#i think about little Chuuya a lot...the life he lived or could've lived

[petitesmafia]

hc I just think little Chuuya used to like flipping through his father’s medical texts (pretending he understood them) and helping out at the clinic bc he liked watching his father work,,,

(years later, Doc notes how impressive it is that Chuuya’s able to pick up on medical terminology and information so quickly. as if he’s familiar. Chuuya just brushed it off; for the longest time, he couldn’t remember how he knew and just chalked it up to Doc’s influence.)

(like once, after Doc bandaged him up, he asked Chuuya to pass him a surgical tool without clarifying and Chuuya handed it over without hesitation.

“Can you pass me the Adson forceps? they’re the ones by the—,” Doc said, voice trailing off when he saw Chuuya handing him the correct pair.

“Are these not it?”

“No, they are…how did you know that?”

Chuuya blinked. “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I must’ve heard you call them that before.”

“Hm,” Doc replied. “How interesting.”)

(a year after that, as Chuuya stands surveilling a quiet wooden building and its inhabitants— a physician and his wife— Chuuya wonders if that was the answer he was missing.)

[a-random-weeb]

hi could I request a “bsd/Genshin impact men when their s/o flinches in an argument?” Thanks!!!!!

Absolutely! I don't know too much about genshin impact but I know enough. Just sorry if the characters are a little ooc.

I didn't know if you wanted oneshots or headcannons, so I did what I wanted to for each character. If you want me to redo one in a certain way feel free to ask :)

Characters: dazai, Chuuya, Diluc

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Dazai:

All that can be heard are the sounds of yelling and screaming. Dazai came home, teasing you and being more annoying then normal, and it didn't help that you had a bad day. You kept telling him to leave you alone but he wouldn't, so you snapped and yelled at him, and so, an argument ensued. He's yelling at you, but it gets to the point where he actually looks scary, and so you flinch. He freezes, taking a second to process the fear in your eyes, but once he does, he pulls you to his chest, clinging to you tightly "i-im so, so, so sorry belladonna, I shouldn't have pissed you off like that after you had a bad day!" You cry into his chest and he buries his face in your hair. He picks you up and carries you to the living room where he cuddles you in the couch "I'll do better, I promise..." he whispers softly, and you both pass out on the couch.

✧˖°♡✧˖°♡✧˖°♡✧˖°♡✧˖°♡✧˖°♡✧˖°♡✧˖°♡✧˖°♡✧

Chuuya:

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU TRY TO COOK?! YOU BURNT YOURSELF, YOU COULD'VE BURNT THE GODDAMN HOUSE DOWN!!" He screamed.

"I-Im sorry!" You choke out, but feeling your own anger slowly bubble up inside you. That's how it started, the worst argument of your life. You too went back and worth, yelling, for at least an hour until Chuuya finally loses it completely. He smashes a glass cup on the floor and it shatters everywhere, that's when you flinch. He notices, but doesn't react and first, too caught up in this to relise how scared you were. It wasn't until you backed away did he relise he screwed up. You two stand there in silence for a good 30 seconds before he slowly reaches out to cup your face.

"I-Im sorry..." he mumbles as he begins to cry, pulling you close "It wasn't supposed to be like this, I know you were just trying to surprise me with a nice meal, even if you failed and burnt it and yourself...." he grabs a cold cloth and holds it to your burn. He spends the rest of the night tending to your burn and apologizing, and when you forgive him he cuddles you all night.

✧~°♡•✧~°♡•✧~°♡•✧~°♡•✧~°♡•✧~°♡•✧~°♡•✧

Genshin impact

Diluc:

SMASH! You knocked over some of the wine glasses at his bar while fooling around.

"You were careless!" He yells and the argument slowly escalates into something, much, much worse. Dilucs not one to scream, but at some point in the argument, he screamed at the top of his lungs "JUST SHUT UP!"

.............

A look of absolute horror crosses your face as you back away, flinching. All that can be heard is a deafening silence. You were so hurt... tears began to spill from your eyes as he stares at you in shock for a moment before to cup your face in both his hands, wiping your tears as well as mumbling apologies. You also apologize, after all, you broke a lot of glasses, it was your fault.

"It wasn't completely your fault, I lost my temper instead of helping anything..." you both clean the glass up and go home, passing out in eachothers arms.

