#i think i might have fucked up and split the first one tho because i have eight lmao

[aq2003]

macbeth soundtrack, my beloved

(voice removal is scuffed and i am very much guessing on some of these, i tried my best)

[ghostdiva]

ok so the new trailer for episode 3 just dropped. big hype. here are some theory's, notes, and observations.

also I took a lot of screenshots...

anyway here we go.

so the adventure is set to be "The Mystery of Mildenhall Manor". Now, I do think that Caine is gonna be the quest giver this time, sending the gang to find something inside the spooky, probably haunted manor.

small guess is that they gotta find Matilda, one of the ghosts haunting the manor, and trap her in a vacuum. idk why, it's literally just a hunch.

Jax also takes a moment to harass Pomni with a vacuum, which just makes me think of Luigi's Mansion.

anyway, the gang (minus Zooble) are gonna go in the manor and try to find whatever they're looking for, and either by agreement or random set of events, the gang is gonna split up, Pomni and Kinger being paired up. I don't really know if Ragatha, Gangle, and Jax stick together or not, as they're not really shown much in the trailer.

I am inclined to believe it is a set of events that separates the gang tho.

it's the one of the reasons I can think of that'd make Pomni climb on the door like that.

I mean... outside of the very spooky decorum.....

which Pomni has a pretty reasonable reaction to

btw, I fucking love Pomni's cartoon physics with the squash and stretch rubber-hose animation. it's so expressive and fun to watch.

anyway, it seems Caine is determined to have Zooble go on adventures. so he literally sits them down and tries to therapize them.

though with Caine being an AI with very little knowledge of how the human mind works, this goes predictably horribly.

I imagine Zooble tries on some level to convey to Caine the ludicrousness of their situation. stuck in a digital world getting repeatedly traumatized by meaningless adventures that seem to do more harm than good. though I get the feeling Caine would miss the point, leading Zooble to correct him, and/or get upset at him for not understanding. watching this verbal fight happen between these 2 will probably lead to us, the viewer, understanding more about Zooble.

anyway, back to the manor with this cute little guy.

look at him, he's so cute and squishable. unfortunately this guy is the only cute and squishable NPC here because Pomni and Kinger seems to really be going through it.

they're mostly poking around, opening drawers and stuff. maybe they're looking for a key to get back with the others or something? who knows.

they both probably stumble around in the dark for a bit, both figuratively and literally.

they might end up stumbling into an antagonist NPC, which is the only way I can explain some of these screenshots.

it looks to me like Kinger is facing something. I mean, He's missing an eye in the first one, smacking something with a gun in the second, and looking really worried in the third. Plus the fist 2 have similar lighting so I'm inclined to believe those 2 pics come from clips in close time frames to each other.

there's also another image that has similar lighting...

now... this may sound weird, but I think that either Pomni got Possessed somehow, or something tried to take her shape. Possession seems more feasible since we know at least 2 of the NPC's in this adventure are ghosts, and at least in media ghosts are known to possess people. seeing as digital circus seems to love pulling from video game mechanics, this wouldn't surprise me at all.

this would also kind of explain why in the "POMNI WAKE UP!! IT'S TIME TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE" video, in the "Kinger with a shotgun" clip, he seems to be hitting Pomni with the gun. it makes a lot more sense if Pomni ends up getting possessed somehow, forcing Kinger to hit her in order to defend himself from the ghost.

this also could tie back to the worried look on Kingers face in the screenshot before Possessed Pomni. Cause he'd know what he has to do, even though he doesn't want to hurt Pomni.

Hell, I'm pretty sure Kinger even openly protects Pomni in this episode.

because of the shot in the trailer taken from this hole's perspective

not only is Pomni hiding behind Kinger, but he has one of his hands out in front of her, as if to protect her from whatever is in that hole.

also in regards to guns, Kinger isn't the only one who gets to have a gun.

Pomni gets to wield a shotgun too, and it's likely to help both herself and Kinger fight off whatever was after them in the hole.

Ghost possession and gun-slinging aside, I do think that Pomni and Kinger have a little heart to heart in this episode.

boy doesn't that screenshot look familiar. reminds me of episode 2 with the blue lighting and concerned expression on Pomni's face. That scene in the test room where Pomni comforts Gumigoo. this time tho, she's comforting Kinger. it almost makes me wonder if this will be a reoccurring theme, with all the other characters eventually having a heart to heart with Pomni, and Pomni comforting them.

it'd really make her live up to her quote in episode 2 "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anyone to feel like that".

the only thing I do still have questions about, is wtf is Kinger looking at here?

I mean, it looks like the eyes of a ghost, if they could make their eyes glow like that.

ya know what, maybe he's looking at a mound of pillows or something.

yeah, like that.

[yestrnight]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ OBSESSED WITH UR HYSTERIA !

FROM: yan! afab! househusband! kuni / afab! reader

SUBJECT: kuni thinks you're cheating, and the usual hysteria ensues. this relationship has got lots of red flags, like exhibit a: you absolutely dig it when he chokes you out.

( jealousy, choking, masochistic behavior <- reader, reader's kinda crazy in love, scara is too, toxic relationship, is it toxic tho when you both dig it, tribbing, pussy eating, doujin shit once again )

your pretty lil husband is honestly too pretty for his own good.

when you first met him, your seatmate in highschool with too much talent and too little humility, you instantly became a sucker for those haughty purple eyes. you tried to be nice— you can't be a scholarship student acting like a delinquent, now can you?— but scara was… mean. cruel, even. he sneered whenever you were within the vicinity, claiming he might pass out from the stench of gutter, and laughed when you tried to ask him to teach you the lesson. 

"is the charity student trying to leech off of me?" he had said one time. "you'd be better off cleaning dishes in my house than wasting your time trying to get a future you'll never have."

you think that was the catalyst… of whatever you've become. because as soon as he walked out the door and your friends came scurrying over trying to comfort you, the old [y. name] died, and something more perverse took over.

you wanted him to ruin you.

you're not a masochist, by all means. you like your arms clean, your neck unmarked, but fuck it's just so fucking different when scara— kuni, now— has his pretty hands wrapped tightly around your bare throat.

"admit it!" he screams, glaring at you with tears and an unmatched expression of hatred and betrayal. "you're fucking your boss, i fucking know it!"

you're grinning, even as your vision becomes blurry from the deprivation of air. laughing, actually, though they barely register in your ears now. you want him carnally that it's actually become instinct. you should be prying his hands off, screaming for help, but you're desperate for more.

"you know that's not right, baby," you coo. "you're the only one i love. i swear to archons and beyond, you're the only person i'd ever love."

then the grip he has on you softens, though the bitterness in his eyes hasn't quite calmed yet. of course you love him— if you hadn't, you would have filed for a divorce long ago with all the shit he does to you. but you dig it, you're fucking in love with him and the way he treats you, and you'd think that he should've known this a long time ago already. but he isn't because kuni's fucking crazy. 

guess what, you're even fucking crazier.

"you're a liar," he whispers to you. his purple hair brushes your cheek as he stares down at you eerily. "i don't believe you."

with the way you're grinning like a goddamn maniac? you don't blame him. but you feel that same grin split your cheek as it widens, and your cunt drooling as he straddles you.

"sorry then," you croak, hearts in your eyes like your husband isn't one choke away from killing you. "how do i make it up to you then, babe?"

usually it's you who's eating out scara like a man starved, pinching and rubbing at his t-dick as you watch him scream and rut into your mouth. he forces you to make out with his pussy by pulling your hair towards it, breathless whines about how good you make him feel and how he wants more. now the tables have turned, and it's scara digging his nails into your thighs and fucking your pussy with his tongue like there's no tomorrow. he has none of the care you have when you eat him out, but still all with all the passion and fervor. 

"you're mine, you're mine, you're mine, you're mine!" scara growls against your leaking cunt, slurping your essence and letting it smear on his lips. you're in love with the image before you— kuni's angry and teary eyes glaring up at you, lips shiny with slick. "you're supposed to be my partner! i'm the one you married!"

"y–yeah, you are, kuni!" you whimper as he plunges two delicate fingers into your warm hole and curls them. "you're the only one i'll ever love!"

now you could obviously make him a tad more jealous. tease him with some lies about fucking your boss like how he assumes. that'd probably break him and push him over the edge, set an even harder pace that both you and him would enjoy. but you can't bring yourself to say such repulsive things, not when they're against the very nature of your existence. so instead you plead and whisper your love to him while he berates and admonishes you, and you enjoy every single second of it.

he sets a cruel and hard pace, pounding away at you just as good as any dick. you can feel his eyes watching your expression, and you want to watch him too. but the way he has you writhing and arching on your bed, panting as you rut into his fingers— why, you can barely even make sense of the ceiling.

"ggghhh, ngh, kuniii~♡" you whine, sobbing as you rock back into his cruel fingers. "close, close, m' so cloooseee!" archons, you're on another plane of euphoria as he keeps hitting that spot again and again and again. you're seeing stars, and you can hear your keened pitch mixed with lighthearted laughter. close… so close…!

then his fingers pull away, and you scream-sob at the loss of pleasure. dick. but not unexpected. but what a fucking dick.

he smirks down at you, a mirror image of that sadistic high school student you fell in love with years ago. these days he's softened, more huffy and shrieky, but this just proves that he's still got that bully streak you fell for. "you're not cumming without me," he whispers, staring straight at you as his fingers slip into the waistband of his shorts. he pulls it down to reveal his smooth thighs and hairless pussy, and fuck you could come from just the sight alone. 

fluttering pink pussy crying slick down his thighs, he shallowly dips two fingers into his hole as his half-lidded eyes eat up your panting and shaking fugure. "you're so pretty," he murmurs, lifting one leg to straddle you again. you groan as you feel his bare cunt squishing against your skin. "it makes sense why so many people want you… you're cool, you're hardworking, and you have this…thing that makes people obsessed with you." he caresses your cheek, twirling a strand of hair around his fingers. "it's worked on me. worked on those stupid men in high school. even at work i can see those filthy cretin staring at you as if you don't have a ring on your finger."

you shiver when his voice dips into a hateful hiss. before you can even ask how he knows that people at work stare, he leans in for a kiss. it's cute and simple at first, the ones that kuni gives when you walk out the door because he's too shy to give anything more. but then it becomes more fervent and passionate, the sum of all his hate and annoyance towards anyone who'd dare lay their eyes on you. he bites at your lip, clashes his teeth against yours, sucks on your tongue till you're sobbing into the kiss. when he pulls away, it's with a triumphant smirk as he stares at your tear-streaked face.

"not laughing right now, are you?" he sneers, wiping the spit on his lips with the back of his hand. "don't worry, babe." he laughs at the foreign endearment. "i'll fuck you so hard you'll be my brainless, laughing slut at the end of the night, yeah?"

"kuni," you whimper, not even trying to be shameless about it when you try to roll back against his sopping cunt. "i love you, only you. you know that!"

his eyes visibly soften, and once more he's just kuni, not scara. "i know," he murmurs, positioning himself at your cunt. your breath hitches when you can feel the heat of his slit on yours. just bareely touching, and you're going crazy over how close to pleasure you are. "you like to act like you're the one calling the shots around the house, fool yourself into thinking that you're the breadwinner while your pretty lil wife waits at home for you stewing in his jealousy and obsession. when in reality…"

his smirk grows as he watches your heart-eyed expression. "you're just as fucking obsessed with me as i am with you, huh?"

not waiting for a response, he grinds his cunt into you, and both of you keen at the same time. he keeps thrusting into your heat, sliding your folds together and letting the fluids slick against each other. lewd squelching fills the air as you two pant and groan against each other, pussy lips making out with each other. you see stars everytime his clit meets yours, and when he sees your head throw back, he grins and grinds down once again for added measure.

"you're so, hah, fucking wet…" kuni simpers, trying his best to sound stable even though his tongue's just barely peeking out from the pleasure. "nggh, are you that turned on from me manhandling you? i could feel your slick through your panties when i was choking you." you let out a eager moan when his pussy slides just right against yours. "archons… i knew you were fucked up."

"s–sorry," you pant out, trying to match his rhythm. he grabs your leg and stills it, shooting you a cocky glance as he continues to lead the pace.

"hmph, apologizing for something you can't and won't change?" gosh, gosh, gosh, his pussy squelches against yours, and even more when he starts rubbing his own clit. you can feel his slick coming out in small spurts. "don't worry. i like it that way. you're fucked up just for me, right?"

"mmhmm," your body is shaking as you nod. "all for you. just for you, kuni."

"you'd kill for me, right?" you nod even more passionately. the expression on his face is downright wicked. "if i told you to drive a knife through your bastard of a boss, you'd do that, right?"

"anything for my pretty husband," you murmur, eyes fixed on kuni's finger rubbing his engorged clit. when they pull away, the trace of slick connects them both. "i love you too much, kuni."

there it is. you've been doing nothing but whisper of your undying love for him all night, but this confession was the one to hit the spot. he didn't want you to just love him. he wanted to make sure that you could think of nothing but your love for him, to attach your soul to his like how he had the moment you two kissed on that school rooftop. he'd burn down the world for you— he wanted you to do the same.

smiling in triumph, he shoots you a haughty look— as if he wasn't just insecure about this and he was so sure of your love for him all this time. "of course you do," he sneers. "where would you be without me?"

going back to his rough pace, he continues to rock into your heat. his fingers slide from his clit to yours, and he rubs circles on it to coax a climax out of you. "come on," he pants. "you're gonna come for me, right? squirt all over my pussy, yeah? i'm so wet for you, only you. you better pay me back."

"cum, cum, cummingggg~♡" you sob. your hands find his and your fingers intertwine. you don't see it, but his eyes widen with the slightest inch before pouting in an adorable blush. "ku~uniii, 'm gonna cumm~!"

"on my pussy, come on," he groans. "let it all out."

something in your stomach snaps, and you're arching into his heat too as kuni tugs on your clit and you start squirting all over him. he makes sure to press his pussy against yours even harder, kissing your lower lips so that his hole can swallow up every drop from you. 

"fuck, fuck, fuck, you're so hot," kuni hisses. he pulls away from you and swings his leg over your mouth. he's absolutely fucking dripping— with your slick or his, you don't know, don't care. he pulls your hair to lead your mouth against that pretty pink hole, fluttering eagerly for you to make out with. "come on, bitch," he hisses. "give me a proper apology. eat me out, just like that, yeah, come on."

he doesn't need to order you around— it's basic instinct for you to eat such a warm cunt when it's in front of you. he's rocking against you as your tongue fucks in and out of that hole, head thrown back in ecstasy. "archons, you eat me out so good. ugh, mmngh, cum, cumming~♡"

biting slightly at his clit and tugging it, you elicit a high-pitched squeak form him before opening your mouth. he squirts slick into your mouth too, pressing down to force you to swallow everything he has to offer. you can hear him laughing and groaning above you, smiling down at you in that manic smile he wears when caught in the throes of mind-numbing pleasure.

pulling at your hair, he tugs you away from his cunt with a lewd squelch, and grins down at you.

"put your boss on video call," he demands, taking pleasure in the way your eyes widen but dilate in pure lust. "i'm sure he'd be happy to see two pussies fucking each other for him.

tags: @scara6

[urperfectcinnamonroll07]

Dating Chishiya Headcanon's

requested?: no pairing(s): shuntarō chishiya x gn!reader, kuina x plationic!reader (mentioned), chishiya x platonic!kuina (mentioned) genre: headcanons warning(s): smutty themes in some parts (will be labeled), fluff, chishiya being whipped (again), mentions of pregnancy, chishiya smiling (:0), not proof read, mentions of alcohol summary: 𝘯/𝘢 word count: 2.1k a/n: had this in my mind for a while now, depending on how long this takes for me to right (edit:took 2 days, but i will try and do a mingyu fluff) i might not post the mingyu fluff tonight, but i will try. make sure you eat and drink something! stay safe, love yas, mwah! -Cila

Pre Borderlands

oki dokes, i feel like this beautiful smexy ass man defo wouldn’t show a lot of love

especially if you both met through being doctors in training

he would try to act professional

but at home

jeesh

whole diff story there babes

i feel like he would also be quite smug with you

like the typical loving banter

definitely teases you aswell

study sessions together (if you work in the same field as him)

if not, you both do spend time together by studying (if you study for something)

but again, if not, you admire him while he studies

now

this man is a hard worker, so he will forget things, like eating properly and drinking

so you deliver food for him at work

or you eat together on break

you two also joke about the apple a day

an apple a day keeps the doctor away yk

not him tho, he’s locked in for life honey

also has a lot of stress, so if he opens up, you better listen

it takes him a while to open up to someone yk

but he also will need a lot of help with his stress

at first he doesn’t mind cuddles that much, if anything he finds them slightly worthless

“why would someone just want to… lie there, with their arms around someone?”

“because, shiya, it’s romantic, now cuddle me please”

after a while, he will get used to it, and just cuddles you to sleep every night

even if he comes home late after a shift

and he finds you already asleep, having tried to wait for him

he gets changed and cuddles into you

defo a case of you fell first but he fell harder

i don’t really think he would want kids at first

but as he falls more deeply into love, he would defo change his mind

definitely very passionate and loves you dearly

not into pda or physical touch at all, but will use acts of service and words of affirmation as a love language

you most likely have tried his doctor coat one more than once

he acts all annoyed, but really he had butterflies in his stomach

definitely thinking that he wants to put a ring on your finger

iF yOu LiKe It ThEn YoU sHoUlD pUt A rInG oN iT (see what i did there hehe)

definitely so in love with you

absolutely whipped may i say

NSFW

passionate with fucking

he definitely likes to look down where his cock splits you apart

praise, but also degrading

with his work comes a lot of stress, so he likes to take it out on you

maybe when you go to take him lunch sometimes he’ll fuck you over his desk in his office if it’s a particularly stressful day

bends you over a lot

i feel like missionary or having you bent over is his fav position

probably won’t be into quickies that much

but when he is in a rush to get to work, but you look extremely fuckable, expect him to be late

or have an extremely quick round

i feel like he can be really soft and sensual, but when he wants to be, really rough and degrading

body worship

i also feel like he won’t mind if you want to try something out

or if you want to be dom

is quite open to experimenting

nothing that he knows will hurt you tho

hes a doctor

he cares about you, so he will definitely have set up a safe word system

always makes sure what he is doing is ok

on the other hand, if he is rough

he will barely ask

he knows it’s okay though

he will ask for you permission

but as soon as he gets into it, he won’t ask

he’ll just fuck

he isn’t that vocal in bed

a few groans here and there

but nothing much

if you make more noise, he’ll probably smirk against your neck as he fucks you good

he knows what he’s doing is good when he makes you cum over and over again

aftercare is the best

running you a bath and bathing together

being warm with your naked bodies pressed together

probably leads to another round on some nights tbf

but will massage the shampoo and conditioner into your scalp

he knows how to treat you well after all

Borderlands

if you two went into the borderlands together, you would already know eachother

he would want to protect you as well as he can

he knows when you’re lying about being injured

so he will help treat your injuries

he’ll be even more protective now

especially when niragi is around

he doesn’t show much love for you around anyone

in that way it shows he doesn’t have a weakness

and then people won’t torture you in response to that

so you respect him in that case

he is weak for you

he really doesn’t like seeing you hurt or in pain

so he does try his hardest to help you

he doesn’t want to see his precious little baby suffer, y’know

on the other hand, if you met in the borderlands, he probably didn’t take much of a liking to you at first

probably met through kuina at the beach

being such good friends and all

if you’re more of a party animal, he would look out for you

if you become friends after a while

also the same kind of dynamic

you fell first he fell harder

he would be very protective over you

power couple

you probably have playful banter

still not much into pda

links into what i said about niragi using you as a weakness for him

will be very romantic inside the safety of his bedroom tho

if he sees a creep looking at you, he would probably use his doctor knowledge to scare them away

i feel like the love confession would’ve come from you

kuina was probably off somewhere drinking her weight in alcohol

and you would’ve probably been tipsy

and then it just kinda spilled from you as he was talking about his doctor stuff

“that’s so funny shiya… y’know what else is funny?”

