#i think if my post got boosted three times then my slow descent into insanity was at least for a funny ejd purpose!

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

hi! i'm the person who tried to blaze your post again, i just wanted to let you know i had a coupon for a free $10 blaze i didn't know what to do with and your post was the first thing i saw i thought i could use it on. i didn't look at the timestamp until afterwards so. apologies for almost dredging it out of the pit LMAO

Oh it's completely fine I don't mind that u were gonna blaze it bc it's a month old, I was going to kill u bc that fucking post has been blazed TWICE already!

[spectrumscribe]

Your Heart’s Desire

a very late submission to @tmntflashfic‘s valentine’s day prompt thing, since it got insanely long, and has to be broken up into parts.

Master Post of Chapters.

————————————————————————————- Chapter Three.

Somewhere about a week later, the whole ‘never’ part of meeting Raph’s family became untrue.

Casey had been smoking a cigarette on his piss-tiny balcony, when an enormous shape flew up in front of him, and he’d nearly inhaled his whole cig.

Two huge limbs sank their claws into his apartment’s outside, while another two latched onto his balcony- causing it to bend dramatically.

Casey’s back slammed against the glass sliding door, and he fumbled to grab the handle.

Huge wings blocked the sun from view, as a hungry maw with rows of sharp teeth hung in front of Casey’s face.

Two glowing blue eyes stared at him, and the demon’s tongue lashed out to lick its lips.

“͝SO ̶Y̡OU͟’R͝E͡ THE͡ ̢H̢UMA͝N҉ W͏H͟O ͟CAŲG̢H͟T͟ RAP͟H́!́”͏ ̕ The demon boomed. “W͞ELL,́ ͡I͡ C̕A҉N͘ FI̕X̷ TH̵A̸T ̧E̷ASY̸!̴”̀

Casey had about a second to sputter “-the FUCK-?!”  before an enormous hand closed around his waist, and he was ripped from his balcony.

Casey’s scream got lost in the wind, as the demon flew up into the air with him in its clutches.

He saw his apartment get further and further away, same as the ground got further and further away, as the demon spiralled higher with him into the sky. Casey couldn’t even try to fight the ascent, since the size and power difference was too great, and he was literally thousands of feet in the air and that would just result in a Casey shaped pancake.

His lunch and stomach and probably everything else inside him got left behind, as the clouds started to get eye level with him and he approached a height that even he, a true adrenaline junkie through and through, really didn’t want to ever experience.

Somewhere about absolutely insane levels of height, the demon chose that moment to toss Casey up into the air like a rag doll, and swoop underneath with its mouth open.

Casey’s last thought would have been a mash of wordless screaming and cuss words, had it not been another demon grabbing him out of the air, and narrowly saving him from being eaten alive- and not even in one bite.

Thankfully, the demon that grabbed him a second time was one he knew, and Casey wrapped his arms around Raph’s neck and screamed bloody murder.

“SHUT UP. I’M TRYING FLY, IDIOT,” Raph yelled into Casey’s ear, diving to the side to avoid the larger, fully transformed demon pursuing them.

“-SHIT -FUCK- FUCKING- WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING HELL-”

Red runes briefly flickered around them both, and the stinging speed of wind eased around Casey, and suddenly he could inhale properly again.

He started to thank Raph, but it turned into another shriek as the bigger demon came dangerously close to catching them.

“I said shut up!” Raph shouted, folding his wings and diving to the side again.

Casey ignored him, and attempted to wrap himself tighter around Raph as they kept flying. “What the FUCK is going on, Raph?!”

“Currently? We’re flying for your life.”

“Not our lives?!”

“No, this is all on you,” Raph said, calm despite the bone-rattling roar that followed them. “This guy wants you dead and me to go home.”

“Who the hell is he?!” Casey yelled, stomach making its way into his throat as they turned upwards sharply. Over Raph’s wings and shoulders, he caught another glance of the pursuing demon.

Mouth still open and hungry, with a somehow gleeful expression, the demon chasing them was definitely bigger than Raph was; both in semi-human form, and demon form. His crest was slightly different than Raph’s too, edged with orange and curly seeming.

