#i think i have the overall plot figured out but i need to plan some filler scenes and tie up the ending

[bucketbueckers]

HEY GOAT! so ik you have finals rn so just ignore this until ur done BUT i have a long (as usual) paige x reader request for you this time👅 for some backround paige and reader went to uconn together and have been dating for a bit like 3 years and they both get drafted by the wings (reader being 12th pick) and they are super excited whatever. OKAY SO basically reader is like the first person in her family to graduate college and it was really important for her to be there in person and walk with her family watching but she didn’t expect to be drafted in the first round let alone so far away. so she goes to ask the head of whatever at dallas if she can go to her graduation and they say prolly not so she gets super upset and paige decides to plan something with the team and flys her parents out and stuff like that one video with mika and the storm last year. ykwimmm like something super fluffy and just a littttlleee bit angsty.

-⬇️

LOVE IS THE WAY

pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader

content: language, 1% angst (like there's more fat content in some milk than there is angst in this story), unfathomable plot

wc: 5.4k

synopsis: As a first generation college student, graduation meant everything to you and your family. Your entire high school career was spent studying through the night, devoting yourself to academics, extracurriculars, and basketball, and reminding yourself that college was the goal. But basketball was your passion – your home away from test prep and the rigor of your courses, and the athletic scholarship from UConn saved your life in more ways than one. When you’re drafted 12th overall alongside your girlfriend of three years, it devastates you to find out that you wouldn’t be able to make it back to campus in time to walk across the stage. Luckily for you, Paige was more than willing to move mountains just to see you smile.

notes: HAPPY GAMEDAY CHAT (i deleted twitter this morning in honor of it) and HAPPY PB5 HOOPS DAY!!!! everyone lock in. this is generational. but real talk, as a first gen student, this request actually means the world to me 🤞 hoping i did this justice for u ⬇️ and i cannot thank u enough for these banger requests 😛 as alwaysss lmk what we're thinking and i hope y'all enjoy 🫶

Basketball wasn’t always the goal.

Anyone who sees you might not believe that at first glance. Your game is clinical – smooth, effortless. Your jump shot is perfect, technical in a way analysts have described as academically precise. You play like you were destined for the professional leagues, like you dribbled a basketball for the first time at three years old instead of in the sixth grade.

Growing up, you didn’t have a lot. Your parents weren’t well off but they worked hard to give you a good life. You excelled in school, got exceptional grades, and by eight you knew you would do anything to get into college after touring the local university on a field trip. Your parents weren’t able to go to college, coming from families where they had to prioritize working. College, while impossible for them, became something that was within reach for you. College – an education – was the goal.

When you first started middle school, you knew you needed an outlet, something more than your grades and wit. You tried a few things. Art, while pretty, wasn’t for you. You were a little too restless for it, too much of a perfectionist to fully appreciate the abstract. You briefly considered band but your parents had to make the decision for you when they looked at the cost to rent an instrument from the school.

Sports was your last option. You liked the discipline, the structure, and how you could get all of your energy out. You showed up to softball tryouts, but again – the price tag attached to the glove, the cleats, and the gear was too much. It was the same story for soccer. You arrived at basketball tryouts, not really having much of an interest in it, but figuring you could suck it up if there was any option you could play.

As soon as you picked up the ball for the first time, dribbling it a little clumsily around your body, and following the coach’s instructions on how to shoot it, it was like something ignited in you. You put a little too much spin on the ball and it clanked off the rim, but you knew you could perfect it with a few more shots.

So you tried again. And again. And again. Until you finally sunk the shot from the three point line. That was satisfying.

“It’s not a lot,” you remember Coach Kerrigan telling your parents – clearly in what he thought was a hushed tone of voice. “Just $50 for the entire season. It covers the uniform and tournament fees.”

Your parents had paused, clearly contemplating – and selfishly, you’d hoped they’d give just this once. You had done everything right. You kept your grades up, your room clean, and you’d exhausted all other options.

“I don’t know,” your dad admitted. Your heart sunk to your stomach.

Even years later, you recall the weight of your coach’s stare, how his eyes traced the arc of the basketball as it left your hands. The accompanying swish of the net, how you chased after the rebound, settling in to shoot again. “She has so much potential,” he’d said. “I’ve never seen anything like her.”

Your parents remained silent. You shot the ball, hoping, praying that just this once – you could try to find who you were outside of academics. Then, Coach Kerrigan spoke up. “Actually, I think we’ve got a little extra funding this year. So if you’d let her play…you don’t have to worry about anything.”

Your parents let you play. It took you years to realize the girl’s basketball team at your middle school hadn’t actually gotten any extra funding and that Coach Kerrigan paid the season fee out of his own pocket. And the next season’s. And when the high school coach approached you during your eighth grade year and asked if you’d be willing to give varsity a shot, Coach Kerrigan paid for that one, too.

High school basketball is where you truly flourished. It was a simple agreement with your parents – you could continue playing ball as long as you didn’t put college on the backburner. You pointed out that if you got recruited, you would be on scholarship and you truly didn’t have to worry about money anymore. Your parents believed in you. They’d seen what you were capable of, but when you grow up with so little, it’s hard to lose that worry that it could all slip away if you weren’t careful.

You upheld your end of the bargain. You kept your grades up, enrolled in AP courses, joined student government to round out your application. High achieving student. Honored athlete, Team USA gold medalist averaging 26.4 points a season and improving. Student body president. With a resume like that, you were sure you had a solid chance, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t keep working.

Geno Auriemma showed up to one of your games in sophomore year. So did Dawn Staley and several other college basketball coaches. Coach Auriemma kept showing up, though. After an electric win against a conference opponent, he’d pulled you aside and glanced at you like he was unimpressed, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes that reminded you of Coach Kerrigan’s unwavering confidence. Then, Coach Auriemma said, “You play like you’ve got something to prove.”

It wasn’t unkind. Just an observation. Your face was slick with sweat, your feet hurt, and you had a paper due for AP Lang that night. Your teammates were celebrating the win, but your job was far from finished. Isn’t that how it always is, though? Having to work a little extra harder now so you wouldn’t have to in the future. Sacrificing every day to prove to your parents that everything they poured into basketball wasn’t for nothing. Success was hard, exhausting, but God did it taste good.

Simply, you responded, “Don’t we all?”

Coach Auriemma paused. A slow smile spread across his face. He wished you a goodnight.

In junior year, you committed officially to UConn. Full ride athletic scholarship. Your mother cried and your father grinned proudly when the three of you got off the phone with Coach Auriemma.

Being a Husky didn’t mean you could rest easy. The draft was competitive and there was so much talent in the country. This time, there was no “agreement” between you and your parents. You were an adult, but they did have one simple request to get a degree in something versatile. A just in case.

So here you were – a biology major and student athlete. When you weren’t in lab, you were in practice. When you weren’t in practice, you were studying for calculus. And when you weren’t studying for calculus, you were a little busy falling in love with the sophomore point guard from Minnesota who made you realize that there’s a little more to life than ball and school. You had plenty of room for her – for Paige Bueckers – even though you didn’t make it official until your sophomore year at UConn.

It was her junior season. She’d suffered an ACL tear in August, right before classes started. It was a huge blow for morale – she was the heart and soul of the team, the leader on and off the court. But you were the glue who held everything together. Coach shifted you into a more traditional point guard role. You brought a quiet efficiency to the court and confident play-calling. You weren’t there to replace her. That wasn’t possible.

The feelings between the two of you had been growing since your freshman season although neither of you acted on anything. You were close friends but her injury, somehow, pushed you even closer. She texted you reminders to eat when she knew you had a gap in your schedule. You warmed up her heating pad and let her choose the movie on the nights you gave up the textbooks to stay in with her. You and Paige worked so well together and it became harder and harder to deny what you felt for her.

But when she kissed you for “good luck” before the first game of the season? You dropped a casual 23 points with 11 assists to take home the win and made her ask you out for real after the press conference.

That year, the early Sweet 16 exit in the NCAA tournament stung. So did the Final Four exit in your junior year. Paige was staying for a fifth year and you knew that the both of you had one more chance to reel it in for the last time.

And you did. Your senior season was hard but you loved (almost) every second of it anyways. When Azzi was cleared to return from injury. When Aubrey and Carol did, too. When Paige and Azzi tested every bit of your patience by spraining their knees at different parts of the season. When you lost to USC, Notre Dame, and Tennessee but blew out South Carolina – twice, once in the regular season and the second when it mattered the most. When your teammates had your back, unconditionally, just as you had theirs.

Your name started creeping into the mock draft predictions. Third round. Then second. Then first. You were hard to place – nobody could ever agree on whether or not you were a Sun, a Sky, or a Mystic. The only thing that was guaranteed was the fact your girlfriend would be a Wing and you’d cheer her on from wherever the draft took you.

Getting invited to the draft was a different feeling entirely. You had a shot. You were going to be selected, and for once, you truly allowed yourself to reflect – through thick and thin, for worse or for better, you’d made it here. Not just to the draft, but you made it through college, too, which had seemed so out of the picture. Everything your parents had ever sacrificed for you, you’d be able to give it back with interest. You got your degree, your education. You have your career in basketball. You have Paige. That was more than enough for you.

You flew your parents out for the draft in New York. They were ecstatic for you, nearly in tears when you showed them your dress for the first time – styled by Brittany Hampton, of course, because Paige was so keen on matching. It was made of a dark, lace material that glimmered under the lighting in the room, the bodice fitting you just right, and the skirt billowing out around your ankles, cut at the side to reveal one of your legs.

Paige nearly fell out the moment she saw you. You weren’t any better, either. Your eyes lingered (she was wearing her hair down – you might have fallen in love for a second time if you weren’t so drawn to the way her suit sparkled, too) while her hands traveled, linking her fingers at the small of your back and pulling you in. “You’re unreal,” she’d murmured as you wrapped your arms around her neck, smoothing out some of the baby hairs at her nape.

You just grinned, self-satisfied at her obvious speechlessness. Knowing you couldn’t ruin your makeup without your respective teams losing their mind, you press your temple to hers, relishing in the closeness before you’d be pulled away for interviews and to sit at your separate tables. “I could pinch you, if you’d like,” you offered. “Just to make sure you’re not dreaming.”

