#i think he should sacrifice himself in the gym to let the others get away and get brutally slashed instead actually

[marypsue]

I know somebody has to have made 'The Breakfast Club, but a slasher is there'. I just need to know what it's called and where to watch it.

[themoodyestj]

When I say that with you, Jensen can't ever win, what i mean is that he's never going to be good enough for you, no matter what he does or says, you will always find something wrong with him. it's like being hyperfocus on one of his freckles, pointing at it, insisting that he has skin cancer. but you're not a doctor, you are just some random peep who thinks they know anything about cancer because they did a google search on the subject. and because you're so focused on one freckle, you're missing the rest of his beautiful face, you're missing his kind eyes, you're missing his hands and the things he can hold, the thigs he built, you're missing the words coming out of his mouth. you're missing the fact that he has many more freckles all over his body, that they are a part of him, part of what makes him beautiful and that without them he just wouldn't be Jensen.

I have to be honest, I'm not an advocate of loving blindly. Maybe it's my own life experience or because I'm actually trained to smell some things at a distance, but I have always had a very pragmatic point of view of the world (Sure, call it jaded, totally fine with that) and very rarely let my personal feelings interfere in my opinion. That doesn't mean I don't have them. I am team Jensen. I have seen all the times he won, and i still see the times he wins. I'm super happy he got his role in The Boys and keeps filming for them. I was super happy when he worked so hard to get that buffed and I also admire him for that, since I have to talk myself into (like really having a mental debate) to go to the gym. I admire his sense of sacrifice for the art and how readily he took that challenge, and was a bit sad when he said he deflated when others reminded him he could just have put fake muscles in his suit. I was like "No man, no deflating! This is your victory, run with it! Celebrate!!" I was and still am extremely proud of his accomplishments, and it makes me beam with joy when he's excited about stuff, wanting to do more, just because he can, just because he believes in it, giving his best. But I'm also not blind to the parts where I feel he's disheartened, or that I feel he did much less because he let other people take the lead, when he should have. And I'm sad that he didn't. I'm sad that he didnt respect himself enough to say "Look, this represents me as well, so we're gonna do it well." I didn't like what he did with the prequel, I didn't like that he kept Jared away, when I considered him extremely loyal. And I don't appreciate his wife, she represents everything I dispise, and I feel she steals from him. Joy, years of life, quality time with his kids, his money, his name, the people close to him, she steals all that. She makes him a shell of a man, by demeaning him, by going against everyone who made him happy, by encouraging people that weren't kind or honest to him. And it does make me wonder what he is doing with her (and honestly, sometimes scared that he is just like her). I'm not looking at just one freckle, I'm pointing at the freckle that is mishaped and can turn to something else. If you had such a freckle, and you went to your dermatologist, would you like him to say, "Well, this one looks suspicious, but im going to ignore it because all of the others seem fine"? Never once I said that I find Jensen ugly. And to be honest, even when it comes to what i consider his miscomings, I do understand them. I can either relate, or understand the possible reasons for those miscomings. Sometimes I'm more dissapointed than others, yes, sometimes I'm a bit more frustrated because he can do more. And as for my agency to write what I write, well, you don't know my background, my field of study, my field of work, my experience, because I don't want you to. I applaud people who share their experiences to reach others, I truly find it admirable, but I chose not to do it. My aim here is not to advocate for my own story (clarifying im not against who does), so my perspective will have to do. And for that, I only need to act in the capacity of a living breathing human being who is sentient, which is the same capacity in which you come to my inbox to tell me I'm a random peep. Sounds fair? I hope this somewhat shed a light on my stance in all of this, but to be honest, I'm too jaded to believe it did. I'll leave you with a joke that's been circling online for a while and can illustrate this text in a funny way.

[coralsgrimes]

Someone posted a whole video of his album party: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nzlhDV0PaR8&source_ve_path=MTc4NDI0

There was no way I was listening to his screeching, but I skimmed through the talking parts. It gets worse the more you hear. Also he’s already changing his story/lying about some of the songs again

1) Apparently now he’s into Japanese culture. The theme for the album is the various stages in relationships, but also kintsugi pottery. Breaking something apart (read himself) and building it back into something more precious. He got the Narnia makeup artist to turn him into kintsugi for the album cover for the title song Where the Light Gets In.

2) He’s now changed the story (lied) about Nevermind from being about heartbreak, to now claiming he wrote it with (Kevin???) during the pandemic about anxiety.

3) Stolen Time is where it gets interesting, cause he insinuated he was involved with someone when S&B season 2 started filming. The song is about time and distance and the world (pandemic) keeping people apart, but about two people in different time zones trying to connect to each other. He said he was miserable and “missing someone”, but also said Calahan wrote part of the song. Calahan was actually going through a break up at the time, so how much of the song is about him??? And Benny was just a pining loser. Also, wasn’t that winter when Jules was dating that Charlie guy.

4) He also pathetically shouted out the Save the Crows Netflix petition. Also there is a sex song. Eww

5) The Three New Hearts song about getting his heart broken three times (Jules?) is his favorite

6)Someone said he had a song about telling someone he wouldn’t wait for them Someday, but it’s apparently it’s about bastardizing Dylan Thomas’s poetry. Which is somehow worse. He brought up the English degree though, because he will never let people forget

FIRST OF ALL! thank ye for your sacrifice muffin, here's a potato for ye 🥔🥔🥔

And here's the link

1) Kintsugi? Where the Light Gets In (Let the Light In much lol)? Me thinks someone got himself Did You Know That There's a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd on vinyl xd

2) So the shitty lyrics were actually group attempt? Even worse lol

3) WHAT YE MEAN SOMEONE IN DIFFERENT TIME ZONE WHEN HE WAS IN HUNGARY? But the twitter girlies told me he was sharing same hotel room with Jessie? Valentines day hotel backpack 2 years anniversary soon x.x ANYWAY if I remember well, twin flame and the spiritual healing tongue guy were together like late 2021 like a few weeks after the EP premiere when he was in Canada?? and then he was in Hungary from January till like almost summer? And I remember something about gym bros and some trips they took cuz Calahan was big sad yesssss

4) Can't figure out why ye put these two in one lol maybe cuz he a paid whore? And now he thinks he can do like sweet gentleman lil puppy's version of AC/DC's The Jack?

5) Only three times? I would say we can count more bulianne break ups buuuuuuuut maybe it's because of the three big pap outings? the pandemic stroll with hubby away, the Montana/ice cream date, and then the NY birthday week?

6) Have nothing of substance to say actually lol he should have go for William McGonagall for shits and giggles

[realcube]

trying to be nice to their crush hcs

navi | masterlist | taglist

thank you to 🍦anon for this cute request!

characters: tsukishima, kyōtani, sakusa & suna

content warning: swearing & sexual references 

kei tsukishima 

♡ this is all yamaguchi’s fault （︶^︶）

♡ he found out tsukki had a crush on you bc he mentioned you a lot in conversation so yamaguchi interrogated him for answers then lo and behold, the beanpole had a lil thing for you 

♡ you sit in front of tsukishima in homeroom while yamaguchi sits beside him so when you leaned back and asked him if you could borrow a pencil and he spat back a snarky remark about you being too irresponsible to care for your own pencils, yamaguchi hastily offered you one of his own before scolding tsukishima 

♡ he explained to his clueless friend that being nasty to people isn’t a good way to get them to like you 

♡ so perhaps he should be nicer :)

♡ honestly, tsukishima would’ve just looked yamaguchi straight in the eyes and went ‘no’, if it wasn’t for the fact you shot tadashi the sweetest smile anD PLAYFULLY BLEW HIM A KISS AFTER HE JUST GAVE YOU A DAMN PENCIL LIKE WTF 

♡ after that, he decided to give up his current personality and pick up a new one 

♡ jk jk 

♡ but he had to binge a whole bunch of those youtube psychology videos that are like ‘psychological tricks to make people like you’ and ‘THESE 5 MIND TRICKS WILL MAKE YOU THE MOST POPULAR PERSON *EVER*’!!

♡ spoiler alert: he wasn’t the most popular person but perhaps that was bc he only went to the effort of using those tricks on you 

♡ god bless him; he tries hard, he really does. (not his best, just hard)

♡ but you don’t have to be extremely observant to realise that he’s began acting different around you and of course, it confused you seeing tsukishima being nice

♡ what irritated you was how dismissive he was being of your questions though, as he was clearly trying to lead you to believe that you were crazy and he’s just always been a nice guy 

♡ but as soon as he figures out that he angered you, he’ll instantly switch back to him normal self - draining his mind of the hours of phycology studying he did last night to just pretend like it never happened 

♡ and if he’s feeling flirty, he might be extra mean to you （￣︶￣）

♡ also he makes a mental note to never take yamaguchi’s romance advice ever again 🙄

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you sighed, removing your hand from your bag after desperately rummaging through it in search of a pencil once again - deja vu. once you accepted that a pencil wasn’t going to materialise out of thin air, you peered over your shoulder and tapped the corner of yamaguchi’s desk, who wore a suspicious grin which you decided against questioning. 

“yamaguchi, do you think i could borrow a pencil again? sorry, this is the last time, i swear. i’ll be sure to get some on my way home after school tod--” 

yamaguchi dropped the line him and tsukishima had rehearsed many times beforehand, while clutching his pencilcase dear to his chest, “woah, (y/n). you’re so irresponsible. sorry, i can’t lend one of my pristine pencils to someone who is too forgetful to remember to buy some; what if you forget to return it to me?” 

tsukishima cringed at how forced it sounded but he couldn’t help but admire yamaguchi's dedication to his role. this allowed tsukishima to swoop in, pencil in hand, “here.” that wasn’t in the script but he panicked! okay, now, eye contact. 

you just sat there and stared at both of them with the most dumbfounded look plastered on your face. what just happened?  why were they both acting like they were in drama class?  and why are they both so bad at acting? they’re both passing performing arts for fucks’ sake!

kentarō kyōtani 

♡ sorry but i firmly believe kyōtani is the sorta guy to be extra mean to ppl he fancies smh

♡ the rest of them just act (somewhat) like themselves around their crush but kyōtani is himself2 (himself^2)

♡ like one time yahaba found you trembling in your locker bc you had gotten mud on mad dog’s white shoes so he chased you through the hallways of the school, threatening to trek mud on your forehead 

♡ yahaba took it upon himself to investigate as to why kyōtani was so rude to you and he got his answer as soon as he mentioned your name to mad dog and the boy’s face immediately flushed red 

♡ so after practise, yahaba schools mad dog on how to get chicks (⌐■_■)

♡ in short, his advice was ‘good guys get laid’ and for kyōtani’s understanding, ‘good’ and ‘kind’ were interchangeable 

♡ mad dog wasn’t completely oblivious to how he treated you and he was aware that he was far from ‘kind’

♡ although he usually doesn’t listen to people in general, yahaba seemed to know what he was talking about so he figured there was no harm in trying to be nice 

♡ but ngl, he just spent the rest of the day wondering...what is kind?

♡ after a few messages back and forth with yahaba, he figured that the best place to start was by apologising for - y’know - chasing you around the whole school 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“oi!” kyōtani bellowed through hallway, paying no mind to the students that cast him dirty looks as his sights were locked on you. standing unsuspecting by your locker, stuffing your textbooks into your bag until you heard his deep voice echo through the hall, to which you visibly perked up and began frantically looking around.

he marched towards you, hands in pockets and when you noticed him out of the corner of your eye, you were more than ready to drop all your shit and bolt away. but he didn’t let you as before you were able to take off on your heels, he grabbed your shoulder and spun you around to face him - then he noticed your hands raised in defence by your face and your head hung low.

his heart sank and his grip on your shoulder immediately softened, “i’m not gonna punch you, idiot.” he spat, rolling his eyes and gritting his teeth, trying to appear angry in hopes you’d mistake his light blush for pure rage. 

“i just wanted to say that i felt bad for chasing you through the halls yesterday - you didn’t stand a chance so i guess it was a bit unfair.” he said, frowning as you replied with silence so the duty fell on him to fill it, “and i got the stain out, anyway so.” 

more silence. lovely.

suddenly, he puffed his cheeks out as his eyes snapped to meet yours and he roared, “ARE YOU GONNA FUCKING SAY SOMETHING OR ARE YOU TOO BRAINDE-”

“are you wearing eyeliner?” 

and that was the true story behind why you missed last period, because you and kyōtani had a 30 minute conversation about eyeliner and make-up, then he convinced you to skip the rest of class with him so he could buy you ramen as an apology gift.

so yeah, he figured that perhaps he should try being nice more often.

kiyoomi sakusa

♡ he didn’t need someone to tell him to be nicer, he’s just predisposed to attempt to show kindness to someone he is fond of

♡ in his mind, showing kindness, respect and stripping himself of all his personality = the only way to be desirable 

♡ (ofc this takes place before he meets atsumu tho lol)

♡ so it’s not the realisation that’s the problem for him, it’s the execution 

♡ like how is he supposed to be nice without either sounding creepy or condescending? 

♡ *cut to sakusa practising in the bathroom mirror* ‘your hand looks- no-’ he scoffs, flicking cold water onto his face, ‘your hair looks cool- pretty- nice?’

♡ *camera pans to sakusa laying in bed, staring intently at the ceiling while imagining vivid and scarily detailed scenarios about ways he could mess up while talking to you* 

♡ *camera zooms in on sakusa’s face as he manifests a nicer version of himself*

♡ he might - depending on how insecure he is - watch one of those psychology videos or read a wikihow for help

♡ but other than that, he independently tries to alter his personality in order to gain your favour bc..true love ?

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you smiled as a basketball rolled up to your feet during gym class, followed by the sound of someone approaching you and upon raising your gaze, your eyes met sakusa’s unmistakable black ones. his face hovered only a few inches away from yours due to the fact you had both reached down to pick up the ball at the same time.

he quickly pulled himself away, tucking the basketball under his elbow as he adjusted his mask so it properly covered his face to ensure that you didn’t see the light blush slowly spreading across his cheeks. he then proceeded to blurt out what he had been rehearsing for the past few nights, “oh, thank you, (y/n). your hair looks lovely today, by the way.”

you giggled, holding your hands firmly by your side to avoid fidgeting and making it obvious that his sudden comment flustered you, “thanks, sakusa. and, if we’re handing out compliments today, i didn’t know you were good at any sport other than volleyball but you’re doing surprisingly well at basketball.” you joked, your lips slowly curling into a cocky smirk, “though, i don’t think you’d stand a chance against my team.” 

god, you’re such a tease. you make it so hard for him to be nice to you. so, of course, your comment returned his ability to utter almost every sarcastic comment that comes to mind - screw being likeable. “you think so?” he quirked a brow, tossing the ball onto your lap then pacing backwards, “go on, then.”

rintarō suna

♡ it was probably those tips on social media that told him he has to be nicer 

♡ and plus he saw terushima get all the chicks and he was just sitting there like ‘where are my bitches at? 🥺’

♡ anyway, all the guys on social media that had girls lining up outside their door always had one thing in common: misogyny  obnoxious personalities !!

♡ and his whole personality was a sacrifice suna was willing and ready to make for just a crumb of cooch  🤲

♡ though you weren’t exactly his crush yet, suna thought you were the best person to carry out this experiment with bc he heard through the grapevine that you had a crush on him so perhaps this would make you happy

♡ he didn’t prepare much beforehand though which he immediately regretted as soon as he approached you bc admittedly, his game plan of ‘be self-assured but friendly’ was a bit vague 

♡ so he basically just had to bullshit through a whole, awkward conversation with you while wearing a forced ‘bold’ smirk which, in reality, looked as though he had just seen tiddies for the first time 

♡ hardly self-assured or friendly 

♡ also, the fact you thought he was playing a prank on you must’ve drastically altered the results of his experiment 

♡ at one point he says something extremely stupid you’d just quit playing along and just blurt out ‘wtf is wrong with you today’

♡ to which he’d be like ‘ahaha, nuthin much bbg, how bout you?’

♡ THE EXPERIEMNT ISN’T OVER UNTIL HE SAYS IT’S OVER OKAy?!

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you rubbed your temples in order to soothe the throbbing headache suna gave you simply by existing. like yes, you had a crush on him 10 minutes ago - but that was before he came up to you and started acting like terushima on dodgy medication. “oh and your skin is glowing bab--”

“jesus christ, rintarō, shut up!” you cried, gripping the edge of your skirt to prevent your self from delivering a swift punch right to his stupid face. he’s seriously gotten on all your nerves at this point; firstly, by spamming your phone in the middle of the night asking for homework answers (accompanied by cursed memes) as he actually managed to wake you up. secondly, by acting so oblivious to the fact you clearly had a crush on him and now, this!

heat rose to his cheeks in embarrassment as his creepy smile instantly fell right back into his resting bitch face, “this isn’t working, is it?” 

“what’s not working?”

suna scoffed, rolling his eyes - his façade having evidently disappeared. “this.” he sighed, looking around as if someone was going to save him before his eyes finally settled on you and he was reminded of what he wanted in the first place, his sparkle was rekindled for just a moment which caused him to blurt out, “just fuck me already, i’m not asking for much.”

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Please Me Oikawa's Oasis: Part 1

⚠️THIS FIC IS 18+, MINORS DNI⚠️

Welcome to week 4 of the Please Me Series!  A collaboration with @axoxtxhxh! This weeks theme is Virginity Loss featuring Oikawa and Goshiki!  This weeks fics are broken into 3 parts! Please check out Joey’s fic, Guiding Goshiki!  I will link it in the Please Me master list!  

Warnings: Swearing, bad pick up lines

Word Count: 2,000

The sound of Volleyball hitting the floor and shoes shuffling around in the hard wood is all to familiar to Toru Oikawa.

He was finally, living out his dreams as a professional volleyball player. It’s all he ever wanted to do, all he had ever thought about from the time he was a young kid.

After high-school, his goals became centered around making his dream a reality. To accomplish this, he knew he would have to sacrifice a lot. Forgoing his personal life in order to pursue his main objective.

The thought never really bothered Torū. He was always popular with his fans, however none of them seemed to understand his deep desire for the sport he loved so much.

After countless failed high school relationships, he put his personal life on hold in order to pursue something more favorable.

He was given the opportunity to move to Argentina and become a member of Club Atletico San Juan. He jumped at the chance to further is professional career and move abroad, gaining citizenship to a country world renowned for its athletes. His dream was finally becoming a reality

Entering the training gym, Oikawa was anything but nervous. He knew his skills as a setter were exceptional and he always aimed to improve in any way he could. His specialty outside of setting was serving, which is what attracted the recruiters to him. Taking a deep breath, he walked into the bright gym for the first time, preparing to achieve his goals.

“Ahh Oikawa! It’s great to finally meet you” the San Juan teams head coach said as he greeted Oikawa with a smooth smile and a firm handshake.

“The pleasure is all mine sir” Oikawa says as he watches the various members begin to practice.

Oikawa was amazed at the level of skill he saw. These players were on an entirely different level, a level that only served to excited him more.

“Well, it’s probably best if you just join in. I’d like to see your abilities up close” coach says as Oikawa nod, running over to great the members of his new team.

“Hello everyone! My name is Torū Oikawa and it would be my pleasure to set for you” he smirks as the players study Oikawa closely.

Torū had always had a rather flamboyant personality. Often being the stand out character in a room. It never bothered him when others made comments about him because he was confident in himself as a person and as a setter.

The team looked at him, nodding as the captain made his way towards Torū.

“Show us what you’ve got Oikawa” the captain says as he signals for the spikers to form a line “the best way to learn is by doing.”

“I couldn’t agree more” Oikawa smirks as he turns heading close to the net.

“By the way, I prefer if you can get the toss as high so I can have time to correct the positioning if needed” he remarks as the men prepare for spiking practice.

One by one, the players toss the ball to Oikawa as he sends set after set to the players.

“I’m sorry, that one was a little long” he signals to one of the spikers “I can tell by your approach, you favor balls close to the next. I’ll adjust.”

The player nodded to Oikawa and the next player stepped up, tossing the ball to Oikawa.

“Man his adaptation skills are incredible” on of the assistant coaches says as the head coach watched Oikawa closely.

The door opens as the men shift to see a figure pushing open the door with their foot, emerging into the gym with a basket full of freshly laundered jerseys.

Letting out a deep breath, you sigh as you set the basket down, moving onto your next task of refilling the now empty water bottles.

You had been the team’s manager for almost 3 years now. You loved your job so much. The perks were fantastic and the pay was stellar. You worked long hours and traveled a lot but that never hindered your life. You actually enjoyed seeing the world with your team.

Grabbing the bottles, you begin to head for the fountain when the coach approaches you.

“YN, I’m going to need you to prepare a jersey for our newest team member. His name should be on the sheet I gave you this morning. Please have it ready by the end of the week” the coach asks as you nod in agreement.

“I’ll work on it as soon as possible sir”

“Thank you YN. We would really be lost without you” he says as you smile back, eyes glancing towards the gym floor.

You knew a new member would be starting soon. You had heard rumors of one, Torū Oikawa. You had seen his skills on many videos as the team prepared for his arrival. You took notes from what you could see so that you could immediately start helping the promising new setter.

