#i think i'd be happier if i let the fanfic go and just draw my ocs and my redesigns when i feel like it

[wereh0gz]

Not feeling great abt some of my creative endeavors rn

[nobodysdaydreams]

okay I’ve been wanting to ask you stuff for ur…ask game things but I genuinely cannot find the post to know what to ask. does that make sense?

So uh *slams random emojis and numbers on the counter* whatever these will get me.

32??? 1? 12….52?

🐢🧍‍♂️❤️‍🩹💕🤲🤩

I have to at least get one of those right…hopefully.

((also side note I’ve been meaning to say I like ur new username! very nice 👍))

Ember, I tried my very best to find old ask games I reblogged with these emojis, sadly I could not. I found this one for the numbers. I already answered 1 and 32 here. I answer 12 and 52 below and have a few other fun treats for you.

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support help you? Feedback helps me so much. It lets me know that my writing is good and that I’m doing something right. Originally, fanfic was just supposed to be me getting my brain bees™️ out of my head so I could focus. I didn’t expect people to actually enjoy them to such a degree. I mean, I figured someone else who liked TMBS might like them a little, but I did not expect such incredible feedback.

I got a tumblr in September of last year to release my thoughts on TMBS, including my SOS fan theory, but I never intended to write any fic about it, because it was a super specific head canon (and also I'd never even read fanfic before at that point, though I'd heard of the concept), I wasn't sure people would like it, I'd never done any serious creative writing before, and at the time, I had no idea how much season 2 canon would continue to support it's plausibility. But, for better or for worse, eventually I was inspired enough to write the fic. And if you told me in January of this year, before SOS was published, when it was just a little idea in my head that I’d have people drawing fan art based on my fics, doing elaborate analyses call out posts based on my fics (thank you @sophieswundergarten and @itsgoghtime🥰), making a whole personality quiz based on my fic (again thank you Sophie), getting a tumblr to compliment my on my fic and share headcanons, and, the latest of the fandom's beautiful compliments, someone doing a whole podcast episode based on one of my fics (thanks @heyitsthatonesmolgay), I would not have believed you.

This feedback means the world to me, and it's also taught me the importance of leaving feedback on other fics as well. Part of the rational in writing SOS was releasing the thoughts that are inside my head about my hyperfixation, since I'd be thinking about it constantly anyway. Writing it out is certainly more rewarded than daydreaming alone, but it's also more time consuming. Knowing that someone out there is not only listening to what I'm saying, but enjoying it to such a degree lets me know that this is a hobby that's worth the time and energy. Obviously, it's fine to do hobbies only for yourself, I did that for years, but being able to do something you enjoy in such a way that it makes someone else happier and brings joy to someone's life is incredibly rewarding. And if I didn't receive any feedback, I would assume no one was listening. I'd release my ideas into the void to get the brain bees out, and then when the hyperfixation died, I'd just delete them. But now I know that I'm not just talking to the void anymore, I'm talking to a group of people that are invested in the stories I have to share. Feedback on fics lets authors know that they're good at writing, because they might not know it. I certainly never thought so. Sure, I thought my ideas were cool, but has everyone else I've ranted to about mbs irl thought that? Not exactly. So leave feedback on your favorite fics, go crazy about them. Don't burn yourself out, obviously, but trust me, it will not go unappreciated, especially in a smaller fandom.

52. Do you respond to comments why or why not?

I always try to respond with something. They make me so happy; someone took the time out of their day to say they liked my fic, my ideas, and comment or ask questions about them! It’s a great honor, and thank you all for your lovely comments and feedback!

Finally, the emojis you sent didn't correspond to an ask game, however, I do have one little treat I think you'll like.

As you may be aware, I am writing a secret fan fic for Curio's secret fic gift exchange. I can't promise the fic is at the level of my usual work (as you may have suspected from my lack of SOS updates, I've been quite busy), but I shall try my best. However, what I can promise you is that A) more SOS is coming, and B) regardless of who my gift fic is for, it will include a brief reference or mention of the book "The Little Prince", which I know you are a big fan of. Unfortunately, I can't give any more context beyond that.

Oh, and thank you! I'm glad you like the new username!