There were other details too- ram like horns, different colored eyes, and a slimmer build in general- but Casey was mostly stuck on the fact that the demon wanted him for lunch, and the size of its fangs.

“So, I don’t know if you figured this out yet or not-” Raph said, avoiding another swipe at them. “-but that’s my brother.”

“Why the shit is he trying to KILL ME?!”

“To free me from our contract, obviously. He probably thinks you’ve got me enthralled or something.”

Raph then twisted in midair, and landed a solid kick at his brother’s temple just as he’d tried to take a chomp at them. The blow made an audible crack, and the other demon spun off sideways in the air.

Even in his smaller form, Raph’s strength never did diminish. Casey noted that keenly, as Raph held him without issue; hovering in the air with steady beats of his wings.

Casey reminded himself that now was not the time to be thinking about the size of Raph’s muscles.

The demon below rightened himself, a couple hundred feet down and diminishing that distance, and Casey tightened his hold around Raph’s neck again.

“He’s coming back,” Casey said nervously.

“Yeah. He’s faster than me too, so no point in running too far,” Raph said, because that made Casey feel so much better. “I’m stronger though, no matter what forms we’re in.”

“Uh, yeah, now would be a good time to punch his lights out then.”

“Can’t yet, have to wait another moment.”

“How come- oh wait fuck no Raph please move come on come on he’s dOING A THING COME ON JUST MOVE ALREADY-”

The demon- Raph’s apparent psycho relative- had opened his mouth, and a ring of magic was materializing in front of it. It looked way too much like a laser beam thing for Casey to mistake it for anything else.

Big surprise: it was a laser beam thing.

Raph’s unnamed demon brother opened his mouth wide, and shot a bright orange beam into the air. Right. At. Them.

Raph dodged almost lazily, and Casey felt his skin get warm as they skirted the blast.

He might’ve screamed again.

Casey watched with a horrified expression, as the beam exploded in the clouds above, and cleared the overcast for miles around. The cheery sunshine felt very out of place, considering the situation.

Casey might’ve managed to say something along the lines of “what the actual FUCK”, but it probably came out garbled.

“Yeah, he does that sort of thing a lot,” Raph said, not nearly as concerned as Casey felt he should be. He glided to the side, still watching his brother’s progression below. “He’s not the strongest physically speaking, but I’m pretty sure there aren’t many beings out there that got more magic than he does. Finesse ain’t his department, but Mikey gets shit done when he feels like it.”

“This is really cool but also really fucking terrifying can we go back to the ground yet and tell your brother to stop trying to kill me?!”

“Working on it,” Raph replied shortly, before diving without warning, and taking Casey with him. Casey’s shrill scream followed them all the way to the ground, and he felt justified in that considering they were plummeting from thousands of feet in the air.

As they slowed their descent, Casey grabbed Raph’s horn, pulled the demon’s ear towards him, and shouted, “CAN WE FUCKING NOT?!”

Raph’s response was to snarl in annoyance, and dump Casey onto the first apartment roof they flew over.

Casey tried to stand right away, but his legs gave out, and he ended up on his hands and knees panting. His head felt like it’d been swirled around in a blender, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he still had all his internal organs.

Now that he wasn’t in mortal peril anymore, Casey’s lips split in a semi-hysterical grin.

What a rush.

“You have a serious problem with adrenaline rushes,” Raph commented, because apparently Casey had been talking out loud. He glanced down at Casey, and looked half concerned. “I’ll take care of this, but you’ll have to give me a bit of blood.”

“Why?”

“It looks like Mikey’s running on full power right now. Probably got a hold of a new contract, lucky bastard. If you don’t want him to wipe the floor with me, I’ll need a bit of a boost.”

“Fine, whatever. Let’s get it over with.”

Raph’s short thumb claw split the skin on Casey’s arm, and he swiped a few droplets of blood from there.

Casey watched as Raph licked the blood away from his finger- following the action keenly- and saw the demon’s irises fill his whole sclera.

Raph’s grin was wide enough to show all his teeth, and he seemed more than a little excited.

“͝Now͏ w̛e̸’re ͝t҉a̸lk̸i͢n̵g͝.”

