’m open to persuasion)

and my heart is set on you

the heart is hard to translate

the furthest constellations of our souls

days of dark (co written w magnusragnor)

home is just a room full of my safest sounds

let the clocks be reset and the pendulums held

tripping on skies, sipping waterfalls

your heart is the only place that i call home

never knew loving could hurt this good

my 500 follower fics (which i will finish at some point)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

i think it’s a tie between give me something fun to do (like a life of loving you) and let the clocks be reset and the pendulums held. give me something was written when i was in the middle of the most stressful time in my life and my mental health was really bad, so to be able to string words together in any semblance of order was a minor miracle (and to actually like it on reading it back months later is even more incredible). let the clocks is a fic i was meant to write a long time before i did; the prompt was sitting in my inbox for literally months and i kept delaying, but the end result is, i think, one of my favourite fics i’ve ever written. 

im also v v proud of days of dark bc i’ve never co written a fic before and it’s honestly the most fun writing thing i’ve ever done i love elle @magnusragnor to pieces and working on this fic with her makes the pain of writing worth it.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

honestly? probably the furthest constellations of our souls, but only bc it’s so short. it was a birthday gift, so i wish it could have been much longer, but life got in the way, unfortunately.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

possibly this from let the clocks be reset and the pendulums held:

Alec is still hovering over him, his gaze curious. “Yesterday,” he starts, a little hesitantly, “that spell, you…”

Magnus swallows and fights the urge to force a laugh, smile and quip his way out of the situation. His every instinct is screaming for him to play it off, but this is Alec.

There’s nothing ugly about you.

“It was incredible,” Alec says finally. “I know I’ve seen you in action before, but —” he breaks off, finding Magnus’ hand and placing their palms together. “Your hands are always so gentle when you touch me,” he adds, blinking at Magnus’ nail polish.

“You should always handle precious things with care,” Magnus says, and it’s half a joke, half the naked truth. Alec’s breath hitches and his eyes dart to meet Magnus’, a beautiful rosy blush settling on the apples of his cheeks. Magnus cradles Alec’s cheek with one hand. “You are very precious to me,” he whispers.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

so im kinda jokin but kinda not when i say my favourite comment is the first comment on days of dark, which is ceci @daddariossmile saying “i want this to be the first comment” - it honestly makes me laugh so much every time i think about it

but in all srsness ceci’s comments on and my heart is set on you make me smile everytime i read them and also any comment ever by @redappleblossom always warms my heart :’))

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

february - april was the worst, but mainly because of outside factors rather than anything inherent to writing. the end of november was pretty tricky for actually writing because i was so tired of nanowrimo by that point and just wanted it to be over!

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

finishing off like the stars chase the sun was a wild ride - my plan for the final chapters is over a year and a half old now and was not fleshed out at all, so writing it for nano was like an adventure in surprise.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i think i grew by gaining a new appreciation of introspection and how it helps the reader make sense of a character’s re/actions. before elle came into my life i basically never wrote any introspect and now i find myself adding it bc she made me see the value of it and i think/hope my stories are richer for the detail it adds.

oH i also learnt the value of planning (again thanks 2 elle she’s the bomb)

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i want to become more confident writing action scenes next year - right now i just shy away from them. i also want to get back into writing original stuff, but we’ll see how that goes.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i would not have survived this year without elle (and my heart is set on you would literally not have been written without her). she’s made me think so much more about my writing and having someone to develop and bounce ideas off is the best. honestly i’m so thankful!!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

nothing i can think of, apart from my dislike of never have i ever and game of thrones

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

plan your fics!! even if it’s just an outline or a series of plot points and you’re not sure how you’re going to get between them, writing with a vague idea of direction is so much easier than writing with no end goal in mind at all (at least, imo)

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

like the stars chase the sun!! it’s mostly written, but i will be finishing it off and posting it (hopefully) in the new year. days of dark is also nearly finished so that’s gonna be fun 😎 and i have my big bang fic to work on!! 

14. Tag five writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read.

@isabellebiwoods, @satonawall, @daddariossmile, @gayndsoft, @maghnvsbane (sorry if any of u have already been tagged i am unoriginal)

[ofdesperationis]

(YOUR STEREOTYPICAL MASCULINE SIDE) 

you love hoodies.  you love shorts. dogs are better than cats. it’s hilarious when people get hurt. shopping is torture. sad movies suck. you own a car racing game. you played with hot wheels cars as a kid. at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. you owned a ds, ps2, n64, or sega. you used to be obsessed with power rangers. you have watched sports on tv. gory movies are cool. you go to your dad for advice. you own like a trillion baseball caps. you used to collect hockey or baseball cards. baggy sweats are cool to wear. it’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. you love to go crazy and not care what people think. sports are fun. you talk with food in your mouth. you sleep with your socks on at night.you have fished at least once.

(YOUR STEREOTYPICAL FEMININE SIDE)

you love to shop. you wear eyeliner. you wear the color pink. you go to your mom to talk.you consider cheerleading a sport. you hate wearing the color black. you like going to the mall. you like getting manicures and/or pedicures. you like wearing jewelry. you cried watching the notebook. dresses are a big part of your wardrobe. shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. you don’t like the movie star wars. you are/were in gymnastics. it takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. you smile a lot more than you should. you have more than 10 pairs of shoes. you care about what you look like. you like wearing dresses when you can. you like wearing high heel shoes. you used to play with dolls as little kid. you like putting make-up on others. you like being the star of everything.

