#i think illl write something about rebraining the campers next

[feel-mobile]

Psychoswap: To the Top of Thorny Towers

“Alright! I did it! Now just to climb up this tower. And here I am. In a straightjacket. Talking to myself. Okay enough with this disguise!” 

Lucy stepped out of the elevator, stowing away the pom pom, paper drawing, and straightjacket. 

“The things I do for Ford’s brain…”

Lucy put her hands on her hips, staring down the hallway in front of her. Things looked normal enough, but Lucy had seen how tall this tower was. If only she had access to that other elevator! Then she could ride it straight to the top.

For now, it was time to do it the hard way. Lucy began walking, but what was that squeaking sound? Lucy looked down at her feet just in time to see a rat explode in her face.

“Aghh! Confusion gas!” Lucy gagged, stumbling backwards. There was still more squeaking, more of them must be on their way. And Lucy couldn’t even tell where she was going. Not until the gas wore off. Oh no, she could see more of the rats on their way. Lucy quickly grabbed the lighter Norma gave her, and waved it by her ear.

“Ooh, careful not to set your hair on fire,” Norma said as she popped out of Lucy’s ear. “What’s the situation?”

“Have you ever been confused by a rat?” Lucy asked. 

“Ugh, constantly!” Norma complained. “The trick is to set them on fire, then they can’t explode in your face.”

“Thanks Agent Natividad, nothing more to report,” Lucy said.

“Good luck, kid,” Norma said as she left.

“Alright, rats,” Lucy said, readying her pyrokinesis. “Get ready to be gross little marshmallows!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Lucy ran through the hallways, setting the rats on fire as she went. She twirled across one of the bars jutting out of the ground, and then swung off another bar and onto the ground with a flip. There was even a brain lying in the corner.

“Crispen Whytehead,” she said. “Huh, his brain really does feel as greasy as his hair.”

Everything seemed fine until she suddenly heard a noise from around the corner.

“Hello? Anyone there?” she asked, but only saw a glimpse of orange move away from the window.

“What the-” she muttered, and then ran over to the window. But there was nothing there. “Huh. Weird.”

This wasn’t a waste of time though, as there was a brain in the corner.

“Milla Vodello!” Lucy exclaimed. “I swear I can hear music.”

Eventually Lucy made it to an open area, gross green slime bubbling underneath.

“Ew, I’ll make sure to avoid that,” she said to herself, and then heard another noise of someone following her. “Hey!! Who's there!”

Lucy, now annoyed, looked around the wall but didn’t see anyone. Who was following her! She walked back around to the roof, and started to climb up. She had to remember that this was the real world. If she fell, she would die for real. Just don’t look down! She could do this, easy!

Coming across a little ledge, Lucy found another brain, setting rats on fire as she went over to it.

“Sasha Nein!” she said. “I’ll put it next to Milla’s.”

There was that noise again. At this point Lucy was ignoring it, there were more important things to worry about. Like making sure she didn’t fall when swinging across these gaps. A bit of rocks crumbled beneath Lucy’s feet, and she slipped and fell, pulling out her thought bubble to float down to the ground just in time.

“Are you kidding me?!” she groaned as she realized she would have to climb all the way back up again. Better get started.

After ten more minutes, she was almost to the top. There was another brain!

“Truman Zanotto! ! I told you I’d find your brain!”

Lucy pulled herself through the hole in the floor, and then climbed up the broken rails to some stairs. 

“Get out of here!”

“Hey! Who said that!” Lucy said, looking around for the source of the voice. There was no one. Ugh, this was so frustrating! Guess she better continue climbing. But then, with a loud sound like thunder, someone appeared in front of her, startling her.

“This is your last warning!” A woman in an orange spacesuit said. “Leave this place at once!”

“Who- what-” Lucy said, but the woman was already gone. “Well that was weird. I’m gonna just… keep going.”

Lucy walked up the stairs and over to another elevator, going straight up. She had reached the top of the tower, some stairs leading up to the room above.

“Almost there!” she said to herself quietly, and ascended up the stairs. Until she spotted a bird hitting a button, and the stairs turned into a slide, sending her back down.

“Rude,” she muttered, and turned invisible, able to pass right by the bird. That event would not be elaborated on again.