Changing into a swirl of smoke, re-solidifying, and taking off into the air with huge beats of his wings, Raph nearly knocked Casey over as he rose into the sky in full demon form.

Just in time too, since Mikey- weird name for a demon, honestly- slammed into him right after.

Casey watched as the two giant winged demons spun through the air, and went crashing into the streets below. Casey’s legs were still being uncooperative, so he half crawled towards the edge of the three story building he was on, and looked down at where they’d fallen.

Raph kicked Mikey off, sending the larger demon rolling away, and rightened himself. Casey didn’t even have time to comprehend what was happening, before Raph opened his mouth and blew a white hot stream of fire at his brother.

Mikey seemed unaffected, other than bellowing loudly as he flew back up into the air. Raph shot another stream of flames at his brother, following him upwards, but again didn’t do any damage. The flames just skimmed over Mikey’s thick scales like nothing.

Casey noted vaguely that car alarms were going off all down the street, and that the two demons had put a sizable crater in the road. Also set fire to the road.

Oh boy.

His phone, which had miraculously stayed in his pants pocket the whole time, buzzed quietly, and Casey fumbled with numb fingers to get it out.

“Hello?”

“CASEY WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE?!”

Casey leaned away from his phone; April’s shriek nearly deafening him. “Uh, well, Raph’s brother kind of dropped by to eat me, aaaand…” An explosion went across the sky, an echoing boom heard even down on ground level. “They’re sort of battling to the death right now. I think. I’m not really sure what’s happening anymore, but I’m pretty sure I’d be okay dying after seeing something this awesome.”

April made a bunch of incoherent sounds into the receiver, and all Casey could tell was that she was mad.

“YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, CASEY JONES.”

“You and Raph agree on that, at least.”

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAYS. YOU’RE NOT UP IN THE SKY WITH THE TWO IDIOT HELL-SPAWNS, RIGHT?”

“Why are you still yelling?”

“BECAUSE I’M FREAKING OUT LEAVE ME ALONE. THEY JUST DEMOLISHED HALF OUR NEIGHBORHOOD STREET OH MY GOD-”

“I think I’m immune to shock at this point, honestly,” Casey said evenly, to which April replied, “BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN LIVING WITH AN ACTUAL DEMON FOR OVER THREE WEEKS NOW AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT.”

Casey watched as Raph dive-bombed Mikey from above, grabbed his brother’s wings, and crashed them straight into the ground. The resounding impact set off another wave of car alarms, and Casey was fairly sure there were people starting to scream in the distance now.

“WHAT WAS THAT?!”

“Raph crashing them into the street. I gotta find a way off this roof and see if he’s alright. I’ll call you back.”

“Casey no WAIT-!”

Casey hung up his phone, and forcing his legs to start working again, he ran for the fire escape.

By the time he got to the impact site- and avoided all the dazed looking civilians that were just staring creepily off into space- Raph was back in human-ish form, and holding another human-ish man under his arm.

“So.” Raph said, tightening his hold on the struggling man. “This is my brother, Mikey. He’s a fucking moron, and he’s sorry for trashing your neighborhood. Also for trying to eat you.”

“Aw c’mon Raphie, it was just gonna be a few bites-”

“Shut it!” Raph snapped, whacking the Mikey’s curling horns with his free hand. Mikey whined and struggled harder. “You know our rules about stealing a contract!”

“Pssh, rules smules, they don’t apply to me, dumbass,” Mikey said, blowing a raspberry at Raph as he struggled free. “I dunno why you all insist on followin’ them. I have no trouble getting around without ‘em.”

“Yeah, but nothing sane seems to apply to you at all, so that wouldn’t fucking work for me.”

“Uh, not interrupt your reunion or whatever,” Casey jerked a thumb at the destruction surrounding them. “But you kind of trashed everything, and there’s like a couple hundred people staring off into space right now. The fuck is up with that?”

“Oh, ‘s my auto defense spells,” Mikey said, waving a hand dismissively. “Donnie helped me make ‘em centuries ago, on account of me always forgetting to erase peoples’ memories of whatever I do. They’ll think it was an earthquake or something.”

