#i think brad and i will need to field test this theory he is also shocked and befuddled

[dear-ao3]

thinking about that one interview where lando norris says he wears four of the most basic man colognes at once. why does he do this. how does he not give everyone around him a major headache. what is the thought process behind this.

[ciathyzareposts]

Curse of Enchantia – WON!!

Written by Alfred n the Fettuc

That’s it! I conquered Curse of Enchantia! I slayed the beast! Victory! Free at last!

I have mixed feelings about it. One part of me is very proud to have done this without a walkthrough (even if the temptation was very strong a few times) and the other part is astonished by the vacuity of the whole thing. I think my soul has died a little by playing this game to completion. Good thing it was for the blog, if it helps at least one person to stay away from this game in the future, maybe my sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.

But for now, let’s all go back in the enchanted land of Enchantia one last time in order to help Brad get rid of the evil sorceress once and for all! Yay!

Don’t worry, Brad. It’ll all be over real soon.

After my trip to the planes of madness, I find myself back in town once more. As I now have in my possession the precious fire extinguisher and electric fan, I pay another visit to the wizard. I expect him to send me back to the cliff so I can give these items to the giant parrot but then again, the wizard has proven in the past he can be a little erratic about what his magic exactly does. What’s the worse than could happen? It’s not like he’s going to kill me right?

Oh.

So I wake up into some sort of grave, proving the wizard has a sick sense of humour (or is totally incompetent). Looking around me, I grab a bone and ATTACK the wall with it so Brad can carve his way out of here.

Black Mamba was a wuss.

Exiting the grave, I find myself in a nice looking graveyard, complete with a tombstone to my name, bats, full moon and zombie hands trying to grab innocent feet. Nice place you got there! I guess I’m getting close to the evil enchantress. If only the music would change somewhat to reflect the atmosphere of the whole thing, but then again we are stuck with the same tune.

Why my tombstone is actually on the grave next to mine is anyone’s guess. Maybe it was another Brad.

Immediately after, a vampire appears and rushes towards me. When he touches me I disappear and the whole scene starts again. This puzzle is actually the one that took me the most time during this session. I grabbed the cymbals and the shovel next to me and tried everything on the vampire but nothing worked.

What a warm welcome! In my arms!

The fact that the vampire is running towards me is a bit of a clue though. I try to go down on the screen for him to get grabbed by the zombie hands but I get grabbed instead. I spend a long time trying a lot of things but the solution is simple enough. You have to get behind your grave as soon as you exit it so the vampire falls into it. The difficulty is actually managing that because the pathfinding is quite finicky and the time window very short. After the bandit and the yeti, this is the third time in this game someone falls down while trying to grab me. At least this time I actually had to do something for him to fall, it wasn’t automatic.

The land of Enchantia is full of clumsy runners.

After getting rid of the vampire, I grab what seems to be a mirror or a silver plate on the ground and can finally progress east (after falling in my own grave once or twice and getting grabbed by the hands because of the hit detection). After a few steps, the vampire reappears but stands still this time.

Surprise!

I’ll call the vampire Bob for now on because it seems he won’t go down so easily so he needs to be named and Bob seems like a suitable name for him. So this time, attacking Bob with the shovel works!

Worst vampire ever.

Two more steps and Bob is there again. This time, he is nice enough to let me take all my time in order to pick up the garlic bread and the crucifix lying on the ground. 

New theory : Bob just likes getting hurt and he leaves these kinds of items purposefully on the ground.

So now I have a few items to get rid of a vampire : crucifix, garlic bread, mirror. Even the cymbals, fire extinguisher, match and the pen could easily be used. But as we all know now about Enchantia, there is only one way to solve a puzzle. So this time, you have to push the tombstone next to Bob on his foot.

I expect the next encounter to be solved with a 1-ton acme weight.

I can then proceed to the next screen… and you guessed it… Bob is already waiting for me. I think he’s into BDSM or something.

50 shades of vampire.

So how are we gonna hurt Bob this time? Simple enough, I eat the garlic bread and make him smell my breath.

Good thing there is no damsel in distress in this game. My killer breath could have been a problem later.

I grab the vacuum cleaner (probably left there by an overzealous graveyard keeper) and Bob reappears.

He is not even trying anything now. He’s just waiting for me to attack him with something.

