#i think i need a proper colour corrector to hide the bags

[roses-and-elixir]

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[riverdaleroundup]

Riverdale Round up: 2x16 “ Primary Colors”

Oh look. It’s me. A day late with this recap. I just did not feel like watching Riverdale last night. It wasn’t an organic experience. I was just too busy crafting because I needed to embrace my inner grandmother. Much apologies.

Alright so Chic isn’t Hals child but honestly Betty is the only one who is shocked by this. Betty is testing Chic left right and centre. She is fitting to get chopped out of that family photo that Chic keeps in his back pocket.

This is the first time we’ve ever seen Hal actually participate in his own business. I’m shook that he can even read. I thought that he just spent all his time shopping for sweaters that don’t fit him right.

I don’t see the evil in building a prison? Like why is that bad? It’s not like the inmates are going to be walking free through town.

Did they really say Bravo or did they say Fravo? If I was as famous as Andy Cohen this is what I would do. I would have been at least three different people on Grey's anatomy and neonatal specialist at least once.

Veronica pretends that she didn’t know about her parents plans but she looks uber guilty 24/7 so like the truth will come out. She and Archie share that panicked look and then Archie has to cover for her. It’s not like Arch is the king of stealth so they should have given it up as a bad job from the beginning.

J’adore that they had to take the label off of Veronicas juice. We all know that's dole. You’re not fooling anyone.

Why is Ethel suddenly blaming Veronica for all of this? She already forgave her for everything a million years ago. Veronica gave her some of her old clothes and they sat together in english and everything so great. So what’s with dumping the milkshake Ethel? Just desperate for attention?

Oh Look Reggie isn’t dead. He’s got some nuts to with that shake. He’s a giver. He wants to be the student body president but like I don’t picture him in an administrative roll.

Veronica went full dark betty with that fist clench. She clocked a bitch. I mean that’s an expellable offense right there. I guess when you’re rich you can get away with anything.

Cheryl is me. Paranoid as hell. Like whats a night spent home alone if you don’t push your dresser in front of your bedroom door?

So are we poisoning Nana rose? I get they want the maple business but like I mean she’s an old gal. Wait a few weeks. See if it happens naturally.

Veronica wants to be Student body president. Why are only 10th graders running for this? I get all the main characters are all lower classmen and blah blah blah yatta yatta but still. Not realistic, and this show is nothing if not realistic.

Veronica was born for politics. She has great hair and she loves lying.  I mean really her hair is only okay.  

Inner circle vixens are having a slumber party. Cheryl knows there's safety in numbers so she’s inviting everyone to spend the night. She’s seen enough horror movies to know that virgins never die and Betty and Veronica are virgouts. They’ll get the axe way before she does.

Archie is not a good friend. He sells jughead down the river every chance the he gets. He just loves Hiram so much. I get it. Mark is charming.

The hair brush train is creepy.  At a real sleepover every girl would have their hair up in a messy bun because it hasn’t been washed in 5 days. Also no one would be lounging in satin robes.

Oh no. Nana rose down. She took a tumble. Or she got pushed. Same thing really. She needs one fo those nice stair lifts. I’ve always wanted one of those. I’m not old. Just lazy.

Molly Ringwald needs a blow out. Her hair is so flat. They have a legal battle on their hands. How convenient that she just happens to be a lawyer. I’m watching Secret life right now so all I can see is Anne Juergens with the pregnant 15 year old.

This whole kiss and a cupcake thing doesn’t seem proper in this political climate. #timesup.

I forgot about the little southside club. Swords and Serpents. Where are the board games. They really should be playing board games. Sweet Pea is still cute.He and Moose need some justice in this show. Where are their leading roles? Jughead is so dramatic fam. Like i’m just waiting for him to climb up on the desk and wave around a flagpole singing “ do you hear the people sing”

Oh Kevin and Chic sitting in a tree. Kevin is such a snitch. Does no one in this town have any loyalty at all? Like they all turn on their best friends at a moments notice. I get Kevin is lonely and Chic is kinda cute in a gaunt way but Betty is supposed to be his best friend.

Betty is competition with Chic for which cooper sibling is the creepiest. Like flickering that lighter under Chics nose in the middle of the night doesn’t exactly scream stable caring sister.

I would love to watch an episode of WWHL with Ramona Singer and Josie. Actually I would rather just have Ramona.

Did they really chain themselves to this school? Are they all going to hold hands and sway and sing we shall not be moved?

Betty and Chic both need to see a counselor. They are both clearly in need of some help. Betty  catches bad men. Clifford blossom, the sugarman, and the black hood can’t come to the phone right now? Why? Because they’re dead.

Wow it’s been a whole episode since there’s been a musical number. Thank god the drought it over.

Since when did Ethel become a bully? She’s coming off as a grade A bitch. Like I thought that Veronica and Ethel were good????? Oh so Josie was in on it.  Ethel also looks like she stepped out of the 1950’s but she’s no pink lady. She’s a Patty Simcox.

Betty drops out as Veronicas running partner because she doesn’t associate with liars.

I can’t have sympathy for Veronica because she has been straight up involved in all this ish.

Hopefully Alice will confiscate that black wig and we will never have to see it again.

Jughead went to south side high for like 11 days but he’s so committed to saving it. He falls fast.

Archie is so far up Mr Lodges ass that it’s kind of sad. Momma Andrews is pissed because Archie is a lil shit and isn’t nice to his Daddy.

So Alice and FP used to get it on but like we all knew that. I think it’s time to re return to that relationship.

Chic is 25? He seems like he’s maybe 19 to me.

So Penelope is confirmed poisoning Nana Rose. She wants that girl out of the way. She’s just a pain in the ass.

Oh heck. Betty is like “ Im going to tell Sheriff Keller you’re a murder” and Chic is like “ You’re going to tell Sheriff keller that you’re a murder”

Hiriam asks Archie and the rest of the wrestling team to go rough up the serpents and Archie is like yeah i’ll betray my best friend that’s fine. I get he wants to protect his dad but he’s just way too wrapped up in the Lodges for his own good.  

Also that little shove he gave Jughead at the end is just a lil too aggressive for my taste.

Jughead has the largest bags under his eyes. He needs some colour corrector.

Jughead and Betty are going to run for co presidents, Oh and Betty is moving in with Jughead. I mean do you maybe want to ask FP about that or???????? It’s not exactly a large trailer. It’s not like he can just hide her under the bed.

Fred is officially running for mayor against the Lodges.  He can’t let those buttons go to waste. He’s a frugal boi. Fred and Mary look like they might try and save their marriage. I don’t know if I was Molly Ringwald around that much so I can’t say if I bless this union or not.

So Cheryl has been committed. Is this like gay conversion therapy? They can’t pray the gay away so they’re going to drug it out of her? Yikes. At least she’s got that cute hairstyle going for her.