“The… the roads though… and that one house you destroyed too…”

“Right! Gimme a sec!”

Casey was then blinded, because Mikey summoned the biggest fucking magical circle ever, and proceeded to cover everything in neon orange.

Casey rubbed his eyes, trying to blink away the spots. He finally got his vision back, and saw that everything was back to normal, Mikey had his hands on his hips looking proud, and Raph had his head in his hands, mumbling despairingly.

“SO! Proper introductions!” Mikey said, putting out a hand for Casey to shake. His long fluffy tail swished behind him excitedly, in time with the bounce of his dark curls. “I’m Michelangelo, also called Mikey, also called-”

Raph slapped a hand over Mikey’s mouth.

“No true names!” He said with a growl. Then he yanked his hand away, wiping it on his shirt.

“Did you…?” Casey blinked at Mikey. “Did you just lick his hand?”

“Yup,” Mikey said, and he grabbed Casey’s hand as he did. “Nice to meet you, and sorry for trying to eat you earlier. I thought you’d enslaved my brother or something!”

Mikey’s hand suddenly gripped Casey’s hand tighter, painfully tight, and he smiled in a scary way. All teeth and threat.

“That’s not what’s happening here, right?” Mikey asked, smiling dangerously.

“Nope,” Casey squeaked, feeling his bones grind together. “N-not at all.”

“Great!” Mikey cheered, releasing Casey’s hand and returning to his less threatening expression. “That means I don’t have to kill you then, which would have sucked since Raph totally-”

Raph grabbed his brother’s mouth again, and hissed something rapid and low in Mikey’s ear. The exchange was over before Casey could question it, and then Raph was steering Casey back towards the apartment’s direction.

“C’mon, I have a feeling April will be wanting an explanation,” Raph said in a tired voice. “And we need to pick up some groceries. A lot of groceries.”

“Uh. Why?”

“You’ll thank me later if we just do this now instead of when he gets hungry.”

Casey remembered the teeth on Mikey’s demon form, and the hungry way he’d been looking at Casey even in human form.

“Right. Probably a good plan.”

They bought three packages of ice pops, and six packages of raw meat. Casey got the same cashier he’d been getting for the past three weeks, and he raised an eyebrow at Casey’s twitchy new friend, and how he yet again was buying copious amounts of raw meat products.

Casey just shook his head at the man, and paid for their food.

At least Mikey was willing to carry half the load, even if it meant he ate half of that half before they even got home.

April met them at the door with a super-soaker and a determined expression. Casey couldn’t do much other than gesture helplessly at the demons accompanying him.

April didn’t flinch as Mikey flowed towards her, all bubble and cheer while moving like a predatory wild cat.

Mikey tried all of point ten seconds to intimidate her, before April shut him down with a few facial blasts of holy water.

Somehow no one died, and somehow Mikey ended up sitting in front of Casey’s television without too much fuss. Playing video games with all the enthusiasm of a kid, and not an eons old demon.

“So how long is he staying?” Casey whispered to Raph across the kitchen table. “My apartment is tiny as is, and he’s kind of nuts.”

“He’s mostly harmless if he’s distracted,” Raph said, apparently unbothered by his brother’s murderousness. He licked the popsicle in his hand again. “Let him play with the games until he’s bored and then he’ll bugger off to bother someone else.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Keep a stock of these,” Raph waved the popsicle he had. “And don’t try to make any deals with him.”

“Why not? I mean, I won’t,” Casey said, because the idea sounded a bit like cheating on Raph somehow. “But why not?”

“Do you remember the Dancing Plague of fifteen-eighteen?”

“The what now?”

“Figures,” Raph said, rolling his eyes. His tongue snaked out to lick his popsicle, and he continued. “Basically? Mikey made a deal with this guy for his soul. Just some peasant, no point in life and no hope either. He was bored, Mikey was bored, and the guy wanted to make a contract. You know what he asked for?”

“Uh… no.”

“A chance to figuratively watch the world around him burn, because he hated his life and hated his village,” Raph said. His expression was making Casey feel uncomfortable, and he stayed silent as Raph continued. “What happened next was Mikey feeling like getting a bit creative with that request, and it getting way out of hand.