You eyes glanced towards the net as they were met with gorgeous chocolate orbs. The young setter stared at you in wonder as you smiled sweetly, moving towards the door to fill the water bottles.

God you are so pretty Oikawa thinks to himself as he fails to hear the shouts of his teammates, as a tossed volleyball hurls straight for his head.

As you reach the door, a loud SMACK sounded causing you to turn your head towards the men to see the new setter rubbing his head feverishly.

Oh, this one’s a klutz you think to yourself as you roll your eyes, setting the bottles down and running to see if the setter was ok.

“Are you ok?” You ask running up to the new setter, trying to ignore the snickers of the other players as you check him over.

Oikawa rubs his head as he looks up to you.

“I hope you know CPR” he says looking up to you.

“Omg is it that serious?”

“No, it’s because you just took my breath away” he says smiling at you as you roll your eyes walking away as the rest of the players laugh at Oikawa’s cheesy line.

You get up, moving back to the door grabbing the water bottles and walking out.

Great another Romeo you think to yourself as you snicker lightly, remembering the young man’s pick-up line.

“He is pretty funny I’ll have to admit” you under your breath, smiling a little as you fill the teams water bottles.

“Hey Oikawa, are you sure you’re, ok?” the captain says laughing lightly.

Oikawa shakes his head smiling “if there’s one thing I’m accustomed to, it’s getting hit in the head with a volleyball.”

The team laughs as Oikawa looks to the door where you exited.

Of course, you were stunning. Oikawa had seen his far share of women but none quite gave off the radiance you did.

“Hey man” the captain said placing his hand on Oikawa’s shoulder “don’t worry about YN. She just takes her job serious. She’s not really one for screwing around.”

Oikawa nods as he looks back at the door, watching you reenter the gym. He had to admit, he admired how determined you were to do your job. And your cold tone wasn’t going to deter the great king, Torū Oikawa.

“Okey doke then guys, let’s get back to it” he says shaking his hands as he returns to his spot at the net as the next spiker tosses to him, sending a set perfectly to the spiker.

You watched in awe at the new team member. You have to admit, the man was good. He seemed to take the sport of Volleyball more seriously than his pick up game. You smiled as you watched the men hit spike after spike, kill after kill. It was refreshing to have such an invigorating member join the team.

“Alight guys, time to wrap it up” the coach yells as he grabs his clipboard “YN will you lock up tonight after your done please? Also leave the nets up tonight. We will have the gym open early for practice.”

“Of course, coach” you say smiling as the team grabs their towels and water bottles, leaving to change.

You went about your business, finishing laundry, logging notes and filing a few pieces of papers.

“Just mopping left” you say as you sign, leaving your office and heading to the gym.

The sound of volleyballs hitting the gym floor radiated from down the hall way.

What is someone still doing here you wonder to yourself as you walk into the gym, checking your watch.

You see a panting Oikawa, tossing a ball up, serving over the net with such intensity.

Your eyes widened as you body jumped at the power he held. His serves were so strong, so intense and so fast. How can anyone stop them?

“It’s not polite to stare” he says as your concentration is broken as you look over to him, smiling at you as he wipes his face off.

“Oh, I wasn’t staring- I just came to umm, I just came to mop up the gym floor” you said stuttering as you walk in, putting your bag down.

“Oh, I apologize. The coach said it was ok for me to practice” he said as he continues to try and cool down.

“No worries, I have sometime. I can wait” you say as you turn heading to sit down. “Oh and by the way, that last serve was out by like a centimeter” you say sitting down, pulling your phone out of your bag.

“Ughhhh” Oikawa says as he grabs his hair and pulls on it as you snicker.

You continue to watch Oikawa practice, 10 minutes turns into an hour, which turns into an hour and a half. While you didn’t want to interrupt his practice, you knew he needed to rest. You could tell he was overexerting himself.

You got up to talk with him when he sent up a serve, landing incorrectly on his leg and wincing.

Your eyes widen as you run to him.

“Ok that’s enough tonight, Oikawa. You’re going to hurt yourself” you said as you grab the ball from him.

“It’s fine YN, this happens all the time” he says wincing at the pain radiating from his knee. He really did overdo it.

“Alright well I don’t care how often it happens, I’m closing practice” you say grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the bench.

“YN –” he says before you interrupt him.

“It’s my job to make sure you don’t overdo it. I’m not doing my job if our setter can’t set after his first day” you say as you help Oikawa to the bench, running to grab an ice pack and a hot pack.

“Here, we will do 15 minutes cold, 15 minutes warm. Then I’ll wrap it” you say as you check his knee.

“Thanks, YN” he says sweetly as you smiley at him.

“No worries, Oikawa, it’s my job” you say as you out the ice on his knee, helping to reduce the bit of inflammation that was forming.

“When you get back home, you’ll need to take anti-inflamories. Do it every 4 hours and you should be ok!”

Oikawa looks at you as you help ice his knee, you really were something else.

“Alright” you say as you wrap his knee up “let’s get you home.”

You help Oikawa to get to the changing room, as you quickly go to mop up the gym floor. You turn off the lights to see Oikawa waiting for you at the doors.

“yoo-hoo Yn-chan” he says waving frantically at you as you roll your eyes at him braking into a smile.

“Yn-what?” You say as you help Oikawa out the front doors, locking the building behind you.

“It’s a personal greeting in Japanese. Often used for close friends” he says smirking at you.

“Oh so we are close friends now are we?” You say as you walk with him towards the dorms he was staying at

“O f course, we are YN-chan! Why wouldn’t we be!” he says smiling at you as you laugh lightly.

“You really are something else Oikawa” you say as you wave him off, heading towards your own dorm.

So are you YN, so are you.

Taglist: @serostapesweat @chaotic-nick @lovelyzabrak-meadow @yep-seeyalaterbranflakes

[shoutaaizawas]

I know youre probably busy but I was thinking maybe 👉👈 you could do a fic bakugo x reader where you ask bakugo out he rejects you and starts being mean to you only for you to get sad and distant and the other students start hating on bakugo fir hurting you (Pls take ur time ur probs busy you dont have to do it right away

thanks for your patience~ i always love writing for bakugou

↳ bakugou katsuki x reader → sorry

summary: bakugou rejects your confession in a panic but quickly regrets it and tries to make it up to you word count: 1,541 tags/warnings: light angst with a happy ending

Bakugou Katsuki was not a boy that earned a lot of attention from girls, more often than not girls were scared off by his demeanor. But you weren’t scared off by him. If anything his fiery spirit was endearing in a way. You had a crush on him but you hadn’t yet worked up the courage to tell him.

He was your friend, as much as anyone was friends with Bakugou. You hung out with him in groups and even spent time with him studying or training. A part of you was scared that if you told him how you felt it would ruin the relationship. You didn’t want to lose him as a friend.

It was one day when you heard that another student was interested in him, that you decided that you needed to say something. The last thing you wanted was to miss your chance and for someone else to date him.

You decided to make him his favorite dessert, he wasn’t big on sweets but he mentioned once that he really liked chocolate chip banana bread. You spent all night trying to get the recipe perfect. You placed it in a nice tin to keep it safe and attached a little note to it.

It was after class, you were heading back to the dorms to study with Bakugou. You thought it’d be best to get it over with. You stopped on the path as you walked beside him, pulling out the tin with the dessert in it.

“What are you doing?” He asked turning around.

“I-I wanted to tell you something.” You said. What you hadn’t expected was for there to be a good amount of other students around when you did this. It was too late now. You held the tin in your hands nervously playing with it. “Bakugou, I really like you. More than a friend and I was wondering if you’d go out on a date with me.” You said holding it out in front of you as an offering.

Even though your nerves you saw Bakugou’s expression change a few times before he spoke.

“Why would I be interested in an extra like you?” His biting tone cut through the silence.

“Oh.” Your voice was quiet. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at Bakugou. No, don’t cry not now in front of everyone. The metal of the tin rang out as it hit the ground loudly. You swallowed painfully before running off in the direction of the dorms.

Bakugou stood there staring blankly at the space where you stood moments before. He could hear snickers from the students around him. He turned around to glare at them and they ran away. He kneeled down picking up the tin you had dropped. Opening it he saw his favorite dessert and his heart dropped. Grabbing a piece he was shocked at how good it was, it was even better than his own recipe. There was a note on top of the container.

Bakugou,

I hope you enjoy this, I know my baking isn’t as good as yours but it was made with love.

Every passing moment he felt more and more like a monster. The teary look on your face haunted him.

Why did he say that? He liked you too but he never expected you to feel the same way. With all the people around he panicked and did what came naturally to him, he was mean. He knew he should apologize and explain but he just couldn’t bring himself to. He went to the training gym and took his frustration out there.

“I know you can be mean sometimes but you had no right to do that to her,” Mina said, approaching him as he sat at his desk waiting for class to start. He couldn’t reply before she continued. “She really likes you, the least you could have done was let her down easy.”

Mina stomped off before he could say anything to defend himself. Not like there was anything he could say to defend himself.

You were nowhere to be seen for the rest of the day.

The rest of the week he got dirty looks from his classmates, even Kirishima had given him a disappointed look in the cafeteria before sitting down at your table to eat.

He couldn’t bear to look at you, even with the other students flocking to your side to cheer you up, you still looked so sad and it was all his fault.

“Man, that was really messed up,” Denki said walking beside him to class. “You know you could have just said you weren’t interested.”

“Shove off Pikachu.” He growled before walking ahead.

He knew how bad he messed up, he couldn’t sleep at night, he could barely eat. All he could think about was how sad you looked. He had to make it up to you but how?

“On one condition,” Kirishima said. “You never hurt her again.”

“I didn’t mean to in the first place, okay. I don’t like seeing her sad.” Bakugou replied. “I just need your help to make it up to her.”

“Alright but I’m holding you to it.” He said.

Bakugou had a plan and he hoped it would work. He was cooking all of your favorite foods. Then he would set up on the balcony of the common room a table with candles and you could eat together. Or by yourself, if you decided not to forgive him. All he needed from Kirishima was for him to bring you out there.

You had one of the worst weeks of your life. Every day you were both too embarrassed and too sad to leave your room. You got away with one day but you knew you couldn’t sacrifice your learning for some guy. Even if it was Bakugou Katsuki.

Your friends had been amazing, staying by your side, bringing you food and anything else you need but it only could do so much. Time would be the best solution, Momo told you. You knew she was right but you just wished it would hurry up and make you feel better.

It was a Friday night and you were sulking in your room listening to sad music once again. You weren’t expecting a knock at your door. You sighed it was probably one of your friends hoping to cheer you up but you just wanted to be alone right now.

“Kirishima?”

“Hey, I need to show you something.” He said.

“I’m really tired, Kiri. I just want to stay in my room.” You told him.

“Please, it’s important.” He said. The genuine look in his eyes guilted you into following.

As he led you to the common room balcony you thought you might scream if Kirishima made you leave your room to show you another cute frog outside again.

What you didn’t expect was a nice table covered in a white cloth with flowers and candles. Even more so was Bakugou standing there with a guilty look on his face. Before you could question Kirishima he was gone.

You looked at Bakugou before turning to leave.

“Wait, please.” You were shocked to hear him say please. It made you pause. “Just let me explain myself and I’ll leave if you want me to.”

“Okay.” You said more curious than anything else. What was he up to?

“I didn’t mean what I said. I was caught off guard and there were all those people there and I spoke before I could think.” He said.

“Yeah, imagine how embarrassing it was to be rejected like that in front of everyone.” You said. You knew it was unheard of for Bakugou to apologize but it would take more than that to earn your trust again.

“I know, I know. I feel horrible about it.” He said, rubbing his forehead. “What I’m trying to say is- I’m sorry.” The words came out quite but he did in fact say he was sorry.

“Okay.” You said, not quite sure what to say.

“Not just that but I feel the same way.” He admitted. “I like you too and I want to go on a date with you.”

You were even more stunned, he felt the same way?

“I made your favorite food, I can leave.” He said opening the metal cover over the plates. It looked amazing and smelled even better. “You can eat with Kirishima instead if you want.”

Bakugou started to head for the door but you caught him by his wrist

“No. Stay.” You said. “This can be our first date.”

Bakugou smiled. Not his usual cocky smirk or the smile he gave when he was about to beat someone up. The soft smile stopped your heart for a moment.

You sat down together at the table.

“I would have worn something nicer if I knew this was going to be a date.” You laughed. He smiled at your joke.

“You look better than anyone else I’ve seen.” He said. You hadn’t expected any of this but you really weren’t expecting Bakugou to be so smooth.

Things weren’t always going to be easy with Bakugou but he knew how to show he cared when it mattered most.

[keiyoomi]

letters to satori | t. satori × reader

summary: you did your best to keep yourself from confessing your feelings towards satori, but you just. . . can’t help, but imagine how your life would turn out with a bubbly tendō satori by your side.

details: 2k+ words | unedited | fluff? | ft. semi and ushiwaka

note: i’ve reached 2k followers recently. thank you for following me!!!

The idea of giving a handwritten letter to someone they like fascinates the red-haired middle blocker of Shiratorizawa—Tendō Satori.

It all began after he read a shōjo manga wherein the female lead tirelessly slips a handwritten note in the shoebox of the male lead. He wanted to experience that once in this lifetime. Yes, he received a lot of letters once in a while, but none of them are consistent. Their feelings towards him seems like a mere passing fancy.

“I haven’t seen you so dejected before,” Semi remarked as he stood next to him. “Don’t tell me you received another red mark in the tests?”

Satori groaned as he rest his chin on his desk while stretching his long limbs. “N—”

“AH-T!” Satori’s eyes widened upon hearing your voice. “Tendō!” you yelled with your fists tightly clenched. He can only smile at your direction in response.

This wasn’t the first time you tripped while he’s stretching his body. All incidents were unintentional and definitely not funny, but for some reason, he could feel that something’s bubbling in his chest.

“Sorry. Sorry.”

You squinted your eyes at him before walking away. While watching you approach one of your classmates, he let out a sigh. “I wonder if she’ll do it for me.”

Semi’s eyebrows furrowed. “Do what for you?” he asked. However, instead of answering his question, Satori chose to grin and kept his mouth shut.

‘It must be nice if she’ll secretly write a letter for me.’ He thought with a giggle. ‘I wonder what she’ll write in her letters though.’

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

You were in a daze while monitoring the movements of each members of Shiratorizawa Academy’s Boys’ Volleyball Team. The image of the red-head middle blocker, holding a copy of a famous shōjo manga plague your mind.

‘Is he implying something?’ you thought while watching him play around with his teammates—something he usually do when Coach Washijō is not around. You shook your head to clear your mind. ‘Nah. Impossible. He doesn’t like receiving such things. He said so himself.’

Then, you tilted your head while looking for a reason that’s more acceptable that the one you’ve concluded earlier. ‘Maybe that manga is just as popular as they say,’ you thought with a nod.

You blew the whistle to get the attention of everyone in the gym. “Start the drills. Fifty jump serves, and another fifty float serves. We have to finish at least half amount of that drills before coach returns.”

They all responded ‘yes’ with dread. Honestly, you feel the same way too. The last thing you want is to be scolded by Coach Washijō. His gaze alone can make a fragile person cry.

You were recording the status of each players, including some habits that has to be corrected, when you felt someone’s presence beside you. Specifically, his. “Woah. You’re pretty dedicated, huh.”

“This is how I normally do things, Tendō-kun,” you pointed out. “I’ve been doing this for almost three years.”

“Say,” he began before calling you by your nickname playfully. “Do you think someone will confess to me before our graduation?”

Your body stiffened for a moment, tightening your grip on the clipboard you were holding, before regaining your composure. “Maybe, maybe not.”

The thought if someone confessing to him made you feel uncomfortable. It feels suffocating and you hate it.

You hate what you’re feeling.

Satori vocally expressed his desire to explore the world beyond Japan. Falling in love with him wouldn’t be wise and might only result in something heartbreaking—a situation you’d like to avoid as of the moment.

Then, he sighed. Loud enough for you to hear. “Must be nice to receive a handwritten letter before graduating,” he mumbled, making you look up at him.

“Have you read that manga?” he asked while looking at you. “Letters to My Love*?”

“I’ve heard about it. Got no time to read it, though.” A blatant lie. “Is it that good?” you asked.

“Mhm. I can lend you my copies if you want.”

‘No need. I have my own. Thanks.’ Of course, you can’t say it that way. “Maybe after the tournament,” you responded before glancing at him. “Aren’t you going to do the drills? Toshi’s already done with the entire drill.”

“Fine,” he grumbled before whispering. something.

‘He wasn’t cursing me, right?’

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

“This is hopeless,” he whispered as he trudged towards the side of the court where his teammates stands. ‘I’ve tried all the tactics that the male lead in the manga did. All of them were neatly dodged by her.’ Then, he sighed. ‘At least in the manga, the female lead—despite the fact that she’s dense—picked up what he was hinting. But. . .’ He looked towards your direction before sighing. ‘It’s hopeless.’

The next day, though, he found a pink envelope neatly placed on the top of his indoor shoes. His eyes widened with delight before taking it with sheer enthusiasm. ‘Or maybe it wasn’t hopeless at all!’ he cheered in his head while skipping towards the gym.

“She must be embarrassed,” he said while grinning. “Wait, should I pretend that I didn’t know that I’ve received her letter? It must be embarassing for her if the others discover what she did.”

He clenched his fist with a promise. ‘I won’t let anyone tease our cute little manager.’

“What are you doing, Tendō?” Semi asked while standing near the entrance of the locker room.

“Nothing,” he respond playfully before humming an upbeat song. “Is she here already?” he asked.

“Huh? What are you talking about? She’s skipping today’s practice to rest. I heard she was feeling feverish on her way back to the dorms.”

Satori’s delighted humming paused. “O-Oh. . .” he forced a smile before facing his friend. “. . . that’s unfortunate.”

“What happened to your mood?” Semi asked while watching him change.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said before smiling as if everything’s alright. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t get my hopes up.’

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

You’ve decided to isolate yourself from the rest of the team after catching a cold.

“How did he react?” you asked before coughing. You shouldn’t have left the dorm in that cold weather. “Please tell me that my sacrifice was worth it.”

Semi sighed. “Disappointed.”

“Oh.”

“He was humming at first, but when I told him that you’re skipping today’s practice, he looked disappointed.”

“I wonder why.”

Semi scoffed. “Yeah. I wonder why too.”

“And. . . what did you do with the letter I gave you earlier?”

“I left the pink one in his shoe locker after he left.”

“It’s blush pink.”

“Still pink.”

“Whatever.” Then, you coughed once again. “Thank you, Semi.”

“Mhm. But I still think it’s better if you just tell him directly. You do know that someone might claim to be this anonymous confessor, right?”

You sighed. “I’m working on it, Semi. Don’t worry.”

“Who said I’m worried?”

“Wow. Just. . . wow.”

“Rest and attend tomorrow’s practice. It’s not the same without—Tendō?” Your forehead scrunched. “Shit.”

“Oh God.”

“Go to sleep.”

Without another word, he ended the phone call. ‘He wouldn’t misunderstand. . . right?’

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

I’ve been watching you from afar since we’re freshmen. No, not in the creepy way. At first, I was a bit hesitant to be around with someone like you. Someone who shines vibrantly like a star, attracting almost everyone around you. Maybe one day I’d be courageous enough to approach you and tell you everything I’ve been wanting to say for years.

Sincerely,

Your Admirer

He placed back the small note inside the envelope before staring at it. So far, the hints he got from this letter alone is that they’re in the same year and that they’re somewhere near him. Not that it minimized the number of possible senders, but it is still something.

Maybe they’ll drop more hints in tomorrow’s letter. That is, if they’re attempting to copy what happened in the manga.

However, the next letters he received did not give away the identity of the sender. Aside from the possibility that they’re probably a girl. Although it’s possible that they’re not too.

“I feel more tired than usual,” he complained during lunch, after reading the latest letter from his admirer. For three weeks, they consistently leaves a letter in his shoe locker without anyone catching them. Not even the hallway monitor.

“What’s wrong Tendō?” Ushijima asked while looking at him with stern face.

“Nothing,” he briefly responded before glancing at Semi. “How’s your relationship with manager-chan?”

Semi choked upon hearing his question. “I’ve told you we’re not—”

“—you’re with her? I didn’t even noticed.”

Semi shook his head in response. “You got it all wrong. We’re not—”

“Whatever you say,” Reon teased while patting his shoulder. “She’s heading to the gym first, right?”

“I don’t know. Leave me alone,” Semi grumbled, not noticing Tendō’s gaze towards him.

Satori sighed before playing with his food. “Must be nice. . .”

“That’s it!” Semi exclaimed before looking at Satori’s eyes. “Meet me at the shoe locker thirty minutes after the practice. Make sure to pretend to walk towards the dorm.”

Tendō tilted his head while watching his friend walking away while holding the tray.

‘What’s wrong with him?’

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

“Confess!” You were startled when you heard Semi’s frustrated voice. “Please. Stop waiting for the ‘perfect time’ to confess.”

“I swear. I’ll do it next week.”

“You’ve said it before.”

“This time, it’s for real.”

