#i think actually that balloon might of been stuffed with laughing gas..

[hyunpic]

the most happiest scientist in the world

[likes-words-and-shrimp]

How These Feelings Fall Into Place

Lloyd and Sheena spend time together at an annual festival held in Mizuho. The next day, Lloyd would leave again. That was okay, wasn't it?

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Lloyd Irving/Sheena Fujibuyashi Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: Written for @theguineapig3​ for @talesofsecretsanta2018​ !! I wanted to try to write a good gift that would at least come halfway to the gift you made for me last year! It is still one of my most favorite things! I hope this little story turns out okay. Happy Holidays!

“Just put the set over here!” Sheena called out, and the men nodded. Crates of the dumplings were placed by the stall nearer the entrance. Mizuho was brighter than it usually was at night, when most of the villagers either retreated to their homes, or were away on missions in other, more livelier places. But the yearly festival transformed the secretive village into a place decorated with paper lanterns, bonfires for the mass amounts of food ready to be cooked, and several stalls that marketed even more food and games.

It was known as the Mystical Village for a reason!

“Chief Sheena!” spoke another man, still dressed in his garb from his latest mission, appearing suddenly from nothing. His dark clothes made him blend with the rest of the night. “I have ordered the balloons from Meltokio, as you asked! They should be arriving at any moment.”

Sheena nodded with satisfaction. “Good work, Orochi! We’ll make this our best festival yet!”

She was still a bit new to this Chief business, but with the World Reunification duties, the constant trips to Meltokio to ensure that things kept running smoothly, and just overseeing day-to-day life in the village, Sheena had her hands full, learning all she could from Tiga. But festivals! She had loved those especially, and helping organize one had felt more like play than business.

“Anything else need to be done? I saw Chiyo’s wrists had been hurting so…” She cracked her knuckles, feeling invigorated – “I can help out with her taiyaki making!”

Orochi though had this look. A look that meant that he had more news to share. “Actually, we just got word from one of our scouts near Sybak. It seems that one of your friends will be arriving soon for the festival.”

Sheena blinked. Who had she told about this festival? Not many, since everyone had to do their own things after the world was reunited. Regal had his company to overlook, Raine and Genis were still traveling together, and Colette had mentioned something about taking care of dogs, which had been hard to understand as she had spoken about it so excitedly last time… She inwardly groaned, remembering that Zelos knew for sure, and probably wanted to butt his nose into it like usual. It was bad enough he hit on the women here during the day! “Ugh, so it’s that idiot again?”

At that, Orochi raised an eyebrow. “While I understand Lloyd may be a bit slow at times, I think idiocy is a bit-”

“Wait, Lloyd?” she shouted, then lowered her voice. “He – I don’t – I don’t think he’s an idiot! J-just-! He’s coming here?”

“That’s what the reports said.”

She wasn’t prepared at all for this.

“Hi, Sheena! Wow, this place looks so bright! What are those paper-looking thingies?”

Sheena swallowed, ecstatic to see the young man standing before her. Here! During one of her favorite times in Mizuho! Although it was hard to get her tongue to work, suddenly feeling it too big for her mouth. Was it swollen? Did she eat something that made her allergic? Oh no, Lloyd was staring at her so much. Maybe her injury from the last mission was still on her face-

“Hey, uh, Sheena? You’re kinda blanking out.”

“Y-yes! Yeah! Haha…” She shook her head, gathering herself. She put on ‘Chief-mode Sheena’ in her place, pretending she was talking to one of her subordinates. Who was wearing blindingly bright red. That would never work for any ninja or for any kind of stealth mission and why the heck was she thinking the logistics of this?

“It’s good to see you. And those are paper lanterns!” She gestured to the decorations that lined the top of the village, giving everything a soft flow. “Secret craft of Mizuho. Don’t tell anyone!”

“Oh yeah! No problem. The secret’s safe with me!”

It was really not at all a secret – people from all over Tethe’alla tried to copy the same design, but Lloyd looked so genuine about it that Sheena couldn’t help but smile. She had missed him, more than she had thought. She had to grin back at him.

“How did you find out about this anyway?”

“Oh, Zelos told me. I’m trying to find this Exsphere caravan and we ran into each other… He said he couldn’t go because he was busy. And, well.” He grinned even wider at Sheena. “A festival sounded fun! I haven’t seen you in a long while anyway.”

It really had. Lloyd was off on his Exsphere journey, and she could only imagine how tough it was by himself. Sometimes she had thought…

Nah, it was stupid. She had a village to run anyway. People needed her. Lloyd wouldn’t want someone like her along anyway.

“Well, you came at the best time! Bet you haven’t tried kingyo-sukui before, have you?” She waved Lloyd over to the nearest stall. “It’s more of a kid’s game, but it’s tougher than it looks!”

“Kin ga what?” Lloyd blinked, but followed her along with complete trust. “How do you win at it?”