[quaranmine]

🍉

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

very interesting question! i feel like i don't go into writing fanfic with the idea of "i'm going to use this to process things from my real life" and then it just bonks me over the head anyway. like writing is a process where you just cut yourself open and bleed all over the page, and half the time i don't even really realize what i'm doing

i write about a lot of things indirectly. there's pieces of things hidden everywhere. i don't necessarily share the same traumas and experiences of the characters i write about but it's like, oh, if you hold it to the light at this specific angle, you'll see what i poured into it. not all my fics are like this, some are just ideas i had, but i'm a pretty introspective person who puts a lot of thought into things so a lot of my fics are like this

i have this one watcher!grian wip that's pretty self-indulgent. i hope that i'll post it one day, even if it's just a tiny piece, but it's one of those fics that just got away from me a little even though i love the writing i've done for it. anyway in the fic there's some very specific things that grian struggles with and it took looking at it THREE MONTHS LATER for me to suddenly realize that it was just a repackaged fantasy version of my main personal identity/social crisis i was going through then 😭 it was actually really funny to me i was like WOW i literally didnt even know what i was actually writing about when i made this but it was On My Mind i guess

there's also occasional references to my experiences with chronic illness/autoimmune disease in my fics. i've fortunately been in remission for several years now, so my current chronic illness experience is mostly just "abled adult without any symptoms or pain who is just permanently on medication and slightly immunocompromised." it affects my day to day life very little right now fortunately but the years when i was super sick were some of the worst of my life and are like. VERY core memories of my teenage years. anyway, there's a specific bit of HTBAHB where i draw on that some--specifically, grian's very mixed feelings about being a watcher and if he'd change it or not. with my autoimmune disease, if you gave me an opportunity to take it away or cure it i would accept in a heartbeat. but if you let me go back in time and prevent myself from ever having it? idk if i'd accept. as painful and traumatic as it was, it also very much shaped me how i am today, and the idea of extricating myself from that is strange. maybe the me of the past would have been happier, but she'd be a totally different person. anyway! other people probably have a different take on their traumas and experiences depending on what it was and its affects, so that was a very personal perspective there. additionally i have also incorporated some of this autoimmune disease experience into my listener!jimmy headcanons, but i haven't been able to complete and publish my wip that is About That

firewatch au is also just. extremely this. i'm very sorry but it's gonna be pretty devastatingly sad throughout and y'all just gotta let me have this because somewhere along the way it went from "interesting fun idea i had last year" into "something i Need to write" lsjdflsjfslf. i haven't grieved or lost anyone in the extreme way that grian has, but i think there's just. so many types of loss and grief in the world. lost friends and family (via death or otherwise), lost relationships with people you used to care about so much (and still might care about), lost opportunities and lost chances to have lived a different life or made different choices, the collective loss of living through the pandemic, the persistent environmental and climate grief that stalks my entire chosen career. there will be things that pop up in this story that are referenced from my real life, and things that pop up in the story that align with my own fears/anxieties.

anyway this is why writing is the most terrifying hobby ever i am like really out here every day doing this and then publishing it for strangers on the internet to read and hoping they don't read me too hard

fic writer asks

[lexer-says-stuff]

1. My nickname is Jade online, my name irl is much different

2. Between 0 and 100 (hint: I'm not over 70)

3. 156 or 157 (I forgot)

4. 9:37 pm

5. English and Bahasa Indonesia are languages I can speak decently, and I know a few words and phrases in Japanese, Korean, French, Spanish, and Dutch

6. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

7. Singing, dancing, drawing, eating, listening to music, and dying inside

8. Minho

9. Minsung

10. Dwaekki (Ik it's not very original)

11. 2min, I can't really choose between them

12. Miroh

13. Tik Tok

14. Pavlova; It looks soft and fluffy at first, but once you bite it, it's all dry and hard

15. I can't choose lmao

16. Hyung line: Minho, maknae line: Hyunjin, Jisung

17. Iced lemon tea

18. Rose; beautiful and dangerous at the same time

19. Sentimental

20. Chamomile tea; calming and makes me feel happier

21. Night, because he can do everything but sleep

22. No

23. All of them, but Jeongin if I had to choose one

24. Pink; I usually associate pink with cuteness and wholesomeness

25. I listen to BTS, TXT, Enhypen, BLACKPINK, Twice, Mamamoo, Secret Number, plus many other groups. I also listen to video game songs (fanmade and OSTs), songs that are in The Music Freaks, J-pop, musical sound tracks, western pop music, and, on very rare occasions, pop music from my home country, Indonesia.

26. Why just one? Let's have both!

27. Brussel sprouts. And toxicity. And being labeled "the smart kid".

28. Ferret, because SKZOO

29. Yes

30. Homework, and yes it's been in my head non-stop (hehe Hamilton reference go brrr)

31. Playing Minecraft; that's something he would 100% do

32. Love; I love him so much and he has a YT channel now and he posts a lot of content there and his voice is just so soothing.