“You do realize that next week would be the finals, right?”

“Yes. That’s exactly the reason why I wanted to do it next week.”

Semi sighed before patting your head. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Huh? Why?”

Instead of answering, he began to walk away from you while waving his hand. ‘What’s with him?’

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

Unfortunately, the practice dragged on and wasn’t able to meet Semi in the shoe locker. That’s also impossible considering that Semi’s stuck in the gym too just like him. Same goes for you who’s stuck with them too.

The next morning, he was disappointed that he wasn’t able to see a letter on the top of his indoor shoes. ‘Are they sick or something?’

With a sigh, he picked up his shoes before walking towards the classroom with a gloomy aura surrounding him. Until today, he wasn’t aware of the impact of his admirer in his life.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

‘Fuck,’ you grumbled as you rush towards the shoe lockers. You didn’t mean to run late. By late, you were attending your afternoon classes and missing your morning classes.

You were just too tired after last night’s practice.

You sighed before pulling out the letter you’ve prepared earlier. You stood in front of Satori’s shoe locker before taking a deep breath. You opened his locker and placed the letter inside.

“Y/N-chan?”

‘Shit.’

Sometimes, things just don’t happen according to your plans.

“Y/N-chan? What are you doing?” Satori asks in a playful way. Your hands were shaking as you slowly turn your head towards him. “You’re not planning to pull some prank on me, right?” he asks, squinting his eyes.

“A-Absolutely not,” you stuttered. “What the hell are you talking about?” You nervously chuckle as you close his shoe locker. You gave its door one last push before approaching him. “Aren’t you hungry, Tendō-kun? You’re hungry, right?”

You swallowed hard as soon as he leans towards you, way too close for your liking. “You’re keeping some—”

“—Tendō would you like to come with us?”

You let out a sigh when you both heard Wakatoshi’s voice.  Satori turns to Wakatoshi before nodding with enthusiasm. “Sure!” he chirps.

“Thank goodness!”

“After I deal with our cute manager-chan,” he says while grinning at you. “She’s been trying to keep something from me.”

“Oh, God. Wakatoshi. . . do not expose me, I beg you,” you thought while looking at Ushijima with wide eyes. You were silently praying that he’d notice the subtle gestures you were making.

“Oh, you know something, Wakatoshi-kun?”

You both waited for his response, but he just stood there, looking at you and the red-haired middle blocker.

Satori sighs.

“This is hopeless,” Satori says before glancing at you. “Come on. I’m starving!”

Thanks, God. For delaying the inevitable.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

The next morning, the typically loud and cheerful Tendō Satori was quiet. Too quiet and stiff as if he’s tensed. A lot of your classmates noticed it too and tried to ‘squeeze out’ some juicy information from him, but his lips are sealed.

You took a deep breath while fanning yourself with the notebook on your desk. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He definitely read the letter. Will he reject my proposal or will he accept it? God. I didn’t made him uncomfortable, right?” Your heart race while overthinking. “I hope this wouldn’t affect his performance later. . . wait, he’s only visiting the team later with Wakatoshi to train the rest of the team. Oh God. I almost forgot about the meeting I’ve arranged with the students who’d like to apply as the team’s manager.”

Your head unconsciously turns to Satori’s direction. It used to calm your nerves—looking at him, but now. . . now that your eyes met each other before you both looked away?

Damn.

You pursed your lips as you pleaded to your heart to calm down. But. . . an image of grinning Satori, and pleased Satori, and softy Satori flashed your mind.

You squeak.

Your classmates turn their attention to you before laughing.

Sometimes, you wish that the ground swallows you whole.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

The moment the bell chimes, you immediately cleaned up your desk. While placing your things inside your bag, you felt someone’s presence beside you. You tried your best to calm down, but catching a whiff of his not-so-heavy scent made you more nervous than you were earlier.

“Y/N-chan,” he called.

’Here it is. The moment of truth.’

“I. . .” he clears his throat. You look at him and watch him rubbing the back of his neck. “. . .I’ve read it and. . .” He purses his lips before meeting your eyes. “. . . I can’t wait until the end of our practice.”

“And?” you asked, preparing yourself for whatever his response would be.

“. . .I’ll see you tomorrow.”

That was all he said, but it made you cry–bawl–in sheer happiness.

You nodded your head, with tears and a wide smile on your face. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow!”

[haikyuuwriting]

CONGRATS ON 5K YOU DESERVE IT!!! I love your writing :) can I request Kunimi with the prompt "I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it." I’m also applying to college this year so I wish the both of us luck! YOU’ll do great !!

ridiculous sentence prompts

thank you!! I wish you luck in your applications too we got this!!!!! also I cannot believe this is the first thing I’ve written for kunimi omg

Kunimi doesn’t usually like going to other people’s houses just to “hang out.” He also usually doesn’t agree to stay up for ungodly hours just to realize two broke teenagers can’t buy a private island right this instant. But people change. And Y/N changed you~

He sat up abruptly from the bed, eyes opening to stare at Y/N’s bedroom wall. Even after he’s gone, Oikawa still finds a way to weasel his way into Kunimi’s mind and influence his actions.

Before he’d graduated and left the team, Oikawa had asked Kunimi about his relationship with Y/N. It was after practice, and after Y/N had peeked into the gym and wave at him before going off to club activities. Oikawa told him he’d never seen Kunimi smile at someone like that before.

“Y/N’s a friend,” he’d replied, not missing the look Kindaichi had given him.

And they were, he wasn’t lying. After sitting next to them for a few weeks in classes, Y/N became a quick friend, someone nice to talk to in class and even eat with at lunch with Kindaichi. Then they became study buddies, going over to each other’s houses after school. Then friends, hanging out on the weekends and teaching each other odd skills they’d picked up over the years.

And how here he was, sleeping next to them. They were third years now, about to graduate and go their separate ways. Y/N was planning on applying to the same college as Kunimi was, and he found himself hoping that they’d both get in and get to attend together. He couldn’t see himself without them anymore, and it was starting to scare him.

Y/N mumbled in their sleep. Kunimi was so used to their sleep talking he hardly noticed. 

At first, the thought of sharing a bed had made him blush way more than he’d like to admit. But after sleeping on the floor one too many sleepovers and waking up with a neck cramp, he finally caved and agreed to share half of Y/N’s surprisingly spacious bed. Now it wasn’t awkward at all, and sometimes he’d wake up with his arm wrapped around them, having cuddled closer in his sleep. 

Maybe this was more than they were both letting on. Kunimi turned to look at the sleeping Y/N, who was hugging a spare pillow to their chest, their mouth moving as they talked softly in their sleep. He was about to go back to sleep when he heard them mumble his name.

“Kunimi...” He froze, staring at them.

“Not Kunimi, your highness... Take me instead.”

Kunimi wasted no time in hitting Y/N with his pillow.

They awoke with a small scream, almost falling over the side of the bed in their hurried attempt to sit up. They scowled at him as they yawned, still clutching their pillow. “What?”

“You were having that dream again.”

Y/N furrowed their eyebrows in thought. Their eyes widened in horror as the dream seemed to settle in their minds, horrible flashes of the princess dragon making Y/N choose who to sacrifice. Themselves, or Kunimi.

Y/N had told him about this dream countless of times, how the dragon never went away unless Y/N said something. He thought it was an odd dream. “Just teach yourself to lucid dream,” had been his initial response.

"I understand the whole sleep talking thing,” Kunimi said quietly, not wanting to wake up anyone else in the Y/N household. “But what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it."

Y/N shifted from their spot across from him, their grip on the pillow tightening. “I watched a lot of fantasy movies as a kid, and in one of them the dragon princess didn’t let the heroes cross her land unless one of them stayed behind to be a servant for a year.”

“You’re not dreaming about Princess and the Dragon?” Y/N shot him a questioning look. “My little cousin made me watch it with her,” he explained.

“We should watch it sometime. No, it’s just a random royalty dragon. I always volunteer to stay behind.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

Kunimi gapes at them. Y/N isn’t looking at him, instead choosing to intently stare at their hands. It’s not the first time they’ve said it - they’ve been friends for years, and they’ve both said it to each other a few times before. It’s not a phrase they throw around lightly, though. “Plus, the dragon princess always lets me do what I want in the castle when you leave, as long as I just clean. I live a good life before I wake up.”

“Do I ever come back for you?” Kunimi demands, as much as he can in a whisper. Y/N glances at him, deep in thought. He doesn’t pause to think how bizarre this conversation is - it’s the middle of the night and here they are, discussing a dream Y/N has about royal dragons and it’s underlying meaning.

“I’ve never dreamed that far in. I always wake up before the year is over.”

“I wouldn’t leave you,” Kunimi says instantly. “I’d stay and be a servant with you.”

Y/N smiles at him. “You’re really nice sometimes, Kunimi.”

“Only to you,” he mumbles quietly as Y/N moves to settled back into bed. He remains sitting.

“Sorry for waking you,” Y/N whispers. “Go back to bed.”

“I was already awake,” Kunimi responds, staring at Y/N as they adjust themselves until they’re facing the ceiling, staring back at him. “I love you too, you know.”

“I know,” Y/N sighs, eyes fluttering closed. “You mumble it in your sleep sometimes.”

“I do?” Y/N’s already fast asleep. Kunimi settles back underneath the covers beside them, turning to face them. He didn’t realize he was a sleep-talker, too. He hears Y/N quietly start to talk again, and instinctively scoots himself closer to them until their noses are almost touching. He takes their hand in his, rubbing circles and watching as Y/N’s face softens and they stop whispering, their face once more relaxing and their breaths deepening as they sleep.

masterlist | 5k blogiversary celebration

[itsthestutterforme]

Sacrifices (Supernatural)

Summary: Y/N copes after Crowley sacrifices himself// mentions of death and depression

Characters: Crowley x reader, Dean x reader, Angry!Sam x reader

--

"What else is needed for the spell?" Crowley asks me. "Just one thing. The hardest thing. The sacrifice of a soul," you answer. We were in the endgame now. We needed to kill Lucifer before he could corrupt Jack anymore than he already did.

Dean, Sam, Cas and Mary worked to distract Lucifer while you and Crowley worked on the spell. Crowley stares at you a little longer than what you're used to.

Which leads you to think that something went wrong or something is about to go wrong. "What happened?" "Nothing happened," "Then why are you staring at me?" "Because I love you."

You stop doing the spell for a moment and lock eyes with him. "I love you too," he finds a sense of relief in your words. Love isnt something that was reciprocated to him before.

"What is this about, Crowley?" "Just make sure the spell is ready." You eye him skeptically and after a few seconds, you knew what he was going to do.

He stands up to walk away, you hold him back by the hand. You stand up and wrap your arms around him. He slowly wraps his arms around waist and you tighten your grip aroubd him.

"I'm proud of you." He squeezes you and kisses the top of your head before pulling away. You watch with wide eyes when Crowley walks up to Lucifier. "You know you can't beat me, Crowley." "I know," he says.

Crowley looks at you before stabbing himself with the demon blade. "No!" you yell. The light flashes in his face before he falls to the ground. His soul is sucked into the spell you were conducting the spell in.

Tears swell in your eyes and you whisper one last incantation and the rip between worlds was starting the shrink. Cas and Mary continued to fight Lucifer and you rush over to pick up Crowley.

You place his body across your shoulder blades and hold one of his legs and arms to keep him steady. Sam and Dean let me go through first. You walk a few feet before setting Crowley's body down and kneeling down next to him.

"You deserved better," you say to him before putting a hand on his chest. You lean your back against the porch of the shack and you look to the tree line in attempt to calm down.

More sobs escaped your mouth and you find yourself leaning your forehead against Crowley's. "I don't care what anybody says. You're a big softie. You were anyway,"

"No!" you look up to see Castiel being faced from behind and killed. Dean was the one who screamed. Castiel's body falls to the ground and the next thing I know, Mary is pushing Lucifier into the rip between worlds and it closed behind here.

It seems that everyone is going to grieve today. Sam looks to you but you transport away to United Kingdom to be buried.

**

Here you are in power surpressing cuffs, staring at a very angry Sam Winchester. Dean was in the very back, standing there quietly with his arms crossed. You haven't Sam this angry or Dean this quiet, it was starting to freak you out.

"What do you mean you can't bring you can't bring her back? I've seen witches revive themselves with different kinds of spells." he says. "Believe me, I tried." you say. Their silence encouraged you to continue.

"I had a best friend once. Someone that I knew for decades. We went to junior high together and we made arrangements to be roommates in college. But then one night, we were coming back from the gym and we were ambushed by a pack of muts. They had her by the throat, and I froze. I didn't utter a word, and they... tore her apart. I brought her corpse to some abandoned warehouse and tried to revive her for hours, and nothing."

"You think that would be the worst part but no. The worst part of all this was when I had to call her mother. I can still hear her screaming," you add as a few tears escape your eyes.

You quickly wipe them away and Sam says, "What you think you can let a few crocodile tears slip and you're off the hook?" "What the hell is wrong with you? I helped all of you out when you needed a witch and couldn't find Rowena anywhere,"

"You're a friend of Crowley's, we don't know you or your moral code." "Watch your mouth. He sacrificed himself for the spell. For you. The Crowley I knew never would have done that." you snap.

"Do you know what it feels like to lose all hope for saving someone because you're scared of breaking your own heart if you fail?" you add. "Yes," Dean finally says.

You and Sam look to him and he adds, "Sammy, I told you that it was best to let Mom go, and you go a kidnap an ally." "She's not an ally," "She helped us keep Lucifier away from Jack. Yes she is," Dean defends.

"You may have given up on Mom, but I won't. I refuse to do that." Sam says before rushing out of the room angrily. Dean walks towards you with the key to the handcuffs. "I understand why he's angry. I don't blame him for that." you say as he unlocks the cuffs and they clatter on the metal table.

Dean doesn't say anything and you stand up to walk out until your feet stops in their tracks. You turn around and grab a chair to sit down. "What are you doing?" "I know that look all too well. You're not doing so good with coping."

"I'm fine," "Look, I know what it's like to have no one. To be alone in a crowded room because you don't want to burden anyone with your emotions." "Bottling things in won't help," you add.

He stares at you but doesn't say a word. "Come on, I know a cheese steak joint that's open 24 hours," you add, holding out your hand. He looks at you hand for a moment before taking your hand into his. You say an incantation and transport yourself to Philadelphia, PA.

Dean's eyes widen as he tries to stabilize himself. "Why does that feel worse than when angels and demons do it?" "I dunno. Different creatures, different abilities." You say with a shrug before walking inside. Dean follows you in and you greet your buddy.

"Long time no see," "I was starting to miss your pretty face in here, pipsqueak," "Keep yappin' and I'll give toss you a knuckle sandwich, ya punk." You tease. "Missed you too, sweetheart." You and Dean sit and you feel his gaze on you when you take a once over of the menu.

"How you holding up?" Dean asks. "I'm holding, but isn't that a question I should be asking you?" You answer. "I'm holding too," "You don't have to open up if you don't want to. But I'm here to listen when you are." You tell him as he meets your gaze. "Hey, Reggy, can I get one of your famous cheesteaks with ex-" "Extra sauce. Of course, baby doll." "Thanks,"

"You seem to have a good relationship with him," Dean says. "Eh, found a loop hole in his cross roads demon deal. Felt indebted to me every since. I just love his cheesteaks. You should try one." You say. "You're different than other witches." "Really? How?" "You know how to appreciate people and make them feel cared for. Crowley, he.. he was better because of you." Dean says.

Your heart sinks when you hear Crowley's name. Reggy comes around with your philly cheesteak and fries. He sets it on the counter and you say thank you. "No problem baby doll," "How's the daughter doin'?" You ask. "Thinking of becoming a lawyer," "Lawyer? Wow," "Yeah, she wants to be where the action is,"

"I can understand that. I'll wish you luck. Tell her I asked for her alright?" "Sure, you want anything buddy?" Reggy asks Dean. "Uh just a coffee, black." Dean answers. "You got it,"

"There a pie joint just down the street if you want to go there instead." "No, I'm okay here. I just.. don't know where to start." Dean says. "Anywhere."

He clasps his hands together and says, "I'm tired, and I'm pissed. I'm pissed that it always has to be me and Sam that has the save the world when it goes to shit." "Why does it have to be you and Sam?"

"Because no one else will. It's always been like that. And there's always another problem after the next and the next and the next. There's no break. It's like we're stuck in a horror movie." Dean runs his hand through his hair and closes his eyes for a moment.

"Things between you and Sam seem pretty tense since.. nevermind. Sorry," you trail off. "Yeah, things are tense. He never got the chance to grow up with Mom. And when she finally came back, he thought he would have the chance, but... She died and he felt like that was stripped from him." "But that only makes more room for pain and grief. You would think I would be used to it by now bu-"

"The day you get used to death, is that day you stop being human. You can't be afraid to love because of the pain. Love and pain are two sides of the same coin." "Sometimes I should I couldn't feel a damn thing." He croaks, trying hard to keep it together.

You reach out and squeeze his hand comfortably. He slowly meets your gaze and you say, "Me neither,"

[writingsbychlo]

put her together again (06)

word count; 6299

summary; mitch goes to a therapy session, and hates what happens to you whilst he’s there, and hates himself even more for the role he plays in it.

notes; y’all, I gotta make one thing clear - I know irene comes off really awful, but think about how much she’s got to sacrifice to be able to save all the others.

warnings; anxiety attacks, and references to the following; child abuse, electrocution, imprisonment, stealing, and violence.

Mitch wasn’t sure what he had been expecting you to be like before a therapy session, but it wasn’t like this. Then again, this wasn’t your usual therapy session.

You were on edge, that much he could tell, but it wasn’t on edge in a way that he was used to. He’d seen you in many moods, all the way from the very first time that he’d met you as you’d been coming at him with a gun and a pocket knife, and a look in your eyes that read ‘no mercy’. He had seen fear in your eyes before, on the nights when you’d awoken in a fit of screams and tears, thrashing as your legs were tangled in your blankets until you’d rolled from the mattress so violently you’d hit the floor with a loud thud and he’d been rushing in to pick up the pieces and put you back together before morning. 

He’d seen you upset, both in the ways you let it out, tears in your eyes and a cracking voice when you’d been taken back to your parent’s house, the realisation and resurfacing of who you were being prominent in your mind. He’d also seen the version upset when you tried to hide it, when you’d been told that you were being moved out to your own place, even though you’d voiced how you didn’t want to leave him, or the betrayed look on your face when he’d been able to return after an entire week, leaving you to think for a whole seven days that he’d abandoned you.

Mitch had even seen you angry, in the way that was utterly terrifying as you sat with clenched fists until you’d cut crescent-moon shaped marks into your palms as the furrow between your eyebrows created trenches, moody and snappy on days when your drawings wouldn't come out quite right with the way you were picturing things in your head, or the when you would slip up in the way you regressed to yourself, when your progress took a tiny step backwards for all the steps forwards you took when you were tired.

This was nothing like any of those moments, though. 

This was chilling. It was calm and collected but unsettling quiet. It was a simple breakfast, with no music or dancing, and only the sounds of cutlery and tinkering pots and pans to break the tension, occasionally muttering underneath your breath. He was sure you could hear the grinding of his teeth as he listened to you remind yourself of who you were. Your name, your address, his name, your birthday, the gym you went to, your coffee order. Everything that made you who you were, making sure it was kept at the front of your mind, that nothing was slipping, and he absolutely hated that such a thing wasn’t something you got to take for granted like he did, that you lived every day in fear that it would all go away, slip from your grasp and slip from your life. 

He ate his food quietly, choking back the urge to speak up or reach out, to offer you comfort and reassurances, because he knew just how badly you needed to stick to your routines, just how much they meant to you, and therefore, he knew that interrupting you and messing them up for the slightly selfish actions just to put his own churning stomach at ease could have disastrous results on your anxiety, and your fragile mindset.

He watched as you slipped away, taking his plate when he was done and offering him a small flick of the lips upwards, but you had barely met his eye at all this morning, and he could count the total words you’d spoken to him since waking on his fingers, and he figured he was already disrupting your rituals before your cognitive hypnotherapy sessions just by being here, but that he couldn't compromise on. He had to see it, he had to know that Irene was looking after you, that you were being cared for the way he would, that they weren’t using you as a source of information and draining you down more than you could handle, sapping you of all energy until you were just a hollow and broken shell. Not when he’d worked so hard to save you, and helped you to build that life that you so truly deserved.

With dishes washed and left out to dry, you slipped away without a word, your back to him as you wandered down the corridor to the bathroom, the door clicking shut, and a second later, the water heater had been humming lowly inside of the cupboard and the sound of water thrashing against the bottom of the tub, disrupted by your body joining the mix. He was left alone, to wander your bedroom and find some of his clothes, dumping the spare ones in your laundry hamper and knowing that you’d keep them and wash them, and he’d find them in the exact same drawer the next time he came over. 

You were wrapped in a robe when you emerged, a little startled as the two of you met in the doorway, but for the first time that morning, you offered him the same kind of affections that he was used to. Your shoulders sagged, stiff tension dropping away for just a second, before you were slipping your eyes shut, leaning in enough to bump your forehead to his shoulder, twisting your head to rest your cheek in its place, and he could feel your short puffs of breath against his skin.