“what sweets?”

“i’m in love with you”

one thing probably led to another and you were in his bed(room) for the rest of the night

if it were more a golden retriever black cat relationship, you would be the one making allies/friends

he probably just glares at the person in the background

i feel like in the jack of hearts game, he would be dead serious

if you joked about death at any point, he would just shake his head while standing there

he would also scold you a little bit and tell you not to joke around about that kinda stuff

you, kuina and him would be such an iconic trio, chishiya with his wits, kuina with her strength and you with your charm (you can chose if you don’t like that)

you would probably be the only one who knows about him before the borderlands

and you comforted him

you didn’t really care about what he had done

NSFW

again, i feel like he would be soft and sensual

although i feel like he would be more into quickies now

definitely missionary as his fav position

he just loves to watch where your bodies connect, yk

still a shit ton of praise from him

and if he saves you during a game, you would insist on giving him a blowjob

he would probably try to turn it down tho

but you insist, so he lets you

when you do have time though, he will fuck you senseless

making sure you can’t walk properly the day after

he also likes watching you ride him, being all cocky as he holds your hips while you bounce up and down onto his large cock

he would be so fucking cocky when he hears your moans for the first time

“is my cock so big baby? you think you can take it? huh”

“ngh, shiya, gonna cum”

he’s definitely got a big dick, never mind his height (i’m literally the same height as him lmao)

hes just our short king yk

but hes good in bed

yk that stereotype that doctors are really good at sex because they know all about the human body?

yeah, i thoroughly believe that that’s chishiya’s sex life in a few simple words

fight me

literally fight me

he defo likes degrading, but in his own personal chishiya way, yk

i also feel like he would like to eat you out icl (when he has time ofc)

and swallowing your cum

keeping on going and overstimulating you

just to get you worked up for his cock

he would also like to see you suck on his cock like his good little girl you are

i will write fics and drabbles about this, i swear on it

i also feel like he would be into jealous sex

like not letting you touch him while he sucks your clit

maybe tying your hands above your head

fucking you until your begging him to stop

but he won’t because you haven’t used your safe word yet

maybe he sees another guy flirting with you

so he drags you to his room and fucks you

and if the guy is in earshot he makes sure that he can hear your oh-so pretty moans

makes you scream while your impaled on his cock to get the guy to back off

at the end of the day he loves you and wants the best for you

even if the best thing for you is screaming and creaming all over his cock

Post-Borderlands

i fully believe in the theory that chishiya remembers the borderlands

so when he wakes up, his first thought will probably be you

even if you don’t remember him at all, he would enjoy falling in love with you all over again

but if you were like a sunshine person, he would love your energy fr

he would js wanna fall in love with you again (not that he ever fell out of it)

but if we believe in the fact that he doesn’t remember the borderlands

he would so fall in love with you all over again

if you two were in the same hospital room

you two would probably talk every day

and he would grow to love you

even if he didn’t at first

after a few months of being out of the borderlands (or out of hospital, you choose)

he would probably take you on a date

cute little restaurant

he has that doctor money ykyk

sugar daddy fr

would defo want to settle down and start a family with you

if you have been dating for a few months by then

he would ask you to move in with him

you would ofc say yes (who wouldn’t, its chishiya mate)

i feel like as a father, he would be such a good dad

girl dad fr

he wouldn’t care the gender tho

he would make sure with their upbringing, he was the best dad

made sure they were healthy and that

also during the pregnancy, he would do all of the stuff you needed to do (if you get pregnant)

like lift heavy things

cook

clean

wash the dishes

wash the clothes

etc etc

would have his hands all over your baby bump

kiss it

probably not talk to it (its still chishiya babes)

all that romantic shit fr

or if you adopt, he would love the kid all the same

even if he isn’t the bio dad

he would still love his kids (i will write smt with dad chishiya at some point, dw)

and you

he would love you more that the moon and stars combined

NSFW

i think you know what imma say here

soft and sensual

definitely has more time

so he would like to eat you out

overstim you

like looking down at you while you suck his cock

all that jazz (or should i say jizz😉)

loves fingering you

i stand by what i said with him being good at sex with his doctor abilities

still stands for jealous sex

i feel like he would try to memorise all the parts of your bodies that you love being touched and makes you feel the best

he just wants his baby to feel the best

i feel like he would really like to keep your hands above your head while he fucks you

he likes to hear your moans (if your children ain’t home, we don’t wanna traumatise em today)

but yeah

he loves you so much and would to anything for you at the end of the day

[janiedean]

I have a few problems with Brienne's character.

1. Shouldn't she be bitter to world for someone who went through what she went through like Tyrion? Isn't it boring this way?

2. Brienne believes in rules. Why does she support Renly? She should have supported Joffrey first because she didn't know about incest. She should have supported Stannis after she learned incest.

3. If she doesn't care about the rules, why is she angry at Jaime for killing Aerys? She says he shouldn't have killed him even though Aerys was cruel. She never says I don't think you killed Aerys for the right reasons, she just says you shouldn't have.

weeell

1 she could... and most people would have been, but if she became then that she'd be sandor or tyrion or jaime, not *brienne* - like the entire point of her character is that she manages to *not* be bitter and cynical even if a bunch of shit happened to her and that *even* after she gets through her whole affc ordeal which does give her even more of a wake up call when it comes to how bad things are around she still doesn't become cynical or bitter and she still believes in her vows, which is why brienne is gonna eventually become the best knight in the realm™️ recognized by everyone and not just by the readers, because she's the only one who embodies all the knightly virtues AND lives by them AND even if she went through experiences that could and might have turned her cynical and bitter that's not gonna be what's in store for her

and btw my pet theory that she's gonna kill lady stoneheart for jaime in front of him is also because I think it's fundamental that a jaime who's back on his track to be honorable and found some peace can coach her through what happens when you kill your liege lord who went insane and might help her not turn out the way he did, more on that in answers two and three

2 she doesn't believe in *rules* though, she believes in honour and the knightly code and she's also in love with renly - like, the thing is: renly is the only person who treated her decently in her eyes (for her standards which is BAD - like again I love my girl but she was ready to die for him because he danced with her and didn't tell her she was ugly to her face which is a very fucking low standard), he's obviously her type, she fell in love with him, she swore herself to him and wanted to be in his guard, so unless renly did something like exceedingly HORRIBLE or dishonorable or something nothing was stopping her from siding with him - also when it comes to current westeros kingship..... I mean maybe but if you want to split hairs then the baratheons in themselves could have been seen as them being usurpers if one thought targaryens had the right of it. also if renly visited tarth and renly has storm's end technically she's already sort of sworn to him or anyway more in his orbit (he went to visit tarth for the political trip not stannis), also like the incest thing was something *stannis* said to corroborate his claim but it's not like cersei or anyone else ever owned up to it so she could care about it or not, but tldr if there's a crown crisis and people secede knights are free to side with whoever they think has the best claim. now I don't think renly had the best claim and as everyone and their walls know I'm everything but renly-friendly or anything like that (like I frankly dislike canon renly a lot for various reasons tho I think he could be a decent person in modern au) and that I think he should have sucked it up and supported stannis... but to her if she's not sworn to stannis first, if renly does his thing and if she loves him then nothing stops her from siding with him without it being a problem for her. like she wants to be a knight following a honor code and choosing a lord/lady/whatever to serve and then doing it to the bitter end is also that. she happened to pick renly but idt that's like anything that is particularly not coherent given the situation.

3 the problem with jaime killing aerys isn't the *rules*, it's the *vows*. now in general so it's out of the way: I was one of those people who was ride or die for jaime from the second he showed up in story and I already had a feeling from the get-go that whichever reason he had for killing aerys he most likely had done everyone a favor even without knowing the specifics, but like... no one knows why jaime did it and the fact that everyone thinks he has shit for honor because he's a knight and killed his liege he swore a vow to and he has zero patience to correct them when he actually did it for a very good reason is half of the reason why everyone has an unwarranted bad opinion of him and why the only person who actually likes him is tyrion bc he knows he's a decent person but no one else got as far as noticing it. now we can discuss to hell and back why jaime just went like fuck that who gives a shit and then decides maybe not but that's not the point.

the point is that a) the way you put that question doesn't take into account a lot of things which I'm getting into in a second, b) that literally no one knows jaime as a person beyond tyrion also bc he doesn't gaf to let others close beyond cers, so like for everyone in the realm that's the guy who killed his king when the ultimate knightly oath is serving your king. now not going into the fact that grrm is showing that knighthood is a rotten institution etc, from brienne's pov when she meets him

a) she's ugly, she doesn't think she has a chance to do anything except dying young while fighting and have ballads written about her while she tries being a knight a thing she knows she's good at and put all her chips on because she has literally nothing else going for herself

b) she's a woman so no one takes her seriously even when she's obviously good/better than 99.9% of her peers and it doesn't happen even after she wins a goddamned kingsguard spot after beating people who bet about who was gonna take her virginity first and the only thing she wanted was being in the kingsguard of a man she loved that she hoped to see on the throne

c) meanwhile jaime has everything from her pov - the name, the looks, the skill (because like everyone talks shit abt him but no one doubts he's good at his trade), got accepted into the kingsguard at *fifteeen*, could have had any woman he wanted had he chosen to not be a knight, while being a knight he's sworn into the highest possible position he could reach in westeros in that role like idk how to put it on paper if you wanna be recognized as a bonafide true knight ™️ no one would ever laugh about being in the KG is what makes it... and what does he do he kills his king and is absolutely unapologetic about it and doing the ultimate wrong thing a knight should never do and he gets to stay in the KG anyway when according to outside view he should have been kicked out while she had to eat dirt to get where she was and no one took her seriously anyway

d) she's also at almost her most naive and she still thinks the world works like vows so she doesn't even consider the fact that he might actually have had a reason to do it, so when

She says he shouldn't have killed him even though Aerys was cruel. She never says I don't think you killed Aerys for the right reasons, she just says you shouldn't have.

... yeah she says she shouldn't have killed him because that = spitting on an institution she thinks is the highest honor to be in (which ofc isn't true but other problem entirely) and it doesn't matter what reasons he might have had to do it, bc at that point she presumes that if he had any he'd have said back in the day and since he never bothered to do that then it doesn't matter. he shouldn't have because he's an anointed knight and it's dishonorable to kill your liege, end of story...

but there's the fallacy with your question because yeah... that happens in the beginning of asos before they get their trauma bonding road trip. if you read asos carefully she starts calling him ser or by his first name only without insults or the kingslayer the second he saves her from being raped the first time, she takes care of him at his worst, he ends up not having any fucks to give anymore about pretending he doesn't care about aerys and after they come through almost dying together and end up in the bath she's ready to hear why it happened and he's ready to share it for the first time period. he does it with her, not with anyone else, and on the spot she probably can't process it but after *that* she basically puts him back on his feet and takes care of him and gets in the way anytime someone else wants to get close before they meet roose, after he saves her from the bear pit she stops calling him names or anything but ser, when they meet and he gives her oathkeeper she tells him the white cloak becomes you so she obviously changed her mind... and in her affc chapters when people talk shit about jaime and his oathbreaking she stands up and leaves the premises because she can't bear to hear it and she tries to justify him to lady stoneheart (good luck) and she doesn't think he's wrong for that anymore. like yeah she doesn't go and tell him straight after he shares his story but she has no reason to because he knows she knows and they trusted each other at that point and when we get into her head she only thinks good of him and it's obvious she changed her mind which again... is another point I never managed to meta about even if I wanted to back in the day but like

tldr

if you notice when you read his pov and then hers and you see how they interact with each other he sounds way younger than his actual age (because he emotionally got stuck at when he killed aerys and only started moving on since he gets chapters) while brienne reads way older than she is because she got through enough shit even if she's barely nineteen that it makes sense she would have matured way faster, but when it comes to their ideals he is way more cynical and jaded because he got through ALL that crap at seventeen and he saw that things suck and he just went like fuck it while she is all idealistic and her-actual-age about it because of what I said in 1 - other than being younger and not having had ptsd level military trauma at his age she is also set apart because she's that devoted to being a knight in a way that reminds him of himself when he was young... so after they get past their crap he remembers wanting to be like her back in the day and tries to get there again and get back his honor while she becomes more mature and less naive and realizes the world isn't black and white so they actually hone each others' sharp edges out in that sense and they get better/learn from each other and that's another thing that's compelling about them, but like if you gotta get there then it makes sense he starts thinking she's a naive idiot who's gonna get jaded the second she finds out how the world works and then he's shocked when she doesn't and she thinks he's a pos who spat on the thing she wants most in the world and she can't have because people don't take her seriously and then she realizes he's actually not like that at all and that he did it for the most noble reason to the point she's willing to die for him later.

like again you can find those things not coherent or whatnot or you can just not vibe with brienne but question 3 hinges just on the beginning of their relationship and doesn't take into account the fact that she misjudges him harshly, openly admits it and regrets it and that post road trip and his hand loss it's obvious she only thinks good of him, question 1... well, yeah, there's that person in the books and it's sandor (and jaime too), if she were the same now she wouldn't be primed to become the new galahad now wouldn't she, and question 2 I answered but like again I still think following renly is the only stupid thing brienne ever did but didn't all teenagers in love at 16-17 do something exceedingly dumb and stupid and then grow up? because that was how old she was when they met (if not 15 actually) and it still didn't clash with the knightly code given she wanted to give him fealty.

anyway for extra clarity wrt my thoughts on most of this stuff that I've given through the years: why brienne in the kg makes no sense, why brienne gaf about renly post affc is preposterous and why the show version killing stannis made no sense (delved into the renly aspect), why brienne's pov is important and why she's primed to be best knight in westeros ™️, jaime's rship with both b. and c. and how it's all courtly love deconstruction which went into the knightly stuff which i couldn't possibly recap rn *flies away*

[solaris-amethyst]

🪻Stay Back, I Bite!🪻

✨Pairing: Wooyoung x gn!reader ✨Prompt: There was this trend going around where couples would test how their partner would react if being hit on by someone. I feel like Wooyoung or Hongjoong would be a lot of fun to see try this! ✨Requested by @beabatiny🫶🏻 ✨Word Count: 0.9k ✨Genre: fluff, non idol au, humor, partners au ☀️Authors Note: Thank you so much for the request! This was so much fun to write, hope you enjoy it even tho it’s a bit short❣️ Currently writing a Hongjoong version of this as well because I was inspired for both of them🫶🏻

"Wooyoung! Come here!!" You call for your partner while walking around the apartment trying to find him.

"Where are you??? I got something I want to try with you!" You say loudly and that does the trick, he comes in to the living room from his own bedroom and bounds towards you for a hug.

His arms wraps around you pressing you into him and you can smell the cologne he's wearing whilst he pepper your face with small kisses.

"I'm here love! What do you want to try out? Is it something fun?" He asks happily, he always enjoy doing things with you and as always he's curious as to what you might have cooked up this time.

"I saw this trend on TikTok where people test how their partner would react if they were being hit on by someone and I want to try it with you!" You explain holding up your phone wanting to film it, not necessarily to post it online, just to have something fun to look back on in the future.

"Sure! That sounds fun! Will you be hitting on me then?" He asks raising his eyebrows at you with a small smirk.

"Well yes." You roll your eyes at him "But you have to act how you would act in real life okay?"

"Yes sergeant!" He says while playfully saluting you before stepping away from you, looking at you curiously as you put up the camera and start filming.

"So we have something to look back on." You say before going out of frame and getting ready to go and flirt with him. Wooyoung stands there looking around pretending as if he's somewhere else, he picks up his phone and starts playing around on it just so he looks busy.

"Hey I'm sorry, but which one would you say is better out of these two?" You ask as you hold up to bars of chocolate towards Wooyoung, leaning close so you enter his own personal space. He glances at you, looking you up and down before suddenly turning towards you and going:

"BARK BARK BARK!" You're caught by surprise before bursting out into laughter at the fact that your boyfriend is standing there barking at you, moving closer as he lets out a bark.

"Woo what the fuck?!" You stare at him as you laugh "You'd seriously bark at someone??"

"If it made them back off then yes and it worked!" He points towards you as if it proved his point before laughing as well. He had tried so hard to not burst out laughing at the split second you had looked at him with wide eyes in shock when he had let out his first bark to get you to back off.

"Okay okay." You say trying to stop giggling as you step out of frame to go and hit on him as a stranger again.

"Hey there pretty boy, think you can help me carry this big package to my car?" You say giving him a wink.

Wooyoung looks at you once before giving you a glare stating loudly.

"Stay back! I bite!!"

"What?" You're completely taken aback at what he said and he turns to you and bites the air.

"I'm serious!!" He bites twice before letting out a huff of air turning around causing you to break character and laugh again. You can hear him giggle most likely finding himself funny as he playfully takes your arm and bites it causing you to gasp and give him a light slap on his arm.

"You do know you could just say you got a partner babe."

You tell him in-between laughs and he turns around with that playful glint in his eyes.

"Now where is the fun in that??" He says while giving you a big grin.

"Go again! This is fun!!" He says cheekily

"Okay, okay one more time!"

You take a moment to regain yourself wondering what he might say or do this time. So far this had been pure comedy for you and the fact that you will be able to look back on it makes it even better.

"You're really cute! Can I get your number??" You tell him trying to stop the laughter from building up before he's even done anything.

"No you can not get my number. You know, I have a partner and they're absolutely amazing. You should see them they're perfect in my eyes especially when they smile a me. They bring me so much joy and I would never ever ever want to leave them, I'd rather walk on legos than let them go. They're beautiful and kind and loving and handsome and wow they're the love of my life." Wooyoung rambles on so quickly you can barely catch what he's saying and he just goes on and on and on until you slowly but surely back away from him with a snort.

"Yeah I think you pass this one with flying colors babe." You admit, now trying to fight the heat building on your cheeks as Wooyoungs words actually starts to sink in.

"Yayyyy!!!!" He runs up and hugs you, spinning you around happily.

The two of you end up looking back at what you had just filmed and the laughter and snorts echoes loudly throughout the apartment when Wooyoung suddenly barks at you.

"I still can't believe you'd bark at someone like that." You say to him

"Why not? I'd totally do it." He says with an innocent smile before continuing:

"Now we should totally do the other way around! I wanna hit on you and see what you would do!" He grins and you can't help but laugh and give his nose a little kiss before agreeing to do it the other way around so he gets to see how you would react in this scenario.

