#i think i'm doing fine does it sound like it :)

[alchemistc]

Everything's so damn dark when the blindfold slips off that for a second she can't see a thing.

Don't panic. Don't scream. Don't hurt the baby.

Something groans at her feet and she startles straight into the pipe behind her head.

"'lo?" A voice asks, familiar enough to give her pause, and she wonders for a moment if this is a joke, if this is a trick, if this - "s'there?"

His words are slurred. A concussion, maybe, then. Great. Biggest man she knows and he's gonna be a useless pile of puke to her.

Don't panic, Maddie reminds herself, and then she starts giggling.

"Tommy?"

He groans an affirmative.

"Oh good. I feel a lot better about getting overpowered, now."

A hand grabs for her ankle and Maddie bites back a scream. It's Tommy's hand, big and warm and - fully unbound, which feels a little unfair. "Cunt drugged me," he says, then pauses. Squeezes her ankle. "Sorry for the language."

"No, it's, uh - I think it's warranted this time."

Maddie can't remember exactly how it'd happened to her. Had she been hit? Is she injured? She does a mental tally. Her lip feels swollen. Nose and eyes feel fine, though, so maybe she bit it? Neck, shoulders, all good. She's been bending her elbows and wrists just fine, she just doesn't have the leverage to do anything about the zip ties keeping her affixed to the probably pipe behind her. Hips, legs, knees. She wiggles her toes and in the darkness Tommy chuckles. "Everything accounted for?"

He must have done his own check while she was working through hers. She can hear him rustling around. "I'm still incredibly mad at you, but it's nice to hear your voice," she says, and Tommy goes still. "Tommy? All good?"

"...why are you mad at me?"

"Like you don't know?" Oh. Actually maybe she is more mad than she is glad. "You broke my brother's heart, idiot. I don't have any more room in my entire house for the coping mechanism he's come up with." She kicks, a little. Tommy grunts and shifts. "I hope that hit something painful and non-essential to our escape."

"He's - he'll be fine."

"What exactly is your definition of fine? Because it's been a few months and he's still bringing me baked goods on a bi-weekly basis."

"Bi-weekly like -."

"Do not get pedantic on me, Kinard. Two times a week. What's your status? Moving parts all still moving?"

"I think my balls have taken a vacation, but that's more a reflection on how terrifying you are than on this current situation."

Flippant. Sarcasm in the face of Maddie trying to get a full picture. Buck had called him funny and charming. Maddie's second kick doesn't land, but only because he's got a hand wrapped around her foot. "Once we're out of here, I'm gonna punch you in the face."

He hums. "For the balls comment, or the cunt thing?"

Maddie shrugs. Remembers that he can't see it. "Which part of 'broke my brother's heart' are you not getting?"

He sounds like he's moving gingerly. She can hear heavy bulky fabric rustle and she wonders if he's in three layers like usual. She could use something warm. "I - figured he'd be over it by now."

Maddie snorts. If she had to make a guess, Tommy glowers at the noise. "Dumbass."

And then it hits her. "The cunt? Skinny, brunette, pretty? Kind of...angular face?"

Tommy hums and takes her weight as she tries to kick again. "Sounds like her."

"Oh, Buck's gonna be pissed and embarrassed. She's rebound attempt number two."

Tommy's silent long enough that Maddie has to check in. He hums, and goes back to silence. "Rebound attempt?"

"If you hadn't noticed, we've actually been kidnapped, so maybe I can save your relationship afterwards?"

"I think she was trying to kill me," Tommy admits. "Otherwise why am I unbound in this shitty Saw knockoff?"

Maddie feels some extra pieces dropping into place. Oh, Buck is never gonna live this down actually.

"Can you overpower her if she comes in?"

"If she's not quick to try to drug me again. If I can figure out where the fucking door is. If -."

"A yes or no is fine. Pretty sure she's the Bay Butcher, if that helps you answer."

His pause is long. "...maybe," he says, and accepts the kick this time without block or protest.

[bucktommyscones]

Post 8x5 fic because Lou said so. (Not really, but kind of.) This got a little hornier than I'm sure we would have gotten, but you know, when in Rome. Also, isn't it great how the season ended with this ep? What an awfully short season. Oh well.

"No."

Tommy can't see him from where he's navigating them back to Evan's place, but he just knows he's pouting. After nearly six months, his Evan senses are always tingling.

"Oh come on," Evan whines. "Just pull over into an overlook or something. Bet I can get you off in no time."

Tommy snorts a laugh. "I'm sorry, is that supposed to make me want to do it? I thought you had a better sense of my abilities than that, Boil Boy."

Evan considers this and Tommy can see his grin out of his peripheral vision. He should look ridiculous with those damn things on his face, but he looks like an adorable brat, which is as per usual these days.

"Okay, that didn't come out right."

"No one's coming any time soon," Tommy says, turning on his signal to change lanes.

Evan snickers. "Fine, fine. No public sex for us. I get it. Can I get you out of that suit and get your dick in my mouth when we get to my place?"

Tommy reaches over and pinches his thigh, gratified when Evan jumps a little.

"Hey! Rude."

"Why are you so horny all of a sudden?"

"All of a sudden? I thought you knew me by now, Tommy."

Tommy laughs again. "Okay, okay."

"Besides," Evan says, and if Tommy isn't mistaken, his voice sounds...hesitant? "I just want to thank you. You know, for driving three hours from home to go to a dead outlaw's funeral."

Tommy feels himself melt. "You don't have to thank me. I enjoyed it."

"You did?" Evan sounds surprised.

"Seeing you in your element all cute and earnest? Getting to spend time with you? I'll do it any time."

Evan runs a hand through the hair on the back of Tommy's head, affectionate and warm. He loves it when Evan does that.

"How can you possibly think I'm cute right now?" Evan wonders and this is not the first time he's asked.

"I always think you're cute. Even when you're gross."

Evan's laugh is infectious and Tommy laughs with him. He leans forward in his seat and smacks a kiss to Tommy's cheek. "I like you, Tommy Kinard."

"I like you too, Evan Buckley," Tommy says. "Chinese on the way home?"

"Sounds good," Evan confirms. "Wanna make out on the couch and watch a movie? Then I can get your dick in my mouth?"

Tommy grins because watching a movie always turns into something else. "You're on."

tag list:

@desert--moonchild @sazzynatural, @multishippinghussy, @mmso-notlikethat, @esendoran

@sunnywithachanceofbi, @sleepywinchesters, @buck-up-buckley, @manifestingchaoticvibes, @corvid-cryptidd

@lbltpsmspenguin, @theotherbuckley, @cliophilyra, @actuallyitsellie, @thecarrott

@talktonytome, @misstommykinard, @the-omniscient-narrator, @bobbinsnash, @a-mel0n

@hyperfocusthusly, @mayorjack, @marvelousbuckley, @swagmaster9k

@byunbuckjunmy, @rutathenurse, @sluttytommykinard, @bidisasterevankinard

[makeitmingi]

When Flowers Bloom In The Dark [Chapter 7]

Genre: Romance, Mafia!AU, Violence, Angst, Slow burn

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Florist!Reader, Mafioso!Hongjoong, Mafioso!Seonghwa, Mafioso!Yunho, Mafioso!Yeosang, Mafioso!San, Mafioso!Mingi, Mafioso!Wooyoung, Mafioso!Jongho

Summary: When you appeared and wept at his mother's funeral, Hongjoong found himself wanting to find out more about you. A regular girl, who owns a flower shop in his territory and has a relationship with the mother that he hasn't spoken to in years, why hasn't he ever noticed you before?