“All of these brains are worthless, Chloe, worthless!” Lucy heard as she climbed up the ladder, seeing ZIlch stalking around his sad excuse for a lab. “What do I have to do to get a good brain around here!”

“Zilch, you asked me to retrieve the brains of children, I don’t know what you expected,” Chloe said, deadpan. Lucy recognized her as the lady she had seen before.

“Psychic children! Children with unnatural powers that can take over the world! They should be powerful! Bring me more brains, Chloe!”

“We need to work on you, Bobby,” Chloe sighed.

Lucy climbed into the room, hiding behind a table. There were three jars nearby, each of them labeled with a photograph. Those were Dogen, Phoebe, and Quentin’s brains! Zilch wasn’t leaving them alone though. She would have to find a way to get them. Lucy crawled out from under the table and snuck towards the door, but she was noticed before she could make it.

“Aha!” Zilch exclaimed. “What’s this? It’s a brain! This must be the package the blonde lady mentioned. We’ll just need to extract the needed brain. Chloe!!!! Bring this brain up to the room with the others, I’ll deal with that next!”

“I tried to warn you, kid,” Chloe said, and grabbed her arm, dragging her out the door and up the ramp. Which just happened to be where she wanted to go anyway.

“Hey- why are you working for that man! He’s stealing everyone's brains!” Lucy said as they reached the top of the room.

“I know. But I chose him to study because I believe he may be like me. Also, I can fix him.”

“Like you?”

“An ambassador from the stars. A lost alien.”

“Oh.”

“I do not agree with his employer’s wishes to take over the world, but I still agree to help him. Why? Because Zilch has my private captive. While he would never hurt me- I have guessed this is because of the thing humans call ‘romantic attraction’ -he does want to ensure that I will continue to bring him brains.”

“So you’re still gonna help him with taking over the world?”

“I’d rather not. But again, he has Private Linda. If he didn’t, I may be able to help you instead.”

“Fine, I’ll rescue this Linda person for you. But this better not be a double crossing!” Lucy said, and then finally went into the room at the top of the tower.

“Lucy! You came to save me!”

Ford was inside of the room, trapped in a psychic lock. In three other chairs were the other agents.

“Ford! Of course I did, I wasn’t going to let you get eaten by a turtle!” Lucy said. “Oh no, is that Dogen, Phoebe, and Quentin’s brainless bodies?”

“Yeah, this has been the most boring five hours of my life, after that creepy doctor gave up on trying to make me sneeze out my brains, I’ve just been sitting here with these guys,” Ford complained.

Great that she showed up. Just when my cold was starting to go away. Now we can kiss. Wait, did she-

Lucy, having heard that, simply smiled.

“Hey, stop reading my mind! And help me get this stupid lock off instead!”

“I’ll need the others help first, I can’t break it with one psi-blast,” Lucy told him. “But I’ll be able to get their brains back soon!”

“Okay, make sure to get Otto too.”

“Huh?”

“On the table.”

Sure enough, there was a jar with a blurry picture of Otto on it. His brain was inside of it.

“Got it. Rescue missions like this are very delicate operations. Chloe, wait here while I go save your friend. But first I’ll have to make a stop back at HQ to rebrain some kids.”

“Roger that,” Chloe said with a nod.

----------

As soon as Norma had teleported her back after rebraining the kids, Lucy had snuck back into the lab. Now where was Linda? There was no other person in the room, only Zilch and some fish in the corner.

“This brain is no good,” Zilch snapped, throwing it back down onto the table. “I tell you Linda, they just don’t make brains like they used to anymore!”

Hold on, was he talking to the fish? He was. So Linda was the fish. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised at this point,” Lucy said quietly, and then crept over to the fish tank. When Zilch had his back turned, she carefully picked up the bowl with her telekinesis.

“Okay um. Linda?” she whispered as she moved the bowl. “I’m gonna get you out of here, don’t make any loud noises!”

The fish just stared at her blankly. Lucy caught the bowl in her hands, and then quietly walked backwards and out of the room, not being caught by Zilch at all.

“Chloe, I got your… fish!” Lucy said once she had run back up the ramp outside.