[lamnwar]

KNB boys getting caught with their s/o? Specifically Kagami, Kise and Aomine.

getting caught doing what hm? 🤨 jk jk!! that's a very fun request I really enjoyed writing these hcs so thanks for the request babe 💕💕 (also sorry took me so long but coming from me are we surprised lmao)

MDNI 18+

GETTING CAUGHT // KNB Headcanons

Context: what if you and your boyfriend get caught in action, huh? All characters are aged-up for plot purposes (18+).

Pairings: Kagami + Kise + Aomine x gn! Reader

Warnings: nsfw (obviously 😭)! mention of sex (penetrative and oral), exhibitionism, public sex (kinda), more crack than sexy tbh but still!

KAGAMI

Ok first, let's preface by saying that it really is not like Taiga to take the risk of having sex when he knows you guys might get caught

He really tries his best to conceal his needs till you can find a place with enough intimacy to proceed

But sometimes, he really can't help it, you know?

And it's kinda on you for tempting him too! You know the guy gets riled up easily so maybe you did it on purpose now... didn't you?

(In other words, it's a 100% your fault oops)

Anyways, long story short, you got him so turned on that he had no choice but to drag you to the closest room with the very clear intent of being burried deep inside you

He's midway through restlessly thrusting into your tight little hole and he's so lost on the feeling that he doesn't even realize how loud the both of you are

There could be a whole party going down, y'all would still be heard

And it doesn't take long for someone to walk in on you bend forward, Kagami's fat cock drilling into you with so much fervour

Neither of you realizes that someone's there till they make themselves heard

A string of "oh my fucking god, I'm so sorry!!" getting the both of you to look at the door with wide eyes

And Kagami is so stunned on the moment to even think

Under the surprise, his first reflex is to hide his dick completely inside you, getting a surprised yelp out of your mouth

And when it hits that you guys got caught, he goes flushed red

Given that the person catching you isn't a perv, they close the door rapidly after but Kagami is still under total shock

He doesn't move for a while, and you have to bring him back to Earth

So here you are, Taiga's dick deep in your guts, trying to move to get him to react or something

"Uh... Taiga? What-"

When he finally snaps out of it, he hurrily gets out of you, quite to your displeasure though

And it's when you grab him and pull him back to you that he realizes that you have no intention to stop, despite getting caught

"They already know anyways, doesn't change a thing"

KISE

Definitely the one that got you in that situation in the first place

LISTEN there's no way he's not gonna use his charms to get you to follow him in his ministrations

So he just had to bat his pretty eyelashes and tell you the right words for you to accept the position you're currently in

Meaning split in half by Kise, as he lets out the prettiest moans ever, like there's not a whole crowd on the over side of the wall

It doesn't take long for people to notice what you two are doing

But that doesn't stop Kise, oh no haha

He's a showman of sorts, so it doesn't bother him that to the surrounding, it is clear as day that he's fucking you senseless

Only when someone actually shows up to tell you to stop does he care

And not because he minds being seen in such position

Mainly because you seem very embarrassed that you've got caught

Kise would argue that you are at your hottest when your face's flushed, hair disheveled, body contorsioned to accomodate him in between your thighs, but that's Kise's very biased opinion

To a stranger, it's a rather scandalous sight so it's very likely that you'll hate being in such predicament

Lucky for you, Kise talks the way out of trouble for the two of you

But you still urge him to leave the place and go to somewhere we're it's actually acceptable to have sex

(He loves you so much and is so needy for you though, he can't even stand the drive back home, he'll go back deep into you in the car itself <3)

AOMINE

Alright for this one, if you're wondering how you ended up having public sex, the answer is rather simple

Daiki and you are just super horny and can't keep it in your pants (sorry 😔)

It's really in the heat of the moment y'all figured that nothing mattered

Not even the fact that you're giving him head in a very public space

He's just so tempting, you know!!

And he's been looking at your lips for the past hour, so you should have known that he'd end up begging for you to suck his dick

So you just found the first place where you could get on your knees and didn't hesitate twice before getting him out of his pants

Now here you are, sloppily giving him the best head of his life with a bunch of strangers around

I'd like to say that neither of you are exhibitionist but this situation is somewhat super hot

(Again, y'all are just super horny)

Anyways, doesn't take long for you two to get caught and nearly cause a heart attack to whoever sees you

Thing is!! Aomine has no intention to stop

You neither, by the way

You're both on a mission to make him cum so you're not stopping

Instead, you pick up the pace, till he finally snaps and cum down your throat

Swallowing it all because you shouldn't leave any trace!

Once that's done, you do apologize to your surrounding

Takes a couple of hours for you two to realize what you've done and that it's lowkey a public offense

Promise that it won't happen again but Aomine really can't help wanting you anytime and anywhere :)

[hockeyforbabes]

Birds of a Feather Ch. 4

MASTER LIST

A/N: It's a bit of a short chapter but don't worry chapter 5 is coming very soon.

Present- Addie's POV

Sitting on the floor surrounded by the contents of my suitcase thrown around I let out a sigh. I've never had this much trouble getting ready in my life, but I'm 90% sure my best friend just told me he wants me and I'm not sure how to process it.

On one hand, I'm scared and don't want things to change. Our relationship is special, why risk it? On the other hand... I think I might want him too. I don't know. I'm confused.

So now I sit here on the floor with no idea what to wear because now I know that he is looking and I want him to like what he sees.

I didn't pack with the intention of impressing anyone. I need help. Quickly pulling out my phone I text the only person who can help me right now.

Me: SOS!!!

Grace👑: What's wrong?!?

Me: Luke basically just admitted he has been flirting with me and that he is ready to start going after what he wants

Grace👑: FUCKING FINALLY

Grace👑: What's the emergency tho?

Me: I wasn't prepared for this and now I have nothing to wear.

Grace👑: Ah I see, come to my room, I'll kick Quinn out for a minute.

Running up to the top floor I make it to Grace and Quinn's room in record time.

"Woah there, calm down I'm here to help," Grace says seeing my frantic state.

"My world feels like it just got flipped upside down, help me look pretty," I beg.

Going through her suitcase I try on multiple dresses before we find the right one. It's a simple red sun dress but it compliments my tan well. The hem falls a little short on me as I am taller than Gracie but I like how it shows off my legs and plus it-

"You're tits look amazing Addie," Grace says coming behind me in the mirror, "I'd so wanna tap that if I were a dude."

"That's not the point of the dress," I say laughing, "but thank you."

Heading back downstairs to finish my hair and makeup I have a small pep in my step. Having a crush is fun.

----------

"Addie we are about to leave!" I hear the boys shouting.

"I'm coming!" I respond walking up the stairs.

Everyone is slightly dressed up since we are going into town for dinner at one of the restaurants on the pier.

The girls see me first both telling me I look pretty and I return the compliment. Next, I turn to Luke and I see him before he sees me. He's wearing a navy polo that is tight across his chest and biceps like maybe he has grown since buying it. Paired with the polo is a pair of khaki shorts that are just short enough for me to get a good look at his strong hockey thighs.

Finally Luke turns to look at me. He gives me a once over with a small smirk before his eyes bounce back to my chest and his cheeks turn red.

"Ready for dinner Lukie," I tease him lightly knowing he isn't focused on my words at all.

Before he pulls himself together Jack groans, "Yes I'm starving let's go."

"Wait how are we driving there are 6 of us and we only have 5 seats at most?" Ashlyn asks.

As I'm about to suggest we split up Luke answers, "Addie can just sit on my lap," and with that, he walks out to the car.

Everyone looks around and gives a shrug as they are okay with the plan and we all quickly follow. As everyone piles I remain standing outside the car.

"Are you sure I won't hurt your leg Luke?" I ask quietly.

"Yes, I'll be fine come on," he says grabbing my waist and putting me on his lap with ease.

As we start the drive into town the car fills with chatter. I wiggle a little to get more comfortable before leaning back into Luke and he puts his head on my shoulder and his arms around me.

Turning to face Luke I say, "You know we could have just taken my car?"

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't get to hold you," He says squeezing me tighter.

I smile at him appreciating his sweet words. Soon we pull up to the restaurant and all get out of the car.

As I follow everyone into the restaurant Luke gently grabs my wrist and pulls me back from the group.

"I just wanted to tell you that you look amazing in that dress," he says with his voice low, "I can hardly keep my eyes off you."

With that, he places a kiss on my temple taking me by surprise, and then walks into the restaurant as I'm left there dumbfounded.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Present- Luke's POV

I'm such a fucking idiot.

As soon as I admitted to Addie I had been flirting with her I regretted it. Then I just had to keep talking and I told her that I was going to start going for the things I wanted. Then I kissed her head when I got out of the car.

I was supposed to take this whole making-a-move thing slow. I don't even know if she is interested too. The last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable with my advances.

I spend almost the entirety of dinner silent, blaming it on being tired from the day. When it's time to go the boys say they are gonna take their girlfriends shopping which leaves Addie and I alone and for the first time in our friendship I don't know what to do.

Before I can overthink too much Addie says, "Do you wanna walk down the pier?"

Nodding my head we take off side by side looking out at the water as I get lost in my thoughts of what to do next.

Halfway down the pier Addie shakes me and yells, "Luke!"

Confused I ask her, "What's wrong?"

"I've said your name like ten times, you are off in space," she explains, "Is everything okay?"

Embarrassment taking over me I tell her the truth, "I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have been so forward earlier and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"You didn't make me uncomfortable Luke you don't need to freak out," she tells me.

"I just don't want to mess anything up," I sigh, "I was serious earlier when I said I'm going after the things I want, and you are one of them. If you don't want that though tell me now, tell me to stop before I go too far and we can remain best friends forever. If I have a shot though Addie... I'm taking it."

Watching her eyes widen as she takes in my words I prepare myself to be turned down. Then she does the unexpected.

Standing up on her toes she places her hands on my cheeks and kisses me. A kiss so soft and light I'm not sure if I dreamed it.

Pulling back to look at me with wide eyes realizing what she just did she starts to back away. Before she can get far though I am the one leaning in this time pressing my lips to hers.

It's not a crazy kiss, but our lips move slowly together and I feel like I am floating.

After a moment we both pull away suddenly aware of our very public location.

Staring at each other she is the first to speak, "Luke, you have a shot. We can give this a shot."

My face breaks out in a grin I can't contain, "That's all I need."

Walking back to the car our hands brush each other's the whole way. Neither of us brave enough to make the move but both wanting contact.

The car ride home is less eventful but as I hold her there in my arms, enjoying the weight of her against my chest I just keep smiling. I have a shot.

[maygrcnt]

something i think is very imminent in 911 season 8 is a change in the professional dynamic of the 118. we barely got to see them in action this year (and when we did it was often isolated sub groups who were progressing a personal storyline. save for one or two genuine emergencies), and i do think that’s because they realized that since nothing has changed about how the team works the emergencies have gotten a bit repetitive— bobby gives the orders, buck and eddie pull off the rescue, hen and chim save their life. so i was kinda mulling it over and trying to see how this could be solved in a full length season where they can’t get away with the lack of emergencies and will probably need to shake up the 118 dynamic a bit.

the first option is obviously to just split everybody up into different stations. it’s what i’ve been speculating about for a while and i think it’s a genuine option. the only reason i say maybe not is because it kind of defeats the idea of having more emergencies because it would be difficult to show casual rescues if everyone is everywhere, and they’d have to hire quite a few guest actors to play the other firefighters. also because lone star kind of already did this storyline if im not mistaken and i don’t want to just rinse and repeat from them lmao.

so what i think is actually going to happen is that bobby is no longer captain 118. i don’t think he retires and i DEFINITELY don’t think he dies. they’ve dropped the thread that the chief wants to run for…. some sort of office i don’t know what. but that medal ceremony probably looked reallll good on his campaign so i wouldn’t be surprised if he won and needed someone to fill his shoes. they made a point of having bobby call himself “the star captain at the star firehouse” so obviously since season three he’s built up his reputation back quite well in the LAFD and a promotion would probably be very realistic. i could even see them do like station 19 did and have the promoted character use the shows station as a “home base”. i do not care if this is realistic i care that bobby is still here!

this creates a hole in the captain ship at the 118 and while they could do the “navigating a new captain route” i just… wish they wouldn’t. also they NEED to give more of these characters some professional development SO, i think captain hen is incoming. we could finally put a satisfying pin on the end of her journey for more and it would go together nicely with finally finding closure on her family storyline as well.

now with hen as captain we need another EMT and i think eddie finally getting the full paramedic stuff would be so cooll! ryan mentioned that eddie would be exploring all new territory (yes i do think that’s also about gay eddie) and it would be so nice if that was eddie learning some new skills and knowledge. this would also give us a severely severely underused character dynamic in chim and eddie. would love to see them get up to shenanigans.

we’ve now shifted eddie over to the paramedic team so buck is all alone isn’t he… WRONG. ravi main character season 8 is REAL and it’s HAPPENING. he’s literally the perfect choice to pair with buck professionally! now that he’s not a probie (i would presume? timeline might be truly fucked tho so who knows) and he’s definitely seemed to have found his own voice within the 118 i want to have the buck and ravi work dynamic back. see them work together, figure things out, and most importantly let ravi show off that he’s COMPETENT. this also opens us up to have a new recurring character at the firehouse (please be a woman please be a woman please be a woman)

i realize it sounds a little bonkers crazy to split up buck and eddie at work because we’ve done that before and things were honestly miserable to watch. plus tim has said he wants to keep the interactions up as it’s “the core of that coupling” (his words not mine). and i agree! it’s DANGEROUS to split up this professional dynamic that we have grown to love. but i do believe that splitting them in the workplace is how we bring them together romantically.

think of chenford, in order to pursue their romantic storyline first we had to get out of the trainee/TO dynamic. and it was a little scary because that was how we got most of their scenes together! but we didn’t lose the chenford dynamic, we simply moved it into the personal lives part of the show instead of the cop part of the show. that’s what i think will happen with buddie. we move them out of work partners and into (even MORE into i should say) life partners.

anyway the tldr of it is: bobby should get promoted, hen should be captain, eddie should become a paramedic, ravi should be a main character.

[johnslittlespoon]

okay listen feral bikerider gale/past catching up to him/etc etc etc anon here and can I just say. thank you. I’m not overly interested in the actual violence or gang-shit or whatever. when I first read about the bikerider au all I could think about was sons of anarchy (idk if you’ve watched it, but I watched three seasons with my dad and it’s all just. gang conflict after gang conflict after gang conflict with some romance sprinkled on top and that’s not. really my thing) and I was not into it. at all. then your yapping (affectionate) converted me. hearing that it won’t be all weapon smuggling and, idk, drugs or smth is actually so reassuring lol

and!!! obviously it’s your fic/au, I’m definitely not here to try to influence you in any way whatsoever!!! I’m super excited to read it no matter what because your writing is just. lovely. I check in pretty much every morning like I’m reading the papers lmao

doing something semi-stupid in your past feels like kind of on brand for everyone, even though it might not be illegal for most. and maybe it wasn’t illegal for Gale, either, bro I am not a very good writer, I’ll leave the plotting to someone else.

but I’ll always love the idea of Gale being a little feral. or a lot feral. like John getting hurt in a bikerider au tickles my brain the same way John punching a German guard in canon centric fics does. Nevermind the guard, I just need the fallout. the angsty fallout.

John and Gale coming back home, and Gale sitting him down in the bathroom to very, very carefully patch him up (and, listen, the other guys probably just roughed him up a little. he probably got away with minor bruises and some scrapes), and Gale being insanely worried that he has scared John. John on the other hand is worried for Gale, because what if it happens again? What if the police finds out? John being worried that he somehow messed up.

and, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t mind reading feral gale beating the shit out of people. It’s just not something I want to read a full fic of.

finally, because I just need to add this, too: Gale’s knuckles being split and bleeding and John so very carefully cleaning them up, pressing gentle kisses to the cuts when he has to scrape the dried blood up to get it properly clean. Gale not being sure what he did to deserve John, being so sweet and gentle and caring.

okay, over and out 🫡 sorry for not being that clear in the other ask, I blame. idk, sleep deprivation. and sorry for making this so long, idk what I’m on about half the time and my meds are doing shit to my brain. I love your blog and your writing just. makes my fucking days. I’d wait forever for the next chapter of dog coded Bucky ❤️

YIPPIEE more leaving!bikeriders au >:) hii i meant to get back to this SO long ago, feels like good timing now with the bikeriders theatre day approaching! i'm assuming you're the anon from this post <3

i have THOUGHTS. aka this got lengthy oops, shocker. a bit of plotting and then like 2k words of drabble below the cut lmfaoo

the proper drabble will be further down, but first of all, very big agree!! and relieved i'm not the only one who feels this way omg. i haven't watched SOA for this reason specifically– i just don't have much interest in the conflict/violence–heavy plot stuff (which is ironic considering i'm excited for the bikeriders movie, but i think it's pretty clear that's because of the lovely cast lol since i don't care for bikes/cars in the slightest oops). HONOURED that my yapping converted you tho LOL i swear if something is character focussed, it can make 99% of topics at least somewhat appealing!

and please don't worry omg i don't feel influenced/pressured etc, i loveee bouncing ideas and brainrot back and forth for my aus, it's sm fun and i love trying to incorporate things other people like/suggest when i can!! <3 but omg i will weep thank you so much wtf?? :'))

for sure; even the most stoic/'put together' characters surely have done some not very bright things in their lives. i'm toying with a couple backstories for gale to establish what might catch up to him or cause conflict, but i'm gonna wait to decide until i see the movie because i have a feeling i'll get some good inspo from benny's story!

honestly it's the part i'll have to put the most effort into really thinking out in terms of plot to make it flow naturally, because all the relationship focussed things kinda write themselves as i brainrot. but i'm 99% sure i'm gonna write the fic from john's pov because it'll keep a lot of gale a mystery to the readers as well, and therefore save me from having to flesh out certain things until necessary lmfaoo

and yeah!! it's not always the events themselves that hit the hardest– it's the fact that the character could be feral enough for them to happen in the first place, and it's the outcome/fallout that's most fun to write/read (to me).

feral gale is so fun to explore in general because of how different it is to most of what we're shown of him in mota, so it's like a challenge to keep him feeling in character while also picking out the little parts of him that could be pushed to be that way. and of course the classic whump of the one person gale cares about and tries so hard to protect getting hurt because of him? endless angst possibilities.

i dig what you said, about john 'just' being roughed up a little, because i think with whatever backstory i end up forming, it's not like the 'bad guys' are gonna be some mastermind criminals extorting gale for something life or death lol. it's probably gonna be a bunch of rough and tumble biker men with some long lasting beef between their clubs, hitting gale where they know it'll hurt the worst: a loved one.

i bet you anything (depending on how plotting goes LOL) that they don't actually even intend to mess john up to the extent they do; i bet john runs his mouth and makes some sorta escape attempt because as terrified as he is, all he can think about is how gale's gonna obviously track him down and he's more worried about what the guys are planning to do to gale when he shows up. in his naive mind, if he can get out and get to a phone or something, he can stop everything.

ofc the escape attempt is futile because it's one gangly college kid vs a couple of grown ass men, and john gets banged up in the process, seeing as being tackled to the ground with your wrists bound behind your back doesn't leave you with anything to protect your face from concrete with, and maybe then he gets a solid fist to the face to scare him out of pulling anymore shit (it sure works).