“Hands to yourself, aight?” she grumbled. “Sum’ about that biology degree makes you evil.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works,” you cooed softly. “Like at all.”

Paige just squeezed you around your waist, not saying much else, and the two of you made your way to the draft venue. Interviews were quick – pictures, not so much, especially when your entire team was in attendance to watch you, Paige, Aubrey, and Kaitlyn get drafted. You and Paige go your separate ways after the photo on the draft stage. She had a second outfit and you had to find your family – which leads you to now.

Your parents, CD, and Coach Kerrigan are waiting for you and you hug each of them one by one, although you linger on Coach Kerrigan. He doesn’t say much other than a “Proud of you, kid,” and you don’t either – not trusting yourself to speak without breaking down. You’re not sure if he knows the kind of impact he made on your life by welcoming you onto his team when he did, but he grins at you like he understands it just the same.

When Paige makes her way through the crowd, having changed into her second outfit, you almost fall out again. Somehow, you manage to keep it together, even as your jaw hangs slack in near awe while you’re examining the rings on her fingers, the fact that this suit sparkles too, and the devastating lack of an undershirt that has you ready to give up on the draft completely so you can run a few laps around the block to control yourself.

Obviously, she’s the first pick overall. She hugs everyone at her table before finding you and your family. You tell her that you love her and that you’re proud of you. She winks at you and asks you to keep an extra draft hat for her.

The next few picks go by agonizingly slow. You don’t think it should take this long for teams to settle on their next pick and the way the cameras linger on you makes your skin prickle. The Sky have the two picks late in the first round followed by the Wings with the last first round selection. When Hailey Van Lith is taken at #11, you deflate a little, thinking you’ve fallen to the second round. Truly – it’s not the end of the world. It just means you’d have to fight a little harder for a roster spot. That’s a challenge you’d be willing to take head on.

But when the commissioner steps up to the podium again to announce the 12th pick in the draft, you freeze when it’s your name that is called. You, to the Dallas Wings, the same organization that selected Paige only moments ago. Stunned, you hug everyone at your table, then your girlfriend’s family, before making your way up to pose with the Wings jersey. You’re only half-listening to the interview with Holly Rowe, too concerned about making it to the back for media and seeing Paige.

When you finally do, Paige’s expression is one of disbelief and awe and you fall into each other with breathless giggles. Your hat jostles from the force of her body against yours, but she reaches up to steady it, her hands cupping your jaw as she looks at you with something like wonder. Her eyes are the most disarming shade of blue you think you’ve ever seen – and this right here, this feeling of contentment, of knowing that you get to live out your professional dreams with your girlfriend? You want to live in it forever.

“Guess you didn’t need to save an extra hat for me,” she comments coyly.

You laugh, not even bothering with a response as you grab her face and kiss her. Paige sinks into you like you’re the only thing she’s ever been sure about. For a moment, you think that may be true. In a world full of ACL injuries, of never really knowing if you’ll be able to make it unless you work for it, the relationship the two of you have is something steady. Constant. You’ll always have space for each other, just like you’ll always know that loving each other is the easiest part of living.

After the draft, you and Paige don’t immediately fly out to Dallas. You have a final exam or two, shared victory tours and talk show appearances, rallies and loose ends to tie up. You’re booked and busy until the very last minute. Packing is difficult – you’re not quite sure how you’re supposed to fit the last four years of your life into a box and tape it shut. You just have to remind yourself that you’re not closing this door. Maybe you leave it cracked, because you’re not the type of person to abandon your past in search of your future.

But you do come across your graduation gown while you’re packing away your closet. It’s neatly ironed, ready for the big day – May 10th. There’s something about that day that gives you pause, so you pull out your phone to scan the email sent to you by the Wings front office. Your first preseason game was on May 2nd against the Aces.

The second preseason game? May 10th. In Dallas.

Your face falls. Your phone screen goes dark from disuse while you stare in silent disbelief at your graduation gown.

Basketball wasn’t always the goal.

It was a reprieve before it was your passion before it was the best part of your life. You didn’t know if you’d be able to play in middle school, didn’t think you’d get recruited to the best basketball college fresh out of high school. You didn’t know if you’d win a national championship or meet some of your best friends ever. You didn’t know that you’d get drafted.

College was the goal. The goal was beating the odds, of getting a degree and an experience that your family wasn’t lucky enough to put time away for. The goal was succeeding despite every barrier and obstacle that made it difficult for you. The goal was walking across the stage after four years, officially becoming a college graduate, making your family – and yourself – proud, to be able to say that you did. And, sure, walking across the stage doesn’t take away the fact that you did the time. That you excelled. That you sacrificed so much to be a student athlete and a STEM major. Whether or not you walk across that stage has no impact on whether or not you get the degree in the mail certifying that you did everything you wanted to and got something special out of it.

But walking across that stage was a physical reminder that you refused to quit – that you held out hope even when you missed out on so many opportunities because you lacked things out of your control. It’s a reminder for you, for your parents and your family who would fill the stands, a reminder that this is possibly the most important thing you’ve ever done in your life. No one would ever understand it if they haven’t lived it.

You knew you were stuck between a rock and a hard place. You couldn’t miss graduation – you didn’t want to. You knew that you couldn’t miss the preseason game, either. Not if you wanted to keep your roster spot. Not if you wanted to prove you had more determination than the other hopeful rookies on the team. Not if you wanted to prove you were an invaluable piece to the Dallas Wings roster. The most devastating part of the situation is that you truly don’t have a choice at all.

You’re still when Paige walks in, her voice startling you. “Hey, baby. You got another roll of tape? I completely fucked up and used like, half of it on one box, but it just wouldn’t shut–” She falters, her gaze meeting yours when she realizes that you’re barely listening and you’re staring catatonically. “You okay? What’s going on?”

“Graduation is May 10th,” you tell her, and she nods – because she’d had that date saved in her calendar the moment you submitted the documentation stating that you had all requirements and would be participating in the ceremony. “And so is our second preseason game.”

Paige’s body softens with regret and understanding all at once. You swear you see something curiously like guilt as if it’s her fault at all. Like she feels bad that she got the opportunity to graduate and walk across the stage when that was the one thing you’d set out to do with your life.

She doesn’t say anything. She just wraps her arms around you, letting you sink into her embrace while you try not to fall apart. Paige knows how important this is to you.

“I don’t think I can miss the game,” you confess, not having to look up to know Paige is listening as you rest your chin on her shoulder. “Not when I’m competing for a roster spot with Aziaha and Madison and JJ and everyone who’s not you, Arike, Ty, Dijonai, NaLyssa–” Your voice breaks, and you inhale sharply, feeling the familiar sting of tears. Paige runs a soothing hand down your back, comforting you enough to keep talking. “But my parents were supposed to see me walk.”

“They will, okay?” she murmurs, like she’s never been more confident than anything in her life. “It’s not over. You’re you. You wouldn’t make it this far just to give up now. Have you called Curt?”

“Well, I was a little busy having a mental breakdown before you walked in complaining about tape, so no, I did not call Curt,” you say dramatically.

“I’m so sorry I interrupted your spiraling,” Paige deadpans, which makes you laugh a little. She gives you one more squeeze before you extract yourself from her body, turning your phone on again as you take a seat on your bed. She follows suit as you scroll through your contacts for Curt’s number.

The line rings for a few moments. Paige, as if sensing your nerves, rests her hand over your knee for encouragement before Curt’s voice clicks through, greeting you. You remember your manners before you explain the situation to him. Graduation on May 10th. Preseason game too. Can I please miss the game so I can walk the stage and not crash the fuck out? You don’t say all of that – you use your professional voice, but the sentiment is the same.

Curt doesn’t respond for a moment. And when he doesn’t, you already have your answer. You deflate as he says, not unkindly, but clearly remorseful, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you’ll be able to miss it. The coaching staff needs you there for evaluation and your contract–”

You stop listening when he starts talking about contracts and roster spots and how he’s really sorry, but he just can’t make an exception right now. You can tell he genuinely feels terrible that it’s happened this way, but the league is competitive. You need to be there if you want to play basketball in May. Knowing doesn’t make the feeling go away, though, so you thank him for his time when he’s done explaining it to you and you hang up.

Paige doesn’t make you say anything, already reaching for your phone and turning it off. She pulls you into her arms again, her mood dampened as she murmurs an apology in your ear, pressing a consoling kiss to the crown of your head.

It does make you feel a little bit better, and maybe, one day, you won’t feel as bitter and as disappointed about missing your graduation as you are now, but you just can’t push the hurt to the side.

You let Paige hold you for a little longer, her hands rubbing soothing circles on your back as you curl up against her, your head tucked into her neck.

But she’s quiet – maybe a little too quiet, and you wholeheartedly miss the expression of sheer determination on her face like she’s plotting something that you’ll never know about until the time comes.

The move to Dallas goes better than expected. You and Paige lease an apartment not too far away from the facilities, but decently away from the bustle of the city. You spend a huge chunk of your time between Target and Costco and building furniture together – Paige has always been handy although a little…creative, when it comes to the instruction manuals, so you have to force her to follow them exactly. The last thing you want is your coffee table crumbling.

Between practice, shopping, and getting used to being in a completely different city, you hardly have the time to think too hard about how you have to miss graduation. You try to let yourself be happy, too. The Wings vets are incredibly kind and helpful, although they love to tease you and Paige, which is probably something you should have known was going to happen as soon as Cathy called your name at the draft. Despite the ache of missing Storrs, your teammates, and what you still consider home, you can see yourself loving it in Dallas, too. You can see the Wings becoming your family, too.

The first preseason game goes as well as it could have. Not wanting to risk injury, neither the Wings nor the Aces do anything too crazy, just wanting to get the rookies acclimated to playing professional basketball. Your coach runs different rotations, evaluating how everyone plays. It’s sad to know that by the beginning of the regular season, a few of your new teammates will be waived, even if you have to work extra hard just to make sure it’s not you.

Ultimately, the Aces take the win. Losing wasn’t something that you were used to in Connecticut, so you try not to take it to heart. You sleep on Paige’s shoulder the entire flight back to Dallas, blissfully unaware of the plans she’s making on her phone.