“I’m sorry.”

He wrapped an arm around you, squeezing tightly enough that you sighed out against him, your body slumping into him a little further. 

“These mornings are always weird, it just puts me on edge. I’m not purposefully shutting you out.”

Turning to rest his chin atop your head, Mitch let his own breath go slowly, fingers running over your arm lightly. “I know that, and I understand it. You don’t have to apologise.” You only nodded in response, your hand coming up to sit on his waist, fingers curling in the material of his top as you allowed yourself a final moment to cling to him, to forget where you were going and what you were doing for a few seconds more, and when you shifted a little, he loosened his grip, chuckling as you hesitated in your movements. “You should get ready, Irene will be here soon.”

You backed away, closing the door as he left to have your privacy, and once again, he was shut out from you as you slipped back into your tightly locked state, protecting yourself against your circumstances. He busied himself, little jobs he knew you would’ve done yourself later but he could help you with now, putting away your dishes and plates and making sure everything as neat and tidy, the perfect way for you to come home to after you were shaken up from having someone digging through in your mind and shifting through your every memory and thought for the information they wanted, discarding what they didn’t as though it didn’t matter, like it wasn’t something just as vital in what made you who you are.

Drawers opened and closed, the creaking of floorboards as you wandered around, before the humming of a hairdryer was taking up, soothing enough to him with the ticks and shakes it made for him to use it to steady his own heart rate. This morning - this day - was all about you, he was just here to support you, but the few moments of singular reprieve he got to calm his own nerves and try to get past his own anxiety was more than eagerly welcomed, needing to collect himself so that he could be the strong one between you both today.

There was a soft knocking at the door, and he smirked a little, wandering over and taking his time in undoing the locks, before he was opening it up and offering an openly fake smile to the woman before him, who fixed him with a scowl in response. “You’re here.”

“I said I would be. Eight sharp, yes?”

“Shame. I was rather hoping we’d get to leave you behind.” He scowled at her then, being sure not to move out of the doorway to invite her inside as he reached for his shoes, a hand on either side of the doorframe to tug on his shoes, before his coat was following and he was sticking his arms out in jerky movements to pull the sleeves up, blocking her from stepping into the apartment as she huffed. He knew he was being childish, but the glare she gave him upon having no further actions or responses was more than enough to justify it, in his opinion. 

They were locked in an intense stare-down when you finally emerged, clearing your throat, entirely unaware of the aggressive anger between the two, and you were pulling a warm coat up your arms. A pair of his sweatpants and a simple top, a knitted cardigan with black speckles in cream-coloured wool was sitting on your body, before you were slipping on your shoes, staring at them both expectantly.

“I’m ready. We can go.”

“Great, Mitch can take his own car.” It was a more chipper voice than he had ever heard from Irene, and he scoffed as he watched you lock the front door, a hand on your lower back as he guided you along, choking down the lump in his throat as he picked up the shake in your body as your nerves got the best of you.

“We have another, today?” The therapist jutted her chin out in Mitch’s direction, despite her gaze being locked with Irene’s, his superior only giving a curt nod, and you were lingering in the doorway, picking at the loose threads of your cardigan. “Come on in, (Y/N). Sit yourself down.” She was friendly enough, and you seemed to accept her words as such, shuffling your way over to the couch after hanging up your coat, and you settled down in the middle, laying out one of the pillows to lay downwards instead, and reaching out across the wooden surface to pour yourself a glass of water. “What about our guest?”

She turned to him now, and he cleared his throat, smiling politely as he offered her his hand, his name following, and she shook it gently, before his boss was making her presence known once again. “Rapp is here to observe, he won’t be interfering.”

It was like one of those times your parent inadvertently spoke to you while pretending to be polite in front of others, and he felt like he was being chastised by his mother for being loud and obnoxious in public, the woman nodding her head towards one of the chairs in the corner that he could sit on. You were sipping on your drink, eyes following the every movement of ‘Doctor Lindsay’ as she sat across from you, legs crossed as she leaned forwards, everything about her body language being relaxed and soothing as you sipped at your drink.

“Are you ready to begin?”

Your eyes flicked up to his, not looking for permission or support, simply as though you’d almost forgotten he was there, shocked a little by his presence, and the silence in the room felt stifling, before you cleared your throat. “I’m ready.”

“You remember all of the questions, and the routine we’ll be going through?”

“Yes, Doctor Lindsay, I remember.” Your voice was steady, emotionless once again, and a shudder went along his spine. Your eyes seemed duller, your lips in a neutral frown, and he felt like he was meeting you for the first time all over again. Crossing his arms over his chest in a protective manner, Irene leaned over the back of the couch as you lay yourself down, head propped on the pillow you’d laid out and legs stretched out all the way to the end. 

“I want you to listen to my voice. Just my voice, okay?” You let out a slow breath, and Mitch found himself copying your movements, exhaling slowly in a mimic of what you’d done, and the rigidity of his muscles gave way a little. “I want you to focus on your breathing, and on your heart rate. Slow, in and out, as slow as you can go. Let it all go. Focus on your heartbeat.” 

You licked at your lips, taking a final deep breath, and holding it in your lungs, and he could hear his own heartbeat pounding in his eyes, clenching his eyes shut as he tried to clear his mind, shaking it all away and bringing himself back to consciousness as her soothing voice and simple commands began to get him to slip into a haze place as well. She had an iPad out, bringing up a simple panel of controls, before the lights in the room were dimming considerably, and the hum of the heaters came to a stop, air conditioning taking its place, and the one above his head sent a sudden wave of cold chill into the darkened room. The blinds were closed now, so far that he had to squint to still see you, and he muffled the yawn he wanted to release, wrapping his arms tighter around himself as the temperature within the room dropped.

“Unit eight. State your location.”

He felt bile rise in his throat, the cool and commanding tone to your voice, and your entire body suddenly locked up, that tranquil calmness you’d gained while studying your own heartbeat was gone, your hands forming fists by your side and your body going stiff, and he could see the last bits of who you’d become slip away before his very eyes; “Unit eight is in the dorms, ma’am.”

“Which dorms, unit eight? Which building are you in?”

“Units are not disclosed that information, ma’am.” She nodded her head, humming to herself as she placed the device down, her and Irene sharing a look, before a voice-note recorder was being turned on, only a blinking light to signal that it was active. 

“How old are you, unit?”

“This unit was born eight years, one month and six days ago, ma’am.” She was happy with that revelation, shifting in her chair, before her tone was going slightly softer once again. 

“Can you tell me what is happening, right now? Tell me where you are, what you can see and feel and hear, what are you thinking?”

“I-I see the dorms. My bed, the sheets are scratchy, I don’t like how they feel when I sleep on them, it makes my skin feel itchy. I can hear the guards, they’re changing any minute now, the ones outside the door are getting impatient. There’s plastic, smooth, clean, and cold.” Your fingers twitched a little, your hand moving as though you were holding onto something, and then there was a laminated playing card slipped into your hold, your fingers flexing around it. Your thumb stroked over the material, before you were letting out a sudden gasp. “It’s quiet, now. The showers are running, that’s where the other units are. They’re good, I want to be good, but I don’t like it here. I don’t like it here, please, I don’t like it here.”

You were choking up, voice childlike and cracking as you spoke, slipping between the way he’d known you to refer to yourself as, and a child who didn’t know any better, the inner monologue of a frightened youth who was being made into a monster. “Focus, unit eight. It’s quiet now, why?”

You sniffled, gripping the plastic in your hand again tightly. “The guards are gone. It’ll be forty-six seconds before the others get here. The rounds are changing.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means it’s time to go.” There was a finality to your voice now, determined and adamant like a petulant child, before you were taking a deep breath, body jerking slightly from your feet and upwards, as though you’d jumped and landed on them harshly, and he imagined that was from the impact of hitting the floor as you jumped down from bunk beds. 

“Tell me what you’re doing, unit eight.”

“I’m looking out of the window in the door. It’s small, I can’t see much, but I can see the hall. It’s clear. I remember the way, from training this week. I remembered. The second left, the first left, the third right, then straight ahead until I get to the big grey door.”

“Correct. How do you plan to open the door?”

“I stole a keycard. I have to go. I have to go now!” Your voice was becoming more frantic, and then, it all seemed to kick off. Your arm jerked, the one holding the card, as though you’d swiped the card over the door and opened it. Your legs twitched, jerking with each step as your breathing became shallow, like you were running, laboured and gasping as you went, and your entire body was shifting from side to side, up and down, subtle movements, but a considerable amount of twitching nonetheless. You were mumbling directions to yourself, marks you remembered, passing the labs and the gym, as well as the cafeteria, before a cry left you. “No, no, no!”

“What is happening now, unit eight? Tell me what’s happening.”

“There’s an alarm. It’s only been half a minute, they shouldn’t know I’m gone yet! The lights are red, and flashing. It’s loud, it hurts my eyes and my ears.” He knew what they were approaching, Irene had explained it all to him after choosing to travel with him on the drive over. You hit a wall, you got to your escape, and they knew you made it outside but then your mind closed in on itself, and you were lost to them. As soon as you could tell them what happened on the other side of the door, they could track the location, but you never could. “I’m confused. I lost count! I don’t know where to go!”

You sounded broken, and his heart clenched for you, standing up a little straighter and Irene turned her gaze to his own immediately, a silent glare that screamed at him to stay put, and he had to bite his tongue just to stop from making a comment and telling her to back off. Clearly, they were used to this, they must’ve seen you like this a dozen times, but it didn’t hurt him any less.

“The second left, the second left.” You were mumbling to yourself now, panting as you spoke, your chest rising and falling quickly. “The first left and the third right.” Your body was twitching again, like you’d run the route through in your mind and remembered where to go, before you were letting out a cry again, this one sounding a little more victorious. “The big grey door!”

“Have you found the door, unit eight?”

“Yes! Yes, I can make it!” Your arm moved again, before you were shaking, once along your body, and the temperature in the room went down again, even colder, and he assumed that wherever it was you were being kept at the time must’ve been somewhere icy. Irene turned on the fan beside you, harsh winds blowing silently over your body, your hair moving around lightly with the strands that framed your face. Their bodies both sagged as you cheered, before your face was falling again, and you were beginning to let out sobs. “They found me. They found me! It’s too slippery, I can’t make it! There’s too much snow, it’s too much!”

Irene ran a hand through her hair, the plastic dropping from your hands as you began to scrabble, breathing desperately and as your knees jerked, cries and whimpers leaving you as he watched your body shift in diluted movements of climbing and falling, trying to drag yourself along. You were hyperventilating, you were panicking, shutting in on yourself and you couldn’t take it anymore. “Can you tell me what you see, unit eight?”

You only let out another cry, and he watched as the therapist reached for the device, Irene standing up robotically and already reaching for the switch on the fan again as he decided enough was enough, your words mixed with desperate drags of breath and shakes as you got stuck in the cold. 

“That’s enough. Stop it, you’re breaking her!”

“Rapp!”

“Unit eight is-” Your words cut off, Irene letting out a sigh as the flashing light on the device was taken off, Doctor Lindsay’s entire body deflating, and he didn’t care about how much they needed this information, or how much trouble he would get into, he just needed to be there for you right now. His hand found yours, and you whimpered under your breath, before you were squeezing his hand back. “Mitch, it’s so cold. I’m so cold. I’m scared.”

“I know, sweetheart, it’s okay. I'm here with you.”

“Hold on.” Irene’s hand shot out, her mouth agape a little, and the therapist seemed just as shocked. “Continue on, continue!” The device was turned back on, and he adjusted himself on his knees, opening his mouth to protest before the doctor was speaking over him. 

“Unit eight, can you tell me what’s happening?”

“Mitch, they’re here! I’m not fast enough, I’m so cold!” Tears slipped out of your eyes now as you gripped at his hand, and he winced as your nails dug into his skin, scratching as you scrabbled. “No! No, please, no!” Your back arched up off of the couch, a violent motion that made everybody jump back, a loud shout tearing from you, one of the most broken and distressed sounds he’d ever heard.

“Get her out! Now!”

“No, we’ve never gotten this far!” Irene yelled back, uncaring of being delicate now, not wanting to break the trance, her desperation for the information taking over. “Ask her, Mitch, ask her what she sees! She’s responding to you! You’re in her mind deep enough that even her subconscious is seeking you out for comfort, you’re helping her keep going.”

His nostrils flared, but he knew he had to do as told, and so he turned back to you, a shaky hand brushing away your tears gently, before you flinched violently, pulling away from his touch. “Sweetheart, can you tell me where you are? What do you see, tell me about it? How would you paint it?”

“Paint it?”

“What colours would you use? What would it look like?”

You steadied your breath, relaxing slightly as you gasped, wet breaths as more hot tears slipped down your cheeks. “White. There’s so much snow, and there’s grey, too. Looks like there’s a storm coming.”

“You’re doing so good, keep going for me.”

He brushed a hand along the edge of your face, and you tipped into his warmth a little, your mind instinctually searching for him, his heart skipping a beat in his chest as you did. “Green. The trees are tall, so tall they block out the sun, there’s shadows, and the woods look dark, but I can’t take the road. It smells like Christmas.”

“Pine trees. There are pine trees.” The therapist's words were drowned out as you continued to whimper quietly before him. He shushed you gently, watching as you continued to fight, but your shivering was calming a little.

“Tell me about the building.”

“I can see it now, I’m almost at the end of the garden, the fences are broken, I broke them last week so I could get through.” He nodded, waiting for you to continue. “It’s a big warehouse, not like the usual houses. There are lots of colours on the side. Drawings.”

“Graffiti?”

“Yes.” You mumbled this word, going quiet, and suddenly your whole body is stiff. “They’re too close. I can’t go yet. I need to hide. Mitch, we need to hide.”

“Okay, sweetheart. We’re hiding.” You hummed, and he could see your eyes darting around under your eyelids, breathing held, and he rubbed his other hands gently over your ribs, coaxing you to take a breath before you hyperventilated. “Tell me about the drawings, what are they?”

“Not drawings, it’s words. It’s a warning.” 

“What does it say?” You were getting frantic now, whimpering under your breath as a child would, and he felt sick to even be partaking in this, but you were so passionate about it, he knew that if you were of your own mind right now you would have told him to keep going, and you’d already told him how much you wanted to help the others. He needed to know that he could make you safe, that he could use this information to make sure he brought down whatever organisation had ruined you, and make sure they’d never harm you again.

“Берегитесь Ахмеровского леса, он проклят.” Beware the Akhmerovsky Forest, for it is cursed.

“Is that Russian? Did you get that?” He’d almost forgotten about Irene and the therapist, but she confirmed that she’d got it, the blinking device being waved in the air, and the two women looked elated, before he growled, cutting them off and drawing their attention back to him. 

“Great, now you’ve had your fill of picking through her mind, can you bring her back?”

“Unit eight, can you hear me?”

“Mitch! Mitch, they’re coming!” You were whispering now, your hand clenching around his as your entire body went stiff, and he opened his mouth to reply, before a loud shout left you. Your entire body jerked, head to toe, and you were sobbing now, shouting and crying out for help, his name mixed in along the pleas and begs. “No, no, I’m sorry! Please, no! Mitch! Help me! I’m sorry!”

You were struggling to breathe, tears flowing from your cheeks as your legs kicked, your arm flying out so fast he barely had time to avoid it, and your glass of water was knocked to the floor, water spraying everywhere and glass shattering on the wooden tiles with a cracking sound that made him wince. “Sweetheart, can you hear me?”

“Mitch! Where are you? Mitch, please!” Quite possibly the worst scream Mitch had ever heard sounded out, blood-curdling and enough to make him feel the clenching of his stomach. Your hand was limp in his now, before it was flying up to grip at your ribs, and your breathing struggled. The cushion under your head slipped from the couch, your body twisting to the side, curling into the fetal position as you spasmed, like you were being beaten, and he could feel his own tears leaking from his eyes now.

Irene was shouting, authority and power in her voice, but it was no use, because among the white noise was Doctor Lindsay, trying to get through to you, every keyword and trigger break the two of you had was flailing from her lips, but you weren’t even responding to his voice anymore, panting and whimpering as you relieved each blow and beat in your mind. Finally, you stopped, crying to yourself quietly, and Mitch thought maybe that would be the entire scene, that would be the only fuel to haunt his sleep for the next few months, but then, you were scratching at your chest trying to breathe as it seemed you couldn't even get the oxygen into your lungs, what he knew well as a panic attack was forming.

“No, please, don’t lock me away! I’ll be good, I promise! Please!”

You were making fists again, knuckles white from the intensity of it, and he reached out to try and uncurl your fingers before you cut into your palms, but you jerked away from him. Your back left the couch, your entire body shaking and vibrating in a way he knew was a form of electrocution, and he clapped a hand over his own mouth to stop the noises he wanted to make from being released.  

“Don’t leave me here! I’m scared, it’s dark! Please, don’t leave me!” You were getting worse now, a clammy sweat lining your skin as your body began to go entirely calm, each organ shutting down and becoming sluggish as the panic took over, but you still couldn't breathe, that part of you was still in overdrive as it failed to work. “Please!”

It was the last word to leave you, before finally, you were able to take a deep and gasping beat, everything going silent as your mind gave in, passing out on the couch as reliving the panic attack made you short circuit, giving up to reboot as it all became too much.

It had been hours, Mitch eventually having moved to sitting on the couch beside you, your legs across his lap after repositioning the cushion under your head. After it was all over, the quiet was more deafening to him than your screams had been.

Sprawled out on the cushions, you had looked utterly exhausted, panic and stress still stitched onto your features, your hair messy from your thrashing with flushed cheeks, but he figured the slow breaths you were taking was a good enough step, calm and quiet taking over the room. Irene moved first, motioning the therapist to go with her, and the two had stepped out of the room. At any other time, he would’ve followed them, demanding to know what information it was they were exchanging, but right now he was willing to let them have their confidentiality, because he was more concerned with your well-being.

He smoothed back your hair, lifting your head up to place a cushion underneath, and he couldn't resist the urge to press a kiss to your forehead, mumbling an apology into your skin for letting this happen to you, and for being a part of it. He comforted himself by knowing that you were happy, he soothed his own nerves by pretending that he knew how much you wanted this and that it excused the way he’d acted, but it didn’t. He should have fought harder to refuse, and he should have fought harder to resist Irene’s demands, or to pull you out while you were listening to him. 

You’d had to relive the event that had been the final breaking of your spirit, the final piece that had made you into an obedient soldier who would do as told, and when you’d subconsciously put enough trust in him not to shut down, he’d made you go through it all. He felt awful, and so as the hours dragged on and the light faded away, the therapist and his superior having left you both alone a long time ago, he was still sitting here, waiting for you. 

The dimple between your brows was gone, smoothing out, and the frown that seemed so reply embedded had faded, your face was simply left blank, chest rising and falling slowly, and it was enough to tempt him into a serene level of calm himself. 

His head was resting against the back of the couch, eyes closed as the turning of the ceiling fan made him feel dizzy, and so he’d opted for complete darkness instead to block them out. With a hand smoothing over your leg, he waited patiently, head snapping up when he finally felt a more solid twitch than everything else had been. 

He watched again, your nose scrunching up a little as you began to surface, and your lips parted, a deeper breath than the even ones you’d been taking as you slept, and his lips flicked up at the sides as you began to rise back up out of your unconscious. Suddenly, just like that, the peace was shattered once again. You let out a loud cry, fists clenching again before you were screaming, letting out a stuttered call of his name, followed by a sob, and he couldn't get to his feet fast enough. 

He was kneeling by your side, skin growing damp from sweat once again as he tried to cup your face despite your thrashing, and you sat bolt upright with such speed that he felt backwards, banging his elbow on the coffee table and hissing out in pain as he grabbed it, but his attention was solely on you. Your eyes were glossed over and filled with tears, once that promptly began to leak down your cheeks, fast and heavy tears that dripped away to leave marks on your clothes, and he tried to swallow down the lumps in his throat as he watched you. 

You still seemed a little dazed, staring off into space, and you jumped violently when he cleared his throat, as though you hadn't even known he was there until you were looking at him. Fear and panic became anger, and he almost flinched under your glare as you backed away from him, pulling your knees up to your chest as you pressed back into the cushions. 

“You left me!”

He gaped, staring at you in shock, before hurt was washing through his body again, the tone of your voice breaking him, each crack and wave as you stared at him, sniffling sadly and clinging to yourself for support. Shifting again, he moved, taking a seat beside you on the couch, and you didn’t move any further away, but you refused to meet his eyes, and he let out a deep sigh. 

“It got bad, and you left! You left me alone!”

“It wasn’t real, sweetheart..” You cut yourself off before even saying your next words, raising your eyes to look at him, before you were whimpereing a little under your breath, and he tried to inch a little closer to you now. 

“It wasn’t?”

“No, it just felt real.” He offered a hand out, placing it on your knee slowly as you watched him go, but he smiled a little when you didn’t push him away or back off, your tense stance slipping away a little as exhaustion too over, the fight or flight instinct slipping out of your body and leaving you with nothing but aches and pains, and very tired. “I promise, I would never leave you. I’m sorry I helped them, but you did so well, sweetheart, and now you’ll never have to do it again.”