“You did? Oh, excellent job! Now she can tell us our plan!” Chloe said, grinning.

“Um. Okay,” Lucy said, not believing her. She handed over the fishbowl, and Linda swam to the top.

“Okay Private, I hope you thought of a good plan while you were down there. What do you have?” Chloe asked.

“Yes, Commander!” the fish replied, much to Lucy’s shock. “I’ve got a plan, just listen closely. Give Zilch my brain, and then when his back is turned, we can have the little girl throw me into that death-car prototype nearby. Then, I’ll shoot him out the window.”

“Private, I thought we discussed we aren’t killing him!”

“Don’t worry, Commander! We’ve got someone else helping. Sam will be down at the bottom of the tower to catch him.”

“Good. Another extraterrestrial helping out. And he knows not to kill him?”

“Yes.”

“It’s settled then. Alright little girl,” Chloe said, now talking to Lucy. “You better hurry. The blonde lady is going to be back soon.”

“Got it,” Lucy said. “You do your part of the plan, and I’ll do mine.”

----------

“Bobby, I’ve got another brain for you!” Chloe announced, holding out Linda’s brain, which was weirdly big for a lungfish.

“You do?” Zilch said, sounding excited. “Well hand it over then! Thanks, Chloe. I knew I could count on you.”

Chloe nodded, and then left the room, Lucy sneaking in. She picked up the brain, and tossed it into the death-car. Then it unceremoniously shot Zilch out the window, and all he had time to do was scream.

“That’s for stealing my friend’s brains!” Lucy said. “Wow. I thought it would be more.. eventful than that. Is that really it?”

She went over to the window, looking outside. Yeah, he was gone. Lucy shrugged, that was easy enough. She picked up the three jars with brains in them and carried them out the doorway.

----------

Lucy stood there patiently as Dogen, Phoebe, and Quentin all came back to their senses.

“Wow, I am going to have a headache for weeks!” Phoebe said.

“How did you even manage to rebrain us? That’s a very complicated process,” Quentin asked.

“Oh, I’ve been learning about it here and there, but Chloe is an expert on this.”

“And now we’re even,” Chloe said. “I need to return to my studies of planet Earth. Goodbye, Earth creatures!”

With a wave from both her and Linda, they walked out the door.

“Who was that?” Dogen asked.

“Can you guys please get me out of this dumb hat?” Ford asked.

“Oh! Right!” Phoebe said. “Come on, Lucy. Help us break him out.”

“Okay!” Lucy said, and her, Quentin, Phoebe, and Dogen all psiblasted the lock, breaking it open.

“Finally!” Ford exclaimed, jumping out of the chair. “That thing was starting to hurt my head.”

“At least he didn’t get your brain!” Phoebe said.

“You’ve surprised me again, Lucy,” Dogen said. “I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done.”

“All in a day's work for a Psychonaut!” Lucy said confidently.

“Psi-Cadet, you mean,” Quentin corrected with a laugh.

“Hey, the Psychonauts should be lucky to have someone like Lucy!” Ford said. “The brain she has is-”

“Is one in a million!”

Elka was standing in the doorway, having arrived when no one was looking.

“Thank you to all of you for bringing it right to my door!”

“Doom!” Phoebe glared, stepping in front of Ford and Lucy.

“You!” Lucy said angrily, pushing in front of the adults. “You took all my friend’s brains, you turned an innocent turtle into a mutated monster, you stole all the teachers- derailing my education, and worst of all, you kidnapped my boyfriend!”

Ford nodded in agreement, stepping up to Lucy’s side.

“This fight is too big for both of you,” Quentin said.

“You know, my sister has a pet ferret,” Lucy said. “And I had to help clean up after it. So trust me when I say I know how to deal with this ugly pile of- HEY!”

Before Lucy could finish, a glowing shield appeared around her and Ford.

“Let the grown ups handle this, kids!” Quentin said, lifting them up in a pink, psychic shield.

“No fair! We get to kill him too!” Ford protested as they were levitated out of the room.

“Bring us back!” Lucy yelled as they got farther away from the room, only able to see a little bit of the psychic battle that was starting.