[Warning(s): 18+ for violence, use of weapons, smoking, alcohol consumption, slight gore, gang affiliation, tattoos and character deaths. Minors DNI. This is a work of fiction and does not represent the Ateez members in real life.]

Word count: 3.2K

Chapter warning(s): Y/n gets accosted twice, "panic" attack (she shuts down)

"Oh! Sorry, I thought you were someone else, you sounded like him." You blinked at the stranger. The guy laughed and shook his head, a drink in his hand. Between him and the bar counter, you suddenly felt very cornered and uncomfortable.

"I was wondering if I could buy you a drink?" He asked with a smile.

"No, thank you. I bought my own drink." You shook your glass with your drink, trying to slink away but with so many people crowding the bar, it was difficult.

"Ah, looks like I was too slow then. Can I at least have a drink with you then?" He laughed, trying to be nice.

"I really should be getting back to my friends. They are looking for me." You tried to go past him but he grasped your wrist tightly.

"You know, I tried being nice. It's not nice to be so unfriendly in a place like this." He chided, his tone suddenly changing. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Do you expect me to be honoured then? Doesn't mean you make advances means I have to accept them." You couldn't bite your tongue.

"You-" He was about to say something.

"(y/n), I've been looking for you." Now it was a familiar voice. You turned to Jihoon with a soft sigh of relief. Jihoon immediately wrapped his arm around you, pulling you to his side, glowering at the man who had let your wrist go. Looking up, you saw Hyunwoo standing there too.

"Got a problem here?" Hyunwoo raised an eyebrow. With his muscles, it was normal for the guy to be intimidated by him. You merely looked away, not saying anything.

"Let's go." Jihoon threw a last dirty look at the guy and escorted you back to the table.

"Are you okay?" He looked down at you with a frown.

"I'm fine, Jihoon. Don't worry, you and Hyunwoo came at the right time. Thank you." You smiled softly. He nodded with a hum and you went to sit down.

"I'm going to find Nana and Eve. We should go." Hyunwoo said, leaving before you could protest.

"No, it's fine! You guys should stay and enjoy yourselves. I think I'll go home." You told Jihoon, you felt bad that they had to leave.

"You shouldn't leave on your own. I'll take you home." Jihoon shook his head.

"The exit is just there. Really, I'll be okay, I'm sober to make it home on my own. Make sure Nana and Eve get home safely, hmm?" You squeezed his hand. Jihoon knew you were stubborn and reluctantly agreed. You wrapped an arm around him to hug him.

"Text me when you get home." He whispered.

"I will. Let me know when you guys are home too. And send me my portion of the bill." You hummed and grabbed your bag, heading to the exit.

"Thank you." You smiled to the bouncer who opened the velvet rope for you. He gave a nod in reply as you made your way out.

"Hey!" You were suddenly yanked away, causing you stumble. You came face to face with the man earlier.

"Oh, so where are your two friends, huh? They just left you on your own?" He sneered, getting close to your face. You leaned back as he was invading your space.

"Do you not know when to give up?" You tried to break free of his grip. You shoved him back, causing him to let go of your hand.

"You're going to pay for that. And for embarrassing me earlier." He growled.

"Leave me alone and maybe I won't go to the police." You glared at him. You were tired of arguing with him, you wanted to go home and he was seriously getting on your last nerve. But he shoved you against the wall harshly, making you let out a groan as the pain stunned your momentarily.

"I think that's enough." A voice entered and the man was grabbed by the collar, yanked back, away from you. You let out a shaky breath as a suit-clad body stood in front of you.

"H-Hongjoong..." You said shakily, looking at the back of his head. He didn't turn to look at you.

"I've watched you from earlier. You just don't know when to give up. Why don't I give you a taste of your own medicine?" He chuckled.

"H-Hey man. I was just fooling around, I'm sorry." The man took a step back in fear. Hongjoong merely laughed again before he stopped and punched the guy.

"Hongjoong!" You gasped in shock but he was not stopping, raining down punches on the man.

"Hongjoong, stop." You tried to call him.

At that point, it wasn't about saving you anymore. Hongjoong felt so much blind rage and he just couldn't stop. This man just appeared at the wrong place, at the wrong time and became the object for Hongjoong to vent his anger.

"Please." You sat on the ground, covering your ears and shutting your eyes. You were so stunned, you couldn't bring yourself to get up and leave the place.

"What's going on here?" Seonghwa came out, witnessing the scene in front of him.

"Hongjoong, what did you do?" He asked. That snapped Hongjoong out of it. He looked down at the guy's face that was bloodied.

"Shit..." He turned to see you absolutely horrified and terrified. Seonghwa frowned, unsure of what to do now. Luckily, Yunho was quick to go to your side.

"Hey, (y/n). It's me, Yunho." He gently removed your hands from your ears so you could hear him.

"Y-Yunho sshi." You stuttered, unable to breathe. Luckily, Yunho used his body to block your view. He smiled softly.

"Breathe. Let's go." He spoke softly, helping you to your feet. Your legs were so wobbly, you leaned on him, letting him guide you to wherever it was, as long as you were no longer here.

"Here." Once again, he led you up the stairs and brought you to an empty room. You figured it could be a place for VIPs to sit and drink but with all the lights on, it just looked like a regular room with couches. He grabbed a blanket from the basket and put it around you, hopefully it'll bring you some comfort.

"Let me go get you some water. Breathe, it's okay." He said. You nodded slowly, not being able to tell him you wanted him to stay.

"Be right back." He stood up and left the room to get water.

"Yun, what's happening?" Mingi asked his best friend, having bumped into him as he left the room you were in. As he walked to get you water, Yunho filled Mingi in on what happened.

"Damn... So where's the girl now?" Mingi questioned.

"In the room I came from. I left Seonghwa hyung with Hongjoong hyung. I think they'll need a clean up crew." Yunho said.

"On it." Mingi took his phone out and texted for a clean up crew. When Yunho retrieved a cold bottle of water for you, the two went back upstairs.

"I'll go let the others know what happened." Mingi said and parted ways with Yunho, who went back to you.

"I'm so sorry, Yunho sshi. This is all my fault, Hongjoong sshi was just trying to help me. If the owner asks what happened, just tell them it was all me. I didn't mean to cause trouble." You told the male the moment he entered the room.

"(y/n) sshi, it's not your fault, you didn't cause any trouble. And don't worry about Hongjoong hyung. He won't get in trouble with the owner." Yunho assured, opening the bottle for you.

"You're sure?" You asked, gulping the cold water.

"Seeing as to how he's the owner, I'm sure he'll be fine." Yunho tried to joke. Your jaw slacked slightly in surprise.

