#i think if someone was to ask me to choose a chocolate to eat exclusively forever rn it'd probably be lindt gold bars

[hangingslothcentral]

update: i am still unwell but my sister has managed to acquire me some ✨pistachio lindt lindor✨ a thing whose existence i was fantasising about a couple of weeks ago only to discover it is REAL and also, tragically, out of stock on the lindt UK website. anyway i'll be getting to try those on Friday and I am SO excited. pistachio is possibly my favourite flavour for things to be, aside from mochi, in which case my favourite is sesame.

also i am not unwell in a super alarming way or anything, in case anyone is worried! i should be more okay in a few days.

--- Eira xxx

[missgeniality]

Opaline Moon (m)

“The Moon can never breathe, but it can take our breath away with the beauty of its cold, arid orb.” - Munia Khan

➺ Banner: @hobiandsprite​ 💕

➺ Pairing: Seokjin x Female Reader

➺ Trope: Friends to Lovers, Idol!AU

➺ Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

➺ Rating: 18+

➺ Word Count: 11.2k

➺ Summary: You are ingrained to love Jin, right upto the blood that courses through your veins. Confessing, however, is a whole other game. So it’s a good thing you’re bad at keeping your hands to yourself, because happenstance can handle the rest. 

➺ Warnings: talks about dance floor fucking, making out in the bar bathroom, fingering, pussy slapping, passing out drunk, daydreams about thigh riding, reader masturbates, they make out A LOT, neck kissing, a hickey, nipple play, some biting, cum eating (kind of, you’ll see), blowjob, protected sex!, reader and jin are corny, the hurt is real but the sex is real-er

➺ Author’s Note: My lovely, lovely moots - @taegularities​, @kithtaehyung​ and @baepsaetan​, thank you so much for betaing this and hyping it up, your comments made this fic a hundred times better! As I mentioned on the teaser, this fic took a lot out of me, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing the angst and will write more whenever the story aligns! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing, and I hope this lovable Jin reaches your heart! (ngl, in usual fashion, I will come back and edit it again, so if you see a spelling mistake, your eyes are lying to you) Do let me know what you think, your asks and comments make my day!

This is the second part of my Dress Down series, find more at it’s masterlist!

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ | ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

Sweltering heat. Blaring traffic. Little to no sleep. Through all things wrong, one man’s thoughts wrapped around you like a cooling breeze, a shield to protect you from the vicissitudes of reality, to draw you back into all of him. Unfortunately, your reality may never see that day come to light.

Kim Seokjin.

Kim Seokjin, the man who cooked you up a greasy break-up meal at three in the morning with not a sight of discomfort, putting your needs above all.

Kim Seokjin, whose puns make you roll your eyes heavenward, half awed at how he manages to pull one out of his collection at a moment's notice, and half irked by the untimely laugh it brings out of you.

Kim Seokjin, the man who will never be yours, and you have no one to blame but yourself. 

One could argue that the miscommunication that had caused this present condition was two-way. If you had stopped him, corrected him, let him know the truth… you wouldn’t have to resort to the extreme measures you’re currently entangled in. One would also say, you are trying to redeem your mistake by trying too hard. Surely, everyone and their mothers could see through your ruse. 

This is the fourth time you’re visiting Jin for his BE shoot - a shoot taking place two hours away from the city, disguised under various layers of secrecy to prevent any leakage of the album concept, or Jin in general. Of course, you had been made privy to such exclusive information, because you and Jin were ‘best friends’. 

Best. Friends.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Best friends. The term you coined for (and forced upon) the bond you had. The bond that was too close to sprouting into something new, something fresh, something that was filled with glimmering allure and dragged you in like quicksand. But also, it reeked of commitment, of shadows, of newness that you hadn’t felt in the longest time, and fear of already being far too deep in without even taking the first step. 

The loud thrum of some internet kid’s new hit pulses through the air of the club as bundles of couples occupy the dance floor, laughing and gyrating to a song that, in your opinion, most definitely does not suit gyrating. But with enough of the weekend happy hours intake combined with hormone-riddled minds, one could very well throw it back to a church choir. 

You weave through the drunken bodies, trying not to spill the precariously held three drinks in your hands, making your way to your inner circle, the only people to blame for dragging you to this slosh-fest.

“Y/N!” 

Somehow Hoseok’s voice can echo across the club, but you didn’t even need his addressal because Jin’s laughter is loud enough to navigate anyone to your table. Seeing you struggle with the glasses (and mostly the crowd, with some of them living their exhibitionist dreams), Hoseok gets up to assist you.

“I swear, if I see one more couple pretending to be dancing as they rub one off of each other’s thighs, the black market will have my eyes.”

“Oh yeah?” Jin’s breathy voice interjects your black-market dreams, still bursting in short laughs from whatever sent him rolling before your arrival. “Why don’t you go join them?”

“And whose thigh is she taking, yours?” Yeji snorts out, one hand holding her nebula blue drink, the other wrapped around Hoseok, urging him to come closer. Jin’s features scrunch into a cringe, and you’re thankful for the dim lighting because the disappointment in your features does not reach them.

“The only action these leather pants are getting is in the damned laundromat,” he points to his shiny trousers, “some jerk dropped his drink on it.”

“You could be the first person to give some chick an orgasm and a yeast infection.” Hoseok giddily adds, his fifth shot clearly making a mess of his brain cells. 

Jin claps and gets up to move away from the group. “Better than a pregnancy!” he yells, before zigzagging through the crowd, possibly to the restroom. He is on his third cocktail, and you’d think cocktails are lighter drinks. But in this bar, their taps just seem to flow with tequila, and it is very evident in the way Jin is currently walking.

His absence hits you harder than you think, but it might be the alcohol talking. Jin has always been the mood-maker of the group, the one who brings everyone together. Of late though, his magnetic persona has been an irritant in your life. Any outing you two take, any chance you have to come clean about the burgeoning crush you have on him, is effectively disrupted by one of his posse. And today, Hoseok and Yeji took that trophy. 

“Earth to Y/N. Has the cocktail finally broken you?”

You flutter your eyes in a manic fashion, to disperse the daydream you were indulging yourself in, and bring your attention back to the couple calling for you. Surprisingly, they have stood up, Yeji emptying the last of her neon drink. 

“What happened?”

“We are going to the club nearby, they have better stuff. And that’s code for ‘they actually add water to the drink and the surround sound doesn’t shatter your ear drum’.’” 

She isn’t wrong. The cocktails and music here are a 19-year-old frat party dream, not something the working class can digest. But you’re tired at this point, and don’t want to be smothered by someone else’s love life when your own is down the dumps.

“You guys carry on! I’ll tell Jin where you are and he’ll meet you there!”

You watch as Hoseok and Yeji lead each other to the exit, hands circling their partner’s waist. They giggle on and on, about nothing and everything, and it only hardens the emptiness you feel inside you. 

Why can’t you gather the balls to spit your feelings out? What could possibly go wrong? Yes, you may lose one of your closest friends, but is this friendship really worth the agony? The bitterness you feel when you see any couple enjoying themselves? The anger you harbor whenever Jin tells you about his dates? The heartache, when he hugs you and tells you that you’re the best thing that’s happened to him… as a friend? Is it? Your plastered brain tells you to not make any rash decisions, so you don’t, instead choosing to get up and search for your best friend. 

The corridor leading to the washrooms is dimly lit, throwing a merlot filter over your eyesight, making you squint in search of your friend. You being shitfaced does not help, and while relishing in your floating wooziness, you see Jin come out, and feelings you’ve held at bay for so long slither through your currently porous defenses. 

He has always been good-looking. He himself has said so a dozen times.

But wow.

His hair lays messily atop his beautiful face, unkempt, like a breeze of beauty swept across his mighty looks and displaced every strand, causing disarray, but even the disarray only frames his superior looks and adds to its potent charm. The black, patchy sweater hanging loose off his broad shoulders makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel as a friend. That stupid gut of yours is currently screaming, yelling for all hands on deck, trying to block all the feelings from gushing in and sending you into overdrive.

By the time you can gather yourself to stop from giving in to those dangerous thoughts, Jin has crossed the distance between you, coming close, too close. Chocolate-brown eyes peer into your soul, searching for whichever fantasy you chose to lose yourself in. His eyes flit down to notice your rumpled dress that has found its way a couple of inches above its designated spot. His gaze returns to yours, but not without a newfound hardness, an almost steely glaze over the kindness that you usually find in the chocolate pools, accentuated under the garnet lighting. 

“Hey, umm…” You beg for a reprieve, from your thoughts, from your filthy mind, from the way he is eyeing your cleavage, or just for the burning between your legs. You’re about to make some serious mistakes, you can feel it down to your bone.

You’re far too overdressed. 

You knew it when you were in the process of getting dressed, but right now, you feel it much more - you look like a shiny disco ball orbiting amidst the plethora of loose tees, leggings and flannels. Everything screams comfort, because the amount of work they’re putting into this begs for it. 

The strappy lace sundress you wear is extremely out of place, the halter-neck tie behind your neck fastened a little looser than necessary, giving your breasts the exposure they deserve, a nice valley view. Your dress skirt, adorned with pretty frills and dainty flowers, cut across your thigh to frame your petite hips. You are one floppy sun hat away from an extravagant Greek cruise - and in the moment you wish you had one to hide your face in shame. 

You’re just out here, trying to escape the zone. 

“Oh, would you look at the time, it’s tits out Tuesday already?”

Your eyes roll before Sanghoon even finishes his sentence, because you wouldn’t expect anything else from him. On the team of the set design, he is carrying a whole drapery worth of plush, mauve curtains, struggling with the slipping fabric. But apparently not struggling enough to stop him from getting his nose into your business, it seems.

“Literally not even a time you just mentioned. Can’t get one thing right.” You can’t stop yourself from stretching a hand out to feel the curtain fabric, the satiny sheets begging to be touched. Before you can though, Sanghoon moves away, not allowing you to shift the focus of the conversation.

“Don’t steer away from the facts. Your tits.”

“That’s the fact?”

“They’re out.” He bucks up, trying to point with the hand stuffed underneath all the cloth. “That’s the fact.”

“Ugh, can’t a girl dress up once in a while?” The pointed attention makes you uncomfortable, because everything he’s insinuating is true. With every passing staff member, you count a new shade of grey, interspersed with occasional blacks and greens, a stark contrast to your floral overtones. Amidst the thousand footsteps taken in your vicinity, only yours are pointed heels, echoing across the studio with every clack. But you’re a stubborn one, refusing to give in to his totally valid argument. “I just woke up early.”

“Girl.” Like light through frosted glass, he sees through your bullshit, but only partially. “You put an alarm to dress up? I have nightmares of the boss brandishing her whip and telling me to get into position, and even that doesn’t wake me up.” 

“Have you ever considered… not announcing your kinks to everyone and their sisters?”

“Ehh,” he simply shrugs, “nothing is new when you’ve serenaded your boss drunk in a karaoke bar and still managed to keep your job. Wait. Is that highlighter?”

“Stop staring into my tits!” You can’t believe you got caught, but also, who can you blame? After testing this outfit out from the crack of dawn, you decided your cleavage needed some extra help. Three YouTube tutorials and one TikTok lady - who make it look far easier than it is - down, the contouring brought out the swell of your breasts, and against the light fabric of your dress, it does look too good to be true.

Memories of that night in the bar come in billows and waves, of how enamored Jin was with the way your boobs looked at that time. Even under the dingy lighting, in the cramped space, under heavily inebriated scrutiny, you couldn’t miss the flicker of heat in his gaze every time it passed your chest. 

One thing led to another, and it was a cascade none of you could stop. The heat of attraction between you two does not help your wandering mind, and the fever drowns the knowledge that what you’re feeling is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, crossing some lines that can never be mended back again. With the proximity, his musky scent invades whatever defenses you were trying to patch, piercing through all your inhibitions and you pull him into you, claiming his lips to be yours. 

With his wobbly knees and your wobbly heels, you somehow find your way to the washroom - mostly he does, you give in halfway to wrap your legs around his lean waist, his sturdy legs balancing your weight on them as your back hits the wall, and his lips tear down your walls. 

“You look so fucking sexy today,” between bated breaths and indulgent sighs you confess, “just driving me nuts.” Letting your hands drag along his abdomen, feeling the ups and downs of his abs, you attempt to rid him of the sweater that’s been on your hit list all night. But to your dismay, your endeavor is blocked, when Jin gathers your wrists in his palm, turning you around to bend you over on the countertop, the smooth marble chill hitting your braless chest, perking your nipples under the cold. 

“And you?” Jin bends to give your earlobe a languid lick, progressing very slow, a complete contrast to the movement of his hips as he ruts against your ass, your already short dress bunching up with every move. “You think it’s smart to have your tits torment me like this?” Grabbing a handful from behind, he tests the weight of each fleshy mound, and by now you are certain your perked nubs can pierce his palm. 

His free hand, not yet torturing you, decides to get in on the action and disappears under the counter, swiftly crossing the bunched fabric of your dress, gaining easy access to your pussy. The cold touch of his pads sears against the heat of your core, finding your pleasure button and languidly fiddling with it, with no intention to cross you over the brink in sight. The only pleasure you can indulge in is the reflection of him abusing your nipples, pinching and tugging them down, whispering filthy words into your ear as he takes in your fucked out countenance. 

You feel lacking, weak hands balancing your dizzy self, finding purchase to keep you upright - but you’re both drunk on alcohol and hypnotized by his beauty to do much more than stare at his mirrored counterpart. “For fuck’s sake, kiss me.” 

How he understood your slurred words, you don’t know, but you are glad he did. In a moment you’ve been displaced, the hurried motion sending your neurons into a flurry. Once your back meets the hard marble, and your eyes have the privilege to see his, you pull him in closer, the force enough to hold you against the wall while your legs wrap around his lean waist. 

Originally not a fan of drunken misadventures, that side of yours is strangely mute to the going current onslaught. Well, you don’t have much breath left to say anything, because Jin is efficiently stealing it all, his teeth clashing with yours as you engage in the messiest kiss ever known to mankind (or at least, to you). He changes pace often, dragging his tongue leisurely against your lower lip, conveying tacit words, just to switch it up with a sharp bite and reel you in. 

One corner of your senses can feel his fingers messing around your cunt, and playing with the wetness your thong can barely contain. It makes you shudder, the damage that his fingers can cause solely circling around your hole. 

“Fuck me.” 

In your drunken stupor, you don’t know if the words leave you right, but you get confirmation when his long fingers finally penetrate your cunt, giving your walls something to clench on - although nothing could possibly compare to what you imagine you can get from his dick.

“God, you feel that grip,” he grunts, with two of his fingers in you, and Jin’s smile is the most sinister you’ve ever seen. “I think we should take this home,” is what his lips utter, but his fingers delve deeper, searching for the spot that crumbles you. The base of his palm grinds against your throbbing clit, and you are forced to bite down on this sweater, lest an embarrassingly loud moan escapes you and cues outsiders into your filthy doings. 

“Now,” you half-hiss, half-growl as you grab the cusp of his legs to feel his half-hard erection grow under the pressure of your hand. Your palm sliters up just to go down again, this time without the blockade of his pants, but you are stopped short of success when Jin’s fingers slip out of you to give you a sharp swat. 

“Stubborn, aren’t we? Can’t fucking wait,” he whispers into your ear, and as he envelops your lobe with his cushiony lips, he continues, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

No, no, no. 

Your brain rejects logic, chews and spits it out before any of the rationale seeps into you. You have wanted this for far too long. The need inside you for a meaningful relationship materializes in the form of recklessness, desperately looking for surface-level relief for the moment. A night of sewing sutures to your battle-worn heart, stitches that may come off at the slightest strain - but right now, that will do. 

“Please, Jin,” your tantalizing tone riles up his cock again, eagerly waiting for your next words, “can’t you feel me dripping? Come on, I can take you.”

“Fuck, hear that wetness.” He lets his palm slap against your sopping entrance, not stopping with one. With every slap, droplets of your arousal splash out, the insides of your thighs coated in the sticky sweetness, but your body is an endless reservoir producing plentiful more for Jin to play with. “Have you been sitting with this all this time?”

Two long fingers invade your channel again, leaving you with no response other than a gasp. They scissor incessantly, preparing you for what could be the railing of your lifetime. One curl inside and his fingertips hit the spot he was looking for, making you warp your body to take the pleasure coursing through your veins. His tongue seems to mimic the actions, looping around your earlobe as he sucks it inside, both ends of your body engulfed in all the attention he could provide. 

Your cunt is weeping against the assault of this man’s hands, tears of your cum flowing down your legs with every pump of his arm. You are getting there, the sweet swell of release inching closer and closer.

But something doesn’t feel right.

The tightness in your belly, that is to a point caused by Jin, is harboring other sensations that are not entirely pleasant. Maybe you’re anxious about the happenings. Maybe you haven’t had a good orgasm in a while and have just forgotten how this thing works.

Or maybe, the bar should have the water tap actually give out water.

Either your eyes close, or your brain does, but suddenly all you can see is darkness.

 Again, you are just trying to escape the zone.

“Step under those studio lights,” pointing at the too-bright stage lights being set up at the moment, Sanghoon continues, breaking your daydream, “I bet you could signal to aliens with the booby-reflection. Call them to Netflix and chill.”

“In about five seconds, my heel will be puncturing your eye. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” 

Sanghoon’s drivel was cut short, and so were your murder plans, with his entry. “Oh look, he’s on set. Gotta go!” 

It’s like the lights, earlier threatening to burn away your skin, dim down in reverence of the glow of his face. The twinkle of his eyes when they meet yours. The shine of his smile when he throws you one. The vibrance of his tone when he calls out your name. Everything he does now threatens to burn you whole and it’s a wonder you’re not scalding, but the singe hurts you deep inside.

“Y/N! How do I look?” It’s a bathrobe. Like satin, or silk. Fucking hell, your brain could explode with the adjectives coming up, a whole chunk of them very much inappropriate to utter out in the current scene. Your arms want to rise, engulf him into you, and you have to physically halt the muscles from doing anything stupid. Brain, quick! Say something snarky and spicy, as best friends do!

“What’s the theme, unicorn puke?” The safest way to deflect is to attack. So you do just that. “You look like you dressed out of Hannah Montana’s closet. Which if it's true, I really need to see it. There’s a top that I’ve been eyeing for decades!”

“Don’t say decades.” Jin’s eyes crinkle in humor. “Makes me feel so old. Your dress is pretty cool too!” 

Cool.

You find out how difficult life can be when you count every single minute of yours. So far, you have counted 4,310 minutes. That is two days, twenty-three hours, and fifty minutes. Ten more minutes and it will be three whole days since you and Jin spoke. 

Yet again, you can’t blame him. When you came to the next day, you were in your bed, clad in the same shimmering silver bodycon that you had donned last night. The same one that had been privy to the colorful deeds you had committed in what was a dreary, colorless setting. 

One ibuProfen and ginger ale, downed with some severe recollections of the previous night, and you had been ready to throw it all up again. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

Words couldn’t describe what you were going through, and numbers weren’t invented to count the endless thoughts racing in your brain. You don’t know what is more upsetting. The fact that you actually had a chance to open your heart and you totally let your pussy think instead? Or that he was the one coherent enough to stop you from getting too far, and you let your desperation get the best of you? Everything about that night was wrong. And all the wrongs lie on your side. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

In the moment, it was physical, he had to have meant that. But there was a tremor in his voice, you can remember clear as day, a slightly shaken side of him had emerged through the intoxication, and the words he had breathed were not shallow. There was a gravity to them, that you’d stupidly ignored in the heat of the moment.

And now, here you are. Counting up till the last minute, after which you can effectively call the friendship ruined. Stirring your tea mindlessly, you try to focus on the show on TV, the variety show comedy not striking the usual funny bones that they could 4,311 minutes ago. 

The programmed ding of your phone bursts your thought bubble, a sound you have missed the past 72 hours. The ring you dedicated to Jin, that always had you running to receive because anything he sends brightens your day. But unlike those happier times, this ring has your gut fall into a pit of despair, struggling to choose between dispersing the suspense or remaining blissfully unaware of the damage you caused.

Jin: Free tmrw? We could grab coffee Jin: And talk

Talk. How? You barely remember what went down, save for fleeting moments that you recollected with great difficulty. Your fingers type back, trying to mimic the nonchalance in his text, that is very much absent in your actual demeanor.

Y/N: Sure. Paik’s at 1? Jin: Yup. See ya

Three texts, zero laughs. Of course, you’re not expecting him to land his jokes in this situation, even someone as talented as he can’t flip this tension. You’re just going to have to wait for tomorrow, when he decides whether you have a place in his life or not. 

The painstakingly worn outfit, accessorizing the whole look, the straps of your heels digging into your toes, the specks of makeup dust lying stale on your collar bones, the shine faints at that word. Cool. A perfectly normal phrase for a normal friendship. You are left maimed, while he absent-mindedly tends to the rope of his robe, blissfully unaware of the cyclonic emotions churning inside you. All you can possibly do is gulp it down. 

He runs his hands through his hair, beautiful locks coming out of place, and from one corner of the set, a groan of anguish emerges. 

“Oppa! Don’t play with your hair and face.” A masked lady runs forward waving combs that look like artillery, “We just got done setting it!”

Some finger guns, a happy apology, and some silly jokes later, all the stylists merrily round up to undo his doing, and Jin signals to you to catch up later. And as he walks away, the strings tugging at your heart reappear, as they do every time you come to meet him.

You have a masochistic streak in you, putting yourself through this every day, when he had made it clear, that you two never stood a chance. 

As if things aren’t already difficult, he looks like a dream. 

Soft, snowy skin gleaming like it has personal lighting wherever it goes, you get flashes of the rarely witnessed sweat on his skin, from the ferocity of last night. He’s blowing away the foam of his cappuccino, and tiny bubbles float into the air before falling flat on the table, like an animated shine that follows him along. God has His favorites, and God makes sure all the lighting in the world is perfect for these favorites. 

In no hurry, you wait at the counter to get your latte. After receiving it though, you can’t linger any longer and drag yourself to the table of doom.

“Hey.”

If the rasp in your voice is evident, he doesn’t show any recognition on his face. But you’ve learned to never trust an acting major. 

“Hi. How are you doing?”

Inadvertently, a snicker escapes your lips. “Are you interviewing me for a job?” you joke, trying to disperse the heavy air, filled with unspoken words. “If so, at least know that I’m very expensive.”

The familiar windshield wiper laugh does not greet you. Dead silence does. The half-smirk he painfully gives you is heavy, and the furrowed brows haven’t an inkling of joy. It shoots daggers in your heart, to know that you are the reason for this jolly man’s despondency. 

“Listen, I don’t think we should skirt around the issue too much. It happened, these things happen. You think Hoseok and Yeji didn’t have sex before making it official?”

His matter-of-fact nature isn’t new to you. Jin has always been a very practical man. Regardless of his inane sense of humor, his logical point of view has always been flawless. 

But right now, at this very moment, logic isn’t what you are looking for. You are looking for answers, but as far withdrawn from logic as possible, to take the edge off of the tension-laden air that surrounds your table.

“Yeah, but even… unofficially… we aren’t a thing, right?” 

Your abrupt question takes Jin unaware, almond eyes widening, like a toddler caught in an act. 

“No, no! Of course not! I would never!” 

His confession slips out with an ease that hurts you, digs deep to carve out the part of you that dreamt of anything more. Your eyes fall to your knees to avoid his perceptive gaze, the sting clear as the sky on a summer day. 

You force a smile and continue. “Then there’s no issue. Anyway,” you gulp your coffee down, burning your throat, but it's a distraction from the burning inside, “I need to get to work. Anything else?”

He’s still searching you, for what, you can’t possibly fathom. From the looks of it, he should be happy with this homeostasis; he doesn’t even know what this means for you. To still stay suspended in limbo, not being able to move up or down, to continue having thorns digging into your beating soul as you watch him like nothing bothers your already frail feelings. Scene by scene, you can visualize the future, him distancing himself from you as he finds the one he calls his, with you left in the shadows. Your knees tremble in fear of the impending future.

Seeing you in a tizzy, he calls out, the voice too loud for the cafe and your mind’s prison cage. 

“We’re still best friends, right?” If you knew better, you’d say his expression is that of sadness, of regret. But your judgment is clouded with your own bothers, and you interpret it as a look of pity. Like a lovesick puppy, kicked to the streets, with nowhere to call home. 

“Yeah! Always.” You give it as much enthusiasm as you can muster. 

Best friends.

Ropes wind around your heart, tugging and causing the deep ache that sets in as you walk back into your dreary building. Each string pulls you into a different dimension where you could move on, where you could be okay with the setting you had just agreed to. Where you would keep up your end of the promise and truly remain friends with him.