Attacking him with the crucifix works this time. Pretty straightforward. Let’s move on.

I am the great Jacinto. Take that!

Going farther east, this time, Bob reappears, badly hidden behind a gravestone, waiting for me. He is a bit late though, because I’m already behind him.

Come on, buddy, you’re not even trying.

I approach him quietly (probably with a sadistic grim) and attack with the cymbals. Turns out this vampire is also sensitive to strong sounds.

Don’t worry. This hurts you more than it hurts me.

Finally, Bob seems to have had enough and he quits his job, leaving the door open.

Come on, Bob, don’t take it like that, we were having fun.

The next screen holds a skeleton, a flower and a strange-looking tree. Very elaborate, especially considering you can’t seem to do anything with any of these objects and that only one of the three obvious exits works.

My guess : a few puzzles had to be cut due to budget or time restrictions. Well I won’t complain. This game has wasted enough of my time already.

So I go into the only walkable exit northeast and arrive in front of a gate with fire-spewing gargoyles. Maybe it’s finally time to use my fire extinguisher? Nope. You just have to walk to the gate and push it.

I certainly hope this security system didn’t cost them too much…

I arrive in front of what can only be the enchantress’ castle and enter by the front gate. So I’m guessing the whole security of the castle was based on a single pain-loving vampire and two useless fire-breathing gargoyles. I kinda wonder why the enchantress hasn’t been overthrown by the people earlier.

Once you realise the monstrous door looks like it wears a small red hat, the whole thing feels more festive than intimidating.

I pass the empty hall of the castle and enter an empty room with a fireplace in which I find a lonely golden ring on the ground.

The only interactive item in this room. Seems like a waste.

Trying to climb the stairs in the hall leads to a kinda funny slapstick moment where the stairs give way and Brad falls down face first.

Well funny except for Brad who is now completely toothless.

The door on the right leads to a library. Only one book is interactive. I try picking it up but it doesn’t work. Turns out you have to push/pull it because, as in all good castle libraries, it opens a secret passage.

I think the book in question is “Adventure game programming for dummies”

And the secret passage leads to… the enchantress’ laboratory. This is it. The final showdown. The battle for control over Enchantia. The ultimate fight for my freedom.

Hey you look eerily like your sister in the ice cave, don’t you?

So the fight goes as this : the enchantress prepares a spell and you have a few seconds to react before she kills/stun you and you can try again. Her first attack is a ghost she sends toward you.

‘Tis but a flesh wound

Considering you’re locked in your spot and your only options are using all your inventory items, the whole ordeal is pretty straightforward and relies mostly on trial and error. For now, attacking with the vacuum cleaner works on the ghost.

Who you gonna call?

For her next attack, the enchantress evokes fireballs so the fire extinguisher seems to be the obvious choice. It stumped me a little because you have to PUSH the extinguisher, not ATTACK with it.

Here, cool off.

She then switches to direct fire blasts in your face which are surprisingly fast. You need to attack with the electric fan to send the blast back to her.

Magic can’t do anything against a good electric appliance.

The enchantress collapses and you need to put the ring on her finger (well let’s say you need to COMBINE the ring with the enchantress). Why? At this point I confess I’m just trying anything on anything and not searching for any kind of justification. I’m guessing the ring that was just lying on the floor three screens back was the ultimate weapon against the witch. Kind of another big oversight in the overall security, don’t you think?

Now that the witch is done for, I can quietly turn super-saiyan.

And with that done, we are teleported back to the baseball field and are granted a fabulous end screen with Brad doing his victory jump, fist first and smiling at the camera, like the hero of some kind of very bad 80’s baseball underdog movie.

Oh, and Shadow of the Beast wants its font back.

And that’s it! Yay! I can’t help but feel the whole ending sequence has been drastically cut, probably because someone at Core Design felt the whole creating process had been long enough (and probably cutting back on beta-testing as well). Then again, considering the difficulty of some of the other parts of the game, I really can’t complain. The ending sequence is straightforward and could even have been fun (despite its simplicity) if my hatred for the game hadn’t been so high at this point.

I’m not sure the lads gave enough criticism.

For a bit of fun I looked over Let’s play on the net and I found one narrated by none other than Yahtzee Croshaw (of Zero Punctuation fame). Here is a link to it. It’s as funny as usual (if you don’t know his work, I really urge you to look into it, the guy is hilarious) and he comments on a lot of similar points we did (notably concerning the blu-tack for example).