"So don't worry about him. Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" Yunho questioned. You shook your head, hands shaking slightly as you clutched the blanket.

"It could be the adrenaline, that's why you don't feel any pain even if you are injured." He said.

"I-Is Hongjoong okay?" You finally asked.

Yunho was surprised by your question. He thought after what you witnessed, you would have asked whether the other guy was okay. If you did, Yunho wouldn't know how to answer that, he didn't know if the guy made it out alive. Maybe the realisation of what actually happened hasn't sunken in for you yet.

"Feel better?" Seonghwa asked, the smoking cigarette between his fingers. Hongjoong blinked then shrugged, it did feel good to vent his emotions out.

"Should have just went to the fight club." He shot his best friend a small smile.

"Clean up crew is coming. We should head in." Seonghwa said and Hongjoong nodded, standing straight and heading in with him.

"Where's (y/n)?" Hongjoong asked.

"Yunho brought her to one of the rooms to calm her down. Mingi's the one that called clean up." Seonghwa informed, walking up the stairs with his hands tucked into his pockets.

"I should find (y/n) and talk to her." Hongjoong said as Seonghwa opened the door to the VIP room that the others were in.

"Hyung, are you okay?" San stood up.

"I'm fine. I can't say the same for the other guy though." Hongjoong nodded his head, taking the glass of whiskey Wooyoung offered to him and took a sip. The other guys all had had relieved looks on their faces while some even laughed.

"Let me go find (y/n)." Hongjoong turned to the door and almost bumped into Yunho, who was entering the room.

"(y/n)'s looking for you..." Yunho informed. At Yunho's words, the rest of the people in the room, including Hongjoong, had surprised looks on their faces.

"She is?" Hongjoong blinked. Yunho nodded and held the door open for him, pointing to where you were.

"(y/n) sshi? Can I come in?" Hongjoong knocked. He heard the soft hum from you and entered, closing the door behind him.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly, approaching your huddled form.

"I-I'm fine. But Yunho sshi thinks it could be a-adrenaline." You tried to look okay but Hongjoong could see how much you were trembling. He sat by you, where Yunho sat earlier.

"Drink this. It'll help." He held out the whiskey glass from his hand. With two shaky hands, you received the crystal glass and carefully took a sip. You winced at the burn and bitterness that hit your tongue. Hongjoong thought you were going to hand it back to him but you suddenly gulped the rest down.

"Woah, slow down." Taking the glass from you, he gave you the bottle of water from the table.

"What about y-you? Are you okay? W-Were you hurt?" You asked with a gulp, eyes trailing to the bruises on his knuckles. Hongjoong nodded his head.

"You are hurt." Hongjoong caught sight of your bruised wrist as you capped the waterbottle. You blinked and looked at your wrist.

"Oh." You looked at it.

"Hang on." Standing up, Hongjoong went to the door and yelled out for someone to get him a first aid kit. You couldn't see who it was but Hongjoong took the first aid kit from someone and returned to you.

"It's just a bruise..." You whispered. Hongjoong placed the first aid box on the table and opened it.

"I guess I wish I had the balm you made." Hongjoong tried to joke about small pot of homemade balm that you had given him.

"Y-You still have it with you?" You couldn't help your curiosity. Hongjoong hummed, his ears turning red. He held his hand out for you to show him your wrist. He was gently in applying a regular ointment over your wrist and wrapping it so it wouldn't smudge.

"Thank you, Hongjoong sshi." You said softly, looking at the bandage he tried his best to wrap neatly.

"No problem. It's the least I could do since you were injured in my establishment." Hongjoong replied, keeping the first aid stuff back into the box.

"It's okay, it's not your fault..." You murmured.

"I think I should go home now." You stood up and nearly fell over, feeling the throb in your ankle.

"Woah, careful." Hongjoong caught you, resulting in you leaning against his body, your face pressed into his chest. You winced as you tried to stand back up.

"Where are you hurt?" Hongjoong frowned with worry.

"It's fine. It's just my ankle." You tried your best to hide the pain but Hongjoong could see the grimace of pain.

"No, it's not fine. Let me get it checked out. Or at least sit down and ice it for a bit before you go." He insisted with a small frown. You chewed on your bottom lip. Being here was slowly making you feel more stressed and anxious, right now you just wanted to get out of here and go home.

"Hongjoong sshi. Please... I just want to go home." Tears filled your eyes. You couldn't control the way they fell down your face, they were not stopping.

"Alright, I'll take you home." He whispered, suddenly feeling a tightness in his chest from guilt as he watched you cry.

"Come on." Putting your arm around his shoulders, he helped you out of the room and down the stairs.

"Boss." The workers bowed to him as you passed them but he didn't acknowledge them. He led you to the VIP entrance in the back where the car was already waiting for you.

"Mr Kim." The driver opened the door for both of you. Hongjoong helped you in and removed his jacket, draping it over your lap.

"Hongjoong hyung." Yeosang called out to him just as he closed the door.

"I'm taking her home." Hongjoong informed. The 7 of them nodded and Hongjoong entered the other side to sit with you. You wiped your remaining tears with your hands, sniffling slightly.

Thankfully, Hongjoong didn't talk to you the rest of the trip home. You were so tired but your mind was racing. Whatever happened tonight has never happened to you before, you didn't know what to do and how to react.

"(y/n) sshi... We're here." His voice made you jump slightly. You blinked and looked up, seeing that you were indeed outside your apartment building.

"Oh... Thanks." You removed his jacket from your lap and got out of the car, standing on both legs.

"Let me escort you up, at least." Hongjoong came out from his side of the car.

"N-No, it's okay. I'd rather go up on my own." You shook your head. Hongjoong sighed and nodded his head, realising that he might be pushing you too much.

"Look, (y/n) sshi. I'm sorry about tonight and-"

"If it's okay with you, I would not like to think or revisit what happened tonight." You cut him off with a polite smile.

"Right..." He nodded. You cleared your throat and bowed gratefully to him before limping into your apartment building. Hongjoong stood there, making sure you went in safely before going into the car.

You entered your apartment and made sure to lock the door, leaning against the front door with a sigh. The first thing you did was text your friends that you were home. They may give you hell for texting them so late but you knew that they were just good friends and worried about you.

"Oh god..." You covered your mouth as you started to remember what happened tonight.

"What have I gotten myself into?" You asked yourself in disbelief. Did Mrs Kim know about Hongjoong and not tell you? Was there an underlying motive in getting to know you?

But what would Mrs Kim or Hongjoong want with you?

"No, no. Maybe she didn't know." You shook your head. Give wanted to give Mrs Kim the benefit of doubt.

"My son, he can be short tempered but underneath, he's just trying to protect everyone that he loves." Mrs Kim smiled softly as you poured more tea for her.

"He's a good son then." You hummed.

"He is. Even if I have a lot of faults and haven't been the best mother to him, he grew up to be a good man." She said.

"I hope you two can reconcile soon. It seems like you had a good relationship." You reached over to hold her hand. Mrs Kim merely shot you a sad smile that showed she thought otherwise.

"Maybe." Was all she said.