“Sorry. It’s goldfish scooping! Here, I’ll show you!”

Lloyd was already very eager to try, and the moment Sheena had the paper scoop in hand, Lloyd was already grabbing his own. He had gone through ten of them by the time he finally got one in his bowl, breaking each of them completely. But he had been as wide-eyed and excited as the numerous little kids at the stall. Sheena also made sure that Lloyd didn’t have to keep paying for each scoop he broke… he probably would have lost half his gald by this point. Just helping him save that made Sheena feel happy.

“Cool! I get to keep him?” Lloyd held up the clear bag with his tiny goldfish to his face. The way it warped his eye and mouth, while the goldfish swam through the water, made Sheena laugh loudly. Lloyd noticed and stuck out his tongue, making it even more silly.

“S-stop! And yes, you can keep him! Although bringing him on your journey might be hard.”

“Oh, right.” Lloyd considered, then handed the bag to Sheena proudly. “Maybe you can take him for me? Or is that too much? You probably got a bunch of goldfish already!”

Sheena had none at all – the game was meant for kids and a Chief should just be doing Chief things! Although, seeing Lloyd offer it to her, she took the bag gladly. It felt like a gift, in a way. “Well, I guess I can make some room for him. But you have to remember to visit him often!”

She didn’t actually expect Lloyd to agree to that. He was on an important journey after all, set on completing it. But he nodded anyway. “Yeah, of course!” Then his stomach growled. “Uh.”

Sheena snickered. “Okay, let’s get some food in you first.” She would have to leave Lloyd to put away the goldfish, and she didn’t want to just yet. It would be safe in its temporary home for now anyway. “Ever had yakitori? You’ll like that one, I bet.”

And, of course, Lloyd ate whatever was handed to him, probably stuffing down more than what some stall owners were expecting. She caught a few eyes gazing at her, silently pleading with her to not let this strange boy in red drain out their stock. But she could let it slide for now, make up for it later. Lloyd had probably been tired from his journey and deserved what he could get!

By the end of the feast, they were seated by the moat that circled around the Chief’s home – or her home to be exact. Still holding the goldfish bag in one hand, and a cup of sake in the other, she then handed that one to Lloyd – being careful not to mix up the two. That would have been embarrassing… “Here. Best way to wash all that food down!”

“Hey, what’s this?” Lloyd took, seated cross-legged on the ground. On the water, small papers folded like sailboats glided on the water. Both children and adults were setting them there, all while Sheena had briefly explained the tradition; to wish good fortune for the coming year. She wanted to help him make one – she knew he could do it pretty well with his artistic talents, but, maybe that was a step too far. Couples usually did that together, and well, that’s not what they were anyway.

She shook away that thought, and smiled. “It’s sake! You’ll like the stuff.” After all, his dad was a dwarf! And dwarves made their own alcohol called mead, which from what she gathered, was usually much stronger. Sake should be easy for Lloyd. “And if you don’t, I’m clobbering ya,” she said jokingly, clenching her free hand.

Lloyd laughed at that. “Okay, okay! I’ll try this… sah-kay? This cup’s kinda small though and I’m really thirsty!”

He was about to take a sip, but then stopped himself. Ah, maybe he wasn’t actually into it?

“Hey, Sheena,” he said, turning to her again. “This was really fun. I’m glad I got to come by! You’re always really busy so I figured maybe this time…”

“You’re welcome here whenever, Lloyd! I’m, um, not always that busy!” She was sort of half-lying but not like Lloyd could notice. She nudged his arm. “Hurry and drink up. No need to get sappy at me!”

Even though she did like that, quite a lot.

“Yeah, just the last month’s been kinda tough and-” Lloyd shook his head. “Anyway! Thanks!” By then, he had already begun to sip.

She thought on what he said for a moment, but Lloyd probably hadn’t meant to get too serious, so she went past it. “I can get some more. There’s a few different types actually if you wanted-”

Then Lloyd fell flat on his face.

“Wh-” Sheena blinked. Then again. And then just stared. Oh. Oh what. Oh, he wasn’t moving. “L-Lloyd!”

Then his body started to nearly roll off straight into the water.

“No! Stop it!” she yelled as if yelling ever did anything for her. Grabbing Lloyd by the shoulders while still holding onto the goldfish, she lifted him up easily. Okay, he was still breathing, but also not really responding to anything. His eyes were shut, and his face was a bit red. Oh no, what if it was something he ate? Was he poisoned? Who would do that here?

If only she hadn’t been slacking off as Chief, she could have prevented this.

Ignoring some of the surprised looks from nearby villagers, she called out to Orochi. He always re-appeared at her side when she needed him. “Here, help me get him inside. Get the medicines out. We need to find an antidote quick!”

“Sheena.” Orochi looked to the boy curiously, though didn’t stall, already grabbing his other shoulder.