But no matter how strong the tug, your heart never yields, never lets go of the castle of dreams you built, staying steadfast in its own misery, choosing to hope, choosing to live the life of unrequited love.

“And that’s a wrap! Good job everyone!”

Applause and hurrays echo across the set to bring you back to the present. The shoot has officially concluded, which means it's time for your most favorite and least favorite part of the day - Jin and you doing best friend things, like grabbing lunch, gossiping about obnoxious coworkers, threatening to disembowel each other (in Mortal Kombat, of course) and other friendly activities. 

Ever so respectful, Jin takes his time thanking every member of the set, regardless of whether they moved a cushion or held the reflector screen for hours. All the women gush over his beauty, reminding him of how, even amidst the glowing ornaments, his face was the brightest. His responses vary, from quiet little giggles, to complimenting the crew for making it happen, to straight up owning his charisma like a boss. That’s your man. 

Well, not quite. Not one bit.

After exhausting the handshakes and hugs to be received, Jin walks to you, hands pushing his robe back to give it a cape like effect. You’re just glad that the man’s child persona still stays with him, no matter the situation.  He guides you to his green room, cracking his bones on the way, (very sexily, might you add).

“Holding a pose for that long gives me cramps! You’d think dancing breaks my back, and you’d be wrong.”

You’re desperately avoiding looking at his fingers, and keep your eyes below them - shoot! His ceaseless stretching gives you a glimpse under his shirt - it is dragging your memories back to the last time you saw them, and you’d rather not. It is hurting you in more ways than one. 

Eye contact is your safest bet. Looking up, you give him a lopsided grin. “Your grandfatherly days are approaching, Jinnie.” 

“Hey!” 

The rest of the conversation was less speaking, more yelling and chasing after each other to the green room, Jin taking mock-offence at your jab at his age, and his fingers reaching out to flick your forehead in retort. In your noisy, messy fashion, you both finally enter the room, dim gold light bulbs and shiny mirrors meeting your huffing self. 

One hand on your knee, you hold on to Jin’s arm with your other, gasping for breath. 

“Your grandmotherly days are already here, Y/N,” he snorts, and earns a kick on the shin, but that doesn’t stop him from bursting into snickers.

“Wow, why does one man need 4 mirrors?” You gape at his current green room, mouth wide open. It looks better than your entire apartment, with the counter carrying top-of-the-line makeup products. Only the best for this man. “So you can admire yourself from 4 different angles?”

Jin has disappeared into one of the inner rooms, but you can hear him snort at your comment. “Come on, I’m not that conceited. When the whole crew shoots together, the extra mirrors help.” The last part of that sentence is muffled, and that cues you into an important fact. 

Jin is currently changing into something more comfortable.

A process that includes him getting naked.

Well maybe he doesn’t get fully naked, top on, top off, bottom on, bottom of-

Still. You’re sweating like a whore in church. 

And things only get tougher when he finally comes out. 

The ocean blue sweater he dons is tucked in. Who tucks in sweaters? Kim Seokjin. Why does he tuck sweaters? Oh, because he’s got an amazing waistline that he should most definitely show off, and the heat between your thighs becoming increasingly potent is a testament to that. You pretend to adjust your heels, giving the right expressions to show you’re in pain, but in actuality you are bringing your legs closer to get you some relief, just any relief. 

Ripped jeans too. You get a peek of the thighs you were denied access to the night of the fuckening. Ridged and beautiful, not a speck in sight to mar his perfection. You are glad the facial expressions for pain and pleasure are not far apart, because your thighs, albeit very lacking, are helping the imagery in your head. Just Jin, seated on one of these leather chairs, and you straddling his thigh, clit aching against the strands of the rips in his denim, the fabric soaking up the wetness, with every push forwa-

“Now that you mention it, I do look dashing.”

And there goes that dream. 

You pinch his cheeks in adoration, the vulgarity of your thoughts getting whitewashed by his silliness and blooming heart-shaped flowers in their stance. You feel your own pinch in you, wondering if this scene would be the same had you blurted your feelings out that day at the cafe.

It's times like these when you remind yourself why you choose to quieten that side. This dynamic cannot reincarnate in any other form. Any imbalance to this equilibrium could cause a serious case of best-friends-turn-awkward-acquaintances, and you don’t know if that’ll hurt you more than you currently do. You don’t plan on finding out.

But on God, he tests that resolution every single day.

Jin doesn’t even hint that he knows of the turmoil blasting behind your eyes. He nonchalantly fixes his hair, gives you a one-over as you are mentally undressing him, nonchalantly as well. Then he moves to grab his cologne, and two spurts disintegrates all the whitewashing and takes you back into the obscenities you were unfolding. 

“So I’ll just go over the shoot photos, and then we can leave! You’re cool waiting here?”

“Hmmn, yeah!” You don’t let your mouth run any longer, fearing what might slip out. 

He gives you a wide, innocent smile. “Great! See you in a bit.” Poor guy. If only he knew how debase plans you were conjuring just from the aroma of his cologne. 

It is musky, like cedar or pine, perfectly suiting him. It is the same scent you remember inhaling, face stuffed in his sweater when he was fingering you to the tenth circle of hell. As he walks away, the fragrance diminishes, save for the slightest hint of lingering. You search for the source, and find the culprit strewn across the sofa.

The outfit Jin wore for the shoot held remnants of the perfume, and when you bring the shirt close and take a long, deep whiff, you transport yourself to the land of your dreams. You relish the fever smell of his cologne, mixed with his own natural scent, deciding that this is what you wish to smell like every waking morning.

Your longing for him has crossed way beyond physical boundaries. You longed for his love, longed for his attention. Longed to be the one that brings the light to his face. From morning rays to the darkness of the night, you wanted to experience it all by his side. To be his lone star, shining bright beside the moon. 

Your hands are moving without your control, disrobing you of your thirst trap of a dress and putting on Jin’s shirt instead. One look at the mirror and you let out a silent groan - it fits you just right. Just enough to cover your ass cheeks, loose enough to let the air conditioning hit your heated pussy. While well-fitting shirts have never been the cornerstone of a successful relationship, your delusional mind takes whatever wins it gets.

Adding layers to your pipe dream, you don the robe that gave you a tough time throughout the shoot. When you press the tails of the robe to your cheek, the softness of the material is soothing. Soft, like Jin’s eyes, like his hugs, like his smile. Like him.

Leaning against the counter, you steady yourself, mind split in titillation. Your fingers find their own path, drawing circles on your breasts over his shirt, imagining Jin’s long fingers in place. While teasing your nipple to pointed peaks, you slip your other hand under your panties, trying very hard to mimic his digits, twiddling your clit between your fingers. Alas, the effect isn’t achievable, because Jin seems to know how to play you better than yourself. 

The scent is getting stronger, without any provoking, and it is doing wonders for your immersion. You let out a loud moan when your fingers press inside, and you’re just glad no one can witness this.

“Y-Y/N?”

Fuck.

You are pulled away from your dreamland that was so impenetrable that you didn’t hear Jin step into the room. All the blood gushing to your nether regions has made a U-turn to flood your brain to think of a plausible explanation for this position. Instead it makes you giddy, and when you try to stand you wobble in your heels, to be rescued by what you think is a very scandalized Jin. 

Time stands still when your eyes meet, and what you see are blown out pupils trembling, many questions fluttering between you two. Jin crosses a tenth of the distance between you, lips flutter as they try to make a decision - do they want to part and give way to the voice of question? The voice of reason? The voice that will break this hush, burst this bubble where he has the one chance to give in to his longing?

You bring your lips closer, and cause immense disquiet in his dome, the way of his heart gathering speed against rationale. Your eyes dance between matching his gaze and finding his lips, every fraction of an inch you cross sending tremors through you. You can feel the shockwaves traverse through your body, making a pitstop at your lips, tingling them awake. They move downwards, passing your heart, beating it wildly against its cage, and then to the pit of your stomach to tighten in anticipation; finally reaching the tip of your toes, where you stand right now, a nanoscopic distance between you. Each one of you is afraid to cross the bridge, unaware of the other’s desires. 

Finally, Jin acqueises and meets you on your side. 

Atomic explosions ring through your head, clearing out every single thought that is not about Jin’s lips on yours. The ropes that held your heart from beating to the tune of your want, they’ve loosened their knots to give you the leeway to love freely. As your lips exchange positions, his teeth lightly drag across your plush petal, and it brings back the most important part of that night that you couldn’t recollect - the one where his lips sang wordless songs of adoration against yours. Blind as a bat, you were.

You dig your fingers into his hair, not minding your residual arousal coating his locks, and you feel his hands doing the same to you. With your eyes closed, you feel a rough edge to his cushiony soft lips, but Jin fixes that mistake - one stray strand of hair trapped in the middle of your indulgence - he pulls it away to give you all of the kiss. The hand tucked in your tresses pushes in, silently demanding more access, and you’re nothing but ready to give it.  

His tongue sneaks in to play a game with yours - when you seek it, it goes into hiding, finding perfect pleasure in soft, sweet kisses, but when you stay, it comes back in, awakening your tongue to deepen again. Everything he is doing is too much and not enough in one go, and you whine into his mouth in desperation, seeking some well-earned relief after months of holding back.

Amidst the flurry of your lips, your back hits the vanity countertop, and Jin pushes away everything on top to make space for you, not caring what expensive item flies down the counter to accommodate your ass.

As if you’ve made up for the months of holding back, the softness of the kisses erodes, teeth coming into play more and more, reminiscent of the night that went by in a blur. He swallows every mewl you give in return, blissed out beyond repair, your neediness making his cock strain against the denim. 

His hand snakes down, spreading his fingers to get a hold of your back to push you towards him, covering any gap that dared to intervene. Now unworried about the shoot, your hands have effectively ruined his perfectly placed locks and messed them up to resemble the craze he let you spin in.

Before he can glide his tongue back in, you break the kiss, lest you lose yourself in it to the point where you forget to breathe. With attached foreheads, you take deep drags of air, letting the oxygen flow to your brain before you make some ill-advised, unclarified decisions.

“I- I was jus-”

“Shhh. Wait,” he breathes out, wanting to take a second and fully savor the moment. You nod in return, making his head move along with yours.

After sufficient air fills his lungs, Jin starts. “Y/N, we should stop.”

Last time this had happened, you had tried to force your way through his barrier, without giving his feelings a second of consideration. So this time, you don’t repeat your mistakes. “Tell me why.”

“Because, I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I’m way deeper in this than you think.”

“Jin, I-”

“Let me finish.” He stops you before you can explain how much you reflect his emotions, possibly more. He doesn’t seem to want to listen now. “Let me finish, or else I’ll chicken out, for the millionth time.”

You’re dumbfounded. Millionth time? When was the first? Acting majors, by God. 

“I love you, Y/N.”

No, now you are dumbfounded. Your hands, holding his precious locks, drop down in shock, at sheer disbelief that all this time, he has been ready and waiting to return you the favor. Jin though, misinterprets it as a look of disdain. 

“I-I know I do, and I’m sorry that I do. I know you don’t feel the same way. You can hate me all you want, but this is the truth.”

“And yes,” he continues, refusing to halt for even half a second, afraid that the courage he mustered to confess would dissipate the moment he does, “I’m attracted to you, and I don’t know what went down here --” flicking his wrist to mention your (his) outfit, “--but I’m looking, okay? And I’m hard as fuck. But that’s not all there is to it.”

“I need all of you.” He takes an audible gulp, trying to stymy his emotions from overpowering him. “I want to take you out, I want to hold you hand, I want to bring you to all the places I love. I want to introduce you to people, not as my best friend, but so much more than that. It hurts me,” bringing his hand to his chest, he emphasizes the point of pain by clutching over his heart, “hurts to call you that because I’m lying through my fucking teeth.”

You break eye contact, because there are tears smarting your eyes at his heartfelt revelation. You can’t believe the idiot that you have been all this while. The man of your dreams stands in front of you, baring his soul, and you can’t even do him the decency of telling him what you felt yourself before jumping his bones.

And you love him, too. Maybe you haven’t said so, even to yourself, but you’ve known all this while.

You love him.

“If you are just looking for a fuck, or want any sort of a ‘benefits’ situation, we should stop. I can’t lie to myself anymore.”

“Jin, my God,” you half-sigh, half-laugh, feeling a burden lift off of you after months of pining.

“You don’t have to pacify me, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” Even in this moment, he is looking out for you. His lips are curved upward to show you that he’s okay, but his pupils are shaky and restless, not in sync with his smile. You hope your next words can fix that for him.

“Pacify you? Hate you?” You shoot him an incredulous look, one you will explain to him very soon. “You are a much better person than I am, Jinnie. For months now, I’ve loved you, but even at this point, I didn’t stop to tell you.” The guilt of letting your hormones cloud your judgement for the second time lays heavily on your conscience. “I’m sorry for not making this clear earlier, but let me now. I love you, Kim Seokjin. I have for way too long. I want you, I need you. You have me, in every possible way.”

It feels unparalleled to get that off your chest. The leaden weight of your emotions immediately disappears - or the fact that it's shared, makes it much, much lighter. But then you look at Jin, and he still seems to have not put two and two together. You patiently wait for him to process all the information. 

When he finally recoups, he yells, “What?!”

You let out a loud guffaw, the first one with no inhibitions in the longest time. “What?”

“Why didn’t you say anything that day at the cafe?!” 

“You said you’d never date me, asshole!” You punch his chest softly, before slipping your hands behind him and pulling him closer. “I might not look like it, but I have some dignity.”

“I said that?” Jin brings one hand to pinch his nose in annoyance. “What an idiot. I think I was just inverting everything to make sure I don’t accidentally slip up.”

You lift your head to meet his eyes again, letting him see the tears you were hiding. You find a couple in his eyes, too. But the smile on your face is genuine, and that is all that matters. “I was blind too, so don’t beat yourself up about it.” 

Flitting your eyes down to find the contour of his cock against his jeans, you ask him innocently, “How about we make up for lost time?”

“Fuck, yes, please.” And with that, your lips are engulfed again.

When you have all your guards down, the kiss tastes sweeter than before. Mere moments ago, while thoroughly enjoying the kiss, a sense of reticence had clouded your pleasure, holding you back from luxuriating in the headiness. A series of what-ifs had plagued your subconscious without your realization, but with all that cleared, you wholly submit to the kiss, emptying your mind until nothing but his name remains.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Jin gasps out, when you bite into his pillowy lower lip, “I thought you looked the prettiest in the dress earlier but,” after pulling away, he drinks your current attire in, “you look the most beautiful in this.”

You snicker. “Even more than World Wide Handsome?”

His eyes bore into yours, no hint of the joking lilt he always carries in them. 

“So much more.”

Your hands find their place amidst his shaggy hair again, and you lodge his face into your neck - a command Jin acquiesces to with great pleasure. After a long, wet lick to your collarbone, he lays feather-soft kisses on the trail he left, starting from your shoulder and working inward, until he brushes against the back of your ear. You grasp at his sweater, because his lips feel so good. Your breaths are short, sucking in every time he allows your skin the luxury of a soft peck.  Once he lays a kiss on your forehead, he brings his gaze down to one of the main reasons that causes his cock to stir.

“Fuck, look at your nipples under my shirt.”

Gazing down, you can see the two pointed peaks that caught Jin’s eyes. 

“That tends to happen when I’m thinking of you.” 

He twists a nipple over the shirt, hardening it further, and you throw your head back in the satisfying pain. “Yeah, I remember.”

You are unraveling every second, the ache swishing amongst the bliss his fingers are bringing in you. He’s switched over to drawing circles around your nipple, until he snaps and tugs your shirt up, finally revealing the palmfulls of flesh awaiting his hands. 

“Ah that night, I didn’t get to do this. Take this off.” But then, he makes you put on his robe again. You throw him a questioning look, to which he responds with a sheepish smile, “Just so, you know… you don’t feel cold… or something.”

“Just say you like me in your clothes and move on.”

“I love you in my clothes,” he admits in a heartbeat, his expression that of anguish, “can we move on?”

“God, gladly.”

Unexpectedly, he bites the side of your boob - not hard at all, but feeling his teeth against your skin sends your head reeling backward. Your involuntary response is to wrap your legs around his waist, grinding your core against him. His teeth continue to nip you lightly across the expanse of your breasts, the trail of saliva he leaves cooling parts of your flushed body. Finally, finally, he latches onto your left nipple and gives it a long, pleasurable suck.

“Ahh, Jin - you’re too - God damn it - you’re too good at this.” 

Without stopping the onslaught he is unleashing on your breasts, his fingers begin to move - but soon, they stop, hesitation rippling off of their tips. His pace falters, and his mind is fighting on the next course of action.

“Can I-”

“Finish what you started that night?” you complete for him, already prepared with your answer. “Yes, please.”

All forms of uncertainty shoot out of his touch, and he confidently trudges forward. Playing with the band of your panties, he gives you a well-intended chuckle, murmuring, “As far as I remember, I was so good you passed out.”

“Boy,” You groan, intended in jest, but his teeth slide against your jaw and it mostly comes out more wanton than jovial, “let me see you have tequila for dinner and remember much the next day.”

“Fair fair,” he gives in, shifting to buss the valley of your cleavage, feeling your heart thud against your ribs holding it in place. “Well today,” he starts without moving his face, his nimble fingers moving past the barrier of your underwear, pressing two fingertips directly on your clit, and hissing like it's him at the receiving end, “I’ll give you enough to remember.”

You pull his sweater off and chuck it away, not wanting to be reminded of any blockades that kept you apart, and your hands roam the expanse of his back remembering the touch of his skin from the night at the bar. His body isn’t new to you, but the circumstances make it feel different. 

Finally, his fingers find their way inside you. 

Yes, this. This was what was missing from your drunken tryst. With your heads in place, your ardor intensifies, and you move his lips back to yours needing to release your animalistic desire into his mouth. Pleasure surges through both of you as you threaten to swallow him whole.

You can feel him being more present, and considering the merciless finger-fucking you had earned that night, this is taking it to a whole other degree. 

The night at the bar, his fingers did their best to ravish you, but now, Jin is paying attention, close attention to the way you respond. Every muscle movement is recorded in him as you struggle to accommodate three of his lengthy digits. Leaning close, he gives your peaked nipple the lightest feather lick - the suddenness sends shockwaves through you as he continues to tweeze the other, talented pianist hands performing his musical piece on both ends of you.

His fingers pump into you with determination, finding new depths to explore that he missed out on, and with a curl of his pointer, you blank out, screaming in the orgasm that is washing over you. Every skincell of your body feels the quiver of lust spreading, your cunt squeezing for an eternity, milking the orgasm out to the extent that you can. 

When you look down, your metaphorical orgasmic flood manifestes as a deluge of your arousal leaking on the table. And when you look back up, you can see the salacious ideas making their rounds in Jin’s head as he looks at the inundation you released. 

Hurried hands still convulsing from the intensity of your orgasm, you undo his belt, followed by his jeans and finally - getting the pleasure you were heartlessly denied of - his cock is out, in all its glory, twitching as the cool air hits its naked skin. Jin’s plans don’t go hand in hand with yours though.

“Are we just - holy fucking shit - just, umm, leave that to waste?” he lustfully looks down to your leaking core, and someway, through your hold on his dick, he tries to steer you into his plans.

“I don’t know about that,” you cheekily reply. You have the right idea to satisfy both of you, and get down to the task.

With the flat of your palm, you swipe across the droplets of cum you released, gathering them to transfer them onto his thick length. Jin thrusts into your hand, the wetness jolting him into attention, and he places an arm on your shoulder to steady himself. 

“You’re going to taste yourself?” he asks as you continue your vacillating motion, twisting at the base of his head with the wetness you graciously provided yourself. You give him a nonchalant look, something he is trying to do to you as well. 

“Who said I’m gonna suck you off?”

His look changes, and the one you get in return is cocky, arrogant, downright rude if you were honest. You expected him to play on with your banter, but one raised eyebrow and the lazy smirk he gives, to what he probably thinks is a joke - Zeus could land on earth and not be able to stop you from gobbling his meat. 

Your mouth is filled with his dick even before your knees hit the ground. Jin staggers back, but your suction on his dick is funnily strong enough to pull him back before falling.  You switch positions, having him balance himself against the counter, all while you refuse to leave his cock out. His giggle of endearment has you pouting, but it swells your heart and makes you want to give more, more of anything and everything. With your renewed vigor, you push yourself in until his pubes tickle your nose, and his tip tickles your throat. 

“Your-”, “I-”, “uhh-” 

Every new sentence Jin starts crumbles to your actions. You furrow your brows both in concentration on your blowing skills and trying to decode what he is trying to say. 

Jin takes a large gulp, adamant on making this one a coherent sentence. “You know, I used to imagine this, and in my dreams I used to be very sexy and suave, talking my way throug-oof-” You run your tongue over the tip of his leaking dick, emphasizing the point he is coming to, “Now I can’t even complete sentences here.”

“You being you is super sexy in itself.” And you curve your tongue to match the arch of his cock, letting the incoming saliva pool on it before letting it run down his shaft, dripping down from his balls. Strings of his precum connect to your lips, and you swipe your tongue through them, relishing the salty goodness before going back in for more. 

“Y/N, shit, did you just moan?”

How couldn’t you? The fact that he is horny for you, so much so that rivulets of precum don’t stop drizzling down your throat, has you preening. You hum your assent in response, not willing to let go even for a moment, but Jin pulls you off before you can get a chokehold on the base of his cock again. 

“Never had a woman moan while sucking me off. It’s sexy as fuck,” Jin breathes into your lips as he dives in for a kiss.

Your chest is heaving, catching the breaths you lost when you were down. “Then why’d you stop me?”

“Are you kidding me? I was about to lose it right there.”

“Jinnie, come on,” you break the fragmentary kiss you were sharing, looking into his glassy eyes, “let me feel you come on my tongue.” To emphasize your conviction, you lick his lips, persuading him of the sinful deeds your tongue is capable of doing if he’d just let you.

“Oh man, stop. What’s worse than busting a nut in your mouth? Busting it while you’re kissing me. Making me feel like a teenager.” You erupt into a loud laugh, soon followed by Jin as well. It is so him to joke about this. 

“And babe,” all hints of embarrassment vanishing from his tone, “I’m only going to come inside you.”

“Fuck, fuck, yes. You got a condom on you?”

“Yeah, let me grab my wallet.” The instant he moves away, you feel naked, shivering from the comfort stolen away from you. But then you hear Jin grumble, “I hope I don’t have the bacon-flavored one.” And the absurdity of it all puts you at ease again.

“Ew, stop, even you can’t make that sexy. My lady boner is dying.”

He envelops you again, and you can feel the laughter echoing in his lungs before making it out to your ears. He brings your attention to the familiar rustle of foil wrapper. “Thankfully, we got chocolate.”

“Mmmh, gotta love chocolate.”

You take the condom out of his hands, and roll it onto his stiff length, flattered that he’s holding his erection for so long. 

“Okay, stick it in me!” And you smack your ass in readiness, and a very flabbergasted Jin breaks out chortling.

“Y/N, stop being my best friend for like, five minutes!” His brows are furrowed in pretense exasperation, but you can see his lips holding back a genuine smile through the grimace, just happy that your dynamics haven’t changed the slightest, even though everything else has shifted.

“Okay okay,” you try and suppress your own laughter, before continuing, “how do you want me, baby?”

“Bend over on the vanity. And keep your eyes on the mirror.” And as you move into position, his palms grab your ass and squeeze it hard, feeling your glutes push back against his grip, and he pushes you forward till you're on the tips of your toes. You watch him through the mirror, watch him admire the way your ass curves over the table edge, how your toes struggle to keep you up, and how the dimples of your back are deepened by the arch, peeking under the bunched up robe tails, just waiting for him.

“Jin.” Your hushed whisper puts him in action.

Pushing the head in is anguish and relief at the same time. His bulbous head stretches your entrance; even with your preparation, you feel it sting. The searing gets better and better with every inch slipping in, and when he finally lodges inside, you let out a heavy breath, still panting and keeping yourself from screaming bloody murder in pleasure. Jin bends forward to paint the back of your neck, sucking the flesh till the circular bruise comes to surface. 

“Can you- can you-fuck, no, wait-” Your brain is at war with itself, battling between adjusting to his girth and having him pump you into adjustment. 

You can feel Jin’s snicker from behind you, and he finally makes the decision for you. “I’ll wait, I have things to do here,” he says before playing around the patch of skin, spreading from the base of your hair to the expanse of your back, his teasing licks relaxing your walls and accommodating his girth. The pain is almost gone, expect for the lingering ache that only helps you.

“You can move now, babe.”

“Okay, okay.” Your words snap him out of the painter’s dream he was in, and he twitches inside you. Something about the ease at which you both have adopted nicknames for each other softens his heart and hardens his cock. 