Hongjoong stood by his office window, staring out into the night sky. He sipped the whiskey from his glass, a soft sigh escaping him. As the leader of Ateez, he was never really open with his feelings. He didn't really like to feel vulnerable around anyone.

"You've been keeping everything in. So I guess it could have happened at any time when all your feelings come pouring out." Seonghwa said, sitting on the couch.

"It's annoying." Hongjoong sighed.

"Well, you're human, Joong. Even if you don't like your feelings, they'll always be there." Seonghwa chuckled.

"I don't even know her. But whenever she's around, I feel so conflicted. I'm angry and a part of me wants to resent her but I also want to talk to her." Hongjoong turned away from the window.

"Because whether you want to admit it or not, you want to know more about your mother." Seonghwa pointed out.

"This is so unnecessary, I don't need this." He groaned.

"But it is what it is. If you were to sit with her and learn more about your mother, can you say for certain that you'll be able to control your emotions?" Seonghwa asked.

"No. The mere mention of my mother by her makes me so..." Hongjoong clenched his fists.

"I'm not ready to hear what a wonderful person my mother was." He said bitterly.

"Then stay away until you are. Don't forget, it's not just about you. She has to be ready to hear your side too. To hear what your mother did to you and what your relationship was like." Seonghwa reminded. Hongjoong nodded glumly, that was another thing he didn't want to bring to the surface again.

"Look, after tonight, give her space to breathe. We just have to focus on other work for now, Ateez needs you." Seonghwa squeezed Hongjoong's shoulder.

"Mmm, I know. Thanks for holding down the fort, Seonghwa ah." Hongjoong shot his friend a smile.

"Of course. We're all behind you, supporting you, Joong." The taller hummed.

"She's not from our world, our normal is not her normal. And the less people in our world, the better." Seonghwa reminded. Hongjoong agreed, they've become so desensitised to violence and death.

"I'm worried that my mother's relationship with her has pulled her into our world, whether she wants it or not." Hongjoong said.

"Maybe, maybe not." Seonghwa shrugged.

Although Seonghwa didn't want to push Hongjoong to work more when he was already such a workaholic, he knew Ateez will serve as a distraction from you.

"About the guy from earlier..." Hongjoong's voice broke Seonghwa's train of thought.

"He's alive, in the hospital. But the police won't be investigating, they're just ruling it as a bar fight gone wrong. Even if he wanted to press charges, he can't argue against multiple eye witnesses." Seonghwa said, a glint in his eye.

~

Series masterlist

[alexanderwales]

My web serial, Worth the Candle, has been adapted into a webcomic. This was thanks to my agent, who I have a great fondness for, since without him I would have to spend time trying to make connections and call people and do a bunch of work that I don't know how to do and am not good at.

I was offered the chance to write the webcomic, but declined, mostly because writing Worth the Candle had taken four years and was pretty draining, and was a story that I feel like I'm done with, minus some editorial stuff, answering fan questions, and the odd bit of promotion. So my level of involvement is that I get the pages as they come in, make some comments on them, and generally just give feedback which they are free to ignore.

So let's talk about some of the adaptational changes! You can read the first three issues on Webtoon here, or the first eight issues if you're willing to pay, and the books start here, but I'll assume that you haven't read either, and there won't be substantial spoilers because I'm talking about stuff from the very beginning. Actually, I guess there will be some spoilers, but later on, and I'll mark them, mostly having to do with some foreshadowing that the webcomic does which I didn't do.

(I licensed the rights to make the webcomic to WebToon and took my money upfront, they didn't ask me to write this post, I have not actually asked the artist/writer why they made these changes, it's just me guessing and commenting, for fun. Edit: My agent has informed me that I'm mistaken, I do get a cut. So apologies for the misinformation, and hooray for me, I guess I signed the contract ages ago and just forgot the details.)

Character Design

Here's how Juniper Smith is described in the books, ch 2:

I won’t belabor my physical description. My friend Greg had once said that I looked like someone had chosen ‘default’ for every option in the character creator, which I’d tried to laugh at but cut kind of deep. I wasn’t handsome, I wasn’t ugly, none of my features were very prominent, my eyes were blue, my hair was brown, average build, average height … After Greg had made his comment at one of our D&D games, my nickname had been ‘default’ for a while, at least until I stopped pretending to find it funny, and even after that my friends would use similar lines to trash talk me, saying that I was “the most generic man alive”, “a white bread with skim milk motherfucker”, or “the human equivalent of vanilla ice cream”. Not that I was any less of an asshole to them.

This is how he looks in the comic:

I would more or less give this full marks.

In terms of other aspects of character design, Juniper is here given a black shirt with a red symbol on it rather than the stock white t-shirt he's wearing in the opening chapters of the first book, probably in the interests of adding in some visual variety. On the page, it's perfectly fine that every person in the first 50k words is wearing basically the same stock outfit. In a visual medium, I do think that you need that pop. I do think it's interesting that Juniper is wearing the same clothes in the classroom as he is on the plane, implying that when he transmigrated his clothes ... came with him? I don't know.

The other major character of the first section is Amaryllis, who is a major character in the entire work. Here's her description in the book:

Standing by a workbench, among various car parts, tools, and cans of unidentified fluids, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

I’m not really sure what protocol is here, in terms of prose. I mean, I don’t want to sound like a creep, so maybe I should stay as generic as possible and tell you about her dark red hair pulled back in a braid, the glacial blue of her eyes, how starkly alert she looked as she peered over the parts in front of her, or her grease-smeared clothes. Save for her eyes, I wasn’t really focused on any of that. My mind was consumed by tracing her curves, the shape of her chest in her blood-stained t-shirt, the fullness of her lips and the delicate way she had them parted -- and yeah, it was pretty fucked up that the splatter of blood on her shirt wasn’t worth rating much of a mention. I was consumed with staring at her and thinking how gorgeous she was, until I noticed that she was having a powerful effect on me, at which point different parts of my mind were given over to marveling at the sensation of being so attracted to a girl, and others were still focused on her.

Imagine that someone spent a few years studying your likes and dislikes, running through video of your every private moment, somehow surreptitiously hooking up EKGs to measure your physiological responses without you knowing. Then imagine that they sat down with that data and the best photo manipulation artists in the world and made the absolute perfect picture to cause your heart rate to spike, a jolt to run up your spine, butterflies in your stomach, and a cold sweat on your palms. Then imagine that they did this again, over and over in slight variations, until they had a full 4K 60fps 3D movie to show you. That was what it was like watching her.

And here she is (as she's introduced) in the comic:

Aside from the change in clothes, which in the book are the same white t-shirt and blue jeans that everyone else is wearing, Amaryllis has a scar on her face, of unknown provenance. This was probably added for visual variety, but I do find scars to be very fetching, and in one of the early versions of Worth the Candle she did have one (patterned off a woman with an extremely attractive facial scar I had met, the kind of facial scar that looked like it was applied by a Hollywood makeup artist specifically to give a touch of the exotic and mysterious, except she was a just a Midwestern mom).