“Come on, we need to hurry!” She was trying her best to not lose her cool as they opened the sliding door to her room, but she couldn’t bear to lose Lloyd. Not after everything. She’d inspect every food barrel they had here and find the source. Maybe it was sabotage – there had been mutterings of people who hated Tethe’alla and were forming a group. Maybe they saw Lloyd had been coming here in advance? She needed to gather all her sources for this.

“Sheena,” again, Orochi said, laying Lloyd on a cot.

“Get the local healer. I know it’s usually her time off but I really need her salves for this. And tell Sakuya to travel to Meltokio so we can see whose been on the roads-”

“Sheena.” Orochi said hard, his hands still, his entire body still.

She looked to him in confusion. “What is it? Why are you wasting time?”

“Sheena, he’s just drunk.”

She paused then, and in that pause, she saw Lloyd stir and start to mumble.

“Hafta… see the doggies… ofer ther..”

Oh. He was drunk. But… he had barely taken a sip? Was he that much of a lightweight?

“I’ll go outside and tell those who saw it’s no trouble. He will need water.” Orochi stood up, making the signal for leaving. Though before he did so, he smiled. “He probably needs someone nearby as well.” Then he vanished in a puff of smoke.

Oh no, she was so stupid.

Sheena tried to not think about that so much, finally remembering the goldfish in hand, and getting a nearby bowl to put it in. She had some flakes to give it, but later. Because right now, Lloyd was trying to sit up, and also get up, and also tried to stumble into her door where the paper covering would definitely not hold his weight.

“Sit back down already!” She pulled him near, hands gripping his arms. His body went limp in her touch, leaning against her, his head tilted. He was smiling still.

“Thers a lotta doggies here.. like.. here..?” He pointed at the corner, where a painting of well, a wolf was set in the background of her room.

“Yes, Lloyd. That’s a doggy..” She rubbed his arms, maybe lingering too much. “Go and sleep.”

“Ish a lot! An alsho scary snake?” He pointed above at a divider, its surface painted over with a dragon. “Shnakes are… bad..”

“Okay, yeah, I got it.” It was.. kinda cute how he kept rambling. But she felt weird for still holding him like this. So she tried to get him laying down again.

“And Sheena is!” Lloyd proclaimed and not following up for a while. Like he was thinking on it. This pulled at her patience a little. She was what? Just spill it!

“You need to sleep now.” She then forced him down, hands on his shoulders, half over him. She got a better look at his face, his eyes soft, his hair a little messy from his sudden falling. He was still smiling a lot too. Oh, she was way too close to him. Don’t do this when he was drunk! Don’t do it at all!

“Sheena is… good..” He muttered, half-closing his eyes. “Miss..”

She lifted away slightly, kneeling beside him. She moved a loose hair strand around her ear. “Um, I missed you too,” she said softly, feeling stupid. Was that what he meant?

“Really like her..” Lloyd shifted to his side, to get comfortable. Or maybe to see her better? No, that was also really stupid. “Really.. huh..”

His voice was slowing more, which worried her. He was just drunk, but still.. “Hey, you okay?” She held out a hand to him, then stopped. Too far. Don’t do that.

But Lloyd reached out to it. His Exsphere winked in the light. He brought her hand close to him, just near his face.

Sheena’s face was heated to an extreme.

“Like… I like.. Sheena…” Then he fell asleep, still holding her hand. He held it so tightly, too.

She could still easily leave his grip. Just a quick bend of her wrist and she would be free. But she felt his even breathing near her knuckles. He shifted even closer to her.

She had placed his goldfish in the bowl on a nearby dresser, swimming calmly through its small home. She wasn’t as contained as it was. She could leave at any time.

“I like you, too,” she whispered.

Sheena stayed by Lloyd’s side, watching him sleep.

By morning, she was frustrated.

Some of the paper lanterns had broken, their shells caught on the roofs of nearby homes, and the small boats still lagged in the water, filling it up with trash. It would be a pain to clean up. That and half the stalls had not been taken down yet. There were supposed to be gone by late midnight yesterday!

Also, once Lloyd woke up, he hadn’t mentioned anything about what he said last night.

“Ow… why does my head hurt so much? That was really weird water you gave me…” He was rubbing it as he walked through Mizuho with Sheena one last time. Then he would be gone, for who knows how long. “How come I want to drink it again though?”

“I don’t think you should,” she said, voice hard.

Lloyd blinked at her tone. She saw hurt flash through his face, soon covered up by confusion. “Uh, okay. Well, you gave it to me!”

“Believe me, I know.”

She didn’t mean to have this grumpy attitude, but what was she supposed to do now? If Lloyd had felt that way about her… if he even actually meant what he said!

He probably hadn’t meant it at all. Lloyd sometimes just… said things, didn’t he?

He was patting his jacket, looking for something. “Agh, did I lose my wing pack? I didn’t drop it in the river or something…”

Waiting around was so stupid. Didn’t Zelos say to just go ahead and say what you want? Apparently Lloyd did! But only when he was drunk!