ו~°_ו~°_ו~°_ו~°_ו~°_ו~°_ו~°_ו~°_ו~°_ו~°

I don't think I know enough about any of the other genshin men. I mean, I know kaeya too and I tried to write for him, but it turned out way to cringe and ooc, but I hope you enjoyed anyway!

[ashes--21]

Okay this actually makes sense ! And I loveeeee this take as well. I've seen so many different takes on his episode- praise and criticism, and personally I did feel like it could've been done a little differently- but in the end we WILL have to go with what asagiri decides, and I have faith in him.

From what I understand, we NEED MORE INFO. Everyone is making their own interpretations, all of which are interesting, and we just need more clarification on what actually was the case. Did dazai REALLY plan it all? Including chuuya? Or, like this person interprets it, he actually had almost nothing planned, and left it to the ADA and PM, putting his faith in his allies?

Is it just me, or they still didn't reveal exactly WHEN dazai realized that chuuya wasnt a vampire? The theories are all over the place!

1. If dazai HAD IT ALL PLANNED-then he knew about chuuya cosplaying as a vampire thing and the whole thing WAS an act, including this dialogues in 101 and 109 (which I'm personally not a fan of, it sort of cheapens it? Plus it doesn't make sense- in 101, those emotions were DEFINITELY real. And he didn't even need to act sad at that time cause Fyodor wasn't watching him! Why would he act that sad for no visible reason if he knew it was all an act? And they will escape somehow.

And to me, it seemed he was genuinely surprised when they found out Fyodor actually lived (I read the manga too) what was the point? If he had it all planned?

2. dazai actually DIDN'T have any idea that chuuya wasn't a vamp and he only found out LATER, after getting supposedly "shot".

I like this one better smh, cause then that would mean all of his emotions were real, which actually means a great deal with skk. And imagine his suprise when he found out the truth!! It would be so epic if that was the case- chuuya explaining to him the whole situation and how Mori prolly planned it (it's implied) AND BASICALLY THE WHOLE SITUATION. Then dazai could go on his big entrance and go the big reveal.

I like theory 2 better tbh, it makes more sense to me. Plus, this works in his character development too- as it won't be a "dazai always has everything planned" situation, but a "dazai trusts his allies enough to risk his life on them and their judgement" which I think is a great leap for his character.

I have more thoughts on this episode, a lot actually! I'm feeling pretty conflicted over it and all these different takes from everyone is really working my brain lol. Prolly will make another post about it later, idk tho

Just because I've seen a few people complaining about Dazai "knowing exactly what was gonna happen from the start" I just want to point something out

Dazai didn't know what was going to happen, he had 0 control over the situation, all he did was trust in Ranpo and the ADA.

The point of it all, or at least how I've interpreted it, is portraying just how much he's grown to admire and love the agency. His faith in his "allies" gave him enough confidence to let them handle it, funnily enough Dazai had barely any hand in the planning of it at all!

He put together what each person was scheming by watching the events play out, and don't forget he had Ango communicating with him all the while.

I have no issue with anybody upset over this, I just thought I'd put my take out there. I think the subtlety of Dazai's growth sometimes causes it to go unnoticed, his redemption plays out in small moments like this, hidden beneath much bigger actions.

[bsdthings]

ALSO!! If it’s not too much to ask?? Can we get Chuuya x male!Reader story based of a Halsey song?? I feel like “Is There Somewhere” would fit well for an angsty one 😼

You don’t have to do both my requests!! And as always please feel free to ask me for something in return, I need BSD requests haha

Thank you so much for the song! I love Halsey and I truly didn't know this song and it's such a shame! Honestly, I craved some angst, so really, thank you very much! It was such a pleasure writing this one

,Chuuya Nakahara

Chuuya x male!Reader

Genres: ☣️ angst ☣️, 😭sad😭

Warnings: blood, violence, illness, childhood friends, friends to lovers, heartbreak, anger, open ending

I truly hope you will enjoy this one! I admit to making it quite personal >~< btw, I'm so sorry for the long time and how hurried this probably feels T-T

There are some things in this life Chuuya truly wonders if he could have done better. They keep him awake at night don't give him any peace, ghosts of his past ready to haunt him at any given moment, make that lump of heavy guilt form at the base of his throat, suffocating. Because he knows he didn't make the best choices, he knows he should've done better in some contexts, knows he could have done better. And yet, he didn't. And he lost. Oh, he's lost so much. He's lost his friends with a betrayal in the stab of his back when he was with the Sheep. He lost many men in his years of being with the Port Mafia and will continue to lose even more of them, but somehow, he hopes to reduce the numbers, to make it as small as possible. He lost a lot. People kept on leaving him and he kept on being the second choice for so many. And as much as it hurt, to never be enough, to never be capable of being the first choice in someone's life, to never be able of making someone stay and not go...it was even more hurtful to know you could have been the first choice for someone if you would've stuck to them. If you stuck around just a bit more, knowing you were already the first choice for someone at some point and yet you dared let go.