and just the act of taking john/putting him danger alone would have gale ready to wring these men out by their necks, but when he shows up and sees his baby bleeding? and he can't tell how bad he's hurt, from where he's lurking around the corner scoping out the situation? he'd see red and be pretty dang close to saying fuck it and going in there without a plan, but the fear of john getting hurt in the process would stop him, and he doesn't feel like going down for murder.

somehow he picks off the guys one by one with a generous amount of flying fists and y'know, maybe a bit of knife–work if necessary, idk, future plotting lol, and tells them they're good as dead if they pull anything like this again. that the club will be keeping an eye out for them, that they're a buncha cowards, and they can come talk to him face to face like men, next time. you get it.

and then finally, obligatory wound care ofc <3 easily top three tropes ever ugh. gale gets john the fuck out of there and to the safety of his truck, methodical and vigilant, and only then does his guarded expression drop, and his hands are shaking just as hard as john's are when he cups john's face in his hands to look him over. john gives him a shell–shocked "'m fine, gale" and hates how guilty gale looks, because there's not even the tiniest part of john that blames gale for any of it; john knew what he was getting into (to an extent) with gale.

but regardless, gale's shaken up, terrified by how much worse things could've gone and how much danger john could've been in, but also terrified of how deeply he feels for john; probably some backstory there about gale seeing someone he loved get hurt, or almost get hurt, swearing he'd never bring someone into his life again because of it, etc, and then in waltzes stubborn, loud–mouthed john egan.

but selfishly (or what he feels is selfish), gale's also terrified that this might be the final nail in the coffin for john. he knows he's not the easiest to be with (even though john thinks the exact same thing about himself lol silly boys) and he knows john's more patient than he deserves, and could find someone his own age with a normal life in a heartbeat with his sweet disposition and charming pretty boy looks. and he knows john's well within his rights to walk away from their relationship now, to be scared of the future, to decide it's too much, and part of gale would be relieved to not have to worry, even if he'd miss john like he's lost half of himself.

it's real quiet when they're back home and john's sitting on the bathroom counter, gale between his legs, patching up his face so so gently, as if each brush of a cotton swab is an apology. both of them have lots to say but neither know how to say it; john hates knowing gale's probably shouldering all the blame and he doesn't know how to reassure him in a way that'll get through to him, but he can't handle the silence. probably makes a weak joke about how "y'shoulda seen the other guy" and doesn't even get a smile out of gale.

ends up wrapping his legs around gale's hips to pull him closer but just gets a huffed out, frustrated "john" as gale swats his ankles away, and it's not that john's trying to make light of what happened, he just doesn't know how to talk about something like that, regardless of how good he and gale have gotten at communicating.

john probably gets a bit frustrated, because gale’s already so protective over him as is, which he likes, but now gale’s treating him like glass, like he’s scared to hurt him further just by touching him, and john does not like that. it feels like progress undone, like he's back at the beginning of their relationship when gale wouldn't let him in or open up to him or trust that he was capable of making his own decisions.

so when gale's done bandaging him up with practiced, meticulous hands, john doesn't give gale time to react, just slides off the counter and snatches the little first aid kit from his hands and says "okay, your turn." and it's obvious gale wants to protest, but john catches him so off guard that he stunned into silence, lets john guide him until he's leaning against the counter.

john's hands still tremble when he takes gale's hands in his, and he tries to steady them because he doesn't want gale to see how freaked out he is, but he diligently cleans away the blood around his knuckles, feeling gale's eyes on him the whole time but not looking away from his task, scared he'll shatter the moment if he does.

if he were to look up though, he'd see gale's watching him in complete awe, struck by the fiercest wave of adoration, drawing a blank while he tries to search for what he could've possibly done in this life or another to have someone like john come (crashing, stumbling, tornado–ing) into his life.

and if we wanna make it extra yowch–y and sappy and feelings heavy: as john's brushing his lips over the cuts, dusting featherlight kisses across his knuckles, john's throat goes tight and he feels his own overwhelming rush of emotions and his heart thumps and he blurts out: "i love you."

it's the first time one of them says it. and it’s a disguised i love you even so. i love you despite. i love you anyway. i love you because. months worth of reassurances wrapped into three words, and even with what john's just gone through, he's still scared when it slips out, looks up at gale with wide, searching eyes, trying to gauge whether he's overstepped or said the wrong thing.

gale's just trying to catch his breath, feeling like the wind's been knocked out of him by the admission. half of him wants to shake his head, gently push john's hands away, tell him "no you don't, hun." a tiny part of him wants to be cruel about it, to laugh the honesty off and ensure john will walk out that door far, far away from the mess that gale is, and not turn back, safe from harm.

but the other half of him, the half that holds his heart, evidently, has him cupping john's open, sincere face in his hands, looking down into bright, fearful, hopeful blue eyes, and murmuring "i love you more."

and john blushes as hard as he did the first time they'd kissed, as hard as he did the first time he was laid out in gale's bed, as if he and gale haven't said a million things much more fluster–inducing since they met. gets all shy, pouts, looks down and mumbles "that's not fair," and that finally gets the first smile out of gale all day, maybe even a breath of a laugh.

they love each other your honour </333

this got way out of hand but what else is newwww i'm so weak for these two. so so weak. i keep saying it but MAN i'm so excited to write this fic this summer omg :')

and DON'T BE SORRY!! it's so chill omg, you were perfectly clear (but i'm glad you elaborated and gave me an excuse to yap about them some more hehehe) and never apologize for long messages, i loveee reading the brainrot and hearing ur thoughts and getting to brainrot back. and thank you AGAIN sobs 😭💗 that makes MY days and ur way too kind fml. i hope the wait hasn't been too long LOL on the chapters AND a response to this ask!! tysm again mwah

[boomboom-tanjiro2019]

OUR BELOVED SUMMER AU

PORTGAS D ACE X F! READER

This is gonna be based off the KDRAMA "Our Beloved Summer" I haven't finished it so keep that in mind. Idk if this is gonna be continued but this is the concept. Use of They/Them for Ivankov. I'm a Mrs. Kook defender. Not much was changed here but I will be altering to fit with the characters personalities a bit. Some original "Our Beloved Summer" characters might be split into two depending on the scene. The formatting is super weird so might not make sense, I really reccomend the show! Basically the different font is when the two are being interviewed and the flashbacks in between are describing the events of their meeting. As it goes on it will make more sense. Obv this is not my original storyline though some parts are changed 100% reccomend the show.

PROLOGUE

May, 2011

Interview, Ace sits in chair shuffling awkwardly. Portgas D. Ace, High School Senior, 17: Oh… start? Uh- My name is Portgas D. Ace.

-

A teacher talks at the front of the classroom as Ace knocks out in a fit of narcolepsy. Camera crew recording to the right of him near a window, miniature camera facing him on his desk, another camera facing the girl next to him.

His eyes flutter open and immediately direct to the camera crew next to him, comfortability snatched away from him.

“Don’t look at the camera” Dragon whispers over.

Ace slowly lifts his head, “It’s too big for me to miss…”

Dragon sighs, “Just… pretend there’s nothing over here”

“How am I supposed to do that? It’s right in front of me??”

“Ignore it-“

“Idiot. Face forward.” The girl in the chair next to Ace whisper shouts over the teacher. Ace furrows his eyebrows and looks at her as she stares down at him from his hunched over position, “…Why are you looking at me? Look at the board.”

‘Bitch.’ Ace thinks.

“Class is dismissed! Do whatever you want.” The teacher, Dracule Mihawk sighs and whispers under his breath, “Fuck these kids.”

He packs up his things as the camera crew stays fixated on him.

“You’re leaving?” she asks, sitting in the same spot.

“None of your business what I’m doing.” Ace messily shoves his things in his bag, papers everywhere crumpled together.

The girl takes a deep breath, “Sir, can we stop recording?” Her head slowly turns to glare at the back of Ace’s head, “It’s really hard to work with such an idiot.”

Ace turns on the heel of his sneakers “Huh? You call me an idi-“

“We have been filming for DAYS. The whole time you’ve been moving around like you’re insane. I can’t focus at ALL because you were so restless.”

“The camera is- RIGHT. THERE. What the hell do you want me to do?”

“Focus on class? Maybe?! You can’t even do that?”

“Then ignore me and focus on yourself.”

“Fine. You don’t care about getting good grades, totally get it. But I refuse for you to end up bringing me down to your level.”

Ace turns to the camera in a “The Office” style fourth wall break, “You heard that right?” He turns back, “I’m SOOO happy for you. Your social skills couldn’t get lower.”

The girl scoffs and murmurs “why did I even agree to this?”

“I KNOW right?” Ace smiles and puts his hands on his hips with a sarcastically confused expression, “Why DID you agree to this?” With that, he storms off.

-

Interview Y/N L/N, High School Senior, 17:  My name is Y/N L/N. I think I first saw Ace around the tenth grade.

-

Flashback to when Y/N is describing, October 17, 2009 

Y/N approaches the library desk, peaking over at the top Bookworms list.

Portgas D Ace

Y/N L/N

“Excuse me, Mrs.?” Y/N asks as the librarian looks up. “Who is…um…” she reads the name one more time “ Ace?”

“Oh? Ace? He’s over there actually.” She points to a guy over in the corner of the library.

-

Y/N L/N, High School Senior, 17: I met him in a weird spot.

-

“Hey.” She stands near the boy, “My name is Y/N. What’s your school rank?”

Ace looks at her, taken aback and kind of bashfully , “Erm… 267.”

She freezes, “But… we only have-“

“267 students.”

-

Y/N L/N, High School Senior, 17:  At that moment, I thought he was a super weird kid. Portgas D. Ace, High School Senior, 17:  UM- No. That was the 2nd time we met. The first time was during the entrance ceremony.

-

Flashback to their freshman year, first day of school.

A multitude of students stand in separate lines at a school gym as school officials sit in chairs on a decorated front stage.

“The student entering into their first year with the best grades from middle school is Y/N L/N!” A principle shouts over the chatter.

-

Portgas D. Ace, High School Senior, 17:  I watched her walk because she looked like a soldier marching into war or something.

-

Y/N grabs her award with a small and serious smile and swiftly going back to her spot in line.

Ace’s deep chocolate eyes meet her piercing and intoxicating ones, he smiles softly at her.

-

Portgas D. Ace, High School Senior, 17:  In my own defense here, I was just trying to be nice to her the first time our eyes met.

-

“Hey.” She tilts her head up in his direction. 

Ace gasps slightly, cursing himself for doing it right after. His eyes widen and he waits for another word intently

“Turn around.” She narrows her eyes at him.

He looks as if he was pretending not to die slowly, his eyes staying in the same position as only his head slowly rotates forward like a depressed owl.

-

Portgas D. Ace, High School Senior, 17:  That’s when I realized she was pretty weird. Y/N L/N, High School Senior, 17:  …ANYWAY- I never thought I would have gotten involved with a kid as weird as HIM.

-

Senior Year, February, 2011

Ace rolls around in a chair, restlessly holding a bag over his head with his nose scrunched and bopping his head to non-existent music like the Wii soundtrack was the only thing that was in his head. Which wouldn’t be an unreasonable assumption. The teachers’ room is packed with desks and computers.

“So- what do you think?” Ivankov smiles in an overexcited manner, “The director is a SUPER close confidant of mine and he PROMISED not to get in your way. Awesome right?” They wink, “You can always refuse of course.”

“…Am I the only one being filmed?” She asks.

“No, there will be another, they’ll record the best student and worst student for a month and see how you two will interact. Like a documentary. That’s where Ace-boy over there comes in.”

Y/N’s eyes pan over to Ace getting slapped with a rolled up piece of paperwork by a female teacher, wincing at the contact and putting on the expression of a hurt puppy… or a spoiled toddler. “Ouch- sorry-“ he whispers.

‘…right.” She thinks.

“Anyway- just keep the offer in mind, alright?” Ivankov smiles.

“Okay I will.” She smiles, “Thank you- wait… sorry- say I do agree to it, do I get paid for it?”

“Of course! You’ll be paid well.”

Ace’s bag stays over his head and his eyes stare directly at her as she’s leaving, catching her off guard. She freezes and looks him up and down before jogging off.

-

Y/N L/N, High School Senior, 17:  To me, it seemed like he was my total opposite. I thought about saying no. Portgas D. Ace, High School Senior, 17:  Yeah, well I had already said no when Iva asked me, but turned out I had no choice in the matter anyway.

-

“ACE!” Dadan calls out to her “not son” and drags him over to the bench the other two are still sitting at, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US ABOUT THE DOCUMENTARY?!”

“OW OW- why would I?! I’m not doing it.” Ace shouts while getting thrown over to sit on the bench.

Garp laughs and hits Ace way too hard on the back, “What are you TALKING ABOUT? Of course you are! Dragon came all this way to ask. Even though he owes me thousands in child support.”

Dadan mumbles, “You mean he owes ME.”

“YOU CAN'T MISS THIS CHANCE.”

“YOU’RE GONNA GET TO STUDY WITH THE TOP STUDENT OF THE YEAR- YOU HAVE TO.”

“I DON’T WANT TO!” Ace shouts, temper rising.

Garp’s grin fades, “Why the HELL not kid? How can you refuse?!”

“Strangers are gonna know my face!” He puts his arms up in defense.

Dadan scoffs, “as if you care about that.”

“I’m a senior! This will affect my academics.” Ace crosses his arms and closes his eyes as if that was a valid argument.

Silence.

Dadan and Garp burst out laughing.

Dadan can barely get the words out and shouts, “WELL THEY CAN’T GET ANY WORSE KID!”

Garp is still smiling but his laughter fades out, “I mean… they could be to Luffy’s level.”

“…Don’t even go there, he’s lucky he’s only a freshman so they can’t ask him to be in the documentary. He’s the only one Ace is beating right now.” Dadan completely stops smiling at the reminder of the horror that is Luffy’s academic life. No one is even sure he can read. “Besides, you’ll be studying with the TOP STUDENT! You should be GRATEFUL!!”

“But…. BUT! I…. THAT GIRL IS A WEIRDO!”

-

Going back to the interview room with the two at least two feet a part glancing at each other tiredly Y/N L/N, High School Senior, 17:  Yeah. That’s it- that’s about how this whole thing started. And it became way more bothersome than I thought.

-

Ace sits down in the classroom he switched to, pulling out an array of unnecessary items.

Y/N sighs, “it’s always the worst students who cause the most ruckus.”

Ace looks confusedly over to her, “You talking to me?”

“Keep your stuff off of my desk.”

Ace sassily scoots his colors over to the complete other side of his desk and slowly scoots the overlapping pages of Y/N’s book to her side.”

-

Portgas D. Ace, 17:  She was way more annoying than I could have ever imagined.

-

The two documentary stars sit at a lunch table alone with cameras between them documenting their every move.

-

Portgas D. Ace, 17: At first I tried to be friends with her.

-

“Hey um….” Ace awkwardly smiles before trying to talk, not being able to think of a conversation starter. He slowly puts his head back down, fiddling with his spoon and food, but a piece goes flying and lands right on Y/N’s white shirt getting sauce stains on it. 

She looks down slowly and coldly, and in Ace’s personal opinion, seems like she is going to beat the living shit out of him. She looks back up and focuses her eyes away from Ace.

Ace’s eyes widen and he stiffens immediately, “Oh- um- sorry…” he cringes at himself.

She ignores his apology and takes a napkin to try to wipe off the stain, she finally looks back up at him and glares, grabbing a sauce packet and slowly opening it.

Oblivious to the action, Ace turns and points at her sheepishly while facing the camera, trying to explain. “I didn’t mean-“ A spray of sauce goes flying at Ace’s shirt as he gasps and faces her defensively. “I said I was sorry!”

“Good for you. I’m not.” 

-

Y/N L/N, 17:  What was I gonna do? We are just too different.

-

Y/N and Ace were forced to be recorded attending a gym class, normally Ace’s forte. However, Y/N was set on using him as a human shield instead of playing normally.

She moved him while trying to avoid the ball, causing Ace to get hit and very uncharacteristically fall to the ground. Y/N taking this opportunity to tilt his head the direction of the ball and get him hit in the face instead of the side of his head had he just stayed there.

She stands up again and Ace pulls away facing her in anger, “HEY WHAT THE F-“

Y/N quickly turns him around to the direction of the ball, still unnecessary given he would have still blocked it with the back of his head, Ace realizes and quickly ducks down.

The ball approaches quickly while Y/N is still in that same spot.

The ball smacks her right smack dab in the middle of the face, knocking her down not from momentum of the throw, but the shock and late reflexes making her fall back much easier than normal.

Ace flips his head around, realizing late, “PFFT- uh- you alright there?” He smiles and lends a hand while Y/N grabs his arm and digs her nails into his wrist in cold blood.

-

Y/N L/N, 17: He acts like a child.

-

Ace lies down on a bench looking up at trees that have light partially peeking through. Like a glimpse of heaven or an artwork showing how nature can work in harmony to form a single piece.

He talks to the camera crew facing a camera up at him from above, “One of the things I love doing the most is lying in the shade, with the sun peeking down on me through the trees.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Y/N interrupts Ace’s filming standing up over him, “Finish that book so you can return it.”

Ace smiles and examines the book, reaching out with it to give to her, as she reaches for it snatching it away with a shit eating grin to put it under his head as a pillow and sighs, “Wow… this is great.”

Y/N fumes and snatches both of the books from under Ace and lets his head hit the hard wood of the bench.

-

Y/N L/N, 17:  To top it off he’s lazy.

-

Students sit in an eerily quiet classroom, pencils marking away at workbooks, the only sound being Ace’s giggling at his phone out texting some of his friends from Whitebeard’s Resort where he works for the summer.

The students glare over at Ace, not one saying a word, settling for silent annoyance. Y/N grows tired and snatches the phone right out of his hand and shoves it in her backpack.

Ace stands up in shock and disbelief, the sound of the clanking chair alarming Mr. Mihawk.

“What was that?” He enters back into the classroom from the conversation he was having with Shanks, probably escaping it honestly, “ACE! You AGAIN?! I thought I told you all to be quiet.” He sighs and rubs his temples.

Ace glares over at Y/N who gives him a fake confused look and innocently smiles.

-

Portgas D. Ace, 17:  Things are already exhausting and she has a knack for making them even worse. Y/N L/N, 17:  To sum it up, Portgas D. Ace is pathetic.

-

"Sorry, what was that last question?" Ace asks Dragon in an isolated room, Y/N sitting two feet to his right.

"How about why can't you pay attention?" She crosses her arms and shoots him a pointed glare.

"Right..." Dragon sighs, "I'm gonna restart the recording now, if we can just get this segment done."

Portgas D Ace: Things I hate? *He smiles* Y/N L/N. She’s some weird girl I know.

Y/N L/N: *Facing him* I hate pathetic things. I despise people who are hopelessly pathetic the most. Portgas D. Ace: *Inconspicuously pointing at her* And being selfish! I hate selfish people who only-

Y/N L/N:  People who cause trouble for others! If you want to fail, fail on your own. Why do the rest of us have to go with you? Portgas D. Ace:  People who are super harsh, and speak without thinking. To me those people are super rude. Y/N L/N:  Look at who is talking. He needs to look in a mirror because he doesn’t think at all.

Portgas D. Ace:  He?! Me??? Y/N L/N:  You started it by bitching at me first! Portgas D. Ace: Ugh. Are you done talking? Y/N: Not yet because I’m obviously still talking. Ace: Why did you guys want me to film this again? Y/N: Because it’s a documentary filming the best student helping the worst. Correct? Ace: Ohhhhh… I see… you’re seeing how long normal people can endure anti-social ones. Experiments like this are just unethical. Y/N: Oh I’m sorry… from the title BEST and WORST student who would you think is more antisocial?