33. Neither, I only drink ~Sprite~

34. Probably A Wrinkle in Time or Tuck Everlasting

35. Just like in vocal line, I can't decide lmao

36. I didn't buy Mixtape bc I'm broke af :')

37. No and I'm too scared to get any

38. Cereal, if you put milk first don't question me if I look at you weirdly

39. I'd have to say Minho. His dancing is really fluid, and I just love the way he moves. Idk I'm not a professional.

40. The Amazing World of Gumball

41. Yes, I have a cat named Johnny Suh, but we all just call him Johnny

42. Hyung line, they need more appreciation imo so Imma show them my luv <3

43. Break the Silence; it was really touching for me, and I love how they showed their goofy side on it hehe

44. Felix, Jisung, and Jeongin; I just wanna play Minecraft with them lmao

45. Magic Shop, a Minsung fanfic by shinsoskittycst on Wattpad based off of the trailer by skzshii on YT, and also I Want You Back, a Yeonbin fanfic by lil_rachaaaaa, also on Wattpad

46. Depends on the content

47. Indonesia

48. Wait I thought we did this already- I think they're all cute, but if I had to choose one, I'd say Jeongin

49. I love Jisung's heart smile best :3, and I really like Minho's laugh in a way I can't really describe lmao

50. Chan: Chris (he has the same name as my dad lmao), Minho: Minnie, Lino, lEe KnOw (I usually use it ironically), Changbin: Beanie, Hyunjin: Drama Llama, Jisung: Squirrel or Quokka, Felix: Lixie (and sometimes Yongbok lmao), Seungmin: Idk I don't really have a nickname for him, Jeongin: Innie

That's all! And I don't really have any friends here so I can't tag anyone :')

Stray Kids tag/ask game!

Hi! Answer these 50 question (or don’t if you don’t want to)and then tag somebody if you want. Let’s find out a few things about Stray Kids fans! And maybe let’s find new friends. So, start: 1. Your nick (and name if it’s ok to you) 2. Your age 3. Your height 4. Time right now 5. Languages you know 6. Your favourite word 7. Your hobbies 8. Your bias in Stray Kids 9. Your OTP in SKI 10. Use one word to describe Changbin 11. With one of SKI members has murder tendencies? 12. Your favourite Stray Kids’ song 13. Your favourite 3RACHA’s song 14. Use food to describe Minho 15. In vocal line – whose voice is your favourite 16. Hyung line – pick up one of them, maknea line - pick 2 17. Your favourite drink 18. Use flower to describe Seungmin 19. Trot vs. Sentimental 20. Use tea to describe Jisung 21. Use time of a day to describe Chan 22. Do you wear glasses 23. Who is the cutest in SKI 24. Use colour to describe Jeongin 25. What do you listen to besides Stray Kids and 3RACHA 26. Stray Kids’ songs or 3RACHA’s songs? 27. What do you hate? 28. Use animal to describe Hyunjin 29. Is there something that you should be doing right now? 30. If you answered yes: what is it? And did you hear in your head Chan’s “Like, mate, stop procrastinating”? 31. Use activity to describe Felix 32. Use a thing to describe Woojin 33. Coca-cola or Pepsi 34. Favourite book 35. In rap line – whose voice is your favourite 36. If you bought Mixtape, whose card did you get? Are you happy with them? 37. Do you have any piercing or tattoos? 38. Cereals or milk first? 39. In dance line – whose moves do you like the most 40. Your favourite TV series? 41. Do you have a pet? 42. Hyung line or maknea line. Choose one. 43. Favourite movie 44. If you could spend a day with 3 SKI members (but not your bias!) who would you choose? 45. Your favourite fanfiction 46. Do you like spoilers? 47. Which country do you live? 48. The cutest person in Stray Kids. 49. Whose smile do you like best? And whose laugh? 50. Do you have any nicknames for SKI members? EXTRA. Is there anything you want to say to the person who tagged you? :D I don’t know any SKI stans here, so I will tag kind of random people. I hope it’s ok for you to be tagged by me. Also feel free to do this even if I didn’t tag you, I’ll be happy if you do it. Like, really happy mate. @minnoah22 @felixxtrash  @musicalval @incorrect-straykids @lindzaylove @straykidsimnida @chang-bean @bundlelovers