Maybe that's the biggest problem. How does he even dare to complain about always being the second choice for the ones in his life when he, himself, has deprived his own self of being the first choice, the first go-to in someone's life. When he's let that go, when he dared to let such a precious thing go, slip right between his goddamn fingers...

How does he dare when he let go of you?

Tonight, as many other nights, it haunts him. The thought of you, of your crooked smile, of the lines forming at your sparkling eyes and the way you used to hold onto him so dearly. The days when he actually felt like your first choice. Those days he carelessly let go of without even realizing how much he's willing to lose for something so little to gain. Because as far as he's got, just as lonely he feels compared to those days when he used to feel so alive, happiness overwhelming. Yet, he feels like he took it for granted, now that he thinks about it, when he remembers those good, old days.

It's been 10 years. It feels like it's been an eternity, another life even. Those days when he used to be so happy and just lived in the moment.

If he could, he would turn back time, give all his Port Mafia years, his rank, his wealth, everything just to get to feel those moments again with you. To have you again in his life.

But he pushed you, didn't he? Now, curled up in his own bed, his red curls touching the skin of his shoulders and back, he lets the growing guilt in his gut swallow him up as he wraps his arms around his knees. How could he do that to you?

You were his first friend. Now that he thinks better of it, you're probably also the only true friend he's ever had.

It almost makes him smile, if he is to be honest. The way he could've have had everything he ever wished for yet he let it slip right between his fingers.

That's the worst feeling ever. To know you were so close to having what you want, to know you had it, to just know and yet, to let it go.

Because when he woke up existing with no memories whatsoever, with nobody to care about him, with no home nor how to make a living for himself, you were there. When he didn't feel human at all, you were there. You just were there, patient and understanding and right by his side. Because you taught him how to read and write, because you were right by his side.

And yet, when the Sheep formed, he cut every string and gone away to find meaning in his life, to find a way to support himself and not depend on you anymore for a living. Or, better said, he was quite forced to do so. Your parents despised him right from the start, found you to be too high for his low self, for a child of the streets, with nobody, with nothing, no family, no home. Your parents had bigger hopes for you, for your future, for your circle of friends, and they weren't even trying to be discreet about it, about how low they saw Chuuya.

But every living skill he had was because of you. From cooking meals together while hiding from your parents to the way he was able to pick up on books and poetry, everything he started in life with was something that connected him to you.

He thinks about you often. About the boy with a big kind smile and the warmest of hugs. About the boy with crinkling sparkles in his eyes and uncaring of the dirt and ripped clothes he owned, giving him new ones and the chance to take a bath, something so basic, so small, yet so important, with the heaviness of the whole world. He still remembers so clearly the way you grinned at even the smallest difference of height between the two of you, saying it's perfect because this way you can keep on giving him clothes and always having that warm tone when you said "Don't grow up too much, Chuu, or I won't be able to give you my clothes anymore".

It was so stupid. Yet, it meant the world to him. And he knew where you are, knew you moved to Tokyo seeking out better studies because you were so smart and indeed deserved more than his nothing ass. He knew you're doing good and knew you're achieving so much and his heart squeezed in his chest, proud of you, so proud of you, yet at the same time hurting so bad, because he's not by your side anymore, because he's not a part of your life anymore, but a mere stranger of your past with memories, not daring to enter your life again after so many years, after disappearing without a world, after just disappearing from your life. Because years passed and you're doing so good, because you're probably not even gonna come back to Yokohama anymore, because, after all, why would you even come back to this port city when you've seen the big streets of Tokyo and made friends and made a place for yourself somewhere else, somewhere where your talents will be appreciated?

It hurts. It hurts so bad to know that he could've been by your side and congratulate you on your absolving, on the take of your first job, on getting into University. Knowing he could've lived those moments with you just if he would have hold on a bit tighter instead of letting go.

His phone pings with a notification and he's almost ready to curse anyone daring to bother him at such an hour, but-

But his eyes widen as he sees your name. Y/N started following you.