A few days after the first preseason game, you’re making your way through the tunnel in the Wings facility to get ready for another grueling day of practice. Before you can enter the locker room, Paige catches your wrist at the door, taking your bag gingerly as you stare at her in confusion.

“Do you trust me?” she asks you in a tone of voice that is screaming Don’t trust me!

“Under most circumstances, yes,” you respond. “What–”

“Wait here,” she says softly. “And close your eyes, please.” You sigh, but you do as she asks, even placing your hands over your eyes for good measure. You hear shuffling inside of the locker room before she comes out again. “Keep ‘em closed, but hold out your arms.”

You do, and she helps you into what feels like a large coat. You hear the sound of a zipper and then she’s carefully fitting a hat over your head. “You comfy?” she checks in.

“Just hoping my girlfriend didn’t team up with the vets for some weird rookie hazing ritual,” you mutter, listening to her laugh.

“Something a little better than that, I promise,” Paige swears. She links her fingers with yours, giving you a gentle squeeze. “Don’t open your eyes. Just follow me.”

You let her lead you through the facility, hoping that she remembers she’s an athlete with coordination and that she doesn’t run you into a wall accidentally. Before you know it, she comes to a stop, and nervously, she says, her voice echoing, “Okay. Open your eyes.”

When you do, your breath catches in your throat. You’re dressed in your cap and gown and you’re in the practice gym, but what truly captures your attention is the makeshift stage that’s been assembled at the center of the court. There’s a podium, where one of the coordinators from UConn’s Department of Biology stands – you’d worked with her a lot when it came to your academics since you were always booked and busy with class, studying, practice, and games. Your entire team sits in neat little rows in front of the stage dressed in their practice jerseys, but most of all, your parents are front and center, too.

“Paige,” you whisper, your voice catching, and she takes your hands in hers.

“Surprise!” she says, her tone soft. Despite yourself, you give a watery laugh, trying not to cry in front of everyone. “You weren’t able to go back to Storrs to walk across the stage. So…I pulled some strings and brought Storrs to you.” You take the scene in again, your heart full. You lock eyes with Arike, who’s holding a laptop. She lifts it slightly to show you the Zoom call she’s on. The screen is full of your teammates – KK, Morgan, Ice, Sarah – and you can hear their cheers through the computer speakers.

“Dr. Snyder agreed to speak and present your diploma,” Paige continues. “And I flew out your parents for the weekend.” She lowers her voice, ensuring that only you can hear her. Your lip trembles, the love you feel for your girlfriend almost overwhelming. “I know this means a lot to you. Graduating. I’m sorry we couldn’t be in Storrs to do this, but…you deserve to be honored. You deserve to do this.” Her eyes shine a little brighter, the affection almost stifling. “I love you, and I’m so proud of you. I hope you like it.”

“Like it?” you echo, disbelief lacing your tone as you laugh again. “Paige, I love this.” Her features relax a little, her grin widening as she pulls you into a tight hug. “This means everything to me.”

“Then let’s graduate.”

You pull away and your teammates, coaching staff, and trainers all clap for you as you make your way to the lone seat reserved for you in front of everyone else. You grin a little, shaking your head as Dr. Snyder steps up to the podium fully, taking her job incredibly seriously. She clears her throat.

“Esteemed graduate, friends, family, teammates old and new,” she begins, winking at you, and you let your smile grow without a care in the world. “We’re gathered here today to celebrate an extremely special individual who was unable to make it back to Storrs to receive her degree. But unconventional does not mean undeserving, and I certainly can’t name one other student who deserves this more than she does.

“I’ve guided many students in my career,” Dr. Snyder continues. “None of them are ever the same, yet she stands a caliber above the rest. She juggled a rigorous course load, a taxing athletic schedule, and she did this for four years with determination, wit, and unyielding perseverance. She has made such a profound impact on our university, on the basketball program, as well as in the lives of many people around her. I am proud to have advised her, but even more proud to stand here today to see her achieve her dreams. On behalf of everyone at the University of Connecticut, we are so excited to see you write this next chapter of your life.”

If there weren’t tears in your eyes during Dr. Snyder’s speech, then there are when she reaches for the degree cover and says your name. It feels like getting drafted all over again – but it’s even better than being drafted, because this has been your dream longer than basketball has been a reality. It was difficult, and most days it felt damn near impossible, but you did it.

You rise to the raucous applause in the gym, a beaming smile on your face as you make your way to the stage. Before you reach for your hard-earned degree, you give Dr. Snyder a crushing hug, thanking her profusely. Together, you hold onto your degree, smiling for the pictures that your parents, Paige, and the Dallas Wings media team take all at once. Even Arike is angling the computer towards you and you can vaguely hear KK over the computer screaming, “Screenshot it!” – which makes you laugh, because you know they’d have your back. Always.

You step down, degree in hand, and Paige grins at you with that soft, cheeky, scrunchy look of hers. You roll your eyes, the tears surging forward again and you wrap your arms around her tightly, burying your face in her neck and letting it all out. And when your parents step forward, too, wrapping the both of you in a large, crushing hug, you weren’t too sure how you were supposed to keep it together at all.

Graduation wasn’t how you thought it would be, but the knowledge that your family got to see you walk across the stage means everything to you.

You’ve accomplished one dream, and now, it’s time for the next.

[klysanderelias]

I realized I haven't talked about it yet, but I finished my second game of Eureka, doing The Rot of Osborne Estate! It ended up taking about 4 sessions, 15-16 hours in total, and it was such a good experience.

No spoilers for the module, but I had a really great time running it! I specifically tried to avoid doing any prep or rewriting for the module, and while that definitely made me feel underprepared coming into each session, I think it really shows the strength of the Eureka philosophy. The modules are meant to allow narrators to avoid having to make most decisions on the fly, and to give enough framework to be able to run it 'out of the box' so to speak.

And I think it really worked - I've always treated DnD/Pathfinder adventure modules as things that inherently need to be rewritten, as a skeleton or toolbox for me to build a specific instance out of. It's always been a process of stripping a pre-written adventure down for parts and spending hours turning it into something serviceable, and this was the first time I haven't done that and came away feeling really happy about the game I ran.

Partially that's because the system is set up to organically produce plot beats based off of character choices, but also because modules are written AS a toolbox instead of a railroad-y series of setpieces for players to be led through. I don't have to figure out what happens if x instead of y, or what to do if neither my players nor I want to do z, because none of that is written into the resource.

I've been complaining about the writing of starfinder adventure paths for a minute but I'll do it again here - the most recent one I played was so egregious as to literally say to the GM 'regardless of what the players do, this result has to occur' as well as having fights that were like 'if the players kill the monster too fast, just adjust the HP as necessary to get the right feel for the encounter' which as a player, had me tearing my hair out in frustration.

And Eureka has the robust mechanics to let you say 'look if the investigators don't find everything in this room, that's fine' and let them bounce around from location to location, NPC to NPC, and piece things together at their own pace.

And I was really happy with how things played out - my players never felt stymied or lost, always having some other lead to pursue or some goal directly in front of them, and I never felt pressure to put out the carrot on the stick or otherwise massage things to move the game along.

The investigators ended up in a couple of really climactic moments that killed one of them near the end of the module, and I'm so excited to hear from other groups how their games go because there are so many ways to get from point a to point z, but also because each group of investigators might radically change the plot of the adventure.

Overall I'm really proud of my players, especially since it was their first time with the Eureka system, but also of the module writer, CoffeeWolf. I think they really knocked it out of the park and wrote a wonderful module. Unfortunately having run it I'm not able to play in it (since of course there is a core mystery with a correct answer that I know), but I'm looking forward to getting to run it again for other players.

I'm definitely looking forward to running more Eureka games because it's such a fucking relief from a lot of the systems I've been playing in for the last, like, decade. Not only do the players have agency, but as a GM I'm super fucking excited to run every module because I have no idea how things will turn out! Usually, it's reading through the book and seeing all the setpieces methodically planned out, and at best that means you get to go 'oh wow the players are going to think that this story is so cool', and not 'there is a world of possibility open to them and I'm so excited to see what they choose to do first'. Even for adventures I've already run, there's a lot of replay value because different players will run different investigators who will do different things, and I've already heard stories about other games that went radically different from mine even though it's still the same module.

There's a lot of systems and design philosophy like PbtA that say 'figure the story out as you go' and I think that gets you to the point of 'wow I can't wait to see what the players choose to do next' but you never get that hanging payoff that you can see getting closer every session, y'know? Like, watching people figure out a mystery is such a fucking joy, and maybe it's just the caliber of players who are in the Eureka servers but I've been so blown away by how friendly and skilled all of them are.

I cannot recommend enough the @anim-ttrpgs book club or patreon servers, they're both full of wonderful people and I've been having such a great time playing games but also just hanging out and making friends.

[little-one-eyed-monsters]

A hot take on Mame Orawan's lead casting choices

I have so many problems with Mame (of MeMindY)'s writing, screenplay and directing in general (and not even on the tropes, just on pacing and consistency)...

But as a Casting Director, she is AMAZING at making sure her couples have chemistry.

I'm not even on LITA levels yet. I'm talking about the OG Love By Chance.

This post was prompted after I went on socials recently and saw Saint Suppapong's new bl partner for his industry comeback. The new guy Poom is a cute, solid choice. Out of nostalgia, I also went back and rewatched a few episodes of Why R U, and I thought Zee and Saint were cool, too. I think Saint improved a lot. I remember thinking the same thing when I watched Perth and Chimon's bl series, then again after watching Perth and Santa's storyline in Perfect 10 Liners the series. They're cool.

But that's just it. They're all just cool. The series just didn't stand out to me. I could remember the plot well enough, but man, would I recommend it? Honestly, no.

And besides a good plot (which some series don't have the luxury of having), I really think it boils down to how believable the actors were in playing lovers who actually... loved each other. Felt genuine passion for each other. Their chemistry.

