#i think MAYBE you should spend more than idk two minutes on that. also just a quibble. you’re telling me marc hid an alter

[hoakaikapo]

wanna be yours - clarisse la rue x fem! child of athena oc

A/N: this is a rush draft. i’m tired. just take it as it is. i mentally can’t fix it right now because i need sleep. also, this might be multiple parts but idk yet. okay goodnight!

warnings: implied mention of sex, kissing, fighting, teasing, uh i can’t think of anything else, but lmk if i missed any please!!

_______

It was a mutual understanding between you and Clarisse, one that neither of you spoke about. Why should anything be said when you both were tangled up in hot kisses, hands roaming throughout each other’s bodies like lost explorers whenever you saw each other. There was hardly any room for talking in your guys’ heated exchanges, and even if there was room for talking, neither of you knew how to bring it up.

However, you figured maybe something should be said sooner than later. Clarisse was starting to become more frequent with her midnight visits to your cabin, more jealous whenever someone flirted with you, more riskier in public.

In fact, just a few days ago, one of her half-siblings almost caught you two making out in her bed in broad daylight. You took it seriously, honoring the understanding you two had, whereas Clarisse muttered careless statements about being caught as she kissed your lips again.

You figured there was something there now. You had always sensed it between the stolen glances, the slight finger touches when Clarisse walked past you, the way your body simply melted into hers. The unspoken attraction was there. Maybe it was real. You could only hope it was.

A part of you started to hate running and sneaking around just to keep this “relationship” - your secret affair - a secret. But, you would tell yourself otherwise, because you never knew what was truly going on inside that beautiful head of hers.

———

Capture the flag was one of those games that you couldn’t stand to miss out on. The intensity, the atmosphere, the energy between all players. You loved the game, especially since it involved strategizing.

You lay low among the tall grass of the forest, eyes scanning your surroundings, ears listening for any sounds, the grip on your dagger was tight. Your breathing was steady, almost quiet, because you were afraid that someone could hear it.

A twig branch snaps. You bring your dagger closer to your chest, waiting to attack whoever was incoming. Your breath hitches once you noticed the red plumes emerge from behind the trees.

Stay low, be ready, attack when they’re near. That’s how you rolled.

Once they were close enough, you lunged first, making sure to tackle your opponent to the ground. However, it’s a battle of brute strength. Your opponent was resistant, determined to not lose this sort of wrestling match going on between you two.

As you’re both rolling back and forth on the ground, you feel your opponent grab your dagger and toss it somewhere out of your reach. They shift their body weight so that they’re on top of you on the ground, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head. You squirm, trying to slip out of their grip, but it’s tight and firm on you.

“You know, for a child of Athena, I was expecting a bit more of a challenge,” a husky yet familiar voice said. You could recognize that egoistic tone anywhere.

Clarisse removes her helmet, still keeping one hand on your wrists, her curls perfectly intact as if you guys didn’t just spend almost five minutes wrestling each other. She looked down and a sly smug came across her face once she realized you were the one beneath her.

“Well, hello, angel,” Clarisse says, bringing her face closer to yours. “Been avoiding me much? Haven’t seen you in this position in a while.”

You scoff. “As if I have ever been beneath you.”

“You were last week Saturday,” the Ares girl reminds you. You bite your lip, knowing it’s the truth.

An evil look is in her eyes as she guides them down your body. You feel her gaze on you, admiring you in this position. Her face mere inches away from yours once she made eye contact with you again. Clarisse’s free hand has moved to your waist, causing you to gasp slightly at the touch.

Every part in your body began to crave her, craving her lips on yours, craving her hands on your body, craving her. Your body is practically screaming for her. You could tell she felt it too. The glint in her eyes was all too familiar to you.

As Clairsse’s face slowly leans into yours, the grip on your hands begin to loosen, allowing you to slip out from under them. She’s nervous, it seems, as she hesitantly licked her lips. You wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her closer, her lips lightly grazing yours-

Your brain stops you from kissing her. In fact, it reminds you that you still have a game to win - and as much as you want to kiss the Ares girl, winning came first. Surely, she’d understand that.

You use your weight against hers, pushing her off of you and slamming her onto the ground with you now on top. The look on Clarisse’s face showed surprise before it turned into frustration.

Clarisse got teased badly by you. But, you teased yourself as well.

After grabbing two blue bands from your pocket, you tied one around each of her wrists, now implying that she was a prisoner of your team.

“Got you, La Rue,” you cheekily say, hovering your lips over hers once again.

———

Clarisse was pissed at you, maybe a bit beyond that.

The entire time at dinner, all she could do was glare at you. One of your half-siblings noticed and stated that if looks could kill, you would’ve been dead the moment you walked into the mess hall. You shook it off, pretending that the Ares girl was just mad that she was taken prisoner for the first time ever, but you knew it wasn’t entirely that.

A part of you felt guilty. Actually, no, you as a whole felt guilty for playing Clarisse like that earlier. As much as you loved your win later on, you also wanted Clarisse in that moment. If you were able to have both, you would’ve.

Later on that night, you waited outside the Ares cabin, making sure to stay hidden in case Chiron was doing rounds tonight. You sat for what seemed like forever until Clarisse finally came out.

You wasted no time. You grabbed her hand and pulled her to the side, instantly pressing a quick kiss on her lips which caught her off guard.

Clarisse’s eyes were wide in shock, trying to comprehend what just happened.