And of course Amaryllis was always going to be an adaptational challenge, because the books are told through Juniper's eyes, and she's The Most Beautiful Girl in the World to him, and conventionally attractive to everyone else. Juniper tries to be normal about this. But if you're in the visual medium, you have to show both how Juniper feels and how she actually looks, and attractiveness is just so incredibly personal. My wife and I get in these kinds of discussions a lot, where she'll think someone is good-looking and I'll say "him?" or vice versa.

I think the above panel in particular is a good middle ground, a glamour shot that snaps back to the reality of their first meeting:

(The void gun she's holding there is much different from the one described in the book, not something cobbled together from spare parts and void equipment, but this is another very minor change that I would assume is meant for communicating immediately that this is a lethal weapon, and there's probably not a place for explaining how and from what it was cobbled together, which is also under-explained in the book for reasons of pacing.)

Story

I've read the first nine episodes, and overall, it's hewing very closely. There are a few bits in particular that stand out to me in how they're handled.

Spoilers for later in the series follow, I guess.

These are the opening lines of the webcomic. This is much stronger foreshadowing than I used, and I like it. Part of Juniper's backstory is that he's been deeply depressed and self-destructive, and he's slow to open up about this with other characters or the reader. The "it" that he couldn't go through with is, then, suicide. In the books? This comes very very late. Juniper being depressed after Arthur's death is brought up after the first major arc, halfway through what's now Book 1, and gets more explicit as the books go on, eventually getting to Juniper talking about his attempted suicide with people and grappling with it like ... almost halfway through?

I don't know what the plans for the webcomic are, but my guess is that they're setting up for much, much later on in a way that I didn't. This was always a background element, something that informed Juniper's character, not so much the suicide attempt as the feeling that came after, this understanding that yes, he did want to live, a heady, energizing kind of "I guess I don't have the way out that I thought I did" sort of thing.

So I take it as a good sign that this is the opening line. It points toward them understanding where they're going.

One of the other major adaptational changes is that they signpost Arthur's death with a memorial on his desk:

When I was getting pages, this was one of the first moments where I was like "yes, this is a good change, visual storytelling to replace my walls of text, flows and offers indirect information". I am very happy with the adaptation thus far, and stuff like this is what I love about adaptation in general, the need to grapple with the strengths and weaknesses of the medium.

Content Rating

Worth the Candle gets grim and dark in places. It at least attempts to grapple with serious things. The webcomic is rated Young Adult, and I'm not sure how they're going to handle the later stuff, but I can talk about how they're handling the stuff now, and what I think it means overall.

First, there's a lot less swearing. Worth the Candle in its entirety uses the word "fuck" ~1200 times. Granted, this is over the course of 1.6 million words, so a fuck density of one every 1.3k words, and some of those are in the verb "soulfuck" rather used descriptively, as exclamations, etc. My personal feeling is that this doesn't matter basically at all. I don't think I notice when someone isn't swearing unless they're using corny substitutions or trying to get cute with it.

Second, the violence is toned down in that YA way, where they're still showing much of the same things, just not with the same level of visceral detail. When a Marvel comic has someone thrown into a wall, they're no blood or snapping of bones or mangling of bodies, at least if it's a comic at a certain rating (I have definitely read some edgy 90s comics that do go hard on the violence). I think, overall, that this isn't my preference, which might be obvious from the way that I try to write fight scenes and such. But I'm also sort of inured to this toning down of violence, since it's omnipresent.

Third, there's the sex stuff, and ... well, it hasn't come up in the webcomic yet. I think I laid out my reasoning for why I think sex scenes should be written/included in Why to Write a Sex Scene, but the brief version is that sometimes you're showing how characters relate to each other, what they think of each other, and the sex scene shouldn't always just be something that's skipped over and left to the reader's imagination, because things happen, there are moments of communication, it can and does develop a relationship in the moment rather than after the fact. Plus a little titillation is, in my opinion, usually good.

The great thing about writing webfic is that no one can stop you from just including three solid chapters of hardcore pornography in the middle of your story. I have never done that, but I could is the point, and I would only get complaints from people who have no power over me. That same freedom doesn't exist here, and ... yeah, it makes my heart sink a little bit.

Fourth, there's some of the more mature content stuff, the topics that might not be broached. I don't know how they're handling that, so I reserve judgment, but I think my opinion is probably going to be "well, you do what you have to do", and if my version of the story is superior because there are no brakes, then I can be smugly superior about that.

Conclusion

This is already a fairly long post, and there are a few other things that I could have remarked on, but I think this is all the most interesting stuff.

Alright, just one real quick: Arthur is adaptationally more attractive, though this is also how Juniper sees Arthur and I think by the standards of webcomics, this is actually sort of necessary. Most of the flashback cast is not described until much later on, and by then you kind of know and understand them from the things they've said, if you can keep track of them. Many of the flashbacks are nearly disembodied. But if you're showing Arthur early, then the first impression he's going to make is in his appearance, and that really anchors people.

So overall, I am happy with the adaptation. There are challenges ahead, and I'm thankful that I'm not the one who needs to tackle those challenges.

[belbelcries]

♡How to try and be productive when you are bedrotting♡

These are some tips and tricks that help me a lot, and I want to share them with all of you ♡

We all know how hard living can get, especially when we have things that we must do but can't get ourselves to do them even if we really want to.

If you want to try to change that, keep on reading ♡

Start by writing down what you have to do:

It might sound a bit dumb, but it helps you to visualize what you have to do! For this part, try not to write too many things so you don't end up overwhelming yourself.

If you need to keep yourself accountable, you can set reminders and/or tell a friend to ask you about it!

Start working little by little:

When I need to study something that works for me , I start slowly getting into the mood of studying to get the motivation!

For example: if I have the reading material on my tablet or phone, I start by just reading, not trying to highlight or learn anything, just read in the same way you are reading this now, and if it has any videos to go with I start by watching those!

During this time, you can use the ponodoro method and read for 10 minutes and have a 5 minutes break until you feel the spark of doing it for longer.

Once you feel that spark, you can try and start studying for real/do what you need to do.

Tip! Remember to always start from the easiest thing.

Slowly try to get out of bed:

I think that this might be a difficult one. When I want to get out of bed, I can't help myself to do it all at once. What I do is step by step. How does it work? Easy, first I try to sit on my bed and slowly moving myself so I'm sitting in the corner of the bed with my feet touching the floor, so finally, when I feel like it, I stand up. Of course, this takes some time, and it will vary from person to person.

Change clothes, do your bed or take a shower:

I find doing these things really helpful to set another mindset, one that says, "This is important, I have to do it." I know that it can be hard sometimes to do these daily things, so don't be so harsh on yourself if you can't do it!

Find something to motivate yourself:

It can be giving yourself time to do something that you really like, getting a drink after doing it, buying yourself a little something, basically giving yourself a little treat after accomplishing your task.

I like to buy something nice or make myself my fav tea or a coffee!

Don't be so harsh on yourself!!:

If you are already having a hard time trying to be productive, don't punish yourself even more!! I know that we all have self-destructive tendencies, but for this stuff, we gotta try to fight them!!

Try to give yourself some love in order to try to do your best, and by best, I don't mean a 100%, of the best you can do at that moment is a 50% or a 20% that's okey dokey!!

This is the end of these tips and tricks for now.

