#i think i mightve had multiple orgasms???

[millersix]

sex talk in the tags

[dezsa-delitefull]

Is everybody actually designed with a partner in mind?? Random thoughts on work breaks

While everybody is so obsessed with sex... I've accepted I'm just not that into it. Especially as of late. Sex has just NEVER lived up to the hype for me. I mightve only really enjoyed it, in its entirety, for the first time about 4 years ago. Just everything it about. The person: as our connection was something I'd never experienced before with anyone else, it made him different. Therefore the sex was different.

The sex was, well, EXPLOSIVE. The sheer look of his dick was intimidating. Huge, veiny, and dark chocolate. And, I've only really had 4 and 5 inch dicks... it was definitely 2x more than I'd had to take before... but he was so careful. And it was HIM. His hair was in my face, and the smell of his hair intoxicates me...

Well.. moving on... Because my point is... sex rarely touches my soul the way it once used to. And most ppl don't even see sex as the sacred act that it really is. I'm always stuck between "I deserve what I expect" and "maybe I expect to much" because, if I'm going to be engaging in the act it should at least be with someone who's on the same page as me... but at times my eclectic kinda seem like expecting fairy tale star wishes to come true.

Most men approach sex as a "in gonna rock your world" "I'll be the best you ever had" or simply wanting to dominate you or be dominated by you. Sex just seems so shallow now. Like there's just no longer any depth beyond, "I like you enough to fuck you" and of course performance. But for me, literally no matter how good the sex is, I'll be left only partially satisfied for only the brief moments after the act. And after those moments, sex barely feels worth all the energy. Even the orgasm doesn't seem worth it. It just just do for me what it apparently does for everyone else.

When sex isn't your main motivation in interacting with others, you realize you don't even like most ppl lol! I'm not even a fan of the majority of men! Most are under stimulating overall, I don't feel I can genuine friendship with new men, like the friendships I have with men I befriended 13+ years ago, friendships that have been molded and nurtured over the years. If I can't see myself being able to form friendships em, I don't think I'm meant to date em. And I'm not gay, per se.. so it's not like I can just turn to women. The level of intimacy i NEED to even consider sexual relations is so high. To the point even if we're dating, if the intimacy drops, the sex just loses that soul touching aspect for me. It just starts feeling like I'm "fucking a person" not MY person...

So anyways, is everyone designed with a partner in mind? Is it only one person? Like is there one person designed to be your person for the duration of your life? Or multiple ppl? As hard as it is for me to like ppl in general, I feel like I've met the one person for me but if he got hit by a bus tomorrow? I just don't have faith I'd ever get another "person" lol!

Or are there no such things as having a person made for you in the first place? Are we responsible for building mending and maintaining the bonds and connections we firm in our lives? Like if you never meet "the one" is it because you never did your part? Cuz if that's the case I wouldn't have a hard time believing I'm in my own way lol all the excuses I have to stay away from men🤣🤣 idk.. this is so just where my mind is at the moment. And I don't have ppl to talk to lol! Might change in the very next moment.

*I'm sure there are typos as I Swype instead of typing on my phone. I'll edit it whenever i proofread/reread