“I’m sorry, Clarisse,” you apologized, a hint of nervousness in your tone as you weren’t sure how she was going to react. “I-I shouldn’t have done that to you. It was rude, and I want you to know that… I really wanted to kiss you too, but then I reminded myself that we were in the game and I didn’t want to lose. So, I made that stupid decision, and I’m so sorry-“

Clarisse smashed her lips onto yours, causing you to stumble a little bit.

“You think too much. No wonder you’re Athena’s daughter,” she mumbled between your lips before pulling you back in.

It was like a million fireworks being set off at once. That burning feeling of desire in both of your chests was now gone. Clarisse’s hands made her way down to your waist and she held you firmly, as if she never wanted to let you go. You felt your body melt into her touch, wrapping your arms around her neck to pull you closer, even though the space between you two was already minimal enough.

You pulled apart from each other, both out of breath. Clarisse looks at you and smiles before pulling you into a warm embrace.

Despite her rough, aggressive, almost murderous side to her, Clarisse was sweet, gentle, and actually super affectionate.

This side of her was only reserved for you, and you quite liked it that way.

“Tease me like that ever again, and I’ll make sure you taste my blade,” Clarisse mutters into your ear before placing a kiss on your cheek.

“Put a single scratch and I’ll make sure that you’ll never get to see me again,” you whisper in a serious tone. “I mean it, Clarisse.”

Clarisse nods her head. You find it cute that she almost always agrees to everything you say, as if she’s a puppy.

The sound of Chiron’s hooves could be heard just around the corner. As much as you two wish you could have this moment together for just a little longer, dish and stall duty didn’t sound pleasant to either of you.

Clarisse pulls you in for another quick kiss, both on your lips and your hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow, angel.”

[tsukkisdinocollection]

hi hiraya!! im mylah, ur name sounds super cool! 😋

i would like to request romantic and fluffy moment between the reader and sugawara :)

idk if u'd like a prompt or not, but here's one if u wanna use it! : sugawara has been cramped in his room all day doing homework n studying, so the reader comes over to give him a comforting back massage and to just hang out and maybe watch a movie...?

idk! feel free to change it up or write about anything haha i just wanna read a fic about my boy 🧡 i miss him!!

Reversed Roles

⭑ Pairing : Koshi Sugawara x Reader (Romantic)

⭑ Content Warning(s) : Reader is gender-neutral with no pronouns specified, very light angst in the beginning (if you squint), swearing (it happens once), Koshi lowkey being a hypocrite, not proofread, established relationship

⭑ Word Count : 0.9k+

⭑ Synopsis : After not spending a lot of time with your boyfriend, you decide to visit him.

⭑ Author's Note : He's so underrated oh my gosh. 😭 I love him so much !! Also your name sounds very lovely as well!

The past couple of days, you haven’t been spending much time with your boyfriend, Koshi.

You don’t think you’ve done anything wrong – you’ve treated him like you have other days, with utter love and cherished him with all your heart. When you two did have time together, he has been acting the same like he always has. Besides, he would tell you if you had done something wrong, right?

It was the weekend when you decided to visit him. You carried a little basket, filled with your and his favorite snacks, as well as a couple face masks you two could try out.

The sun was beginning to set, the moon slowly replacing it as you walked over to his house. You knocked on the door lightly, being greeted by his mother.

“Oh, hello,” she said, opening the door wider. “He’s in his bedroom.”

You thanked her, before heading upstairs. You knew his place like the back of your hand from visiting his house so much. You always insisted on visiting him rather than him visiting you because your place was “so messy”. Today was not any different.

As you knocked on the door leading to his bedroom, there was no response, other than the crinkling of papers. Then, you heard a shuffling before the door opened. Koshi looked slightly more disheveled than usual, hair out of place and eyebags prominent.

“Hey…” he scratched the back of his head. “I didn’t know you were coming today.”

His voice was more hoarse than usual.

You held the basket up higher. “I wanted to surprise you today.”

He nodded, taking the basket from you with gentle hands. “Thanks. Uhm, sorry for the mess.”

He seemed exhausted, with his movements much slower than before. You sighed softly, paying no mind to the scattered papers all over his room. You turned your attention to his desk, staring at his laptop with a document opened.

“Were you in the middle of typing something?” you asked, glancing over at the lit-up screen.

“Yeah, my homework.”

“Oh,” you said, voice softening. “I should leave then, I wouldn’t want to disturb you–”

“No, it’s fine,” he replied, giving you a lop-sided smile. “You being here makes things better, anyway. Unless you don’t want to be here; it can feel kind of lonely being here while I’m just doing my homework.”

“It’s alright,” you smiled back at him, sitting down on his bed. Hands planting themselves by your sides, you looked around the room.

Just then, you heard his stomach growl. You whipped your head to him, eyebrow raising.

“You should eat. There’s a couple snacks in that basket. Your favorites.”

He thanked you, taking out a bag of chips and opening it. He popped one in his mouth before sitting down at his desk, typing away.

It was silent for a few minutes. Not an awkward one, though – a comforting one. Like those moments when you’d sleep over at his house, his arm wrapped around his waist as you two slowly fell into a deep slumber.

You noticed how he seemed to slump, attention purely on his laptop. You got up, making your way to him before stopping right behind him.

“How long have you been working on that?” you spoke quietly, as to not startle him. That failed, however, when he jumped slightly.

“A couple hours,” he responded. You pursed your lips tightly together.

“Have you taken a break?”

“Not yet.”

“You should.”

“After I work on this.”

You knew how stubborn he could be sometimes, and you didn’t press on the subject. Instead, you decided to place your hands on his shoulders, massaging them with your thumbs. He relaxed his back, and you smiled softly.

“Take a break, Koshi.”