Pulling out till only the head rests inside, Jin himself struggles against the third degree grip your pussy has on him. As he is thrusting inside again, your walls tense up, making it harder and harder for him to hold back. 

“Y/N, sweetie, relax. I got you.”

“Jin, I’m-” You have tears running down your eyes, the pleasure and unsurmountable happiness rolling out in fat hot drops. “Fuck me harder. I won’t last.”

“Shit. Okay, hold on then.”

To what? Is what you’re going to ask before Jin unleashes his carnality onto you. Your breasts, dripping in sweat and saliva, are plastered to the countertop, which in itself is jiggling to the beat of Jin’s thrusts. His dick is curving inside to hit you repeatedly, and you have to gather the satin fabric to wipe your eyes to keep your gaze fixed on him. 

He looks majestic. Forehead embellished with beads of sweat, his hair coiffed up, lips sanguine red after your vicious kisses - you swipe your tongue along your own lips to find them battered in response. His honey chest is heaving with every push, and a particular one hits you just right. 

You let out a guttural groan, and Jin takes note of it immediately. 

“Up,” he commands, and loops an arm under your belly to you pull you up and closer and now every thrust hits deeper into that spot he has found in you, your back connected to his chest as the two of you move in tandem; this is the most together you’ve ever felt with anyone. This moment is to be etched in your memories forever.

You scream into your fist to muffle the sounds, the edge of the table digging into your hip bone as you feel yourself getting closer to the brink. One swipe to the clit is all you have left to bring you to your release. 

And from some telepathic force, or from the clutch your pussy has on him, Jin beats you to it. His fingers come down and carefully find your swollen nub, pinching it between his fingers. If he thought you’d shown him your hardest clench, he was wrong, because right now your dam has broken, and the iron-clad grip you give his cock sends him reeling, too.

You are gushing on his dick, the rubber dripping with your wetness. Jin too releases into the condom in stuttered gasps, his thrusts becoming shorter and shallower as he comes down from his high. 

Petal-like kisses fall on your back as the two of you regain your breaths. The mirror that served you two well is covered in a fog of hot breath and perspiration, blearing your vision of yourself, but somehow, it sparkles with Jin’s reflection. His nobility-esque visuals use the haze as a valance for his appearance, framing them to make him look like you’re among the clouds. And in some way, you actually are.

“Ah, let me go.” You jiggle your shoulders back to make the man above you move. “Fuck, can you check if my spine is in place? I think you dislodged it.”

“Shut up and come hug me, I’ll squeeze it back in place.”

Now this is something you could get used to.

As he ties and throws away the used condom, you flip over to face him and fall back into his embrace, broad shoulders promising to protect you, making you feel safe in his care. Jin on the other hand is simply ecstatic to feel you on him, feeling your thumping heart beat for him, after months of pining and pondering whether anything would become of the seed of your tumultuous friendship. Now, it has blossomed to a garden of prospect and promise, every petal of every flower here reading a new opportunity to tell you how much he adores you, cherishes you, treasures you. How much he loves you.  An opportunity he doesn’t wait to use. 

“I love you.”

The pink tinge of your cheeks either comes from the sex, or from his comment, but either way, he is glad its from him. 

“I love you too, Jin. So, so very much.”

If your heart could leap out of your chest, it would do so, to find its way to his and fuse into one. But for now, your entwined bodies give you all you want. 

You hear Jin stifle a laugh, and pull back in question. He points to something odd on the countertop.

“What is that?”

The cream white surface of the table, that was maligned by your ignoble deeds, now sports two glistening, wheatish semi circles that look very similar to the sizes of one person who was splayed on top of it just moments ago. 

“Is that…” Jin is trying to contort his lips and halt the looming snicker, and he brings his eyes down to your chest (trying not to get hard again), “Did you have makeup on your chest?”

“Shut up.” All you can do is fall closer into his arms, hopefully masking the tint of embarrassment highlighting the apples of your cheeks. “I wanted to make them look extra good for you.”

He’s given up on holding back, the full-bellied laugh that resonated from him echoing across the room. But it dwindles down fast, coming to small chuckles of tenderness, and he slips his digits beneath your chin to have you meet his gaze.

“They always look good,” he whispers, his admittance setting your chest aflame, “trust me, I’d know.”

Taglist 💛:  @little7bitchh​, @afangirllikeme-blog​, @h34rt1lly, @marpotterhead​

Thank you so much for making it to the end! I hope you enjoyed the fic, my ask box is always open for your lovely opinions. To read more of my work, find my main masterlist here. :)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[oliver-writes-all-about-that]

“A Heart Breaker’s Holiday?” Written by Oliver O.  Mintz

2021 Valentine’s Day project

As we enter another year, our views, and thoughts on events throughout of the coming year has changed based on the impact on what has happened to all of us in the past year, 2020.

 Some of us are having a hard time accepting holidays, as in the past few years, it is normal to hear someone say that they hate a holiday, as example Valentine’s Day is one of the hatred holidays by people who are single.

 What is Valentine’s Day?

Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine, is celebrated annually on February 14. It originated as a minor Western Christian feast day honoring one or two early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine and, through later folk traditions, has become a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance and love in many regions of the world.

 Also, during this time of year, suicide rates increase by 5% out of the reported the highest rate of suicides at 45.1 and 40.5 per 100,000 people respectively, about 4 times higher than national average rate in other countries, in the past year. Along with just America alone, reported 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.