He noticed her frown, because she was definitely frowning. A lot. “Sheena, did I say something wrong?” He blinked. “Or.. be stupid? I didn’t mean to eat that much stuff yesterday! Just, you know..”

Agh, why did she have to point this out?

“I like you too, Lloyd!” she shouted. They were just outside the village. There were probably eyes watching them. They always were. That’s what living in Mizuho was like. She was used to it. But the only eyes that mattered were Lloyd’s.

He stared at her. “I-”

“So don’t just go spouting out you like me too for no real reason! Was that supposed to be funny?” But it was her fault. She made him drink the dumb stuff. “I’m an idiot.”

“Sheena?”

“Never mind. Just… have a safe trip.” Ugh, she couldn’t even confess right. What was she doing?

A pair of arms encircled her suddenly. She stiffened, ready to break out. Only Zelos did this, and he did it to be annoying and invasive. But the scent was different.

“I.. don’t remember when I said that. I wish I did.” A pause. “I like you though. Um. That’s why I came here, you know.”

Oh, she was really stupid.

“Er, did you hear me?”

She shook her head, then nodded her head. Ah, what was the right answer?! Maybe she should hug back? Okay, maybe. So she did.

She leaned into his touch, like before, when he was holding her hand tight.

Then she decided to kiss him. Wait, that was too far!

“Mmf?!” Lloyd’s voice was muffled, not exactly expecting the sudden and fierce kiss she gave him. She stepped back immediately, putting her face in her hands.

“Agh, why am I so bad at this?”

“Huh? T-that wasn’t bad! That was really nice, actually!” He laughed a little. “I mean, I’ve not done that before so…”

She didn’t want to look at him. She needed to find another pit to fall in.

“Is it okay if we try it again maybe?”

Oh wow, she definitely needed to find a pit fast. She couldn’t do that again! No way!

But Lloyd was there, holding her face in his hands, looking nervous also. He leaned in, kissing her lightly. It was nice, nicer than she thought. She melted into it quickly.

She stepped back again and (kinda) lightly punched him in the shoulder.

“Ow!” Lloyd rubbed the affected shoulder. “That hurt a little!”

“W-well, maybe do that kind of stuff sooner!” Sheena took a deep breath, turning away for a moment. “But… thanks.”

Anyone else would have probably complained even more – even Zelos – at her reaction. But Lloyd just laughed. Not at her either. It was nice and innocent, with no bitterness to it, like she would expect from others. But Lloyd was not like other people at all.

“You’re welcome, I guess.” Then, very lightly, hands placed themselves on her shoulders. She leaned back against him, wanting to be selfish. “I’m glad I got to see you again. Really.”

“Yeah, I know.” She could feel how red her face was, and not from any drinks. “M-me, too… Do you have to go now?”

Sometimes she could feel Lloyd think about things, imagining his expression. Only this time, his face was near hers, his breath blowing against her hair that gave her shivers she felt a little guilty thinking on. “Hm, I guess not right now... I still have time. But it’s been hard doing stuff on my own lately, you know…”

She thought back to the impulsive gift Lloyd had given her, the goldfish still swimming in its bowl, needing to be where it was. She felt the same sometimes.

But… Orochi had been doing such good work lately. Maybe he could take over, for a little bit.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she told him, before turning around to give him a hug.

As a Chief of Mizuho, she needed to help people. And those people didn’t have to be from Mizuho itself…

[fanfic-inator795]

Lego Batman Oneshot: Thanksgiving With the Rogues

Just some cute holiday Batfam + rogues stuff I wanted to write for the occasion. Enjoy! ^v^

With how good of a chef Alfred was, having a kitchen or a dining room (or even a whole house) filled with good smells was pretty common at Wayne Manor. But today, the smells were especially delicious. And the dishes themselves looked pretty good too!

“You sure you aren’t making too much, Grandpa?” Dick asked as he leaned on the counter, taking a moment to rest (Alfred insisted on doing most of the cooking, but he still let the boy help with dishes and other small tasks). From what he could see so far, their plates would have a hard time fitting in-between all the various meats and side dishes! 

But the old butler just gave him a warm smile. “Better to have too much than too little, Master Dick.”

“Yeah, what Alfred said,” Bruce agreed as he stepped into the kitchen, dropping off the glass he had been drinking from, “And remember, Babs and Jim are coming over too, so it’s not like it’s just going to be the three of us eating.”

“Heh, yeah, I know,” Dick nodded, glancing over at the billionaire. Honestly, he had gotten so used to seeing his father in either his bat suit or his house robe, it was sort of strange to see him in something fairly casual but still nice. A light blue dress shirt with a dark blue jacket and black pants. There was most likely a tie to go with it too, but Bruce would probably put it on later. As for Dick himself, he had chosen a more festive look, putting on an orange sweater with a red and yellow leaf pattern on it. (Tis the season, after all!)