“I still have to finish this–”

“You haven’t taken a break in so long. You deserve it. C’mon.”

You coaxed him into his bed, him lying on his stomach as you decided to try and massage his back. God only knows how long he’s spent with his back hunched over, working on that stupid assignment.

After a while, you stopped, instead laying on your back next to him. You turned your head to him, and turned to face you, a wide grin on his face.

“Thank you, dear.”

“Of course.”

A period of comforting silence fell upon you two once again before he spoke up.

“Now, I should really get back to work–”

A frown formed on your face as you took his wrist, grip gently and loosened, yet he didn’t make a move to pull away.

“Let’s watch a movie.”

“But I have work–”

“You can’t just overwork yourself and then get upset at your teammates for doing the same thing you’re doing to yourself right now,” you reasoned. That seemed to have shut him up, with how he pouted. You chuckled at the expression on his face, reaching out to give him a peck on the cheek. His pout fell, replaced with a cheesy smile.

“There’s this one movie we didn’t get to watch last time I slept over here,” you said, smirking slyly.

“You do know I purposefully avoided watching that movie because it scares the shit out of me, right?”

You nodded, smirk widening.

He scoffed before letting out a playful laugh, nudging your shoulder. “Fine. Let’s watch.”

It was ironic, really – the “mother” of Karasuno’s boys’ volleyball team being taken care of by his partner. But with how you held him in his arms as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, having just yelped from a jumpscare…

You wouldn’t have it any other way.

[cxsmiicc]

her little devil - lady lesso x reader

happy halloween yall idk wym im totally not 20 minutes late posting this shush

warnings - smut, orgasm denial, eating out, light fingering, vibrator, possessive lesso, halloween party

posted on ao3 also <3

2.2k words

-----

You picked at your chosen costume, suddenly doubting if it was the right one. The red latex clung to you in ways you were unused to and growing insecure of, neckline dipping far lower than you would usually wear and skirt stopping mid thigh. More than a little alcohol had gone into this decision. Well, too late to change now. Grabbing the headband with horns attached, you slammed out of your room before you lost your nerve, smoothing your hair around the cheap plastic as you walked down to the party. Clarissa and her damn parties, ever since the schools had merged it seemed like there was one every other week. And she just had to have the wonderful idea for a costume party, as though you didn’t have enough on your plate with classes and grading and her.

You banished those thoughts to the back of your mind, you had a party to attend after all. Of course whether or not you wanted to was a different matter, you would much rather spend tonight hiding away with a bottle and a vibrator. If you could escape early that could still work, it all depended on how fast Clarissa could corner you into taking drink after drink. For all she preached about good deeds that woman could coerce anyone into doing damn near anything with minimal effort.

Swinging the door open, you spotted her immediately. She was facing you, gesturing for you to join her and whoever it was she was talking to the second you were visible. The mystery woman turned around and your mouth fell open in shock. Lady. Fucking. Lesso. Her hair was straightened and dyed black for the night and there was a drip of blood decorating either corner of her mouth. She smirked at your reaction to her outfit and fangs became visible, successfully creating a fiery heat between your thighs. It only became worse as your eyes slid downwards to the generous amount of skin on show, matching your own outfit in everything but length. Where your dress was short and flared hers was long and fitted, flowing down and accentuating her every curve before pooling on the ground. Breaking yourself out of the haze, you made your way over to the two of them, first smiling at Clarissa before turning your attention to your boss.

“A vampire? Very appropriate Red, if I can even say that with you looking like this.”

“Seems like I should call you that tonight. Even I didn’t think to be quite so on the nose with my costume. The Evil history teacher, dressed as the devil? Somewhat obvious, don’t you think Clarissa?”

The blonde could only stare at the two of you and giggle, already too tipsy to care about pretending she couldn’t sense the tension between you and her fellow dean.

Rolling your eyes at the state of her, you turned back to Lesso to keep the conversation going, “So, what gives with you putting in effort tonight? Call me crazy but you don’t exactly strike me as the type to go all out for a work party.”

“Maybe I just felt like dressing up,” she spun where she stood, giving you a glimpse of the low back of her dress and sending a wave of arousal crashing through you, “My reasons are none of your business, though you seem to be enjoying it just the same.” A wicked grin graced her features, red lips quirking upwards as her eyes flitted across your body. “I must admit, you don’t look half bad yourself.”

“Oh? Careful Lesso, that almost sounded like a compliment. Wouldn’t want the ice queen to show emotion now would we.”

She laughed at you, low and slow and right in your ear. Right when you didn’t think it was possible to be any more turned on by this woman and she goes and does it.

“Ice queen… now that would’ve been a good costume idea.”

“Ah ah, what happened to not wanting to be too on the nose.” It was your turn to smirk as she registered what you just said, eyes darkening with what you would swear was lust if you didn’t know who you were talking to. All of a sudden you felt a tear on your costume and she was forcing you out of the room before you even knew what was happening, one hand firmly on your hip and the other on your shoulder. Everything was a blur as she guided you all the way back to your room, flashing her finger at the door to open it before you collided with the ageing wood. It was only to fling you down on the bed that she finally let go, pacing the empty space on your floor and offering no explanation for what she had just done.

“Care to tell me what that was all about?”

Rather than answering, she just stopped her pacing and crashed her bloodstained lips to yours, kissing you with a desperation you didn’t think her capable of. Just as quickly as she had started it, she pulled away, both hands buried in her hair as she resumed her pacing.