Remember, this is what works for me, and if it doesn't work for you, it's perfectly fine because we are not the same person. The important thing here is that you are trying to do something for yourself and get some work done, and just for that, I'm proud of you!! ♡♡

If you want to share your opinions and help others by commenting or reblogging, you are more than welcome to!!

Pls take care, bye-bye, pretty angel~♡

[xalandrix]

i totally agree with all of this, but when i finally found the OP there was a nuance that stuck out to me:

... their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

maybe it's just me, but that does sound... extremely fucking discouraging tbh. not that they didn't comment, but that they didn't see the point of commenting. that's different from "i don't know what to say" or "i don't always have the energy" or "i meant to and i forgot" or "i cannot bear for this person to perceive me in any way" or "i didn't like it enough to comment" or any other reason. that's all totally fine!

but if the prevailing attitude were truly "why would i talk to authors???" i think that would negatively affect my enthusiasm for writing. to me that almost feels like not thinking of writers as part of the community - not recognizing that we're also people you can talk to, in that little box right there at the bottom of the page. you don't have to! just recognize that it's something that you could do, and we would love it if you did (i know I'm preaching to the choir lol just trying to be clear)

re - your last post, as a writer i find that to be an absurd take. people who write exclusively for validation probably shouldn't. if discovering your work is enjoyed and loved - just privately - is a dealbreaker for you, i think there are probably bigger issues that need to be worked through. the idea that we write fic for free and yet this discussion about "payment" through kudos/comments persists is so backwards and obnoxious.

sorry to tag you on this, obv you have nothing to do with op, but i just wanted to say - as a writer recs are a HUGE deal. to know that you liked something enough to share it with others is the biggest compliment for me personally. thanks for doing what you do.

I’m happy you reached out because this is a really interesting perspective. I definitely see increased messaging around comments = payment that pressures readers into thinking they are required to leave comments, and I agree that there are many layers in this convo that point out to a not-so-healthy relationship with fandom.

I find it hard to join this discussion not being an author myself, because I only have the privileged perspective. Ofc I understand how important feedback can be to boost newcomers and those who don’t feel part of the community. We all deal with insecurity in different ways and it’s hard to navigate a big fandom when you don’t have a group of friends to rely on. In the end the fandom experience is about a sense of belonging and it saddens me to realize that I might be part of the problem since my recs only reach Tumblr and my ao3 comments are far and few in between.

It’s funny because my blog has always targeted other readers: at the beginning I didn’t even tag authors and did not expect them to find or engage with my posts. Over the years the recs became more and more personal, until I realized I was writing them for myself. Sure, they are love letters to the fic and might help more people find them, but at the end of the day this is my little therapy corner where I can let go and babble around to my heart’s content 🙏🏼 I’ve always been proud of this blog and seeing that post gave me mixed feelings about it for the first time, so thank you for your message!

Again, I think this discussion has many layers and I’m a bit wary to get involved being a humble reader, but I’d be curious to see how others feel about it…

[howlingday]

Love Signs

Sun: So, I'll see you later, right?

Blake: (Nods) See you.

Sun: (Walks out)

Ruby: (Gasps) UH OH~!

Blake: What?

Ruby: Somebody's in looove~!

Blake: Don't be ridiculous. Sun and I are just friends.

Ruby: Are you sure?

Blake: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: (Laying on the couch) Uuuuuuuugh... This has been the worst day of my life...

Sun: (Walks in) Hey, Blake~!

Blake: (Smiles) Hey, Sun.

--------------------------------------------------

Yang: Ready to roll, Blake?

Blake: (Scroll buzzes) One sec... (Checks)

Sun: (Via scroll) LOL he does look like a banana

Blake: (Smiles) Okay, let's go.

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: ...You didn't drink the tea?

Sun: Nah... Banana tea was not a good idea. Dunno why I thought it'd be the one good thing that's banana-flavored that'd be good, but here we are.

Blake: You like bananas, but don't like banana flavors?

Sun: Yeah, yeah, I know it's weird.

Blake: I never said that. I just didn't know that about you. Is there a reason?

Sun: Well...

Blake: (Listens intently)

--------------------------------------------------

Sun: Whoa...

Blake: Yeah...

Sun: I didn't know they put you through that. Uh, you... You okay?

Blake: Yes, I am now. (Leans into him) Thank you for listening. I've never told this to anyone before, so I wasn't sure how you'd react.

Sun: Hey, it's me! I'm used to just about anything, so if you need someone to listen to you, just let me know!

Blake: Thank you.

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: I mean, you talk about him all the time.

Blake: N-No, I don't.

Weiss: Yes, you do. In fact, after your second date together, every time we tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, you kept gushing about that ruffian!

Yang: Ice Queen was about to shove a washcloth in your mouth to shut you up!

Blake: (Blushing) O-Oh...

--------------------------------------------------

Sun: (Reading)

Blake: (Reading, Looks to Sun)

Sun: (Looks to Blake, Smiles)

Blake: (Smiles) You hungry?

Sun: I could eat. (Closes book) You?

Blake: Same. This next part is going to take some energy to get through.

Sun: You could always skip it.

Blake: And miss something important?

Sun: Hey, if it's so important, they wouldn't make the part boring, right?

Blake: (Giggles) Maybe...

Sun: ...

Blake: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: You should let your team know.

Sun: Ah, they're used to it-

Blake: Sun.

Sun: ...

Blake: ...

Sun: ...Okay, fine, I'll go ahead and let Neptune know. (Taps scroll) We're partners, after all.

Blake: (Raises brow) Then maybe you should act like it.

Sun: Oh, I'm sure they're fine- Oh, crap.

Blake: What?

Sun: Shoot, Neptune's asking for some help. Rain check?

Blake: I'll come with. Make sure everything is okay.

Sun: Sounds like a plan! Oh, and thanks for having my back.

Blake: Anytime, Sun.

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: And how is he compared to your last boyfriend?

Blake: (Shudders) There's no comparison. With A- I mean, my last boyfriend, everything was a minefield. Where we ate, what we did, everything we talked about. With Sun, everything is so much easier.

Ruby: Yeah, because you're in love.

Blake: WE ARE NOT-

--------------------------------------------------

Sun: And, uh, yeah... That was the last time I saw my cousin.

Blake: That sounds like it was hard for you.

Sun: Eh. I'm used to it. Besides, I'm pretty sure she understands.

Blake: I thought the same way, too, when I left my parents. (Puts hand on shoulder) And I think I still feel that way.

Sun: ...Thanks, Blake. (Smiles)

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: (Smiles at the beautiful day after rain)

Blake: (Sees yellow monkey towel)

Blake: (Notices light shining through clouds)

Blake: (Picks up banana during lunch)

Blake: ...Today is a good day.

--------------------------------------------------

Sun: So... What's this movie about?

Blake: It's about a fisherman who falls in love with a mermaid.

Sun: Huh! Sounds fun!

Blake: I've already seen it.

Sun: Then why are you watching it with me?

Blake: I thought it would be something we'd both enjoy.

Sun: Oh...

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: Hm... We should take the high road, through the trees.

Weiss: What? Why?