Alfred hummed, taking a moment to place a pot of stuffing back on the stove top before turning back to his masters. “You know... It really is nice to have people over for a holiday meal again, isn’t it?”

“Hmph, yeah, I guess,” Bruce shrugged, though even the usually stern Dark Knight couldn’t hide the small smile on his face. Just another not-so-bad change that came with having a real family and friends, it would seem. 

“Gosh, if this is what Thanksgiving is like here, I can’t WAIT for Christmas!” Dick explained, giving a small cheer. He could already imagine all the decorations and lights and presents and-!

“Uh, well, actually I’m Jewish so, yeahhh, don’t really have a lot of experience with Christmas,” Bruce admitted, “Or, you know, any super-happy holiday stuff, really. But uh, hey! Doesn’t mean we can’t still try to do it just for you! You know, just as long as it’s not TOO cheerful and stuff. Ugh.” He could still remember the time Clark insisted on having him over for the holidays in Smallville. Waaaaay too sappy.

The boy giggled a bit. “Heh, alright, we’ll just have a Batman-style Christmas! And a Batman-style Hanukkah too, Padre, if you want!”

“Heh, yeah, sure,” Bruce nodded, “Why not?” If it made his son happy, then maybe he could take a small break from vigilante work and do some more holiday stuff, just for a little bit.   

“...Hmmm, that’s strange...”

“Huh? What’s wrong, Grandpa?” Dick asked.

Alfred made a face as he continued to search the fridge. “I could’ve sworn that I left a pie in here yesterday. It was the last thing I made before heading to bed...”

Bruce’s eyes widened, and suddenly he seemed very interested in the random kitchen utensils hanging on the wall. “Yeah well, you know what they say, Alfred. Gotham’s a mysterious place. Full of criminals too. Mysterious and crime-ridden. Yep, that’s Gotham alright. Really, I would’ve been more surprised if your pie HADN’T disappeared. So, yeah.”

“...Uh huh,” Alfred said flatly. Sure, a mysterious, crime-ridden place with a certain bat-themed hero that liked to have midnight snacks. “Oh well, I suppose store bought will have to do. At least the rest of the meal will be homemade. Oh, but the stores are sure to be a mad house...” He’d be lucky to get home within a few hours with all the traffic and last minute shoppers. 

But before he could even move to turn off his oven, Dick hopped up, waving his hand. “Ooh! I can go get it for you, Grandpa!”

 Alfred blinked. “Are you sure, Master Dick? Really, it’s no troubl-”

“Yeah, it’s fine!” the boy wonder insisted, “Besides, I want to see if I can get a closer look at some of the parade while I’m there!” (Thank goodness the Joker’s parade with the laughing gas-filled balloons and the Prince music hadn’t discouraged Gotham City from continuing to have parades.)

Alfred still didn’t quite approve, but gave a nod anyway. “Well, alright. If you’re sure...” 

“Just don’t take too long, okay kid?” Bruce added as he handed him his platinum credit card, “We wouldn’t want you to miss dinner just cause you were out getting dessert.”

“Heh, don’t worry, dad,” Dick insisted, even giving a quick and confident salute, “I’ll be back before you can say ‘holy cranberries’!” And with that, he ran off - though he didn’t head towards the front door. He had a fast and easy way to get to Downtown Gotham - much faster than any limo or bus ride - but in order to use it, first he would need a quick change of clothes...

Soon enough, Robin was soaring through the skies on his Bird-hovercycle, flying past the skyscrapers of Gotham and grinning all the way! Dipping down a bit, he flew along the Thanksgiving parade route as well, waving at the citizens below as well as ooh-ing and aww-ing at all the balloons and floats (most of which had been imported from Cloud Coocoo Land itself, making them even more creative and visually amazing) just like the rest of them. 

Eventually though, he did have to turn onto another street, one consisting of smaller, more local shops - including one of Gotham’s best bakeries. But, just as Alfred had warned, even a smaller street was still fairly busy on a holiday. 

“Good thing this bike is pretty small,” Robin mumbled as he landed, parking his cycle between two cars. Once that was done, he hopped off and started heading towards the bakery with a skip in his step.

...Of course, with a bike as unique as a Bird-Hovercycle, it didn’t take long for certain others to take notice of it... 

There was a hum as a purple suited figure stepped out of a nearby alleyway and towards the bike. “Well well, what do you know?” he grinned, giggling as he clacked his hands together, “Looks like we won’t have to go all the way to Wayne Manor after all, huh guys? Talk about a lucky break!” His ‘friends’ cackled behind him, and with a single gesture,  they were all suddenly on the move.

And the Boy Wonder had no idea... 

“You’re in luck, it looks like this is our last one!”

“Gosh, guess I was just in time, huh?”

“Guess so!” With a smile, the cashier handed Robin the boxed-up pie, and in return the young hero tried to hand her the credit card, but it was refused. “It’s on the house! It’s the least I can do for one of our cities greatest heroes!”