“Do you even know what you do to me.” Her voice came out low and gravelly, sending another spike to your core at both the tone and her words. “Always prancing around the school in those little outfits, it was driving me insane knowing I couldn’t just tear them off and have my way with you. And then tonight, oh tonight,” You stood, drawing closer to her as she kept ranting, too caught up in what she was saying to pay you much attention. “You thought you could just waltz into that party with that much skin on show with no consequences?” She grabbed your wrists and slammed them against the wall above your head before tracing a hand down your torso. “That teeny tiny costume, oh so low cut with a skirt that barely covers your ass. Latex? Not your best idea, my little devil.” Keeping her hold on your hands, she slid a nail down the ripped neckline of your outfit, successfully exposing your breasts to her. “It all would’ve been fine, had it not been for your wardrobe malfunction. Only I get to see that much of you, are we clear?”

All you could do was moan in response as she lavished attention on your chest, drinking in the sight of you half bare and entirely at her mercy.

“I said, are we clear.”

“Mmm, we’re clear, we're clear.”

“We’re clear mommy.”

“Yes mommy, you’re the only one allowed to see me like this.”

“Good, now help me take the rest of this off. Latex is a bitch to sweat in, and I'm guessing someone’s more than a little bit worked up right about now.”

She released her hold on your wrists and you dropped your arms, allowing her to peel the dress off of you and discard it on the floor, leaving you in nothing but your black underwear and horned headband.

“I want to see you, please?”

“Of course, go lay down for me and I’ll be right there.”

Rushing back over to the bed, you lay on your back and craned your neck to get the best possible view as she dropped her dress to the ground and walked over with a sway of her hips that only darkened the visible mark on your panties. She wasted no time in straddling you and pulling you into another bruising kiss, swiping her tongue along the seam of your lips and gaining the access she wanted right away. It was everything you expected of her, rough and selfish while still showing enough care to keep you enthralled as her tongue swept through your mouth, swallowing each others moans as she rolled her hips across your stomach, leaving a trail of arousal in her wake. The pressure of her on top of you was almost too much as she maintained both the force of the kiss and the motion of her hips, groaning whenever her clit hit your skin. Your hands were buried in her hair, ruining the sleekness she had worked so hard for earlier that evening but now couldn’t care less about, not when the thing she had craved for so long was finally happening. She pulled away and you whined and attempted to pull her back in, earning a glare from the older woman as she slipped down the bed until her head was between your thighs. Lighting her finger once more to vanish your underwear, she began kissing down your thighs, slowly drawing closer to where you wanted her the most.

“Please…” you let out.

“Please what?”

Please eat me out, please mommy.”

“Anything baby.” 

Her tongue ran across your entrance and you gasped at the sensation, eyes falling closed and the sound morphing into a groan as she reached your clit. She nipped at the sensitive spot and you saw stars for a moment, the sinful moans leaving your lips only spurring her on. Focusing on your entrance, she kissed and teased at the flesh, dragging sounds you had never heard yourself make before from the base of your throat. Dipping her tongue into you, your back arched off the bed as she picked up the pace, plunging it in and out as your breath came in short puffs of air, most of which were immediately used up on the truly barbaric sounds you were making now. Your walls clenched around her as you reached the edge, spouting gibberish in an attempt to convey how close you were, only for her to retract her tongue and go back to marking your inner thighs. Whimpering in confusion, you opened your eyes to find her staring at you, lips still moving slowly against your skin. Pulling away, she licked the taste of you from her mouth before speaking.

“You really thought it’d be that easy? That you could wear that little outfit, tease me like that, and still get to cum?” The look in her eyes was dangerous, almost predatory.

You looked away, not trusting yourself to speak.

“Look at me,” she grabbed your chin, balancing herself by planting her other hand on your thigh. “If you can’t take it, don’t act like such a brat.” Leaning back onto her heels, she pulled you up with her, forcing you against the headboard when you were upright, mirroring her position and sitting on your own heels.

“Hands on the bed.”

The same glow that usually emanated from her finger this time came from her eyes, conjuring thick swathes of silk and binding your hands to the bed. Scanning the room for a moment, her eyes settled on something on your nightstand and she smiled, leaning over you painfully slowly to grab it. Hand wrapped around her prize, she went back to sitting opposite you, close but not quite touching.

“Now, just what do we have here?” Her hand unclenched to reveal your vibrator, the original plan for tonight before everything went sideways. “Is this what you were planning on doing after the party? Putting in an appearance and then sneaking off to touch yourself? And here I thought you were better than that.” She poised the toy over her entrance, fingers hovering over the settings. “Eyes on me love.”

Pushing it in with a groan, she started it on a lower setting and let her hands roam her upper body, stopping at her chest to tease her nipples, plucking at the bars going through them and successfully causing you to drip onto the sheets. One hand dropped down to turn up the intensity before immediately resuming rolling her piercings between her fingertips, letting every little sound fall from her open mouth, the blood long since smeared across your face and legs. Violet eyes bored into yours during her entire display, the colour barely visible around her blown pupils. The bed shook as she turned it up one final time, rocking her hips for more friction as she reached her peak, eye contact finally breaking as her head fell back and she released a wicked moan that had you writhing against the bonds, aching to feel something, anything other than the soft fabric of the bedsheets. She tipped her head back down, eying you hungrily.

Voice lower than usual she said, “Go on, say whatever it is you’re thinking.” 

The sight of her using your vibrator, the thing that had been inside you oh so many times now inside of her, had triggered some need inside of you that you didn’t know you had. Everything about what she had just done was driving you wild with need, as she could so plainly see by the wet patch on the bed beneath you.