“Essentially, this guy? He danced until he died, and he took a whole lot of other people down with him. A few hundred, dead because they danced until their bodies literally gave out and killed them. Better yet- or worse I guess- it spread, like some kind of virus. It hit most of the village, and kept going until it suddenly stopped.”

Raph looked Casey seriously in the eye, grim despite the rainbow pop in his hands. “It only stopped because Mikey got tired of it, and left. It would have kept going if he hadn’t. He killed a good number out of four hundred people before he stopped. He didn’t even take most of their souls, just the first ten.”

Casey gulped.

“That’s really fucking scary, honestly,” He said in a tight voice. “I mean. It’d be pretty cool if it wasn’t real, but, uh, yeah. Scary.”

“I’m gonna level with you here. We’re not actually sure just how powerful Mikey is, or how much damage he could do if he felt like it. He might even outclass our older sister, and she’s the scariest thing you could ever imagine meeting.”

“Uh. Wow.”

“Yup,” Raph licked his popsicle again, and settled back into his chair. “So keep freezie-pops and shit around all the time, and give him access to the game counsel. It’s in your best interest until he leaves.”

Casey sweated nervously, and darted a glance at Mikey.

The demon seemed a lot like Raph, if taller and slimmer. Dark hair dark skin, horns tail teeth, etc.

He had a different feel to him though. Wilder. Kind of feral.

Mikey’s laughter sounded normal enough, but something in the back of Casey’s brain said ‘run’.

Casey made a note to go buy more treats before they ran low.

He turned back to keep talking with Raph, maybe question just who else in Raph’s family he needed to watch for, but his words choked in his throat.

Raph’s tongue was wrapped around the popsicle in his hand, and slowly pulling back into his mouth.

Casey swallowed thickly, watching the long pink tongue recede.

Wow it was kind of hot in here.

Raph’s tongue slurped back into his mouth, and then he took a bite out of the ice treat, sharp teeth going straight through it without issue.

Casey winced, and swallowed thickly for a different reason.

“Something wrong?”

“Nope,” Casey said in a strangled voice.

  april help i might have a problem

 I’ve been expecting this for a while now.

How bad is it?

 pretty bad

 Give me a rough estimate.

 i had a ‘oh no hes hot’ moment

twice today

pls help

 See me tomorrow evening for movies and dinner at my place. No demons allowed.

 i wasnt planning on bringing him anyways but okay

april help he just took off his shirt

he got popsicle juice on it bc mikey tried to do tackling thing and

fuck

aprilhelpthatsalotofchest

 Cold water, preferably iced, is advisable here.

Or so I’m told.

 ohgodihateeverything

   Casey dragged himself out of bed the next morning, thanking every god he could think of that it was Sunday, and shuffled out into the living room.

Raph and Mikey were tangled in a big pile of limbs on the carpet, both of them half shifted and completely asleep. Darkened by scales that went up most of their arms and legs, but tapered off before it hit their faces; their wings were visible too, flopped out without much care. Mikey was on his back, quadrupedal limbs sticking straight in the air.

It was sort of cute, in a weird way. If you ignored how Mikey was technically a mass murderer and Raph was probably also that.

Yeah. Still weirdly cute, even with that added.

Casey shuffled back into his room, got his phone, and took a couple pictures. Because blackmail.

He saved the photos- sending a few to April too- and paused as he started to put it away.

On a last second decision, he snapped a close up of Raph in particular.

Then he chucked his phone back into his room, and totally didn’t feel his ears get hot as he went to get breakfast started.

Mikey wandered off somewhere around noon, waving a cheery goodbye as he took with him the rest of the freezies. He said he’d be back by the time dark rolled around, and Casey didn’t question what he’d be doing all day. He probably didn’t want to know.

He ended up working on his literary homework for a change, instead of his art homework. He hated working on the essays, despite being pretty good with the assignments.              He really just preferred drawing and painting to writing.