And I think this is what makes Mame special (and why her shows can go against big hitters from GMMTV and bigger Thai channels)

If someone gave me individual headshots of Saint and Perth (both gorgeous actors), or showed me videos of them acting in different films and told me they'd pair up, I'd say it wouldn't work. This was the first poster of LBC I saw:

And it was a NO for me. The body language, the setup, all screamed rookie (and they were at the time). I didn't like the trailer much either.

But damn once I gave the series a chance (ha), these two carried that script on their shoulders. I love rewatching LBC just to see Saint and Perth stare at each other and give everyone and their mom butterflies-- something that I think is missing in their later works.

(Seriously though, to this day I still don't know what the plot's supposed to be. There's a toxic ex-boyfriend somewhere?)

Anyway...

Of course, Tharntype's plot and pacing was problematic as all heck (and the fandom is even more bonkers. And I can say that, I was a loyal member of this fandom for years). But my gosh Mew and Gulf did genuinely look like they fell in love on that set. I mean WHAT WAS THIS?!

No offense to both Mew and Gulf, I'm sure they're both talented actors. But I honestly believe chemistry like this goes beyond any acting skill. You mean to tell me actors can do this??? Have this much chemistry then go home to their respective SOs like it's no big deal? How do you DO that?

(Double whammy since Mew and Gulf had the same level of chemistry on Tharntype 2, even though apparently they weren't on good terms during filming. Go figure.)

(I couldn't bring myself to put Don't Say No here. I tried, I really did. That one was just a miss for Mame overall)

And I know only two people and the cast watched Wedding Plan (I am KIDDING, please don't come after me SunnyPak fans), but once I gave it a chance, I also found that the leads played well off of each other.

Shame about the plot though. They REALLY needed stronger actors to save that premise.

FortPeat are just mythic level at the chemistry game though. I don't really like Peat's acting style in both LITA and Love Sea (again, no offense to Peat. I honestly think he just hasn't found the right role for him yet. He has a bite and nuance that doesn't really fit the characters Mame keeps giving him), but him and Fort play absolutely convincing lovers.

Y'all have no chill. Keep doing that.

But of course, Mame struck diamonds with Boss and Noeul.

These two are the very definition of chemistry and sexual tension. They play off of each other so well viewers are asking for MORE love scenes instead of the usual complaining about the oversexualization of bls. I think that's the highest compliment any bl actor can get at this point. And I honestly don't know what these two are to each other, and frankly, I don't need to know. I just need them to keep making shows.

And all this to say, I think what makes Mame an expert at this genre is because absent of a good plot, she makes sure that her actors are not afraid to just... touch each other. And not even from a sexual sense, I'm talking about casual touches here. These actors are given the freedom to move their hands and fiddle with their partner's hair and fingers and shirts. They randomly lay their heads on each other's shoulders and wrap their arms around each other without prompting. A more experienced filmmaker wouldn't allow any movement that may disrupt the overall vision and script (especially considering that most of these actors are rookies), but Mame lets her actors get free reign over their interactions on camera. In other words, she just tells them to do what lovers ought to do.

It adds a touch of realism, I think. Lovers don't think about when they have to hold hands. They don't think twice about bumping shoulders or teasing a person they already sleep with. They don't notice the small touches because everything is familiar. Her (lead) actors get the same stage direction: act like you actually WANT each other. And it works.

To be fair, I don't think this is unique to Mame. Mandee Channel (Domundi) also does the same thing with their couples. My only issue with Mandee is that aside from the shows of their two main couples ZeeNunew and MaxNat, the rest of their leads get ZERO PLOT in their shows (I'm looking at you, Battle of the Writers. You were especially difficult). At least Mame TRIES to have a good enough plot for her shows.

And if nothing else, I hope more casting directors follow in Mame's footsteps (but just for that one. Don't follow anything else)

(Also, I hope Mame can fix her second lead problems. Please don't bother adding side couples if you don't know what to do with them).

Anyway, this is in response to my anxiety over waiting for the TBNW finale. Thanks for coming to this long TED talk.

[ben-talks-art]

Mel being able to do magic... Kinda bothers me

Something that I used to find really cool about Mel was how she was the Sokka of Arcane.

She was that character who didn't have amazing powers or skills like everyone else but she had a kind heart and a good vision on how to put people's powers and skills to good use.

The same way Sokka in Avatar would look at his friends and form a plan on how to take down a giant drill to save the day, Mel would look at the stuff Jayce and Viktor could come up with and think of ways on how it could help others, all for the sake of creating a place that didn't had to rely on violence to solve things like her mother's land.

Look at the way she looks at Jayce and Viktor after they managed to crack down magic runes.

It's like a blend of a proud parent seeing her kids accomplish what she knew they could accomplish, a sense of relief from knowing that her plans to create an advanced society that doesn't need to rely in strength but can instead rely on magic tech is coming closer to reality, and maybe even a bit of calculation, already thinking of ways how this new discovery can be used for the benefit of others in ways she probably always wanted to do but never could because she lakced the means... and now she might have these means!

It's such a kind look in her gaze that tells so much about her and about how she feels about this whole situation.

In contrast, I love how in season 2 she sees that Jayce, Caitlyn, and Vi have given up on trying to be the good guys and decided to use hextech to fight back, and you can see the horror on her face upon realizing her efforts were in vain and that now this place was going to rely on violence as a solution as well. She was about to relive the same nightmare she did as a child.

It's so tragic because in season 1 she suggested they might need to make weapons in case they need to defend themselves, but now actually seeing it and realizing they're about to not just defend but start and attack must have filled her with so much regret.

There was something so engaging about her drama and conflict, wondering how she was going to fight for her beliefs, trying to prove there could still be a way to bring things back to a peaceful diplomatic route. Or heck, maybe she would need to just be strong and endure it as when the others started to realize the violent methods were going too far she would have to be the one to remind them they could still go back.

There was potential for a good character moment here, have Mel face the fact she couldn't prevent what she wanted to avoid, but could still be there for when they needed to go back to reason...

But then they just throw her in a cave for part of the season, isolating her from other characters, and only let her out after she turns into Jean Grey or something.

I really didn't like this...

The character who was associated with being a diplomat, being logical, being able to solve problems with her intelligence and kindness without the need for power or strength... Now has literal magic plot armor and was throwing hands with her mother.

Not a big fan of this fight overall. Again, to me she was like the "Sokka" of Arcane, the one who uses her brain to bring out everyone's full potential.

I feel it would be much more cool if we had scenes of Mel talking with the other characters, getting familiar with what they could do, and then coming up with plans and strategies to help in the final battle.

Or heck, what if she had figured out who the traitors were and managed to use that to their advantage?

Or if maybe we had Jayce secretly building a hextech item just for her that managed to help her somehow overcome Ambessa and her men, maybe a giant flashlight hidden in a small device or something to blind the enemies, I don't know, just something...

I was just a bit underwhelmed by the route they took with Mel. Visually, her powers look really really cool, but it kinda took away some things I really liked about her.

[sapphosscribe]

Great answer about how you manage to write consistently. Um, just one question - how do you write with ADHD? Maybe it's just me, but sometimes when I try to write it just comes out unnatural, I don't know where I'm going with my thoughts (even when I know exactly what I want to describe sometimes the words just won't come together) or I'm just describing without putting emotions in. And after like 20 minutes of doing so I MUST switch to a YouTube video, preferably a MV/performance video.

Also a huge issue for me - I feel like if I just sit down to do it then I'll forget that everything else around me exists and I just... Won't do the "necessary shit" (aka school/job, chores, etc.), but I still procrastinate on Necessary Shit™ and end up doomwatching YouTube. It's like I'm afraid to live my life to the fullest just to do this exact thing, but if at least feels safer??? Hate it!

This is SOOO relatable 😫.

Honestly trying to do ANYTHING with ADHD is not for the faint of heart.

Planning, planning, planning. I CANNOT stress enough how insanely helpful it is for me to have not only a plan for the story, but a plan for each individual chapter.

I try to aim for the sweet spot between planning so intricately there’s no room to let it breathe and just allowing the characters to do whatever to the degree I’ve completely lost the plot 😂😂.

I’d say the issues you’re having with describing without emotions or rambling is something I resolve in two different ways.

1) I look to my characters. Just like real life, no one in the scene is just standing around existing. They have their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations about what’s going on around them. I refer to this in my head as letting the story breathe. The characters often have a mind of their own. Sometimes I’ll realize that, based on something already established about their background, they’d be acting in a certain way or do something different then what I have planned and it helps make it feel more authentic. Keeping in mind what your characters want and what they’re actively trying to achieve in each scene can help with descriptors.

2) This might be a hot take but, honestly, let yourself ramble. Sometimes I’ll think I’m saying way too much much stuff in a chapter or the pacing is off, then I’ll go back and read it and it’s perfectly fine. I think of it like cooking food. It can take over an hour to bake something and it feels exhausting and like you’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way, but it’s just because you’re standing there measuring things out and adding ingredients. When you actually TASTE what you’ve cooked it all blends together into something much simpler.

No matter what you say, you can always clean it up in editing. The first draft is just you telling yourself the story and even if some of it turns out not to be usuable, you’ve probably learned something about your characters that will help you write them better later on.

This might also sound really weird but the way I structure my chapters and story follows the formula you might use to write an essay 😂😂

Before I do anything else with my story. I pick a theme, something that I’m trying to say/prove, the point of the whole thing, and I treat the rest of the story as evidence for that theme.

Each Act is a big piece of ‘evidence’ to support my theme and then each chapter in the arc follows emotional and plot beats to create that evidence.

Since Act 1 is already over I can use it as an example, though I’m not giving away the story’s overall theme. You can figure that out.😉

My big piece of evidence in Act 1 or my ‘big thought’ that connects to the main theme is “Bill’s current moral bankruptcy isn’t from a place of outright malice, but unprocessed trauma”. Then I planned out the structure to prove it: Bill crashing out spectacularly while trapped in human form by self harming, his relationship with Mabel forming transactionally, Bill trying to control Ford because Bill feels like he needs that to feel secure rather than having an equal partnership, The Axolotl and the first few flashbacks giving context to some of Bill’s actions, and closing out with the big moment between Ford and Bill at the party where he admits he cares about Ford for more than just what he could get from him.