Ace: People like her exhaust everyone around them as soon as they enter society. Y/N: Someone like you wouldn’t even be able to enter society so how would you know that? Dragon: Alright… um… here’s a DIFFERENT question: what do you think you’ll both be doing after ten years?

*Silence* Ace: Let’s see… I’ll be 27 by then… Y/N: Whatever it is, I’m hopeful and pretty sure that I will be good at whatever it is I’m doing. Ace:  Ummmmm… I guess I wanna live an adventurous life without being too tied down. Y/N: I’ll lead groups of people in my company and have an active and fulfilling life, a successful one. Ace: I want a free and open life Ace and Y/N: With one thing for sure- Y/N:  I’ll have nothing to do with the pathetic person next to me. Ace: *Scoff*  That’s how I feel.

Dragon shuts off his camera and exits the room with Ivankov waiting outside, "Maybe I've gotten myself into more trouble than it's worth."

"Oh it'll be fine... They'll learn something and become better people by the end of it." They smile.

"I suppose you'r-" He's interrupted by the sound of clanking chairs and incoherent yelling.

"Or maybe they'll kill each other before filming is over and this will be for nothing" Ivankov pats Dragon on the back and take off.

[seonghwaddict]

Hii

Im sad that nsn will be discontinued but i totally understands how it is for you. Im glad you are doing whats better for you, take care!!

Also, could you give the whole big spoilers pls?? Like the ending and the climax of the story and anything you wanna share cuz ill try to complete it in my head lmao

hii thanks for understanding, and of course i’ll share some stuff with you!

i’m not sure where exactly to start, but i suppose you’re probably wondering how yn finds out about the whole vampire thing, so that’s where i’ll start..

basically, you know how san has blood intolerance and specifically needs type O negative blood? yeah so there’s a shortage at some point and he doesn’t have access to it. over time he gets sicker and sicker but he’s afraid of telling the guys that he’s running out of his personal stash; he doesn’t wanna worry them. of course, once it’s too bad they obviously notice and he confesses it. whole of the guys travel around to look for blood bags, while the other ones stay and take care of san.

obv, yn has no idea what’s going on so she’s both worried and just like ??? through some connections, yeosang is able to access medical files of people that attend their uni (he paid a shit load of money he’s standing on business fr) and starts looking for people with that blood type, just in case. he just so happens to stumble across yn’s file in his search, who has exactly what they need.

after a conversation with the guys, they decide to admit to what they are. when the conversation comes around, yn kinda giggles and thinks it’s a joke, however after a long conversation, she’s convinced. and so after hearing about san’s state and what he needs to get better, she doesn’t have to think twice about offering herself.

anyways san gets better after that and the guys n yn grow closer than ever.

as for the climax

her friend, daniel, is also a vampy and is lowk obsessed with her but has been able to hide it alarmingly well. when he notices just how close she is to the guys, he tries his hardest to tuin their relationship and even kidnaps her (that might not be right because idk if it counts as kidnapping but i can’t think of a better word rn).

after like two days the guys realise they hadn’t heard from their fav girl in too long so some of them head to her apartment to check on her except she’s not there cuz she’s in a random cabin in the middle of a random forest with daniel.

throughout her stay there, while the guys are splitting themselves in half tryna find her, she grows more and more uneasy and tries to leave. daniel refuses to let her go and chains her up.

meanwhile, the guys interrogate her other friends to figure out where they could’ve possibly gone (they’ve alway smelled something fishy about daniel so it wasn’t hard to figure out who was responsible for her disappearance). sangmi mentions the cabin their little group goes to on some weekends, and then they’re immediately speeding to get there.

they kill daniel and save yn yay!

you’re probably also wondering how their romance ends up so..

obviously as time progresses, they all slowly but surely fall in love with yn and vice versa. for hongjoong tho, he was in denial for a long time. after the saved her he realised wow i rlly fucking like this girl and that scared him so he subconsciously distanced himself. he was partially afraid of losing her again bc he blames himself heavily for what happened to her and the trauma it cause for… certain reasons…

everyone caught on but the guys were aware of why but yn wasn’t cuz she’s a bit oblivious so one day she finds him in his room and decides to just ask what’s going on cuz she finally got him to look at her for the first time in like two weeks. she was afraid he was mad at her, and prepared herself for the worst, but then comes his 10 minute monologue confessing everything he feels and mentioning that the others feel the same way.

he’s crying but the end of his monologue and she can’t think of anything else to do but kiss him. anyways it’s a rlly cute scene i actually wrote it already cuz i was so excited for it.

and then after that they all gather to talk abt the elephant in the room and after a brief discussion they’re all dating and they live happily ever after.

[max-nico]

Sonic World Building Headcanons

For the soul

Any fic of mine that you read uses all or almost all of these Headcanons btw

Covering your hands and feet is the equivalent of covering yourself for decency. It's taboo to talk about what someone's hands look like if you've seen them before

Fingerless gloves give the same vibe as micro skirts and sheer tops with nothing underneath

All (or at least most) Mobians/anthropomorphic animals start off showing a lot more animalistic traits. For example, young children might sniff each other in greeting or get territorial over their bedroom or house

Children who go to school get taught to use their "grown up instincts" and essentially get trained to be "normal"

There are Mobians who are outliers of course, Knuckles for example grew up secluded on a floating island. Over the years he's learned how to fit in better with the general populace but he still comes off as very naive, or not mentally developed (I probably should just say what autistic look like to neurotypicals huh)

Shadow would be an even more extreme example since he's literally an alien

Because of this, kids aren't allowed to move up a grade if they're smart enough to test out, like Tails. If they did that, they would miss crucial developmental skills specifically targeted toward their instincts

Different types of Mobians need different types of diets. For example, spider Mobians can't have mint period. Whether artificial or real. Unless they had been fed little bits of mint at a young age to build up the immunity by the time they reach adulthood

In the comforts of their own home most Mobians fall back on their animalistic traits. Like cat types purring in the sunlight or bird types preening their feathers

It's rude to refer to people as their species. Not like, super offensive, just rude. (Ex. Shadow refers to Sonic as "hedgehog")

Most Mobians aren't one type of animal, most are mixed between two or more. For example, someone mixed with a jackal and a raccoon. Which one they get referred to depends first on appearance, so sometimes children don't get classified until three or four. If they truly look like a 50/50 split between the two species then they get DNA testing done and are referred to as whichever one is higher

The village Tails comes from is a small village completely comprised of Mobians from the canidae family, small villages being completely one animal family is regular, but cities being this way is unheard-of

Sonic is a famous hero and does have a heavily filled bank account. Not because he asked of course, but because of public outrage when he off handedly mentioned he doesn't get paid for saving the world

Off topic, but Tails manages the bank account because he uses the most of the money. Inventions aren't cheap. Any bills they have are on auto pay so they don't worry about them.

Most Mobians are left handed

Okay, I don't really like humans in the Sonic world. If I had my way the Robotniks would be robins, Maria would be a mixture of hedgehog and bird in a way that's off putting to Mobians but we would think looks cool, that being said she'd be classified as a hedgehog

Anyway, this is not the case and humans do exist. In my head there're three different planets, one with humans, one with Mobians, and one with humans + Mobians

That being said, I think space travel isn't a super regular thing for Mobians to do but it's not unheard of. It's probably just super expensive if anything

Aliens are still fucking crazy to them tho

Some companies/governments (like GUN) span across two or more planets

There's generally a lot of animosity between Mobians and humans but in like a modern day racism (specism??) way and it is not the Mobians fault

Money also works differently Mobians (don't ask me how it works tho I got no fucking clue man), and a lot of the time Mobians just exchange favors for favors

Character Headcanons pertaining to world building

Reiterating: Sonic is famous and gets money transferred to his(read Tails') bank account. Tails village is full of dingos, foxes, jackals, wolves, coyotes, even some dogs.

Most of Sonic's friends are pretty loaded tbh. Obviously team rose, team dark, and team Sonic make the most money, but you know.. details

Very few things tip people off to Shadow being an alien. Like yeah he has canines but he might just be mixed species? He's right handed but some people just are so that's normal. Yeah he might hiss in public but you don't know his life. Maybe he can't control it.

I headcanon Amy as a hedgehog/echidna mix, but she simply looks more like a hedgehog in the face and body, but her quills are what really give her mixed heritage away (I am projecting)

Depending on which continuity you're looking at, Sonic was taught to control his instincts either from an orphanage, his uncle, his mom, or some secret 4 thing I'm forgetting.

He doesn't teach Tails about the whole instincts thing, but Tails has always been in a rush to grow up. He's smart and observant, he's the king of repressing them instead of learning at a slow and more natural pace that won't hurt him in the long run

Cream and Amy are the most socially competent by a longshot. Rouge could be if she, first of all, didn't spend so much time with Shadow and Omega, and also didn't find it funny to act like she does.

Okay, that's it for now. If I think of more I'll reblog the post with another headcanon, otherwise please add your own. I love headcanons, please let me add them to my arsenal. You're welcome to message me or go to my asks box as well as long as your nicest to me <3

I'm eventually going to do a post detailing what I think social media is like in the Sonic world.

If you have any headcanons put them in the tags, reply, or my ask box ! Any character you want me to focus on ? Message me, or hit my ask box ! Suggestions are always welcome .

[aimwigs]

hey I've been listening to the yard for about a year and a half and I want to get more into it ifywim do I just start watching old vods to catch up or is there any content u can recommend as a baseline must-watch

this is by no means a comprehensive list because i've only really been watching the yard since dec 2022 and my 2021 stint in lud viewing was brief and casual (didn't know what i had) but it is a fucking long list so i'll keep it under the cut. included stuff that maybe i wouldn't classify as a must watch but i wanted to include it so you can pick and choose what interests you

PODCASTS - I know for a fact there are other podcast appearances out there that I don't know of but here are a few:

the yard x wine about it - it's just the four of them and qt which means good times! this is an essential imo

there are a few eps of fear& that they appear on! specifically rec the ep with nick and aiden and the ep with ludwig and aiden. there are also a few eps with ludwig and slime (not at the same time) if you're interested in those

i've watched aiden on three different interview podcasts all are worth a watch to me: karat interview, across the bar, and good griefed (audio a little scuffed on this one but it's cute)

fucking loved nick's ep of across the bar because his outlook on creativity is super relatable to me. he also did something with safety third that i've been meaning to watch but haven't yet!

VIDEOS AND STREAMS - there's a lot here but i'll try to describe what's what

mogul money ft the yard - this is the full vod, there's also a cut down video. extremely fun watch

nick was also on mogul money live (first game specifically) and he and aiden appear in the bts video a little bit

qt posted vlogs from italy! they're all fun watches and there's some good moments. one, two, three, four

qt and aiden halloween gingerbread house video. ludwig and aiden kiss in this one. i think the full vod is in god's hands unfortunately

qt and aiden make shit in an ezbake oven and make the guys eat it. fun little video. idk if the vod is out there somewhere or not

there's a cut down version of this too but the full stream of qt having all the guys do a gingerbread house competition is very peak

lud did a shit load of taste test videos with the guys for a slim jim sponsor. this might not be all of them but here are the ones i cold find off rip (fruit, cheese, chocolate, water, steak)

ludwig has done a shitload of ylyl streams with slime that you can find and honestly i have a horrible mediashare allergy so i haven't watched a lot of them but i have watched the one they did with aiden and the one with everyone but idk where the full vod is for the latter

from ludwig's fortnite mondays, there was a week where slime and nick played with jerma and sapnap. idk if any of the others posted the vod but here's sapnap's

the subathon has a shitload of stuff that i can't even begin to link but if you want the experience of the dcom series without subbing to tier 2 they watched the truman show starting about an hour thirty into this vod, tho it takes a hot minute to get everything lined up with the time stamps

halloween po unboxing where them + qt dress up as characters from scooby doo. nick looks frankly obscene as velma this is a great vod

how many flashlights does it take to cook an egg is exactly what it sounds like. it's lud slime and nick ft a little bit of yingo

they play the family feud game together in these two vods: just them and against miz/otk (can't stand miz but it was still good)

RECENT STUFF - aka stuff you probably know about or have seen because you've been around a year and a half but i figured i'd include them anyway since they happened off the pod

two months ago they all played fortnite on lud's stream and it was awesome

both the show matches of the ludwig tarik invitationals are worth watching if you're into valo! the first one is team mogul v otv and they're split up in the second. if the timestamps are broken it's 2h30 in both vods

the rivals 2 tournament is fun! i don't understand shit about fighting games but i love to see the boys play

cdawgva ski vod with lud and aiden from the japan trip! there's also a cut down version of youtube but i found it a fun watch

recency bias alert: they all played in creator dodgeball

the qt and aiden winter cocktail tierlist stream was so good like genuinely a stream of all time to me. ludwig hangs around for parts of it

the yard doing the dougdoug fast food challenge is a MUST WATCH! they celebrate and they suffer what could be more beautiful

otv's fear pong video with them is so fucking good. SO GOOD!

and finally i guess i should mention beerio because it just happened LOL

[vaguely-concerned]

A Stitch In Time First Read Reactions & Thoughts Monster Post Part 1

Basically exactly what it says on the tin! I kept making notes while I was reading and somehow it grew into this sprawling monstrosity that had to be split into three parts haha. In short: I loved this book, 10/10 incredibly gay and full of yearning Garak is there the whole time would recommend. 

Quotes from the book in normal text, my reflections, reactions and self-indulgent bits in italics :) Please, please only click on that read-more if you're ready for some truly long-winded nonsense, I fear I have gone and been extremely myself about this and I can only beg your forbearance for it while I get it out of my system lol

Part 2, Part 3

- My dear Doctor:

Forgive my delay in responding to your kind communications. I wanted to give this modest chronicle I’ve enclosed a modicum of organization and update it before I sent it on to you. Thank you for your concern. I have thought of you often since our last meeting, and I am pleased to hear that your life on Deep Space 9 remains challenging and productive. Considering all the changes that have taken place I would have expected nothing less. And I’m certainly not surprised that your research proposals have been accepted. You’re a brilliant young scientist—even if you are genetically enhanced. As for my life here …

This is such a deceptively innocuous and normal-sounding beginning to what is about to be an extremely unnormal and unhinged thing to send a friend as a letter. He made it all of one paragraph of keeping it chill and I honestly think that’s pretty impressive all things considered. Thankfully Julian Bashir — who, let’s not forget, gave Jadzia his fucking diaries to read after much shorter acquaintanceship than what what we’re operating on here — is possibly the one person in the galaxy with the unhinged energy to take it.  

(‘I have thought of you often’ he says. And how., as we shall see)

- Yes—I’m afraid you weren’t expecting this response to your kind inquiry; it goes a bit further than “Greetings from Cardassia—Wish you were here.”

Fhksjdfhasdkj well. In spirit that is exactly what you’re saying tho garak fhdskjaas. It’s just that you’re also pathologically incapable of shutting the hell up and for this I love and treasure you. 

- So why Captain Sisko is so upset with me because I accomplished the goal (which he established!) of getting Romulus into the war against the Dominion baffles me. And it’s not because of the few lives that were sacrificed. Federation expansion has taken a toll in countless life-forms—about most of which they are blissfully unaware. The moment you step into a garden and begin to cultivate and prune, you become a killer. Perhaps the captain was upset because he had hesitated to do what was necessary to insure the integrity of his garden. Sentimentality is another trait that makes humans dangerous.

*Garak voice* Julian please tell me why your boss is so mad at me I literally solved all his problems for him. for which he’s wELCOME btw

Eyes open for recurring metaphors about gardeners, Tolan is haunting this narrative and it’s only polite to say hello whenever he shows up

- Indulge me, if you will; I need you as a witness.

Can I just say how fucking wild it is in terms of character development for Garak to openly admit he needs someone interpersonally. Incredibly fucked up that he writes both parts of this directly to Julian, though — both the part where he’s pretty sure he’s going to die trying to free Cardassia from the Dominion, and the ‘now’ timeline on post-war Cardassia where he seems to be dazedly coming to the realization that he might live, actually, and what that means to him. 

- As a child I would go to the Tarlak Sector with Father, and while he supervised his crews I’d play by myself amid the black-and-white angularity of the monuments, imagining myself a great gul or legate giving the funeral oration for a fallen comrade. 

Already we are starting to spot the thread, if you’ll excuse the expression, of why Garak might be Like That

I also came to admire Damar’s idealism, which led him to renounce his allegiance to the Dominion. If he had one weakness it was his propensity for long-winded speeches. But given the fact that none of us are perfect, the man would have made a fine leader.

As I stood at the memorial service, I thought about all the grand affairs I had witnessed here when I was a boy. None of our famed heroes and statesmen has ever had such a humble service—and none of them, from Tret Akleen on, deserved more than Corat Damar.

You are a species of long-winded speakers and Pythas Lok 

- Dr. Parmak, the unit leader, worked furiously to stabilize the little girl, and when she was evacuated by the transport unit he broke down. He’s a very good man, this Dr. Parmak; he reminds me of an older version of you, Doctor. 

Introducing Dr. Kelas Parmak, last seen in the then-noodle incident mentioned in The Die is Cast. Quite possibly the chillest person who has ever lived, considering he gets over the whole thing where Garak like tortured him pretty fast. (To be fair Garak DID say he was sorry. Between this case and Odo’s, that apparently goes a surprisingly long way lol) 

- But Garak, you’ll say, there’s no excuse for killing a defenseless woman. And there isn’t… unless you’ve been brought up in our system.

I love that he keeps a little Julian around in his head to talk to at all times. That’s one of the most freakishly intimate things in this whole book of freakish intimacy. Garak has a little Tain on one shoulder and a little Julian on the other shoulder and they have heated debates as to the validity of murder as a solution to any given problem that’s put before him

- I also thought about this Cardassian sense of duty and how it is largely responsible for bringing those of us who are left to these current circumstances. I asked Dr. Parmak how an entire people can come under the sway of this duty and blindly give allegiance to a state that goes mad and murders its own children.

“Poisonous pedagogy, Elim,” he replied. “We believe what we are taught.”

Poison/Disease contagion is a metaphor that will wind through this whole thing,and different people mean different things by it. Parmak means it about The Facism, which is the right one. You’ll be unsurprised to hear that Dukat Sr. has a rather different spin on it, and that he’s wrong! 

- But Tain at home was anything but mysterious. It was not unusual for Uncle Enabran to appear and take me away on some excursion that involved a long walk through a section of the city. During these walks he’d test my awareness, and challenge me to describe a house or a person we’d just passed. If I hadn’t been paying attention and couldn’t remember the details, the walk was over and we’d silently return home under the oppressive weight of his disapproval. He also seemed to know how I was performing at school, and if he wasn’t satisfied with my progress or behavior he’d punish me. I was a hard worker but I had a mischievous streak, and I enjoyed getting others involved in questionable activities and arranging it so they were found out and took the blame. On those rare occasions when I was caught, Tain would somehow find out and punish me—not for my misdeed, but for having been caught. And after he discovered my fear of small, dark spaces, his favorite punishment became keeping me in one until I had convinced him that I had analyzed and fully understood how my mischievous scheme had gone wrong. I found it odd that Mother and Father never had anything to say about these punishments.