“Please mommy, please touch me I need you gods just please.” Your voice came out far higher than you were expecting it to, barely less than a whine. “I won’t do it again, you’ll be the only one allowed to see that much of me.”

“Damn right.”

She advanced, two fingers easily slipping into your dripping cunt and lips muffling your gasp. The binds stayed around your wrists, rendering you putty in her grasp.

[lunarriviera]

another thrilling spirealm update

henlo my friends yes it's that time once again where i tell you what is happening on the bizarrely named drama "the spirealm," i am at episode 25 having shotgunned it all weekend and i have thoughts, opinions, and a gabillion screencaps of ruan nanzhu looking stricken, i finally had to stop taking them because he has the exact same face of devastated yearning in all of them and i was filling up my cloud drive. spoilers ahoy! [parts one and two are here if you even care]

as just mentioned, ruan nanzhu spends his time looking either 1) icily indifferent (when people who aren't qiushi are talking to him and/or dying in front of him, to his vast annoyance) or 2) torn asunder by pangs of desire (whenever he's staring at qiushi, who's babbling obliviously about science or clues or absolutely nothing of any importance whatsoever). here is a representative screencap but he has this look on his face pretty much continually, like he's just been hit by a car. a car of love.

it makes me put my head in my hands and scream quietly, i haven't seen a BL actor who understood the assignment this well since zhang xincheng or maybe even z1l. (who all clearly not only read the novel but underlined it, highlighted it, and stuck in colored post-it notes.) when not busy with adoration, he swans around being magnificent in a frockcoat like he's edward rochester, while lin qiushi trails behind him wearing a fit he got out of the goodwill box in his college dorm.

in spite of being besties with a literal fashion icon, at no point does it ever seem to occur to lingling "hm maybe i should dress a bit more formally for my imminent demise inside the doors"—no, instead he proudly wears his ratty sweatshirt with holes in it. which i sort of think might belong to huang junjie. idk maybe qiushi trusts it, and feels safe in it, hey look at that i made it sad.

massive power couple energy. also notice how their outfits are exact black-and-white negatives of each other, the harper's bazaar wedding photoshoot would have been so goddamn lit.

taking a brief moment for a shoutout to this guy. chen fei i don't even know what your fate will be but i already know you deserved better. not only do you patch everyone up with your veterinary knowledge, but i have seen your unrequited love. it did not go unobserved. you would have been a great partner, you're unimpressed by everything and drink your soy milk with chilling apathy. i'm real sorry the theatre gay didn't love you back. you're too similar i guess.

back to lin qiushi who has the worst case of main character energy since harry freaking potter. somehow the game is about him??? he has trauma??? none of this was in the novel and i'm just pretending it's not happening until it becomes impossible to ignore. in the meantime he continues to sympathize with door ghosts because he's just that nice of a guy. (EXCEPTION: nanzhu literally murdered two competitors bc they threatened his darling, and lin qiushi helped him cover it up. i was appalled for like 5 minutes then i shrugged. it's a cutthroat game, the doors change people. also it's like captain mal used to say: if someone tries to kill you, you kill 'em right back.) i have big Theories about what is fixing to happen but for now i will end by relating that lin qiushi has gone into a door alone, because he wants to butch up and be a better partner for ruan nanzhu. and that would be a great idea and super helpful except that nanzhu IMMEDIATELY WENT OUT OF HIS MIND WITH BLIND TERROR. outwardly of course he gives no signs of this (other than hiring someone to protect his fragile boyfriend, which, if lingling figures this out, ruan nanzhu will be sleeping on the sofa forever).

here he is pushing food around his plate miserably at lingling's funeral pre-solo-door party. everyone is having such a fun time.

and here he is standing in front of the door waiting like a dumb wounded animal. i have a feeling if lin qiushi doesn't emerge at 15 minutes on the dot, nanzhu will simply expire on the spot, like a wolf separated from its mate. maybe that's the end of the spirealm JUST KIDDING, we still haven't gotten to the part where they're on either side of a different door wailing at each other. i really need lin qiushi to stop being such a cheery equanimous little frat boy and START SUFFERING, can we get some mutual pining up in this bitch. (also i need his hair to change in the traditional BL post-wedding hairstyle alteration because i can't remember at this point if huang junjie even HAS a forehead under that vast curtain of bangs)

to sum up, we've had a) sexy handfeeding of lychees b) tender cat fur removal from face and c) stalking your pretty boyfriend aggressively against the wall so you can…offer him a packet of disinfectant. in the novel of course nanzhu bites him and yes xia zhiguang absolutely knows that's what he's supposed to be doing here, we love to see it.

oh and also d) "i'll protect you. i'll protect you forever."

SOON: THE THRILLING CONCLUSION. IT'LL BE SO FUCKING SAD. PS unrelated to any of this but the OST SLAPS and i sing along every time now, that opening song is an unskippable cut scene of a banger

PS gonna be sad when [redacted] dies, he's a real card. and that other person dies too. and that third person. shit it's about to get messy

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

You know what, I'm into the whole "Spider gets an ikran via idk #HTTYD means" and all, but come on. We, as a fandom, can think bigger than that. I want a story where Spider stumbles upon a Thanator injured in the previous night's storm or some shit on his way back to Hell's Gate and then he slowly nurtures it back to health all while they form an epic bond and boom, next thing you know he's being protected by the apex predator of the forest. Fuck ikrans, LOOK AT THAT THING. (Plus the fact that a Thanator let Neytiri form tsaheylu with it during the final battle just makes it 1000% better when you think about it.)