Once I’m satisfied that I’m building the story toward what I’m trying to prove. I move on to the next section. So that’s my wild scientific method approach to big writing projects or even small ones!

As for the “forgetting to do necessary shit”. I set timers for how long I’m going to do what I’m doing and, once they go off, I give myself a few minutes to finish up whatever I’m working on and switch tasks. You can also use this in other areas of life. It’s been super helpful for me when balancing out work and leisure, but if it doesn’t work for you that’s fine too. Everyone’s different.

Procrastinating on “Necessary but unpleasant shit” I try to minimize by making it fun somehow. I plan my schedule a day in advance so I know what’s coming and if it’s a task I find difficult I try to add some element of fun to it. I turn on music or an audiobook when I clean and cook or wear an outfit that makes me feel good. I personally HATE exercising, so I bought a tiny treadmill and instead of sitting watching tv in the evenings, I put the tiny treadmill down and walk on it while watching something I like.

I also try to reframe thinking about the things I don’t want to do in a positive way. Folding the laundry means I get it out of my chair I like to sit in and read books. Vacuuming the floor is getting rid of bad energy and making the carpet soft again. Try to approach things as an adventure rather than a chore. Some stuff can be harder than others to grapple with, but, to quote the jogging Monkey in Bojack Horseman “Every day it gets a little easier, but you’ve got to do it every day. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”

Not to get all philosophical, but we only do have this one life. Even if it’s quiet and ordinary or hard sometimes, it’s better to try not to hate it or see just going through your day as something to dread. I’ve found that there’s actually a lot of tiny little things to love around every corner if you go looking for them.

If new things are making you uncomfortable, try what I like to call ‘safe spontaneity’. If I get unsatisfied with what I’m doing I’ll do something small that’s new and adds variety. Try out a new restaurant or a new type of food for one meal. Take 30min-1hr to learn about something that interests you outside of what you normally look at (I say having just finished two documentaries about Oceangate 😅😅). Find tiny ways to switch things up so you still have predictably and structure, but you add something new and grow your world a tiny bit more. Even if you end up hating whatever it is, at least you know you don’t like it and not to do it again! Allow yourself to grow and change at your own pace 🥰💗💗.

This was REALLY long and probably too much information, but I hope it helped!

@anon-22866634

[ofliterarynature]

MARCH 2025 WRAP UP

[ loved liked okay nope dnf (reread) book club* ]

The Blue Castle • (The Witness for the Dead) • Sorcery and Small Magics • (The Grief of Stones) • Heartless • Masquerade in Lodi • Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender* • The Tomb of Dragons • The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics • The Island of Dr. Moreau • The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher • Service Model • Penric's Mission • The Tea Dragon Society • Nabokov's Favorite Word is Mauve

* * * * *

The Blue Castle - I haven't read any of Montgomery's work since Anne in high school so I was definitely curious how this would go. I did enjoy reading it? Conceptually it's great, I absolutely loved this browbeaten young spinster get a (seemingly) fatal diagnosis and say, "To hell with it! What has behaving ever gotten me anyway!" and then proceed to have the time of her life. Extremely lucky for her that everything worked out well in the end. Certainly had a pleasant time reading it, but I don't think it hit me much deeper than that.

The Witness for the Dead - reread for the third or fourth time I think? Honestly I think this might still be my favorite in the series, probably because the fanfic writers really took it and ran with it in some incredible directions, which in many ways has definitely blunted any disappointments I may have had with the other books. Surprisingly this was only my second time reading The Grief of Stones, which I really had meant to reread before this. Tonally this is a much darker and tense book for me - not that murder isn't dark, but the plot revolving around pornography and the exploitation of women and girls, and Thara's not-quite helplessness when it's technically out of his jurisdiction - this really isn't an easy read and even this time left my stomach in knots. (side note: much kudos to the producer or whoever on the audiobooks, I couldn't tell you the last time I had an audiobook so perfectly paced that I didn't need to speed up past 1x)

Sorcery and Small Magics: honestly, pretty meh for me for most of the book, but the relationship drama did finally hook me a bit in the end? If the next book had already been out I probably would have read it, but idk about waiting. I wish the boys the best on figuring their shit out.

Heartless - I was only so-so on this series to begin with and was mostly reading it as something silly to lighten the mood, but this one was absolutely meh. It felt very repetitive and I don't plan on finishing the series.

Masquerade in Lodi - maybe not my favorite Penric book, but still fun and a nicely self-contained mystery!

Before We Were Trans - god!!! This is unfortunately the type of nonfiction that falls out of my head as soon as I've read it, but it was so fascinating! Basically, real world examples of things I like reading about most in queer fiction. Definitely hope to read again and retain a bit more.

The Tomb of Dragons - very much enjoyed reading this! Tonally it reminded me more of the first book rather than the second, which made me very happy. Not to mention Maia!!! I'm not pleased with every decision Addison made (and if you've looked at reviews you probably know which parts), but overall I'm fairly content (and also because there's fanfiction). The main thing that bugs me IS the end, because I'm very unhappy that Thara didn't get to leave Amalo under his own volition. Boo. I can't decide if I'd want another book or not.

The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics - finally got around to finishing this, I'd read about a third of it a few years ago as an ebook. I remember really liking it then, but as an audiobook in its entirely it was just ok. The romance didn't really suck me in and I think I was most interested in the embroidery and astronomy; and even there the plot was pretty thin.

The Island of Dr Moreau - I've been meaning to read this for a while, since it was the only major literary reference in The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter that I hadn't read. Hated it! I only finished it because it was so short.

The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher - another one that I'd partially read before on ebook, now finished on audio, and liked it a lot more the first time 🥲 For one, the audiobook was definitely not professional quality, it was very amateur, but got the job done. Otherwise, idk, it's definitely in the vein of "cozy fantasy," but doing a bit more in a way that I did find more readable than usual, but it still didn't quite work for me. Trying to decide if I want to read the author's new book or not.

Service Model - I really liked the beginning of this, and if I could rate it solely on the author's ability to write robots working themselves in circles until they get stuck I would give it 10/5, I really wanted to go bang my head against a wall in like, delight? Lol. The rest of the book was good, in a satire and allegory way, but not exactly what I was looking for. It felt smarter than me for sure.

Penric's Mission - the start to a new multi-book story arc that I'm currently in the middle of and liking very much! (And which introduces a reoccurring female character who gets to be a narrator, which Bujold really doesn't allow enough of in this series.)

The Tea Dragon Society - super cute and touching, but so short that I didn't really have time to get invested in it. Donated my copy to my friend's kids, who I hope will like it.

DNF

Nabokov's Favorite Word is Mauve - this one got a lot of positive interest in the TBR Takedown so I will just say - bad choice for audiobook! It references a lot of charts and graphs, and while it did its best to describe them, it just wasn't working. I don't think I'm invested enough to pick this up in print.

[celestie0]

ellie's beta reader application

hi friends!! i am looking for beta readers for my jjk fanfics :"0 i just reaaallyyy want to get back into writing n stuffs but have been struggling w motivation/confidence so i feel like having beta readers would make it nicer n easier aaa :'')

here are the stories that i'm looking for beta readers for, plus a little blurb about what the beta readers' role/input would be for each, but in general you’d basically be reading thru my chapter, leaving comments/notes w suggestions or reactions, and help me work out any plot-related struggles i may be having :)

please read all of the text below before sending me an ask

kickoff - looking for two beta readers

early access to drafted chapters. read through for clarity & prose. may run by some ideas by the beta readers, but for the most part i have the rest of kickoff set in stone!

in holy matriphony - looking for two beta readers

early access to drafted chapters, as well as my upcoming plans for the series. i have most of ihm set in stone as well, but may just need some help with making sure things flow well since the plot's a lil jumbled in my head!

around the clock - looking for two beta readers

early access to drafted chapters. i don't really have much planned for this series, so i would like to get some help w planning the rest of it! i anticipate 4ish parts, and i'm really just looking to have some fun w this one :)

if the world was ending - looking for two beta readers

early access to drafted chapters. i am kinda struggling with the overall plan i have for this series, as i have the first and last chapters mostly finished, but need help figuring out some of the in between

additionally, all my beta readers will have early access to any other oneshots, drabbles, mini series that i come up with down the line, and can also help me come up with additional plotlines/tropes from the ones i've brainstormed for those more independent works. there won't be any crossover for the series though, meaning that if you've been selected as a beta reader for "in holy matriphony", i won't be sharing drafted chapters/ideas for any of my other series to you

requirements to be a beta reader

must be 18+ years old

must be ok w spoilers for any of my works

must be an active reader of mine

must be proficient in english

must have a discord account

should not be a fellow fanfic author

must not share any of my drafted materials/ideas to others

how to apply

to apply, please first ensure that you satisfy the requirements listed above, and then send me an ask off of anon that answers the questions below (don't worry, i won't be publicly responding to/posting any of the asks to my feed, i just need your username so i can message you!)

i will close applications in 2-3 days!

beta reader application template

list your age:

how long have you been a reader of mine:

rank your preference of fics that you would like to beta read for (for example, kickoff > ihm > atc > itwwe):

for those who have listed "kickoff" or "in holy matriphony" as either your first or second choice, please briefly list 2-3 scenes from each series that are your favorite or were memorable to you (i just wanna make sure you're an active/engaged reader w a good understanding of the plots! the scenes can be briefly listed such as “hotel room scene” for kickoff or “kitchen kiss scene” for ihm. if both series are in your top two, please list scenes for each of them, but if neither are in your top two, then you can ignore this question):

anything else you would like me to know (optional):

please list your discord username:

and that's it! i will message you here on tumblr for further steps :) aaa i hope this is successful hahah and in general i'm really excited to more closely interact w some of you guys :'') i will make a lil discord group for us hehe. tbh getting beta reader(s) has been loooong overdue for me but i'm looking forward to it n think it will be good for me! much love <3 feel free to reach out w any questions :0

[mortish-writes]

Something that I've been meaning to do (and just haven't gotten around to yet for some reason) is to compliment you on putting varying lore drops in each route. I know a lot of IF writers complain that they write several novels worth of words, but many players play the game once before dropping it so they experience only a fraction of the game's overall content. I'm usually a player who has one personal canon route and I don't often feel the need to deviate much outside of it. The lore differing between routes is a clever way to get players like me to experience more of your work!