Which is why the most question asked among people when the holiday arrives closer during the year, is “why is Valentine’s day such a bad holiday”, is the question most asked. Many people find the holiday very fun for most people, but we tend to not think deeper about the holiday, how it may affect many other people such as our friends and family and our co-workers we work with. It can be a hard holiday to deal with on a person’s mental space if they are alone or working that day.

~~~~

There is a lot of people in the world that would look at this holiday as negative way, they would sometimes call out of work or sleep the whole day away till the next day, because they dislike and have so much disgust in thought the holiday.

But there is a lot of people who do enjoy the holiday as well, it is not just for couples, it can be for everyone. It can be for your friend down the street, or that neighbor right next to you that never talks to you. We can give love anywhere, to whoever. Which people during the past few years had forgotten, in other words may have not known in the first place.

We asked people from all over Florida, old and young about their thoughts on the holiday, you would be surprise how much of a positive brought back we got from our interviews with these people we are about to share their stories with you.

 We wanted everyone to be honest and as detailed as they possible can be. Explaining their stories with the holiday Valentine’s Day and how they may have enjoyed it and not enjoyed it in their own ways, along with questions on how we can change the views on the holiday itself to other people around us, to not make the holiday have such a negative view to the world.

 First up is Samuel Lazo from small city, Safety Harbor, in Pinellas County, Florida.

We had so many emails come in with written out answers and some interviews we got to speak with the person via zoom meetings, we could not fit everyone who was in the project in one article. We do appreciate the time people gave us to be able to share their thoughts with us.

 Name: Samuel Lazo

Pronouns: He/Him

Relationship status: Single

Age: 17 years old

City, State: Safety Harbor, FL

 Oliver: What is Valentine’s Day to you? Can you explain why people may hate the holiday so much?

 Samuel: “To me, Valentine's Day is a reminder to always show love to those around you! It is so important to show your friends and family that you love and care for them deeply. To others though, Valentine's Day could have a complete opposite meaning. Sometimes it can remind people that they might not have time for love, or they have experienced something on the day that might have changed their opinion. Or it could just mean another boring day for some, who knows.”

 Oliver: What do you think would make Valentine’s better for people? And why?

 Samuel: “In my opinion, I feel that if society weren't constantly making Valentine's to be about significant others, it might change some opinions on some and remind them that the day doesn't have to always be about having to HAVE romantic partners. It should take the role of being a reminder for any type of love, including friendships, family, and self-love!”

 Oliver: What can we do better for this holiday to be more inclusive to so many people single? (Including older people, LGBT+, homeless)

 Samuel: I think it'd be nice if we treated Valentine's how some treat Christmas. We get into the "Christmas Spirit" and give those around us gifts or extra acts of kindness, except with Valentine's we try to feel that love deep within us and understand it is okay to spread that with those around you. You never know who might need it and how it could really affect someone.

 Oliver: What is one thing you can say to change a stranger’s mind that this holiday is not just for couples?

 Samuel: “Reminding a stranger on the street that they are cared for by their loved ones and maybe doing a small act of kindness for them might help them change their opinion about the holiday. Or simply just telling someone "Happy Valentine's!" could help put a smile on their face and remind them that love is all around them, no matter the form! Hey, who knows, it could also help them realize that they want to spread some love around too and do the same for someone else.”

   Name: Gaia Callisto

Pronouns: She/They

Relationship status:

Age: 22

City,State: Brandon, FL

 Oliver: What is Valentine’s Day to you? Can you explain why people may hate the holiday so much?

 Gaia: “I genuinely love Valentine’s day. Partly because I love pink and red and the whole cute and sweet vibes that come with it, but also because it’s a great day to just remember to give back to the people you appreciate in life. One of my favorite things to do as a kid was to hand out Valentine’s Day cards to all of my friends and classmates, and it’s something I still enjoy to this day! Even adults love to receive a little surprise with some candy, and I think it’s a sweet way to show someone that you’re thinking of them and you care about them.

 What is Valentine’s Day to you? Can you explain why people may hate the holiday so much?  To me, valentine’s day is another day to just celebrate the people you love and care for. Along with eating chocolate and giving little favors to people. I think people hate it so much because they only see it as a romantic day and therefore, only celebrate when they’re dating someone, which is bad if they break up because it gives them bad memories.”

 Oliver: What do you think would make Valentine’s better for people? And why?

 Gaia: “I think a less commercialized and more personal holiday would make it more appealing. Or if it was more oriented toward self-love than romantic love, I feel people would appreciate that more. There would be less exclusion of single people as well as aromantic or asexual people if it were more geared toward love in general, especially for yourself and your loved ones. “

 Oliver: What can we do better for this holiday to be more inclusive to so many people single? (Including older people, LGBT+, homeless)

 Gaia: “I think it’s very important to remember aromantic people during valentine’s day, as well as our passed loved ones and people who don’t have the means or the family to celebrate with. Love shouldn’t be confined to just romantic partners, we can help and care for others who we don’t even know yet, too.”

 Oliver: What is one thing you can say to change a stranger’s mind that this holiday is not just for couples?

 Gaia: “ I think that valentine’s day is just another day if you so choose it to be, but why not take the day to celebrate your parents or kids or siblings? Or make it a friend holiday and just treat your friends to things they wouldn’t normally treat themselves to. Valentine’s day is perfect for anyone and everyone in my opinion.”

  Name: Alyssa Marvicsin

Pronouns: She/Her

Relationship Status:

Age: 21

State: FL, USA

 Oliver: What is Valentine’s Day to you? Can you explain why people may hate the holiday so much?

 Alyssa: “I’d have to say something bittersweet as someone who values love fairly highly it feels like a day intent on pitting love against itself. Love comes in many different forms besides just romantic so seeing a day that acts to completely ignore other forms of love makes me feel off. I think others hate the holiday for similar reasons. When only focused on romantic partners or lack thereof it can slip your mind about the love that comes from friends and family as well.”

 Oliver: What do you think would make Valentine’s better for people? And why?

 Alyssa: “I think valentines would be better for people if we took out the pressure to find romantic partners. I've known people who enter pointless relationships with people they can hardly stand to avoid being single on valentine’s day. It just becomes so stressful rushing to find a significant other by a specific date. love shouldn’t have a deadline it should come naturally over time.”

 Oliver: What can we do better for this holiday to be more inclusive to so many people single? (Including older people, LGBT+, homeless)

 Alyssa: “To be more inclusive I think we should be creating more spaces intended for people to get together and mingle other than various bars maybe hosting inclusive events designed to help meet people, make friends, and even find love. Everyone should be presented with opportunities to create bonds with new people no matter your age, wealth, or sexuality.”

 Oliver: What is one thing you can say to change a stranger’s mind that this holiday is not just for couples?

 Alyssa: “I think the best thing to remember is that love comes in many forms and everyone has love from someone even if it's not a romantic partner cherish the love you get and call those you care about most your valentines ♡”

  Name: Shelby De Lorenzo

Pronouns: She/Her

Relationship Status: Taken

Age: 18

State: FL, USA

 Oliver: What is Valentine’s Day to you? Can you explain why people may hate the holiday so much?

 Shelby: “I personally love Valentine's Day. It's just like any other day to me in the sense that I've either been too young or too single to really celebrate in "traditional" couple-y ways, but I've always felt loved by my friends and parents especially on that day. I think a lot of the people that hate Valentine's Day are also valid in their hatred. It might come from a place of hurt, cynicism or just straight up disdain for capitalizing on good deeds.”

 Oliver: What do you think would make Valentine’s better for people? And why?

 Shelby: “Valentine's Day is always branded as super traditional, overly romantic and the aisles at stores smother you in a way. I think it has so much potential to be more aesthetically pleasing, inclusive and would have a far more positive impact if people made it more about knowing or understanding someone than trying to show the world that they love them because of wildly "one size fits all" kinds of expectations.”

 Oliver: What can we do better for this holiday to be more inclusive to so many people single? (Including older people, LGBT+, homeless)

 Shelby: “I like to think that traditions don't always have to be linked to holidays. More people should just be open to being kind as a general practice rather than trying to jam it all into one day. However, to celebrate the actual day inclusively, I think it'd be nice to see LGBT specific cards or potential gifts. Maybe for homeless folks, places could have deals like, for every card purchased, someone can be ensured a hot meal or something to help them get back on their feet. There doesn't always have to be a special occasion to treat someone well, either.”

 Oliver: What is one thing you can say to change a stranger’s mind that this holiday is not just for couples?

 Shelby: “Personally the year that Valentine's Day really stuck out to me was in 2018. I just had probably, the most dramatic break up of my entire high school career. It was blown out of proportions, I had people coming for me at all angles and all that nonsense. And when things quieted down and life went back to normal, my friends who'd been there for me through it all had gotten me things they knew I'd be all about. There was a book about Norse mythology, my favorite kind of candy, a thoughtful note. And I know I was the only person on their gift list or anything but the fact that they thought of me when I wasn't expecting anything really meant a lot to me.”

  Name: Kamryn Donnelly

Relationship Status:

Pronouns: She/They

Age: 18

City, State: Pinellas County, FL USA

 Oliver: What is Valentine’s Day to you? Can you explain why people may hate the holiday so much?

 Kamryn: “Valentine’s Day to me is a day to show appreciation to those you care about. I think a lot of people resent the holiday because it’s typically marketed as a day for romantic lovers, rather than everyone in your life you appreciate. And a lot of people don’t have great romantic relationships, or any at all, so the time can definitely feel frustrating.”

 Oliver: What do you think would make Valentine’s better for people? And why?

 Kamryn: “I think if Valentine’s was promoted as more of a time for people to show appreciation for everyone in their life that they care about, from their parents, to their significant other, to their mail man, a lot of people would be less hesitant to celebrate it.”

 Oliver: What can we do better for this holiday to be more inclusive to so many people single? (Including older people, LGBT+, homeless)

Kamryn: “I think again, if Valentine’s Day’s core focus was on care and inclusivity, there wouldn’t be a problem with single people, lgbt+, elderly, homeless, and many others feeling left out of the holiday. Of course, it’s not a fix all, but when you broaden the focus of something from a singular type of love to overall compassion and kindness, it will naturally become more inclusive in just doing that.”

 Oliver: What is one thing you can say to change a stranger’s mind that this holiday is not just for couples?

 Kamryn: “I’ve celebrated Valentines every year with my dad, since I was a kid. He’s always gotten me a little stuffed animal and boxes of chocolates and some kind of handwritten note. I’m going to be nineteen this year, and I can bet you he’ll still manage to surprise me with something special and thoughtful. I have yet to have a significant other. I can definitely understand how this holiday can be difficult to celebrate for a lot of people. But just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re alone. You don’t have to look at the holiday the way it’s shown in retail: for lovers. It’s just for you and anyone you have an important connection with.”

  So that is the end of this project, we should be able to appreciate the little things in life when they given by love and friendship and support. We should work together, even more so now in our generation to be there for each other during these stressful times and share love for all things we enjoy and speak about among friends and family.

 “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” — Lucille Ball

©Oliver Mintz

2021

[rmnamjoons]

Sunshine: Chapter 1 [KNJ]

summary: You’ve been in love with your best friend and roommate Namjoon for years, convinced friendship is all you’ll ever have with him. The two of you are set to go on vacation with your and Namjoon’s meddling friends, who all constantly insist on trying to set the two of you up.

pairing: Namjoon x female reader

tags: eventual smut, fluff, slow burn, mutual pining, seemingly unrequited (but actually not at all unrequited) love, friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, the other members are the meddling friends

warnings for this chapter: accidental voyeurism, masturbation, dirty talk, mentions of past depression

word count for this chapter: 10.8k

[read on ao3] + my masterlist

a/n: This chapter mentions and describes Namjoon’s depression. I wrote it as having been worse in the past, and that he’s now on the road to recovery. If (short) descriptions or mentions of depression trigger you, please be careful reading if you choose to do so.

Also I characterized him as being a big eater, because he’s a big boy lol

You and Namjoon had been best friends since freshman year. You’d met each other at orientation; Namjoon was a philosophy and creative writing double major, while you were aiming for a degree in teaching English. The two of you took all of your English and core classes together, which was more than definitely what laid the foundation of the all-consuming crush you still had on him.

Neither of you were big party people. Your friend group, the six other boys, loved to have a good time, but you and Namjoon preferred to stay in, choosing to have movie nights together, cuddled up on one of your dorm room beds or, later on, on the couch in your shared apartment.

You had loved him from the day you met him. How could you not? He was tall, adorably handsome in a boy-next-door way, intelligent, funny, and, more than anything, so kind and sweet. You loved the way his deep dimples revealed themselves when he laughed and smiled wide, his eyes scrunching up in joy. You loved his deep voice that was especially gentle when talking just to you. You loved how he was nerdy and a little awkward and usually more mature and serious, but could be so silly, too. You loved all the little things only you knew about him: how ticklish he was, how he didn’t eat seafood because he loved sea animals that much, how he used to be self-conscious of his big thighs even though he’s perfectly in shape, how his depression had overwhelmed him during a large part of your sophomore and junior years, but he’d started seeing a therapist and was now well on the road to recovery.

You loved him more than anything, but he didn’t love you back. Not like you loved him, at least. You were best friends, and had been for almost six years now. You knew that he cared about you and loved you like a friend, he’d told you that enough times for you to be sure of that, but you wanted to be with him — romantically, sexually, forever — and he was oblivious, thank god. You didn’t know what you’d do if he ever found out about your stupid crush on him.

In your junior year, the two of you had moved into a two-bedroom apartment together. Your friends had teased you to no end, always insisting the two of you should just get it over with and start dating. You secretly loved when they talked like that, despite Namjoon blushing and covering his face. You loved the idea that others could see the two of you being together, and your friends most definitely did and always made sure to remind you.

Now, Namjoon was getting his masters in philosophy, and you were getting a masters in English. You both wanted to end up professors, and you sometimes fantasized about the two of you teaching in classrooms next to each other and meeting between classes, holding hands and stealing kisses. You loved to daydream about his plush lips on yours, murmuring sweet little domestic phrases, just asking about dinner or how your classes were going. It made your heart hurt, thinking about him like that. You knew he’d be such a good boyfriend.

Namjoon had had a girlfriend during senior year, two years ago, which had killed you. The girl seemed so sweet, but then after three months of you being in agony, Namjoon came home one night, heartbroken, flopping down on the couch and saying that he’d just found out that the girl had been cheating on him after agreeing to be exclusive. He’d teared up, something you hadn’t seen him do in quite some time, and you’d hugged him, stroking his hair as he held onto you, shaking as he cried.

He’d asked you if he was stupid to hope that someone would love him and only him, if he was silly for wanting something serious and “forever.” You’d assured him no, he wasn’t stupid or silly, and that there were loyal people all around him and he would eventually find someone who’d love him forever. You’d wanted so badly in that moment to say, Me! That person who will love you forever and be loyal to only you is me! but you knew it would be infinitely selfish to say that in that moment, when he was hurting.

You’d never gotten the courage after that to tell him how you felt, and now here you were, over a year and a half later, still living together as just friends. Best friends, but nothing more.

You laid in bed on your lazy Saturday morning. Namjoon also had the day off, you recalled. You checked the time, seeing it was only nine thirty, and figured he had to still be asleep. The two of you had stayed up late the night before, unwinding after making it through your midterms week.

You stretched before standing up, deciding now was as good of a time as any to make some breakfast. You were feeling crafty, deciding as you brushed your teeth and got ready that you were going to attempt to make yourself and Namjoon some pancakes.

You were stirring in the chocolate chips when you heard Namjoon’s door open, and the noise made you freeze in place. You hadn’t thought he was going to wake up this early, and you quickly looked down at yourself, only wearing very short shorts, a tank top with no bra, and an open, thin silk robe that went down to your knees.

Dropping the spoon in the bowl, you jumped and tied your robe closed, hoping to at least spare him the fact you were very braless.

He walked around the corner and you glanced over, seeing him rubbing his eyes. He was wearing just boxers and a white t-shirt, his dark brown hair a little mussed up from sleeping well, his black glasses on his face slightly crooked.

“Mmm, waffles? Pancakes? What’re you making, sunshine?” His voice was deep, warm, and grumbly in the mornings, and it made your heart melt. You smiled at his nickname for you — he’d come up with it during junior year, saying he was the moon and you were his sun, and he called you variations of that occasionally, making you fall in love with him more and more every single time.

“Pancakes,” you confirmed, back to stirring again, careful not to turn toward him. You knew your silk robe wasn’t much of a barrier; you’d been around him braless plenty of times, but never in such thin clothes.

“Smells good,” he murmured, and you felt Namjoon’s warmth behind you now, his hand on your shoulder as he peered over you at what you were making.

“I haven’t even started cooking it yet,” you laughed.

“Can I try the batter?” he asked, and you glanced back at him, eyebrow raised. He put out his bottom lip in a pout, batting his eyes at you.

“It’s not going to taste very good, but sure,” you said, holding up the spoon for him to take. Instead of taking it from you, though, he just leaned in and licked the spoon, closing his eyes as his tongue widened to lick the entire width of it, a teasing smile on his lips like he thought he was being funny.

“You’re gross,” you laughed, fighting not to bite your lip as you watched him lick his perfect plush lips where a little batter had accidentally spread.

“Tastes fine to me,” he said, giving you a look like he was proud of himself. “And it’s not gross. We eat raw cookie dough all the time.”

“That is different and you know it,” you defended, rinsing the spoon off in the sink before grabbing a small ladle for moving the batter to the frying pan currently heating up.

“Now I’m just thinking about cookies. Can you make cookies later today, sunshine? Pretty please?” Namjoon leaned against the opposite counter behind you, watching as you scooped the first batch into the pan, a soft sizzling sound filling the air.

You weren’t surprised by his request. Namjoon’s sweet tooth was insatiable — you’d once even caught him eating a spoonful of straight sugar. He was half the reason you’d loaded the pancakes with chocolate chips.

“Depends,” you said slowly, hiding your smile, still not turning around to face him as you worked. “What’s in it for me? Seems a lot like me just cooking for you all day.”

“We can get delivery for lunch and I’ll pay for it, and I’ll do all the dishes today,” he offered, and you felt like that was more than a fair trade. Besides, you would always cook for him, even without anything in return. You loved doing things like this for him; it gave you little moments where you could pretend his excited gratitude was more than just friendly.

“Deal.”

“Ah, you’re the best!” You felt him come up behind you, wrapping his arms around your stomach and squeezing. You had been in the middle of starting to flip the first pancake, which you somehow managed to not drop as you jumped slightly from his surprise hug. You felt his large, firm body pressed into your back, his big arms squeezing you, his nose pressed in against the skin behind your ear. You were so surprised, unable to even register it was happening until it was over.

He let go of you just as quickly as he’d grabbed you, stepping back. You glanced over your shoulder at him and saw him beaming, his warm smile spreading to you as well.

The two of you ate your breakfast together at your little kitchen table. Namjoon was cheerful and chatty, telling you how good your pancakes were, just as he always did when you cooked something for him. He was a big eater, and you did really enjoy cooking, so you were more than happy to cook for him whenever he wanted. Despite his best efforts, he was dreadful in the kitchen, managing to burn or break everything he touched even under careful supervision. You had originally wanted to teach him how to be self-sufficient, worried you’d moved in with a man who didn’t know anything about taking care of himself. You very quickly learned that he was perfectly self-sufficient and tidy, cleaning around the house regularly without having to be asked. It was just cooking. He couldn’t do it to save his life. You often traded chores — Namjoon offering to clean more in exchange for more of your cooking. You couldn’t complain about that. You enjoyed cooking, you enjoyed getting to eat more meals with Namjoon, he was extra sweet when you cooked his favorites, and you didn’t have to clean as much.

Namjoon ended up eating about triple the pancakes you did. Afterwards, he was leaning back in his chair, a drowsy look on his face as he rubbed his stomach with one hand.

“You look like a cartoon character who ate way too much,” you teased, watching him fighting to keep his eyes open.

“I feel like a cartoon character who ate way too much,” he grumbled. He stood, taking his plate to the kitchen, and then stumbled into the living room and collapsed facedown on the couch, letting out a long groan.

“Still want cookies? I could whip some up right now,” you said, just to hear him let out another groan.

You put your plate in the sink too. You went out to the living room and lifted Namjoon’s feet, sitting down and letting his legs fall across your lap, resting your hands on the backs of his calves.

You looked up at him, letting yourself for just a second check out his cute little ass in his boxers. You hadn’t seen so far up the back of his thighs before now, and you had to say you loved the view. His legs were so muscular, his thighs so thick — how could a man just walk around, existing looking like this?

“Y/N, don’t let me eat that much ever again,” he grumbled, pulling you from your thoughts.

“You always say that, and then the next time rolls around and you say, ‘No, it’s fine, sunshine, I know how much I can eat,’ and then this just happens again,” you said, teasing him, bringing your voice down as deep as you could for your impression of his voice.

“Ugh,” he groaned, twisting to lay on his back instead, throwing his arm across his eyes. “Your cooking’s too good, and you know I don’t have self control with your food. That’s what you’re here for.”

“To be your self control?” you said, and you looked over at his body — his t-shirt had ridden up slightly, showing off a thin line of his stomach between his shirt and boxers. One of his large hands rested on his stomach, and your mouth was all but watering just looking at the thick vein on top of it, his long fingers, how big he was…

“Exactly,” he said, and your eyes snapped back up to his face as he moved his arm away, looking at you now. Despite his grumbling, he looked happy, contented. This was one of your favorite of his habits — he talked and talked and talked, very occasionally sounding like he was complaining, but more just saying every thought that entered his head. You heard him mumbling to himself a lot around the house, and you loved it. In your eyes, he was too cute for words.

“I’m wanna nap,” Namjoon said.

“Didn’t you just wake up?” you asked, laughing at him.

“Yeah, but now I’m so full and lethargic, I just wanna sleep. We woke up too early.” He was pouting again, like a child, his eyes starting to droop closed, but he smiled when he saw you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Suit yourself,” you said, lifting his legs again to let yourself get up.

You walked into the kitchen again and turned on the sink, getting started on all the dishes you’d dirtied making your big breakfast.

“No,” Namjoon grumbled, and you heard him roll off the couch and onto the floor, moving clumsily toward you. “Don’t do the dishes, that’s my job.”

“I thought you were going to sleep,” you said, not looking back at him as you picked up the sponge and put a dollop of dish soap on it.

“I can do the dishes after I sleep. Don’t do them, Y/N.” He tried to take the sponge from your hand, but you moved it away from him.

“Why? Are you afraid I won’t make you cookies if I do the dishes?” You laughed as he tried to grab the sponge again. Turning away from him, you held the sponge at arms length away from him as he tried to reach around you and take it.

“Don’t threaten my cookies,” he said, and he eventually gave up on your game, choosing instead to grab you around your waist and pull you to him, now easily able to reach the sponge.

“Hey!” you exclaimed as he took it from you, now holding it above his head as you tried to reach up for it to take it back. You jumped, trying to grab the sponge, not realizing that your robe had fallen open.

You saw the soapy water rolling down his arm and the way he bit his lip. You knew he was ticklish and wouldn’t last with his arm up like that, sudsy water running down the sensitive skin of his arm.

Instead of jumping, you tried playing dirty. You went for his armpit, since his arm was up, after all, and tickled him. He gasped, unfortunately both bringing his arm down and squeezing the sponge in his fist in his reaction to being tickled, covering your front in soapy water in the process.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” he laughed, and you were laughing too, the situation too funny to you. He put his hands up as if he wanted to help, his eyes on where the water had dripped, but he stopped as if catching himself, pulling his hands back quickly. You looked down to where he’d been looking.

Your robe had fallen open when you’d jumped, and the soapy water was glistening on your chest and through your thin tank top. It wasn’t exactly warm in your apartment right now, and the cold water was not helping, so you knew he could very clearly see your nipples through the shirt. You quickly closed the robe in front of you, feeling your whole body blushing.

Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the ground, murmuring another, “Sorry,” quietly, apologizing for looking.

“It’s fine,” you said, unable to look up at him, too. You turned around as you quickly tied the robe closed, much tighter than before, making sure to double-knot it.

Namjoon didn’t say anything else, but you heard him move and turn on the sink. When you looked back at him, you saw him starting to wash the pan you’d used to make the pancakes. His cheeks and ears were a deep shade of red, and he glanced your way when you turned around, but didn’t make eye contact.

While Namjoon washed the dishes, you went into your bedroom and put on a sports bra and then a t-shirt. You figured you’d traumatized your poor roommate enough for one day.

After that, the awkwardness of that moment quickly melted away as the two of you went through the rest of your Saturday together. Since midterms were over, you were drawing ever-closer to the spring break trip your friend group had convinced the two of you to go on. You and Namjoon agreed to go shopping tomorrow for any last minute things you’d need, like snacks and sunscreen.

The eight of you had rented a four bedroom beach house in a cheesy overly-touristy town, and were set to start out on the seven hour drive very, very early next Saturday morning. You had suggested that you all skip classes the day before, since most classes were cancelled anyway, but Jin, halfway through med school, said there was no way he would skip even a single class, so you all stayed set leaving on Saturday.

You and Namjoon were going in one car, while Jin, Yoongi, and Hoseok were in one, and the youngest three, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook were in another. You had briefly discussed renting a van to drive down all together, but thought it would be wise to have multiple vehicles down there, to allow you all to be able to split off and do different things if you wanted. You were also thankful for being able to spend a lot of time with just Namjoon. You weren’t sure if you were capable of surviving a seven hour car ride with any of the younger boys, especially all of them together.

Namjoon seemed very excited about the trip. You wondered if he’d forgotten about the fact that the two of you had agreed to share a room. The argument presented by the other boys was that a five bedroom beach house was so much more expensive, and the two of you already lived together anyway, so who cares about sharing a room for a week. When Taehyung had booked the beach house, he’d assured you that you all had rooms with two double beds. So it would be fine.

That afternoon, as you started mixing together Namjoon’s favorite cookies, you briefly let your mind wander to what Namjoon would look like in just his swim trunks. You’d seen him shirtless before, but that was years ago, before he’d really started working out. He wasn’t a bodybuilder type by any means and was still the lanky boy you’d fallen in love with, but you saw the way his shirts were fitting him nowadays, how his arms and chest filled them out so well and his shoulders had become so broad. And you knew what he looked like in his thin, tight white shirts, how his chest had become so defined and almost beefy. You nearly started drooling, just thinking about his toned chest, his wide shoulders, what he’d look like if his swim trunks were low on his hips, showing off his lower stomach, his body dripping wet and glistening in the sun…

You sighed. You couldn’t do this. You needed to not think about him, because thinking about him like that just led to you wanting him when you knew you could never have him.

About five minutes after you put the cookies in the oven, Namjoon came out of his room, holding a book with his finger between the pages marking his place, his glasses falling down his button nose.

“Do I smell cookies?” he said, his smile playful and knowing.

“Yes, and I left you the bowl and spoon, if you want,” you said, motioning toward it on the counter.

“Oh, I love you,” he said, stepping forward quickly and putting his book down, picking up the bowl and spoon and getting started, running his fingers along the bowl and bringing cookie dough up to his mouth.

You smiled as you watched him. How had you gotten so lucky? Even just being his friend and roommate, you felt blessed to be able to be near him and see him in his cute moments like this. As he ate the cookie dough, he smiled up at you, closing his eyes and scrunching his nose.

