#i think i regressed back into my social anxiety by at least 60% literally just. by thinking myself into a hole
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i slept all day n all night n partially through the day again w only 1 interval and im still so tired im so exhausted my whole body is tense n sore
#horrors beat my ass so deeply i still feel off#i think i regressed back into my social anxiety by at least 60% literally just. by thinking myself into a hole#a very deep jagged hole#i was so alone n invisible i went right back#trying to respond to messages and im just sitting here again. i cant think. all i feel is the humiliation#i wonder if i jinxed myself by thinking about how much i had changed these past few months the other day#its weird because i was so . surprised in a good way 2 have that realization n then in a couple hours in spiraling fear & loneliness#its like it was all gone and i was right back where i started#and i still feel covered in the dirt from falling back in the hole#my body still hurts#my throat still aches#my mind is still . wrong#i just wish my feelings werent so dramatic#i wish i werent so scared#i wish i werent stuck constantly subconsciously fearfully looking for a sign proving the only good or nice thing i hav is fake#the only problem is me#but i dont know how to fix it#i dont want to be a problem#i dont want to ruin everything
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