Raph spent the day lounging on the couch, again wrecking the springs since he was still half shifted. Casey migrated over there as he fought with his project, ending up slouched on one end of the couch with his legs hanging over Raph’s while they watched TV. The tail sort of got in the way, but once Casey got it behind his back, it provided support instead.

They didn’t even talk much. Just hung out in silence while the TV droned on, and Casey struggle with his laptop keyboard. It actually a really nice change from Casey’s usual weekend pace, which involved a lot more partying.

Though, dealing with psychotic demon relatives was enough of a party for one weekend, so Casey figured he’d covered that part already.

Casey didn’t actually notice, until the afternoon rolled by, that he was comfortable pretty much all around. Hanging out with Raph like this, minus the elbowing and insults and general rough housing… it was downright domestic.

Casey took that thought, shoved it waaaaaaaaaay into the back of his skull, and focused entirely on the homework in his lap. He also definitely didn’t focus on just where his lap was situated, still hanging over Raph’s legs because Casey’s couch was too small for them both like this.

Sometimes Raph’s tail would twitch and slide around, since it was pinned under Casey’s legs, and Casey would have to focus a bit harder on his homework.

He stubbornly didn’t move though. Because he liked doing this, and he had an essay to do, and he was comfortable dammnit. Frustrating feelings he didn’t want to deal with weren’t going to chase him off, no siree.

By the time he finished his essay, edited, saved, and sent to his teacher, it was time to go over to April’s. Raph didn’t make any comment on Casey easing himself out of the couch pile, and Casey only said a quick goodbye before he left.

He ended up on April’s couch instead a few minutes later, screaming into her throw pillows while April patted his head.

“It was domestic. Domestic and terrible.”

“Oh I’ll bet.”

“April help I’m feeling things, make it stop.”

“When have you listened to anyone? I’m not going to even try.”

“Apriiiiiiiiiiiiil…”

“I’ve said it a number of times, and I’ll say it again. You do these things to yourself, Jones.”

Casey glared up at her, April ignoring his glare as she continued watching the horror movie they had on her television. He turned his head back into the pillow beside April’s thigh, and resumed screaming into it.

She put a hand on his head, and patted it gently. “Oh Casey. I don’t know how you’ve survived this long.”

Casey yelled louder into the pillow.

“Have you thought about where you’re going to go with these ‘feelings’ of yours?”

“No,” Casey said miserably to his pillow. “Like. Fuck. Number one rule: don’t feel anything for a dude you don’t know the sexuality of. It’s a one way ticket to feeling like shit.”

“Hm.”

“I made that mistake a couple times.”

“Oh Casey,” April said again, carding her fingers into his hair. “You’re making a fine mess of yourself. Can’t you just turn the feelings off?”

“That’s not how feelings work, April.”

“Sounds fake but okay.”

“You sound fake.”

A couple screams of terror came from the television, and April made an interested sound at something that sounded like a dead body falling to the ground.

Casey rolled away from his pillow, staring at the television. Someone else died on screen, joining their friend on the floor. He thought that might’ve been the couple characters.

“He has to leave anyways,” Casey said. “There’s no point.”

“Hmmm…” April replied, scratching his scalp still.

“You’re not helping anything, April.”

“Casey, I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“ ‘that must really suck, I’m sorry your life is awful’. Or something.”

“That must really suck. I’m sorry your life is awful,” April said with only a hint of smarm.

Casey lifted his head and let it drop heavily back against her thigh. “There you go. Was that so hard?”

“Oh, just the worst.”

 Casey snorted a laugh, which drew one out of April, and they both ended up giggling together while another two people died on screen.

Casey laughter tapered off, and he sighed.

He didn’t even need to speak. April knew what he was thinking anyways.

“You’ll figure things out,” April said, patting his head only a little patronizingly. “You usually do, even if it involves destruction of property and ill-used house products.”

“Okay that was one time with the Febreeze. One time.”

“One time too many.”

“Like you do less dangerous shit.”

“I do it in my lab, not someone’s basement.”

“We don’t have a basement, so you just use your bathroom and kitchen.”

“Hush. At least it’s my own property.”

“Hypocrite.”

  When Casey returned to his apartment, after spending two movies worth of ranting at April, Raph was still on the couch.