“With all the sweets we’re eating today, we should make tomorrow a gym day,” you joked, leaning back against the counter.

“We could go on a hike, since it’s warmer now,” he offered. “I heard the trail at Rock Creek opened for the season.”

“Maybe we should take it easy on the hiking so close before vacation,” you said, smiling. “We could do something more chill, like the flat nature trail by the wharf, or swimming.”

“Hey, you’re the one that wanted to work out,” he said. “I’m happy gaining weight from chocolate chip cookies and pancakes.”

“Surely there’s a happy medium,” you laughed, reaching over and running a finger along the bottom of the bowl, collecting some cookie dough before bringing your finger to your mouth.

“Nope,” he said, his mouth full. “It’s cookies or hiking. No in between.”

You reached forward and pinched at his side, making him writhe and twist away.

“I thought you learned your lesson earlier about tickling me,” he laughed, stepping back out of your reach.

“I was just wiping my finger on your shirt,” you said, holding up the finger you’d used to pinch him, which you’d also just licked cookie dough off of.

“Blegh,” Namjoon whined, though you could still see his smile. He set the bowl down and licked his palm and started to reach out for you, and you took a step back, your eyes wide, still grinning.

“Don’t even think about it,” you said, putting up your hands in defense, but he moved forward, chasing you around the kitchen and out into the living room.

You ran out toward the couch, laughing as you tried to get away from him. When he caught you, he pulled you back against him, falling on the couch and pulling you down with him so that you laid across his lap.

“Caught you,” he said, breathing hard from his exertion. He smirked as he rubbed his hand he’d licked around your shirt over your stomach, which immediately shifted into him tickling your stomach as you gasped and giggled, writhing in his arms.

“No!” you laughed, closing your eyes and trying to twist away.

“This is payback!” He tickled your stomach ruthlessly, holding onto you when you instinctively tried to twist away from him, though your heart was soaring right now.

“I made you cookies!” you cried, and that made Namjoon stop and seem to consider for a moment.

You took the brief pause as a moment to catch your breath. You were gasping, still laying across his lap, and looking up at him you were certain he’d never looked more beautiful to you.

“You’re right,” Namjoon said, nodding. “How can you ever forgive me?”

“You have to do the dishes forever,” you said, crossing your arms. You knew you must look ridiculous, laying in his lap like this and attempting to be serious, but you tried to ignore that.

“I already do all the dishes. Try again.”

“Hmm… You’ll have to buy me something nice while we’re at the beach.”

“Fine,” he said, and he pulled you up, turning you and setting you upright on the couch. “Set your price.”

“Five hundred dollars,” you said, smiling, and Namjoon snorted.

“Set a better price.”

“Okay, okay. How about like twenty dollars?” You batted your eyelashes at him and pouted, and he looked down, almost looking bashful with his small smile.

“I’m willing to go a little higher than that, but okay. I’ll let you pick out whatever you want, to repent for my sins.”

“We’ll have to do that when we’re off on our own, otherwise the boys will see and think you’re my sugar daddy, and they will never let us live that one down,” you said, moving to sit crosslegged. The two of you were still sitting close to each other, your knee against his leg.

“Oh, god, you’re right,” he said, making a face. “They still haven’t let us forget about that Halloween where I was a vampire and you were a vampire victim. What were we thinking?”

“I thought it was a fun idea! Halloween is gory and fun!” you defended, and Namjoon laughed.

“Your outfit did not help,” he said, and you smiled, remembering the white low-cut dress you’d worn and how you’d covered your neck in fake blood that had been way runnier than you’d expected and accidentally dripped down your chest. You’d thought it was fun and that you looked like the classic Dracula victim from old horror movies, while Namjoon had dressed as a stereotypical vampire, with the cape, fake teeth, his dark hair slicked back, fake blood coming out of the corners of his mouth. But your friends, especially the younger boys, had taken your costumes as written confessions of the two of you secretly fucking. Maybe you had secretly wanted people to think you were together, but that didn’t mean you wanted the boys to tease you and Namjoon to no end.

“What are you trying to say about my outfit?” you said, crossing you arms in fake offense. You remembered Taehyung had said you’d looked like a porn star, to which Namjoon had smacked the back of his head and made him apologize. You knew your outfit had made an impression, to say the least.

“You looked like the damsel on the cover of an old horror romance novel,” he tried to defend, though you weren't sure where he was going with that. “The kids were already excited about us dressing like a couple, and on top of that you wore something you normally wouldn’t, which got them all excited. I think a few of them have crushes on you.”

“I think a few of them have crushes on you, too,” you combatted. You were very convinced that Jin and Jungkook were both in love with Namjoon, though that may just be you projecting your own feelings onto them.

“Oh, come on. Nobody has a crush on me,” Namjoon said, rolling his eyes.

You threw a pillow at him. “No being mean to yourself allowed in this house,” you said, making him laugh.

“I’m not being mean, it’s just the truth,” he said, but you could see a sadness in his eyes.

Namjoon cleared his throat, sitting up straighter, now hugging the pillow you’d thrown at him.

“What do you want for dinner?” he asked. You let him change the topic, since he was clearly uncomfortable with the one you had been on.

“You mean you want something besides chocolate chip cookies?” you said, fake-gasping.

“As good as they are, I really want something savory. How about Chinese? I’ll get it this time.” Namjoon seemed much more relaxed now already, which you were grateful for. You knew he could be kind of sensitive sometimes, turning in on himself and withdrawing when he felt bad.

“Takeout again? And you already paid for my lunch. My my, are you made of money?” you teased.

“You’re right. The seven dollars I’d spend on your dinner would absolutely break me,” Namjoon laughed, and you watched as he stood up, walking over to the kitchen where the two of you kept takeout menus. “Besides, we can’t go grocery shopping so close before a trip. It would all go to waste.”

“We’re not leaving for another week!” you called back, laughing at his attempt at logic.

“Too late, I already picked up the menu,” he said, walking back over with the menu to your and his favorite Chinese place. “Do you want your usual?”

“Yes, please, and thank you, Joonie,” you said, closing your eyes and giving him a big smile.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, and he ruffled your hair as if you were a child before dialing up the restaurant on his phone.

You loved him so much, sometimes you couldn’t stand it. The two of you hadn’t spent a whole day together like this in so long, and you’d seen even less of each other than normal during midterms. You’d missed him, missed having time together like this.

As Namjoon made the call for your dinner to be delivered, you pulled your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs as you watched him pacing. You were so comfortable together. Dating him, being with him, would be so easy. So few changes would happen — just adding sex and more affection to your already wonderful relationship. You wanted him so badly, your heart yearned for it, for him.

You wondered what kind of world you’d have to live in or what version of yourself you’d have to be for Namjoon to want you. A man like him would never want you. You were smart, but he was a genius. You were okay looking, but he was gorgeous. You tried to be a nice person, but he was so genuinely kind-hearted and good. He was just better than you. You knew he deserved the best of the best in all aspects of his life, and you wanted to give that to him, but you couldn’t help feeling like he deserved better than you. It didn’t matter anyway, because he’d never like you.

After Namjoon ordered your food, you got the cookies out of the oven and started a movie. You couldn’t believe he’d never seen The Little Mermaid, and you’d teased him, saying he’d love it because it had a crab character. You weren’t very far in when your meals arrived, and Namjoon paused the movie, saying he didn’t want to miss anything.

Namjoon ended up loving the movie, just like you knew he would. He always got so invested in movies, it was adorable.

The two of you sat on the couch, his arm thrown over the back of it, resting just above your shoulders. Your legs were bent, your knees resting on Namjoon’s legs. You weren’t quite cuddling, but to you, this was everything.

At the end of the movie, Namjoon put his hand on your knee.

“That was fun. I can’t believe I hadn’t seen it,” he said, and you could only think about his big hand on your bare skin.

“I knew you’d like it. You love silly things,” you said, smirking.

“Yeah, that’s why I love you, sunshine,” he teased right back, and your heart skipped a beat.

“Wow,” you said flatly, pretending to be offended, but you couldn’t stop repeating what he’d said over and over in your head. You knew he’d been joking, but god, it felt good to hear him say those words.

“Want to watch another one?” Namjoon asked, picking up his phone. “It’s only nine. We could make it a mini-Disney marathon.”

“Sure,” you said, nodding. Your brain wasn’t working too good right now, so maybe picking another movie instead of talking to him would be a good idea.

“Is there one you haven’t seen?” he said, now scrolling through the on-demand list of Disney movies.

“I think I’ve seen most of them, but I haven’t seen any of the older ones in a really long time,” you said, attempting to focus. That’s why I love you, sunshine. Oh, god.

“I don’t think I’ve seen Cinderella,” he said, stopping on that one. “I mean, I’m sure I did when I was little. I don’t really remember it though, outside of pop culture, obviously.”

“That sounds good,” you said quickly, nodding eagerly. I love you, sunshine. You kept repeating what he’d said, hearing his deep rumbly voice in your head again and again. Why were you acting like this? You’d heard him say that before, though never with his petname for you at the same time. Why did it feel so much better now, cuddled up with him like this?

“I’m gonna grab some cookies real quick,” he said, hopping up.

“Okay,” you said, your voice dazed.

While he was in the kitchen, you picked up your phone from the coffee table, checking it for the first time in hours.

The group chat you had with your friends had blown up while you and Namjoon had been off on your own. You tried scrolling back to the beginning, but gave up halfway through and started just reading whatever and hoping you’d figure it out from the context.

7:44 - Taetae: i bet they’re fucking asdlkfjdslkj

7:46 - Taetae: i just tried texting both of them individually and neither answered. they Fuckin

7:46 - JK: joon’s finally giving it to her 😩🍆💦

7:46 - Yoongi: please remove me from this group chat

7:47 - Chimchim: guys what if they’re dead

7:47 - Taetae: joon’s giving his sunny THAT D

7:48 - Yoongi: i am begging you all to stop

7:49 - Chimchim: guys i’m really worried, what if something happened

7:50 - JK: oh we already know what’s happening

7:50 - Hobi: leave them alone guys, mom and dad deserve a break too

You started scrolling down through the chat faster, just skimming. You could see that when you’d finished your movie and Namjoon had checked his phone, he’d finally texted them and put Jimin out of his misery.

8:54 - Joonie: jimin, we’re fine. and no we’re not fucking

8:54 - Taetae: IT LIVES

8:54 - JK: finally stopping for a break, tiger? i’m sure y/n needs one, you’ve been gone a while 😉

8:55 - Joonie: shut up

8:55 - Chimchim: aww he’s sensitive

8:56 - Joonie: says the guy who spent the last hour crying because his friends didn’t text him back fast enough?

8:56 - Taetae: OOF 🔥

8:56 - Hobi: goddamn joon

With that, you had caught up, though you’d skipped more than eighty percent of the chat. You had a feeling you hadn’t missed much.

8:59 - y/n: awww did little baby jimin get his feelings hurt?

8:59 - Chimchim: not you too mom!!!

8:59 - Taetae: 😭😭😭

You heard Namjoon snort in the kitchen as he read your text. He came back out then, carrying a plate he’d piled up with cookies that he laid on his legs as he sat down right beside you.

Namjoon took the remote and started the movie, and leaned back, taking a picture with his phone of the plate of cookies, the Disney logo on the screen, and both his and your legs propped up on the coffee table, and then sent that to the chat.

8:59 - Joonie: this is what we were doing, by the way

9:00 - JK: MOM AND DAD ARE HAVING DATE NIGHT

9:00 - Hobi: if you meant for that to make them stop making fun of you guys, you do not know them at all

9:01 - Taetae: you guys are too cute i’m actually throwing up

9:02 - Yoongi: aww, congrats to the happy couple

9:02 - y/n: wow

“Did you mean for that to help our case?” you laughed, scrolling back up to the picture he’d sent.

“I thought it would,” he said, shrugging. “We’re not doing anything bad, like they were saying.”

“We’re gonna hear about this one a lot next week,” you said, laughing as you tossed your phone aside.

The movie wasn’t very long, but about halfway through, you caught yourself dozing off. You snuggled in beside Namjoon, leaning on his arm.

God, he was so comfortable, and so so warm. You’d almost forgotten that he was like a furnace, the heat radiating off of him and making you even drowsier. Snuggling with him on the couch felt so natural; even in your mostly asleep state, you felt so happy and contented, knowing you were doing something rare and special, cuddling with him like this as you drifted off to sleep.

A while later, you were vaguely aware the movie was ending in the background. You suddenly became much more aware, however, when your sleepy brain realized you were hugging Namjoon’s arm like a teddy bear, possibly drooling on his sleeve.

You shifted away from him, rubbing your eyes with your hands.

“Well, hello, Sleeping Beauty,” Namjoon said, looking over at you as he turned off the television.

“Wrong movie,” you mumbled, not able to fully open your eyes yet.

Namjoon set the mostly empty plate of cookies on the coffee table and stood, turning to you and offering both hands to help you up. You took them, and he pulled you to your feet just a little too fast, making you wobble.

Namjoon put his arm around your waist, steadying you.

“Easy there, Bambi,” he said, and you wanted to hit his arm.

“I’m gonna kill you,” you mumbled, hiding the small smile now on your face.

“Okay, okay,” he said, and he stepped around the couch, carrying the cookie plate to the kitchen. You watched him as he walked, admiring the movement of his hips, the way his muscles in his legs moved, the large expanse of his back and wide shoulders.

You decided that tonight was going to be special.

Grabbing your phone and telling Namjoon goodnight, you headed straight to your room. You were still sleepy, but you wanted to do something that would help you sleep even better.

You locked your door and went to you underwear drawer, pulling out your trusty vibrator. You hadn’t used it in weeks, but what the hell, why not treat yourself? Namjoon had been extra sexy today, so you deserved it.

You took off your shorts and laid down on your bed. Letting your eyes fall closed, you thought about Namjoon’s large hands, his long fingers, the thick vein on the top of his right hand that you always loved to stare at. You touched your breasts, squirming slightly as you imagined it was his big hands instead of your small ones, his body on top of yours as he touched you.

You trailed your hand down your stomach, letting your fingertips trail over your skin as you bit your lip in anticipation. Ducking your hand down below your panties, you rubbed two fingers around your clit, already wet just from being near Namjoon all day and thinking about him like this.

You thought about his plush lips and the way his jaw moved when he ate. Fuck, how could a man look that good eating? You always wished you could push his plate onto the floor, lay down on the table in front of him with your legs spread open, and tell him to keep eating.

Thinking about his tongue, you slid your panties off and turned your vibrator on.

Living with your parents, in a dorm with thin walls, and then here with Namjoon, you knew how to be quiet. You sometimes struggled when you used your toy, though, especially when you were worked up thinking about Namjoon and his long fingers and big soft lips, or trying to imagine what his cock looked like.

You let out a small whimper as you slid your vibrator inside your pussy. It wasn’t very big, but you slid it in and out while rubbing your clit, and you kept your eyes closed tight, thinking about vague parts of Namjoon’s body — his warm, expressive eyes, his wide shoulders, how damn big he was, his deep honey voice.

“Namjoon,” you hummed, just barely audible, and you raised your hips off the bed, fucking yourself on your vibrator as if you were moving underneath him.

You tried to imagine what his cock would look like, feel like. You knew he was big — you’d seen him in his light gray sweatpants enough times to know that much. Besides, he was by far the tallest in your friend group, and with those big hands and his big feet, he had to at least be proportional. You imagined his thick, velvety cock pounding into you, stretching you out, fucking you so hard and you let out a whimper, pushing your vibrator deeper, searching out your g-spot as you moved your fingers on your clit faster and harder.

You didn’t last long. Thinking about that morning, when he’d hugged you from behind and tickled you and everything else he’d done, you imagined him bending you over your kitchen table and that made you fall over the edge, gasping silently, the vibrator quickly becoming way too much stimuli for your sensitive body.

You took in deep, shaky breaths, still slowly moving your fingers around your clit, drawing out your pleasure.

You let yourself relax for a few moments before getting up to go to the bathroom and clean up. You slid your shorts back on, made sure nothing looked too out of place, and then unlocked your door and went back out into your and Namjoon’s shared space, on your way to the one bathroom you had in the apartment.

It would be just your luck that Namjoon had decided to take a shower.

You sighed, turning to go back to your room to wait for him to finish, but just as you started to turn away, you heard him.

Namjoon was moaning.

You raised your eyebrows about to your hairline, your lips parting as you realized exactly what he was doing in your shared shower. His moans were steady, almost as if with every exhale. He sounded like he was close.

You felt a new rush of wetness in your pussy, your mouth falling open as you listened to his absolutely obscene sounds. You were pretty sure you could go back into your bedroom and go for round two right now. But you didn’t. You hated yourself for it, but you were frozen in place, listening to his sounds through the thin bathroom door.

You took a small step closer, not quite pressing your ear to the door. You could almost hear the sound of his fist moving hard on his length, his pace brutal at this point as his moans echoed off the tile walls over the sound of the running water. Fuck, why did he moan so loud? He was killing you, he sounded so good. You squeezed your legs together where you stood, your breath catching in your throat.

“Mmm, baby, just like that…” Namjoon’s deep voice groaned.

Your heart skipped a beat.

Was he imagining someone? You weren't sure you could bear to listen to this; the jealousy would kill you if you knew for a fact he was actively fantasizing about other people. You liked to live in your fantasy world, frozen in time, where Namjoon wasn’t interested in anybody and nobody besides you was interested in him. You knew he’d never want you, but if you had nothing to spark your jealousy, you were happy enough.

He kept moaning, and you bit your lip.

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re so fucking good…”

Your heart might’ve just stopped. What the fuck?

“Mmm, oh… Good girl. Fuck, baby, I’m so close…” He kept moaning, his deep voice raising slightly in pitch, his breathing coming faster. “Y/N…” He stuttered out your name as he came, letting out a long groan, his breathing ragged. He sounded like he’d cum hard, and you could just imagine him: eyes squeezed closed, his mouth open as he breathed hard, his skin flushed from his exertion, the water from the shower dripping down his perfect naked body.

You heard him sigh, and you decided that was your cue to skitter back to your room and hide, locking your door behind you.

You weren't sure your brain was processing things properly right now. That had to have been a dream, or some extended fantasy from when you’d masturbated. Maybe you’d passed out with your vibrator still in your pussy, and this was your desperate mind reacting to that, like a vibrator-induced horny fever dream. That had to be what happened.

You sat on the edge of your bed. You were throbbing for him, your pussy practically dripping down your legs.

Fuck it.

You laid back on your bed. You didn’t bother with the vibrator this time, instead going straight for pushing three fingers into yourself, curling them as deep as you could as you brought your other hand down to rub your clit. You knew your poor clit was going to be sore tomorrow, and you didn’t care.

You played the sounds he’d made over and over in your head, the deep timber of his voice, the way he’d said your fucking name as he’d cum. You tried to imagine his cock as he stroked it. You wondered if he’d cum on your shower tiles or onto his hand, or maybe up onto his stomach. You wanted him to shoot his hot cum all over your face, or stuff you full of it as he pounded into you.

You imagined yourself in the shower with him, on your knees under the spray of the warm water. You wanted to lick his cum off of his stomach. You wanted to take his cock in your mouth and look up at him with big innocent eyes as you took all of him, your nose pressing into his pubic hair as the head of his cock pressed into the back of your throat. You’d draw from him the same noises he’d made touching himself, and he wouldn’t be able to help himself; he’d grab your head with both hands and fuck your mouth, and you’d take him, you’d do whatever he wanted, because you were his and always would be.

You murmured his name, over and over like a prayer as you fucked yourself on your fingers. Your whole body shook when you came — you gasped loudly, probably too loud, and moved your fingers steadily, drawing out every last bit of your orgasm you could, imagining Namjoon’s face in pleasure as your back arched up off the bed, your toes curling from your earth-shattering orgasm.

You laid on your bed, your chest rising and falling lazily as you let your mind wander over what you’d heard.

There was no way. You had to have misheard him, or imagined it, or, or… something. Or, if you hadn’t misheard, there was no way he meant it. Maybe it was real, but he was just having something like a sex dream. People couldn’t help what they thought of in those, right? You’d had a sex dream about Jungkook once, and you most definitely had not meant or wanted that. That’s probably what it was. It had to be.

You heard Namjoon walking around, closing the door to the bathroom and walking into his room. You’d seen him make that journey a few times, though you always made sure not to look. He always liked to get dressed in his room, so he just wore a towel wrapped low around his hips. The very few times you’d dared a short glance, you’d seen his back, glistening with water from his shower. You imagined him now like that, shirtless, dripping wet, only the thin little white towel blocking your view of his perfect body.

You were not going to sleep that night, you already knew it.

You got up and finally went to the bathroom to clean up, pee, and get ready for bed.

As you sat on the toilet, you stared at the shower, where Namjoon had just been, moaning your name as he came. Had he needed to take a moment to clean his cum off of those shower tiles? It hadn’t even been ten minutes since your best friend, the man you were in love with, had moaned your name right there.

You washed your hands, put on lotion, and brushed your teeth, glancing over at the shower every few moments. You still just couldn’t believe it. It felt too unreal.

“Hey, you,” Namjoon’s deep voice suddenly said, pushing open the bathroom door you’d cracked while brushing your teeth. His voice was deeper than usual, undoubtably in his post-orgasm haze, and you could not make yourself look at him.

“Hey!” you said, way too peppy, overcompensating for how awkward you felt as you stared down at the sink. You spat out your toothpaste and rinsed your mouth out while Namjoon moved behind you, reaching around you to pick up his own toothbrush.

“You smell good,” he said, probably trying to kill you, you figured.

“Oh, uh, I just put on lotion.” You pointed to your side of the counter at your scented lotion.

“Hmm,” he said, his toothbrush now in his mouth, and you finally let yourself look up at his face.

He was absolutely glowing, which you figured was normal, considering what he’d just done, but you swore you had never been more attracted to him than this exact moment. His skin looked so healthy, his expression relaxed and contented, his eyes meeting yours and giving you a warm smile. The t-shirt he’d thrown on showed off those wide shoulders you loved so much. His mouth was slightly open as he brushed his teeth, his plump lips taunting you. Maybe his pheromones were mixing in the air with yours or something, but Christ, he looked like sex on legs.

“Good night,” you said quickly, and you ducked out of the room and ran back to your bedroom, away from that awful, sexy, shameless man.

~:~:~

The next morning, you laid in your bed for at least an hour after waking up.

There was no way you’d be able to face him after last night. You still couldn’t believe him, what he’d done, and how right afterwards he’d pretended like everything was normal. You didn’t even let yourself think about him jacking off in the shower while moaning your name — you were now focused on how he’d been so casual afterwards.

The two of you were supposed to go shopping today. You wondered if you could pretend to be sick, though you figured you’d have to eventually face him. God, how were you supposed to share a room with him next week?

You got out of bed and quickly ran to the bathroom, hoping to not run into him on the way there. Maybe you’d be lucky, and Namjoon would have something going on today that he’d forgotten about.

You got ready and begrudgingly went out into your shared living space. You saw Namjoon, surprisingly already awake, and in the kitchen, even more surprisingly. He was standing in front of the stovetop, and… oh no.

“Woah,” you said, stepping closer cautiously. “Are you cooking?”

“Hey, morning, sunshine,” he said happily, looking up at you. He was making scrambled eggs, which actually didn’t look terrible. “I’m making us some breakfast before we head out. You wanted to go to the outlets, right?”

You vaguely remembered mentioning the outlet mall to him, but had forgotten about that completely in the last twenty-four hours. The outlets were about a half an hour away, which meant time alone in a car, with him.

“Oh, um, yeah,” you said weakly.

“I’m excited. I realized the other day that I don’t actually have any swim trunks that fit anymore, so I really need to get some. Plus I want some Hawaiian shirts. I really want to embrace this cheesy tourist vibe you told us this town has. Maybe I’ll buy a fanny pack.”

You snorted. You should’ve figured Namjoon’s silliness would immediately take away any awkwardness you felt.

“If you get one, I’ll get one too. We can match.”

“Perfect,” he said, beaming at you. He picked up one of the plates he’d set out and scooped half of the scrambled eggs onto it. He’d made what looked like enough for an army, and you most certainly did not need half of that much, but you thanked him anyway and took your plate over to the table.

You ate together happily, calmly, your conversation friendly and normal. As if you both hadn’t masturbated less than twelve hours ago while moaning each other’s names. You wondered briefly how Namjoon would’ve reacted if your roles were reversed, if he had been the one to hear you instead, but you quickly pushed that thought away.

After breakfast, you got dressed and ready for the day. You felt an urge to look extra pretty today, thinking you’d give Namjoon something to moan about if he was going to make a habit of masturbating while thinking of you. Why had he done that yesterday of all days? You’d just laid around all day in pajamas, eating junk food and joking around. If you had been at a party or something where you were wearing a short dress, then yeah, that might make a little more sense. Whatever! It didn’t have to make sense in your mind. You figured it was a fluke anyway, so what did it matter what his reasoning was?

You dolled yourself up with makeup, putting on way more than usual, as if you were going to a job interview or something important. Unlike a job interview, however, you wore a tight little pink crop top and tiny high-waisted shorts, and tied a black choker around your neck. You let your hair stay down, but pinned a few strands back, framing your face. You were going for a sex doll kind of look today, hoping Namjoon would appreciate it.

“Ready?” you called out as you left your room, closing your door behind you.

“Yeah,” Namjoon said, standing in the living room looking at his phone.

When he looked up at you, you swore he did an honest to god double take. You watched his eyes widen and move down your body before snapping back up to your face, as if he’d caught himself doing something he shouldn’t by looking at you.

You left for the outlets, stopping on your way to get Starbucks through the drive-thru. Namjoon paid, again, and you wondered if this Twilight Zone world you’d woken up in yesterday — with him paying for everything and tickling you and jacking off to you — was just going to be your new normal.

You drove, and Namjoon played his music. You both liked rap, though Namjoon was the one who introduced you to a lot of the songs you liked, while he liked exploring more deeply on his own. You talked some over the music, about your plans for the beach, your friends, dinner — just casual, friendly things.

You glanced his way more than a few times when you sat at stoplights. He was in light jeans that fit his big thighs so well, a thin t-shirt that showed off his toned chest, and he was wearing his glasses again today, which you loved. He’d put just a little product in his hair, smoothing it all back off of his forehead, and you wanted to run both of your hands through his perfect hair.

By the time you got to the outlet, it had started to rain, which both of you had not planned for at all. The outlet was an outdoor mall, and Namjoon offered to run into a store and buy an umbrella, but you figured the rain probably wouldn’t last too long anyway. You decided together that you could just run to the first store and wait there until the worst of it passed.

You ran, which you struggled to do in your sandals. Namjoon reached back and grabbed your hand, laughing and urging you to run faster. You were soaked by the time you got to the first store, gasping and laughing together as you dripped in the store’s entrance, the AC making you both shiver.

And there he was, you thought. Namjoon was standing there, looking like a marble statue, his hair wet, his warm skin glistening, his t-shirt soaked through, almost revealing the details and lines of his muscles. How could anyone look that good? You were sure you looked like a wet mop right now, and he looked like a god.

The store you’d ducked into had a bathing suit section, so you figured this was a good a place as any to start your shopping day. Namjoon picked out a few swim trunks, and you held up a few bikinis in front of yourself as you stood in front of the mirror.

“You should get that one,” Namjoon said as he walked up, motioning toward the little pink bikini one you were currently holding up in front of yourself.

“What makes you say that?” you dared to say, instantly regretting it. That was way too forward, too flirtatious, too awkward. It was one thing for a friend to say something like what he’d said to a friend, it was another for you to flirtatiously ask his reasoning behind it.

“‘Cause it’s cute, sunshine,” he said, wrinkling his nose. You watched him sigh, looking around the store like he was trying to act casual. “It’d look good on you.”

You bit your lip instead of responding. Why were you being like this? For fuck’s sake.

You held on to that bikini as you returned the others, and also picked up a red one-piece bathing suit that reminded you of a 1950’s pinup girl. You decided to let that one be a surprise for Namjoon when you all got to the beach.

You continued shopping for about an hour. You bought two sundresses and a romper, and Namjoon found some awful Hawaiian shirts that made his eyes light up in delight at the tackiness. You insisted he also buy one normal shirt to wear at some point on your trip, just in case you went somewhere nicer.

As you carried your bags back to the car, Namjoon swung his bags in his hands, humming to himself happily. You hadn’t seen him this peppy in a long time. You still remembered what it had been like, back during his darkest times. How even when he’d managed to smile, it never reached his eyes. You were thankful every day for the therapist he’d started going to, who he still saw every week, and for the medication he’d started. He was so much more himself now, his love and joy for life making him glow, filling the people around him, too. He deserved to be this happy.

“What do you want for lunch, sunshine?” he asked, smiling and looking at you over the car as you put your bags on the back seat.

“You pick. I’m so hungry, I’ll eat anything.” You got into the driver’s seat and turned on the car, quickly turning the AC on full blast to combat the post-rain humidity.

