#i think i'm just still feeling. rather awful. abt picking the wrong mobility tool for the movies
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me @ myself after not being able to fall asleep all night
#mol.txt#i SHOULD be tired#i'm literally recovering from surgery there's no reason for me not to be tired#i took my full variety of pain meds and i am! not tired#sometimes tho the pain meds do the no pain thing and then my body and brain are like! no pain! lets go!#my arms are still KILLING me from trying to crutch all over the place#i need to fucking. apply for jobs meanwhile i cannot walk#i haven't been on crutches like this in a While like not properly since i was like. 15#and my dumb ass was like. i'm gonna be fineeee i've done it before!#yeah lmao 12 years ago! before your chronic illness rly set in! u clown!#anyway if i had to bet id guess mh next surgery is right shoulder#followed by sacrum#mostly a little terrified this is the rest of my life and i'll have to rely on ppl to help me get around and pray they don't wanna dip#idk! i think i'm pmsing ! my intestines are a disaster! i miss walking!#everything is bleak and it's so cold today we might as well just pack it all in#i think i'm just still feeling. rather awful. abt picking the wrong mobility tool for the movies#real fucking humbling to break down sobbing in an amc downtown u know#not from a movie. just from trying to get to the box office from the elevator#saw a hallway and genuinely lost my goddamn mind#idk! idk!!! just sometimes. so deeply demoralizing. idk#well anyway! just have to!! keep moving!#it's 5 am and i am awake so. gonna play on my switch and try to convince myself my foot doesn't hurt u know
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