“It’s all over?”

“It’s all over.” You only nodded, wiping your cheeks on your sleeve, and he could see how sensitive and sore the puffy skin must been, your eyes red, just like the tip of your nose, and he watched as you seemed to process the information, cogs working inside your mind as you became yourself again.

“You won’t leave me?”

“Never. I promise.” You let out a slow breath, before you were uncurling your body and slumping down onto the couch cushions. He offered his hands, standing and pulling you to your own feet, and your legs almost buckled underneath yourself. “C’mon, let’s get you out of here.” 

You grinned a little at that, and he didn’t realise just how much he’d been longing to see that expression on your face again until he was seeing it now. He helped you put on your jacket, and grabbed his coat, patting down his pockets for his keys, tugging them out as you signed your name and the time in the visitor book at the front reception, mumbling a goodbye to the friendly receptionist who wished you a good evening, before you were on your way with him out of the clinic. “I just want to go home, now.”

He wasn’t sure you even knew you’d said the words, but he nodded anyway, holding the car door open for you and letting you hop up into the seat. 

He quickly followed your actions, and he couldn’t get away from the therapy practice fast enough, watching in his mirrors as it faded away into her distance, until it was blocked by other buildings and he could no longer see it, finally feeling like he could relax fully. You were safe, and conscious again, and he knew you never had to go back. You’d forgiven him, and so maybe now he could forgive himself, and he felt like the white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel could let up. 

You were playing with the music channels, settling on a classical music station, the low notes of piano and guitar filling the vehicle, and it was soothing to say the least, feeling like each little melody helped to lift away his fears and wash it from his mind, and you were hypnotised by the headlights of other cars, watching as they flashed by along the roads as he took various turns, before you were sitting up a little straighter, staring out of the glass at the road.

“No, no, Mitch. I want to go home.”

He turned, glancing at you quickly, and fixing you with a puzzled look, but you didn’t see it, staring out on the garden with concern once again. “That’s where we’re going, you live here.”

“No, I don’t want to go to where I live.” You reached over, your hand resting on his arm, squeezing urgently as he slowed down the car. “I want to go to our home.”

Mitch felt his heart leap in his chest, lost for words for a second, before he was only nodding, driving right past your building and picking up speed once again, and he didn’t miss the relieved noise you made as he did. “Okay, sweetheart. We can go home.”

[blazedgraysons]

Killing Me Softly

The one where Grayson falls in love in under 12 hours

A/N: Here’s another fic inspired by literally nothing. I am pretty proud of this one though. To all the people who said nice things about Drunk Off You, just know that I read every single one of them and you own my heart and soul. Also, I know literally no one knows who I am but feel free to send asks or messages. I pinky promise to respond. ♡

Word Count: 1.7K

Pairing: Grayson Dolan x OC (Harlow)

Warnings: nothing really, it’s pretty tame minus a lil angst towards the end. 

“Are you B29?”

Harlow removes an earbud, looking up to meet big brown eyes staring back at her. It’s hard not to notice the rest of the man standing in the aisle.

Brown hair flops over his forehead as she moves her eyes down to appreciate the soft scuff lining his chin - not quite a beard, but not quite stubble. He’s dressed casually in a gym shirt that outlines every single bulging muscle paired with grey sweatpants and some Louis Vuitton slides. She nods slightly to his question, hoping the adonis of a man doesn’t notice that slight blush that’s appeared on her face. He offers her a gracious smile and effortlessly slings his carry-on into the overhead cabin.

“Looks like we’re neighbors then.” Harlow hums in acknowledgment, not sure why he’s so friendly. Most passengers would’ve just grabbed their seat and slept or occupied themselves, but this man intends on making himself known.

He slides into the neighboring seat, and Harlow is instantly overwhelmed. If she thought he looked good from afar, up close was even better. Here she could appreciate all the minute details — the dark mole on his chin, the expensive cologne, the 333 tattoo behind his ear. It took everything in her not to stare, so instead, she settles for quick glances hoping he would be too occupied by his phone to pay her any attention. If he did notice, he spared Harlow further embarrassment by not saying anything. She turns back to her magazine, a random Vogue issue she picked up in the airport convenience store to pass the time, mentally telling herself to calm down in order to get through the next three hours.

“ I’m Grayson, by the way. Just in case we crash, and you need to identify me.” He jokes, smiling widely and — oh shit, does he have a diamond in his tooth? Harlow is so screwed. 

—-

Grayson’s never been a big believer in fate until now. The idea of some external force dictating a situation in your life just seemed like bullshit. Yet, Grayson couldn’t describe meeting Harlow as anything else.

He had been irritated all the way up to that point. An overbooked plane forced him off his original flight and away from his twin brother. Ethan had offered to go with him, but Grayson didn’t see a point in delaying their trip even further and told him he’d meet him in Jersey. While the airline was over apologetic and gave him (terrible) perks, in order to make the next flight, he had to sacrifice his first-class seat for an economy red-eye flight. But at least he had a shitty hot towel to make up for it.

He scowled all the way through the check-in and tarmac, vowing to never fly with JetBlue again as he passed the first-class seats that he couldn’t help but stubbornly think, ‘That should be mine.’

It wasn’t until he reached his row that he realized what he thought was a hindrance was actually a blessing. Because there sitting in the seat next to him was a beauty that could only be described as ethereal. Her long, dark hair tumbles in tight coils down her shoulders as she sits crossed-leg, hunched over a magazine, biting her lip in furrowed concentration. She bobs her head slightly to whatever song she’s listening to as she quickly flips through the pages. She tucks her hair behind her shoulder, revealing blemished copper skin that reflects the light.

A small voice in his head (that suspiciously sounds like Ethan) tells him to stop being weird and talk to her. Before he can justify themillion reasons why he shouldn’t, an annoying cough comes from the lady behind him.

He turns around to glare at her a little and asks the mystery girl her seat number with a smile that he hopes comes off as charming and not predatory.

And fuck, he knows she has to be a blessing because she looks like she was sent straight from the gates of heaven to Grayson’s heart. Ironically, the plane’s fluorescent lights form a halo around her head (‘Or maybe you’re finally losing it.’ Ethan's voice tells him.) He blinks, once, twice, three times before realizing that the girl in front of him isn’t a sleep-deprived hallucination and is actually real. He tries to act unaffected by the slow once-over her round, onyx eyes give him. Still, when he notices her eyes lingering on his chest and thighs, he swallows hard before throwing his suitcase into the overhead and sitting down. 

The grumpy lady behind him gives him a look as she moves down the aisle, and he whips out his phone for a welcomed distraction. The girl, unaware of the havoc she was wreaking on Grayson’s mind and body, continues to sneak looks at him that were a little too obvious for Grayson to not notice. He debates whether or not to ask for her name until she turns back to her magazine and Grayson figures that she doesn’t want to be bothered anymore. It wasn’t until the voice in his head repeatedly calls him a pussy (‘Shut up, Ethan’ he thinks back) that he introduces himself. And when her plump lips turn up into a smile, Grayson pretends to not notice how screwed he is. 

—-

Conversation flows smoothly between the two of them after that. Grayson explains the situation with his original flight and his plans to surprise his mom for mother’s day while Harlow talks about her little brother and the birthday party she helped plan for him this weekend. They talk for so long that their conversation turns from typical discussion to hushed whispers to not disturb the other sleeping passengers. They finally pause for a break when the beverage attendant stops at their row.

Harlow’s honestly glad for the lull in conversation as it gives her time to reflect over what she’s learned. Grayson appears to be very humble despite being heavily involved in the influencer scene in Los Angeles, something Harlow desperately tries to stay far away from herself. Also, despite being one of the hottest guys she’s ever seen, he seems to be so shy that it’s endearing. She notices he stumbles over words, getting so excited about their conversations that he trips himself up.

“So in LA, what do you do for fun? Any friends? Boyfriend?” He asks coolly, trying not to be obvious about his intentions (which makes it so much more apparent in Harlow’s eyes) as he drinks his diet root-beer.

“I work for a high- fashion company doing PR, so I’m always there. I have a couple close friends, but since I’m working so much, I haven’t had that much time for a relationship or finding a guy worth making time for.” Harlow sighs wistfully.

“Ah, that makes sense about the magazine.” He nods, trying to hide his excitement. This situation seems to be working more and more in his favor. “And what guy would be worth making time for?”

“I don’t know honestly. It just seems that all the guys I run into in LA are beyond superficial. All my dates have just been talking about how many followers they have on Instagram or TikTok and just end in hookups. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just hard when you want something more, you know?” She shrugs. And as much as Grayson hates to admit it, he does know. Hell, he’s probably been that guy once or twice in his younger years. Still, as he grows older, he craves the same things Harlow does: intimacy, connection, emotion. He takes another swallow of his drink before responding.

“Yeah, I mean hookups and one-night stands are great in the moment, but it’s hard when you just have love you want to give. It’s even harder now that my brother’s dating someone, ya know. Seeing someone you’re close with have what you want; it’s kinda hard not to be jealous.” He shares, hoping she relates and doesn’t think he’s weird for telling so much to someone he met a few hours earlier.

Harlow sits with that for a second before responding, “And what girl would you want to give your love to?” She whispers.

’Someone like you.’ Grayson thinks. But before he could make the bold confession, the plane announces its descent.

——

Grayson realizes almost immediately that he wasn’t paying that much attention to the flight details because the fact that there was a layover in Colorado flew over his head. He lets Harlow pass by him to stand in the aisle and grabs both his and her carry-on to take off the plane. As Grayson stands behind her (and tries not to stare at how incredible her ass looks in her leggings), he does what he’s best at: forming a game-plan. He realizes that a girl like Harlow is too good to let go. So, he figures he could grab a coffee with her, get her number, and plan a date for when they both are back in LA. He smiles, already thinking of the story he’ll get to tell Ethan when he gets to Jersey. As they both slowly move into the terminal, Harlow turns back to Grayson with a bright smile. He smiles back before asking —

“Do you want to get coffee?” He can’t help his heart from swelling as she bites her lip, a habit he notices she does a lot.

“Good, I thought you weren’t going to ask.” She laughs. “Wait here though, I have to run to the restroom.”

He nods, handing Harlow her carry-on. He sits down and pulls out his phone, already texting Ethan that he met his future soulmate.

Five minutes pass: He’s got the future planned out: the wedding, the kids, the farmland in Jersey and the tiny-home in Australia.

Ten minutes pass: He starts to get worried, but figures Harlow can handle herself.

Thirty minutes pass: He considers sending someone to the bathroom to check on her.

Two hours passed: He’s already cased the domestic airline terminal twice, looking for her dark curly hair. 

It’s not until the final call of flight 437-A to New Jersey that he understands: Harlow’s not coming back for him. And he can’t help it when his heart splits into two.

[jhoudiey]

I haven’t really been feeling my writing much lately so everything has sort of come to a screeching halt. In the meantime, I’ve been reading a book book rather than manga to try and get a grasp on how words work without it all being dialogue, and thought I’d give a writing prompt I’d had saved a go.

Had a bit of fun with it, though apologies for not writing much of the other characters. I haven’t studied them as much as the fish so I’m not comfortable I can write them in character well enough to have them be a focus. Entire story under the cut, 1460 words, TW for blood.

How the hell did I get dragged into this? Yoru thought to herself as she flew idly above the other players on the dodgeball court. One second she had been enjoying her day reading in a tree out in the courtyard, the next she was in the middle of what was apparently a very heated game between bitter rivals. She’d never seen a dodgeball club, nor heard of one, so she was very confused on how this bitter rivalry had even started. She’d tried to ask Ace, but every time he tried to explain he’d ended up nearly being hit with a ball and shouting DAMN YOU GIANTS! She suspected it may have something to do with how tall everyone was, since everyone on the opposite team were indeed “giants”. Yoru looked at her team, Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Kalim. They were all eager to play, but none of them were particularly good at dodgeball. Not surprisingly the “giant” team had begun to sway the game in their favor once they stopped aiming for her. They’d learned early on that four limbs for catching meant that the large target that were her wings wasn’t worth the effort of trying to get a shot in… it was so much easier to aim for those who weren’t as adept at catching or evasion.

Sebek shouted in glee as his well placed throw took Kalim in the shoulder, knocking him out of the game to wait to the sidelines. Ace and deuce shouted in frustration, one of their team had fallen to peril! Yoru could see them trying to hatch a plan of revenge but saved them the effort. The ball that had ricocheted off of Kalim bounced upwards into her waiting hands. She held onto it, waiting for an opportune moment to strike. Trey wasn’t a threat, nor was Jade. Jack and Floyd seemed to be the targets to aim for since they had the most power behind their throws which made her team too slow to dodge them for the most part. Sebek would slip up eventually, after every move he made he’d turned to look at Malleus and Lilia who were watching from the bleachers. Floyd had invited both of them to play as well, but they graciously declined the offer, stating that the match would never end with one of them on each side. A well placed ball from Ace took Sebek in the leg as he was basking in the praise of his much loved senpai, Trey fumbled a ball Deuce had thrown at him, and he and Sebek joined Kalim on the sidelines. Seems the first years had a bit more gusto than she expected. Jack puffed up, shocked that two of his team mates would be eliminated so easily and locked his eyes on Ace. Target Acquired. He put everything he had into the throw and the ball shot across the court like a cannonball, firmly planting itself in Ace’s stomach before knocking him over. 

“Help, I’m dying. I’m dying” He whined dramatically, crawling off of the court where he joined a laughing Kalim and a concerned Trey. Sebek had no time to console his fellow first year, he had to look stern and proper for his senpai, Ace should have been more careful. Yoru narrowed her eyes and launched her own attack, Jack with his sight locked on Deuce had completely forgotten about her. The ball made contact with his thigh and careened out of bounds before he realized and could strike back at Deuce. She laughed as her team cheered. Jade and Floyd looked at each other and grinned, was this what they had been waiting for? Perhaps Jade was a threat after all. While Deuce was still cheering a ball took hit the side of his foot and bounced away, his cheering turning to cries of OH NOOOOO as he realized he’d made himself an easy target.

“Fufufufu, Deuce-kun you should make sure to pay attention. You can never tell what’s lurking if your attention is elsewhere” Jade laughed, setting his sights on Epel. “Ahh, Epel-kun. You’ve been quiet this whole game, have you perhaps been paying closer attention than your fellow first years?” he taunted as Floyd laughed and lunged in an attempt to intimidate the smaller boy. To his merit, Epel didn’t flinch. The twins intimidation wasn’t going to work on him, apparently he was much tougher than he looked.

“What’s the plan Yoru?” He said gruffly, without looking at her, keeping his eyes on the twins who were in possession of both of the game's remaining balls.

“Don’t get hit” She smiled. “If you don’t think you can catch something yell and I’ll get it. We can still win this” It was a waiting game, she knew that Jade wasn’t going to throw his ball without a guaranteed hit so they just had to wait for Floyd to get bored of the stalemate and make a wild shot. It came sooner than expected, he’d aimed for Yoru’s outstretched wings, making her raise her eyebrow. This play, again? Did they not learn the first time it wouldn’t work? She easily maneuvered around and caught the ball with her foot, lowering herself to give it to Epel, but as anything was with those two, it was a distraction. Jade had thrown his ball a few seconds after Floyd, aiming for the space she would surely move to after she’d caught the other ball. If not for Epels shout she may have joined the rest of her teammates on the sidelines, but he’d jumped in front of her, throwing the ball she’d given him with surprising accuracy, hitting Jade in the hip as he blocked her from the incoming attack. Jade’s ball bounced off his upper arm, upwards towards the rafters of the gymnasium from where Yoru could catch it.

Now it was one on one. Each of them had a ball, and again the waiting game began, she knew that as the final defender Floyd may last a little longer before he got bored, but she couldn’t let her guard down. She had to avenge Epel and his valiant sacrifice… and the other guys too, she figured. She watched him closely, wishing that there were a few stray birds in the gym she could borrow the vision of so he wouldn’t be able to make a move without her seeing it, but alas. Her only advantage was flight, however with how flexible Floyd was she’d have to make her throw count. If he dodged it he’d have the upper hand. His shoulders drooped, he put his head down and sighed. A small whine of I’m booooorrrreeeeddddddd leaked out from where he was standing, but she’d expected this. She flew forward and hoped that she was right. She was certain Floyd was faking to trick her into a false sense of security. She raised her arm and gripped the ball in her hand as if her life depended on it, swinging her arm back, bringing it forward with a rush. In his haste to win however, Floyd hadn’t noticed she’d never released her ball and threw his at her midsection as she completed the arc with her hand. She folded her wings and immediately dropped to the ground, finally letting loose the ball she still held in her hand. It slammed into his face, knocking him off of his feet, her team cheering as they all ran back onto the court. She could hear Jades quiet laughter and Jack muttering, concerned about the sound that echoed through the gym as the ball made contact with Floyds face, and the fountain of blood that had sprayed out as he fell. 

“Uhhhh… is he dead?” Ace asked, bending down to peer at him. Floyd was staring at the roof, trying to blink the stars out of his eyes and spit the blood out of his mouth.

“Fufufufu Floyd, it seems we underestimated Yoru-san and her team” Jade chuckled, standing over his brother

“Wasn’t...that a bit much though?” Kalim asked curiously from where he stood looking down at Floyd.

Yoru laughed and shook her head “Nah. he deserved that. The book I was reading was just getting good and Floyd spoiled it for me when he dragged me in here. I guess he read it last week”. Floyd rolled his eyes and sat up, blood dripping onto his shirt.

“There wasn’t even anything good to spoil!” he whined, spitting out a mouthful of blood “You could see the main character's death coming from a mile away!” He protested, Yoru glared at him.

“Epel, get me another ball. I don’t think he got the message the first time”

[hplovefat]

Tracked down a classic

The Waist Lines

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

A Fattening Study

This one's inspired by a real-life actual overeating experiment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAQr77QMJiw

However, I changed it up so that the participants had to gain way more weight in a longer period of time.

“First of all I want to thank you all for coming. We realize that we are asking for quite a bit of sacrifice on your part, but we want to ensure you that it’s going towards a great study. When I call your name please take your binder. It will contain nutrition guidelines and general information you need to follow for the next nine months.” Said a slender grad student in a lab coat. He’s trying to calm anyone down with cold feet meanwhile the only thing keeping me in this building is the money. “Get paid to eat” that was the subject line of the email my roommate sent me for the application to be apart of this study. Little did I know that it was a study on obesity and that applicants have to agree to gain weight every month in order to get the paycheck. Not only that but I have to be poked and prodded by doctors checking my overall health. But living in the city is expensive and working as a barista paid jack squat. “Thomas?” The grad student called my name. I walked up to the Doctor McDreamy wannabe and received a binder with my name on it. Inside were some general guidelines on nutrition so participants wouldn’t need a coronary bypass, a credit card with our monthly allowance for groceries, and also some rules for the study. For my body type I needed to eat at least 3000 calories a day, just to start off with! I skipped to the back of the binder and was horrified to see by month eight I wouldn’t be allowed to eat less than 9000 calories a day. “I’m going to have to buy maternity clothes.” I muttered under my breath. A man beside me laughed. He must have heard me. I tried not to blush with embarrassment as his name was being called, “Axl?”

“That’s me.” He lightly replied. Axl was slender, as were all the participants for the study. One of the requirements was to be no higher than 11% body fat if you were a man and no higher than 18% body fat if you were a woman. All twenty participants had the same slender frame, including myself. My beer loving roommate Joey wanted to earn some extra cash doing these crazy experiments, but his gut got him rejected from this one, so of course he sends it to me. I looked down at my flat stomach, “I’m going to get a gut like Joey’s aren’t I?” I thought to myself. It sent a shiver down my spine. Axl comes back with his binder, “Hey, I’m Axl. You look nervous.”

“Oh… maybe a little. I really need the money, but I’ve always watched what I’ve ate, y’know?” I replied.

Axl smiled, “It’s alright. The way I see it, even if they kick you out half way that’s still a lot of money. And how hard can it be to shed a few pounds?”

“So what’s your reason for doing this?” I asked.

“I’m a little short for cash too, but also I just broke up with my gym freak of a boyfriend. I need to let go a little. Despite what he thinks my life shouldn’t revolve around my six pack.”

The grad student gave out the last binder to a tiny woman with the narrowest face I have ever seen. “Alright that’s everyone! Thanks so much again. You’ll notice that your monthly allowance for food is probably higher than you expected, but trust me you will go through it quickly. I hope your appetites are good because your nine month journey starts now.” With that, the participants started leaving the building. Some lifted up their shirts, jokingly saying goodbye to their abs. Do people think this is funny? “I think you need to lighten up.” Axl said to me as we leave the building. “It’s going to be a little disturbing, but it’s just getting fat. Is that really a big deal?”

“I guess not.” I replied, unsure of myself.

“Let’s go grocery shopping together, shake off some of the nerves and I’ll give you a ride home.” Sure beats taking the bus, I thought.

“That actually sounds great. Thank you.”