. . . 

At first I thought I was in trouble, and my face must have reflected this fear because Father attempted to reassure me with a forced smile. But the uncharacteristic falsity of his behavior and his barely concealed agitation only made the situation worse. I had never seen him like this. Mother’s face was a mask; it revealed nothing. She spoke as if I needed to clean off the day’s work before we ate.

Garak treats him and Bashir ‘drifting apart’ the same way he describes his young self being trained by Tain to go over his ‘mistakes’ — what did I do wrong? You also see it (almost most heartbreakingly to me) from Tolan when he gets sharper out of worry at the end of the scene where the agent comes to take Garak away to the Bamarren Institute: 

I was stunned. I wanted to ask more, I wanted to ask about the dedication ceremony that afternoon, but I didn’t dare. Father had that look when one of the workers didn’t get it right the first time. But what had I done wrong? 

Oh buddy. He’s so fucking confused. The only thing you’ve done wrong yet is having been born with some connection to Enabran Tain, Elim, I’m so sorry

- We were the “missing pieces”—and in order to find our place in the mosaic of civilized society, we had to be broken down and reconstructed from the bottom up.

Keep your eyes open for ‘broken down and reconstructed’ too, it will be on the final test lol

- The good captain gave me one of his bemused stares.

Sisko ILU. He’s not in this book a lot so I’ll take the chance to say it here, because I do. 

- It was explained to us that until we became disciplined in our relations with the “complementary gender” we would make better progress this way. When I asked One Tarnal how we would learn this discipline without interaction between the sexes, he blinked and mumbled something about “distractions.” When I asked what that meant I was told that I had a loose mouth and given five days of hygiene-chamber maintenance as punishment.

“You don’t know enough to ask so many questions.”

Elim 'Genuinely & Guilelessly Too Deeply Pansexual To Be Able To Follow This Logic’ Garak

- Pythas/Eight descriptions because this is a bad mutual crush situation: 

- Unfortunately, the only student left was quiet Eight Lubak, who kept completely to himself. He agreed to accompany me and quickly moved to the door. He was short and slender, and his dark eyes and long lashes made him look younger than the rest of us. He was almost too delicate for a Cardassian. I was not encouraged … but I had no choice.

‘Dark eyes and long lashes’ huh lol

I started to follow him, but he made it clear that I should stay where I was and wait. All during this, Eight was quiet and controlled—and as sure of himself as if he’d done this many times. How did he know where he was going?

. . .

His face was dark, intense with concentration; his brow ridges, which were unusually pronounced, cast shadows over his eyes. My heart began to pound when I realized what Eight was planning. These were certain to be older students, but he expressed no hesitation, no doubt.

. . .

I didn’t know then if I could ever call Eight a friend. Something about him was strange and impenetrable. But it didn’t matter. At least I knew there was one person in my section I could trust. How I had misjudged him. It was obvious that Eight had what Cardassians call a ferocious spirit—and that I could learn a great deal from him.

. . .

Eight also came from a “service” family background, and it was soon clear to everyone that he should have been designated One Lubak, a fact not lost on the actual holder of that designation who, judging from his behavior and speech, came from the highest echelons of our society.

. . .

Five was an athlete who also did well in class. I could see that he was attracted to Eight. As indeed I was. 

Big round of applause for Andrew Robinson managing to sneak the skywritten subtext into the text like this, it’s an exceedingly rare gift to get to have from the media of this time 

. . .

But by then the group had passed. What murk? Me? Have all the others been captured? Surely not Eight. I couldn’t believe that was possible.

. . .

The only member of my group who performed as well in all areas was the taciturn Eight.

. . .

The truth, of course, was that I didn’t know how to forge those kinds of bonds. I wanted to be closer to Eight, and to a lesser degree Five, who besides being one of the great Pit strategists Bamarren ever had was fair in all his dealings.

. . .

Eight remained for a few more minutes. I had the feeling that he wanted to say something more to me. Suddenly he turned and disappeared behind a barrier. The air was filled with whatever went unsaid. He was as shy as anyone I had ever known.

The boys are being useless lesbians at each other omg……… what must this whole mess look like from Pythas’ POV tho. He’s been keeping an eye on his friend/crush so he doesn’t get himself killed by running his mouth off too much to the wrong person and before he knows it the guy is embroiled in an inadvisable bisexual sandwich of betrayal and savage intrigue. I wonder if anything would have been different if Garak and Pythas had managed to actually talk to each other here.   

- Eight was the only person who deserved number One as much as I did—maybe more. My solitary behavior was not always in service to the group. Eight and I exchanged encouraging looks. The support of my one constant friend was all I wanted. I sat there and shut out everything else.

*Garak whenever someone prefers Pythas over him* understandable honestly I’d do the same thing he’s the best have a nice day

End Pythas/Eight teen crush corner

- My mind wandered. I was sure that I heard sounds of the women students gusting with the winds. Suddenly mother materialized … she looked like she was apologizing. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her, but her image dissolved and … Father took her place. I knew he was telling me something very important, but I was growing dizzy and afraid that I’d join Six on the ground … his words were carried away by the winds.

Suffering and agony

Some assorted 'Just assure me that I'm not going mad, Doctor'/Garak's ever-tenuous grip on his mental health moments:

-I don’t know why I wasn’t surprised that he knew. Instead, I was grateful; it told me I wasn’t going mad.

A recurring worry for him I’m sure it means nothing! I feel the same fellowship with him as I do with Harrow in The Locked Tomb series, which I’m sure says even less, don’t worry about it.  

And how do we even begin to rebuild a world that doesn’t exist anymore? A world that exists in my mind with the same arid bitterness as the dust in my mouth. I have never lived with despair, Doctor, the way I live with it now. It’s almost like a phantom companion that shadows me and casts doubt on whatever I do.

“Why save him?” it asks, as we remove a young boy from the rubble of a school. “You’re only keeping him alive for a future of privation and chaos. Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to join the burial unit?”

I want to scream at this phantom, to shut it up. Once I turned around suddenly and raised my hand to strike it. When I realized it wasn’t there, it was too late. Everyone in the unit was looking at me; I’m sure I must have looked like a madman. Dr. Parmak tried to send me home, but I refused—alone it’s even worse.

I’m just imagining Julian arriving on Cardassia like ‘hey yeah I got your letter and we should fuck about it right now but first of all have you told Parmak you’ve been having vivid hallucinations again because that’s very relevant medical information Garak!!!’ 

- But it was in the Pit and my work with Calyx that I suffered the most. My dreaming made me “an air man.”

“You have no grip, no focus. How can you find your strength if you can’t hold your place? Living in your dreams is like living in exile.”

*whisper* pls don't...

- As I tried to put faces on the shadowy children, they began to approach me. They became more distinct as they moved through the rain and haze. Can you believe it, Doctor? They weren’t my schoolmates; they were the Cardassian orphans from the Resettlement Center on Bajor we once visited. The orphans left after the Cardassian occupation forces withdrew. The same young girl was their leader and her lips formed the same question.

Have you come to take us home?

I jumped up. I felt the shed closing in, threatening to swallow me. I ran out into the rain and gloom.

“There is no home anymore! Can’t you see that? Look around you! It’s gone!” I screamed at them and fell to my knees in the sodden waste. They continued to stare back with that same look of fragile trust that I would somehow relieve them of their fear and bring them home. I couldn’t look at them anymore and dropped down into the muck. My despair was no longer just a voice; it was this monstrous world the evil had created, and it surrounded and overwhelmed me.

I don’t know how long I remained curled up in the mud. I felt myself being lifted and half carried, half dragged back into my shed. It was Dr. Parmak. He cleaned and changed me as best he could. He prepared a cup of Tarkalean tea, which made me think of you, Doctor. How ironic, another doctor pulls old Elim out of the muck of his despair, but this time he’s a Cardassian.

The fact that in the episode itself, Garak (in a haze of endorphins and practiced dissociation) is barely like ‘yes yes I’m sure we’re ALL very upset about the orphans. Or whatever. Well what do you want me to do about it Doctor it’s just the way of the world’ and then it just haunts him horrifically for the rest of his life forever and ever the end! Very on brand.  

Garak does seem to genuinely like and care for children in general, which makes my heart all weird and sad

Also Parmak making Tarkalean tea and Garak being like ‘oh. Like Julian :’(‘ about it my HEART. The fact that he’s a serial befriender of very patient kindhearted doctors willing to put up with his nonsense is probably the only reason he’s still alive lol. Thank u Parmak

- A difficult move under pressure against strong physical resistance from an opponent … and something would snap. A painful blow might set it off, a whispered insult, perhaps just a thought or a feeling of hopelessness, and I would suddenly lose control and lash out like a madman. I became suffused with a raging, crimson anger that poured out from some black hole somewhere deep inside me.

I feel like we see the outlines of this still in him by the time of the show — more tucked away and harnessed, but definitely still there. He’s got an instinctive Fight response a mile wide, it’s just that these days he mostly expresses it by becoming incredibly fucking MEAN when he feels threatened rather than outright physical attack. 

- And there was a soothing quality as it spoke of dry legal definitions. It acted as a balm for my bruises and bitterness. I began to feel such longings. It was like hearing music that you love when you least expect it. How I missed Mother, and working with Father in the flower beds. How I longed for home. I dropped my guard and surrendered to the voice. The tears I was determined never to shed accompanied choking waves of shame and relief, sadness and joy. I finally was able to admit to myself how unhappy I was.

*me with my magnifying glass studying the Palandine/Bashir parallels* listening to Bashir talk about Federation nonsense things presumably fills much the same niche in Garak’s psyche as this haha

- “I assure you, I am not in the habit of attacking people I don’t know in public places. We got our feet tangled in the crush, and he went down—just as, moments before, I nearly wiped out the scent display when he ignored the fact that I was standing in his path. I trust he’s not hurt.”

“I expect more from you, Garak,” Odo lectured. “We’re all under a great deal of strain.”

“As am I, Constable. Please, sit down at least. I feel like a schoolboy being disciplined by the docent.”

Odo sighed and awkwardly perched on the barstool next to mine. 

Their dynamic is. Everything to me. Also we learn later that the guy Garak picks a fight with here because he’s upset Julian is hanging out with Miles (lmao oh… buddy) isn’t just anyone or on impulse, but is one of the most hostile-to-Garaks Bajorans on the entire station with a small gang behind him, and Garak knows exactly who he is. Which lends it a certain… something. Almost an edge of very roundabout self-harm.  

“I can’t stay long. I have to finish dealing with this …”

“ … situation,” I finished. “You’re very fortunate, Odo.”

“How so?” he asked.

“These people have come to trust you. They rely upon you. You’ve made a real connection here.”

Odo merely grunted. I was careful not to mention Major Kira, knowing how reserved he was on the subject.

“Do you still want to go home?” I asked.

The question startled Odo, and for a moment the mask of official reserve dropped from his face. This was the first time I had brought up the subject since his admission to me during the “interrogation” in the Romulan warbird and Tain’s ill-fated attempt to destroy the Founders’ homeworld.

“ I … can’t say,” he replied ambiguously.

“Well, I can. There’s certainly nothing here to keep me.”

“I never told you how sorry I was about Ziyal’s death.” Odo could be quite sensitive in such matters.

“You did, actually,” I nodded. “But thank you.”

“Still, you and Dr. Bashir have created a strong bond.”

“Not really,” I answered quickly. “I’m afraid that what I have to offer has run its course. It’s certainly no match for darts.” I heard the bitterness of my tone, and so did Odo. We sat in silence for a moment.

“I understand you’ll be involved in the invasion. You must be pleased.” Odo steered us away from the heaviness that had descended.

. . . 

“When do you want to schedule your consultation?” I asked. Odo—no doubt influenced by his budding relationship with the Major—was about to branch out sartorially. But it occurred to me that Quark was the last person he wanted to know about it.

“We’ll talk,” he replied, nodding to Quark as he briskly marched back to the Promenade.

AHdorable all around. Hilarious that Odo picked up on trouble in human/lizard paradise and, with the vigor of a person who has freshly had love work out for them for the first time, going ‘not on my fucking watch you’ll talk to each other if it’s the last thing I do’. Also the sheer readiness with which he expects Julian to be Garak’s safe place. What on earth does this relationship look like to outside observers. Especially to Odo, practiced observer of humanoid folly, who completely nails Garak’s whole deal in Improbable Cause to the point that Garak lashes out defensively over it.   

- My solitary confinement was agony. The only way I got through it was to rethink all my attitudes about the Pit and the Wilderness and to focus on how I could make my stratagems more effective. Just as I had learned to do when Uncle Enabran locked me in that suffocating closet. Was this the universal torture for failure, I wondered?

Going through the whole book it is so stunningly awful that this IS the logic his inner world is shaped around for the vast majority of his life, right up until the ‘present’ part of the storyline where it’s being slowly deconstructed and reassembled. 

- I apologized to the others for disrupting their family; I explained that I had great need of this creature. Not only was Mila (as I eventually called him) the answer to my current problem, he was as important as any of the docents at Bamarren, with the possible exception of Calyx.

;_______________________________________________________________; there’s no part of this that isn’t crushing

Unlike the last time, I had preparation and an ally.

Tain really had to work at deadening Garak’s ability to form loyalty to anything else but him, because left to his own devices and natural instinct Garak will clearly packbond with ANYTHING. He’s so desperate to belong to someone and be loyal to them. 

- As the sun came up, the otherworldly beauty of the Wilderness was gradually revealed by each succeeding gradation of light. I was deeply moved by the presence of so much color in what had initially looked like a dead world to me. Beginning with a cold pale gray, the dawn flowed through a range of blues and into the softest rose and pink and then to a hot red that soon gave way to the merciless bleached bone-white of midday. I was able to see how much territory I had covered the previous night.

Can I just say how unspeakably tender it is that he takes the time to write this out in this. It serves literally no purpose in this narrative but sentiment — to be beautiful. He saw something beautiful once that moved him and he wants to share it with someone. What the fuck. 

- I became increasingly concerned; the sun was getting higher, and the overhanging ledge was now my last source of shade. At one point I took Mila out of his wrapping to check on his condition. At least that’s what I told myself. I was afraid that if I was honest and admitted that the real reason was to solicit help from a regnar, the slide into total insanity would be swift and sure. I was getting desperate.

The funniest and saddest thing I’ve ever read fhdskjfas emotional support regnar that he names after his fucking MUM hours. There are things going on with Garak no psychologist could ever hope to get to the bottom of 

- Three more members of the Furtan group were on the other side of the rock formation, but Mila had found a hidden depression that required some quiet digging to get into, and we avoided detection. We settled in and resealed the opening with sand and loose rocks. After an indeterminate period, the Furtan hunters left. As we waited for nightfall I fell into a deep sleep. 

BB!Elim and regnar Mila like ‘OUR secret hiding spot’. (Seeing how much garak both craves and thrives on getting to have that sense of ‘we’ and fellowship tho. And knowing that’s going to be not only deliberately kept from him but made psychologically impossible for him for a very long time. We should bring Tain back to life so we can kill him again and more painfully actually. Mercymorn acid jail for a thousand years time.)

- While I understood that I would have to watch my step with One Charaban, I also acknowledged that I had never been in a manlier or more attractive presence. It was like encountering an ideal that I’d only dreamed about. As I walked back to my section and accepted the congratulations of my mates, I was baffled not so much by the appearance of this new and commanding person in my life as by my recognition of his strong connection to me. But what connection?

Baby pansexual disaster at his finest

- The other day, the Doctor, Odo, and I were at the Replimat having lunch, an event that Odo, after our conversation, had taken it upon himself to organize.

. . . 

“But what about you, Doctor?” I asked, returning to the business at hand. “It seems there’s a movement afoot to have you replace Captain Sisko.” The doctor winced.

“Is this true?” Odo asked. We both looked to the doctor for confirmation. He sighed.

“There’s a group of … genetically enhanced people who feel that one of their own should be guiding the station during this emergency, and they’ve petitioned the Federation Council, but it’s Jack and his group, and no one takes them…” Exasperated, he broke off. “Garak, how did you hear about this?”

“My clientele talk and I listen.” This was also true: an idiot savant who wears his presumed genetic superiority like a badge of privilege walked into my shop and never stopped talking. Of course I encouraged him, and by the time he left I had heard all about some organized attempt to elevate Dr. Bashir to the leadership position. I could see that the doctor was upset that I’d divulged this information. Clearly this genetic business was not his favorite topic of conversation.

“Is this something we should keep an eye on?” Odo asked, studying us carefully.

“No, not at all,” the Doctor assured him. “It’s just Jack’s people. This was nearly a year ago, and I’m afraid they have too much time on their hands—like some other people I know.” He pointedly looked away from me as Odo continued to study us, trying to decode the undercurrent of this last exchange between us. No wonder he was such a capable security operative. Odo registered every change in tone and temperature and tracked the change down to its cause.

“Tell me something, Garak.” It was clear that he had found an opening for one of those deferred questions he kept on a prioritized list somewhere in his changeling head. He was still a basically shy and tactful person, especially when it came to other people’s business, but lately he’d become more openly inquisitive. I wondered if it was Major Kira’s influence.

Matchmaker/self-appointed and woefully under-equipped marriage counselor Odo……….you are Everything to me you dumb beige bitch. Garak goes a bit aggro in return when he tries to get too close to something tender but honestly odo buddy gooey friend of my heart maybe you shouldn’t barge into this particular glassware shop like a rampaging elephant huh someone’s going to get cut. Also Garak could have refrained from pressing on Julian’s bruises for attention here and we may not have had the rest of the scene, but alas. 

This must be the lunch where we deal with uncomfortable subjects.

“But if Cardassia is liberated from Dominion control …” Odo went on.

“When Cardassia is liberated,” I interrupted.

“Would you return?”

“Would you return to the Great Link?” Odo reacted with sharp annoyance to the question.It wasn’t a fair one, because although we were both exiles, we were in very different circumstances. With the humanoid shape he was still learning to live with, and his deepening relationship with Major Kira, Odo was discovering a new mode of existence, a new link. He had an alternative, however difficult the choice. I didn’t.

“Yes, I know. You can’t say.” I was sorry I had asked again. It was a question he was obviously struggling with.

The feeling Garak seems to have towards Odo in this period where like… you know when you have a friend who has a lot of the same mental health issues as you do and you see them get better and start to flourish and you are genuinely so happy for them but also feel just how deep in the muck you yourself still are with no prospect of getting out. And the way Garak consistently wistfully includes Odo’s romantic relationship to Kira when he observes how he’s coming out of his shell and why he has reasons to stay. 

“Would you return to the same Cardassia?” the doctor asked.

“What do you mean ‘same’?” But I knew perfectly well what he meant.

“To a Cardassia containing the political and social elements that made the current situation possible.”

“My dear Doctor, that’s also the Cardassia that made me possible.” I half-hoped my joke would end this conversation … but I knew better.

Julian baby please read the room and take this up some other time somewhere private maybe (and yet I understand how you wouldn’t think of that until later once Garak’s had a rare public freakout)

Absolutely heartbreaking in every way that garak seems so convinced he must have done something wrong or simply doesn’t have anything more of interest to offer julian and that’s why they’re drifting apart, when a just as likely reading from what’s actually on the page here is that julian feels he keeps getting it wrong and hesitates in case he makes the damage worse. Garak have you considered who this man is before you decided you must have fucked up and resigned yourself to the dark closet of self-isolation tain put in your head. I’m in shambles. 