(APPEARANCE)

i am shorter than 5’5”. i have scars. i tan easily. i wish my hair was a different color. i have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. i have a tattoo. i am self-conscious about my appearance. i’ve had/have braces. i’ve been told i’m attractive by a complete stranger.i have more than two piercings. i have/had piercings in places besides my ears.

(EXPERIENCES)

i’ve gotten lost in my city. i’ve seen a shooting star. i’ve wished on a shooting star. i’ve seen a meteor shower. i’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. i’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator. i’ve kicked a guy where it hurts. i’ve been to a casino. i’ve been skydiving. i’ve gone skinny-dipping. i’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. i’ve crashed a car (indirectly.). i’ve been skiing. i’ve been in a musical. i’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue. i’ve seen the northern lights. i’ve sat on a rooftop at night. i’ve played a prank on someone. i’ve ridden in a taxi. i’ve seen the rocky horror picture show. i’ve eaten sushi. i’ve been snowboarding.

(HONESTY/CRIME)

i’ve done something i promised someone else i wouldn’t. i’ve done something i promised myself i wouldn’t. i’ve snuck out. i’ve lied to my parents about where i am. i’ve cheated while playing a game. i’ve ran a red light. i’ve witnessed a crime. i’ve been in a fist fight. i’ve been arrested.

(DEATH AND SUICIDE)

i’m afraid of dying. i hate funerals. i’ve seen someone/something dying. someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide. i’ve written a eulogy for myself.

(RANDOM)

i can sing well. i’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. i open up to others easily. i watch the news. i don’t kill bugs. i sing in the shower. i am a morning person. i paid for a cell phone ring tone. i am a sports fanatic. i twirl my hair. i care about grammar. i have “?”’s in my screen name. i’ve copied more than 30 cds in a day. i bake well. my favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange. i would wear pajamas to school. i like martha stewart. i know how to shoot a gun. i laugh at my own jokes. i eat fast food weekly. i’ve not turned anything in and still got an a in a certain class. i can’t sleep if there is a spider/cockroach in the room. i am ticklish. i love white chocolate. i bite my nails. i’m good at remembering faces. i’m good at remembering names. i’m good at remembering dates. i honestly have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.

tagged  by: @locksfate   thank u !! even though im so late ;; tagging: im p sure I'm super late.

[4jimin]

DAMN IT u cant just tag and say ull reblob if no one gives u attention............. u da 1 (bc shoving someone against the wall sounds amazing)

…….i can be very persuasive asjdkdj thank you for sending jo, i love youuu !!  (i hope this is okay bc like…..i may or may not have gotten too deep into this so it turned out to be 5 pages long akshdk)

“right to the good parts” prompt list: jikook, “i have you shoved against a wall, but now I can’t stop looking at your mouth." 