That afternoon Axl and I got our own grocery carts and filled them to the brim with what we had to eat. Our guidelines suggested chicken breasts and coconut milk, but Axl filled his cart with donuts and pastries. I threw in some butter tarts into my cart too, a secret indulgence of mine, but now I was free to eat the entire box. Axl dropped me off in front of my apartment. My arms weighed down by the bags upon bags of high calorie food I needed to eat that week. I squeezed my way through to the front door, my roommate Joey waiting for me. “So how was your first day man?! You look fatter already.”

“I haven’t started yet you knob.” I laughed, “I have to eat all this by next Monday.” Joey took a glimpse upon the mountain of food I was storing away in our kitchen.

“Aw man, I can’t wait to compare beer guts with you!”

I made tortellini that night with the heaviest cream sauce I could find at the grocery store. I had to eat the entire pot to make my quota for that day. As I shoved the last morsel into my mouth I could see Joey staring at me with the utmost delight. He thought this was hilarious. His skinny roommate Thomas was going to get as fat he was. I put my hand over my bloated stomach and tried not to think too much of it.

One week into the experiment and I could feel a difference. I could not remember what it was like to not be bloated. In order to meet my daily calorie intake, I had to gorge myself with a huge breakfast of pancakes and sausage immediately followed by my shifts at the café. Joey all the while laughing everyday at the feasts I have to prepare for myself as he sits on the couch drinking beer. I know for a fact he’s sneaking into my groceries, picking out bacon and pastries for himself. After my shift at work I went down to the grocery store to restock. “Hi there stranger.” It was Axl. “Need to stock up again eh?”

“I do. I didn’t think it was possible, but I ate everything in my cart last week.” I looked up at Axl. His face was fuller. You could even see button down shirt straining on his build. “Wow you’re really taking this seriously, you’ve filled out a little since I last saw you.”

“Ha!” He replied, “Believe me it wasn’t easy. Listen, you don’t have to stock up at the grocery store every week, there’s more than enough money in our allowance to eat out.”

“Is it allowed?”

“Of course silly! Me and a few other participants from the study are getting pizza and beer tonight, you should join us. Getting down those last few bites is a lot easier with help.”

“That sounds amazing, I could really use a break from my roommate.”

That night I met Axl and few of the other participants at a bar downtown. Everyone seemed to have a story about their first week. One guy named Andrew said he ate so much the first day he puked. Another girl named Jessie was doing this to get back at her ex who said she wasn’t curvy enough. It seemed the one thing in common with everyone is that they were enjoying this gluttonous time. The beer felt bottomless and it felt like our group ordered one of everything off the menu. I scarfed down as much pizza as I could, but I was bloated beyond belief from the beer. Axl and Andrew looked at me and then looked at my final slice. They immediately ran over to me. Andrew held my bloated stomach and Axl lifted the pizza off the plate. “C’mon you can do it.” yelled Axl. “We believe in you!” joked Andrew. It might have been the fact I was piss drunk, but I was excited for this help. I slowly but surely swallowed bite by bite of the pizza Axl fed me as the rest of the group cheered on. After the last bite there was a loud “huzzah” from the group and I rest my hands on my stomach. My face was red and sweaty from the endeavor. I just ate an entire large pizza by myself. “Thomas just doubled his quota today everybody!” screamed a drunken Jessie. Another loud “huzzah” came from our group. Double? I thought. If I keep to my quota I should already be gaining quite of bit of weight. I unbuttoned my jeans and looked forward to the next month.

A month goes by and I meet up with the rest of the group at the research building to get our monthly checkup. Joey insisted he come with me to my first weigh in. Axl finally got to meet him today after a month of me ranting about my drunken roommate. I change into skintight boxer-briefs for the weigh in and body fat test. I walk into the room and Joey’s face lights up with a horrible grin. “What?” I ask.

“Dude look at that!” he points to my stomach. It had been protruding more and more over the past month, but I didn’t think it was that bad. I started to pat my newfound gut, shaking it up and down. “As least it’s not as big as yours.” I lifted up Joey’s shirt his furry beer belly flopped down over the waist of his jeans. “You’ve been stealing my food haven’t you? You’ve definitely gotten chubbier too.” Axl then walks in, just finished with his checkup. “Are we comparing bellies?” Axl lifted up the front his shirt revealing a soft paunch. The outlines of a six pack were faded and his pecs were softer too. “I gained 21 pounds this month. Doctor says that’s the highest of all the participants so far.”

“My god!” I exclaimed. “Is that normal?”

“The first month is supposed to be a little extreme. And it looks like you’re not far behind me buddy.” Axl patted the top of my belly and watched it jiggle. The doctor walked and Axl, Joey and I pull down our shirts. “Alright Thomas, first thing I’m going to do is weigh you. You’re friends can stay as long as you don’t mind the company.”

“No way I’m missing this.” Replied Joey. The doctor and I both look at him. “They can stay. I don’t mind.”

I hopped on the scale and I could sense the doctor observing my paunch and my ass for signs of weight distribution. “At the beginning of the experiment you were 160 pounds, today you are… 179. Very interesting.” Joey and Axl burst out laughing. “I’ve gained almost twenty pounds? In a month…” I responded. “Yes.” The doctor replied, “You and another young lad are tied for second for rapid weight gain.”

“Number one being me.” Axl boasted patting his stomach.

“You realize that you will have to increase your daily calorie intake…” The doctor exclaimed as he began to measure my waist, “both of you.” Pointing to me and Axl. “As for you.” Looking at Joey, “You should consider switching to light beer.”

The three of us walked to the lobby to pick up our paychecks. Joey left leaving Axl and I waiting in line with the other participants who had just gotten out of their examinations. “My boobs have gotten so big.” One girl exclaimed. “I can’t even button my slacks.” Said another guy. I picked up my check and I’m immediately bombarded with invites to go out and eat. I couldn’t resist the company of these people and Axl was buying.

For my second examination, I had to schedule the day after everyone else’s due to a work emergency. I didn’t get to see Axl or the rest of the expanding gang. This month I was forced to eat no less than 4000 calories a day. Apparently I had no trouble because I managed to get up to 193 pounds. I had gained over 30 pounds since the experiment started and I wasn’t even halfway done. A portion of this month’s paycheck had to go into buying new clothes. None of my pants could button and the black polo I wore to work was riding up. If I wasn’t wearing an apron people would see the underside of my gut. When it comes to any humiliating aspect of this process, naturally Joey wants to come along. Joey took the doctor’s advice to heart this month. He switched to light beer. He’s just as drunk, but not getting any fatter. Good for Joey… I guess. I squeezed my ass into a pair of 34’s lifting up my paunch in order to get better a view of the button. Joey waited outside the changing room with his devilish smirk, holding my bags of medium to large shirts and enjoying himself a little too much. “Did you say those are 34’s?” asked Joey.

“Yeah.” I replied, “But there a little snug, I think I’ll go up a size, maybe some room to grow.”

“That’s kinda funny.” Joey smirked, “Because 34’s are what I wear buddy. You’re just as big as me!”

“There’s no way.” I replied.

“Wanna bet?” Joey pulled me to the change room mirror. He lifted up his shirt and gestured for me to lift up mine. Low and behold, my gut was almost as big as Joey’s beer belly. His was remarkably more furry, but the size was undeniably close. “You’re still a little bigger.” I exclaimed.

“Yeah maybe, but you’re catching up pretty quick tubby.” He replied patting my gut.

After I got home, I quickly changed into my comfortable size clothes and headed to the grocery store. I found it harder and harder to follow the nutrition plan while still consuming enough calories. I had to resort to donuts and bacon and other super fatty, sugary goods on top of the chicken breasts and potatoes just to make the quota. I pushed my overloaded cart to the checkout aisle when a familiar face walked up to me. “Hey man I haven’t seen you in a couple weeks.” Axl was behind me with his cart. He gut protruded a little more, but he didn’t look much bigger. “How was your checkup? Any big changes?” I asked.

“I only gained 11 pounds this month. I had a little bit of a cold. Slowed down my eating. But look at you, you’ve got a proper gut there!”

I could feel myself blushing, “Yeah I know. I had to buy new clothes today.”

“Oh my god. I need to get some new jeans stat.” Axl lifted the front part of his shirt to reveal that his jeans were only done up to the second button. The rest strained to support his belly. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Listen, you should come by my place. I’ll cook dinner and we can catch up.”

I took up on Axl’s offer and went over to his apartment for what I imagine to be a feast of a dinner. The second I walked in the door he threw me a beer. Axl laid out a platter of meat and cheese and told me to dive in while he was cooking the pasta. I stuffed myself with almost every bite of the fettuccini. “I feel like I’m going to burst. I can’t possibly eat anymore.” I exclaimed. Axl, put down his fork finishing off his meal. Axl’s pants had become completely unbuttoned during the meal to make room for his bloated stomach. “C’mon, we’re almost at our quota. Here, let me help you.” Axl hoisted himself out of his seat and waddled towards me. He bent down and unbuttoned my new jeans. “There. Now you have some room.” I felt the zipper sliding down from the pressure of my bloated gut. Axl then grabbed the last forkful of pasta and lifted it up to my mouth. With a great amount of strength I swallowed the last morsel and sighed with relief. Axl and I sat on his couch watching TV burping and letting the meal settle. I headed home around midnight that night. When I got through the front door I turned on the light and to my surprise Joey was sitting on the couch. “Oh hey.” He says with a muffled tone, “I thought you were spending the night at Axl’s.” Joey was shirtless his mouth, chest, and beer gut covered in crumbs and smears of chocolate. “You’re eating my food? Joey, the reason I bought this stuff is because it’s all super high in calories in fat. I need it for my diet.”

“I dunno. It seems like you’re doing pretty well without it.” He responded pointing and my unbuttoned jeans.

“Yes. Axl stuffed me with pasta tonight. Now move over.” I collapsed on the couch beside Joey, my medium black t-shirt riding up over my navel. I took an éclair out of the box and started scarfing it down. “I thought you said you were stuffed?” asked Joey. “I said I was stuffed… about an hour ago. I’m hungry all the time now.” Joey looked at his gut and than looked at mine. For the first time since the experiment started, Joey’s smirk faded away. “Dang dude. You’re… you’re going to get fat.”

“I know.” I swallowed the last bite of the éclair and immediately grabbed another from the box, “believe me dude I know.”

Third month’s examination was more intense than the first two. Blood tests and fitness tests were included. I had to wear track shorts and an under armor shirt I hadn’t worn since the experiment began. I wheezed running on the treadmill as the doctor waited eagerly to check my vitals. He could not stop staring at my belly, which hung on my waist, the underside exposed by the tight shirt. After being poked and prodded I was given a towel and was told I could wait in the lobby for my paycheck. Joey was waiting outside wearing the same sweatpants for the past week. A lot of his pants barely close ever since I started letting him eat from my groceries. He handed me a hoodie to cover up my protruding belly, but it gets swiped away from Axl who just got out of his physical. “Hold on there buddy don’t cover up just yet, I haven’t got a chance to look at you yet!” Axl pushed my shirt up towards my softening pecs to expose my gut fully. He cupped the bottom and started chuckling. “Great process buddy! Where are you at now?”

“I broke 200. Doc says I’m overweight now.” I replied.

“Ha! I broke 200 last month, but good for you it means you’re still qualified for the money! A couple girls and one guy dropped out. Couldn’t handle embracing the lack of vanity I guess.” All the participants were getting just as fat as I was. Girls’ breasts and hips were bulging out of their sides, stomachs protruding out of their shirts, while the guys’ paunches were turning into solid beer guts. “Just gotta keep thinking about that paycheck I guess.” I exclaimed.

“Yeah the money’s great, but I’m loving this.” Axl lifted his sweatshirt to reveal his belly, pushing it out to emphasize its roundness. It hung over his the waistband of his tight sweatpants. This month I spent a lot of time with Axl. I would go over to his place for meals or he would come visit mine. We go out to eat with the other participants or sometimes just with each other. No matter what, however, Axl would always end up feeding me after I felt like I was going to pop. I never had to do the same for him. Axl had a ferocious appetite and it was rubbing off on me.

Two months later into the experiment and even though I had to buy bigger clothes again, I was really enjoying my time with Axl. My weight gain had steadied putting me at around 215 pounds at my last examination. Axl who was a couple inches taller than me weighed in at 234 pounds. No matter how many times we compared guts his was always bigger. It felt like I was never going to catch up. Joey and I got to the examination early. It was evident that we both had gotten noticeably bigger as we squeezed through the turnstile doors. I changed into my boxer briefs and waited for the doctor to arrive. I sat in the chair and let my belly sit on my lap. Joey sat across from me, eyes glaring. “See something you like?” I asked.

“Dude, you’re really fat now. Like… it’s not even the gut anymore. Your face is rounder and by God your thighs are getting enormous. I think you’re bigger than me now.”

“Joey, I let you eat my food. You must have gained 20 pounds since I started.” I got up and felt my gut shake. I pointed to my protruding belly. “This is a desperate attempt to get some cash. This however…” I lifted up Joey’s shirt. “This is from being a total pig.”

“Vent all you want dude.” Joey replied pulling his shirt down over his furry beer gut, “That’s not going to change the fact that we are the same height, but I weigh only 215 pounds when you clearly weight more than that.” The doctor walked in with his morning coffee. “Hello Thomas. You’re making quite some progress. It’s not a race you know.” I looked down and my swollen pudge hanging over the waistband of my boxerbriefs and laughed uncomfortably. Joey smirked as I got on the scale. “229 pounds.” Said the doctor. “Told ya you were bigger than me.” Joey exclaimed. I had gained almost 70 pounds since this experiment had started. I changed into my sweat pants and a large hoodie and was about to leave when Axl popped his head into the doctor’s office door, “Hey! Sorry are you done, I was little late to my physical today.” I smiled and nodded as I let Axl into the room.

“You can stay if you like.” Axl said as he started stripping into his underwear. “I’m not shy.” Axl stood in the doctor’s office with nothing but skin-tight boxer briefs. He must’ve had them when the experiment started because they barely covered his ass.. The doctor gestured him to hop on the scale. “230 pounds.” Everyone’s expression dropped. “I lost weight?” Axl asked.

“It appears so.” The Doctor replied, “Have you been consuming enough calories?”

“And then some.” Axl responded, “Just ask Thomas.”

“Believe me he’s been eating just as much as me.” I replied.

“This happens a lot, especially with young men. Your metabolism has kicked into overdrive and it makes it harder to put on weight. Unfortunately, this is an overeating and obesity experiment and it requires all participants to gain a steady amount of weight for nine months. If you plateau we’ll have to ask you to leave.”

“C’mon doc!”  I exclaimed. “Look at him. Feel the size of his gut, look how big his ass has gotten and his second chin is coming in. He’s gained a ton of weight and now you’re kicking him out ‘cause he had bad month?”

“Axl has been on our watch for the most rapid body fat percentage increase… If he gains weight this month… we can keep him in the experiment.” Axl and I sighed with relief. There’s no way I could continue on without my encourager. “Thanks buddy.” said Axl as he put his jeans and t-shirt on. “Don’t mention it. And don’t worry we’re going to help each other. I going to get you busting out of those jeans before this month is over.” That night Axl came over to my apartment. We ordered a mountain of thai food and then I stuffed him full of donuts that I swiped out of Joey’s hands. There was one more donut left. “Thanks Thomas, but I couldn’t possibly eat another bite.”

I bent down and unbuttoned Axl’s jeans and watched the force of his swollen gut push down the fly. “There. Now you have more room.” We both smiled as I lifted the last donut to his mouth. That night Joey, Axl and I passed out on my futon.

A month of almost daily encouragement later, I took Axl out for a large, heavy breakfast before our weigh in, just to be safe. The diner beside the research building had great pancakes and waffles. We ate like pigs, but I made a special effort to stuff Axl. The button on his jeans haven’t been able to close for the past week, as I had promised. As we were about to leave we bumped into Andrew and Jessie, “Hey guys! We haven’t seen you in a while. You got… big” They said as they were getting up from their table. They both had gotten noticeably fatter, Jessie with her wide hips and double chin and Andrew with his ball belly, but it was true, no one could compare to Axl and I. We walked into the research building together. Joey was waiting on bench outside the doctor’s office. “Where were you guys? I’ve been waiting.”

“Sorry Joey, we got breakfast for one final stuffing session.” I replied.

“And you didn’t invite me?” He asked.

“I don’t think you need any more big breakfasts pal.” I poked Joey’s beer belly that was pushing out of his extra large plaid shirt. “You’re not even getting paid.” Joey sucked in his gut the best he could and tried to adjust his shirt out of embarrassment. Andrew, Jessie, Axl, and I decided we would do our weigh ins together this time. Even Joey wanted in on the action. We walked into the doctor’s office and stripped. A big “woof” came from everyone when I took of my shirt. I did a quick truffle shuffle, my newest and now most common party trick. The doctor walked in slightly shocked by the small group of half naked fat people in his office. Axl was the first to get up on the scale. Everyone gave his gut a slap for good luck. “248 pounds.” Said the doctor. Axl cheered and immediately gave me a hug. I our bellies pressed together and I could feel my breakfast coming up so I pushed him aside so we could get to my turn. “251 pounds.” Said the doctor. For the first time in six months I was heavier than Axl..Joey walked over to me like a proud father. “Look at that monster! I remember when this one freaked out when we had the same size jeans. Now look.” He shoved his gut up against mine. Mine was definitely larger and I got love handles and a bigger ass to boot. After everyone was done getting examined – Joey weighed in at 230 pounds – I changed into my jeans. They were a stretched out size 38. I squeezed the button close and let my belly flop over the waist. I looked at myself in the mirror. I grabbed my gut and shook it up and down. I was able to lift the entire thing with my hands. I turned to look at my love handles that had become more prominent as well as my beefier thighs and ass. Axl stepped beside me and started to do similar things. “Yep, They’re real.” He joked. He gave my gut a good slap and left the doctor’s office. I put my sweater on and looked at myself in the mirror again. When I pictured myself fat and I imagined something more horrifying than what I saw in front of me. I thought it was going to be gross, but I liked my larger frame. I like how soft my man boobs felt, I liked the way my gut protruded out of everything I owned. I walked into the lobby letting my gut relax, showing off what I had accomplished in the past 6 months. I was surprised to see a mountain of pizza boxes. The researchers decided to give us a little extra thanks this month. For the next two hours I watched 15 overfed, overstuffed participants pig out on pizza. I was forced to unbutton my jeans and have everyone come up to me asking if they could feel my gut.

The final three months of the experiment were not easy. Axl and I had to eat up to 10,000 calories a day. Luckily we had each other to help. Joey grew out a scraggly beard, went back to regular beer and took up the same eating habits I had. He was constantly trying to best Axl in eating contests, but would always lose. The pigging out really impacted is waistline. Joey was fatter than ever and he didn’t even get paid for it. For the final examination the participants were encouraged to wear the clothes they wore on the first day. I waddled into the building jeans unbuttoned and below my ass. The shirt I wore on my first day barely covered my navel and would roll up underneath my supple man boobs. Joey was behind me wearing track pants and a t-shirt that barely covered his huge, furry gut. “Let me take a look you… one last time.” He told me.

“I’m not going to be able to lose the weight over night Joey. You’re going to be seeing this for quite a while.” Joey grabbed my gut and started rubbing it.

“I know dude, but I just feels like yesterday that this monster was just a little guy and now look at it!”

I lifted Joey’s shirt. “Yours isn’t bad either pal.” Joey looked down and started lifting his beer belly up and down, feeling the weight. Axl then walked in wearing the same jeans that were not completely unbuttoned and rided below his ass. He also wore a button down shirt that only buttoned in the middle exposing his massive gut. All the participants wore similar things, exposing all the places they gained weight. It was clear everyone was obese as the experiment entailed. Axl came up to me, gave me a kiss, and immediately started lifting my gut up and down. “You’re looking good Thomas. Still nervous?”

“Nah. You look good too buddy.”

“Hey lover boys!” yelled Joey from the doctor’s office. “Research guy is waiting for ya.” I hopped on the scale. While I waited for the numbers to adjust I noticed the grad student who handed me my binder on the first day was weighing me. His face was fuller though and he had a small gut protruding out of his button down shirt. “Gained a little weight too eh?” I asked jokingly.

“Yeah, a little. You folks have been rubbing off on me.” The numbers finally stopped.

“Thomas your final weight is, 304 pounds.”

“I broke 300?!”

“First one today. You proud of yourself?” The grad student asked.

I smiled and hopped off the scale. After some more tests I found out I had tripled my body fat percentage as well. I looked at myself in the mirror as I pulled up my impossibly tight jeans. I had become a genuine fat ass. It was Axl’s turn to get on the scale.”Axl your final weight is 315 pounds.”

“I put on 150 pounds?”

“Yep. Heaviest so far.” Exclaimed the grad student.