“There’s a steakhouse down the road,” he suggested as he buckled his seatbelt.

“I’m not sure it’ll be open at two on a Sunday, but let’s go find out,” you said, looking over at him and seeing him smiling contentedly to himself.

It was open, as it turned out, and Namjoon got a huge steak and two sides and ate every bit of it. You smiled as you watched him. He was so cute sometimes, your heart couldn’t take it. You watched the way he ate, how his cheeks puffed out with big bites of food that made him look like a little chipmunk. You felt lucky, just knowing him.

Namjoon insisted on paying for your meal, yet again, and you were not going to let him but he slipped his credit card to the waiter before you could even try to stop him.

“Joon, you can’t keep doing that,” you whined, wanting to kick him under the table.

“Why not? I can’t treat my friend?” He made a face at you, teasing as always, and you rolled your eyes.

“This is the third meal in a row you’ve treated me to. Four, if we count you making breakfast this morning, which was very unlike you.”

“What can I say? I’ve been in a very giving mood lately.” His defense was weak, and you both knew it.

“You keep doing this, I’m gonna tell the group chat that you’re my sugar daddy. I bet that’ll make you stop paying for everything real quick, just to get them to shut up.”

“You wouldn’t,” he said, scoffing.

“Oh yeah?” You picked up your phone. You read aloud slowly as you typed out a long message: “Guys, you will not believe this. Daddy Joonie took me shopping today and bought me a big steak lunch—”

Namjoon’s hand dove forward, trying to grab the phone out of your hand, but you turned away, keeping it out of his reach as you continued typing, not taking your eyes off your phone as you grinned wildly.

“I really am Daddy’s little princess. Do you guys want to see what else he bought me? Daddy told me that he was the only one who gets to see me in it, but I feel like being bad—”

“If you send that, you are sleeping outside on our trip,” Namjoon said, shaking his head, a shocked smile on his face.

“Sent,” you said, smirking and holding up your phone, showing him the large blue chat bubble.

“Fuck,” Namjoon said under his breath, scrambling to pull out his phone to see it with his own eyes. You giggled as he glanced up at you with wide, fearful eyes when he felt his phone vibrating from the notification.

Namjoon looked at his phone for a moment before rolling his eyes.

“You fucking brat,” he said, smiling and shaking his head. You’d sent it only to him, not the group chat, just to give him that little heart attack.

“That was a warning shot,” you said, trying to maintain your seriousness despite your giggles.

“Message received,” he said, slumping back against the booth. “I thought most people liked getting free food. I didn’t know you’d play so dirty.”

“That was nothing. Keep this shit up, and I’ll write you handwritten love letters describing our torrid affair like a porn novel, and leave them out on the kitchen table in the beach house.”

“Two can play this game,” Namjoon said, feeling bold now as he smirked and sat up again. “You remember my poetry, back in the day? I’ll write you graphic, sexual love poems and send them to the chat and say it was an accident, that I’d meant to send them just to you. I can get really descriptive, you know.”

“I’ll sit in your lap the first meal we eat together down there and make you feed me.”

“I’ll pull you down in my lap the first meal we eat together and feed you.”

“I’ll text Taehyung and ask him if he wants a three-way.”

Namjoon made a face at that, and you laughed.

“You don’t want a three-way with me and Tae?” you teased.

“I don’t like sharing,” he grumbled.

Namjoon had said that right as the waiter dropped the bill and his card off, giving you the cover you needed to mentally process that little tidbit he’d just shared with the class. ‘I don’t like sharing?’ What the fuck?

You were convinced at this point that Namjoon knew you’d masturbated to him last night and was just trying to kill you. Though that didn’t really explain all the things he’d said and done before that yesterday. Maybe he could suddenly read minds, and knew you were in love with him and just wanted to torture you with all these little things he kept saying and doing. That had to be it.

You were certain you weren’t going to survive your vacation.

[kiruuuuu]

Kapkan/Glaz sequel in which the Spetsnaz go swimming and some... get wetter than others. (Rating E, explicit, ~4.2k words) - The sequel to this oneshot!

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Glaz’ pencil travels over the thick paper, leaving behind graphite traces which form a whole not yet, but soon. His mind’s eye is closed as he draws exclusively with his physical ones, captures shadows as he sees them and dips and valleys the way they appear before him. Over the soothing practice, he forgets all about the oppressing heat reigning unchecked once more – a few weeks, they were graced with respite from this British record summer, but now it’s returned full force and with a vengeance. Still, it’s easy to leave it behind when he can focus on his favourite hobby. Even if his teammates make it mighty difficult to concentrate.

“Make sure to get me from my best side”, Tachanka rumbles, self-satisfied with the attention he’s receiving.

“Bird’s eye view?”, Fuze guesses from the pool, shit-eating grin immediately extinguished by getting dunked underwater by Kapkan.

“One more unqualified comment like that and I’ll demonstrate why my nickname during training was freight train.”

Their bickering has been going on all day, fuelled by frustration over the heatwave – not even the trip to the SAS-owned pool has managed to lift their spirits significantly. They’re more prickly than usual instead of just lethargic and Glaz knows exactly why. “In German, they’d call your best side your ‘chocolate side’. Marius told me when I sketched his Magpie”, he informs the other three, hoping to defuse the situation somewhat and maybe even switch topics.

“Any side of his is his chocolate side”, states Kapkan, deadpan, and finally allows Fuze to breathe again. “If you didn’t get it – I’m talking about your lovehandles.”

“Shut up or I’ll shove that pool noodle where the sun doesn’t shine.”

Glaz sighs inwardly. He’d been looking forward to lounging by the pool in peace, dip in and out to cool off and get some exercise without ending up panting like he’d just run a marathon, and maybe catch a few glimpses. Just a few. He asked about sketching and stormy eyes locked with his for a split second which felt like forever, and Glaz’ mind already provided ample inspiration, excuses for a specific pose, daydreams and a whole lot more unbidden imagery… but then those grey irises slid away again in disinterest. Whether feigned or not, Glaz couldn’t tell.

Tachanka was the one who volunteered eventually, and instead of relaxing around the people he knows best in this passionless country, Glaz is now stretched out on a chair by the side of the pool, studying the old man’s physique and listening to the other three bicker.

“You can try. I’ve seen you in the water once, and you swim the way you fight – like a tank.”

Kapkan probably thinks his derision comes across as good-natured mockery instead of biting venom. He’s lucky they all have thick skin or one of them would’ve retaliated much more harshly than they tend to do, and a pissed-off Spetsnaz is nothing to scoff at. He has these days when he sharpens his claws on them, like an animal: honing his fangs on his kin, and though he recoils upon a pained sound, he’s planning his next attack nonetheless. Glaz has noticed this since day one – Kapkan carries himself like a predator, watching, assessing, waiting.

He takes himself much too seriously, but a personal jab with no harm intended only would serve to rile him up further instead of prompting a relieved smile.

“I was carrying all my gear. I’d like to see you try to continue your water ballet with Glaz on your shoulders.”

“Hey, you don’t get to watch the show and complain about it!”, Fuze protests. He’s been vainly attempting to gain the upper hand for half an hour now and really should’ve known better than to ask Kapkan of all people to help him improve his hand to hand in water. They all know Kapkan is merciless and not above humiliating his opponent, as showcased by the fact that Kapkan’s hair isn’t even wet and Fuze must’ve swallowed a litre of chlorinated water by now.

“No one would pay money to watch you drown for an hour, don’t flatter yourself.”

“Don’t move so much”, Glaz mutters and instantly regrets drawing attention to himself, because even Fuze and Kapkan cease their wet struggling to regard him curiously.

Tachanka is the one who seems to say what everyone’s thinking: “You’re suspiciously quiet today, lad.”

That’s just my seething fury coupled with the frustration of being disappointed every day, no worries, Glaz thinks and unconsciously glances over at Kapkan, who returns his gaze calmly. “I’m concentrating. Besides, shouldn’t we go back? Our hide-and-seek excuse won’t buy us another hour.”

It’s become an inside joke at Rainbow at this point – an unspoken yet silently agreed upon rule states that once a month, each team is allowed the claim to wanting to improve their navigational skills and sense of perception by utilising the natural terrain of the English countryside. In short: they tell Six they’re basically playing hide and seek so they can go out and do whatever for a few hours. The GIGN have used it to bake a surprise cake for Harry (whose vegan lifestyle makes it difficult to buy cakes for him), the Americans snuck off to Skype with their families on Thanksgiving, and the Germans prepared a barbecue plus an improvised bouncy castle for the 15th of October, when Rainbow celebrates six birthdays all falling into the same week. And today, the Spetsnaz used it to splash around in the SAS-owned pool on base.

Time well spent.

“You’re right. Don’t forget to clean up or it’ll draw suspicion”, Tachanka reminds them and rises from his sunbed like a corpse from a stretcher, complete with groans of the dead and joints popping. “I’ll even help, that’s how refreshed I feel.”

“And the fighting was my idea”, Fuze chimes in between coughs, cheeks reddened and looking wholly miserable, “so I’ll do it.”

Next to him, Kapkan is unfazed by their tussle and surfaces from the pool not even out of breath, rivulets of water running down his torso and making his skin glisten in the indirect sun beams falling in from the skylights. He’s… distracting, and therefore Glaz reacts entirely too late to his teammate joining him and pointing at the sketchbook in his lap. “Can I see?”

Unfortunately, he’s dripping all over it or else Glaz might’ve considered his question, but he’s had one too many books with him out in the rain or the snow and knows how ugly the damage looks on the pages afterwards, so he nearly flings it off into the distance with how vehemently he yanks it aside, and merely hisses a curse in preparation of telling Kapkan off for being this careless.

It’s just -

The only thing that leaves Glaz’ lips is an English: “Fuck me.”

And, well. He overheard someone else use it, probably Twitch or IQ when they burnt their hands, and then he noticed others saying it and though it’s been dancing on his tongue for days, apparently now his brain decided it was time to finally birth it.

Kapkan looks like he slapped him.

“Watch the fucking language”, Tachanka admonishes him with a wide grin. “Someone might think you’re an actual adult, Glazkov.”

His cheeks are killing him, they’re hotter than the air outside and getting flustered now will certainly look suspicious. “Just be more careful. Okay?”, he mumbles into his beard, directed at a thunderstruck Kapkan whose expression is inscrutable.

“You two can go ahead, we got this”, Fuze informs them and this seems to tear the very wet and almost-naked man in front of Glaz out of his stupor.

“Oh, I – I can take over for you. I’ll clean. You go.”

And now Glaz really wishes he had slapped him. What a perfectly obvious excuse to not end up alone with him. Before he gets a chance to drop a cutting remark of his own, Tachanka voices what everyone’s thinking: “You shit in somebody’s cereal, or why don’t you want to go back to base? You need to be forced to tidy usually.”

Fishing for justifications, Kapkan lamely defends himself by claiming he still has something to make up to Fuze – which is likely, yet no reason for him to choose cleaning over lazing about some more – and Glaz has to fight the urge to strangle him. That is, until he realises two can play this game.

“I’ll stay, too”, he announces and suppresses a laugh at how quickly Kapkan’s head snaps in his direction. “I can let my pages dry out in the sun. We’ll see you in half an hour.”

“And this why you’ve always been my favourite. Show me your masterpiece in a bit, alright?” Tachanka slaps him on the back approvingly and then heads off in Fuze’s company, the two of them discussing actual strategies about fighting underwater instead of beating the Uzbek up unhelpfully.

A stony silence settles in, making Glaz’ stomach cramp. The other Russian towels himself dry while he puts the chairs away and gathers the supplies they’ll need – there’s not much to do, the pool is being used daily and as long as they mop up all the splashed water, they should be good. Everything is done wordlessly, fuelling the awkwardness causing Glaz to drop whatever he’s holding twice, and it keeps getting worse.

Why have you been avoiding me, he doesn’t say, though he really wants to. We can pretend nothing happened. We can go back.

He could. With difficulty, but he could. If only he knew what was up. But working up the courage is impossible, he’s failed for weeks already and with a friendship on the line, with possibly more -

Kapkan chuckles. The low sound manages to pierce the spiral Glaz is sending himself down and interrupts his thoughts. “They really do have fucking pool noodles here. What on earth do they do with these?”

The supply closet indeed provides a variety of colourful foam noodles, even a deflated alligator and a beach ball. It seems they aren’t the only ones to use this facility for purely recreational purposes. “All I’m picturing now is Seamus wearing floaties.”

His comment earns him an amused snort and the ice is finally broken. They share a grin and Glaz’ relief must show on his face. “I almost want to go back in and ride this crocodile.”

“Or go dive for some of these rings.” Suddenly, Glaz gets an idea when he spots a hoop, reminding him of a dolphin show he once saw. “Hey, you think I could jump through this one?”

“No way. You’re too fat.”

Hilarious. He rolls his eyes. “You wanna bet?”

“Easy. Take a running start and jump through without touching the edges, you win. Otherwise, I win. I’ll even hold it up for you.”

“What are the stakes?”

This is where he wanted to land and Kapkan gladly followed him, possibly knowing full well where this was headed. They eye each other up. “A favour”, Kapkan suggests and couldn’t have been more vague.

Even so. Glaz likes where this is going. “Sounds good. Let’s do it.” He rids himself of his shirt and places all valuable belongings safely out of reach, encouraging Kapkan to do the same, and then walks a good distance away from the pool where Kapkan is standing, holding up the hoop expectantly. And it’d be so easy to win the bet and be owed a favour – so many possibilities. He’d be hard pressed to choose and already, his imagination is providing idea after idea, one more tempting than the next…

Then a whole other prospect enters his mind. It’d be even easier to lose. And end up at Kapkan’s mercy.

He starts jogging, building up speed, gaze fixed on the hoop until Kapkan’s is as well, the other man waiting to see whether the object will wobble from impact, no matter how small, ready to pass judgement on whether he won or lost -

- and then Glaz collides with him and shoves him into the pool.

The splash is extremely satisfying, almost as good as Kapkan’s brief grimace of surprise, shock, and betrayal as he sails through the air, flailing. Glaz almost laughs, gets out a bird-like noise of entertainment before it devolves into a shriek as Kapkan shoots back out of the pool like a crocodile himself, having spotted his prey by the shore, and the next thing Glaz knows are hands around his calves – no, one hand, the other somehow manages to land on his ass but the result is the same, they yank him in together with his previous victim.

Compared to the suffocating humidity outside, the water is refreshingly cool and punches through his consciousness like a shot of caffeine injected directly into his bloodstream, yet what makes the experience all the more powerful are the strong arms enveloping him in a tight embrace. Too tight, he was half on an exhale when going under and wants to swim up but Kapkan doesn’t let him, cradles him close and makes no move to swim to the surface, so Glaz starts struggling. Panic sets in and when he reaches down to pinch Kapkan’s inner thigh as hard as he can, large air bubbles escape the other man’s mouth. At least it’s successful: they rise.

“Fuck”, he spits out when he can breathe can, coughs and coughs into Kapkan’s face because suddenly, he’s too close and did he just try to kiss Glaz while he’s still recovering from nearly drowning? “What are you -”

It was a mistake putting his hand anywhere between Kapkan’s legs. The iron grip around his wrist hurts, even underwater, and his hand is uncomfortably pressed against the other Russian’s swimming trunks. Glaz moves his fingers to not cramp up and oh, hello. At least this time Kapkan’s dick isn’t being shoved into his face. The next attempt is successful and cold lips move against his, hurried, forceful, and then Glaz’ back hits the side of the pool with Kapkan’s body caging him in.

He should’ve known it would be unceremonious like this, the byproduct of a struggle, a line crossed stumbling instead of deliberately stepping over it. “Ask me”, he gasps and gives in, obliges: his fingers wrap around the flesh swelling despite the coolness of the water and he deepens the kiss. But not for long. He won’t be the passive party in this, and he demonstrates it by biting down on a lower lip.

“Like that”, Kapkan purrs against his chest and begins moving his hips against Glaz’ hand, the motion slow and almost sensual. He’s in a world of his own, thinking he’s won a prize of, well, something, thinking he’ll finally get… what? An awkward handjob by someone he was too cowardly to ask outright?

“Ask me”, Glaz repeats with more emphasis and feels his own body react. And how could it not, with a body mirroring his own in strength and build, with Kapkan panting in his ear and forcing his fist to remain where it is so he can fuck it. His fury has evaporated, was probably fed by the underlying anxiousness of quietly getting rejected, but now that it’s quite obvious Kapkan wants the same thing he does, all that’s left is stubbornness. That, and the desire to make Kapkan admit it.

He’s a match, though. Just as pig-headed.

And so, when he still hasn’t said anything else after more aborted kisses, Glaz tightens his grip, tightens it until Kapkan goes very, very still. His eyes are gorgeous up close. Glaz wants to feel him inside so badly, he momentarily forgets what he was doing and revels in the fantasy until a tongue dragging over his mouth catapults him back into the present.

“Suck me”, Kapkan whispers amid the soft gurgling of the waves they’re producing

Jesus fucking Christ. Glaz twirls them around with an annoyed sigh and, while wrestling the other man out of his shorts, hisses: “Why’d it take so fucking long?” All that Kapkan offers is an uncertain look as if he had mild doubts about what he just demanded, but they seem to dissipate as soon as Glaz lifts him out of the water. “Lie back.”

Wordlessly, Kapkan obeys, sits down on the edge, lower legs still dangling in the water, and leans backwards, propping himself up on his elbows so he can watch. His cock is proudly jutting straight up into the air, wet and dark and delicious, and in one fell swoop, Glaz captures its head between his lips.

They don’t have much time. He’ll have to make this quick.

Under the taste of chlorine, there’s skin and Kapkan, and he savours the taste on his tongue as he swirls it around the tip generously. Having draped himself over his friend’s thighs, his weight holds Kapkan down which turns out to be necessary as he’s pushy. His hips twitch and tilt, try to thrust upwards further into Glaz’ mouth and as if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s a hand on his head pushing down.

Somehow, he manages to free himself and glare at his dishevelled friend, flushed and beautiful and flustered – and if it was any other situation, one where time wasn’t of the essence, he’d let Kapkan do whatever he wants. But not now. “I’ll bite”, he warns him seriously, “stop that shit. Behave.”

A curse is his response, but Kapkan obliges and withdraws his arm, and then throws his head back with another swear as Glaz swallows him whole. The flesh is piping hot and rock hard, just like Glaz’ own, and he sucks it down like it’s made of sugar, opens his throat, lets the tip hit the back of it. It pains him that he can’t relish in finally doing this, but hearing all these surprised grunts and sharp breaths has its own merit – not even the cool water can calm the vicious pulsing between Glaz’ legs and he idly tongues the ridge of Kapkan’s glans, wondering what it’d feel like inside him.

When he gets down to business, he can feel Kapkan’s muscles twitching and drinks in every hiss whenever he sucks hard. He’s not teasing anymore, instead bobbing his head in a relatively fast rhythm, using his tongue to exploit that sensitive spot on the underside and massaging the balls with one hand, squeezing out moan after moan. Kapkan is loud, much louder than he expected, and very appreciative. He seems to melt under Glaz’ ministrations and actually relaxes into the stimulation which is, well, lovely, but not goal-oriented. They need to be back in twenty, maybe fifteen minutes. And thanks to Glaz’ stunt earlier, they’ll need to clean up a second time.

He pulls off the cock in his mouth with a wet noise and once again addresses his friend: “Come on. I want to feel you pulsing in my throat.”

It’s more forthright than he’d normally be, but circumstances necessitate it. Not like Kapkan seems to mind, if the scandalised yet intrigued expression is anything to go by – he also tenses up noticeably as Glaz takes him back in to the hilt, stomach muscles fluttering and contracting when Glaz reaches up to gently rub over an erect nipple. “Filthy mouth”, Kapkan rumbles and lets out an echoing moan when his nipple is twisted between two fingers. He’s so hot. Glaz wishes he could blow him for hours, but alas. “Never would’ve guessed you’re that perverted. Go deeper. Yes.”

Glaz nearly chokes himself on Kapkan’s dick with no regrets and increases the tempo, sucks even harder and deprives himself of oxygen, and the pay-off is worth it. With another loud groan, Kapkan shudders, his entire body going taut, and his cock throbs in Glaz’ mouth, shooting out bitter liquid in spurts, in time with soft rolls of his hips. He finally made him come, finally blew him to completion and it was everything he hoped for. Watching Kapkan’s expression slip from need to utter bliss is as satisfying as he’d hoped, and he gladly swallows around the erection clogging his throat.

When he pulls free again, his friend is lying flat on the tiles, breathing hard and contemplating existence. He looks shattered, more spent than after a training session and Glaz would really like to hug him. Instead, he instinctively reaches down and grabs his neglected cock, harder than it’s been for weeks (since the day he made an implicit bet with Kapkan and went to bed early, dreaming up scenarios similar to this one). Right in front of him, a naked Kapkan is recovering from what looks like to have been a mind-blowing orgasm, and as Glaz takes him all in, marvels at his form, the softening dick gives a last feeble twitch.

Shit.

Okay, he’ll be quick.

He discards his own swimwear, just leaves it floating away, and lifts himself out of the water. Kapkan has barely time to react before Glaz is straddling him, trying not to cream himself from the skin contact alone, and as revenge for all the shoving previously, Glaz guides one of his friend’s hands between their naked bodies. “Do it”, he prompts quietly, desperation colouring his voice and Kapkan must’ve noticed or else he might not have complied so fast. Calloused fingers close around Glaz’ shaft and dear god, this will be an embarrassingly quick affair.

Kapkan wastes no time and jerks him fast from the get-go, almost brutal (probably how he himself likes it and the thought causes Glaz’ knees to go weak), and it’s not only water droplets hitting Kapkan’s flat belly now. The sudden intense stimulation has Glaz whimpering and fighting it, wanting more or maybe less, who’s to say – certainly not his short-circuited mind. He barely has the brain capacity left to suck Kapkan’s other middle finger into his mouth but he does notice his friend’s eyes darkening upon the realisation.

When the finger enters him, he buries his face in the crook of Kapkan’s neck and moans. He imagines it’s Kapkan himself, pictures them rolling around on a mattress with all the time in the world, harsh thrusts and nails raking over his back and Kapkan stares into his soul as he pumps load after load into him, and Glaz is moving his hips now, grinding down against Kapkan’s hand and he doesn’t care how fucking needy he must seem because he wants this. The hand on his cock is merciless, the speed unwavering and it’s flirting with being too much – there’s vague pain there but isn’t that normal, where Kapkan is concerned?

The digit inside buries itself even deeper and brushes over his sweet spot which he rewards with a whine, so Kapkan does it again and again, and with several weeks’ worth of anticipation, with the memory of a hard dick poking his cheek, with Kapkan’s taste still on his tongue, Glaz is shoved over the edge. He shivers violently, isn’t even sure what kind of noise escapes his lips as his climax shakes him to the core, traps him in ecstasy for half an eternity during which he’s hardly aware of anything around him – and when he realises he’s coming all over Kapkan’s chest while his friend is milking him expertly enough to prolong his orgasm, it’s another half. Kapkan lets him ride it out and brings him down gently, doesn’t overdo it and withdraws when Glaz puts a hand on his wrist.

Glaz’ relief is overwhelming and lasts throughout his afterglow: a minute or two during which he sits up, calms his racing heartbeat and inspects the mess he made on pale skin before him. They finally did it. And Kapkan doesn’t even look like he regrets it. He… looks like nothing, really, expression empty as he doesn’t even move to wipe the semen off him, and doubts slowly begin to overtake the pleasant exhaustion in Glaz’ bones.

“Can I kiss you?”, he asks meekly and feels silly, perched on top of another man who had his finger inside him mere minutes ago, and yet he’s not confident enough to just lean down and do it.

Kapkan examines him attentively. “Don’t make this weird.”

“You made it weird a long time ago.”

Visibly uncomfortable with the topic, Kapkan drags him down with enough force to make their teeth click, and though the angle is odd and their noses are in the way, the gesture counts. Glaz feels his muscles relax during the brief kiss and smiles as he comes back for air. When Kapkan smiles back, the fact that they still have to clean everything, including themselves, and that they’ll be really late with no excuse at all loses its threat.

They shower together, joking some more about the SAS operators’ pool habits, and then quickly sweep the floor once again. Stepping out into the blinding sunshine is like running into a wall, the heat is unbearable and tiring. Glaz almost wants to fall asleep standing up.

“Just so we’re clear, you lost that bet”, Kapkan tells him, blinking into the brightness instead of looking him in the eyes. “So you owe me a favour.”

Glaz’ lips curl into a grin. “Of course. You only need to ask.”

And while Kapkan doesn’t respond, there’s a certain glint in his eye which is full of promises and reassurance.

[silversoulstardust]

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

I was tagged by @plusultratempo , thanks for the tag babe!

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?: Purple-pink

2. Name a food you never eat?: a blowfish

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold?: too cold! my fingers get icy real quick so I like to touch people’s neck with it and make them jump heheh :p 

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?: work work work. i’m still at work but it’s been chill so I’m taking the time to go through these questions teehee

5. What is your favorite candy bar?: kit-kat and twix, i can’t choose just one!

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event?: hockey. my college was big on hockey so they made us students go to live matches for moral support. free food and fun time with friends even though I know nothing about hockey? lol sign me up

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?: “I’m gonna kill you!” *me, to flies buzzing around in my room*

8. What is your favorite ice cream?: vanilla with chocolate chips

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?: mineral water

10. Do you like your wallet?: i feel... neutral about it. it’s an old one from Esprit, my boyfriend gave it to me when we first started dating

11. What was the last thing you ate?: rice with chicken and vegetables

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: lol yeah a karasuno jacket

13. The last sporting event you watched?: does haikyuu matches count? because i really cant recall any lol 

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?: caramel

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: my boyfriend, bragging about how I successfully made a Japanese strawberry shortcake lol 

16. Ever go camping?: yes! its fun!

17. Do you take vitamins?: not everyday because im forgetful 

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?: nope, not a christian 

19. Do you have a tan?: lol im asian i dont get tan i am tanned 

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?: pizza ftw 

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?: No, it feels better to chug it 

22. What color socks do you usually wear?: colorful ones bc fuck norm

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?: almost exclusively. i know where the speed traps are on my route to work so i’d slow down near the area. i’m lucky there’s no police patrol ambushing speedy people on my way to work

24. What terrifies you?: cockroaches. i’d scream bloody murder, even at 3am

25. Look to your left, what do you see?: a calculator

26. What chore do you hate?: ironing clothes. i always end up burning through precious blouses and it irritates me so much 

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?: my boyfriend. he’s working in Australia and he’s speaking like one now 

28. What’s your favorite soda?: coca-cola

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?: Drive thru. less interaction with people and I don’t even have to leave my car so I can just go in my pajamas 

30. Who’s the last person you talked to?: a patient

31. Favorite cut of beef?: tenderloin i guess? im not really sure 

32. Last song you listened to?: centimilimental - i want to die 

33. Last book you read?: The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

34. Favorite day of the week?: Saturday, when you’re in the sweet spot of weekend, not thinking about it ending soon like Sunday

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards?: lol no 

36. How do you like your coffee?: with brown sugar and a little milk

37. Favorite pair of shoes?: i have this comfortable heels for work that i wear everywhere bc it makes me taller lol 

38. The time you normally go to sleep?: it depends entirely on my work schedule the next day lol 

39. The time you normally get up?: it depends entirely on my work schedule on the day lol 

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?: sunsets. something magical i cant explain 

41. How many blankets on your bed?: I live in a tropical climate bruh. one is enough. 

42. Describe your kitchen plates: it’s made out of corell and it has orange-grey flowery design 

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?: i’ve been sober for almost 2 years now but i really liked vodka 

44. Do you play cards?: if you mean uno, yes. 

45. What color is your car?: milky white

46. Can you change a tire?: nope

47. Your favorite province?: do people have a favorite province??? lol 

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had?: it wasn’t an official job but i used to bake and sell muffins at college to fund for my travel so that’s that

49. How did you get your biggest scar?: i was two?? i think when i played with my cousin’s trophy and hit myself with it. got a huge laceration wound on my eyebrow. you can still see it if you stare hard enough lol 

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy?: im pretty sure helping someone stay alive can make them happy. that’s my job scope lol 

tagging babes @berrynthewood @tinxies @kaidasen & @mygeekcorner ! do it when you have the time k no pressure <3 

[secretshinigami]

Cozied Up

Author: @hazblogs For: @missmomentss Pairings/Characters: Amane Misa, L, mentions of Light and Beyond Rating/Warnings: Gen, no warnings Prompt: Misa and L have a sleepover party

Author’s notes: hullo ! i loved the idea of L and Misa being friends and i hope this little thing conveys how much i enjoyed writing it. hope y'all like it ! special thanks to Mic for the lovely prompts, enjoy !

Misa looks at her phone and sighs. “He ain’t coming. I fucking knew it,” she says to the figure hunched over her computer. “He told me he’d make it ! What a fucking dickhead.”

“Language,” the figure says. “You should have known he would ditch.”

Misa can almost hear a grumbled “Beyond owes me ten thousand yens”, but she chooses not to raise it. Light can miss the fun, for all she cares, and she’ll just have a cozy time with her friend. “L,” she asks, “d’you think you’ll let me curl your hair this time ?”

“Absolutely not,” L answers. “Last time I saw you do it, you burned Beyond’s hair off.”