Robin couldn’t help but grin at that, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “Gee, thanks so much! ...Say, you wouldn’t happen to have some string or a ribbon or something in the back, would you?” Flying a hoverbike at nearly 100 MPH was hard enough at times, but Robin wasn’t sure if he could do it while also trying to hold onto a pie. 

“Hmm, I think we may have a delivery bag in the back that you could borrow. Let me go check.”

“Thanks!” Glancing away for a moment, Robin examined the pie. Maybe it wasn’t one of Alfred’s, but it still looked pretty yummy! Creamy pumpkin, a bit of light whipped cream, perfectly cooked crust with no burnt bits in sight - it was sure to be a great way to end their meal. “...Hmm, maybe I should pick up some ice cream too...” Pie and ice cream was a good combo, right?

“Here ya go, sweetie!” a new voice suddenly said, bringing Robin’s attention back to the counter. The cashier (wasn’t her hair in a bun instead of pigtails just a moment ago?) practically shoved the tote bag in his face, holding it by the opening of the bag itself rather than its straps. “This should work just fine, don’t ya think?” 

“Oh! Uh, yeah, s-sure! Um, thanks again, miss.”

“Oh, any time~” The cashier gave a grin (she seemed a lot more smiley now too, now that Robin thought about it), and Robin took the bag.

“Alright, well... Happy Thanksgiv-” He opened the tote bag, and- *POOF!* A cloud of gas emerged from it, completely covering his face. Robin coughed, trying to close the bag, but it was too late. He could feel himself getting sleepier and sleepier, soon falling to his knees. “N-No...” And as his senses began to fade, he could hear not one but TWO familiar laughs behind him...

“Haha! Sweet dreams, Bird Boy! Hehehe~”

()()()()()()()()

“...No no, that’s wrong...! ...I told you, the vegetables go over there...” “Oh what does it matter...?” “Okay, who’s the wise guy switched the labels on the salt and pepper shakers?!” “Hehe, guilty!” “Ugh, condiments shouldn’t be messed with, Joker!” “Oh lighten up, CK!”

“Ugh... W-wha...?”

“Hey, guys! Look, he’s wakin’ up!” he heard the cashier - no, NOT the cashier, Harley Quinn - say. He could start to hear other rogues too, murmuring in excitement.

“Well it’s about time! I was starting to think our lunch would end up going cold!” Slowly, the Boy Wonder started to open his eyes - and all he could see was a white, grinning face with red lips and bright green hair.

“Hey there, kiddo!” the Joker greeted, “How’s it going? Nothing like a nice sleeping gas-induced nap before a meal, huh?”

“J-Joker? Joker!” Almost instantly, Robin was on his feet and in a fighting position, giving his head a bit of shake to get rid of any sleepiness he might have had left before giving the clown a glare. “What am I doing here? Why did you captur-” 

The boy stopped, glancing down at himself for a moment as he realized something. Technically, he hadn’t been captured. He wasn’t in a cage or a cell. Heck, they didn’t even tie him up! He had just been able to hop right out of his chair! “...W-Why did you bring me here?” he asked, correcting himself.

The Joker gaped at him. “Silly boy, do you even need to ask? We brought you here for a holiday meal, duh! Why else?” 

Before Robin could say anymore, Joker stepped aside, allowing the rest of the scene to become clear. Just a couple feet in front of them was a long dining room table, filled to brim with not just food but also villains. 

All of their rogues from the A-list to the D-list were sitting there, with most of them having a happy and relaxed smile on their face. Some of them were already making light dinner (or rather, lunch) conversations while others were simply eyeing all the dishes, eager to start eating. There were no weapons, no traps, no stolen goods. Just a regular old Thanksgiving meal - just with a few not-so-regular side dishes included, like raw meat for Killer Croc and a couple bowls of oranges for Man-Bat.

“...Oh.” Whether it was from surprise or simply the lack of danger, Robin sat back down in his chair, and stared at them all.

“You really can’t blame us from using other means of ‘inviting’ you, kid,” Two-Face said, with several other villains nodding in agreement.

“Maybe if you and Batman actually accepted invitations that weren’t part of some criminal scheme every once in a while,” Catwoman added, “Honestly, it’s more your fault than ours.”

“So, wait... You guys just wanted to have a Thanksgiving meal with us?” Robin asked, raising an eyebrow. Sure, a lot of these guys weren’t too bad when they weren’t in the middle of a crime, but still. This was pretty surprising and strange, even for them. 

But Joker just continued to smile, giving the boy a nod. “Yyyyep!”

“...” Glancing down at all the food now, Robin gave a small scowl. “And this isn’t just a trick, just to try and poison me or something?”

“Kid, you were just unconscious. For like, an hour!” Joker told him, crossing his arms, “If we wanted to kill you, you’d be dead by now. Besides, poisoning someone is such a lame way to kill someone. It’s just so... underwhelming!” Several more villains agreed with him on that. “Trust us, everything here is completely edible! ...Well, just as long as you consider tofu turkey edible. Ozzie over there won’t let us have the real stuff.”