Axl started to chuckle, his belly shaking simultaneously. Afterwards everyone moved into the lobby for a few photos. Everyone was laughing and comparing bellies. The grad student got up and started to make a speech. “I want to thank everyone here again. I’m so glad you were able to treat this entire process with a great sense of humor. And to show my support I will confess that I’ve gained 20 pounds as well.” The grad student lifted his shirt to show off his paunch and the entire group cheered. He pulled down his shirt and continued to speak. “I also have some good news for anyone who is interested. I know some of you are eager to hit the gym and to shed these extra pounds, but the lab is offering an extended research participant contract to anyone in this study who is obese, which luckily is all of you.” Everyone looked at each other puzzled. “You would continue to get paid and all you would have to do is maintain or gain weight for the next year. Any takers?” Axl’s hand shot straight up. Mine quickly followed.

[dopescotlandwarrior]

Sinners & Saints

A special thanks to @statell​ for all your help

Previous Chapters at AO3

Chapter Four

“Hmm, I’m sorry sir, this is a fake. I know that’s hard to hear. I will speak to the police if you want to make a report.”

“You bloody well look again. That vase is Ming so that means you are an idiot.”

Jamie walked to the appraisal room at Christie’s where Claire was working today. His fists balled up listening to the man yell at the Sassenach.

“I assure you it’s a fake sir and I’ve decided not to help you with a report, you can go.”

“If you move one step, I will stop you until you prove why it’s a fake.”

“Oh for Christ’s sake, fine.”

Claire picked up the vase and threw it against the wall making the man gasp, red-faced, while Claire pushed past him and picked up a shard. Jamie’s eyebrows went up and he tried not to laugh, completely spellbound by her.

“The only true test of a Ming is the blue color of the clay after it’s fired. See, this is white. Oh all right you big baby, I’ll pay for it, I’m sure I have a dollar bill in my purse.”

The man screamed like a banshee and lunged for her, feeling his feet leave the ground, his face changed to shock as he reached behind him trying to open the hand that held him. Jamie shook his head when the man started yelling for help. He dragged the man to the door and whispered in his ear.

“Get near the lady again and I’ll rip your throat out, okay?”

The man bolted out the door and spun around to look at Jamie who smiled and thanked him for coming before closing the door. There were only two more people waiting for Claire to appraise their art and both looked nervous, clutching their prized paintings and looking at the shattered mess on the floor. One lady left, and the other was thrilled she had an authenticated treasure. Claire was a popular appraiser and seemed to know exactly where to find proof of her valuation. She would spin her laptop and there it was, selling price and picture of a comparable piece from the same artist.

Christie’s was very good at locking the doors at six o’clock, even when people pounded to get in. The room was suddenly empty except for Jamie and Claire. He helped her pack up and though she seemed normal in every way he could feel a disturbance in her energy.

“Sassenach, we have been up late every night this week. If you’re as tired as I am, maybe you should rest tonight and not be pestered by me.”

“Did you just suggest room service and a movie before early shut-eye? If so, then I accept!”

Jamie smiled and exhaled gratefully. It would have been a supreme sacrifice to lose a night with the Sassenach and he loved her suggestion.

“It’s our last night together, so we can celebrate the holiday a day early in our pajamas okay?”

Jamie’s palm itched as he thought about running his hand up the satin nightgown. He would miss her when they both went home and he wondered what promises they would make, if any.

“Javier has invited you to dinner tomorrow night. He throws a lavish party on Christmas eve at his restaurant and wants to meet you. What do you say?” She wrapped her arms around his middle for a hug.

“Of course, it would be my honor.”

Claire laughed seeing Jamie load his arms up with all her belongings, “you are super hot and so darn useful Jamie.”

That made him laugh but truth be told, like it or not, he was living for her next statement of endearment, whatever that might be. He just wanted to matter to her because that was the first step in building something that would change their lives. As long as there was a chance he might catch Casper, there was a chance at a life with the Sassenach.

“Jamie, I want to hire you to show me some exercises to build up my upper body strength, what do you say? There’s a gym at the hotel and I am worried because I can barely do three pull-ups anymore.”

“It would be a pleasure to assist you Sassenach,” he smiled realizing they would have the entire day tomorrow. No work for either of them, but such a strange request from one so fair.

When Jamie knocked later that evening, Claire felt the now familiar butterflies take flight in her stomach. She was convinced he had no idea she was Casper so she could just be herself, a professor with a crush on a cop. She asked several questions over the last few days about which agency he worked for but he was vague with the answers, saying the task force he led was a multi-agency effort. She didn’t want to pry and assumed his partial answers were a testament to an underlying boredom or unhappiness with the job. She might overthink her way right out of these hot nights with him, so she stopped analyzing him and just looked forward to the next time his hungry eyes devoured her.

Jamie had shamelessly taken possession of her body and mind every night this week and tried to calm himself down as he walked to her door. Even if he needed handcuffs it was the Sassenach’s turn at seduction and he just had to wait. He groaned inwardly trying to think of anything except her long legs, tiny waist, long hair, perky breasts, and her sweet kisses. He felt defeated already.

After a delicious meal brought by room service, Claire curled up in Jamie’s arms for a new movie they both enjoyed. Halfway through Claire turned toward him and unbuttoned his shirt pushing it off his shoulders. She moved her hand down the arm that was wrapped around her waist and tried to concentrate on the movie. She twisted to face him ten minutes later and kissed his neck and chest, pulling his face to hers she kissed him deeply and touched him everywhere.

The movie ended and Claire got up to lite the candles and hand Jamie another beer. She pulled him to the side of the bed and straddled his lap, kissing him slowly and then sinking to the floor. Jamie was fascinated with her moves, feeling like she was trying them for the first time, but that was ridiculous.

Getting his jeans off seemed to take an eternity while Jamie studied her. Keeping his hands to himself allowed him to experience Claire’s world and it was so different he was astounded. When she put him in her mouth, he could see this act pushed her arousal and she lost herself until Jamie pulled her away. Her mouth was open and eyes half-closed when he pulled her face to him for a deep kiss. I promise to try again to let you lead Sassenach, but I’m taking over, he thought.

Later, in the dark, Jamie ran his fingers through her hair and marveled at the mystery of Claire Beauchamp.

“Sassenach, how does one so tender throw a vase against the wall in front of the owner?”

“It really got his attention,” she giggled in her sleepiness. “He’s an opportunist that got hustled is what he is. I have no respect for people like that. He knew nothing of its providence or even which dynasty and had the audacity to challenge my authority on the subject. He deserved it.”

Jamie cataloged her answer in his brain and smiled to himself when she asked him to come closer. He wrapped her up in his arms and listened to the human equivalent of purring. A low soft moan that came from a happy place deep within her. He slept and dreamed of Lallybroch feeling her shift position through the night and reach for him. His sweet Sassenach.

Jamie was up and dressed early to conclude some new hire business. He gently pushed the hair out of Claire’s face, and she smiled trying to pull him in for a hug. He kissed her cheeks and whispered he would meet her in the hotel gym at noon and then left her to her dreams.

The morning blew past as Claire wrote reports, made phone calls, and returned email. She was feeling happy like sparklers were going off inside of her. It was Christmas eve, a holy holiday, and Jamie would be with her to celebrate tonight. She bounced into the hotel gym and saw Jamie sitting on a bench, red-faced and sweating. A long bar was racked behind him with three large weights at both ends. Impressive, she thought, as she walked to him. He carefully kissed her cheek trying to avoid sweating all over her.

“Ah, my Sassenach, what is your goal with this workout?”

“I want to do at least five pull-ups, underhanded and over-handed, without effort please.”

Jamie walked around her and listed the muscle groups she needed to work, touching each while he circled her.

“You need specific strength building for biceps, triceps, pectorals, deltoids, trapezius, Rhomboideus major, and teres major. Are you joining the circus Sassenach?”

“Certainly not, but I carry heavy canvases that are getting more difficult to manage and it’s required to be a decent cat burglar.” She gave her best ‘I am a professor smile’ and giggled.

“Uncle” was muttered after an hour and she clung to Jamie. He walked her back to her room and gently massaged her tired muscles. He could feel them shaking under the skin and hoped he hadn’t pushed her too hard.

“You need to soak in a tub of hot water mo chridhe. I will watch the game and guard you. Okay?”

Jamie was asleep when she got out of the tub. He looked like a handsome angel, so serene in his rest. He was relaxed, unguarded, and he looked ten years younger. Something about Jamie made her feel hopeful and happy for some reason. She tried to imagine going back to Chicago, getting Frank out of her life, starting another semester, and the big decision about stealing art. That was the reality of her life, and this week was a sweet tryst with an incredible man, and that was all.

“Sassenach, come lass.”

He held his hand out to her and pulled her to him so he could make her forget whatever made her look so sad.

In late afternoon, Claire straightened her hair and lined her eyes putting two coats of mascara on her lashes, powder on her cheeks that shimmered, and red lipstick. She wore a silver sparkling wrap-around dress and thigh-high boots that stopped an inch from the hem. When she opened the door for Jamie, she was shocked. He wore a dark blue suit, white shirt and a paisley blue tie. He looked scrubbed with his hair slicked back. His eyes looked like blue diamonds.

“Wow, you clean up nicely,” she said wrapping her arms around him.

He had a gorgeous bottle of Italian Merlot in a gift box for Javier and Claire was very impressed. Rubbing her lipstick on a tissue she reached for him and kissed until his toes curled. He looked closely at her face and hair and she knew he loved the way she looked. What a fine way to start the evening, she thought.

Javier opened the door to greet them and was quite happy about the snow falling outside. He shook Jamie’s hand with a warm smile and kissed Claire’s cheeks. They were brought into the dining room of the restaurant where a huge table was set with finery. Javier made the introductions and Jamie sat down next to the host while Claire made her way around the table, hugging and kissing the people in Javier’s inner circle. When she came back to Jamie he was in a lively conversation with Javier and another man about the European football leagues. The men were laughing and Javier told the other man in French, “this kid knows his football.” Jamie thanked him in French making them all laugh.

Course after course was placed in front of Claire. Soup, salad, a sumptuous duck and roasted vegetables, followed by coffee, and a delightful chocolate mousse with fresh whipped cream. Claire would take two or three bites of each in order to finish the meal. Jamie ate every bite with a smile on his face and Javier almost cried. She watched Jamie engage any conversation that was offered, with the appropriate grace, humor, or sympathy. She was so grateful he came. When he was bantering with another guest, Claire watched is face until he turned his head and smiled at her. She could feel the blush spread across her cheeks as she quickly looked away. Two old women snickered to each other and talked behind their napkins.

Jamie shook hands with Javier who handed him a business card and asked him to call when he was in town. The blush on Jamie’s cheeks showed how much he appreciated the gesture. They piled into the back of the Rolls Royce and Joseph took them back to the hotel. He watched them kissing and was happy they were going to separate ends of the earth tomorrow. He could see no good coming from this relationship.

Joseph hugged Claire and when she turned around his smile disappeared and the look he gave Jamie made his blood run cold. The older man got behind the wheel and drove away without a backward glance. Jamie wasn’t sure what to make of that but he looked up and saw his pretty girl beckoning him out of the snow.

“Merry Christmas Jamie.”

“Merry Christmas Sassenach. Come here.”

At three in the morning, Claire’s cell phone started ringing and didn’t stop. Jamie whispered that her phone was ringing and it could be an emergency of some kind. Claire sat up and grabbed her phone, suddenly afraid that something bad had happened.

“Hello!”

“Claire darling you come home tomorrow right? Yes, well I am making sure because it’s Christmas and you have been gone.”

“Frank why are you calling me in the middle of the night you scared the shit out of me!”

“If I wasn’t so drunk I would think you were yelling at me. That’s ridiculous because I’m a fuckin Senator and you are a measly teacher. Now listen Claire, this is your last trip to wherever, from now on you are here or at the school. Got that?”

Frank was so drunk she could hardly understand him, and she was getting mad. “Now tell me how to unlock your computer.”

“Why are you in my house, Frank?”

“Why not.”

She heard a loud bang, the sound of glass breaking, and Frank in the background yelling profanities.

“You fucking computer!”

Claire clicked off and ran to her laptop to look up the police precinct closest to her. She gave a report that her ex-boyfriend broke into her apartment and was destroying everything. She explained she was in Paris and told them his name.

“His name is Frank Randall.”

“Is it spelled like the Senator Frank Randall?”

“It is Senator Frank Randall.”

The cop who was taking the report smiled to himself. Senator Randall had voted to defund the Chicago police and they hated him for being a ball-less politician parrot. He wouldn’t enjoy his time with them tonight.

Claire was fuming and slipped her nightgown over her head, filling a glass with bottled water.

“What can I do to help Claire?”

“Nothing Jamie, I’m fine, I’m just going to wait for the police to call. Go back to sleep.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, honestly, it’s taken care of. A rather unpleasant episode with my soon to be ex.”

Jamie could not believe she was shutting him out of this incident with Frank like he didn’t matter and had no business in her real world. He was being respectful when he didn’t ask her about after they leave Paris or maybe he just didn’t want to know.

“Claire, were you going to call me when you go back to Chicago?”

“What?”

He could see it in her eyes, confusion about a question that seemed so simple to him. She never planned to see him again, or even call. He was nothing to her. He dressed quickly and left her room. He couldn’t think of anything to say to her so he said nothing. He went to his room and changed into jeans for a long walk through the city while he worked this out in his head.

Claire couldn’t stop crying as she watched him out her window. He walked away hunched into his coat against the cold. She sobbed, realizing she had lost herself in the arms and charm of Jamie Fraser. She never told him she would call, she never said she had feelings for him. She would never forget his face as he figured out what this week was to her. She laid on his pillow with his wonderful smell and cried herself to sleep.

In the morning, Claire called Jamie’s room, and looked for him in the dining room and gym. She asked at the front desk and was told he checked out. It felt like an emotional bomb going off inside her and she struggled to get to her room before falling apart. She looked at his name in her contacts and wrote him a text about how sorry she was, then deleted it. She was dreadfully sorry she hurt him but knew all along they would go separate ways. She didn’t think it would feel so bad.

Claire boarded her plane with puffy red eyes and a pounding headache. About every ten minutes she felt the tears start again and finally ordered whisky so she could sleep. Her life stretched out before her and never seemed so bleak. Jamie Fraser showed her a fresh new day where anything was possible, and he held her like a precious treasure. Now she was going back to her life in a dirty, crime-ridden city, with a drunk Frank telling her what to do, and she could not find a ray of light in all that. She raised her hand for another whisky.

Claire walked toward the baggage claim and could hardly put one foot in front of the other. Geillis hugged her gushing questions about Paris and going on about her new man. The doorman at her building helped carry her suitcases to the elevator asking if she needed help to her apartment. She tipped him and said she would be fine. Her key slid into her door lock and she bent to take the first case inside. A large fist came out of nowhere and cold-cocked her. The assailant left her on the floor with her door open and suitcases in the hall. She was unconscious.

Jamie walked through Paris for hours, but the decorations and lights were not noticed this time. His brain crunched the facts that were heartily ignored for the last four days realizing he believed what he wanted. She was an enigma with an enchanting personality that drew him to her, she was mysterious because she shared little about who she was inside. He didn’t believe she wanted to hurt him, but it hurt nonetheless.

Jamie flew back to Scotland pounding whisky and sleeping to avoid thinking about the Sassenach. He retrieved his car and drove the country roads to Lallybroch, feeling better with each passing minute. He would hurt and miss her, but he truly hoped to forget her in time.

Claire’s face was swelling badly when the paramedics arrived, she was asking for Jamie, completely disoriented. When she saw only strangers around her, she started to cry like her soul was dying. The EMT’s brought her suitcases into the apartment and tested her for a concussion, asking her to come to the hospital but she refused. When they left, she turned in a circle and saw destruction everywhere. The glass-top computer desk was shattered on the floor, cables yanked out, monitor smashed, furniture was in pieces, and the kitchen floor was inches deep with shattered glass, crystal, and dishes.

Two officers were lifting prints in the bedroom and walked out to see a young woman looking as shattered as the apartment. They knew this was done by someone she knew, this was personal and laced with violent hatred. Both were afraid for her and asked where they could take her for the night.

Claire looked up at the officers taking a moment to understand the question. She shook her head and opened the door for them. Other than have a cruiser drive by her building during the night, there was little they could do without her cooperation. They left reluctantly, both fearing he would come again, this time for her life.

Claire recognized she was in shock. All she could see was Jamie’s face, at dinner when he smiled at her, sleepy and hugging her, laughing at her banter, and crumbling from the truth. If there was whisky and a remaining chair she would have stayed right there, but there wasn’t. She took her suitcase and left to stay in a hotel where she sat in the darkness staring at nothing until Paris woke up.

Javier listened to his goddaughter cry and explain being knocked out and the destruction of everything she owned, even her clothes had a knife taken to them. Javier took the call in his office and accepted a glass of water and a baby aspirin from Joseph who recognized a dangerous tone of voice in his employer, and lifelong friend. Joseph closed his door so Javier would not be disturbed and took a position nearby to stop anyone from knocking. Javier called his name, and Joseph, not liking where the dominoes were falling, prepared for the worst.

“The bear is in trouble, he’s going to kill her!” Javier ranted the story out as Joseph felt the magma rising in his soul. They knew she might go to jail someday until they could get her out, but being struck and terrorized by that perverted piece of shit had Joseph on the edge of reason. Javier was packing up his briefcase and told Joseph to get packed, they were going to Chicago.

Claire clicked off her phone and sat still. She had not stood up since coming to this room in the middle of the night. She dialed Frank.

“Hello darling, Merry Christmas! What time will you be ready for dinner?”

“Come anytime, Frank.” She disconnected.

She had not intended to confront him, but he would have to start pretending, shock, concern, anger, protectiveness, all the emotions a real fiancé would have when he stumbles into her wrecked apartment. She expected her phone to start ringing in about twenty minutes.

“Hello Frank, did you get a good look at the mess you made last night. Shut your mouth or I will..” He kept sputtering a string of words and talking louder. She clicked off and waited. This happened three more times before he remained quiet on the phone so she could talk.

“If you want to stay alive to pursue whatever it is you’re pursuing you only have one rule, never speak to me or see me again for as long as you live. Even if you see me by accident…bye-bye baby. I’m not the meek teacher you think I am, and you have fucked with the wrong person. Don’t believe me? Try it Frank, and I’ll be more than happy to order your life extinguished.”

Claire felt some weird kind of closure with that and stumbled to the bed where she passed out from exhaustion. She dreamed of Jamie whispering in her ear and felt the happiness bubble up inside her. The ringing of her cell phone pulled her out of sleep. She didn’t know where she was or how long she slept and Javier’s worried voice on the phone was asking where she was. Her face hurt so badly she couldn’t remember the name of the hotel until she looked at the branding all around her.

Javier almost fainted when he saw Claire’s face. He was no stranger to violence, but the Bear’s face was beyond recognition, black and swollen with one eye puffy and closed. He hugged her gingerly and walked her to the bed. Claire was telling him she was fine, but she was very much not fine. Joseph had turned away from her to hide his tears and get control of himself. Javier handed her a pill and a glass of water. Once she was asleep, Joseph stayed in the room and Javier went looking for a new residence for her. He was gone all day and she slept peacefully.

Joseph looked down at her, deep in sleep. He saw the fifteen-year-old, fresh from the jungle, quiet and self-protective, completely vulnerable. He remembered her locked in the bathroom for hours, showering, flushing the toilet, showering again. Her fingers were puckered for the first several weeks from so much washing. Joseph and Javier bent over backwards to make her welcome and finally, after two weeks, she smiled, and then laughed at something said and Joseph thought his heart would explode with happiness. They were devoted to her happiness, and when she grew up, she returned their kindness by becoming the most extraordinary woman. Now here she was, beaten and broken. He took a deep breath and went back to his seat to pull himself together.

Javier arranged for a medical doctor to examine Claire at the hotel because she refused to leave the room. He gave her antibiotics and pain medication and ordered rest for a week as the swelling came down in her face. He was happy to say her eye was not damaged, and her sight would clear up in time. Claire took the medicine as directed and slept like the dead. Javier would go out each day making arrangements for her apartment and filling it with furniture, dishes, crystal, flat wear, pots and pans, linens, towels, shower gels, shampoo, even some makeup. He had impeccable taste, but he was not a thirty-year-old female in Chicago, so he hired a decorator to make the selections. All of it was the best quality money could buy and Javier was in heaven to be spoiling his Bear.

Claire had put the brakes on Javier’s extravagance at age eighteen. She allowed him to finance school and a simple wardrobe and saved her money for anything else she wanted. Joseph would drive her to her job each afternoon at a nearby printer. She sat on plastic for the ride home because she was covered in ink smears and dirt from crawling into the machines. Javier would wince seeing her filthy and exhausted but could never convince her to quit.

Everything changed for Claire when she was hired by Christie’s auction house to be a runner during auctions. Every other day she assisted the appraiser, the decorator, or anyone else that needed help. She was exposed to the great artists of the Renaissance, Baroque, Rococo , Neoclassicism, and Romanticism periods and she was hooked. During dinner one evening, she laid out her plan; what schools she would attend, what graduate school she would choose for her PHD, and her choice of career, teaching fine art at a respected University. She apologized for not knowing which University yet and Joseph shot a few peas across the table before he could raise the napkin to his mouth. The original plan never wavered, she did exactly what she said she would do.