“I promise I’ve been getting better at it ! It’s just so hard to do it on another person,” she whines, but L looks so deadpan that her explanation might not make the cut. “Why did you even come,” she continues, “since you don’t wanna play princess.”

“I never said I was adverse to make-up,” L says, almost as low as a whisper, and Misa’s eyes glint. “I just care about the excess keratin I have on my scalp.”

“Such a glamorous way to put it,” she laughs.

Truth be told, it’s quite fun to spend an evening alone with L. She doesn’t think they’ve ever done that before – in all of the year they’ve known each other, she’s seen him exclusively with Light and those weird underclassmen. And Beyond, but that’s another story – she’s actually friends with the guy. She couldn’t believe it when she heard a bunch of exchange students from Britain would come for the semester, and she certainly didn’t expect them to all stay, but hey, sometimes life happens.

The lights in her room are dim, she likes it better this way – she’s always been a goth, and it’s not about to stop, but L is squinting at the computer screen and muttering something about her being a vampire. She does look the part, wearing her pyjamas, which consist of a fancy red camisole she put on just in case Light showed up, and a swishy pair of shorts made of the same silky material. She looks cute, and she can feel that L is perfectly oblivious to that fact. What a gay, she thinks. Not that she isn’t bisexual herself, she just thinks it’s funny when her tricks don’t work on people.

“Hey,” L says after a while of him scrolling down whatever horror detective manga he wanted to read, and her scrolling through Instagram. “I’m hungry.”

“I have… uh, let me think.” Truth be told, she has plenty of stuff, but she isn’t sure L eats any of it. “I have carrots ?”

“I eat that,” L says, “gimme. If you don’t have chocolate, I will riot,” he adds, and just the thought of L doing something this physically intense sends her howling, holding her ribs as she flails on the bed, disrupting L’s hunched up position. “Oh come on,” he says, “it wasn’t that funny.”

“Dear, you underestimate yourself,” Misa simply says, before getting up to grab the carrots. She also takes some chocolate, Light’s favourite, but hey, if he wanted it that badly, he could have come. They munch on the carrots in silence, and Misa swears she can see L’s raccoon eyes lose some of their shadow from the sheer power of carrot vitamins. “Whatchu wanna do ?” she asks when they’ve finished the whole bag, and L is eating chocolate faster than Mello can say “I hate Near”. Which, all things considered, is pretty impressive.

“I don’t know,” L answers. “You’re the girl, you’re supposed to know what sleepovers are like.”

“How sexist of you,” Misa says airily. She doesn’t mind L’s misogyny as much as she should, but hey, being a teen idol does that to you. “Now would be when I paint your nails and you tell me about your crush on my hot boyfriend, and we – I mean it, we eat all the chocolate.”

L splutters for a few seconds (completely silent and lips moving, at least), and says, “I don’t have a crush on Light-kun. He is my friend.”

“Right,” Misa mocks, “and you’re not gay, and Light doesn’t have the hots for you as well. I know,” she adds after L sends her a slightly bewildered look. “I just… y’know, if he hated me that much, he’d break up ? And he’d date you, finally, instead of-” she blushes and stops at that, because the memory is both fun and painful. Who moans someone else’s name when they make out ?

Light, apparently.

“I’m not averse to nail polish,” L merely says after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. “Though please, no yellow.”

“Me ? Owning yellow nail polish ? Who do you take me for ?” Misa smirks. “Let’s go for the basics. You’ll look good with black.”

L does look a bit miffed by the smell, so she reluctantly cracks a window open, and they spend the next hour slowly but surely making their way through all fourty of their fingernails. Misa’s hands are perfect, because of course they are, but L has those little white specks on his nails that make Misa tut. When she’s done, she finally drops the little brush back in the bottle and shakes her hands vigorously, hoping the polish will dry faster that way.

“You know that’s-”

“Completely useless, yeah,” Misa finishes before L has the time to speak more.

“I wanted to say that it’s spreading the toxic fumes in my direction, but also that, yeah.”

“Oh, fuck off !” Misa says, but she’s smiling.

L smiles back. It’s a little crooked, a little froggy, a little… uneven. She doesn’t know his life story, but she’s gathered enough to know it’s not glamorous – she’s glad she can put a little sprinkle of glitter here and there.

—

L goes to sleep at a regular hour for him (five in the morning, could be worse) and he sleeps in that weird crouched position – upright, knees drawn, eyes open at first. Misa thinks it’s bizarre, but she has learned not to judge. They had fun, watching a few Youtube videos for what Misa calls “Making The Weird British Kids Catch Up With Life”, talking about – she doesn’t even remember, she’s too tired. She falls asleep not long after L, curled up by his side, and she thinks that, in spite of the odds, in spite of it all, she actually did make a friend out there.

[necropsittacus]

answer all the ones you have an interesting answer for, i guess?

i had FAR too much fun with this and it’s horrifically long so. Apologies For That. also thank you friend

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)i really want some finches, when i'm actually in a place to care for an animal? maybe a pigeon3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?in real life i actually Wear button downs and black jeans most of the time for convenience. *ideally* it would be something more like "unholy union of like three different goth aesthetics, and sith fashion, and also Pirate. and spikes/chains/glowy lights." it's probably good for everyone else's eyes that i'm too cheap to redo my entire wardrobe in line with my ideal aesthetic sensibilities. i also have a set color scheme; at most one bright color, which is generally red, blue, or purple, and everything else should be black or grey. 8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]melancholic with choleric leanings.9: Are you ticklish?nope! im pretty sure i trained myself out of it 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?tea. i like the taste of coffee if it's very heavily creamed and sugared but it does terrible things to my body so i don't drink it. too much chocolate also makes me sick14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?VAMPIRE. practically already am. 16: How tall are you?5'7"-5'8". measurements have varied. 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?starscreamthis one is Already a name change? i've been through a few names and honestly i'm pretty happy with "ren." i thought about changing to something people could actually spell right on the first try, but nothing Felt right? 20: Do you like space or the ocean more?ocean! but both are pretty neat21: Are you religious?yes, but it's not remotely clear what i actually believe, just that it's Something  23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?i'm already practically nocturnal tbh and it's fun 30: Favorite movie?i really appreciate the star wars prequels32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?nine; six fish and three budgies, not all at the same time37: What is your eye color?green38: Introvert or extrovert?i think the whole dichotomy is a bit overhyped and doesn't exactly apply to me. my situation is more that i act like extroverts are "supposed" to with close friends but people i don't already know and like very much are deeply exhausting to be around and i'd rather not40: Hugs or kisses?depends. hand/forehead/cheek/etc kisses are intensely blessed and important to me, but i don't particularly enjoy making out or whatnot, and hugs are Very nice. 42: Who is someone you love deeply?tumblr user @autisticsansa​44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?yeah!45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?yeah, occasionally. obligatory disclaimer that it's a terrible habit and you shouldn't start. it's more a "i'm extremely anxious and need to do SOMETHING" thing than a regular habit, though. 57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]several. it's just not 100% clear which ones. the most recent Professional Opinion was OCD and CPTSD with probably related anxiety and depression. also autism but i don't think that's quite the same thing58: What does your URL mean?it's a pun on "neurodivergent" that i stole from someone else's post about liches61: What makes you unfollow a blog?if your opinions start pissing me off too much or you post things i consider morally objectionable or dangerous to me. also if we have a sufficiently bad personal fight. i don't really care if a mutual or someone i've been following for a long time stops having common interests with me or anything like that, at that point i'm invested in You as a Person and will stick around for that64: Favorite animal(s):all birds. also cetaceans69: What is your star sign?i'm a fake scorpio. i have been telling people i'm a scorpio and tagging zodiac posts accordingly for literal years, out of a combination of the stereotype applying to me much better than the one for my Actual Birthday and residual influence from homestuck. 76: Do you like birds?i LOVE birds.86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?i can't run a mile at ALL i'll have an asthma atatck88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?no and trying hurts90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?goth cockatoo94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?both of those sound fantastic. i want to say fly, though, both because bird thing!!!!, my latest batch of Attachment/Projection Characters has me thinking about the idea a lot, and mind reading seems like it would likely become a burden on me. i struggle enough with other people's feelings about me as it is96: Winter or summer?winter. summer is consistently a miserable time for me101: Favorite type of shoesaesthetically, high heeled black lace up boots. irl i mostly wear combat boots, though103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?vegetarian. i don't really Know why; it was how i was raised, i have no actual desire to eat meat, and i'm reasonably certain trying to start now would interact disastrously with a lot of my preexisting food issues. also, some of you are incapable of not responding to asshole vegans by acting like eating meat is a moral imperative and it's ok to bully people who don't. so even if i did want to, i wouldn't out of sheer spite106: Do you like bugs?depends on the kind. bees/wasps, dragonflies, and butterfly/moth type things are all fine. i'm deathly afraid of crickets107: Do you like spiders?yeah! i think they're cute109: Can you draw:not very well, but i keep doing it anyway114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?cloudy. bright light tends to hurt me115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:i'm in an odd place right now where i'm either not sure if the people i'm closest to (and/or most want to Become close with) would be comfortable with anything of the sort, or know for a fact that they wouldn't be, so i'm going to refrain from naming anyone, but certain friends129: What would you want written on your tombstone?"túrin turambar dagnir glaurunga." for old times' sake/the sentimental value. i doubt christopher tolkien would give anyone permission for that, though131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?arrogance, ambition, drive to succeed out of sheer Spite. it's a very good aesthetic, but i don't imagine it's very pleasant to actually *interact* with someone with a complex about being #1 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?nope. i exclusively either smirk or keep my face as blank as possible; i don't think smiling like that looks good on me. 133: Computer or TV?computer. i don't actually know how to operate a television139: What nicknames do you have/have had?a lot. tends to come with changing your name 500 times. atm i don't really have any, to my slight disappointment140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?i had imaginary enemies as a kid143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?depends? it's hard for me to help people, especially to guess what kind of thing actually Is helpful to them, and i absolutely LOVE being given things, but also if i know someone well enough that we're giving each other things i would feel absolutely terrible not reciprocating, and doing it makes me happy. 145: How many languages do you speak fluently?only english, unfortunately. i have like a six year olds level of russian, which i want to improve, and i think i Could get there with japanese eventually if i start taking classes again147: Are you androgynous?honestly i can't really tell? not deliberately so, particularly, but i think i have a very Traditionally Feminine kind of pretty face and the way that combines with mostly masculine presentation and facial hair is pretty androgynous148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:this isn't a Specific Thing per se, but i do think HRT has been taking my appearance in a very "g1 seeker" direction and i am DELIGHTED151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?hm. viking stuff is a Big Aesthetic, but also i think i deserve to be a sickly victorian gentleman and die of tuberculosis154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?YES. this is one of my favorite forms of affection irl. also hand kissing is The Most Valid kind of kissing. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?yes!!!157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:talking to people when i'm not 100% sure where i stand with them or how much they like me. especially if i'm requesting anything.168: Do you like to wear makeup?i used to. i probably still would if i could do it without being read as a woman, but as it is the discomfort of being misgendered outweighs the joy of Having Sparkly Colors on My Face

[glitterghast]

tell me more abt the modern au .... pls

okay so i completely let myself get carried away with this au. like…i need to put it all under a cut so that people don’t wind up with a massive wall of text on their dashboards

so yeah, it’s modern day and a poly au and the best way i can think to describe it all is through dot-points. but essentially, it starts before they all even know each other.

Jenny:

- likes girls and guys, with a slight preference for girls

- wears skinny jeans and oversized hoodies, or pretty dresses and cardigans. no in between

- a nurse at the local hospital, works with patsy

- was dating jimmy before she even knew any of the others

- listen,,, poly jenny/jimmy/alec technically kickstarted the entire poly ship in this au 

- meets trixie through some first aid course she was conned into doing at the school

- they kinda danced around their mutual crush for a while before jimmy and alec did the whole “oh yeah why don’t the four of us go out tonight- whoops we suddenly can’t go, guess it’s just you two” kinda thing

- always has to be the first one awake in the morning

- almost always arguing with patsy over how things should be organised. they can never agree

- she swears the most out of everyone 

Trixie:

- likes girls and guys equally. bisexual and not afraid to call you out on your bullshit stereotypes

- no change of fashion from canon

- dyes her hair weird colours

- has a history of addiction that she’s almost entirely recovered from by the time she meets everyone else

- works as a kindergarten teacher

- has known cynthia for a year; lived in the apartment across from her and gives her lifts to work

- dated cynthia before they met any of the others, even if they’d never admit they were a couple

- drinks too much coffee

- needs to kiss everyone before she leaves for work

- is okay with clutter as long as the Aesthetic™ of the room isn’t ruined

- has a huge dog called max who she dresses up in baby bonnets and carries everywhere

- loves the dog filter, won’t rest until she can get it to recognise max’s face 

- tries to be BFFs with her girlfriends’ mothers 

Cynthia:

- aroace. gets defensive when people think it means she just can’t date people

- has that sort of ‘skirts and peter pan blouses’ look, never really wears anything too colourful, always wears stockings despite the weather

- long history of mental illness; has had trixie drive her to therapy on multiple occasions

- works at the local library and bookstore

- volunteers at the parish hall and animal shelter

- (it’s entirely her fault that trixie has max)

- has a therapy cat named mary

- met jenny through trixie. they were kinda awkward for a while but…well this is a poly au so the rest is history

- often winds up the middle of cuddle puddles 

- officially dubbed the baby of the group by patsy 

- actually gets the angriest out of everyone 

- can remember everyone’s routines and eating habits. knows just how each person likes their coffee/tea/hot chocolate and what mug they like it in 

- knows how to dupe everyone else in every game ever. mario kart? always knows the shortcuts and always chooses rainbow road. monopoly? always ends up with hotels on every space. uno? somehow manages to have an endless supply of +4 cards

Barbara:

- fluctuates between saying she’s bi and saying she’s pan. has a preference for guys

- wears cute pinafores and overalls, huge collection of socks 

- has a huge collection of cacti and succulents, calls them her children

- somehow always manages to have a smudge of dirt somewhere

- likes pineapple on pizza 

- works at a cafe in town, knows patsy and delia from how frequently they eat there

- lived with them for a while after her apartment building was scheduled to be knocked down

- effectively the constant third-wheel

- went to school with trixie, had a huge crush on her 

- it takes her ages to figure out that trixie’s dating jenny and cynthia (and by this point that relationship is sorta starting to merge with delia and patsy)

- so it actually kinda takes her ages to join the entire relationship herself 

- (it’s totally patsy and delia who set her up w/ trixie lbh)

- was kinda scared of max for a while

- tries to be the peacekeeper of the group but it rarely works 

- idk whether or not tom exists in this au or not

Patsy:

- trans lesbian

- wears flannel all the time

- “if people can’t tell i’m gay within a second of meeting me, then what’s the point?”

- the only one who doesn’t celebrate christmas, begrudgingly deals with delia going overboard every year 

- constantly exhausted but “coffee is for the weak”

- will kill a man if she doesn’t get nine hours of sleep 

- delia’s high school sweetheart

- gay matchmaker. are you straight? she’ll find you someone that’ll make you rethink that

- tries to keep everyone else on a schedule, but it never works 

- can’t cook for shit 

- like seriously she nearly burned the house down trying to boil an egg 

- wants to be a writer, can’t find a moment of peace 

- A+ comfort-cuddler (needless to say, she’s really bad at seeking comfort when she’s the one who needs it)

- always has a mini first-aid kit on hand (for delia. she’s the only one who ever needs it)

- kicks in her sleep 

Delia:

- really fucking gay but i don’t need to tell you that

- legitimately gets offended when people think she could ever like a guy

- deaf. she’s deaf. the most concrete headcanon in this au 

- had adhd and a lack of self preservation 

- always covered in plasters

- will climb/drink/eat/do anything for money

- an artist, goes from job to job most of the time

- paints on the walls, the ceiling, the banister

- paints on barbara while she sleeps 

- once painted the door handle to patsy’s room because she wouldn’t buy milk 

- gets drunk and gives herself and/or trixie stick-n-pokes 

- takes super long showers, uses the hot water 

- totally didn’t mean to send those nudes to you 

- steals people’s clothes 

Valerie:

- nonbinary

- likes girls exclusively, but has only had boyfriends before (in high school)

- wears horrid 80s fashion (but will always let trixie dress her up)

- plays old video games. she’s really bad at them

- manager at the cafe babs works at 

- went to school with cynthia 

- join the poly group way later

- starts dating trixie and dates only her for a long while (see: nearly a year) before joining the cuddle puddle and moving in

- she and delia argue about pointless shit a lot 

- someone takes their eye off her for a second and she winds up in some small-town jail in scotland 

- sleeps in the latest 

- takes people on the cutest dates 

- rivals trixie for being the neediest affection-wise

so that’s like. the main group. but then you have jimmy and alec who’re dating jenny (and each other) and they’re like…the OG cuddle puddle so i’m gonna include them too even though they don’t move into the same flat like the rest 

Jimmy:

- small bi trans guy 

- like seriously he used to hold the half-inch he had on jenny over her head, and then they met alec and now he has to come to terms with his shortness 

- been dating jenny for like…a while 

- they kind of told people they were dating just so they’d stop asking questions but then it just sort of…became a real thing

- they came out to their parents together because they’re kind of inseparable 

- met alec through working as a carpenter and was like “holy shit i wanna kiss him but i can’t reach his face”

- eventually they came to the decision that it’d be alright if he kissed alec

- so he did? it was very unexpected for everyone involved 

- weirdly enough jimmy’s the start of the poly au 

- shares trixie’s love for the dog filter 

- has This Look when he wants kisses (it always works)

Alec:

- tall™

- dresses all smart and shit but also has a bunch of hoodies (that jimmy and jenny steal)

- is competitive with jenny over everything: finishing books first, getting through the door quicker, giving jimmy more kisses in a day, putting the most juice in their glass without it spilling over 

- doesn’t Get™ snapchat or any other type of social media 

- actually really good at drawing 

- secret art BFFs with delia 

- building inspector; nearly fell through a hole in the ground because he got distracted by jimmy 

- likes to see how much she can annoy jenny before she says something

then there’s like. extra characters who aren’t part of this giant fucking cuddle puddle they’re just there (but they’re important i promise you)

phyllis:

- lives in the flat next to the one the girls move into 

- a retired nurse 

- tries not to be so stern now that she isn’t a nurse anymore

- doesn’t succeed but at least she has a massive soft side

- lives with five cats 

- looks after mary sometimes 

- doesn’t like max at all 

- tries to teach her cats spanish 

- the others worried that she’d be super homophobic but she adores the giant gay family that lives next door 

- delia’s her favourite, though 

- purely because she witnessed her follow patsy barefoot out into the rain, yell “shoe’s are for pussies”, then proceed to climb patsy’s side like a fucking animal and cling to her while the taller girl kept walking 

dr. turner:

- still married to shelagh with all their children dw 

- works with jenny and patsy at the hospital 

- (i still haven’t decided whether shelagh works at the same hospital) 

- he’s basically who patsy and jimmy see about hormones n stuff like that 

- so in the end he kinda finds out about this huge relationship because how else could two of his patients be dating another nurse at the hospital 

- he’s p cool but he’s not really a main part in the au, so i don’t have much of a story for the turner family Whoops 

so that's...essentially it?? tl;dr: jenny knows trixie through work, and meets cynthia through trixie. they meet patsy, jimmy and alec through jenny, and through patsy they meet delia and barbara. and then through barbara they meet valerie. dr. turner and shelagh work with jenny and patsy. and phyllis is their next-door neighbour who probably puts up with far too much shit. this entire response is 6-7 pages in a word document. thank you

[serensama]

To Date #6

EMO CUPCAKE IT’S GONNA BE OK! JUST BREATHE SAERAN… The date will be over soon O_O

*Also in my universe V is always around. Always. Because… it’s V.

Saeran:

 -       What do you mean he had to take MC out on a date?

-       Weren’t they already a couple? Why did they need to go out and prove it to the world?

-       HAS LITERALLY NEVER HAD A PARTNER BEFORE HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

-       He chose MC, she chose him = end of story

-       End of story + ice cream = super happy ending?

-       NO?

-       NO

-       Damn it.

-       Gathering what little pride he had, he dragged himself to his brother’s room where he and Yoosung were raiding in LOLOL, Saeyoung laughing maniacally and Yoosung swearing like a drunken sailor

-       “Yo! Baby brother what can I do for you? Wha-Yoosung! What the hell?! We’re on the same team!”

        “It was friendly fire”

        “You came up and decapitated me”

        “… But I did it as nicely as possible”

-       Saeran rolled his eyes and went to walk back out, not understanding why he thought it was a good idea to come to them for advice in the first place.

-       Saeyoung quit the game much to the horror of Yoosung and the rest of his group to chase after his brother. Yoosung begrudgingly apologised to the guild saying something important had come up and that they’d be back later.

-       “Forget it,” Saeran barked to a hovering Saeyoung, “-it’s not important! I just came in to see you guys.”

-       Saeyoung knew he was lying because he refused to meet his eyes.

-       Then Yoosung started in on “Come on let us help!” and between the two of them Saeran couldn’t get a word in edgewise before he screamed out “FINE! WHAT DO I DO FOR MY FIRST DATE WITH MC?”

-       Yoosung and Saeyoung suddenly grew hearts within their eyes as they rubbed their cheeks together and clasped hands

        “Oh my baby has grown up”

        “Shut up”

        “Hyung Saeran has become a man”

        “…Like you’re one to talk”

        “Do you know where babies come from?”

        “Seriously?”

        “I don’t.”

        “That’s no surprise Yoosung”

        “Wait…  so, no one is going to tell me!?”

-       Sitting down the boys try to tell Saeran how most girls like to go out to eat and perhaps watch a movie or a show… seeing as MC was from the same social circles as Jumin and V she probably enjoyed 5 star restaurants and operas… fancy things fit for a Princess… and she was his Princess right?

-       Growling as he skimmed his hand over his face he allowed the boys to tell him where the best restaurants in town were, what he should wear and how he should act: i.e.… be everything that wasn’t him. He didn’t do polite conversation. He barely did conversation. Grunts. Grunts and psychotic laughter was kind of his thing.

-       MC liked it anyways.

-       He called her and asked her out which surprised her to no end, feeling like an idiot he ended up snarling, “Well didja wanna go or not?” which resulted in her chuckling and agreeing. Of course, she would love to go out with him!

-       Borrowing one of his brother’s babies (“If there’s so much as one scratch or one suspect stain in her leather Saeran!!!”) he sped off to pick up MC.

-       She was already waiting on the street looking ridiculously ravishing in a light pink dress that matched his hair… did she wear that to match him? That would be… really sweet actually

-       Leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek and wiping off the lipstick that marked him (not that he minded) MC happily greeted her boyfriend

-       It took a minute before she really saw the effort he went to. Hair quaffed to perfection (thanks to Zen rushing over to make sure he wasn’t going to attack MC during the date- who was then horrified to see the state of his hair as he was about to step out the door), his dark blue suit courtesy of Jumin who had one of his tailors bring something suitable for the date… not one buckle in sight, not one choker…

-       It wasn’t that she didn’t like the new look, MC thought he looked incredibly dapper and handsome… but she always thought that about him no matter what he wore, still, she smiled and tried to ease his obvious discomfort by saying how amazing he looked.

-       Some tension leaving his countenance Saeran drove off to get to the most exclusive restaurant that needed MONTHS to get a booking- though thanks to V they got one at the last minute (he provided the photography that graced their walls as décor, he always got a seat whenever he wanted).

-       He may or may not have accidentally threatened the valet driver instead of tipping him… old habits die hard

-       Offering his arm to MC who looked utterly shocked at his showing of manners he didn’t know whether to be offended or amused (definitely… amused, he wasn’t always the most courteous of people and often came off as brusque even to the woman he loved).

-       Sitting down he looked around at the place. It was pretty- he guessed. The place looked nice, the staff looked nice, the food looked nice… god even the air smelt nice.

-       He hated it.

-       He was ridiculously uncomfortable there. People bowing and calling him “Sir”, people pulling out chairs for him like he was an idiot… people looking at him knowing that he didn’t belong in a place like this with a girl like MC. Like he was trash… he’d felt that way all his life he didn’t need to be reminded of it in a place where he was paying for everything.

-       The waiter handed them the menu and Saeran opened up the menu and saw that it was all in French… because of course it was… and inwardly groaned.

-       The waiter came back and started speaking with MC who gave her order succinctly and then realised that Saeran may have had no idea what he was looking at… with a hand over her mouth denoting her shame she asked if needed a few more minutes to choose…

-       “We have the menu in Korean if that would assist you… Sir”

-       Bitch. No, you didn’t.

-       Squinting his cerulean eyes at the arrogant penguin order taker, Saeran proceeded to order his entire meal and the proper accompanying wine in fluent French. Saeyoung wasn’t the only Choi with a penchant for learning languages.

-       Blushing before bowing, the waiter left the two to their own devices.

-       MC could see that Saeran was putting on a front for her sake, (not that he had to she loved him for being him- not what he thought she wanted him to be)… she just didn’t want to waste all the effort he had obviously gone through for her sake.

-       Their meal came along and it was the tiniest effing thing he had ever seen in his life. Like seriously. He was paying $100 for a piece of meat that was half the size of his palm. What the hell was wrong with rich people?

-       As they were about to order dessert he overheard a couple to the far right of them making snooty comments about him and how far had MC fallen to be with someone like him- and oooooh god normally he’d let them have it, but it was their first date and everyone explicitly told him to be on his best behaviour and not embarrass MC by getting into any fights…

-       “Who the hell do you think you are? Do you know him? Do you know what he means to me? Do you even know who I am apart from what my bank account says? You all disgust me!” MC spat her face contorted with rage.

-       She was making a scene; the entire restaurant was paralysed and shocked.

-       “Come on Saeran, let’s leave this shit hole, their steak was over cooked anyways and the clientele here leave much to be desired for.”

-       His mouth was a little dry from drooling at how hot his girlfriend was when she defended him.

-       Wiping his mouth with his napkin before folding it neatly on the table, he sat up and offered his arm to her again. As they turned to leave, just before they stepped off the dining floor, he flipped them all off from behind him and yelled out, “Later jackasses!”

-       He finally tipped the valet driver, the only nice person in the restaurant.

-       MC was silent throughout the car ride home, her anger palpable. Saeran was disappointed that it couldn’t be like the dates she was used to; he’d have to try harder next time… maybe if he dyed his hair back to its normal red he wouldn’t look like such a punk…

-       About ¾ of the way home MC perked up and slapped at his arm for him to pull over.

-       It was just a typical run of the mill 24-hour diner where they served the greasiest food perfect after a night on the town… or after an overpriced meal that left them starving.

-       They ran into the diner and it was dive, the leather of the booths torn and patched up with duct tape, the floor tiles were streaked with sneaker marks and chipped and the décor so mismatched and hideous he didn’t know what their theme was.

-       He loved it.

-       Even if it was a shonky looking place it was clean and it was busy so it mustn’t be a terrible place to eat.

-       Sliding (squeaking) along the last empty booth in the corner the regulars of the diner looked at MC as if she was the outsider but she didn’t seem to notice or care, her eyes only focused on Saeran. She was doing this for him, he might not know everything about dating or wines or suits but he knew MC- she was a good person and this was her way of salvaging their date.

-       They laughed and poked fun at their disaster of an evening, mimicking the confounded expressions of the people as MC insulted them causing them to burst out in breathless laughter- the others in the diner smiling at the cute couple… they were so dressed up surely they came from a Prom or something?

-       When Saeran’s order of a chocolate sundae came out along with MC’s giant order of fries, they both sat and ate in silence- Saeran not protesting whenever MC would dip her salty fries into his sweet dessert.

-       Really… why did he even bother asking those idiots in the first place? He knew MC better than anyone… and they had already chosen each other… the first date was just an excuse for ice cream.

[argonapricot]

all of them

ALEX THERE ARE TWO HUNDRED OF THESE PLS