The Penguin gave a confirming “Wenk!” at that while his ‘guests of honor’ (a small flock of turkeys that sat around him) continued to innocently gobble and look around, safe and alive for one more year, at least.

“But... Why?” Robin asked, more curious than confused. 

Thankfully, when it came to the adorable Boy Wonder, the villains were actually a pretty patient bunch. “Yeah yeah, we know that we’d usually do something big on the holidays,” Poison Ivy began to say, “And just between you and us, some of us actually DO have some pretty big schemes in mind for Christmas and New Years that are just going to be a hoot!”

“I’ve even got something planned for Black Friday!” Calendar Man spoke up, “Which, that starts so early that it’s like still doing a crime on Thanksgiving!”

“So yeah, we’re definitely not above causing havoc and trying to destroy the holidays,” Joker said proudly, “But this year, well...” His normally manic smile softened a bit as he remembered... “Let’s just say quite a few of us have a lot to be thankful for this year, and a lot of that is (surprisingly) because of you and Batman. So, why not take a moment to celebrate it?”

“...Yeah,” Robin nodded, finally starting to smile a bit as well, “Why not?”

“Heh, well, with all that settled-” Joker turned back towards the table, “I think it’s about time we get this meal started already! Just as soon as Batman gets here, we’ll-!”

From above, they heard one of the old window break, a dark figure smashing through them. Speak of the Bat and he shall appear, it would seem.

Landing perfectly between Robin and the Joker (though only facing towards the latter) with a deep scowl on his face, Batman narrowed his eyes. “Alright, Joker, where is he? And I swear, if you’ve hurt him at all-!”

“I’m over here, Batdad!” Robin spoke up, giving a small wave.

Batman spun around. “Robin!” He quickly looked the boy over, only daring to look relived once he was sure that his son was unharmed. “Good, you’ve already untied yourself. Come on, let’s kick their butts-!”

“Not this time, my dear enemy,” Joker told him, smirking at Batman a bit while Bane brought over a second chair, placing it next to Robin. 

“You-! ...Wait, what?”

“We’ll explain it to you later,” the clown prince of crime insisted, “But for now, let’s just start eating already, before we all starve! Come on, I’ll even let you care the tofu turkey!” 

“...” The Dark Knight looked at the Joker, then at the table full of food, and then back at the Joke, giving a flat lookr. “...It’s poisoned, isn’t it-?”

“What is with you guys and poison?!” Joker snapped, scowling now, “Seriously, poisoning someone’s meal is the most BORING way to kill a person! You’re just sitting there and waiting! Where’s the fun in that?!”

“Trust me, Padre, it’s not poisoned,” Robin added, giving his father a confident smile. 

Batman hummed, his eyes still narrowed. Of course, he still wasn’t totally sure about all of this. However, he did decide to at least sit down (for now). And with that, the first ever Rogue/Hero Thanksgiving Lunch began.

In some ways, it was about as chaotic as Batman thought it would be. There were small arguments between some of the villains, dishes were being practically thrown across the table rather than simply passed (which of course led to a couple food fights, though at least the Dynamic Duo had enough battle skills to handle those), and more than a few annoying Thanksgiving themed jokes and riddles were told by Joker and Riddler respectively.

But, in other ways... It wasn’t too bad. While sitting at the long table, enjoying their food and not having to worry about being arrested or antagonized, the infamous rogues barely seemed like rogues at all. They just talked, and ate, and played around with each other. Quite a few of the villains even asked Robin how he was doing in things like school and his training (things that the young hero was very eager to talk about) as if they were his long-lost crazy aunts and uncles.

In fact... In a strange way, they really were sort of like another family to Batman. A weird, destructive, VERY quirky one (then again, he wasn’t exactly ‘normal’ himself), but a semi-family unit nonetheless. 

And hey, if the occasional bites he took from the food was any consolation, they weren’t bad cooks either. 

But as admittedly nice as it all was, it wasn’t to last. Not when there was still another Thanksgiving meal to get to. So as soon as things began to wind down and the desserts had nearly been finished off, Batman stood up from his seat.

“Alright well, this has been nice but, we probably should get going,” he said, “But uh, thanks for, you know, not trying to kill us for once.”

“Yeah!” Robin added, giving them all a cheerful smile as he jumped to his feet, “This was great! Thanks so much for the food! It’s too bad we can’t stay a bit longer, but-” He gave a small gasp, suddenly remembering. “Oh, wait! My pie! Hey, when you guys kidnapped me, did any of you see a-?”

“Wait, you mean a pumpkin pie with whipped cream on it?” Joker asked, standing up as well, “You mean that WASN’T for us to eat? Oh well, too bad!”