And since I have played at least most of the routes, it's had me wanting to ask why Serax's behavior with Unaligned Zealot the morning after the incident in Meyrrvik seems different from his treatment of Aligned Zealot and Non-NSFW Heretic despite similar events at about the same approval level. (At least, I think so -- if there's alternate dialogue in that scene for Unaligned, I haven't managed to unlock it.) I refrained because I figured it would be too spoilery and Night VI is not super far away so I should see if it's answered there. Serax's PoV made the implications around that question even juicier than before, though… 👀

Firstly, thank you! Second, two reasons.

One is a little more obvious in that the more the story advances, the more I try to add nuance in how the guys react to her. A big difference between the first few nights is that S&V are mostly certain the Zealot MC is a Vestal of Dawn and the Heretic MC is a lady of the evening. It's why they're a bit more closed-off with her in the Heretic run, at least initially. Not necessarily because they think her profession is shameful but because it's a profession predicated on lies/deception/seduction. Val is more 50/50 that she might be telling the truth, but Serax is like 95% sure she's acting, at least up until the Night V reveals, but even then...well, you'll have to wait and see.

Two is that I view each scene as an accumulation of the scenes that came before it, so even if the last couple of scenes are identical across the two routes, I might be considering a conversation they had on Night II that might make Serax/Val say something different.

Okay, actually there are three, and this one is huge. Every scene I write is based off a draft of all three POVs, not just the MC's. Serax and Valdricht are constantly having conversations that the MC is oblivious to via their mental connection. It's something you'll see a lot during the alternate POV scenes and I think there will be a lot of aha! moments. That said, I know it's kind of unfair because there's no way as a player to know that early on. That's a big reason I plan on tailoring the alternate POV scenes into the game because they add so much to the overall narrative.

Right now I have a conflict in that certain things that were major plot twists in my novel drafts are laid out early on for the sake of pacing, while other things that weren't intended to be twists such as Serax's whole vibe were supposed to be revealed in the first chapter of the first novel. Like I mentioned (i think) in a comment on Patreon, the OG Serax/MC storyline is a straight up enemies to lovers romance where Serax is more or less the antagonist for the first book and then (naturally) falls hard for her, while Valdricht/MC is a fated mates type story that is just everything, and all wrapped in this caustic but emotionally rich poly relationship. It's been a bit of a challenge to adapt that in a way where the IF players don't hate Serax at the start or crush too hard on Valdricht, so that's also jumbled the narrative a bit. I'm really looking forward to going back through with a fine-tooth comb after Night VII and finding ways to smooth out progression/lore drops and add more clarity, so this feedback is so helpful. Let's be real, your feedback is always golden.

[corisanna]

If it's okay to ask, how far are we into ANAI's overall story at this point? About halfway? Less? More? Because the beginning of the story suggests there being 53 other resets, but I'm assuming we're not going to see them all. Sorry if this has been asked before.

Hmmmmm. It's kind of hard to say. Part of it depends on if you're measuring by time elapsed in-story, volume of writing to convey that, or some other metric. It also depends on whether I decide to keep or discard some plot threads as seems appropriate as I write, because I have always made adjustments as I go due to what I'm writing making me examine cause and effect more. There's also the fact that I'm tinkering with my original plans from almost ten years ago due to having further thought about it and figuring out different/quicker/better solutions to problems and things that require more support. I think I should have used a third variable instead of 54 to give myself more flexibility to be longer or shorter. Scolding 2015 Cori.

Timeline x+n+1 is taking a long time due to setting up so many details and framework. Timeline x+n+2 is also likely to take awhile. I think I might be able to montage/skip around timelines after that up to the penultimate or ultimate timeline taking longer again, but I have to see how things fall.

The thing about ANAI's original planning is that it was made as a loose outline with plot points that need to be reached through a landscape of details, but the route through them was not 100% set in stone. It was intended to be just something for me to play with kinda informally before it blew up in popularity. I'm trying to set the path more solidly.

[cataclysmiccal]

New Mutants (2009) Issues #6-8

The conclusion of Necrosha! Doug is officially back. These are like the gayest moments ever for Doug and Warlock. Shoutout to Zeb Welles for writing such a good New Mutants book. I don’t plan on re-reading it for this, since I’m mostly reading random one off appearances i hadn’t read.

S.W.O.R.D. (2010) Issue #3

All extraterrestrials are being deported from earth, so that includes Warlock. This is probably an interesting story but I don’t care enough about space stuff to read the rest of this series (my apathy for sci-fi has been quite the obstacle towards enjoyment of comics). Important things to note:

1. The cover is Lockheed holding guns, that’s hilarious

2. Beast has a wild design, he looks like an sphinx (in a bad way)

3. Doug and Warlock were totally on a date

X-Men: Second Coming

I’m not super into this story overall but it’s cool Doug’s got a big part. I wish they had explored what it’s like to go from being revived to a suicide mission but there isn’t much time for character moments in this story. Additionally they don’t really linger on Warlock killing people and what that means for their relationship. It’s obviously tense after this but the New Mutants have the whole Inferno thing to deal with.

Side note: I’m skipping over New Mutants (2009) because I just re-read it but I’m a big fan of the Inferno babies plot line and the Truefriend plot. I honestly think all the Truefriend stuff is some of the most important part of Doug’s character from this point forward.

X-Men: To Serve and Protect

I think they stretched Doug’s power too much during this period. There’s a point in New Mutants where he eats a cupcake and can figure out the recipe??? Like the idea of what is and isn’t a language is very wishy washy in these books. The idea of a city having it’s own language is interesting and nothing new but that having crime-fighting uses is a stretch. Also the idea that crime or terrorism not being a part of that language is odd. Because in that case what is and isn’t part of the language of the city? Are people who recently moved part of the language? What about new buildings? Do suburbs have their own language? Does a city need to be a certain size to have a language? Could Doug be the best urban planner ever since he can literally ask the city what it needs? I’m going on a tangent… Anyway I think they stretch Doug’s abilities in these books solely to make him useful. I’m all for interesting takes on what would and wouldn’t be possible but I think it is better when done out of curiosity towards “What is this characters capable of and what do their powers mean” instead of “We brought this guy back from the dead, we have to justify that.” I think with Krakoa they hit a nice balance.

[le-trash-prince]

Kenta

Okay. It is once again time for me to talk about my number one little man. I was interested in Kenta from the very beginning, and at some point I realized that I was not going to be normal about him, but I really did not anticipate how much he would come to mean to me. I hope y'all have enjoyed witnessing my descent into feral blorbo state. It is not over for me in the slightest.

I want to say that Garfield really acted the shit out of this role, and the writers knew what they were doing when they cast him. His arc was so important to the overall plot, with his growth being pivotal to Tony's downfall, and yet he had a relatively small amount of dialogue to work with (although certainly not the smallest amount of the cast).

A lot of his scenes involve him standing in Tony's office, taking instructions, or even just simply observing. A lot of his lines are based around business deals and errands—rather than furthering his emotional development. He doesn't give big speeches, he doesn't talk about his feelings or his dreams, it's always just "I'm doing xyz for Tony, and I will never betray him."

Some of his most dialogue heavy scenes are in one stairwell with Pete and in another with Tony, which I think are extremely pivotal moments, both of which reveal a fear of abandonment.

But it's honestly when he's quiet that he says the most.

And I love that, I'm obsessed with it. I love that the whole fandom could insantly tell that he and Pete had something going on, just from the way they looked at each other. I love that the storytelling in his arc was so highly visual.

In the beginning, Kenta appears to be nothing more than Tony's lackey: quiet, intimidating, and actively complicit with what is going on.

But as we see him more and more, it becomes exceedingly apparent that he cares, so much. I know I am biased in saying this, but I do also pay close attention to what other people are saying about Kenta, and I know almost everyone has been waiting the entire series to see him stand up to Tony. The amount of acting that Garfield did with his eyes, while remaining such a stoic character, was insane.

Despite him repeatedly declaring his loyalty to Tony, despite the fact that he does not reveal any actions against Tony until episode 12, we feel so much of his inner conflict.

I think for me, personally, the aspect of Kenta's character that I relate to the most is his inability to speak up when he wants to. I've struggled with selective mutism my entire life, and there have been countless, countless scenarios where I've had so many things to say and no ability to say them. The more dire the situation, the more my words fail me. I have to spend so much of my energy constantly planning for potential conflict scenarios just so I can have the time I need to figure out which words to use. Because it can sometimes take months for me to figure out certain phrases. And because it is so painful to stay silent when you want to tell someone to stop. To stop fighting, to stop hurting each other, to stop hurting me.

So I was beyond moved and proud to watch Kenta finally be able to protect his brothers and quietly say the one thing he has wanted to say all along.

Don't hurt anyone anymore.

Don't hurt anyone anymore.

Don't hurt anyone anymore.

I will take some of the words that P'Chod gave to Garfield before they went into production. "It’s just you want to live in a peaceful house and be happy together.” All we want is peace.

I wish that Kenta had not been forced to kill Tony because I don't think he has ever wanted to hurt anyone. But I'm sure as hell not sorry that he did it. There will always be people who are unwilling to stop.

And I recognize that Kenta tried a peaceful method first. He gave X-Hunter what they needed to put Tony in jail, and Tony refused to give up. He was never going to be the kind of person who would simply surrender. To him, these people's lives are property that he is entitled to.

Here is an auto translation of something Garfield said about Kenta at the final episode screening.

"I already knew that Kenta would be similar to me, in that I'm someone who doesn't dare to express my feelings to the people around me, saying very little. So when I got the role, I felt… that it teaches us that as long as we dare to be ourselves and do things that make us happy, that's enough."

We may never know what happened to Kenta after Tony died, but I hope he is able to find his peace. I hope he is able to engage with restorative justice, and I hope he is able to learn what family really should be.

And I hope that someone, anyone, will give him a goddamned hug.

the first shot / the last shot

Thank you, Kenta, from the bottom of my heart, for showing us yours.