canon compliant | gay chicken l well :)“I’m not a coward!” Jimin shouts from his corner of the room.It’s late already and the practice room is mostly covered by shadows, only the lights above the mirror wall being responsible for illuminating the place. “Yes, you are.” Jungkook tilts his head to the side with a smug smirk adorning his lips. Ah, if teasing Park Jimin wasn’t fuel to his veins. He spent the whole day working out and dancing – he was exhausted to the bones –, but just hearing the flustered tone of Jimin’s voice was almost equivalent to a 4 hour nap. Five, if the room was clear enough for Jungkook to see the cute blush creeping the older’s cheeks – like he knew it would – and his lips pursed the way it did everytime he was trying to prove a point. “You know, there is a thin line between being brave and being stupid.” “Exactly.”“Exactly. Me agreeing to go on a rollercoaster that you are in charge of commanding, considering you have no idea how to control a rollercoaster, is just being stupid!”Jungkook snorts, rolling his eyes. “Fine. Okay. What about bungee jumping, but not with the proper rope?” “No! What the fuck is wrong with you? I care about my life!”Jimin is seating in the darker corner of the room and Jungkook is all the way across from him – back leaning against the cold glass of the mirror. He can’t make out Jimin’s expressions well from so far away in the poorly lit room – but yet, just the tone of Jimin’s voice is enough for Jungkook to be one hundred percent sure about each face he is pulling out along wlth the sentences falling out of his mouth. “That’s what cowards say.” “That’s what logical people say!” “Hyung, just admit it already. I won’t judge you.” Jungkook chuckles at Jimin’s snort. “You fucking brat. You call me coward one more time, and I swear to–”“Okay, okay.” Jungkook tilts his head to the other side, an idea taking shape in his mind, making his lips twitch upwards. “You’ll get the respect I have for you back if–““I don’t need to get any respect back.”“You prove to me you’re not a coward.” They speak at the same time, overlapping each other’s voice. Jimin frowns.“What?” “You heard me. You need to prove.”“I don’t need to do anything.” Jimin crosses his arms, and Jungkook knows he has an stubborn pout on his lips. “But… how do I do that?” The maknae smirks. “Let’s play chicken.”“Let’s play what?” he uncrosses his arms, brows furrowed in confusion.“Chicken.” “What the fuck is that?” Jungkook chuckles, using his hand as an support to get on his feet. “It’s a game.” He starts explaining while walking till where Jimin is seating. “Basically, we need to put one another into nerve-wracking situations. The one to pulls away first lose. Easy.” By the time Jungkook ends talking he is standing before Jimin, an extended hand offered towards him to pull him up. Jimin takes it after a second of hesitation.“Well, the game usually tends to be more dangerous,” Jungkook reiterates, voice significantly lower since Jimin is closer to him now. “But we can make it worth.” He smiles. “You in?”Jimin narrows his eyes. “What kind of shit are you planning to come with?” Jungkook puts his arms behind his back and starts walking away, a playful smile on his voice as he singsongs “Guess you’ll have to pay to see…” he suddenly turns his body back to face Jimin “Or are you going to run away with your tail between your legs?” “I’mma punch you.”“Is that a yes?” he quirks his eyebrows up.“Whatever.” Jimin walks in his direction, stopping some meters away from him. “Go for it.”The game starts rather lamely, Jimin would say. The most Jungkook had done in three rounds was putting his sweaty armpit dangerously close to Jimin’s face – to which Jimin didn’t even flinch, for sake of information, just grimaced and called him a ‘gross pig’ under his breath (that was happily caged inside his lungs, because he was most definitely not smelling the stink under Jungkook’s arms, thank you very much). “Is that all you got?” Jimin teases, getting closer, holding back his laugh at Jungkook’s wide eyes. He keeps the straight face, taking small steps forward and pushing Jungkook backwards with him until his back hits the wall. He lowers down his gaze to Jungkook’s throat just in time to catch him gulping and smiles in victory. Jungkook is about to overcome his thundering heart and form a sentence, when Jimin kneels down before him and Jungkook’s eyes go wide. “H-hyung?” Jimin smirks, not breaking eye contact for a second, and slowly extends his left arm to the side, grabbing Jungkook’s phone on the floor. He gets up on his feet to face a very confused – and mildly breathless, Jimin proudly realizes – maknae. “Here. Text Namjoon-hyung and say: hyung, I think I’m im love with you.” “What?!” Jungkook almost chokes.Jimin shrugs, a nonchalantly smirk dwelling in the corner of his lips. “That’s me teaching you how the real game is meant to be played. Go for it, my brave boy.” He whispers, bitting down his bottom lip to contain a victory smile.But against all expectations, Jungkook does send the message, rendering Jimin speechless for a second or two. “Surprised?” he asks, voice lower than Jimin is used to listening. Jungkook is tall. Very tall, Jimin remembers, as he has to slightly tilt his head back to properly look at his face. Also, Jungkook’s eyes are shining. Despite from all the shadows trying to cover his features, his eyes are shining with a glow Jimin doesn’t quite recognize. It settles an unfamiliar restlessness on his muscles. “Good to know we’re now playing dirty.” Jungkook hums and Jimin feels his hot breath hitting his lips. His heart pace increases for no apparent – or logical – reason, and his fingertips tingle with unknown anticipation. “It’s my turn.” Jimin barely has time to utter a word before his shoulders are being grabbed and his back is being roughly slammed against the wall, all oxygen violently punched out of his lungs. He looks up, confusion molding his features, but he doesn’t find the usual innocence he so much adores in Jungkook’s eyes. He finds a pair of dark irises and dilated pupils staring back at him, the hint of an eerie lust hidden in the way he licks his lips and lowers his eyes to Jimin’s mouth. Jimin fists the front of his tshirt to draw his attention back.“W-what–“However, all his senses shut down when Jungkook’s cold fingers surges on the sharp bulge of his hipbone, thumbs caressing the skin ever so slowly. Jimin’s eyes fall closed and his breath hitches, every allusion of sentence menacing to be said, dying on his throat. He can feel his chest constricting in an oddly pleasurable arousal when Jungkook drags his hands up, delineating the curve of his waist with his palms, and then feeling the ledge of his abs with his fingertips, the touch leaving heat traces all over his skin. Jungkook’s hot air enters his mouth and that’s when Jimin realizes he’s been holding his own back.