Also Julian is saying a lot of very true things about Cardassia in this scene that Garak needs to hear and that he’s clearly processing all through the rest of his time on DS9 and beyond, as angry as it makes him, and the good doctor means so well but he IS being incredibly condescending, and he keeps pushing even as Garak is signaling he’d rather not go in depth on this, especially in such an exposed public setting. (This is a conversation they SHOULD be having in private, both for emotional reasons and b/c Garak’s position on this station is a lot more vulnerable than I think Julian realizes, as the hostile comments he immediately starts getting during this convo show.) I mean I guess it’s not this man’s fault he is fundamentally British and autistic what can a bitch do fdjslkfhasj (I say this with all the love in my fellow autistic heart, please do not misunderstand me here). But it’s a very Julian well-meaning but flawed thing to do — he’s focusing on the principle and intellectual side of it, but he’s not taking into account that just maybe having to deconstruct the entirety of your worldview and belief system and then feel responsible for implementing them to create a better world afterwards could be an emotionally fraught process that requires not only reasoned political debate but personal, emotional support from a friend. He isn’t getting that Garak isn’t so much categorically resistant to the basic ideas he’s setting forth — it’s that he wants to be convinced on a practical level that it could even work, because otherwise it’s just a useless pretty picture. 

(Which is a big part of their dynamic on many levels, I’ve always felt. All those times he challenges Julian’s more hopeful and idealistic world view — ultimately he doesn’t do that because he wants to break Julian’s faith down until he agrees with him, he does it because somewhere deep down Garak wants to be convinced. He wants there to be hope somewhere in the world, even if he won’t buy the quick and glorified ‘it’s easy to be a saint in paradise’ Federation version of it. And Julian’s version isn’t that, in the end; it gets tested again and again and he really, genuinely means it, even when it’s hard. Which is one of the most healing things about his presence in Garak’s life overall.) 

Ironically I also think Julian believes so much in Garak and his capabilities that it simply doesn’t occur to him that Garak as a private person might just be like. Too scared and overwhelmed to even contemplate this, at least until Garak is upset enough that he can’t gracefully hide it. (“With your background and experience, Garak, I’m certain that you could serve as a liaison between a new Cardassian government and the Federation.” The Doctor paused and waited for a response. None was forthcoming. “I once suggested that you visit Earth as a member of the Cardassian government-in-exile….” oh so no biggie then Julian that sounds easy and painless and I’m surprised no one has thought to do this yet, this Obsidian Order wilted leftover sandwich of a guy is surely going to be welcomed with open arms wherever he goes among his people fhsdakjfas!)

I feel like this is one of Julian’s less sympathetic traits that he would probably feel such intense self-loathing about once he realized it’s one he shares with his father — this instinct to try to shape someone into a ‘better’ version of themselves. I think Julian’s version of this primarily comes from a much, MUCH kinder place than in his father; he has the will and ability to see the best in the world and in people, and he can’t help but want them to live up to that once he’s seen it. He fundamentally believes people can be better, can be good, when given the help and tools they need, and that’s such a beautiful part of him. BUT along with that there is also a danger of that tipping over into becoming paternalistic and controlling, of overly privileging the ideal you see over the person who is actually there right now, and trying to forcibly change the one into the other ‘for them’.  

Considering Garak’s past experiences of being shaped and controlled by someone else’s idea of what he should be, I’m if anything surprised he doesn’t react worse to this, honestly! I think it speaks to the basic trust and goodness that exists between them that he doesn’t. Julian is clumsy but not malicious, and even here Garak does recognize that on some deep level.   

(Probably because he’s also been touched by Julian at his best, in The Wire — where his support and acceptance is absolute and unconditional, free of the instinct to control anything.)

My voice had risen to an uncharacteristic pitch. It was still ringing in my ears as the Doctor stared at me as if he were studying a baffling microbe. I, too, was baffled. I had no idea where this outburst came from. I know that a distance has widened between us during the past year or so and I know that the holosuite program incident and the revelations of his genetic enhancement are the symptoms of this distance rather than the cause. It’s only natural—we’re very different people. I also know that he had only the best intentions in suggesting that I use the Federation model in order to influence the future of Cardassia. Misguided, yes, and somewhat patronizing and arrogant, but hardly sufficient to elicit this embarrassing and public loss of control.

I mumbled some sad excuse which the good Doctor and Odo were kind enough not to challenge and left the Replimat to return to my shop. As I passed Quark’s I caught his eye and we nodded. Why I included him in my outburst also puzzled me; I rather admire his industry and resourcefulness. I especially admire the way he consistently bends Federation rules so that they work for him.

That’s such a fair evaluation of Bashir’s intentions and personality honestly. Even this upset and feeling that distance between them, Garak still has complete trust in the Doctor’s basic good intentions and nature. (Are you really such very different people at the end of the day, though, Elim. Should the genetic enhancement arc maybe be telling you something here.)

Also such a hilarious element of the Garak-Quark relationship.’Sorry to get you caught up in the crossfire bro I’ve never thought of you as anything but an avaricious opportunist (complimentary)’  

What is important is that I feel that I am necessary, that I function with all my faculties in the service of a greater cause. And while I wait for this invasion, is making Odo more attractive to Major Kira a greater cause?

It is in fact nothing but the greatest cause Garak. Getting Kira happily lovingly laid is priority one at all times. 

- I had no real friends to speak of, and told myself that loneliness was the price I had to pay for success. I considered the games and behavior of my mates to be childish, and that any unnecessary interaction would only distract me from my work. The truth, of course, was that I didn’t know how to forge those kinds of bonds. I wanted to be closer to Eight, and to a lesser degree Five, who besides being one of the great Pit strategists Bamarren ever had was fair in all his dealings.

(I feel like this whole part is going to hit Julian in some kind of way lmao)

Literally just. Put me in a little box on the bottom of the ocean and leave me there forever I can’t go on. Also he’s SUCH a clever-but-socially-inept teenager in this part around the people in his group he doesn’t like fhdkjsa. Ugh they’re all so annoying and fake just leave me alone *eyeroll emoji* I didn’t want to be included in their idiotic conversation bb elim… I would die for your lightly insufferable but entertainingly snarky teenage butt in a way that actually makes me feel more kindly towards my own inner idiot 16 year old.

Also it’s no wonder he’s so out to sea when it comes to interacting with his peers — by all accounts he didn’t play much with other kids as a child and then he’s dropped straight into a social Lord of the Flies piranha tank shot through with Class Shit. 

Inspired by my guide Mila, I would experiment at withdrawing my presence when I had to remain in the same room with people I didn’t like.

Honing his future customer service worker smile 

Here follow some Bamarren and beyond observations I’ve elected to call ‘Sex Stuff’:  

- Oh ok so garak gets some sexual Thing out of being beaten to a pulp after mouthing off through the same mechanism that made spanking known as the ‘English Vice’ across Europe when that was the go-to punishment in British boarding schools. I see. Many things are revealed to me

I looked from the pale, frozen face of Three to the others. They all looked like statues commemorating fear. And I was pleased. I realized at that moment that they were in my control, and that I would no longer have any trouble with them. Especially Three. I felt the power like a drug surging through my system.

And then, of course, the other side of the masochism/sadism scale smoothly coming in, he contains those multitudes. In Garak’s defense idk if you could go through a psychosexual development that wasn’t deeply, deeply weird in this sort of environment 

“What do you want me to do?” I was trembling as if my body were chilled.

Well, I mean. You know fhkdsjha. And he’s rewarded with the first non-aggressive physical contact he’s had here, you say. (For reference he’s talking to Barkan, of the aforementioned ‘manliest presence’.) I’m sure this didn’t awaken anything in him or anything.

“Elim, why do you think we have these ridges?” She stroked the scalloped cords of cartilege and bone that ran along her neck and down her shoulders with a delicacy that stopped my breath. The energy had turned into molten liquid that was now flowing into my groin. The rest of the world was swallowed by complete darkness and I was back inside the tunnel.

“Because … we do,” I replied stupidly.

Fhdjskfhsdjkfhadskjfhas he’s so easy fdsjkfhas. And what a one-two punch of sexual confusion he got there. That one afternoon did irreparable damage to the libidinous development of this poor man and now he has to live like this.

For the second time tonight I was spellbound by another’s passion. In very different ways, Charaban and Palandine held me in their orbit, like powerful suns.

I was learning something new about myself—an emerging desire for power, but a power that had less to do with mastery over others than it did with connecting to them. The way I felt the connection to Charaban … and especially to Palandine.

And, I’m so sorry to have to break it to you like this, your biodad. I’m sorry Elim you’ve got something truly unfortunately Freudian going on here. It’s not your fault.  

“I love the Blind Moon,” Charaban said softly.

“Why is it called that?” I asked, deeply relieved by the mysterious change that had come over us.

“It’s the time for lovers’ assignations,” Palandine answered. “The moon will give them enough light to meet, but not so much for them to be discovered.”

“So if you and Elim were true lovers I wouldn’t have been able to find you,” Charaban teased.

“That’s right, Barkan,” she said with a direct look. I shifted position in the ensuing silence and tried to hide my disappointment with Palandine’s reply, but at the same time, the pleasure I felt in the company of these two people kept growing.

“See?” Palandine suddenly addressed me. “You can do it.”

“What?” I was startled by her delighted burst.

“Smile. Look at that, Barkan. Wouldn’t you tell someone with that smile everything he wanted to know?” she demanded.

“The first time I met him—well, the second…” he corrected himself, “he had a smile that I wanted to wipe off his face.” He was referring to that early morning in front of the Central Gate.

“But it wasn’t that smile,” Palandine insisted.

“No,” he conceded. “Definitely not that one.” And the truth was that I could feel this smile throughout my entire body.

Noooo this is about to go so wrong…it’s all fun and games and bisexual poetry recitation under the blind moon until someone gets stabbed in the back like the Caesar (well caesar notably got stabbed from many many directions but you see what I’m trying to get at here)

- [The Klingon] looked up, and I immediately knew two things about him: he was inebriated beyond reason and he was one of their shock troopers, a callused veteran of hand-to-hand combat. I took a deep breath; as dolts go he was quite impressive. My spirits were suddenly and immeasurably lifted.

“You spoonhead!” he growled at me. I hated that word.

“And you … a great warrior who brings down dabo girls with a single blow,” He looked at me trying to decide if I had insulted or complimented him.

“P’tak!” I shouted, “I mean that you’re the biggest coward in the Klingon Empire,” He released the dabo girl, and as he moved to the narrow stairway I thought that he was also the biggest Klingon in the Empire.

I looked for my advantage. This was not an equal match, and my gigantic friend was in the full flush of a berserker blood lust. I sighed. I’m too old for this, I thought. 

. . .

“Get security, Chief, and tell them to prepare the biggest cell they have … or a smaller coffin for me,” I said as I moved into the alcove and squeezed through the opening where the panel had been. 

 Listen I would apologize for including this here but he’s clearly getting off on this and I couldn’t do anything about it if I wanted to. 

I cannot convey just how much my already intense enjoyment of canon is enriched by the knowledge that Garak is up to these kinds of hijinks constantly in the background when the camera isn’t on him. In his defense he was left unsupervised. O’Brien’s fond mildly exasperated help is just the cherry on top. ‘Well I GUESS Julian would be upset if I let you get beaten to death by a drunk Klingon so fine I’ve got your back’  

(I made for the upper Promenade—and wondered if Calyx might be enjoying this spectacle from wherever he was. ;______; I like how much of an impact Calyx has on his development, considering how briefly he was actually in his life. Plus: Calyx; the Aiglamene of Bamarren? Locked Tomb/DS9 fandom overlap people, Let’s Discuss.) 

“Help me,” he croaked. I was touched by the giant’s childlike surrender. I knew the feeling well.

“I will,” I replied and immediately wondered why I had agreed. I’m getting soft, I thought. 

The greatest joy to me of a lot of this is, like… idk if these are all exactly the things that happened at every turn. In fact I’d say they very likely aren’t, Garak’s entire character taken into consideration. But they are certainly the things he wants someone — someone he trusts as far as he knows how, someone he earnestly wants to be closer to than anyone else, and also wants to see all of him — to know about him, to share in. This could just have easily been a story he told Julian in person over lunch to make him laugh. It’s silly and frivolous and fun, and as much at his own expense as a ludicrous person as to show off. To a true lying liar who lies connoisseur, unreliable narration tells more than it obscures etc. lol  

- (About Barkan) It was the appearance of warmth that made his charm so attractive. A part of me wanted to tell him everything, to challenge the duplicity of his negative evaluation, but the clarity I found in the Lower Prefect’s office was still with me. Looking at him, I was reminded how Palandine had taught me to smile when I asked questions.

Apart from Pythas, who gets his own little twink corner, most of the people Garak is attracted to throughout this are his height or taller and slender but athletic. I’m just saying that when he spotted Julian in the Replimat for the first time he really saw a young man with the face of an angel who is exactly his type fhdjskah maybe he should have seen this coming for himself. Too high on endorphins and hubris to think this would awaken anything in him irrevocably and now he’s stuck with the consequences.  

Why? I asked myself. Why?! For the life of me I could not understand why it was important to her that I respond. Why should she—so beautiful, so alive—be disappointed if I didn’t return her … what? What did she want from me? Friendship? Why me?

I was in turmoil. Her grace and manner, the way she tilted her head and half smiled when she listened, as if everything amused her … it was like a forbidden dream of the unattainable. The attraction was painful because I instinctively knew that while my life would be simpler and more controllable without her, it would also be as drab as my Bamarren uniform.

. . . 

“Are you making fun of me?” It was at that moment, when I asked the question, that I realized just how afraid I was of being the object of her ridicule. She stopped laughing and for the first time she was speechless. 

Losing my entire fucking MIND about how Garak is basically taking Palandine’s place when he approaches Julian at first. Odo and Garak ‘I love you so much I want to become you because it’s the only way I can imagine really being close to you’ handshake meme

Sex stuff end. For now.

I was about to leave when Odo asked about the designs for his “new” sartorial look. I could see that he was masking his concern, so I assured him that the sketches were some of my finest creations, and would be ready within the week. He grunted his thanks and I stepped out onto the Promenade. Love does make fools of us all.

I’m clawing at my face with emotion. Odo… And Garak did finish those sketches even after his moment of existential ennui over them before. 

- Please for the love of god stop putting Six out in the merciless sun T_____T how many times must a poor lil nerd boy pass out before he can rest in the sand etc. 

- “It’s not every evening we find Barkan Lokar strolling with a murk through the Grounds.”

“Lokar? My father buried the Legate, Turat Lokar,” I said without thinking.

“Did your father kill him?” Palandine joked. But I didn’t laugh. The Lokars were a legendary family, and the old man’s funeral was the largest I had ever seen.

Why is this so funny. Garak you are so fucking weird. ‘Oh yeah I know that guy my dad did the flower arrangements for his funeral’ 

- A spirited dabo game involving several Klingons and a serious-looking dabo girl I hadn’t seen before caught my attention. If Quark had been present he’d be giving her one of his congeniality lectures. I truly sympathize with the young woman; if I had to spend all day with these drunken dolts….

Literally so hilarious that’s his first thought. First impulse: ‘surrounded by idiots’ solidarity. Garak what were you doing day drinking at the devil’s sacrament/quarks at midday girl…

- Rom soon appeared with a small container of kanar. He was wearing an outfit I had made for him.

“H-here you are, Garak. I hope you enjoy it.” Ever the gracious host.

“Thank you, Rom. And please, try not to let your collar lie there like a dead targ.” I adjusted the offending fabric, and Rom sweetly tolerated my fussing.

I’m fucking crying what the HELL. Surprise wholesome dynamic that keeps going through the whole narrative. Garak just uncomplicatedly likes and appreciates Rom, with no particular ulterior motive. Plus: fussing is also how we see Mila express affection, like mother like son.   

- I realized as I took a sip of my drink that I was in a dangerous mood. Drinking in the middle of the day. The Doctor would be quite disappointed with me. When I’m unable to immerse myself in work my mind becomes occupied by an invading army of thoughts intent upon conquering all equilibrium and peace. Kanar is a valuable if unreliable weapon I employ against this army. The pills the Doctor gives me are a poor substitute.

Julian, severely unimpressed: uh-huh

‘Would Julian want me to do this to myself? No. However he’s too busy playing soldiers with O’Brien to tell me so, apparently, so that can’t stop me.’ You petty lil bitch garak (affectionate)

The fact that he’s doing the The Little Julian Who Lives In My Head thing already here, where the real Julian is actually around but not engaged with him. I’m so sad. He’s managed to discover shrimp colour spectrums of loneliness and pining.  

- Ever since the Romulan business and Captain Sisko’s near breakdown (outside of the Doctor, whom I told shortly after the incident, no one knows about this, but one recognizes the symptoms), I’ve been obsessed with memories of Bamarren. 

The fact that he tells Julian about that. Presumably partly in a practical way to make sure Sisko doesn’t fall to pieces completely but he doesn’t seem to have any shame about it or expect Bashir to react too badly over it either. The trust…

- I must admit that I was quite taken aback. Evidently there is honor among dolts.

I’m genuinely impressed by how enjoyable it is in this book to be party to Garak’s inner voice. It’s so fun in here, among all the horrors. 

- Nine approached me as I sat alone in our quarters reading the first part of Cylon Pareg’s Eternal Stranger, a saga spanning several generations of a Cardassian family during the early and middle Union.

*whisper of agonized affection* between this and his happy place being studying wormhole theory… he’s such a little nerd. 

Nine swallowed again, an even more bitter taste, and marched off to a life of diminishing returns.

LMAO burn. And, as we shall see, not necessarily inaccurate.  

- As I walked away I heard the custodian ask Tarnal what it was I had done to deserve this punishment.

“Nobody told me. But I know he’s got a mouth on him,” Tarnal replied.

The more things change I guess fdhsakja. Known across the school for being a) a sneaky lil bastard and b) never ever shutting the fuck up when he really really should 

- “And you have to use that wonderful smile of yours more often, Elim.”

“What’s that got to do with listening?” That was the subject, and Palandine had typically made a jump in logic I couldn’t follow. She also forgot that I was a Cardassian male and smiling was not one of our strong features.

“If they feel comfortable with you, people will tell you stories about themselves that will reveal their deepest secrets.”

“But what if the stories aren’t true?” I challenged. “I could smile till my cheeks hurt, and you could tell me any kind of story you wanted—and what would I know about you except what you invented?”

“You would know, if you were truly listening, the kind of story I use to define myself,” she asserted.

“But it’s not the truth!” I maintained.

“Why not? Because it’s not what you believe? Or it doesn’t fit a definition of the truth that someone taught you? Look at people, Elim.” Palandine gestured as if the enclosure were filled with people. “Observe them. The way they walk and talk, the way they hold themselves and eat their meals. That’s what they believe about themselves. Is it the ‘truth’? Are they really that way? I don’t know. Perhaps it is a lie. But what people lie about the most are themselves, and these lies become the stories they believe and want to tell you.”

“As long as I’m smiling,” I mumbled.

. . . 

“Truth, as we’ve learned to define it, is not only overrated,” she went on with a controlled passion, “it’s designed to keep people in the dark.”