[nerdieforpedro]

The Intended determines their Meaning

Javier Gutierrez x plus size female reader

My blog overall is for readers 18+. MDNI

Word Count: 1271

Summary: Javier is following through on what his team has proposed optics wise. He’s bought her flowers to illustrate their partnership. The twist? The events of tonight lead him to follow a different plan altogether.

Warnings: Plots by PR teams, ghosts for dates, angst if you squint, bad jokes (did I write it if there’s not at least one?), Javi G being charming and adorable, honorable mention of Javi G’s orange/red shirt from TUWOMT (the debate of that shirt’s true color continues this very day)

Notes: An entry for @morallyinept ‘s Jett’s Flora & Fauna Challenge. I was surprised to have an idea for it but it turns out chatting with your friends in Discord gets the juices flowing. Plus my wonderful friend Grace came up with the initial idea and we each wrote our own versions. This one is mine. I looked up the meaning of the red peonies Pedro was holding in that shot of him and Dakota Johnson for “The Materialists.” I don’t know the name of the character so this said Javi G to me.

Main Masterlist/ Javier Gutierrez Masterlist

This was supposed to be their third date. She was everything that his PR team said he needed for optics right now. Not too young, an actress that people recognize if they think about it for a minute and she’s thin. It’s not Javier Gutierrez’s first preference, but she was nice and their teams worked well together. 

At least he thought she was nice until tonight. It’s an hour after they were supposed to have their date. No calls, no texts, no one from her team saying why she’s not here. He’d bought her an ivory vase with two full bouquets of red peonies in full bloom. He figured it would be a good move to bring these as both teams had agreed to make their relationship public after leaking a few photos on instagram. A curious financially beneficial union that should be a happy life.

Javi’s heart isn’t in this, but he’s beholden to the public eye and their opinions. He’d rather date women that had more substance to them, both to talk about and to them. 

He continues to sit and wait, not expecting her to come after this long. Should he just leave? He decides to check his phone one more time before finishing off his third glass of red wine. His eyes gaze forward and he sees her. Not the woman he was expecting, but a woman who he’d truly want.

She’s sitting at a small table that’s a mirror of his, her hair in a updo with small silver clips holding it up. Her dress is a deep violet, off her shoulders with a deep V exposing much of her cleavage. From what he can see, the dress may have an asymmetrical cut as much of her thick legs are exposed. Her face is downcast similar to his. She may have been waiting for someone too. Javi wonders if she was stood up as well. 

Hey, I don’t see a second place setting. Is she alone too? Maybe we can be alone together. If she would like, if the woman my team doesn’t want anything to do with me, doesn’t that mean I should find someone I would want to be with?

Javier asks the waiter to give her another glass of whatever she was drinking. It looked like a red wine, he wasn’t sure if it was one different from his. He watched as she looks very confused and is trying to tell the waiter that she didn’t order anything like that.

“Oh no ma’am it’s paid for. The gentleman over there sent it.” The waiter explains and points to Javier. He gives a small wave with a matching smile. She smiles back and waives but almost knocks over her wine glass. Thankfully, she catches it and none of it spills. She laughs at herself and apologizes to the waiter, he looked like he was going to cry as he had his hands raised like he was being robbed.

Well she accepted, I think I’ll go over. Say hello in person. She seems sweet and fun. God, I miss having fun. Dating was supposed to fun at some point.

“You’re too stunning to not have something of equal beauty with you at the table.” Gutierrez leads with as he stands opposite her at the table. “Order what you like hermosa. They’ll let me know the tab. Enjoy yourself.” His wide smile never left his face as she watched him walk over, and hand her a large bouquet of red flowers. They’re not roses, she’s seen them before and just doesn’t remember the name. 

“Thank you. For the flowers and the wine.” She stands and Javi takes a step back to see the rest of her: wide stomach and hips with the dress indeed has an asymmetrical cut that goes to the top of her thigh. Across her stomach is a rhinestone butterfly, the tops of the wings cup the bottoms of her breasts as he attempts not to stare. Her lips are a blood orange that reminds him of one of his favorite leisure shirts to wear when he’s home in Spain. Thankfully he was looking at her lips when she spoke so he would pay attention. “I didn’t want to eat alone. Did you want to sit with me? What’s your name?” 

“Javier Gutierrez, honored to make your acquaintance. May I know yours cariño (sweetheart)?” He extends his hand and she shakes it, unsure if it’s the wine or maybe that he just happy he’s not alone and she wants him to sit with her. He pulls out her chair for her to sit and pushes it in as she gives him her name in response. Once he sits, he gets settled and watches as she fixes her napkin back in her lap and takes another sip of her wine. Whispering “perfecto!” under his breath. 

They chat over their shared experience tonight of being stood up. It turns out, hers was a fifth date after a month of seeing each other casually. He had texted, saying he wasn’t going to come and that he would call her. She knew that he’d broken up with her then, but she didn’t want to leave yet. The fresh bread was tasty and so was the wine. Javier simply said that his date did not show up and it likely meant the same as hers, the relationship was over. He wouldn’t get into the PR and logistics, not tonight. 

She asked what kind of flowers they were and if it was really okay that she had kept them. Javier insisted, their original intended didn’t deserve them. Not only because she didn’t come but she likely wasn’t going to give him what the flowers truly mean. The other woman had bestowed a more detrimental theme of peonies by standing him up - shame.

“Someone who is willing to leave a person alone like this without explanation, would not give me a happy life.” Javi explains, she agrees and wonders if they have a different meaning for her. 

“I don’t know if I can give you a happy life either. We just met Javier.” Her nervous giggle informs him that his explanation may have been a bit serious given how they’ve come together. 

“For you bonita (beautiful), the peonies do have a different meaning. I was hesitant to come over to the table. It looked like you were waiting for someone too and I didn’t want to intrude but I also didn’t want to miss an opportunity either.” He asks the waiter for a bottle for the table and their soup arrives with more bread. Javier hands her the butter so she can put it on her bread. “I’m also still nervous that I could mess this up at any point. And please, call me Javi. It's been a while since I’ve met someone I’ve genuinely liked so I’m bashful.”

“Quite the charmer you are, Javi. You’re definitely not messing anything up. You’re not the only one who’s nervous. I’m having a wonderful time and we haven’t even made it to dessert yet!” They both laughed at her attempt at a joke and continued the evening. Chatting, eating, drinking and laughing. Relaxed and without a care for them both.

Javier Gutierrez could just be on a date with a beautiful woman, maybe have a second of third with her. Maybe show her his shirt that’s the same color as her lipstick. Maybe find out what movies she enjoys and if he’s seen them, does she like Nicolas Cage movies? If she does, he may just swoon.

So many things and possibilities.

Debaters of the true color of Javi’s orange/red/dash of yellow shirt 👕: @maggiemayhemnj @magpiepills @tinytinymenace @readingiskeepingmegoing @bitchwitch1981

@inept-the-magnificent @tinytinymenace @yourcoolauntie @rhoorl @megamindsecretlair

@soft-persephone @soft-girl-musings @saturn-rings-writes @604to647 @mysterious-moonstruck-musings

@trulybetty @alltheglitterandtheroar @connectioneverywhere @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

[ckret2]

Actually, that other anon makes me wonder how that whole plot line will be effected when everything is edited for compatability. If it's not to spoilery would you be willing to share what you have in mind? Will it be a significant change?

Nah, barely changed at all. For the statue, only a couple small things will change:

In earlier chapters i'll insert a couple mpments of Bill thinking "i can get out of this if i can find my statue, wherever it is, and get my soul back into it"; that way in ch 44 i can change his outrage from "you knew [that it exists]?!" to "you knew where it was?!" with only slight wordinc changes; plus it'll punch more if people remember he was holding onto that as his guaranteed escape just to find out it doesn't work

MAYBE, insert a stinger line to the effect of "Ford tries not to feel guilty about the unicorn hair barrier he and Mabel put around the statue last year, since that's prob why Bill can't get into it but he's totally not about to tell Bill that." There's a few issues with that though:

We know ford wrote about this incident in a journal. It probably wasn't J1, 2, or 3, because they're probably mostly full. I wrote that ford's J4 got stolen by Shmebulock in the fall and he started writing J5 then; next summer Bill stole J4 from Shmeb and has been using it since. So this incident CAN'T have been written about in J4 or Bill would know about the unicorn hair barrier & that Ford knows where his corpse is. Did Ford write it in J1 or J2 before tossing them into the void? (Can't be J3, i think we're all out of Secret Lost J3 Pages thanks.) Did Mabel (and Mabel's brother) take a trip back to GF in the fall after Ford had lost J4, and that's when Ford & Mabel made the barrier? This is an annoying detail i'll need to resolve.

when Bill finds out about the unicorn hair barrier, obviously he's gonna wanna go back and break that barrier and try shaking his hand again; and like, that's just gonna result in exactly the same thing we already did in ch 44, with him trying to shake and being devastated it didn't work. We only need that scene once. It's not heartbeaking the second time, it's just tedious. Gotta figure out how to make it non-tedious.

I can't NOT have him try again though, because if I don't, then readers will go "ooOOoo the only reason it didn't work is because of the barrier, so we're obviously building up to the big moment where he tries again and this time it works!!" Which we aren't, obviously. My original writing plans never included the unicorn hair barrier because it didn't exist yet, i'm not building up to the reveal that the statue actually works.

And I'm not interested in making people think it'll work the second time, 44 was MEANT to be the It Totally Doesn't Work scene. A red herring is only a red herring if you put it there on purpose; otherwise it's just a dead fish distracting everyone with its dead fish smell.

So the barrier's annoying. I'll solve it when I get to it.

For the overall plot arc (not just the statue chapter), the only thing I need to change is rewriting "Bill's scared the Axolotl's coming for him because maybe he wasn't supposed to come back to the 21st century even though he wasn't told not to" to "Bill's scared the Axolotl's coming for him because he escaped Theraprism." Which is WAY WAY BETTER. Honestly I thought Bill's motivation for thinking the Axolotl was gonna Get Him was the weakest part of the eclipse arc, so I am deeelighted that the Theraprism gives me something so much more frightening to substitute in. It'll also give me an opportunity to begin working in some info about the Ax's own character & motivation that otherwise I wouldn't be able to include until way into season 2.