“That’s me teaching you how the real game is meant to be played.” The younger’s reuse of his words reaches his ears at the same time he opens his eyes, just to be welcomed with the most annoyingly attractive smirk he has ever faced. Jimin wants to punch it away. He raises his chin just the slightest bit up, a sudden desire to win washing all over him and pooling on his stomach with a restlessness that burns and sends heat shooting up his spine – swallowing all the nervousness to the tip, and replacing it with some thing Jimin is not so sure about wanting to figure out. Jungkook can’t seem to stop staring at his lips. Jimin watches his face with half lided eyes and a heart beating on his throat. “Then I guess you should try harder.” His words resound through a soft murmur lost in the silence of the room, when he takes Jungkook’s neck on his hands and pulls it down to be met with his lips halfway. The younger’s skin is cold, but Jimin warms it with his tongue and lips, sucking muscle and flesh hard enough to hear Jungkook deeply inhaling a sharp breath. His fingers are digging into Jimin’s hips, and Jimin feels nails when he drags his lips up, hot breath hitting the wet mark of saliva he has left behind, making Jungkook shiver. He noses his way up the younger’s neck, tangling his fingers on his hair and softly kissing every inch of exposed skin he’s met until he reaches Jungkook’s ear. He uses his teeth to scratch the lobe with the most of delicacy he possesses, so he can whisper.“Your turn.” Jungkook is heavily breathing with closed eyes, Jimin realizes when he pulls back to face the boy. He bites back a proud smile.The younger boy doesn’t flinch or move for the next ten seconds, which gets Jimin tiptoeing his way up to face him on the same height level. He is about to pull his best smug of victory along with a cheesy made up phrase to annoy the shit out of Jeon Jungkook, when Jungkook suddenly presses his body harder against Jimin’s, supporting his weight with an elbow resting by the side of the older’s head. Jungkook sees the sea of different brown hues staring back at him through wide eyes, closer than ever – and to be honest, he wants nothing more than to dive into them, to drown in its depth and be overwhelmed by its intensity. He wants so much it’s starting to hurt.“Hyung.” He warns, voice rough. “I’m not gonna lose.” Jimin blinks, eyelashes heavy with expectation, hands tightening around the fabric of Jungkook’s tshirt.“Me neither.” Jungkook leans closer slowly, Jimin almost feels teased – on the verge of having a cardiac arrest from how fast his heart has been beating for the past minutes. His eyes flutter closed when he feels the tip of Jungkook’s nose touching his. His lips are burning somehow, yelling to be kissed – the smell of the younger’s skin useful as no help to calm down his stomach. How can he smell good after hours of practice? Or maybe he doesn’t and Jimin is just crazy. Yes. He probably is. Completely insane. And why isn’t Jungkook’s lips glued to his already?He is about to open his eyes to understand what the hell is going on when ge feels the wetness of Jungkook’s mouth on his jawline. It’s soft and tender, and it makes him dizzy to the fingertips, because– isn’t that game supposed to be nerve-wracking and rough? Why is he feeling loved?Jimin turns his head to the other side unconsciously, so Jungkook trails the line of his sharp jawline with his lips, holding harder on his bare waist beneath the tshirt and pulling his body closer to his, craving the warmth that his skin exhales. Jimin’s chest is rosing up and down repeatedly, but it’s when Jungkook lighly suck at the skin right below his ear that Jimin moans. And something twitches inside Jungkook’s chest. He nips at the flesh by the side of his neck as a test, just to hear the same sound crawling out of Jimin’s throat again – low and needy. So he opens his mouth and sucks for real this time, rough, scratching his teeth softly on the skin when he lets go, Jimin’s breath hitching inciting him to go further.Jungkook hears his own heart beating on his ears, and feels both his and Jimin’s beating on his chest – but he is sure his nearly stops when Jimin whines and presses his crotch against his thigh, the stimulus shooting white pleasure to the tip of his stomach and blankness to the back of his eyes.Fuck.Jungkook takes a hand off Jimin’s waist and grabs his hair, pulling it back to have full acess to his neck. He doesn’t lose a second, a burning desire running through his veins and making him want to taste every single inch of Park Jimin’s body, every single inch of skin. He bites down and sucks roughly, Jimin groaning breathlessly with firm hands clutching his shoulders. He feels driven to the edge, none of that being enough and still being too fucking much. Jimin’s lightheaded already, lips falling open within every moan his body forces out of him, the sensation overwhelming his senses. Jungkook keeps on sucking his neck and it feels so good it’s excruciating, how he doesn’t want it to end, but how at the same time he needs more. His hands are on Jungkook’s neck, and he doesn’t know when they went to stop there, but now his nails are scratching Jungkook’s nape and before Jimin can help he is moaning Jungkook’s name.Jungkook moans back, and almost feels like being punched on the stomach with a fist of flowers. Jimin can’t take it anymore. He pulls Jungkook’s head back and turns to face him, catching his swollen lips on his mouth with a fervor he has no idea inhabited in him. Jungkook is fast to comply, lips falling open and licking into Jimin’s mouth just as desperately. Their tongues meet in a clash of heat and mutual desire, and it’s fucking addicting, how their lips fit so perfectly together, how their pace is exactly the same, as if they were familiar to each other’s lips for their entire lives. “H…hyung.” Jungkook pulls back for air, but Jimin is unable to think straight. He chases Jungkook’s mouth like a predator, thirsty for the taste lingering on his lips, sucking and bitting his bottom lip, until Jungkook is groaning, grabbing his thighs and pulling him up. God. Jimin is losing his mind.He straddles Jungkook’s hips with his thighs, locking his ankles on the end of his back, and Jungkook takes the chance of the height difference to get back on Jimin’s neck. He is addicted, he knows, but the sound Jimin makes when he sucks and licks the right spots is enough to send him shooting up the sky. “Jung…Jungkook.” Jimin breathes out, and his legs are sliding down Jungkook’s body, so Jungkook hops him up, switching his hands from Jimin’s thighs to his ass and god. He bites down the curve of Jimin’s neck so hard he feels the boy shrinking. “Sorry.” He utters, voice hoarse like never before. His cheek is pressed against Jimin’s collarbone and he stays there for a second, lungs burning for air. “You’re driving me crazy.”  Jimin lazily smiles, looking down. Jungkook pulls back to look at his face, and he has all air squeezed out of him a second time in that night. Shit.“…what?” Jimin furrows his brows at Jungkook’s odd expression. “What’s wrong?” Jungkook takes more time than he thinks he should to answer. But he can’t help it. He’s stunned.“Jungkook?” “Nothing, just– I…” he lifts his eyes to meet Jimin’s. “You’re beautiful.” Jimin’s mouth fall open to form some kind of response, but he’s rendered speechless, cheeks flushing redder than his bruised lips. It’s the most adorable thing in the world. Jungkook doesn’t let him answer.He kisses his mouth with a different kind of need this time, kisses him until both of them forget how to speak, how to breath – until the only thought in the back of his mind is Park Jimin’s face and nothing more.