Elka placed a hand to her head, starting to glow with psychic powers. The other three retaliated, firing blasts at Elka, who deflected them with a shield of her own. But Lucy didn’t get to see any of that, her and Ford were placed down on the ground, the shield dissipating around them.

“Ugh! What do I have to do to make those guys take me seriously!” Lucy grumbled, kicking at a rock. But then she got a completely unrelated idea.

“We gotta go back up there,” Ford said, pacing around. “We can’t miss the whole fight! I might be able to teleport both of us back up, but it would be difficult.”

Well, when are you just gonna shut up and kiss me?

“Uh, Lucy. I can hear that,” Ford said.

“I know,” Lucy said, and then leaned in to kiss him.

----------

Meanwhile, at the top of the tower, the fight was still going on. Everything was burning thanks to a series of events that had happened down below, but the agents hadn’t noticed.

“Surrender!” Phoebe yelled.

“I would never!” Elka yelled back. They were at a standstill, even though it was three against one. Dogen, Quentin, and Phoebe couldn’t break their concentration locking Elka in place, but she could still fire at them. 

Then with a sound bang, Elka was hit by a blast of psychic energy, stunning her.

“The Psychonauts have a word for people who turn on their own, Elka,” Norma said, flying into the room. There was a large rock of psitanium strapped to her back, the only reason she could be here and still be the Norma everyone knew.

“I don’t need the Psychonauts!” Elka said, staggering to her feet. “I’m going to build my own corporation that’ll crush the Psychonauts like ants! Got a word for that?”

“Yeah,” Norma smirked, and took out some super sneezing powder. “Gesundheit!”

She blew the powder directly into Elka’s face, who then started to sneeze.

“Aaa.. aa.. AACHOO!”

The top of Thorny Towers exploded just as she sneezed, and just as Ford and Lucy started to kiss. 

“Wow…” Ford murmured when they stopped kissing.

“Wow!” Lucy said, the falling rubble catching her attention. Wait. They needed to run. Lucy grabbed Ford’s hand, pulling him out of the way of the falling rocks. There were just too many, and Lucy wasn’t fast enough to outrun them all! Several fell in front of the two kids, blocking their path. There was nowhere to go now. Just as one was about to fall on her and Ford, she pulled him close to her and put up a shield around the two of them, closing her eyes and hoping for the best.

.....

Lucy opened her eyes again, a large rock sliding off of the shield as it dissipated. She looked at Ford and smiled, taking his hand. They had survived the fall of Thorny Towers! They both walked back into what was left of the building, looking around for Dogen, Phoebe, and Quentin.

“Kids! You’re alright!” Quentin said as he landed next to them, Phoebe and Dogen following behind.

“That was my fight!” Lucy complained. “I was totally ready for it.”

“It takes years of training to be ready for a fight like that,” Phoebe said.

“You’d be surprised! This one’s been acing all my extra credit assignments!” Norma said, landing next to Lucy as well. 

“I beat Elka once before, I can do it again!”

“That was just a remote projection, yknow,” Dogen said. “Nowhere near as strong as she’d be in the real world.”

As if Dogen’s words had summoned her, Elka stumbled out of a pile of rubble.

“Teevee?” was all she said. The adults saw her, and started laughing. Nothing to worry about now, just a brainless body! But Lucy had a bad feeling.

“Wait. Where’s her brain?” she asked.

“Oh, probably stuck in one of her plans to take over the world,” Quentin said casually, walking towards the exit. Lucy looked at Ford, whose eyes widened when he realized exactly what that meant.

The ground started to shake, and the biggest fancy car that Lucy had ever seen burst out of the ground.

“Hey. How’s the weather down there, you little ants?” Elka’s voice echoed across the ruins. She shot a blast of energy, knocking out everyone except for Lucy.

“Oh no,” Lucy said, getting ready to fight.

“Finally. Alone at last, Lucrecia,” Elka said. 

“If you’re looking to pick a fight, you’ve got one!” Lucy yelled up at the giant death-car.

“Ah yes… I’ve been dying for a chance to pick your brain!” Elka cackled as she swiped a psychic claw at Lucy, other psychic hands picking up stones and rubble to throw. 

“Two can play at that game!” Lucy said, rolling out of the way.

“Yes, but only one can win! Ahahaha!”