#i think i started drawing a liiittle more in 2018-2020

[iwaasfairy]

Fae fae when did you learn to draw digital? Like do you have any tips I’ve been practicing but honestly it’s so hard haha

I remember sometime early 2021 I think you did a lot of haikyuu art and it was amazingggg wow

-🪐 anon

fAE FAE pLS dgusgfus I LOVE THAT??? heLP but uhmm honestly i think the main reason why my art looks better now is because i've been practicing my basics a lot? and like, its a constant battle to get better and hate your old art yk,, but i'm glad i did it and i can't wait to see how much i'll improve in the future! BUT! as for practicing tips, i would recommend splitting up exactly what you want to tackle first.

digital drawing is a very different skill than sketching. coloring is a very different skill. backgrounds are a skill in itself. drawing bodies,, etc etc etc,, and it was really frustrating to draw sometimes bc it feels like they all go hand in hand? but splitting them up and practicing solely on that- can really help make it feel more doable yk

also drawing on paper is v helpful to me personally. get urself a practice sketchbook, even tho they are two separate skills they kinda are tied together. if you improve one it will also show in the other

and yEA i did do some art in 2021 that i was really proud of. but i do gotta say looking back, those arts took me like 72 hours and so much references that it always felt extremely overwhelming and scary to draw. i like them a lot still, but i dont remember finding it very fun to draw back in 2021

and sometimes it's embarrassing for me to look back at old art and not shudder in shame, but the fact is,, that i was happy with my drawings back when i made them. he reason i'm not happy with them anymore is bc i've practiced, and become better, yk? for fuck sake, atsuko used to look like this (left) and now he looks like that (right)

be a little kind to yourself. it's hard to admit that you can be good at and suck at something at the same time. your improvement will be directly linked to how often you can stomach to be bad at something tbh hahahah i stopped coloring the way i used to in 2021 because i loved doing it but i actually sucked at it. and im still in the middle of practicing coloring, and most of what i draw is ugly and i hate it,, but thats okay. i hopefully will find value in it once i start noticing some improvement

anyway sorry for the ramble the point is, find your weak points and target them. and then, practice. practice practice practice. dont believe these tiktok artists who say "oh i started drawing in 2021" and bust out the most amazing portraits in the history of ever. that isn't the reality for most people;

[nyrator]

My art from 2010-2019, a favorite piece from every year. Just realized, it’s every year of my adult life so far, ages 18-28, huh. Was going to wait until New Years to post it, but hey, might as well post it now~

Looking back at my old art is both nice and painful. Lots of pieces I still really like, and a bunch that just leave me with blehs. Also lots of vanity drawings, like a looooot, think it was basically what lead to RN being made so I can distance myself a liiittle bit vanity-wise. Also, a lot of attempts at trying to vent about some complex I have in different ways, all of it is terrible art that I never like to think about but make way too much of and worry too much about.

Now for lots of more ramblings

Got my art tablet for my 19th birthday in 2010, now that I think about it- drew that freaking blanket with a mouse, huh. Haven’t really done much in analog drawing since leaving school, actually.

My favorite picture will continue to be that you&me one from 2013, after that felt like some kind of turning point where I lost interest in art compared to how I used to feel about it. I feel like Shadow of Doubt from 2018 is close to replacing it as favorite, but the Childare one just... nostalgic or something at this point. 2014 feels so close in time- it’s when I started doing console-tan art, when I met Kresna, a game boy dev interested in console-tans at the time. Funny how life works like that. The past few years are just a blur, but he’s made them good.

I miss passionately and obsessively focusing over minor details like in that Epicene picture from 2011. I think about my old projects like Epicene. I like the concept still, but mann was it heavy-handed and dumb. “Oh hey focus on making the world epicene and androgynous! Make a soapbox for all my feeling-based ideals and add some edginess to it as well!” and then basically the internet happened and left a bad taste in my mouth (too many fractions and building walls rather than tearing them down, but I’m just rambling now)

all the old projects I had over the years: you&me (still cling to the hope of finishing it someday), Anecdotes of a Happy Place, those spiral brothers, Epicene, Sleepover!, Kirkos, Skatered, Ploom, Gekitan (or whatever I call console-tans anymore), Rotten Nyan...

I should talk about the cancelled ones in detailed sometime, maybe, if I still remember.

that 2012 art reminds me of how I really just liked experimenting back then and absorbing other people’s techniques, that’s something I’ve stopped doing lately too.

I feel that with Rotten Nyan, this past year or two, I’ve finally settled on something resembling a consistent style, so that’s neat I think. Backgrounds and body language have hit an all time low, though, as have shading and stuff. Should be more outgoing again, perhaps. It really feels like my art’s stagnated to me, like, have I really improved at all over the years, y’know? The only thing it feels like is that I’ve gotten more comfortable being lazier and sloppier, I guess.

The second half of 2019 has not been good to me. I still haven’t recovered art-wise. I want some passion to make things again, but my brainstorming and ideas feel all dried up at this point. Anxiety also brewed this year, to the point where I can’t enjoy movies anymore without feeling like my blood is frozen and out of sync, and it’s very hard to think of ideas without feeling chest discomfort and pain, so I’ve been shying away from being creative lately. We shall see how 2020 treats me.

Mannn.

2010- Graduated high school, worked as a camp counselor, went to college, father died, started You May/you&me

2011- Broken down, dropped out of college, a best friend dies, absorb a lot of college debt and house dept from my late father, beginning of NEET life, got a tumblr

2012- NEET life continues, friendships vanish, decide to suicide if still NEET by 21, get job interview on 21st birthday, Walmart suffering begins

2013- First cat Oreo dies, quit Walmart in response, depressed NEET life continues, become “nyrator”

2014- built new computer with last of savings, depressed NEET life continues to continue, got Blacky the floof, start drawing console-tans, find a community online that also enjoys them, met future boyfriend

2015- get job at flower shop, fall out of console community (still made some good friends), future boyfriend disappears thanks to also falling out from said community previously, mother breaks her neck and basically forces me into relying only on myself

2016- things start to blur but build strong friendships with future boyfriend after mutual friend reunites us, also bought a car

2017- yeah no still a blur but joined YN DDJ discord which is pretty sweet, also still have super cool best friend/future boyfriend

2018- DDD is still pretty sweet, also met future boyfriend in person for first time and started dating, now he’s potentially future husband, started Rotten Nyan

2019- more RN but more hardcore depression again, two cats died, lost house, got apartment and driver’s license, went to Canada, and travelled around with Kresna a nice amount, bunch of crazy bad stuff the past few months like car accidents and stuff but hey

missed huge chunks of stuff but hey sue me

probably a bunch of sister drama in-between there but she’s still in jail at the moment so best not to think about her

on a completely random note, mannn, it’s been years since I’ve last fenced. I miss fencing. Casual French dry foil for life, baby.