[noxpraelia]

REALLY  LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY.

RULES.  Repost, do not reblog !  Tag 10 !  Good  luck ! Tagged by:   @nxrestfxrthewicked ( thank u~! ) Tagging:   @glaswen | @wyntrbones | @oplitis | @abnedea | @themelissapark | @daayaan | @exulantis | @aevyternal

BASICS. FULL  NAME :  Tamera Holocombe NICKNAME/S :  Dee, Goth Princess, ‘Babe’, Div,  AGE :  20 BIRTHDAY :  December 12th ETHNIC  GROUP :  Mixed NATIONALITY :   American LANGUAGE/S :   English, Spanish, Broken Welsh & Mandarin  SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   Heterosexual  ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :   Demi-romantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :   Single. CLASS :  Middle. HOME TOWN / AREA :   A small town in southwest USA. CURRENT  HOME :  Travel-heavy, usually dwells in New York. PROFESSION :  Beating things up

PHYSICAL. HAIR :   Jet black with bangs cut just above the eyebrows in a straight line. Hair is silky and shiny despite the roughhousing she gets into. The length comes past her shoulders and halts at the midback. An occasional white strand will be had, but she plucks it out right away. EYES :   Deep set with the color being ice blue. Through certain lighting, her eyes may appear pale grey, almost lacking any true color.  NOSE :   Straight. FACE :   Heart-shaped. LIPS :  Full lips with a slight pout, rarely nude and often covered in black lipstick. X COMPLEXION :  Pale  BLEMISHES :  Pockmarks on the upper rightside of her forehead. SCARS :  Self-inflicted scars on the underside of her arms and wrists, faded and perhaps mingled with the now various fight wounds and scars from numerous bouts. The infamous thrice scars left by her Ex-Guardian and boyfriend ( Three vertical scars, an inch in width and three inches in length, on the back of her left side just on her shoulder blade). A scrambled sacrificial symbol that resides on her hip. TATTOOS :   Currently, none. Though due to change in the very near future. HEIGHT :   5′8″  WEIGHT :  128lbs  BUILD :   Athletic though leaned muscled arms. Most toned are her legs and thighs as well as her abs (4 pack, yet she’s working towards 6) due to her fight style of muay thai. She is still slender despite the muscles, and curvy. Cup size is C with slightly wide hips that give way to her powerful thighs and heart-shaped ass (petite though firm with a hint of bubble). Only piercings on her being are her nipples. FEATURES :   Bloody knuckles and salty mouth. ALLERGIES :  N/A USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :   Let down, straight. Sometimes in a loose, relaxed, ponytail or bun.  USUAL  FACE  LOOK :   Tired and angry. USUAL  CLOTHING :   Black on black ensemble. Usually looks like she walked straight out of a goth magazine. Typically wearing a black leather jacket over her current top, two belts are looped over her hips while she either wears black leather pants (which are fashioned with lace or criss-crossed string) and black combat boots. Little to none jewelry, never earrings unless its a faerie ball or an important event.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR/S :  failure, rejection, Ex-Guardian, the people that are following her, mirrors, excess blood, losing those she cares about, becoming something she’s not, ASPIRATION/S : wholesome, a protector and fighter, deeeeeeeeeep down: loved, worthwhile, helping those in need and caring for those whom she loves platonically,  POSITIVE  TRAITS :   clever, playful, feisty, humorous, bold, brave, vigilant, merciful, caring, lighthearted, strong, independent,  NEGATIVE  TRAITS :   cocky, big-mouthed and foul, nosy, smartass, indecisive, blunt, sassy, rude, grim, temperamental, over-sensitive, MBTI : ISTP ZODIAC :   Sagittarius. TEMPERAMENT :   Choleric. SOUL  TYPE / S :   Creator. ANIMALS :  Wolf. VICE  HABIT/S :  Smoking, drinking, FAITH :  Non-denominational. GHOSTS ? :  Can see and speak to them, knows they are real. AFTERLIFE ? :   yes. REINCARNATION ? :   yes. ALIENS ? :   yes. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :   lmao no. ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :   n/a. SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION :   none. EDUCATION  LEVEL :   Highschool with no college. Was never given the option and would likely not opt for it either.