He’d changed back into his mostly human form, and was lounging comfortably. He raised a hand to Casey. “Yo.”

Casey found himself grinning, despite the thoughts he was very carefully pushing to the back of his mind. “Yo.”

It was a novel feeling, coming home to somebody.

It was nice and cozy feeling for about five seconds, and then a portal opened in the middle of the living room, spewing both Mikey and about a hundred little demony bat things into the air.

Casey spent the next two hours herding and squashing things with his hockey stick, and didn’t have any more time to linger on Raph or his thoughts.

Casey texted April before he went to sleep, just to check in why she hadn’t come to find out what all the noise had been about.

 yo april

surprised you didnt bust in with the super-soaker

figured we made enough noise to wake the dead

 I only heard the first five minutes of it, and then I put some of my noise cancelling headphones on.

 cold, apes

 cooooooold

 I figured you could take care of yourself. You are you after all.

If you ended up dead, I promise I would have mourned you for at least a week.

 cooooooooooooooooooooooooold

 Oh hush up. You’re fine you big baby.

 my heart is hurting you monster

 You’re the one with a literal monster in your apartment.

Two in fact.

 yeah and both of them are fucking up my couch springs with their fat demon asses

 Interesting, and you know for a fact that they are ‘fat demon asses’?

Just where have you been looking, Casey?

 shut up

 Interesting.

 im not talking to you anymore

im deleting your contact

 Maybe I’ll finally get some peace that way.

 watch me im doing it right now

 Goodnight Casey, have fun with your call boy.

 SHUT UP

DONT CALL HIM THAT

AND ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT ALL THIS AND NOT TEASE ME

 I can do both.

Also. You’re the one who used the term first, while we were discussing your ‘budding feelings’.

You said, and I quote, “It’s like I rang up a call boy for a one-night thing, and then it got serious”.

*Eyebrow waggle*

 S H U T   U P

I HATE YOU SO MUCH

STOP WAGGLING THOSE EYEBROWS

YOURE BANNED FROM EYEBROW WAGGLING

 You’re like my own personal soap-opera, Casey.

 SHUUUUUUT

UUUUUUUUP

 Casey swore he could hear April laughing at him through the walls, and he scowled.

Mikey turned out to be less of a hassle, once Casey laid some ground rules about him hanging around.

No summoning portals in the living room. Or the bathroom. Gore stayed on the balcony, and got cleaned up before the neighbors saw. Under no circumstances did you touch April’s plants. Don’t go near April’s apartment at all. Keep the TV volume low at night, and when he was studying. Demon brawls were done outside the house, and if you damaged the furniture before getting there, you fixed it. No killing or soul sucking anyone within a fifty miles radius of the apartments. Do not ever- and Casey really meant ever- touch April’s plants.

Mikey listened to most of the rules, except about staying off April’s balcony.

She’d come outside to water the tens of potted plants she had there, seen Mikey perching on the railing like a demented stray cat, and turned around to go back inside. Casey, who’d been smoking on his own balcony and quietly resigned to Mikey bringing April’s version of hell down on them all, raised an eyebrow at the cocky grin Mikey gave him.

The grin vanished as April reappeared with the super-soaker, and blasted the demon off her balcony. Mikey went down with a yowl, spiralling towards the ground below and landing in an undignified heap.

“He’s fine,” Raph whispered from behind Casey, glancing after at his brother. “He could probably take a nuclear war head and be fine. He’s just a drama queen.”

“Keep off my damn lawn,” April said, leveling the gun threatening at Casey and Raph. The shorter demon edged behind Casey, and Casey held his hands up in surrender.

“We will, I swear,” Casey promised.

“Mikey might not, but you can- you know.” Raph suggested, sticking his arm around Casey and gesturing at the gun.

“Oh I will. I most certainly will.” April said, eyes narrowed and dangerous. She then lowered the gun, and finished watering her plants.

As April shut her balcony doors behind her, and Casey sighed in relief.

“She scares me,” Raph admitted under his breath.

“She scares everyone,” Casey said comfortingly.

A whiny yowl came from down below.

“Except Mikey.”

“Everyone at least a little sane.”

continued.