1000% agree love this idea. Ya'll motherfuckers KNOW I love love love Eywa blessed Spider, where no one can ignore that she wants him there and he is a child of hers. A PALULUKAN??? Something Neytiri has specifically been the only rider of (in the Omaticaya I believe there is a canonical clan that rides them)?? Symbolically ICONIC. I fucking loooove that. Okay so:

-He finds the palulukan on a walk to the village, when it's a pup, and he's little, I'm saying nine or ten. It's gotten sliced on it's farthest back leg by a piece of metal that fell from an old Sampson. It's been there for years, almost fully covered by vines and leaves, and never fallen, so it's odd. In it's attempt to get away, it got caught in part of the metal grate.

-He knows exactly what it is and how dangerous it is, but our boy spends all his time with Kiri Sully, girl instills a deep respect for all of Eywa's creatures but also a deep empathy beyond maybe that of a typical Na'vi. Spider is always so willing to learn and to listen, he's the one who's been most affected by Kiri's connection with the forest

-He knows if he tells any adult that they'll probably put it out of it's misery and say it's Eywa's will, and he did good to find it, but he thinks about what Kiri would say and what Kiri would do. He has his own medicine pouch now, freshly gifted by Kiri. It's not big enough but he also has some dried meat that Lo'ak gave him yesterday that he hadn't bothered to eat because he's not an expert at mask eating yet.

-So, he throws the meat to the palulukan. He doesn't know how long it's been there, but it seems hungry. The closer he get the harder it tries to get away, cutting it's leg even more. So he sits and waits, tossing it pieces of meat. Finally, he gets close enough to touch it's leg. It's very tense but he manages to spread some herbs on it's cut before it turns to swipe at him. Another several chunks of meat later, he is close enough again. He takes the risk and grabs its leg to force it up and out. Immediate regret, he's for sure gonna die, but instead it's just gone. He sort of sits there for a few minutes having a minor heart attack, then finishes his walk to the village to find Kiri, Lo'ak and Neteyam worried out of their minds because he's late and jsut reports the wreckage fall to Jake.

-He tells Kiri about it later, but they keep it secret, not sure the others will understand.

-On his walks alone he starts to feel like there are eyes on him. Just watching, all creepy. He even starts to feel them when he's with his friends. Lo'ak thinks he's crazy, but Kiri says it's just Eywa looking out for him.

-He gets desperate enough to ask Mo'at. She nods all sagely and says it's probably nothing but they should add it to his songcord which are two really opposite statements and he's really confused.

-The next day his friends are busy and he decides to fuck off in the forest himself only to accidentally startle some nantang. The same palulukan, scars on its ankle and leg, busts out of nowhere and jumps in front of him, scaring them off. Then it turns and looks at him, all self satisfied like it's repaid the favor. But when he thanks it and turns to go he still feels it watching. Eventually, he and Kiri take chunks of meat into the woods and just give it gifts and build up trust.

[queen--kenobi]

Elayna x Wylla is my new OTP

OKAY LISTEN I'm actually having some Thoughts about them because their relationship and dynamic would be so fucking wild

(Also holy shit this got long I'm so sorry)

Like. I think they'd only be in each other's social sphere at first because of Abby. And it'd be that weird dynamic of "you're my best friend's cousin/my cousin's best friend so I'll play nice" but I think Elayna's def judging Wylla for being a Northern girl who's not a Stark (and therefore not seen as politically relevant). And Wylla is judging Elayna because she's clocking that Lannister influence (both in terms of look and personality) the minute she sees Elayna. But! They both care about Abby so they're cordial because neither of them wants to put Abby in a weird position

That being said, the first time they interact without Abby there it's... tense. Maybe they're both a little meaner than they should be. I think Wylla wins first round but Elayna wins the next. Third ends in a draw. Fourth is weird because I feel like they've both realized the other is smarter and more perceptive than they thought, and like. Idk Elayna doesn't like Wylla but also respects Wylla for holding her ground? Because lbr Elayna can and will hate someone but respect the fuck out of them if they can hold their own against her

Honestly at some point they probably just start going at each other not because they actually hate each other but because it's sort of their routine and it's weirdly fun when neither of them is in a vicious mood. Plus the more time they spend around each other, the more they kinda ease up on earlier assumptions. A lot of tension that still lingers is Wylla being blunt and Elayna being rich girl mean. Eventually I feel like they'd reach an understanding but not without both of them having breakdowns because the longer they know each other, the better they can zero in on the other's weak spots

NOW. Aemond becomes a point of contention, and that nearly makes shit go completely and irreparably sideways. Especially once Aemond realizes both of them have a thing for him? Sorry Aemond girlies, but that man is absolutely pitting them against each other. He's not used to having women be interested in him but having two? You can't tell me he wouldn't get a power trip over watching them fight

Ironically, Tymon is the one to put a stop to it because Tymon points it out to Elayna. Which is a very weird moment in their relationship because Elayna and Tymon have been fighting for years now. Make no mistake, Tymon isn't pointing it out for Elayna's sake but for his. He cannot have a nemesis who debases herself, especially for another man, because that's not a good look for him. It's not because Tymon actually still cares about Elayna in his own fucked up way. And make no mistake, Elayna only realizes what was going on because she compared Aemond to Tymon. It's not because Elayna actually kinda still cares about Tymon's opinion as a "friend" bah they're not friends

Which I think. I think once Elayna has had this realization she a) doesn't want Aemond anymore because of this and b) has let herself become a bad person because of all this. This leads her to talk to Tyland (which btw their relationship is in a really fucky stage hehehe), and Tyland gives Elayna the very sane and reasonable advice of go talk to Wylla.