FAMILY. FATHER :   David Holocombe, Viendel (father-figure) MOTHER :   Claire Holocombe SIBLINGS :   N/A EXTENDED  FAMILY :   Lucy (grandmother, deceased), Rodrigo (Uncle on father’s side) NAME  MEANING/S :   Tamera means ‘palm tree’ or ‘fruitful tree’. While her psuedonymn, Divine, is self-explanitory. Though she, herself, doesn’t understand why it was given to her. HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? :   N/A

FAVOURITES. BOOK :   Too many to count. MOVIE :   Anything horror but she knows all the lines to Dracula. 5  SONGS :   Winterborne- Cruxshadows, Brackish-Kittie, Lovesong- The cure, Nemo- Nightwish, Nymphetaine fix-Cradle of filth DEITY :  She likes all of them, save for the evil ones??? MONTH :   October. SEASON :   Winter  PLACE :   Anywhere. WEATHER :   Rain SOUND :   Rain and crackling wood SCENT/S :   white cherry blossoms, foxgloves, petrichor, french vanilla coffee TASTE/S :   Sweet, spicy FEEL/S :   soft blankets, lace, a long and comforting hug, lazy kisses, cuddles,  ANIMAL/S :   Foxes, dogs NUMBER :   16 COLOUR :   Purple, black, pastel pink

EXTRA. TALENTS :   Her eyes can pierce the Veil, so she can see beyond glamour and disguises/possessions; even seeing supernatural creatures for what they truly are if not them in their original skin. Considerably strong for a human. BAD  AT :   knitting/sewing, first impressions, can’t skillfully use a knife, cooking steak/meat dishes, small talk, yoga TURN  ONS :   Biting, neck kisses, rough makeouts, tender nibbles/kisses on her jaw, anything to do with her nipples (even a thumb brush over clothing; she’s extremely sensitive there), I think being rough in general lmao, she likes the look of her being wanted and then pounced on. TURN  OFFS :   No hygiene (bad breath moreso than anything), too much body hair (werewolves are safe~), spanking, quick submission/docile, certain pet names, anything involving bodily fluids, HOBBIES :   Painting, fps shooter games, reading, sparring, TROPES :    The Mysterious One, The Loner, The Unwilling Hero, The Goth, The Fighter, The Chosen One. Dark is not evil, Sir swears-a-lot, Glowing Eyes, Deadpan Snarker, God in Human Form. Probably missing more... AESTHETIC  TAGS :   Bloodied knuckles and  bruises, black lips and nails, graveyard dances, coffin naps, foxes in snow, wolves singing, city lights like candlelights, purple and black swirls with teal ribbons, rain on midnight skies, clenched fists that ache with rage and purpose, fairytale creatures that entice all, paintbrushes and laughter, cigarettes dotted with glitter, gothic structures and gothic romance, soft kisses at dusk, (idk what im typing tbh... it seems like you write their aesthetics but as a tag??)

FC INFO. MAIN  FC/S :   K/senia So/lo ALT  FC/S :  Manga are various minor characters. OLDER  FC/S :   None YOUNGER  FC/S :   Hann/ah Sn/owdon,  VOICE  CLAIM/S :   Elizabe/th Ba/nks as Miri

[hopelikethemoon]

Christmas Morning (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Christmas Morning Rating: PG Length: 2000 Warnings: FLUFF Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Christmas Day 1998.  Summary: Presents are opened. 

@grapemama​​​​​​ @seawhisperer​​​​​​ @huliabitch​​​​​​ @beccaplaying​​​​​​ @rogrsnbarnes​​​​​​@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns​​​​​ @gooddaykate​​​​​​ @livasaurasrex​​​​@ham4arrow​​​​​​@plexflexico @readsalot73​​​​​ @hdlynn​​​​​​ @lokiaddicted​​​​​​ @randomness501​​ @fioccodineveautunnale​​​  @roxypeanut​​​​ @snivellusim​​​​​​ @lukesrighthand​​​​​ @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts​​​​​​@synystersilenceinblacknwhite​​​​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​​ @exrebelshocktrooper​​​​​@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie​​​​​​ @swhiskeys​​​​​​ @lady-tano​ @u-wakatoshii​​​ @space-floozy​​​​​@cable-kenobi​​​​​​ @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes​​​​​​ @findhimfives​​​​​​ @pedrosdoll​​​​​​ @frietiemeloen​​​​​​@arrowswithwifi​​​​​​ @random066​​ @uncomicalhumour​​​​​ @heather-lynn​​​​​ @domino-oh-damn​​​​@cyarikaaa​​​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​​​​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​​​​​​  @yabby-girl​​​​​ @xqueenofthecraziesx​​​​​ @punkass-potato​​​​@coredrive​​​​​​ @pascalesque​​​​​​@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar​​​​​​ @sabinemorans​​​​​​ @buckstaposition​​​​​​ @holkaskrosnou​​​​​​@yespolkadotkitty​​​​​​ @fleetwoodmactshirt​​​​​ @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie​​​​​​ @jaime1110​​​​​​@katlikeme​

“Mommy, look what Nadia got me!” Josie shouted, getting your attention as you looked through the viewfinder of the camcorder. She proudly held up a bright pink CD-Rom game, “It’s the fashion designer game I’ve wanted for forever!”

