#i think im having my masc renaissance. good for me

[weaverofink]

i can’t believe THIS is the guy giving me gender envy

[puppyeared]

renaissance dogys

characters belong to @canisalbus

[transadvice]

I always wished I was a boy and if I could restart life as a boy I would with no hesitation, but im okay with having a female body. is what I feel similar to trans people or?? ahdhdh I'm so confused about this

Wishing for the chance to switch to, or start over as, another gender: this is a common daydream for people with gender dysphoria. I know that it’s something I thought about a lot before I transitioned. “What if there were a button you could press...” “What if I woke up one day and...”

People who don’t have dysphoria just don’t think about that kind of thing too much. If it ever occurs to them, they just think “huh lol weird,” and give it as much thought as, I dunno, the chance to start live over in the Renaissance, or the chance to start life over born in another country. You know - a passing thought, mildly interesting, not likely to recur. The difference between cis people mildly wondering about being another gender and trans people experiencing dysphoria is frequency and intensity of the wishing/wondering/daydreaming. When you have dysphoria, it’s something you think about often. 

Incidentally, before I transitioned, I also insisted that I was “okay with” my body and with being seen as female. I’m not saying this to say that you are definitely me - I’m sure that people exist who would legitimately be fine with either set of secondary sex characteristics - but I was not one of them. I disliked my breasts, my high voice, the way people saw me and treated me as a woman. Yet, I also felt a strong desire to “not rock the boat” and “not be any trouble” and that made me assert, even to myself, that I was “fine” just as I was. 

I also wasn’t dysphoric about everything! For example, I’ve never had genital dysphoria, and I like having a smaller stature. (I always saw myself as a short guy.) So, these things made it more difficult to figure out that the dysphoria I did have was “enough” to warrant taking transition steps. 

I can’t tell you if you are a trans guy, if you are nonbinary, if you have some dysphoria but ultimately feel that cis woman is a “good enough” description of you. What I can tell you is that the short description you’ve given me resonates with me, a trans guy, and would resonate with many other transmasculine people. It sounds like it would be worth it for you to chat with a therapist, or read some books for or by trans people, or experiment with some nonpermanent transition steps (e.g. binding, presenting more masc, using different name/pronouns online - whatever seems most appealing to you.) You have “reasonable doubt” about your gender, and now it’s time to gather more information through research or trial-and-error. 

Good luck!