Elayna about pitches a fit because that's not what she wants to hear but it's what she needs to hear. She absolutely acts like it's a punishment because she's never in the wrong. After several weeks she goes and comes clean to Wylla

I'm gonna be honest I don't think it goes over well buuuuut it actually saves things because they at least know where the other is. And they slowly and very painfully begin repairing things

...Abby is absolutely the one to nudge Wylla into talking to Elayna btw

This is absolutely where Elayna and Wylla start to become an actual thing I feel like? Like in my head when things are super toxic they absolutely have toxic yuri vibes but lmao they're fighting good luck getting either of them to even admit oh hey, I find her hot

I honestly have no idea how they would even get together but I can say Aemond probably isn't happy with this? Idk I feel like them being friends forces him to make a choice in his head? Well that and by that point I think Elayna has told Tyland she's ready to take their betrothal seriously. I think it doesn't have too much of an effect on Tyland and Elayna’s relationship? Because in my head they had a talk about their marriage being a lavender marriage fairly early on, and it does change things some because they're both attracted to the other. I think so long as Elayna comes back to him at the end of the day, Tyland is mostly okay with it. He's just sorta accepted the "this is my wife Elayna and her partner Wylla" and it's certainly a waaaaay better situation than "this is my wife Elayna and her partner Cerelle who is also my niece please don't examine this too closely I don't like thinking about how weird this is"

[neowinestainedress]

𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 — 𝐂𝐇. 𝟑

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎 — 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: lee haechan x oc ; na jaemin x oc 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: fluff, slight angst, childhood best friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, exes to lovers, lovers to exes 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: feelings that shouldn’t exist surface after jaemin proposes to do something with hyejin after haechan declined, and things start to get complicated. 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: they discuss a artwork that could potentially be triggering but idk how to warn you, maybe don't look for it if you're too sensitive (there are animals involved) there's nothing graphic in the chapter ofc 𝐖𝐂: +5k 𝐀/𝐍: please, please, leave feedback if you liked it, and reblog so the story can reach more people! enjoy ♡

Mondays were the worst days of the week. Sunday night was already a bummer when she couldn’t sleep over at Haechan’s place, it was a trauma to be alone after two nights spent by his side. But the idea of having to start another week was even worst. 

“Who the fuck woke me up so soon?” Yeri yelled, stomping down the stairs as the horn kept honking outside. 

“We don’t know,” Ningning replied, shrugging as she continued eating her breakfast. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? Why don’t you check?” The blonde huffed, walking just as angrily to the window. “Isn’t that Haechan’s car?” 

Hyejin furrowed a brow, gulping down the last bit of coffee left in her mug and walking to her friend. “Why would it be?” 

“I don’t know, ask your crazy boyfriend what is he doing at seven in the morning waking the neighbourhood up?” 

“It’s really him, what?” Hyejin gasped, finally seeing him sitting in the passenger seat. 

“Oh, he’s so romantic,” Ningning whispered, bringing her hands on her chest while Yeri glared at her before huffing loudly and storming back to her room, hoping to sleep for at least thirty minutes more. “Come on, go outside!” 

“I’m wearing my nightwear.” 

“Why would he care, move,” her friend urged, pushing her out of the door. 

Her hesitation disappeared when she started running to his car with a big smile on her face. “Hyuck?” 

“Hi, babe,” he said, rolling down the window. “Want me to drop you to work?” 

Her smile widened as she moved her head up and down swiftly. “But I still have to get dressed.” 

“Yeah, I can see,” he giggled, moving his eyes on her frame quickly. “I know it’s early, but I thought we could have breakfast together at the bar next to the library, how’s that sound? They have your favourite sweets.” 

“God, you really want to spoil me today, don’t you?” 

Haechan snorted, clicking his tongue. “As if I don’t spoil you always.” 

She chuckled before taking a few steps back. “I’ll be back soon, wait for me.” 

“Yeah, don’t rush, we have time.” 

She couldn’t don’t rush when rushing meant spending more time with him, also her clothes were already picked up from the night before, so she only needed to wash up and get dressed, and after less than ten minutes she was sitting next to him in the car, ready to start the week. 

“You dress too well to stay in a library all day,” Haechan commented, quickly glancing at her outfit as he drove through the streets of Seoul. 

“Don’t make me blush.”

“You still blush at my compliments?” He teased, smirking smugly. And she rolled her eyes. “Stop pretending not to know the effect you have on me, you know I probably will never stop reacting like a teenager at her first crush.” 

Haechan chuckled before a sweet smile crossed his face. “Because I am your first crush.” 

A sigh rolled from her lips just thinking about it. Thinking back at all the years of yearning for him felt so strange now that she had him right where she always wanted him, and she knew there was no way she was going to leave that haze behind. 

“Unfortunately,” she joked, making him gasp dramatically as he brought one hand to his chest. 

“You should be so glad you have me in your life. Look at you, in less than five minutes I’ll buy you your favourite cupcakes, and then I’ll drive you to work, and I’ll come pick you up this afternoon.” 

“You’ll pick me up?” 

“Do you prefer the metro?” 

“Oh, hell, no,” she replied, trying to hold back the mindless smile, but this was the best Monday in a while. It felt nice, and not so heavy like any other ones where the fears and doubts would slump over her shoulders. And once again her happy moment was him, the only time when she didn’t feel her chest get so heavy. 

“And here we are,” Haechan stated, luckily finding a parking spot right in front of her library that was only a few steps away from the bar. 

“You weren’t so happy yesterday, does Monday bring you a good mood?” She asked, searching for his arms to intertwine with hers as they started making their way to the bakery. 