Javier gave you a look, “I think she just shaded you.”

You rolled your eyes, “Thank Nadia for it.”

“The kid’s got style. How could I resist?” Nadia shrugged. “Next time we watch you, we’ll play with it, alright?”

Josie nodded her head, “Thank you.”

Chucho chuckled, “Just you wait until she opens my presents.” He took a sip of coffee before sitting it aside and taking the very squirmy Sofía out of your arms. 

“Mommy!” Josie squealed. “Monica got me the nail designer too!” She beamed at the camera.

“Looks like this is a very Barbie Christmas.” Javier remarked, resting his hand on the top of your thigh and giving it a squeeze. You pulled your housecoat around you tighter and leaned into his side. 

Josie moved onto her grandfather’s gifts, which included the Barbie Riding Club game and a matching Barbie doll. 

“Look!” Josie brandished the doll, pouting a little. “But I still don’t have a pony.”

“Hmm.” Javier tapped his chin thoughtfully, “I wonder if Santa knew. Maybe you should open your stocking.”

Josie scrambled across the floor to grab the stocking out from under the tree, before retreating back into her spot in front of the camera. 

“Clothing…” She huffed, tossing them aside like any little girl would, before she got her hands on the big toy. “A horse! Daddy, I got my pony!” She ooed and awed as she stared at the package. 

“And it walks,” You told her with a grin. 

Mitch leaned over the back of the sofa, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “That smile right there reminds me of a certain sixteen year old and Dove.”

“Oh God.” You hid your face. 

“Who’s Dove?” Javier questioned. 

You playfully swatted Mitch’s hand off your shoulder. “The guitar I got for Christmas after I moved in with them,” You explained, scrunching up your nose “It was black and had this stupid white dove on the front.”

“She was just the cutest thing,” Darla remarked from behind the sofa where she was sitting beside Mitch on the chairs Javier had pulled in from the dining table. “But she was no Stevie Nicks.” 

Javier grinned at you, rubbing his hand up and down your leg, “I didn’t know you played.” 

“Not well.” You assured him, making a face as you pressed your lips against his shoulder. 

“She wasn’t terrible,” Mitch amended. “Not great, but not terrible.” 

“Mommy, are you getting this?” Josie questioned as she tugged on a dress over her pajamas. 

Monica laughed, “Why don’t we do a fashion show later?”

“Does Tate want to do a fashion show?” Josie questioned. 

Tate clenched his teeth and grimaced, looking towards you and his parents for a way out. 

“Tate would love to be in your fashion show,” Mitch told Josie, patting Tate on the back. 

“Thanks dad.” He grumbled, shaking his head. 

“Now, let’s see what mommy and daddy got for you.” Javier said, gesturing to the large box that was still sitting under the Christmas tree.

“But I’ve already got everything I wanted!” Josie announced, even as she hauled the box over and started peeling away the wrapping paper. She stopped once she realized what was in the box, her jaw dropping as she looked directly at the camera, before looking towards you and Javier. “Mommy!” She grinned at you. 

“Well, let us see.” Chucho remarked, taking another sip of coffee. 

Josie quickly peeled away the paper and proudly held up the American Girl doll that you had been eyeing for over a year. As soon as that catalog showed up in the mail last Christmas… you had known you had to buy it for her. 

“What’s her name?” Monica questioned, tilting her head as she tried to catch a glimpse of what the name was, but Josie was quick to turn it back around so only she could see it. 

“Her name is Josefina! Just like me!” 

“No kidding,” Chucho remarked, looking at you and Javier then. “That worked out didn’t it.” 

You laughed, biting on your thumbnail. “An arm and a leg later.” 

“Let me see,” Nadia said, holding her hand out to take the box from Josie. “Josefina Montoya.”

“Wait a stinky minute!” Josie jumped up suddenly, racing down the hallway towards her bedroom. 

You pursed your lips and looked between the other adults in the room, “Where do children get those phrases?” You laughed, sitting up a little as you looked down the hallway as she came trotting back with a book in her hands. Ah. 

“You’ve been reading to me about her, Mommy! You clever lady!” She jumped onto the sofa, nearly causing Chucho to spill his coffee beside you as she threw herself onto yours and Javier’s laps. 

“I wanted you to know all about your new friend,” You told her, poking her in the belly. “I hope you realize you’ve been spoiled rotten today.” 

“It’s because I was a good girl all year.” Josie grinned brightly at you, tucking her hands under her head as she reclined back on you. 

Javier tapped his finger against her nose, “And now you’ve gotta be a good girl for a whole new year.” 

She sighed dramatically, “Well, I’ve gotta be good for sissy.” Josie sat up and walled her way in between you and Chucho to dote on her sister. 

Mitch leaned over the sofa, “You’ve done good, kid.” 

You smiled back at him, “I’ve tried to.” 

“So what did you two get each other?” Monica questioned. “I noticed you two already did gifts.” 

Javier snorted, “That’s what happens when you’re parents and you get up before the little ones.” He curled his arm around your shoulders, “Aside from the grill, someone got me the Star Wars trilogy on VHS.” 