This will require me to substantially rewrite Bill's conversation with the Ax—for the better—I've already rewritten like 70% of it. And... basically rewrite nothing else.

That's it. A tiny tweak to Bill's wording in ch44, MAYBE throw in a single line about the unicorn barrier once I decide how I'm going to handle it in the rest of the fic, rewrite his conversation with the Ax, the end.

All the other edits will be fluff from TBOB plumping things out and tiny nudges toward better TBOB compliance—slide in a hint of medical trauma to Bill's refusal to let Ford call a doctor, make a mention during the chess scene that sometimes Bill used to let Ford win, that sort of thing.

[openphrase123]

What's your workflow for planning and then executing a long-term project, like the massive fics you write?

this is how i do fanfics And also original stuff and it's how i've been writing for like ten years (your mileage may vary though i think long project planning is a different kind of beast depending on the person.

also this is the same process as i have for making other media too but obviously with the language tweaked to fit the media (like this is how i plan and execute my game, too!)

have a scene or concept haunt me so thoroughly that i write a short speculative piece about it. if you get here and it's good but can't get past the next step, that's a sign it's meant to be a cool oneshot instead of something multichaptered

decide why i'm making it. what question am i trying to answer, what themes am i trying to explore?

write 2-3 chapters of it freeform style, not caring about where these scenes are going or how they flow into each other (for things that aren't fics, this can just be like. a small section of what it Is). if you're not feeling it here this is a sign to make the scope smaller and make the piece as short as you can tolerate it for. if you are feeling it, this is where you're figuring out the overall tone and style of how the wider work is going to go

figure out the ending. write the ending scene now if you have to. you can change it later but you need to know generally where you want to go

make an outline. how many sections do i need to get from the opening scene to the ending scene? what happens in each chapter?

for ME and how i post, if this is a fanfiction, write at least 25% of it before posting a single thing. or if nothing else write 3 weeks of updates.

start posting

vibe and write at least 3 weeks in advance. if you need a break you need a break. it's free fanfiction, people get it.

now, some creators will be like "whatever you write, take out 10% of it to be economical" this is the modern writer's equivalent of the devil talking. you need the fluff. you need the downtime. you need the epilogue. slow your fucking stories down. let people marinate in them. yeah if you're writing something short form or in a specific format you might need to take stuff out but if you're writing fanfiction or a novel or a game and there's no limit on how long it is. don't worry about spending a couple pages dicking around. every piece of human media from the dawn of time has had interludes, B plots, long meandering pieces of fluff... it makes the parts where the story Hits really stand out. inutile's tragic moments wouldn't be as effective if there weren't fun jokes or levity interspersed in between

that said you need to know when to stop adding shit. only put things in that you think you have a reasonable time to address fully and completely. you will learn this the hard way one day and i cannot teach this or stop you from making this mistake. i learned this mistake writing homestuck fanfiction when i was 13. but in my defense it's really easy to go overboard with homestuck fanfiction

panic because i'm like 90% of the way through and tired of it and start doubting whether the story was ever good at all and if this was wasted time

finish it. celebrate. wait like two months

reread my own work and say "this is sick as hell"

(if this is original work, this is where you start editing it. this is a different beast. i will not elaborate here. fanfiction is for fun and is at the same level as my original fiction drafts. on a rewrite everything will be more polished and purposeful)

repeat forever and ever as long as there are stories to tell

also. this one is just me because it's how my brain works. but ideally i work on two/three longform projects at once, so that when i get tired of working on one my brain will go "ooh shiny" and latch onto one of the other ones effortlessly. if you have adhd this will either work for you perfectly or it will ruin your life

[sadmoonface]

Author’s Comments: Disaster in the making

MHA oneshot: (xReader) smut fic. Character: Shigaraki Tomura

I went on a side quest in the last few weeks to teach myself how to write smut. It was unplanned, kind of just decided to write this randomly one weekend.

I was like, I don’t have to work on Monday, why don’t I use this 3-day-long weekend to write a quick 1–2 k words long oneshot (that somehow ended up 7.7k words long, idk how) to try my hand at smut? I was already planning on writing some sex scenes for my other fic TLK (a DazaixReader BSD fic), but I knew I would struggle once it was time to actually write them.

So I wanted to dip my toes in the art, you know, figure out the vocabulary and the expressions I should use, but more importantly, desensitize my shy ass to sex scene writing. I’m not like, a shy, innocent little girl who knows nothing of sex and would never touch it with a ten-foot pole, but I am a bit uncomfortable with the subject. But like, only when it comes from me? Like, anyone else talks sex with me and I’m fine, but you’ll NEVER catch me admitting to wanting to kiss a fictional character, that’s too much for my pure soul (/j).

I ended up stuck at one point when I was writing the first kiss scene and later on when the smut actually began. I was too shy to put my thoughts on paper, so this whole process ended up taking me 3 weeks instead of 3 days. But I powered through it, and once I got into the groove of writing, it wasn’t so bad! But it still felt so damn awkward lmao.

Anyways, enough with my personal struggles with the concept of sexuality. Overall, I think I didn’t do too bad, I’m pretty satisfied with the end result even though there are some things I would change if I were to go back. I think the entirety of the beginning of the fic (flirting with the hero + Tomura’s introduction) could be SIGNIFICANTLY cut down. I think it’s way too long, too much fake plot for my “Porn without Plot” oneshot lmao. It might have been a symptom of my nervousness to write porn, like I was nervous to actually write it so I kept coming up with useless things as a way to push back the thing that made me nervous, you know.

I also think the switch between “these characters are fighting” to “these characters are fucking” is pretty awkward. I did what I could with the whole jealousy thing, I think I could’ve executed it better, but whatever. This was meant as a writing exercise so I could practise a bit, so I guess it’s normal for it to feel weird and clumsy sometimes.

On top of that, I would have liked the 3 different sex acts to be longer. Compared to the beginning of the one-shot (and the never ending make out sesh that was also an attempt at avoiding the smut), it felt pretty short. I personally wouldn’t say it was rushed, since I spent at least 2 weeks on that part only (it’s fine if you disagree with this lmao), but still, it went by pretty fast when I read through the whole thing again at the end.

Anyways, that’s pretty much it for my comments. Even though I struggled quite a bit, I’m really happy to have gotten out of my comfort zone and to have tried out something new. I feel pretty good right now, and I’m ready to jump back on my TLK grind (I’ll try not to make you guys wait too long for another update lmao). I’ll say, working on fics in parallel to my 9 to 5 and my summer class is really hard, but it’s getting better!

Also, here’s a meme I made that perfectly encapsulates something that happened to me while writing this thing:

Asshole did it 3 times in an hour, gave me a heart attack every time (he needed help with his math homework lmao).

Thank you so much for reading these comments, I really hope you enjoyed my work! See you guys later! Much love <3<3<3<3

[elviraaxen]

ive really been loving the pacing of your story and i enjoy the concept and the bits that have been released about the plot! youre doing really well, and i admire it greatly!!

ive been having trouble figuring out an overall plot in my own work, i just have character ideas and the vaguest idea for a storyline. i try to just write but then i usually end up taking a break (re: dumping it) because i don't have anymore ideas for how to complete the plot. i've laso been curious about how you go about writing for a comic (do you write then do thumbnails? do thumbnails then go back to figure out dialogue? a third thing?) so i was wondering if you had any advice or resource tips for writing? both for comics and for overarching plots, if that's okay

if you don't have any ideas tho, no worries. i was just curious. good luck with Felt World! i love everything that's coming out so far, thank you for gifting us it!!

Oh thank you so much!! I can't say I'm a comic book artist at heart because I really don't have much experience, I was only an illustrator for a short while and never wrote anything myself, but learning from past mistakes (i.e. I don't stick to plans), I've so far done this and it seems to work:

I'm one of those that don't like to plan strict layouts for the entire thing, because chances are I will not stick to it, so what I've done for felt world is just write a sketch for the overarching plot, the b-plot and c-plot, with rough estimates in what order I want the major plot points and settings to be. My current sketch looks like this;

(which is done in Miro) and as you can see there aren't that many plot points, because I want to have the wiggle room to come up with something on the spot. And also, my comic focuses a lot on interpersonal relationships, character development, and themes rather than the plot, which means it needs to be concise or else the comic is gonna take 6 million years to finish.

And now,, I think this might just be how I work, but I think it's easier to be creative when you have strict restrictions rather than all the choices in the world.

for me, personally, I restrict an update of 10 pages tops, because instagram only allows max 10 images per post! This means I have to 1) fit all I want to say in 10 pages, 2) it has to be concise or else I infodump on readers, and 3) I have to answer some sort of question within the update, or else I said nothing and I start over.

As for scripts, I tend to write one or two sentences of what's going to happen for the update, and then I get to thumb-nailing and sketching right away! I come up with most of the dialogue on the spot too.

And also, I think what's most important, is that you take your damn time! If you aren't immersing yourself in your own world, how do you expect your readers to do the same?

I'm very much a believer that the stories you are telling are something that comes to you naturally if you just sit with it and listen rather than demand that it makes itself known to you. When I brainstorm for felt world I quite literally sit in my bed and go "omg!! And then what? :0" TO MYSELF LMAO as if I'm not making everything up myself! I think that's extremely important that your story is engaging to you first and foremost!

And as for more practical tips

carry a notebook with you or use your notes app AS SOON as you get ideas to write them down! No you will not remember, lol.

set rules of what you're not allowed to do with your story so that you don't fall into lazy trope territory! You can do that when you brain storm, but finesse the story post brainstorm to just make it.. smarter.. if that makes sens For example, don't kill your gay characters, don't make sensitive men the butt of the joke, don't make your women fight over men (unless it's the point), etc.

set physical restrictions! For example, max amount of pages per upload, max amount of pages for the whole story, max amount of characters, etc.! That literally forces you to problem solve, which by definition is creativity! Like, oh you can't do this the obvious way? Do it the creative way! That's way more fun!

I could probably go on, but this is too long already! But I hope it at least helped somewhat!