This last statement stopped me.

“You mean the way we’ve been taught?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“What about our government?”

“They tell us the stories that we need to know in order to be good citizens,” she replied carefully.

“They don’t tell us the truth, is what you’re saying,” I concluded.

“There you go again. They tell us their truth, Elim, and we are here to learn how to listen.”

. . . 

“Let the ones without power scowl and make fierce faces.You smile. It’s an invitation to connect with another person. And once the invitation is accepted, relax and listen … you’ll come to know as much as you’ll ever need to about that person,” she said with a smile that I greedily accepted.

“You would know, if you were truly listening, the kind of story I use to define myself,” she asserted. 

“But it’s not the truth!” I maintained.

“Why not?” 

SO when I was saying he’s taking Palandine’s place in this dynamic with Julian early on I was not kidding and I was not wrong hahaha. And it’s also what this entire book is, in the end. Trusting Julian to ‘truly listen’ to the story under the stories is maybe the biggest show of trust and vulnerability Garak could ever extend to anyone. Extremely The Wire-core once more.

The idea that tiny Garak was too outwardly glum and serious is. Amazing and brainbreaking. People feeling uncomfortable under his gaze b/c he’ll just like scowl distrustfully at them. Palandine I don’t know if you fixed him or made him worse but you certainly did something fundamental to him and committed him to the bit and for that I cannot thank you enough

- I no longer had Palandine to myself—but surprisingly, I didn’t mind, in fact I was pleased that Charaban was here. His stillness, like everything else about him, had grace and strength. I sneaked another look in his direction and marveled that this was the same person I had first encountered in the storeroom. He returned my look, and in the next few moments a bond grew between us that I had never thought possible. 

You know if Barkan was really smart or had the capacity for extended self-control he would have just kept stringing Garak along as the third in his disastrous marriage. Garak is used to subsisting on the merest scraps of affection and consideration, you’d barely even have to feed him. (Ala Daisuke Jigen with many an evil ex, for the Lupinheads out there lol) A threesome here and there and maybe gently stroking his hair afterwards and you’d have him for life, probably. Alas or perhaps thankfully Barkan is ultimately just an asshole and not that smart. 

- A Bolian client came down the steps outside the door and was about to enter the shop, but for some reason he stopped at the threshold. He looked at us, turned, and went back the way he came.

LMAO that guy was like ‘something really fraught and homosexual is going on here and that is frankly none of my business, as you were gentlemen don’t mind me.’ A real ally and a bro.  

“I’m keeping you from your business.” Bashir stood up. “I won’t take up any more of your time.”

“I’m pleased you stopped by.” I was about to escort him to the door.

“No, you’re not,” he said quietly.

“Excuse me?”

“Garak, I come from a culture that has perfected the ‘stiff upper lip,’” he explained with the same faint smile.

“What does that mean?” It was a genuine question; there was a change in his attitude.

“It means that we never complain, never admit to our feelings, never ask for help. It’s just not done,” Bashir explained. “And those people who lack character’ and insist on airing their needs—especially in public—are subject to ridicule… and worse. Does this sound familiar?”

“Perhaps,” I replied softly.

“But I’m also a doctor, Garak. And I know which group of people suffers the most. I really won’t take up any more of your time.” He extended his hand, which he rarely did, and I took it. “Thank you for the tea.” He turned and went out the door.

I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. Yes, Doctor, it does sound familiar. But as to the question of which group suffers the most…

. . . 

After Charaban’s betrayal I became as withdrawn and solitary as I had been when I first came to the Institute. I tried to spend time with Palandine, but it never quite worked out; between her regular duties and the recruitment and planning for the female Competition, she had little time for anything else. But there was something else, a distance that had crept between us that I didn’t understand. I felt ashamed, that somehow I had failed and it was my fault, but I found it difficult to discuss. This was probably the loneliest I had ever been.

1) Going NUTS over the fact that these are separated by ONE paragraph. Andy Robinson staring directly into the camera making parallels between the main love interests in this book like ‘Am I making myself clear here. Do you get it yet’. Also really interesting to make this relationship pattern a, well, pattern in Garak’s life, and not a unique element of his and Bashir’s thing (which Doylistically was basically a byproduct of cowardly 90s standards for tv writing more than anything else lol)

2) But there was something else, a distance that had crept between us that I didn’t understand. I felt ashamed, that somehow I had failed and it was my fault, but I found it difficult to discuss. This was probably the loneliest I had ever been.

 The Palandine/Bashir parallel train barrels on, scoring a deep trail of heartache into my soul. Also in that case it’s so sad because he really hasn’t done anything wrong or anything to be ashamed of, Barkan and Palandine are the ones who fucked him over :’( 

3) I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. + Tolan’s grief at seeing Garak after Bamorren: “He’s hard, Mila,” Father said. . . . “But to the point where he’s unreachable?” Father asked. “Where nothing penetrates? How can he express even his basic needs if he’s trapped inside a shell?” + Just as I had learned to do when Uncle Enabran locked me in that suffocating closet. Was this the universal torture for failure, I wondered?...........................................................................

4) More proof to my eyes that Julian’s side of this whole thing seems to be more about thinking Garak doesn’t actually want him to be there. He doesn’t think he’s welcome here or that he’ll be able to help more than he hurts with whatever’s going on for him. ‘I really won’t take up any more of your time’ AUGH 

Garak buddy… every time he tries to get closer to you or extend some care, you bristle like a hedgehog even though you’re trying to do it in as polite and decent a way as possible — what is the poor guy supposed to think beyond a certain point lmao. (Though on the hopeful/beautiful side… what is this entire book but Garak actually taking the advice/suggestion Bashir gives in this scene to reexperience his past and put it in context — not in the holosuites, but in his own way by writing it all out in a way that makes sense to his Cardassian brain and then sharing that with Julian directly. Like. The last line of the book is ‘You’re always welcome, Doctor’. Elim ‘I will become emotionally healthy enough to ask Julian to come visit with an open heart if it fucking kills me’ Garak)  

I’m so soft for how careful they both are with each other in this scene, though. Even in this difficult place where there’s stuff they don’t understand about each other and they are having difficulty connecting for… several reasons, they are trying so so hard to be good to each other. Which is why I think they have every chance of working out brilliantly long-term; once you’ve got a mutual respect, willingness to keep working to understand and communicate with each other even when it’s difficult, and that fundamental ‘I don’t want to hurt you’ good faith in a relationship you’re a good chunk of the way there, from what I have observed. 

Julian cares that Garak was upset, much more than he cares about being right, and this time he shows it in a more private setting where Garak can take it in. They’re trying!  

5) The implication in But as to the question of which group suffers the most… that Garak also realizes how much he’s hurting Julian by not being able to let him in…

Most of all the fact that Bashir in this scene is like ‘Listen Garak I get emotional repression. I’m literally British.’ is one of the funniest things that happen in the whole book. To me. (I’m Norwegian, culturally this has. Some overlap with my experience, let’s say lol) 

- Six had long since gone home. He wanted to succeed so badly, but his body couldn’t withstand the constant assault of the training. I’m sure he found an academic situation. 

Oh thank GOD. Genuinely so relieved to hear this. This is how many times a nerd boy must pass out before he rests in the sand and gets to go to normal university instead of murderschool, the question is finally answered.  

- Tain has shown up again and I want to throw rocks at him until he goes away. And I know he won’t. 

- My shed has become somewhat more bearable, but the clutter and confinement of the interior space requires that I leave the door open. To keep myself busy when I’m not working with the med unit, Doctor, I am engaged in a project I must tell you about. It baffles me. Perhaps you can tell me if I’m losing my mind altogether.

. . . 

[Parmak] turned to me with the strangest expression on his face—and looked me directly in the eyes for the first time.

AUGH. (Plus, the fact that Parmak consistently calls him ‘Elim’.)

But what baffles me, Doctor, is that I attach no meaning to what I’m doing here. I’m just doing it because I need to. And to be truthful, I don’t see this as a memorial at all. On the contrary—if I could, I’d singlehandedly rebuild this city myself, piece by piece. I stood here watching Parmak’s blood dry on this pile of rubble, engulfed by a feeling of loss and utter mystification as to what these piles mean.

Just assure me that I’m not going mad, Doctor.

This whole section is the biggest mood and I’ve rarely felt closer to a fictional character haha. His quietly dissociated tired bemusement both with himself and what he’s doing and Parmak’s reaction is… yeah that’s exactly what that feels like. And ‘Just assure me that I’m not going mad, Doctor’ has done irreparable damage to my psyche, I’m going to be thinking about this forever

- Palandine gestured that she would deal with me and sent the mate on her way.

“So what did you use me for?” I asked.

“What do we ever use each other for?” she replied without hesitation.

“Answering a question with a question is an old trick, Palandine.”

“No trick. I needed a friend.”

“And you don’t need a friend now” I hated the tone that was creeping into my voice.

“It’s complicated, Elim.”

I was afraid to ask why.

“What did you use me for?” she asked.

The question truly baffled me. I only wanted her love. Was that using her? I would gladly have given mine in return.

Still gnawing on concrete over Garak partially reenacting Palandine’s way of approaching him with Bashir in the beginning. At that point he also needed a friend (and he needed someone to run to Sisko like ‘THE SPY TALKED TO ME :D’ to deliver intel through so he was also using him lol.) The way Garak picks up traits from the people he loves like he’s doing the soul version of Odo’s shapeshifting-as-closeness thing because it’s the only way he knows. 

- “So it’s Eight,” he said, dismissing me from his world.

“I don’t think you understand, Barkan….” Palandine began to say.

“It’s not necessary that he understand,” I dismissed him from my world.

Barkan… you did not understand what you were doing, getting into an emotionally and sexually charged petty-off with this man. RIP your stupid ass I guess lmao

“I wanted to tell you. But when I realized … I didn’t want to hurt you,” she said with a gentleness that rankled me.

“I’m not hurt. Neither one of you can hurt me. I wish you a successful… partnership.”

Palandine is so interesting!!!! And like here’s one of the things that I think make a big difference in Garak’s relationship with Palandine vs. his relationship with Julian — who tells him exactly the same thing in ‘The Wire’, after all! (I don’t want to hurt you) Because Palandine doesn’t really mean it, does she? She doesn’t mean ‘I don’t want you to be hurting, I want to protect you from being harmed’, she means ‘I didn’t want to be the thing that hurt you; I didn’t want to be faced with your hurt’, while she is doing things that will inevitably hurt him. I think there is genuine affection and care on her side, but they’re in such a fucked up, brutal world and they’re so young. 

‘I’m not hurt. Who’s hurt’ says teen crying quiet tears of blood as his world falls to pieces 

“I love him, Elim. And I’m also ambitious. I want what he wants. You’ll understand this when you find someone to share your….”

Not me wondering how much of this has echoes to Mila’s relationship to Tain and how that’s part of what Garak reacts to — that survival mechanism of ‘I want what he wants’, subsuming and submitting yourself completely. Which of course is what a Cardassian is supposed to do to the state, and that Garak also does with Tain for the vast majority of both of their lives. The worst part is that Palandine really had some reason to hope for more — she and Barkan start out in a more equal position than it’s implied Mila and Tain ever did, that’s always framed as an inter-class thing, and while Palandine’s family situation is not as grand as Barkan’s it doesn’t seem like it crosses the service class/ruling class barrier. But the structure of the state imposed on every level of society right down to the most intimate and personal areas of life is going to crush the life out of that hope real fast. I’m sorry girl. Wanting to have a fighting chance in this world isn’t the worst sin anyone’s committed and tbf you are like a teen by all accounts

- “My name is Elim Garak. I don’t know where I’m being sent, but I hope you’ll remember me as your friend.”

“When I was told today that I was One Lubak, I was honored… and afraid that I’d lose you as a friend. Thank you. My name is Pythas Lok.”

Neither one of us ever took our eyes off Mila, who was still trying to blend into his surroundings.

Crying gently into my cereal

Garak ‘I wasn’t sure I could ever call him a friend’ vs. Pythas ‘Afraid that I’d lose you as a friend’

Something powerful was stirring deep inside me, and I began to shake. Mila snapped his head to the side, the way he does when he senses light or heat change. Convulsive waves pushed up from my center and tears filled my eyes, blinding me. I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me. By the time the convulsions subsided and my eyes cleared, Mila had disappeared into the rock-and-sand home he came from. 

Absolutely sobbing my eyes out into my cereal 

Spoiler warning: Garak having to go somewhere to be alone after something calamitous happens in his life because that’s the only way he can cry is a theme that will reemerge later and do unspeakable emotional damage to me personally haha

As I hiked back to the Institute, I had the thought that maybe somebody was doing the same thing for me and bringing me back home.

No baby you see someone is doing the exact opposite of this to you right now because you have a basic goodness and capacity for real honest love that Tain doesn’t and he’ll never in a million years set you free just because he loves you and it’s the right thing for you 

- And Jadzia is gone. The station is a sadder and grayer place without her. I’m surprised at how keenly I feel her absence. Even though I know that her symbiont has been “joined” with another person … well, it’s not the same, is it? Indeed, knowing that Jadzia’s personality is somehow contained along with several others within this other person, I wonder how I would react if we were ever to meet.

:(

The doctor has reminded me that these are personal choices, and it’s not for us to judge how one chooses to mourn. Quite so. Who can even begin to understand another’s grief? “Do you judge people by the clothes they ask you to make?” the doctor asked once. I bit back my response, but the point was well taken.

:’) little soul-healing brush of Julian kindness time 

- “What does Tir Remara want with you?” Colonel Kira demanded, ignoring my offer of tea. Immediately an entire picture formed in my head of the scenario her abrupt question suggested: Tir Remara—a spy, perhaps even a changeling, preying upon a lonely Cardassian who was working for the Federation and engaged in top-secret work.

“She wants to have my children,” I replied with a serious look.

“You can’t be serious,” she managed.

“I’m not. Now do you want this tea or not?”

Kira should just have strangled you all those times she wanted to you snarky asshole fhdskja

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s3e1 live episode reaction

alright everybody I am *so* ready

did y'all know I'm so deeply in love with tori spring? because I love her. Ilyvs I love you victoria spring

god I love everyone

TAO I SWEAR omg he's so CUTE

bro taoelle are everything that's good in the WORLD

oh darcy my love my darling

bro THEYRE SO CUTEEEEEE

GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW *SO MUCH* SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEEE

omg imogen is here I LOVE YOU IMOGEN

WAS THAT A SPLIT SECOND NICKTAO HUG OHHHHH OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH

god I want a group of friends

I love everyone in this show so muuuuch

so you told imogen not to bring all that??? so you're COMMUNICATING???? IMOGEN/SAHAR?????

that shot was SO CUTE nobody touch me I love the paris squad so much

oh okay I see u charlie

oh.... the sparks.... I see you Both

oh NO NOT AN IMAGINE SPOT I CANT DO THOSE I'LL DIE

OH NO THE SUNSCREEN BIT WAS *SO CUTE* WJAKFJSKGJDKGJDKG

OH NYOGJDLGKDLFKDLGKDL I LOVE THEM

NICK STOP KISSING YOUR BOYFRIEND AND HURRY UP

poor isaac next to them, I'm sure he must've been like "oh.... not again"

tao is so obsessed with elle he's so relatable i

god they're SO CUTE

I DONT CARE I HATE GENDER AAAHAJDHSJFHSKFJSKFJSK NONBINARY DARCY LETS FUCKIN *GO*

also that dap between nick and darcy..... chaos siblings incoming let's fuckin go

truly nothing like the camaraderie between a bisexual and a nonbinary. nothing but contempt for the concept of gender.

"charlie, you're already dating" god im SO isaac lmao

"I think I'm immune" OH ISAAC

SO YOU THINK YOU'RE ASEXUAL THEN

SCREAMS AND CRIES AND THROWS UP

PROBABLY AROMANTIC TOO AI CANNOT *BELIEVE* TBISJFKDJGKDJG

I can't believe I just heard the word "aromantic" in a mainstream Netflix series I'm gonna start crying lmao

"just can't be bothered to give everyone a vocab lesson" wow isaac is so extremely fuckin relatable

by the end of these 8 episodes I probably will end up finally committing to the aroace label just wait

I LOVE YOU - AW I LOVE YOU TOO MY BABIEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

bro that was...... so gentle. that kiss. the voice. oh my god. that was so gentle. im in tears

"what came first, the fish or the chips?" somehow the fact that darcy wasn't the one asking this is the best part

but also god.... charlie...... oh I'm suffering (and so is nick)

they better keep this nicktara energy going, I love their friendship so MUCH

god nick is such a worrier too bye

"she's so much safer living with me" bro :(

WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO HELP THEM oh Tara you have no idea

oh. nick's youtube rabbit hole, the sad remix

"you're doing your best" "so are you" nobody even BREATHE in my DIRECTION oh my god

sidenote I wonder if the girls feel so much safer going in the sea just by their scary dog* privilege (*nick just looks scary tho he's a baby)

oh i will cry

oh I can't wait for the parallel gifsets with their first beach scene

WHAT? IN PUBLIC??? NICHOLAS???????

oh

well, that was surprising. charlie def didn't downplay that in the book

"I don't think they do" yeah well your brain lies to you, charlie

OH HE'S CRYING

ARE YOU ANGRY AT ME NICK BABY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

bro I'm in shambles

if I see the word "aromanticism" again I might genuinely burst into tears bro

charlie's such a good friend. and boyfriend. and everything. charlie can we have this energy for yourself too

nick's such a cuddly baby bear idk how charlie can stand it

ONLY IF ITS NOT MARVEL - OH YEAH FORGOT YOU HAVE NO TASTE AKFJSLGJDLGJDLGKDLGGJDLGJDLGKD

oh my god I forgot about agatha I have to watch after I'm done here

oh fuck oh godn

oh I was so stressed I forgot I've been waiting for this for OVER A YEAR oh my GOD I don't wanna watch

oh, there's other stuff first thank god

bro darcy ily but what the FUCK is up with the mess oh my god

I hope darcy's grandma is nice :(

PLEASE DON'T BURN DOWN MY HOUSE oh my god yan you are a SAINT and a DELIGHT

AND YOU'RE THE BEST THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME I DONT WANNA LOSE YOU oh my god tao baby

NOT THE PICTURE MONTAGE I'M GONNA KICK SOMETHING

sidenote nick's lil bi flag, me too

oh good lord jesus christ I can't take this

oh my god

oh my hod

oh my gifb

oh my god og my god oh my god

ohmymgod

CHARLIE'S TEARY EYES NO

CLOTHES

OHMG

OH NO

IM

WHY'S HE RUNNING LIKE TJATJSKGJSLFKSLGJDLGKDLFKF

oh my hod

oh m yog

bro im literally in tears that was a thousand times softer than i thought it was gonna be

oh. my hod

god

i don't know how to react bro there's literal tears running down my face

hold on I'm watching again

new favorite narlie scene? probably yea

SO IN LOVE YOU'D WALKNTO MY HOUSE WITH NO SHOES ON - YEAH THATS HOW IN LOVE I AM

IM NOTD

copingggggg

YOU'D DO THE SAME FOR ME - YEAH I WOULD

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO RIP MY HAIR OFF

bro nick and charlie...... top 5 fictional characters of all time no question no doubt I love them so much idk what to do

oh man that was so fucking much