It makes his heart thud. How did you find him? How could you even remember him after so many years have passed? How-

"Is there somewhere you could meet me?" he wakes up with the message from you so suddenly.

He didn't expect that, if he is to be honest. Didn't expect you to even remember him, what more to say about you even having the slightest wish of meeting with him or talking with him? After all, he left you without a word. But he can't help but cling to that small bit of hope building up within himself.

I'd come to the end of the earth just to meet you, he thinks to himself.

"I'm back in Yokohama. I know it's late, but..."

Fuck the hour, he can't help but think to himself. Honestly, as if it has any meaning when you're back, when you want to meet him. It feels like a dream, if he is to be honest.

"Where you're at? I'll come pick you up" he fastly responds to your text, his fingers trembling a bit, heart thundering in his chest.

The moment your adress is sent to him, he doesn't hesitate to hastily put on some clothes and get the keys to his bike, fastly moving through the not so busy streets of the port city to get to you.

He almost worries he didn't make it in time back to you or that it was actually just something made up by his mind when he looks around and you seem to be nowhere—

And then there's this boy, with a reserved smile and a raised hand, and he recognizes the colour of your hair, recognizes your eyes, even if more mature, recognizes you, and you've changed so much, and his heart thuds so loudly he's afraid you'll hear it too.

He doesn't even know what to say, what to do with himself, his fingers aching to touch you, to caress you, the one person who's showed him so much and gave him so much without asking for anything in exchange. The one who taught him kindness, a type of kindness he most often than not cannot show, cannot give away existing in him, not in his fielt of work.

Someone he thought he'll never have the chance to see again.

"Chuuya!" and your sparkling eyes, the way your arms suddenly wrap around him, warm and comforting and he missed it so much, the hugs, the contant, the care.

He couldn't even help himself. He couldn't hold back the way his arms wrapped tightly around you, the way fear coursed through him at the simple idea of losing you forever, of everything being nothing more but a simple play of his restless mind, of you letting go of him forever. But you were warm and solid against him. He just couldn't let go.

It's the days that follow. It's the staying at the early hours of the morning on the highest building in Yokohama, dancing to stupid music like two stupid people.

It's making memories, it's the soft admission of never being able to stay in the rain because you would oftenly catch a cold, your frail body unable to battle it with ease.

It's the wide smile, the crooked teeth, the almost slipping on wet paves and him catching you before anything could happen, his senses so used to you they become reflexes. The reflex of catching you.

It's the falling, the shocked giggles when Chuuya admits to being able to control gravity and the way you scream of being like Peter Pan as he lets you float, for once in your life feeling weightless.

It's the stupid bento box you run through literal storm to deliver to him because he might be hungry.

They all catch up to him and he cannot help the heaviness in his heart as the memories tumble in one after another.

"Why did you come to Yokohama?"

It's the small tattoos you two decided to share on your wrists, matching and now making him feel heavier than he's ever felt, his hand clutching yours, way too pale, the other moving gentle fingers through your messy hair.

"I wanted to see you before my time ended"

It seemed ridiculous to him at the time. Ridiculous to think of the deepness of those words. Ridiculous to think of a world without you, ridiculous to think your lungs might not take another breath.

It's the rage burning in his veins when you ended up in the hospital because you were robbed and fell to the ground, your frail knees unable to support your body.

It's the way he could have used his ability to wash you, yet refused to, changing bandage after bandage, warm hands making sure to scrub the sweat away.

It's the way he would clutch at your body and help you walk without putting actual weight on your feet as the wheelchair became a cage.

It's your smile that haunts him after a long day strolling through the city, cursing loudly when a car passed and sent water all over him, who instantly moved to not let it paint your clothes and ended up soaked, but unable to stop smiling when you laughed like that.

It's the mere touch of your lips over his, his heart slowing down for once, such a deep feeling of home settling into his bones.

Why is the Universe so cruel to him?

Why send you back into his life just to have him watch you like this, on the hospital bed, the life you clutched on so tightly seemingly barely in your grasp?

"Don't be ridiculous! We've got a long way to live!"

"Yeah…you're right. Let's cherish every moment, Chuuya, hm?"

His hat fell to the floor, his head bowed, cheek rubbing affectionately over your hand, which sat in his tight, desperate clutch, tears gathering into his eyes, forcing the sobs wrecking his body to silence as he bit his lips.

Is there somewhere you could meet me?