After two weeks of rest, Javier checked them all out of the hotel and brought Claire to her new home, a high security, luxury apartment overlooking Lake Michigan. It was extravagant and huge, filled with high-end furniture and decorations. Claire found beautiful crystal stemware, glasses, mugs, plates and everything in between. Her closet was filled with basic clothing, drawers filled with undergarments, sweaters, belts and socks. She pressed her fingers against her mouth and couldn’t stop the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. She hugged her godfather, and then Joseph, shaking with emotion, so grateful for all their help.

Claire utilized the gourmet kitchen to cook an American favorite for Javier and Joseph, filet mignon, lobster tail with butter for dipping, baked potato and herb-roasted carrots. Javier hovered in case she needed help and Joseph laughed and told him to sit down and enjoy the sun setting on the Chicago skyline. Javier planned to rave over this simple, no sauce meal until the beef melted in his mouth and the lobster exploded with flavor. He lost himself in the unusual and primitive meal and Claire mentally high-fived herself. The meal was symbolic. She was a grownup who could manage life on her own, thanks to their help.

Claire hugged them goodbye at the elevator and promised to visit at Christmas next year. When the elevator doors closed, she took her first steps in independence, free of Frank, free to pursue her career, free to choose her every next step. The only thing still missing was color. The apartment building was opulent and surely full of beautiful colors, but she only saw shades of gray in the objects she passed.

Geillis made arrangements for Claire’s senior graduate student to start her classes when the new semester started. The administration was told her face was heeling after a car accident and they were too happy to help. The first day she walked into her lecture hall there was only sympathy on the faces watching her. She was grateful and soon her love of teaching took over and life returned to normal, albeit colorless.

[princecharmingmendes]

Electricity | Shawn Mendes

“Going to the gym it’s already a part of Shawn’s life, but the whole atmosphere changes when he sees you waking in for the first time. It was like electricity”

sooo, even tough i’m working on a new soulmate series  (follow me for more updates *wink*) i felt bad for not updating my masterlist or whatever recently, so i had this idea coming back from gym and it’s a really simple concept. anyways, i’ll stop rambling and hope you like this concept/blurb thing... that’s it, it’s not my best work, but it was what I could come up with... byeeee

*Word Count: 2.2K+

*Warnings: cursing and that's it!

*Posted: March 15th, 2020.

                                                           -*-

Shawn’s pretty sure he’s an idiot. Not that he ever doubted that, but right now he’s just one hundred percent sure he’s pathetic. Working out is a really important thing on his life, not only for working purposes, but also to be able to keep up with all the stuff he has to do in general and to keep himself healthy. So it’s no surprise he’s basically everyday on the gym or doing something, and he generally was really good on focusing only on his workout, but recently that was becoming harder and harder, all because of you.

He’d always workout on the mornings to be able to work after and be free for the rest of the day, making this routine to not have excuses to skip leg day. And since this have been for a while, he knew pretty much everyone around him enough to notice when someone new showed up, but he didn’t pay much attention. That was until the first time he saw you. You were walking into the gym with a friend, giggling about something she said with an adorable blush on your face, an oversized hoodie and a pair of black leggings, and the messiest yet most beautiful ponytail he has ever seen in his life.

He just stood there in shock, mesmerized by the sound of you laughing and breathtaking smile and his trainer even asked if he was okay, which he just nodded. He tried so hard not to look at you because he thought that was invasive and kind of a dick thing to do, he couldn’t help to find himself looking for you, trying so bad to keep his eyes to himself. He didn’t want to be a creep. The second time his trainer noticed, he told him she was the sweetest girl he ever met but was dating some dude at work. The third time he tried to ignore your presence but it was hard, you were like a magnet and your voice was like melody to his ears.

His biggest regret was telling that to his friends, they didn’t miss a beat on mocking him about the mysterious girl he’s been crazy about. Every single time he mentioned something gym related they would make some funny comment about it. Brian even decided he would join him on his workout just to see the girl that’s been on his friends mind for a while now. So a week later he joined Shawn at the gym on his usual time and couldn’t stop cursing.

“Dude, why do you wake up that early?!”

“So that I can start my day knowing I already worked out and that I’m free”

“You are fucking insane, Mendes”

“Fuck off, Brian” he said chuckling as he got there and pushed the door open.

“I better end up looking like you after all this sacrifice”

“You know that’s not how working out works, right?”

“Yeah, and that’s why I hate it”

“Shut up, you didn’t even started, dude”

“Whatever” Brian said as they approached the trainer, only to be told to start by earning up.

They followed Shawn’s insane routine, with Brian complaining at every single movement, saying it was pointless since you were not there for him to finally meet you, even tough Shawn didn’t even had the courage to talk to you. When Brian was cursing for the billionth time, Shawn saw you walking in alone and going straight to the girl who he noticed that might be your trainer.

“Dude, what’re you... oh shit, that’s her isn’t she?”

“Yeah”

“Shit, I know her”

“What?!”

“I mean, I don’t actually know her, but she’s a really good Finn’s friend”

“Finn’s? She’s not his girlfriend?”

“No, dude, he’s got a girlfriend for two years now”

“Holy shit”

“Want me to talk to her and introduce you guys?”

“That would be so awkward”

“Only if you make it”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea”

“Are we done?”

“With what?”

“Your routine? ‘Cause I honestly feel like I won’t be able to talk tomorrow”

“Yeah, we can cut it a little shorter today”

“Great, hey, Y/N!”

“Brian” Shawn hissed through gritted teeth but it was too late, you turned around to see who was calling your name, and then you shot them a breathtaking smile, or at least, Shawn was finding it extremely hard to breath.

“Brian, right?” she asked approaching both of them.

“Yeah, that’s me, and this is Shawn, my best friend”

“Hi, Shawn” she said smiling at me and offering her hand to shake, and so I did.

“Hey, nice to meet you” Shawn said unable to hold back the grin that was plastered on his pink lips.

“Are you guys done? I don’t want to bother you too”

“Yeah, we’re cool, how’ve you been?”

“Fine, actually, things are a little crazy at work but that’s a good thing right?”

“I guess so, she’s a lawyer” Brian said.

“Oh, that’s nice”

“What have you been doing?”

“I’ve been working with Shawn for the past months”

“Really? Didn’t know you had music gift”

“Oh, he doesn’t” Shawn said and the girl giggled.

“I’ve been helping him on tour”

“So basically you’ve been traveling ‘helping Shawn’ and being payed for it?”

“Pretty much” Shawn said smiling.

“Hey, I do a lot, okay?”

“Sure thing, Brian, how do I take his place?”

“Just say the word” Shawn said chuckling making Y/N giggle, his heart melting at the sound.

“Great to know you too are already friendly enough to mock me” Brian said making both of their faces red.

“Anyway, it was nice talking to you guys, but I really gotta start this so I won’t be late later”

“Sure, it was nice seeing you too, Y/N, take care” Brian said and Shawn just mumbled a quick ‘bye’ before she turned away smiling at them “now you know each other” Brian said grinning and Shawn hit the back of his head playfully.

“You idiot” Shawn said as they left the gym laughing.

                                                         -*-

Since their first introduction, they haven’t talked much but would always say ‘hi’ at least to each other everyday, and she didn’t leave his mind at all. It was getting harder to don’t seem like a creep for looking at her while she was trying to mind her own business and sometimes he even caught her staring, but quickly turning away. So when she didn’t show up one day he got worried, she didn’t seem the type to miss her training, at least, she didn’t on the last month and a half. He even considered asking what happened to her coach but decided to drop it. But for his relief, she came to talk to Shawn’s trainer about it.

“Y/N called to say she couldn’t make it”

“Oh, everything alright?”

“Yeah, she just had a meeting she had to reschedule and she’s super busy, so this was the only time she and her client could meet”

“Nice... can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure”

“I won’t be able to come here on Friday, can you keep an eye on Shawn for me?”

“Totally, I just have to ask Y/N since she’s in for his usual time”

“I can come on another time if you want” Shawn said as he finished a series, taking a break.

“I’ll talk to her, if she doesn’t mind, would it be bad for you?”

“No, not at all” Shawn said trying to contain his excitement.

“Great, thanks, Jen”

“Anytime, Duke” she said as she went back to where she was previously.

“She said Y/N finds you cute”

“What?”

“Yeah, you should ask her out”

“Dude, are you serious? Is my love life you entertainment?” Shawn asked trying to keep his features as serious as possible.

“Pretty much”

“Unbelievable”

“But for real, you should really ask her out, it’s been a while you’ve been drooling over her and not doing anything about it”

“Yeah, maybe Friday”

“Whatever works for you, rockstar, now let’s go back to work”

                                                         -*-

Friday came faster than expected. Shawn was practically hoping on the streets to get to the gym in excitement. Jen was already there when he arrived, but he didn’t spot Y/N, which calmed him a bit.

“Hey, how are you?”

“Hi, Shawn, good morning, Duke showed me his plans for you, do you mind if we change it a bit?”

“Not at all, what do you have in mind?”

“I know you have some hard times stretching, so maybe we could work on that as well? To balance things a bit”

“Sure”

“Great, Y/N will be here anytime, wanna start warming up a bit?”

“Works for me”

Just as Shawn was doing as Jen told him to, Y/N walked in wearing a pair of leggings and an oversized hoodie, as always, and her hair in two braids. He could feel his palms sweating.

“Good morning, guys” Y/N said smiling at them.

“Morning” they both answered.

“So, Jen, what are we doing today?”

“We’re not going to change much, Shawn’s going to fit in your routine”

“Good luck, dude”

“Hey, it can’t be that hard right? I think I can handle it” he said, feeling his ego being punched.

Shawn didn’t consider himself as an athlete of anything like that, but he worked out hard for a while now.

“Let’s ser about that, tiger” Y/N said with a grin playing on her lips.

“Enough with the flirting, can we start?”

“Yes, Ma’am” Shawn said as soon as he felt his face heat up and Y/N’s cheek get a little pinker than usual.

He was so wrong. His workout routine was pretty intense, but hers were just something else. She trained a lot the muscles on her anda and back due to pain she has from stress and position at work, so there’s not so much weight lifting but what she does is just as bad, Shawn found himself almost begging to grab a few weights or something on his routine. When Jen announced the worst was over he almost felt happy, then he remembered she told him she was going to help them stretch, which was literally his biggest fear.

He was mesmerized by Y/N’s ability to apparently ignore the natural humane positions and simply became like a doll on Jen’s hands. He just stood there in awe with every movement she made while he couldn’t even touch his toes. But even tough the training was completely different and out of his comfort zone, he swear he never had more fun in his life. Y/N was constantly cracking jokes and making some sarcastic yet funny comments about pretty much everything. He was also impressed at how naturally the conversation was flowing between them, they sometimes ever forgot that Jen was right there beside them the whole time, only being remembered due to the exercises and the bickering about their flirting situation. Shawn found himself disappointed on how fast the minutes flew by.

“Well, it was fun, guys, see you two on Monday” Jen said as we grabbed our stuff.

“See you, Jen, thank you” Shawn said as she went to her next class.

“She’s right, today was actually really nice” Y/N said looking up at Shawn from where she was sitting on the floor.

“It was, Monday we’ll have the part two to this”

“Yeah... or maybe...”

“Yeah?” Shawn asked offering a hand for her to stand up, which she gladly took with a smile on her lips.

“Are you free right now?”

“I am, why?”

“Wanna go grab something to eat? There’s this really nice place nearby with some healthy stuff and great iced teas”

“I’d love that, actually I was intending to ask you out for a while now”

“I know” She said chuckling.

“What? Wait... how?!”

“Brian told me”

“I’m going to kill him” Shawn muttered under his breath.

“Hey” she said squeezing his hand, that he even forgot that was still holding hers “don’t do it, I’ve been wanting to do the same for a while now”

“Really?” Shawn asked, his whole demeanor changing into a smirk, making her blush.

“Yeah, I was just waiting to see if you’d actually do something other than ask about me or stare at me from a distance”

“Sorry, I got a little nervous”

“That’s why I decided to step up”

“And I appreciate it, but I was wondering... if we could actually have a proper date, one that I’m not all sweaty and shit”

“Hmm... it depends”

“On what?”

“Are actually going to ask me out this time?”

“Y/N, would you like to go on date with me... tonight... or whenever you’re available actually”

“I’d love to, and tonight’s just fine by the way”

“Okay, I’ll pick you up at seven?”

“Fine by me, give me your phone” she said and I handled it to her, in which she wrote her number down.

“Thank you” Shawn said smiling at her.

“Are we still going to grab something to eat now or...?”

“Oh, yeah, sure, let’s go” Shawn said squeezing her hand back and she just smiled at him, not letting go of his hand as she pulled him outside.

Shawn could literally feel his whole body exploding in excitement. Little did he know, she was feeling the same way.

                                                          -*-

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-🌙

: @fivefeetapartt

[daresplaining]

[ID: Excerpt from Lee’s Daredevil run. Jack Murdock is boxing with a blond-haired opponent in front of a large crowd. College-age Matt and Foggy are cheering him on from the sidelines.]

Jack: “The Fixer said I have to take a dive in the first round tonight! But my boy’s here tonight, to root for his dad! I’ve always trained him to do his best... I can’t disappoint him now!”

Fixer: “Murdock! You fool! Take it easy! What are you doin’?! If you’re tryin’ to double-cross me, you’ll live to regret it! You’re supposed to dive now... hear? Dive!”

Foggy: “He’s winnin’, Matt! Your dad’s pulverizing him!”

Matt: “(I know it! I can follow the fight perfectly, by hearing the sound of each blow, each footstep!)” 

Jack: “It’s my one chance! ...Maybe my last chance... to do something to make my son proud of me! I’m not gonna fail him! I’m gonna win... do ya hear... I’m gonna win!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #1 by Stan Lee, Bill Everett, and Sam Rosen

    This is unprompted by anything, but since it’s on my mind, I wanted to discuss it: 

    There’s a conversation that can be had about Jack’s decision to not throw his final fight, and whether or not it was a responsible thing to do. On the one hand, it was a powerful move that symbolically shaped the rest of Matt’s life. Jack makes the decision to stand up for his morals, and for himself, and with his son cheering for him, he does the impossible and wins a fight everyone told him he had to lose. This type of persistence against incredible odds is a major Daredevil motif. Jack’s decision to stand up to the Fixer and his cronies aligns with the bullying themes that exist throughout Matt’s origin story, and is reflected afterward by Matt’s decision to take that same stand and become a superhero. It’s also a beautiful, emotional depiction of a man who has struggled his entire life and finally achieves a sense of self-worth and empowerment. Jack’s final fight is a powerful picture of heroism, and this is why it is such a frequently-referenced moment in DD history. 

    But it also got Jack killed, and-- and this is the tricky bit-- he presumably knew it would. Jack was born and raised in a neighborhood dominated by organized crime. Whether or not you subscribe to the version of continuity in which he was blackmailed into working as a mob enforcer for a while, it’s a clear fact that Jack, having grown up in this environment, would have a sense of how gangsters operated, which means knowing what happens to those who anger them. While the earliest versions of the story (in Daredevil #1 and #53) gloss over the actual conversation between Jack and the Fixer before the big fight, Roger McKenzie spells it right out in his retelling in #164:

[ID: Excerpt from McKenzie’s Daredevil run. Jack Murdock is working out in a gym in nothing but short shorts (I swear...) when two gangster-looking men in fedoras come in. One (the Fixer) is short, the other is tall.]

Fixer: “Jackie boy, you been workin’ too hard. You ought’a take it easy. Real easy. So easy you lose your next fight, know what I mean?”

Jack: “Why, you lousy little--! I never threw a fight in my life! I sure as hell ain’t gonna start now!”

[ID: Jack tries to punch the Fixer, but the tall gangster grabs his wrist.]

Fixer: “Jackie boy, you either take a dive... or you’re a dead man!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #164 by Roger McKenzie, Frank Miller, and Glynis Wein

    Jack knows the stakes: if he doesn’t throw the match, he’ll be killed. Entering into this impossible situation is part of the tragedy of his story. He was previously aware of the Fixer by reputation, and avoided having anything to do with him until he had no other option. For Matt’s sake, Jack sacrifices both his morals and his personal safety by agreeing to associate with a manager who is known within the boxing community to be crooked and dangerous. 

[ID: Two panels from Thomas’s Daredevil run. In the first, Jack is walking down the street, away from the viewer, with his hands in his pockets. In the next he is in the office of a boxing manager, leaning over his desk. The manager is lighting a cigar.]

Jack: “I’m too old... haven’t been able to land a fight in weeks! But, I’ve got to keep fightin’... till Matt gets thru college! I owe him that!”

Matt (caption): “Finally, in desperation, Dad made a fatal decision...”

Guy: “Sorry, Murdock... but the only guy who’ll manage a has-been like you is... the Fixer!”

Jack: “The Fixer! I always swore to steer clear of a guy with his reputation! But now I’ve got no choice... I have to get a fight!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #53 by Roy Thomas, Gene Colan, and Artie Simek

    But in spite of this knowledge, Jack also shows a surprising degree of naivete in this situation. He’s a good person, maybe a little too trusting, maybe not quite as street smart as he ought to be. He is a victim, toyed with by people who are happy to prey on his earnestness and desperation. Despite being aware of how shady the Fixer is, Jack is still shocked to learn that his fights are being fixed, and affronted by the suggestion that he would agree to take part in that deception. But even so, once the situation becomes clear to him, he does know that the consequences will be dire for him if he refuses to throw the fight. For Jack, deciding to welcome those consequences and finding the strength to actually win the fight is a personal victory, but there’s an uncomfortable grey area within that decision, because by choosing to set a moral example for his son in spite of the risk, he is also choosing to abandon Matt. 

[ID: Excerpt from the Battlin’ Jack Murdock mini-series. Jack is in an alley, getting beaten up by several gangsters in fedoras. His face is bloody. One of the gangsters, Slade, holds a handgun to Jack’s head.]

Slade: “You ain’t scared, huh, tough guy?! Maybe after we’re done with you, we’ll go get your boy. Maybe we’ll make him deaf and dumb too! Whaddaya think about that, Murdock? You think we should go see your boy?”

Jack: “Heh heh. You... you do that. Ha. You go see my boy. Ha ha ha!”

Daredevil: Battlin’ Jack Murdock #4 by Zeb Wells and Carmine Di Giandomenico

    The Battlin’ Jack Murdock mini-series makes an effort to break down Jack’s mindset regarding this decision. Ultimately, it resorts to using a retcon (or at least, an addition to the canon not seen elsewhere) to justify Jack’s actions: Jack discovers Matt’s fighting abilities shortly before the match, and goes to his death safe in the knowledge that his son can take care of himself. I like this plot point just because the idea of Jack discovering Matt’s secret is fun to consider. But it doesn’t really work to smooth over this wrinkly bit of characterization, because a parent’s concern for their child’s wellbeing usually goes further than just “can my kid physically defend themself against possible future retribution stemming from my actions?”. Jack’s “Oh phew, Matt’s a badass!” doesn’t, I feel, go deep enough. Without Jack, Matt only has one other significant person in his life at this point: Foggy. And that does end up being enough-- Foggy’s support gets him through the initial anguish of losing his father, and Matt graduates college and builds a successful life for himself-- but it still looks a lot like selfishness. Jack may be trying to set a moral example for Matt by winning the fight, but what good is that when it’s a decision that ends up harming them both? Jack may be willing to die for the sake of taking a stand, but shouldn’t Matt, who is forced to suffer the emotional toll of losing his father, have a say in that decision too? 

    Jack wins that fight for himself and for the message it sends to Matt. This is firmly established. But what is also firmly established is that Jack would have done anything for Matt. He sacrificed everything to give his child the best life he could, and for a long time, the two of them only had each other. Jack certainly made mistakes, but it seems wrong to think that he would willingly choose to leave Matt alone. It is possible to read this moment as Jack deciding that Matt is ready to be left alone-- he was in college, well on his way to adulthood and independence, he had a caring best friend, and thus Jack felt safe in letting Matt go off on his own. I think that’s part of what Battlin’ Jack Murdock was trying to get at, and I do certainly think that was a factor. But I also believe strongly in the sheer emotional force of that moment in the ring when Jack made his fateful choice. 

[ID: Excerpt from the Daredevil: Yellow mini-series. Jack, in the ring, punches his opponent in the face while Matt and Foggy cheer him on from the sidelines.]

Matt: “Take him, Dad!”

Announcer: “Unbelievable! ‘Southpaw’ Jack Murdock has floored Creel with a hard right to the jaw!”

Daredevil: Yellow #1 by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale

    I want nothing more than to give Jack the benefit of the doubt, and my personal interpretation of the decision is that there was no forethought involved. Jack goes into this fight angry and horribly conflicted, and then in the heat of it all he realizes he can win, he hears Matt cheering for him, and he just goes for it, unleashing a lifetime of grief and frustration, determined to behave heroically in front of the son who means more to him than his own life. Maybe, in the elation of the moment, he convinces himself that he’ll be able to handle the Fixer’s retribution, or maybe he no longer cares one way or the other. But it’s such a visceral scene that for me, I’m convinced that emotion was the main driving factor behind Jack’s decision.