Sun: (Memory) Because the less we're seen, the more we see~!.

Blake: (In sync) Because the less we're seen, the more we see.

Weiss: ...You've been hanging around that scoundrel Wukong way too much.

--------------------------------------------------

Sun: Hey, Blake, wanna try out this-

--------------------------------------------------

Blake: ALRIGHT, I GET IT! (Huffs) So... What should I do?

Ruby: You need to let him know, get down on one knee, and-

Weiss: NO.

Ruby: Huh?!

Weiss: You don't need some big, extravagant showing to prove your feelings.

Ruby: B-But...

Weiss: Just accept that you're in love with him and accept the person you're becoming because of it.

Blake: The person I'm becoming?

Weiss: Think about who you were when you first met Sun, now think about who you are now that you're with him. Do you like the old you or the new you more?

Blake: I... I like who I am more than who I was.

Weiss: Then be that person. Be that person and be happy about the love you have for Sun. Just stop talking about him so much.

Yang: Aw~! Is Weiss Cream jealous~?

Weiss: I-I am not!

Ruby/Yang: AAAW~!

Weiss: SHUT UP~!

Blake: (Thinking about Sun, Smiling)

[blu3-ja3]

Did I give O'Connor a phobia that I have... Yes do I care, no! Having perfect characters is so boring! I'm currently cleaning out my drafts I promise I'll start writing my story soon!

O'Connor has never liked riding in cars, very specifically cars. She can handle being on a boat going at top speed, she can handle being in a helicopter making evasion maneuvers, hell shes loved the few times she's driven a motorcycle or ATV. But for whatever reason she hates being in cars, a small part of her knows it is trauma from being in the car crash that killed her mother and crippled her father. But even before the accident she hated being in those vehicles.

Price learned early on into his deployment with Sergeant O'Connor not to put her behind the wheel or near the front. He sees how she clams up, trying her best not to shake like a leaf. She'll never admit it nor argue against driving when told too. Hell there's been a few times where her twitchiness behind the wheel has saved his and his team's asses. That doesn't mean he won't do his damnedest to keep her in the back away from the windows.

Ghost notices his new Captain is a bit nervous, it radiates off her in waves. She was fine up until they had to get into the dingy little pickup, he noticed her hesitation to drive like a deer ready to run at the faintest sound. She only calmed a little when Ghost got into the driver's seat, but her leg is bouncing so hard she might punch a hole through the rusty bottom of the truck. And when he asked if something was wrong, she was short and clipped. The polar opposite of how she interacted with him this entire mission, it's their first time on the field together. It's just them and yet she's never once steamed rolled over him like all his other captains have... Wel not Price but everyone else. No instead she asked for his opinion on every major decision and she actually listens to his suggestions adding to them or just going with them. He's worried but it soon disappears as they reach their stop, he watches her basically bolt out of the truck as soon as it stops. And only then does it dawn on him why the sudden change and he relaxes again.

Gaz is an excellent driver, he knows this, it's a point of pride for him. So he's a bit miffed when he notices the doctor gripping the oh-shit handle for dear life as he speeds through snowy hills of middle of nowhere Canada. He's used to seeing people smiling and enjoying themselves when he drives like this. There's no danger chasing after to warrant this kind of stress from O'Connor but it's there. He slows a bit much to the disappointment of himself and Roach who sat in the back. He watches as O'Connor calms a bit from the corner of his eye and he feels a little hurt. It isn't until he watches her when someone else is driving does it click, it's not just him... Though his speed didn't seem to help.

Roach finds it very odd that at every chance she gets O'Connor sits in the back seats, even though she would be far more comfortable in the front. It baffles him every time she gives the seat to someone else including himself but he's never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. It isn't until Soap and Gaz spell it out to him does he notice the panic she holds in her body even in the back seats. He takes it upon himself to distract the doctor while in transit. He's had varying degrees of success but he's noticed a pattern. When O'Connor can't see the road she's calmer, prefers to not have a window to see outside. He does his best to help her on the more stressful drives, it's only fair she's helped him with a million of his own fears.

Soap is a smart man, he's also observant, despite what people think. So he picks up on O'Connor's tension when she's riding with himself, Ghost, Alejandro, and Rudy through Las Almas. At first he thought it was due to being in a car full of men but he quickly wrote that off as soon as they met the rest of Alejandro's team. Her tension was slow to creep in when they're driving and it's only when they're in the cars. He thought it was interesting how well she handled everything else but as soon as they started driving it was tension. He also knows she calms a bit when they speak gaelic, much to the chagrin of their traveling companions. But if it helped his friend calm down then he'll deal with the confused stares.

The boys all agree behind O'Connor's back that if given the option they won't drive, if they have to she gets the middle seat and either Roach or Soap are to sit next to her. Price feels a bit of fatherly pride when they bring it up to him, knowing they're willing to help O'Connor the best they can without being told outright to do so.

[aprillikesthings]

So I took a little bigger bite of gummy than usual and THEN Daci insisted we watch like a half hour of tiktoks together that they'd saved (lol 90% of them were Arcane jokes, including King Princess repeatedly being a troll) so by the time I got in the shower I was already feeling it. So if my typing or sentences get weird or bad you know why

This is one of those episodes I've literally only watched twice tbh

oh hey it's my tumblr background (on desktop)

I forget why they were sleeping outside lol it doesn't matter

But Glimmer's right the person who snores loudest is always the one to fall asleep first

okay so when Adora first sees the sword and tells Catra she's like "are you brain damaged???" Adora tells Glimmer "I thought I saw something" and Glimmer's like "pssht whatever" can people stop dismissing Adora seeing shit lol (edit: foreshadowing. right.)

oh right Im watching this for Castaspella in my 60's fic lol

"I've never relaxed in my life" lol we know

I know she's not the focus of this episode I'm just happy to see her heyyyy bb

(also has anyone watched bits of this show so many times they can pick out the styles of specific storyboarders/animators? not that I know their names, but like "whomever did this scene did this other scene." anyway whomever did a few random bits of this episode worked on parts of Moment of Truth)

ALSO ahahah I caught the moment she reacts to Adora's name

...I need to learn how to edit vids, I still want to make one of every time one of them reacts to the other's name/voice, bc once you notice that they do it every time, you can't UNnotice

Catra: ugggh another Adora mission, fine, when do I leave? (like girl you are acting so reluctant but ahahah)

Shadow Weaver: Nope, I'm gonna do it myself. Clearly, no one else can be trusted to bring her back to the Horde, least of all you!

Man SW realllllly loves to rub into Catra's face that her attempts at getting Adora back haven't worked, that's gotta sting

SW's voice actor was so good

SW: creates a terrifying monster

Catra:

is terrified

writing her as a hippie/shop owner who is also a bit new-agey and ALSO, a wine aunt, is gonna be so funny and fun okay

"Oh, Light Spinner, she's just a scary tale for children" I mean....she does...scare children...