200: My crush’s name is: Nupur199: I was born in: is this asking for time or place198: I am really: too tired to be dealing with this rn197: My cellphone company is: verizon I think196: My eye color is: brown. like 20% hazel-ish if you squint195: My shoe size is: 9 1/2194: My ring size is: uh193: My height is: 5′5″192: I am allergic to: capital pi191: My 1st car was: lol190: My 1st job was: working as a Hebrew teacher? That is. Still my job.189: Last book you read: Invisible Man for school, Adaptation by Melinda Lo outside of it, and I’m currently working on a book written about Tolkien.188: My bed is: A CASTLE IT’S THE BEST BED OKAY187: My pet: Sasha and Maya, the bestest cats186: My best friend: “””””””””””””””””you”””””””””””””””””” that’s a lie it really is you

185: My favorite shampoo is: I use Pantene but like. I don’t really think of shampoo in terms of favorites?184: Xbox or ps3: what are those183: Piggy banks are: c u t e182: In my pockets: money, quarters, this one teabag that I keep forgetting to do anything with, and occasionally small wrappers.181: On my calendar: your birthday!180: Marriage is: classy179: Spongebob can: sponge the bobs but can he rob the mobs?178: My mom: a great and good and amazing mom177: The last three songs I bought were? Three individual movements of Johan de Meij’s Lord of the Rings symphony176: Last YouTube video watched:175: How many cousins do you have? 4174: Do you have any siblings? 1173: Are your parents divorced? nope172: Are you taller than your mom? yup171: Do you play an instrument? DO I EVER170: What did you do yesterday? sure as heck not any calculus homework[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: I thought I did, until yesterday 3168: Luck: Yeah?167: Fate: I mean idk166: Yourself: “””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””sure””””””””””””””””””””””165: Aliens: I believe in the possibility, I’ve never pretended to know!164: Heaven: I wish I did more than I do163: Hell: nah162: God: *waves my hands in a squiggly agnostic way* not in like a biblical sense but in a unifying connect-y energy in everything idk161: Horoscopes: I mean I believe in them as concepts like. They exist. That’s a thing. I don’t buy into them but I like them all the same.160: Soul mates: 159: Ghosts: nnnnnah158: Gay Marriage: HELL YEAH157: War: not in so many words156: Orbs: what155: Magic: the elf sitting in my computer says yes[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs153: Drunk or High: drugs are bad152: Phone or Online: Are these mutually exclusive? Online151: Red heads or Black haired: BOTH I mean red heads bc maedhros but I find both very attractive150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes all the way149: Hot or cold: how cot or how cold?148: Summer or winter: mmmeh147: Autumn or Spring: autumn!146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla!145: Night or Day: night as a concept, day as a time when I’m awake144: Oranges or Apples: apples. unless we’re talking clementines or mandarins here in which case...143: Curly or Straight hair: shrug?142: McDonalds or Burger King: I only eat organic kale cubes141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate what sort of a rigged survey is this (but okay I like all chocolates they are all good and great)

140: Mac or PC: ...............mac139: Flip flops or high heals: neither gross sneakers are good138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I love how it’s not even pretty and poor but “sweet”, like what kind of asshole would say ugly and rich and have that be an official statement that they make.137: Coke or Pepsi: I don’t like fizzy drinks136: Hillary or Obama: I’m going to cry135: Burried or cremated: planted into a tree134: Singing or Dancing: BOTH133: Coach or Chanel: what does this mean132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are these people131: Small town or Big city: Once upon a time I would’ve said small town, but these past two years I’ve really come into my own as a citygirl.130: Wal-Mart or Target: target ofc129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: uh128: Manicure or Pedicure: I don’t have nails127: East Coast or West Coast: I mean I feel like I kind of have to say east126: Your Birthday or Christmas: my birthday lol christmas is. not a thing. that I celebrate.125: Chocolate or Flowers: I’ve always thought flowers were the cutest, but I’ve also always wanted chocolate the most124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney I guess? I’ve been to neither123: Yankees or Red Sox: what are sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: really really fucked up and unfortunate121: George Bush: which george bush120: Gay Marriage: I don’t have specific thoughts on this it’s just a thing that should be a thing that I want to be a thing119: The presidential election: let’s not118: Abortion: I think I would have a hard time getting one personally, but I would never presume to speak for everyone.117: MySpace: sure is a website116: Reality TV: oh you mean the sitcomarillion?115: Parents: parents in general? Or my parents? My parents are the best most understanding loving parents and I’m really lucky to have them114: Back stabbers: “””””pals””””””113: Ebay: a party112: Facebook: I sure don’t use that consistently. I only really made my account to check in with my mom’s account.111: Work: should be FUN AND LIFE ENRICHING WOA110: My Neighbors: a okay109: Gas Prices: priced108: Designer Clothes: designed107: College: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH LETS NOT106: Sports: ew105: My family: I LOVE MY FAMILY104: The future: L E T S  N O T[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: I just hugged Benjamin goodnight a moment ago102: Last time you ate: I had eggs for dinner101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:100: Cried in front of someone: the real question is when is the last time I DIDNT cry in front of someone?99: Went to a movie theater: To see Hidden Figures the day after it came out!!98: Took a vacation: for a given value of “taken”...97: Swam in a pool: I honestly can’t remember96: Changed a diaper: Have I ever changed a diaper?95: Got my nails done: That one and only time at Lena’s birthday party where Elizabeth made me even though I didn’t want to.94: Went to a wedding: I can’t remember right now I’m too tired93: Broke a bone: 7th grade. Clarissa was there.92: Got a peircing: I got my ears pierced in fifth grade?91: Broke the law: I stole a firetruck to go to starbux90: Texted: 500 years ago in Vampire Scotland[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: u88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I can’t think about this or I will cry87: The last movie I saw: Hidden Figures86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: going to Starbucks85: The thing im not looking forward to: calculus examinations84: People call me: Buttermay83: The most difficult thing to do is: answer all these questions in one go82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: what’s driving81: My zodiac sign is: capricorn!80: The first person i talked to today was: My cat?79: First time you had a crush: You already know this leave me alone78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: sometimes you and sometimes Benjamin but mostly JRR Tolkien77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: that time you said “I want an oreo” in class today76: Right now I am talking to: my own exhaustion75: What are you going to do when you grow up: gay marry74: I have/will get a job: what is this even asking73: Tomorrow: Thursday72: Today: Wednesday71: Next Summer: pre-college screaming70: Next Weekend: pre your birthday excitement!69: I have these pets: Sasha and Maya, the bestest cats68: The worst sound in the world: Dr. Propst67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Uzuki Kakinuma66: People that make you happy: lots of people, you know the people65: Last time I cried: :}64: My friends are: the actual absolute best friends in the world63: My computer is: trying its best62: My School: has a fire microwave GK GK WE ALL WE GOT61: My Car: what’s a car60: I lose all respect for people who: are in robotics59: The movie I cried at was: the singular movie???? who does this survey think I am?58: Your hair color is: dark brown!57: TV shows you watch: the Uzuki Files56: Favorite web site: mspadventures obviously55: Your dream vacation: to middle earth yes hello54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when I last gave birth to my uterus and almost died53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare?52: My room is: smallish, messish, comfy51: My favorite celebrity is: Yuna Kim50: Where would you like to be: in bed49: Do you want children: we’ve discussed this. I go back and forth48: Ever been in love: ye47: Who’s your best friend: this was literally already asked46: More guy friends or girl friends: what are guys45: One thing that makes you feel great is: not having to answer 200 questions in a row44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Uzuuuuuuuki43: Do you have a 5 year plan: nnnnnup42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: we started one at least?41: Have you pre-named your children: HAVE I EVER40: Last person I got mad at: horst39: I would like to move to: bed38: I wish I was a professional: bed. I mean artist[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Reeses36: Vehicle: bus35: President: Guiney34: State visited: California sounds so cliche but. I mean.33: Cellphone provider: idc32: Athlete: Yuna Kim31: Actor: *mumbleslumbles*30: Actress: too many to choose from help29: Singer: selena gomez obvious28: Band: selena gomez and the slene27: Clothing store: my mom’s closet26: Grocery store: Publix25: TV show: Galavant, Stranger Things, Community in the earlier seasons...24: Movie: I watched Boy Meets Girl lately and it was Fantastic23: Website: fernferction.dert.nert22: Animal: snow leopard21: Theme park: harry potter. world.20: Holiday: Tubishvat19: Sport to watch: ice skating18: Sport to play: night tennis17: Magazine: Elves Weekly16: Book: let’s not open this can of worms I need to go to bed15: Day of the week: tuesday14: Beach: all beaches are great13: Concert attended: Midori performing the Mendelssohn left a really lasting impression on me forever12: Thing to cook: eggs11: Food: eggs10: Restaurant: Tuk Tuk Thai Loft 9: Radio station: GPB OBVIOUSLY8: Yankee candle scent: wat7: Perfume: no6: Flower: azalea5: Color: jewel tones4: Talk show host: Stephen Colbert3: Comedian: andrew hussie2: Dog breed: cats1: Did you answer all these truthfully? of course

I hope this satisfies u u hellspawn

[bookishgrace]

Love you, Love you not

They say time flies when you’re doing something you enjoy.

Well, the opposite is just as true. I’ve been waiting for him for over twenty minutes now and with every minute that goes by I am more tempted to leave. It feels like hours. I’m embarrassed and the waitress is getting moody.

But I can’t leave now. That would be even more heartbreaking than what is about to happen.

You see, he never takes me anywhere. EVER. We’ve been together for 5 years and I can’t remember the last time he took me out on a date, so I obviously grew suspicious when he asked me to meet him for dinner after work.

I thought he either wanted to break up or tell me he’s cheating on me, both options would require a public safe space because I can get really… intense.

After he told me he wanted to go out with me I went around the house on a mission, a mission to find evidence that he was cheating but instead, I found something I wouldn’t have expected in a million years: a ring.

A bloody ring, can you believe it? Why would he want to marry me? Perhaps it’s not even for me! I hope that’s the case because our relationship is so dead that its life insurance has paid out already.

I think our problems started as soon as we got together. We automatically adopted a lifestyle that made us resemble a long-time married couple. There was no mystery, no privacy, it was all about us being together. We both stopped working on ourselves, and things went horribly wrong.

We moved in together just a couple months into the relationship. He was renting a tiny apartment and I started staying over so much that I just stopped leaving altogether.

He did and still does, so many things that annoy me. He leaves the door open when he goes to the toilet, every time he eats he hoovers the food down like he hasn’t eaten in months, he leaves rubbish everywhere he goes, and the list goes on. And I’m absolutely sure I’m no saint either.

We got too comfortable too quickly, too soon.

He also does things that I find adorable, not all is bad, he leaves the light on if he goes to bed first so I don’t trip, he makes me a cappuccino every single morning, he does most of the chores because he wants to, and he loves me, even if he doesn’t show it.

But just because he does good things doesn’t mean I have to live with the bad things.

We also have very different views. I want to build a career, make good money and never have to worry about the end of the month. He on the other hand, not so much. He’s comfortable in life. Way too comfortable. He doesn’t mind getting minimum wage if that means routine, normalcy and no risks.

I’m full of ideas and interests. He only has one interest and I’m pretty sure that in 5 years, I’ve never witnessed him having an actual idea.

But he takes care of me when I’m ill, and he deals with my meltdowns like a champ. He does anything and everything I ask for.

That also bothers me, he does things because I ask him to. He never does something because he thought it would make me happy. It’s always because he’s following orders. And I need a partner, not a butler.

Our sex life is non-existent. Talking about having kids is somehow a thing, but how are we going to make them? I have considered looking for a sex partner elsewhere, but I don’t think infidelity would solve the issue. The issue is us. We don’t belong together. We don’t match. I don’t understand why he would propose.

When we met the red flags were there. Everything wrong with us today could have been predicted back then. He never showed that he craved me sexually, he never chose what we would eat that day and would conform to whatever I chose, later revealing that he hated the meal. His apartment was filthy, his mattress was bare! He slept on nothing but his mattress and used the tiniest blanket to stay warm.

Why did I even stay with him?

I think I see him through the window.

Yes! That’s definitely him. With his fancy clothing. Who is he trying to fool?

“Hi” Dry and uninteresting as ever. Good start.

“You’re late. You know how much I hate waiting. You know how much I hate being alone in public. Why did you think it was ok to leave me hanging?”

Silence.

Always silence.

He never talks back. It’s frustrating. It always makes me nervous and I eventually explode with anger.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Can we eat, please? I have prepared something for you.”

The waitress looks happier, she no longer has a loner occupying one of her tables without ordering.

She doesn’t look so happy when I order tap water and the soup of the day. I couldn’t care less.

Dinner is uneventful. We don’t talk much as usual. But I can see he’s visibly nervous, terrified even. I know social situations make him really uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable too. That’s probably why he never takes me anywhere. Neither of us really enjoy it.

“I took care of dessert. I’m sorry I didn’t consult you, and that’s why I was a bit late too. I’m sorry.” He says, almost sweating and visibly trembling.

“Your forgiveness will depend on what dessert you got.”

I can see a little smirk form on his face, and suddenly he signals to the waitress. Brave and exclusive. He avoids these situations like the plague.

The waitress brings an overly fancy tray and puts it in front of me.

Written on it with chocolate fondant is the dreaded question - “Will you marry me?”

“Is this desse…”

I couldn’t finish my question. He’s already on his knee showing me the ring I had already seen. But he doesn’t know that.

“I know we have our moments, but if it wasn’t clear already, you are the woman of my dreams. I don’t want anyone else in my life but you. And I know I can be difficult, but everything I do is for you. I want you to be the happiest woman in the world, and if you let me, I want to be the happiest man in the world with you. Will you marry me?”

I freeze.

I want to say no. Why am I not saying no?

Unfortunately, the answer is easy.

He makes me absolutely miserable, but I can’t imagine my life without him. He makes me laugh, he makes me look forward to the future and I can be my true self around him.

I don’t need filters, pleasantries or fake politeness. I am more me with him.

So, does he really make me that miserable? If I can only be myself around him, isn’t the problem me? Is being myself making me miserable? It would make sense. I’m irritable and sad most of the time. I get angry at absolutely everything and it only takes a second to make me go from 0 to 100. Truth is, when that happens, he is there to either calm me down or to allow me to take it out on him.

Perhaps I don’t hate him, I hate myself.

It’s so much easier to blame someone else for our problems than admitting that maybe, the problem is within ourselves.

He knows me better than I know myself. He sees all the ugly in me, and still, he loves me.

And if we’re being real, I love him. I love him more than anything in this world. I want to spend my life with him.

Is suffering worth it? Definitely. Because no matter if I’m with him, with someone else or alone. I will suffer. That’s just life. So if I have to choose, I want to go through life with him.

I look at his face and I see it differently now. He has the purest, most innocent and more beautiful face I’ve ever seen.

I touch it and it’s as soft as ever, his eyes watery and I can feel him shaking. He doesn’t need to wait anymore, my decision is made, and it has always been.

“Yes”

- Grace Humby

[sexvimpulse]

Mason: [He frowns as a customer asks to see the pastry chef, nervous that they didn’t something. He sees the beautiful woman and feels even more nervous] Bonjour, Madame.. [His American accent apparent as he greets her] You.. asked to see me?

Domenica: [Has never felt such a delicious sensation in her mouth before as she takes a bite of the exquisite pastry. Looking up after requesting his presence, she forms a sultry smile on her lips] Sì, I did. [Stares at his face, finding his rugged features attractive] Are you the one who’s responsible for this? [Tilts her head as she guides the gold fork back into the pastry and draws it back to her mouth] Mmm. Deliziosa. [Moans as she swallows it] I want you to prepare other treats for me. Stasera. [Eyes him heatedly]

Mason: I.. Oui.. I am. [Bites his lip as he watches her take another bite, swallowing as she’s so sensual about it] Tu aimes..? Oh.. well I’m here almost every day. So no doubt you’ll be tasting some of my work. [Smiles] can I get you anything else, Madame?

Domenica: [Can feel his eyes watching as she takes a bite before she smiles softly, her right cheek hollowing] No, I meant to my suite, bello. [Coos] I want you to serve me privately and exclusively tonight. [Wipes the corners of her lips as she has desire to be entertained by him] I’m not in the mood to share your treats with others.

Mason: [His brows draw together as he hears her] Je suis desolee, Madame. But La Patisserie doesn’t really do personal service like that. [Shakes his head] I know there are chefs at Le Refectoire who do room service meals.. [Trails off] You can always come back..

Domenica: [Feigns a pout as she hears his words, knowing how La Boite wants to keep certain things separate] How disappointing, bello. [Sighs before smiling sweetly] Well can you make me something special then? Something no one else has tasted before. [Stares into his intense blue eyes] But only if you’ll sit with me. [Speaks coyly] I want to know what brought you to La Boite.

Mason: Ah.. I’m sure I could prepare something for you. [Is confused on what exactly she wants at this moment] You.. actually want me to sit with you right now? [Cocks a brow]

Domenica: [Tilts her head as she smiles softly] After you prepare something for me. [Coos as she hopes to warm him up and get to know him more] Would you like to join me after you’re done? [Leans over as she stares up at him, her cleavage showing as she smirks confidently]

Mason: Oh.. Je suis desolee.. non parle français bien.. [Shakes his head as he gives her a nervous look] I’ll be right back. [Looks around his kitchen for something he can create for her. He sees some puff pastry in the refrigerator, cutting and layering it in a Rose shape before filling its gaps with a dark chocolate mixture. While that’s baking he drizzles a strawberry sauce on a plate and dusts the pastry in gold leafing] Here you are, Madame. A Mason Lancer original. [Chuckles as he places it in front of her and has a wait staff being her another coffee]

Domenica: [Patiently waits for his return as she reads a book of hers before parting her lips as she sees the gorgeous dessert] Dio, how beautiful. I almost don’t want to eat it. [Gazes at the dish, admiring every inch of it as her mouth waters] Have a seat, please. I want you to watch me. [Smiles sultrily before gently cutting into the rose pastry. She coos as they chocolate drizzles out, finding the indulgence quite sinful. Closing her eyes, she brings it to her mouth and moans as she tastes it slowly, savoring every delicious bite] Mio dio.. It’s sinful. [Sucks on her lower lip, crossing her legs as she feels seduced by it] How are you so talented, Monsieur Lancer? [Gazes at him] La Boîte is keeping you all to itself. It’s not fair.

Mason: [Takes a seat across from her, watching her eat] I worked my way up. I don’t know if it’s talent. [Shakes his head] It’s a joy to make something like this for someone so special. [Bites his lip]

Domenica: [Seeks another bite as she takes her fork and hears his every word, actually willing to listen to him] Are you saying that I’m special, bello? [Hollows her cheeks as he comes off as genuine, unlike other men she’s been with] Mmm. What would it take for me to have you as my personal patisserie chef, hm? [Pouts] No one would have to know.

Mason: [Blushes as she calls him handsome in Italian] Ah.. I practically live here, Madame. [Shakes his head] I don’t know that I’d have much time to work for you.. [Tells her, but La Boîte has really strict rules about staff relations with clients]

Domenica: [Instantly notices the blush on his cheeks, thinking that he's so wholesome as it makes her more attracted to him] I would pay you more than what you're already making, bello. [Tells him matter-of-factly] And you wouldn't have to worry.. I know the right people to talk to so that you wouldn't get in trouble. [Smiles sweetly as being a former escort does have some give]

Mason: [Thinks about how expensive it is to live in Paris and considers it as he wants to open his own bakery at some point] I.. okay. I would love to, Madame..? Comment tu t’appelles? [Tilts his head] Merci for the opportunity. [Smiles, his blue eyes bright]

Domenica: [Expresses a pleased, charming smile as he finally agrees] Sona così felice di sentirlo. [Purrs before laughing softly] Domenica Cardinale. [Gives him her hand just to sate her curiosity on how his lips would feel on her] No, thank you. You're an artist when it comes to pastries, bello. I absolutely love how it tastes on my tongue.

Mason: [Finds her attractive as she speaks Italian. He chews on the inside of his cheek as he tries to figure out if she’s actually hitting on him or if it’s in his head] I’m.. glad. [Nods and smiles he pulls a pen from his white coat and scribbles his number on a notepad for her, making sure no one sees him give it to her] Here’s my number.. if you were serious about the offer.

Domenica: [Her eyes are fixated on him as he busies himself with his note before she takes it and tucks it away] Grazie, bello. [Laughs softly as he doubts her, shaking her head] I was very serious. I find it sexy when a man knows his way around the kitchen. [Brushes her fingertips against the back of his hand as she gives a dark look] I only want new creations from you. [Hollows her cheek, keeping a small smile on her lips]

Mason: [Bites his lip as she openly flirts with him, not having had someone show interest in him for a while. He takes her hand and kisses the back of it, smelling her perfume] I’ll have to do some developing then. [Chuckles as he tucks his pen behind his ear] what are your favorite flavors, Madame Cadinale?

Domenica: [Drawns in her cheeks, giving a lustful look as she feels his soft lips on her hand] I can't wait to taste what you have in store for me. [Gently caresses his leg with hers before pulling back, wanting to appear coy about it] Salty. [Murmurs with a grin] I want you to create something that you think would taste like me.

Mason: [Swallows as she teases his leg and speaks her naughty words. He’s amused at how layered her words can come off, but he chooses to be American about it] Then I’ll have to taste you first. [Says with an innocent look on his features]

Domenica: [Her eyes widen for a moment, cheeks hollowing until she composes herself. She’s surprised by him as her first impression is completely different] That might be a better method if you aim to satisfy my needs. [Her tone is sultry as she searches his eyes]

Mason: [Chuckles as he hears her, not knowing where this will lead but feels very entertained] I have a question though, Madame.. all of these escorts and you’re interested in a baker? [Cocks a brow as he’s slightly skeptical]

Domenica: [Laughs softly as he asks his question, finding him all the more intriguing] Is that wrong? [Raises a brow, smiling softly] Paying someone for sex is too easy and I know how an escort works. [Refrains from telling him she was one] Besides, it’s your talent that seduced me first.

Mason: Ah, I see. [Bites his lip] Well whether you’re after work, or something else.. I am definitely interested. [Eyes are bright behind his thick lashes]

Domenica: [Eyes him, feeling heated inside as his American boldness was deeply peeks through] Well then I look forward to tonight, bello. [Pushes her hair back to reveal her full, soft breasts] I want to know what kind of tastes you have.

Mason: [Eyes fall to her perfect tits, thinking about having his cock between them already] Then I will see you tonight, Madame. [Takes her hand and kisses the back of it]

Domenica: [Watches as his eyes fa to her breasts, amused that he accepted the invitation] See you, bello. [Purrs as she feels the ache between her legs from his kiss]

[jillmckenzie1]

Sex and Pizza

I started writing this piece with the idea that I would talk about late-night, post-show eats in Denver. As I wrote, I realized that I was writing specifically about pizza by the slice. As I wrote even more, it became clear that I was really just venting about my sex life. It would seem that I have f***ed my way through every after-hours pizza joint in the Queen City. Here is the short list of pizzerias and what I have to say about them and the men I explored along the way. There’s a lot of hot slices here.

The Pie Hole wins straight away for “Best Name.” It’s on South Broadway and is a great choice for a quick slice to coat your gut with cheese and grease while bombing through the dive bars and dance clubs.  Slices are quick and hot. Paper plates line the walls with amateur art and self-expression. I once declined the offer of a sexual encounter in the bathroom here even though I was wearing presentable undies.

The Marquis Theater snuggles down into LoDo where it hosts indie bands and pumps out some of the best late-night pizza in town. You have to buy a ticket to see the show, but even without tickets you can belly up to the antique facade and wend through the tight, bendy line to order pizza to go. It’s available by the slice (extra points!) or the pie, with vegan options available. This is not a restaurant. Take your slice and go back out on the sidewalk to stuff your maw with ‘za. On my first trip to the Marquis pizza line, I wasn’t hungry, but I ate a slice with a surface area larger than my head in an effort to impress a guy. He was hot and I wanted to have sex with him. Don’t think too hard about the logic of this one. It worked for me.

If you’re catching a show at the Fillmore or the Ogden theaters, your nearest pizza option might be Slice Works. It’s a big, glass, postmodern cube that hunkers the corner of Washington and Colfax, conveniently across the parking lot from the Argonaut Wine & Liquor store. It lacks a creative atmosphere, but the pizza is adequately… pizza. Slice Works is where I told a gin-drunk story to my date about my weird fantasy that the guy who mows my lawn has a crush on me. I dated that guy for way too long (the date guy, not the lawn guy), since he obviously wasn’t that into me and could never, ahem, perform when with me and he could with the other women that I knew he had banged because I asked them and they said he was great. Yeah. Great.

I have many pet peeves. If peeves were really pets, I’d be an animal hoarder. One of them is putting horrible and obscene things on pizza. White sauce on pizza is an abomination. Leafy greens do not belong anywhere near marinara sauce. Kale pizza is for people who won’t admit that they suck. Pizza is a delicate dance of hearty carbs, fruity sauce, and fatty cheese. Toppings should NEVER include more carbs. Take your mashed potatoes and go back to Portland. For this reason, I cannot endorse Ian’s Pizza, a hipster, snowflake, even-food-is-political pizza place, even though I’ve eaten there many times because it’s right around the corner from a venue that I frequent. Ian’s squats down near Coor’s Field and puts awful things on pizza. Broccoli, macaroni, rice and beans, sliced potatoes, ranch dressing…They also use jalapenos, which I consider to be unholy, but they are inexplicably popular in Colorado, so I’ll let that one ride. On a positive note, Ian’s sells baggies of “puppy chow” at the register, those delectable little nuggets of chocolate-peanut butter-powdered sugar ambrosia. I once slept with a guy who told me that his name was Ian and it very probably might have been.

Sexy Pizza. This place is just called Sexy Pizza. The slices are good, large, cheesy and if you don’t think that cheese is sexy, we have nothing more to talk about. I walked here in the rain with a hot guy who said that he loved me. We sat in the tiny storefront and steamed from the rain in the blissful heat of the ovens. We went there because I had slice vouchers that were swag from a show I had performed in. He was sleeping with someone else. He asked me to move to California with him and then redacted the offer two weeks later, but he didn’t mind if I never shaved my legs, like, ever. It’s located near Cheeseman Park, which I’m told used to be a gay cruising hotspot and where I once wore a denim miniskirt and made out with a guy and where a friend of mine who I’ve never slept with found a dead body. I want to emphasize that I am the only connection between pizza, bad fashion, cadavers, and feckless dudes. He moved to California and I still have his wine corkscrew, which is about all the screwing I got from him.

Next, we mosey onward back to Colfax, toward the Bluebird Theater and the Atomic Cowboy, which lives a double life as Denver Biscuit Company during the day and Fat Sully’s Pizza at night. Their biscuits are legitimately really good. I recommend the mushroom pot pie. The pizza is big and served late into the night, which is all that is required of post-show drunk food. I once had Mother’s Day brunch here with a guy I didn’t like but was still banging and his mom. Here is also where I broke up for no good reason over breakfast with the only quality guy that I ever met online after working an overnight shift and going on an unhinged rant against the drab and mousy desk-wallah in HR about overtime pay. This was surely my finest moment as a human being. The Atomic Cowboy is also where I went on a date with Guy 2 seven hours after banging Guy 1. I did not have sex with Guy 2 because I didn’t want to throw things off with Guy 1, even though it was technically non-exclusive.  Guy 1 broke up with me four days later for a tiny brunette who he met at a rave and who is exactly the same type as every other woman he’s ever dated. I am neither tiny nor brunette, but I can eat a slice of pizza with a surface area larger than my head, which means that I can probably eat her entire body in two bites.

Lastly, we head back downtown to Two-Fisted Mario’s. I haven’t been there, but I deployed the guy I’m currently sleeping with to investigate on my behalf. He’s extremely qualified to evaluate pizza because pizza is the only thing he really likes to eat. We ate pizza on our first date, on which he didn’t ask for sex and walked me to my door. We also ate pizza on most of our dates after that, punctuated by meals of chicken tikka masala during shark week. He doesn’t mind having sex then because “your body is always beautiful.” He tells me that the pizza is a solid B+ while sober. The wait for your slice is a bit long, which is hugely important when you’re drunk and needing to ingest grease and carbs before you topple over. Current Guy reports that toppings are limited, but “that’s ok because there’s always pepperoni and pepperoni is Good Enough when you’re drunk.” You *can* choose your own toppings, though. This is libertarian pizza. It also has the merits of being nearby to the downtown venues and being open late every night. He is not sleeping with anyone else.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/sex-and-pizza/

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10 Ways To earn You Rejoice.

Ask the question just what makes for a great relationship? If you have any issues concerning exactly where and how to use yellow pages uk reverse lookup (source web page), you can get hold of us at our own website. " and you're most likely in order to get as numerous solutions as there are frozen yogurt flavors. If you have any type of problem analysis this fic with a display reader, simply carry out permit me recognize and I will certainly perform completely every thing I can to repair this. Generally, the tunes are actually certainly not needed to understand the account, nevertheless I'm dealing with featuring the verses to the tracks on the video articles so that need to be actually up quickly.

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Typically, the songs are not should understand the tale, however I'm servicing including the lyrics to the tracks on the video posts in order that should be up soon.