“What?!” In an instant, the boy looked practically heartbroken. Sniffling slightly, he glanced down at his feet, hoping that Alfred wouldn’t be too disappointed.

The Joker winced. “Oh geez, don’t cry, kiddo! I was just kidding! Here-” Reaching behind his back and pulling it out of seemingly nowhere, the clown revealed the pie, safe and uneaten.

At that, Robin immediately went from sad to happy once more. “Thanks, Mr. Joker!”

“Yeah yeah,” Joker mumbled, chuckling slightly as he handed him the dessert, “Man, someone ought to get those sad puppy-dog eyes of yours classified as weapons...” 

“Heh, tell me about it,” Batman smirked. Robin just continued to smile, holding the dessert box close to him. “...So hey, don’t think that any of this will make us think twice about chasing after any of you. Got it?”

Joker gave him a toothy grin. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, greatest enemy.”

“Cool,” the hero nodded, “So, yeah, happy Thanksgiving, Joker.”

The gesture was nice, but the clown didn’t give one in return. Instead, he raised an eyebrow. “Um, Batsy? Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“...” Batman sighed (or maybe it was more of a groan), but he still forced himself to say it. “I hate you.”

Joker’s smile, a softer one this time, quickly returned. “Hate you too, Bats. Happy Thanksgiving.”

()()()()()()()()()()

As it was to be expected, thanksgiving dinner at Wayne Manor was just as enjoyable (if not more enjoyable) as the one at the Joker’s hideout. The meal was cooked to perfection, the Gordons were enjoyable to talk to, and - as Alfred made sure to point out - the pie really was a perfect end to their meal despite it being from a store. 

At some point though, between the moving from the dining room to a more comfortable sitting area and opening of another bottle of fancy wine, Dick disappeared from the family scene.

“Hmph, usually I’m the one who disappears,” Bruce mumbled as he walked down the hall. He had excused himself to go look for the boy, though it didn’t take him long to figure out where Dick had gone, thanks to a slight breeze in one of the east halls. 

Opening the glass door, the billionaire stepped out onto the balcony. From the light of the full moon above as well as the small lights lit along the side of the manor, he could easily spot his son sitting on the edge of the railing. Had he been any other child and not a super talented kid-acrobat, Bruce would’ve been concerned. But Dick was indeed a super talented kid-acrobat, so instead he simply joined him on the edge.

Dick gave a small yawn before smiling over at him. “Hey Dad...”

“Hey kid,” Bruce nodded, “You didn’t eat too much, did you?”

“Nah, just sorta sleepy. Though the air would wake me up,” Dick explained, leaning slightly on his father as he did so. 

“Makes sense.” Using a free arm, he gently ruffled Dick’s hair before resting a hand on the boy’s shoulders. 

Smiling a bit more now, Dick closed his eyes, just for a moment. “Today was a good day... A good Thanksgiving...”

“Heh, yeah. I mean, the whole kidnapping-invite to a villain lunch was a bit of a surprise but, yeah, still pretty good.”

“Yep,” the boy nodded, yawning again, “And, and then we got to have another family meal here at the manor. A meal for our normal sides, and our superhero sides.” Considering that, not too long ago, neither of them would’ve had any family-filled holiday meals, two of them in the same day really was a nice thought. “...Hey Padre?”

“Yeah?” Dick didn’t answer right away. Instead, he moved closer, giving Bruce a tight hug before continue. “...I’m really glad that I’m able to celebrate the holidays with you, and Alfred, and everyone. Really glad...” 

“...” Slowly, Bruce returned the hug, smiling despite the slight ache in his heart.  “Yeah... Me too, mi hijo. Me too.” Maybe his parents could never share another holiday with him, but he still had the next best thing, and that was more than enough..

The two hugged for a bit longer before letting go. Once they hopped off the balcony railing, it was only then that they noticed another person had joined them outside. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, Sirs,” Alfred began to say, “But I just wanted to let you both know that Miss Barbara and Former Commisioner Gordon were forced to leave early.”

Dick straightened up a bit at that, looking a bit more awake now. “Really? Why?”

“Well, I didn’t get all the details but, I believe it was mainly because of a recently reported incident from downtown,” Alfred continued, “Something about... Calendar Man using remote controlled shopping carts to steal products and terrorize Black Friday shoppers?” 

“...” Slowly, the Dynamic Duo turned towards each other. Bruce gave his son a bit of a look, but Dick just smiled, looking as determined as ever. And once he saw that, Bruce returned the smile. “Actually Alfred, I think we may head out and do some ‘shopping’ too.” 

“Very well,” Alfred nodded, stepping aside and silently wishing them luck, “I’ll be sure to leave out some leftovers in case either of you are hungry afterwards.”

“Thanks Grandpa!” Dick called back at him as he and Bruce ran inside, more than ready for the end of their Thanksgiving and the exciting start of their nightly superhero activities.

After all, what was a holiday in Gotham without a super villain fight?

THE END