Adora has ADHD. Also Aimee had fun recording this I bet lol

Bow: sounds like this Shadow Weaver really did a number on you growing up

Anyone else reminded of the first time they told a story from their childhood and the other person reacted with horror? anyway

lol I remembered that SW pretended to be other people and taunted Adora in Catra's voice but I didn't remember when so I still fucking JUMPED when she did the "Hey, Adora"

TBH this episode's plot is half "so SW is an abusive piece of shit, and Adora and her friends are starting to realize this"

Gahhh the bit of SW talking with Catra's voice and saying "SW controls us both, she always has" is so fucking creepy. Bc she's acknowledging she's, well, controlling.

oh hey did you know that Hordak's voice actor also did Kino (Mel's brother) in Arcane

SW pretending to be Glimmer and Bow and being a huge asshole to Adora is hard to watch ahhh

The only thing worse is watching her do the extremely typical abuser speech, but ...the kind a partner usually gives, not a parent! "they don't understand you, only I do, your friends don't really like you, they're just using you, you can only trust me"

gyahhhhh

y'know....I just realized. She knew Catra and Adora were close. She blames Catra to some extent for Adora leaving. She has Catra try to get her back multiple times and fail.

Which means at this point she thinks their friendship was entirely one-sided. Like, she could've used Catra's voice to beg her to come home, and she didn't.

I hope for every abused kid to have this moment

"this is what SW does. She manipulates people, she pushes them apart." yeah

lol I couldn't get one where she wasn't making a weird face bc she's talking but eheheh

"If you want to take down Adora, you have to go for the heart." She's looking at Bow through that spying bowl but....CATRA. she misses YOU. she cares about them but she also cares about you :(

also THE HEART YOU SAY???? (was this intentional foreshadowing)

the next episode is Princess Prom, but I'm not watching that one tonight

As it is. I know social media is a minefield atm. Anyone who started watching the last three eps of Arcane the moment it dropped is done.

What's funny is that I intentionally spoiled myself for the last season of She-Ra because I knew I wouldn't be able to watch it for a few DAYS

but Arcane we're watching tomorrow, and I want to know SO BAD whether or not they fuck, but I want to find out when Daci does, via watching it!!!

So don't tell me anything.

Can’t wait to engage in one of my fave midnight hobbies: get high as balls and rewatch bits of She-Ra and sometimes post screenshots with overemotional/horny captions

[coquelicoq]

i ate a cupcake recently without first spending five minutes talking about how logistically stressful it is to eat a cupcake, so. i am capable of growth

[aromanticannibal]

it's honestly so hard to explain that you care for someone you like without using the words love

[ifindus]

✨"Meet the Artist" ✨

Name: Findus Age: 26 (29.03) Zodiac: Aries Nationality: Norwegian Orientation: Bi/Asexual Gender: Non-Binary (they/them) Education: Masters degree in Archaeology

[flower-khajiit]

I'm well into my second playthrough of Veilguard (with the Mourn Watch bacground) and I'm having so much fun. I love how much Mourn Watcher-specific dialogue you get with Emmrich and how geeky you can be about necromancy.

I also played through the intro as a two-handed warrior Warden, and had a blast. Normally two-handed warriors feel too sluggish for me, but here I just felt very powerful.

[mechazushi]

So, I've got this KafHoshi fic I'm working on and it's starting to turn into a, like, 5 + 1 scenarios kinda fic in the vaguest sense of the situation. Which means I need to come up with senarios about Hoshina falling head over heels for Kafka and I listened to Super Massive Black Hole by Muse, immediately followed by Landmines by Sum 41 and all I could think about for a day was a situation where Kafka had a "Homer learns the bass" moment in his teens and his mom or cousin or something was cleaning out an old storage container and sent him his old bass guitar.

Not to overindulge, but basically my mind wouldn't let go of the image of Kafka singing SMBH, but in his Kaiju voice, which then morphed into Iharu begging on hands and knees asking if Kafka could learn the bass line to Landmines and be the bass to his lead guitar and play the song on his birthday in front of the Third Division with him.

And THEN my brain was like....

"Ok, but a Saturday morning cartoon about A rock band getting mystical guitars that transform them into humanoid Kaijus with super powers so now they fight crime just because and they have to keep the identity a secret from the police and Dollar Store Iharu leads the team and in the first episode show starts off with the band needing a new bass player so they start tryouts and a Kafka-like character shows up and the whole team isn't impressed with him until he starts playing an absolute sick riff and they let him join and DS Iharu's dad is the band's manager and he's a shit dad but he knows about he Kaiju Guitars/private hero identity thing (Cuz' he's the one networking the media to help keep it a secret) and there's a side plot about Kafka the Bass player becoming DS Iharu'd Better Dad and Reno's there too, but he's the "No enthusiasm" Guitar seller that sold them their mystic guitars and he had no idea about what the guitars do and the team rope him in once he and the rest find out KnockOff Reno had been chosen to help the people that became bestowed with the Kaiju Guitars and now KnockOff Reno is the team's Guy-In-The-Chair and HE gets his OWN character arc and him and Dollar Store Iharu start to fall in love and then you find out that Kafka had a secret love child that he didn't know about and then spend a season off screen fighting for custody and I've given this way too much thought already but doesn't it sound REALLY COOL because I could see it becoming one of those cult classic shows that were only made to sell toys, but it became one of the few that managed to transcend beyond that..."

It's never going to happen. but I do agree with myself.

[sharkjumpers]

It's so awkward on the chronically disabled end when you go back into a setting like a classroom and your professor's like "glad to see you're better!" I know they mean well and it's a kind thing to say and i always say thank you in turn, and I take no issue with them, it's just like... I'm not. I'm not feeling better or doing particularly good. I just have no other choice but to go out and force myself to function after a certain point because of the way society works. I wish the natural reaction sometimes was "are you feeling any better?" and I wish that it were acceptable to respond and go No. Not really. without making it really weird and without the knowledge that a lot of people just won't believe you. I wonder how many people in the day-to-day lives of disabled people actually grasp the chronic aspects of a disability. I can't think of a day in years where I haven't been in pain in some degree, and I don't mention it everyday because it's just a part of my life. I'm never going to feel all the way better—and maybe I'm being nitpicky with language, but I feel as if I've earned that—and if I were to point that out the mood would go down, or I'd be reassured, or something, and it's like... hmm. I don't say it with great despair or anything, or to be down on myself, it's just a fact of life. I think more able-bodied people should be able to accept statements like "I won't ever get better all the way" without their initial reactions be jumping to assure you or "that's horrible!" (Thanks?) or that you aren't "believing" in yourself. Acknowledging the facts of something isn't inherently a miserable thing, and it doesn't mean I'm complaining or need you to lift me up. I think it'd make my life and a lot of my friends' and family members' lives much easier if people around us understood there's not always a "glad you're feeling better" moment.

[fadeintoyou1993]

got to a point in my day to day life where i feel like if i lower all my expectations for everything ever and cut every single hopeful thought i can come up with that will With No Doubt become a whole Thing that turns into Anxiety and Regret and Desperation and finally Shame for Hoping (like. "good things could happen sure. whatever. if they don't it's not like i was expecting anything anyway lol") things would be easier for me. and it's like really sad and depressing to think that and i haven't stopped shaking today and i feel this intense need to start crying but i'm also just like lol whatever!! you know :)