So now, all I have left to do is crush the game with all the might of the PISSED system (which probably never wore its name more accordingly), but in the meantime I have a few questions, I don’t know if anyone can answer but I need to ask them anyway.

Why did I finish the game with 92% completion? Maybe I missed a fantastic optional area with exceptional puzzles? Yeah, probably not.

What were the use of the silver plate, the pen and the piece of meat?

Why didn’t I do anything in the village inn? Seems like a lot of work for an area with absolutely no purpose.

Why am I still asking questions about this game while all I want to do is drink my sorrows away and go play an actual good adventure game?

Thank you all, folks for your support during this ordeal. I couldn’t have done it without you. See you next week for the final rating!

Session time : 1 hour Final total time : 9 hours 30 minutes (way too long) Items that never found a purpose : Piece of meat, match, silver plate, pen Final score : 441 Percentage complete : 92% (why???)

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/curse-of-enchantia-won/

[junker-town]

The year the Celtics became real

Even in defeat to a superior foe, Boston found a solid winning formula and built a foundation for its future.

For the past four years, the Boston Celtics have existed more in theory than reality. Whatever they accomplished was merely a prelude to a time when draft picks and free agents became tangible roster elements instead of dreamy fantasies. Hiding behind the space reserved in the rafters for Banner 18 is an existential quandary that has followed this team around all season: Does any of this really mean anything?

Here’s a test. If you were to ask a Celtics fan back in October if they would be happy with a 53-win season that ended in the conference finals they would say, “Yes. Obviously.” They would want details, of course, and most of the details have been positive.

Isaiah Thomas became an All-NBA player and top-10 finisher in the Most Valuable Player voting. Prized free agent big man Al Horford showed his worth in the postseason after a solid, if occasionally uneven, first season in Boston. Avery Bradley continued to improve as an offensive player and was a defensive monster in the playoffs. Jae Crowder posted career best marks in 3-point shooting, rebounding, and assists.

The young players also made contributions. Marcus Smart did so many Smartian things that he became became an impactful player in the league even without a reliable jump shot. Second-year man Terry Rozier showed remarkable flashes of speed and power, becoming one of the best rebounding guards in the league, albeit in a limited role. Rookie Jaylen Brown offered glimpses of a ceiling many thought was beyond him when he was drafted, and pushed through the rookie wall to earn significant playoff minutes.

There were things the Celtics did well, and things that needed improvement, such as their wandering defensive intensity during stretches of the season. There were also fatal flaws, namely an inability to control the defensive boards and generate consistent offense without Thomas.

Still, there was much to appreciate about the Celtics’ season and that’s before we get to the first overall pick they won in the lottery via the legendary Brooklyn trade.

Taking all those factors together, there is no logical way to argue that this has been anything but a smashing success.

And yet, the C’s were overwhelmed in the conference finals by LeBron James and the Cavaliers in five games that included three losses on their home floor by an astonishing total of 90 points. They tested the limits of their abilities and it turned out to be exactly where everyone thought it was.

“We had a great year,” Brad Stevens said. “In some ways, we made a run at it. We made progress, but not good enough. And you know, I've said this before, if you coach in Boston, good enough is what matters.”

If LeBron and the Cavs are the measuring stick, then the Celtics failed their final test, just as Atlanta, Toronto, and so many others have before them. There is surely a case to be made that the only thing that matters is winning championships and everything else (even the super-fun stuff) is just for show. But that’s only half right.

“I don't have any objectives other than winning the whole thing,” Stevens said. “To me, that's the only goal you shoot for because then if you don't, if you put your goals lower, then you create a ceiling for your team, and I don't think that's fair to your team.”

Fair, but there is space between the good and bad when judging a season in full. This is the territory that Stevens works as a coach and this is where we really should examine their season.

After they beat the Wizards in seven games, I tried to get Stevens to bite on a big-picture question. He wasn’t having it. With Stevens, there are no mystical forces at work and the Basketball Gods find no favor here.

When I joked with him later that my goal in the playoffs is to get him to be introspective, Stevens casually replied that he has certain principles and he lives his life by those credos. The critical validation that comes with winning a couple of playoff series isn’t important to him.

Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

Stevens’ principles involve simple things like honesty and clarity. They also work on deeper levels, such as his belief in the ability to evolve and improve every day through practice and experience. That’s where the interesting stuff takes place. Get at that and you can understand what makes Stevens a good coach and what truly characterizes this team.

That Stevens is good at what he does is no great revelation. It’s obvious to even casual fans that he draws up super-neato plays out of timeouts that lend themselves to Zapruder-like breakdowns the next day. (The weakside screen is back and to the left.)

Yet, the X’s and O’s are merely the textures on the canvas that make the painting come alive. The broader outlines of the portrait take a bit longer to come into focus but are no less illuminating. This is the light they need to be viewed in at the moment.

In full view, the Celtics displayed an admirable feistiness that played well in Boston (as it would everywhere), and that quality defined them across the league. Coaches worried about getting run out of the Garden and opponents respected them because they’re a pain to play against. Whether they feared them is another matter.

Even the Celtics’ most ardent detractors gave them nods of grudging respect, while hoping they get put back in their place by better teams. Including the postseason, they were 2-7 against the Cavs and 19-16 against the rest of the East playoff field, which was hardly the stuff of dominance.

They did, however, beat every team in the league at least once except San Antonio, Oklahoma City, and (oddly) Denver. So, while they sometimes overmatched, they were usually competitive. You can’t win 53 games by accident.

That secured the top seed in the East and it was a weird achievement. They had their chance to take control of the race late in the season and were blown out by the very Cavaliers who gifted them the top spot with their lethargic disinterest down the stretch. That left the Celtics in the awkward position of defending their regular season status while needing to prove themselves worthy in the postseason.

What happened during the playoffs was validation, to a point. The Chicago series was harder than it should have been, and the C’s were fortunate that Rajon Rondo was injured during Game 2. When the Bulls took the fight to them, however, they responded. Bradley and Smart stood toe-to-toe with Jimmy Butler and Dwyane Wade and they ripped off four straight wins.

The Celtics then went seven frantic games with the Wizards, which seemed right. The C’s rallied to win games at home, while the Wiz won convincingly on their floor. There was a draining closeout attempt in Game 6 that ended in a crushing defeat, but they persevered in a memorable Game 7 performance.

It was a great series, arguably the best of the entire postseason, and either team could have won. The Wizards have been proclaiming themselves superior ever since, but that’s a hollow boast. Expectations may be graded on a curve, but wins and losses are not.

Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

Again there were positive individual signs. Horford came through like the max free agent he is with brilliant all-around performances. Even Kelly Olynyk -- long the most beleaguered member of the team by the home fans -- had his turn as a cult favorite and Game 7 hero.

Equally important was the play of Isaiah Thomas. Many people went into that series believing that John Wall was the best player on the court and while he often was, Thomas matched his best moments and even surpassed them.

The debate over whether Thomas is a great player or just a small guy doing amazing things will rage forever and it may ultimately define their future course. During the 2016-17 season, however, Thomas was a marvel to watch and one of the single best things about the NBA experience.

His postseason run has to be viewed as the culmination of that incredible star trip. That he persevered through personal tragedy and injury to deliver heroic performances when many wondered how effective he’d be during the postseason is now the stuff of legend.

Getting past the Bulls and Wizards were notable achievements and that’s where things stood heading into the conference finals. Even with homecourt advantage, no one seriously gave them a chance to beat Cleveland and they didn’t come close.

They were blown out and embarrassed at home in the first two games, losing Thomas to a hip injury in the process. Coming back to win Game 3 in Cleveland was astonishing and an immense credit to their character. They had a shot in Game 4, but had no answer for the individual brilliance of LeBron and Kyrie Irving.

Back home at the Garden for Game 5, their closeout game had all the intensity of a regular season blowout in December. That left a bitter taste to an otherwise fine season and all of that brings us right back to the beginning.

They will try to get a star in the draft and maybe even one during the summer. There will be roster decisions that will bring clarity to their ultimate direction. The Celtics will keep evolving because they have to if they want to truly be among the elite. This season needs to be viewed in that context, as a bridge to another destination.

This was the season when the Celtics went from a hypothetical entity to team of significance and it must also be said that the journey was a helluva lot of fun. They reached their potential and even if it left them wanting more, it’s hard to ask for much more than that from an NBA season.