“And a couple new games for his Playstation,” You said, patting his leg. “And he got me an office chair for our office at school.” You shrugged. The real gift had been the update to the silver bracelet you wore. Hidden under the band, away from anyone’s gaze, was a special date in May — etched in alongside all the other important dates in your lives. 

You still couldn’t believe that a few feet away, unbeknownst to everyone except for Chucho — the picture of the two of you, fresh out of saying your vows, hung on the wall without anyone knowing. 

Your little secret. 

“You know, the fact that you play video games gives me hope for other people from your generation.” 

“You’re right behind us,” You reminded her with a pointed look.

“You and Javier are Boomers,” Nadia pointed out. “Monica and I are Generation X.” 

“I feel like this is a slam.” Javier remarked, his brows drawn together skeptically. “Is this a slam?”

“Now we know where Josie’s getting her zingers.” 

Josie nodded her head, “I get all the zingers, mommy.” She grabbed at your hand and kissed it. “I love you mommy.” 

“Aw, I love you too sweetheart.” You kissed the top of her head. 

“You too, daddy.” 

“Love you, princesa.” 

Josie jumped off the sofa, startling Stevie who jerked awake. “I love everyone in this room!” She announced, before snatching up her American Girl doll box and heading back towards her bedroom. 

“I so thought the horse would be the biggest draw,” You remarked with a shake of your head. “I guess you can’t always know.” You took the baby back from Chucho, settling her into the spot in between you and Javier so she could recline back against him. 

Chucho gave your arm a pat before he hauled himself off the sofa, “I’m gonna make another cup, now that the fun’s over with.” 

“Make a whole pot, will you? I need coffee.” You said as you stifled a yawn. 

Mitch got up from his chair and walked around to take Chucho’s seat on the sofa. “Thank you for inviting us back into your life.” He said, gesturing towards Tate and Darla. “Not a day went by that I didn’t worry about you. Hoping that you’d turn out alright, despite everything. And you have.” 

You felt tears prickle behind your eyelids as you blinked slowly, “Thank you, Mitch. I wish I’d made more of an effort.” 

“It all works out in the end,” He said with a wave of his hand. “You and your family are welcome in Philly.” Mitch looked towards Monica and Nadia then, “You two as well.” 

“Really?” Monica smiled. “I’m honored.” 

“You’re family.” Mitch said with a warm smile, before he looked back at you. “I’m proud of you and I know dad would be… God, he’d be thrilled to see how well you’ve done for yourself. That’s all he ever wanted.” 

You wiped at your eyes, “I don’t know where I’d be if he hadn’t set everything up for me. I know I’m really lucky.” You knew there were hundreds of thousands of kids who went through the same bullshit you did — every day. 

Monica had shitty parents. Connie’s mother was in the running for craziest mother of the year. 

“I just want to do right by my girls.” You told him. “They deserve the world I didn’t have.” 

Javier squeezed your shoulder three times as he kept his arm curled around you. “I’m glad you welcomed Mitch into our family,” He started with an amused tone in his voice. “Otherwise I’d never know you could play the guitar.” He snapped his fingers. “Steve’s got one.”

You turned your head slowly and glared at him, “No.” 

“Oh, come on.” 

“No!” You laughed, slapping his leg. 

“She really wasn’t that bad,” Mitch pointed out. “If she had actually practiced.”

You scrunched up your nose, “I felt weird taking lessons from your nanny.” 

“She was paid for it!” Darla assured you. “And to think, you could be some big name musician if you’d put a little effort into it.” 

“I wouldn’t have met Javier.” You said without hesitation. “There’s no variation of my life where I’d be okay with that.” 

“I dunno,” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Maybe I’d be working security for your concerts.” 

You rolled your eyes, “No.” 

“You two go well together,” Mitch pointed out, drawing a line between the two of you. “I don’t think I ever saw this spark between you or any of the guys you brought home.” 

“MItch!” You shot him a look. “Shut up.” 

“No, no. I’m curious now.” Javier glanced around you. “What were these men li—” You covered his mouth with your hand before he could finish. 

“Nope. We are not having this conversation.” You warned him, turning back towards Mitch then. “Don’t.” You slowly uncovered Javier’s mouth. “I went to an all girl’s school, my choice of boys was narrowed down to Darla’s friends’ sons and the sons of the ladies at the DAR.” 

“They weren’t terrible.” Darla pointed out. 

“The were the poster boys for frat houses, college sports, and the dictionary definition of WASPs.” 

“Oh,” Javier tilted his head. “Lance?”

You made a face, “Unfortunately. In my defense it was Philadelphia.” 

“The pickings were slim.” Darla laughed. “But look what it’s led you to.” She patted the top of your head in a very familiar fashion, before she headed into the kitchen to get a cup of the coffee Chucho was brewing. 

“All that matters is that you’re happy, kid.” Mitch reminded you. 

“Oh, I am.” You assured him. “I think I’ve maxed out on happy.” 

“And we’ve maxed out on camera space.” Javier pointed out, setting Sofía in your lap as he scooted forward to fiddle with the camcorder. 

This was what Christmas was going to be like for the rest of your life. A stark contrast to the Christmases you remembered from years past — back when the holiday seemed like a black mark on the calendar because you never got to be with the people who actually loved you. 

Now you had that love and you were never letting it go.