“What do you mean I wasn’t so happy yesterday?” 

“You were grumpy, and you just seemed, I don’t know, not like this.” 

“Blame it on the Sunday melancholy,” he laughed. “No, but I don’t know, I thought I was fine, just wanted to chill inside the house all day with you.” 

“And Jaemin,” she giggled, pushing the front door open. The smell of freshly baked sweets and bread filled her nose, and the day immediately got better. 

“Please,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. “He always clings to us, but I can’t complain, I missed having him around.” 

“I like him, he’s a fun guy and it’s so nice to talk with him.” 

“Yeah, but can we don’t focus on him even when we’re alone?” 

She laughed, nodding. “Yeah, I’m starving.” 

When the clock hit 5:30 pm, Haechan was outside of the library, waiting for Hyejin to come out. 

“Hi, honey,” he greeted, waving as he leaned against his car. “How was your day?” 

She looked happier, the smile on her face was too big for someone that usually hated the start of the week, and she almost jumped with every step she took. 

“Amazing,” Hyejin replied, throwing herself in his arm, surprising him so much he barely reciprocated the hug. 

“Really? Why?” He asked, opening the door for her before running to his side. 

“Guess what?” She exclaimed, turning to the side to stare at him, the smile on her face never fading. 

“What?” 

“I have two tickets to an art gallery for Saturday!” 

“An art gallery?” Haechan asked, furrowing his brows, and tilting his head. 

“Yeah, the one I wanted to go to, remember?” She was basically jumping on her seat, radiating happiness just at the idea. 

“Yeah, yeah, I do. The contemporary art one, right?” Haechan questioned, making sure he got it right. But, seeing how happy she was, the answer was quite obvious. 

“Yep,” Hyejin exclaimed, clapping her hands. 

“Are you going with Yeri?” 

Her smile dropped as soon as she registered his words. “What do you mean with Yeri?” 

“You’ve got two tickets, didn’t you?” 

She nodded, but the happiness on her face was gone, and her body was pressed against the seat. “Yeah, but I was thinking of going with you.” 

“Oh,” he gasped, diverting his gaze, hands falling on the wheel as his fingers tapped on it nervously. “I wish I could but…” 

“But what?” She asked, urging him to finish the phrase, a bitter edge hidden in her tone. “Already made promises to someone else?” 

“No, no, I just… you know I don’t like art… not contemporary art, to be honest.” 

“But I want to go.” 

“Well, can’t you go with someone else?” 

She opened her mouth to talk but shut it down immediately, slumping back on the seat and humming while pressing her lips together. 

“Hey, I just —” 

“No, it’s fine,” she stopped him, lifting a hand to stop his hand from touching her thigh, not turning to look at him, feeling too vulnerable as tears menaced escaping from her eyes. “I’ll go with someone else, don’t worry.” 

“Yeah, you know, you could go with someone that enjoys it.” 

Hyejin didn’t reply, only nodded as she started getting lost in the city outside. Did he genuinely want her to go with someone that shared her same passion or did he just didn’t get she wanted to spend some time with him? Either way, she was hurt and didn’t want to think about it. “Oh, can you drop me home? I have to help Yeri with something.” 

“Yeah, sure. Though, I thought we could spend at least dinner together.” 

“I don’t know, don’t want it to be too late…” She lied, nervously biting the inside of her cheek. 

“Oh, come on, we’ll eat quickly, I’ll drop you home before 8.” 

She sighed. The truth was she was sad, maybe even a bit mad, and didn’t want to spend more time with him, but then again, she felt she had no right to be mad, Haechan didn’t like art, and found it boring, while she loved it, so it was normal he didn’t want to go with her. That didn’t mean he loved her less than she loved him, or that he didn’t want to spend time with her, he wanted her to enjoy her day. 

“Yeah, fine, just don’t drop me too late,” she smiled, meeting his eyes, and watching as his lips curled in a smile too. 

Hyejin didn’t want to torment Haechan with the same questions, but the more the art gallery got close, the more she couldn’t help but feel sad he didn’t want to go with her. So there she was, one day before, begging him to go with her. 

“Then we can go whatever we want,” she repeated for the nth time, leaving the shoes at the side of the door to wear her slippers that were next to his. 

“Honey, I know, but…” Haechan huffed, fixing his hair and hanging the coat next to the door. It had been a constant nagging the entire ride back home and his brain was already exploding from work, that was the last thing he needed. “I’m exhausted, and I don’t even know if I’ll get up from bed tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin your day, you know I’m insufferable when I get no sleep.” 

“But it’s in the afternoon.” 

Haechan turned around, glaring at her. “You don’t like going to art galleries late, you want to be there first thing in the morning to avoid the queue, I know you.” 

Hyejin huffed, “True, but I would do it for you.” 

“And I said I don’t want to,” he replied before sighing when he saw her expression drop even more. “Hye, come here,” he whispered, pulling her closer by the waist, “I’m too tired for this, it was a long day of an even longer week and I want to spend the weekend rotting in bed. Can you go have fun for me?” 

Hyejin pushed down her throat a sniffle and nodded, keeping her lips together to avoid making weird sounds as she fought back tears. 

“Good,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. “I’ll go take a shower, if you are hungry start eating without me.” 

But all the hunger had left her as she dragged her body into the kitchen, surprised of seeing Jaemin there. 

“Oh, no, you listened to it all, didn’t you?” 

Jaemin raised his head, faking surprise and shrugging. “To what?” He had listened, but he didn’t want to seem like the roommate that couldn’t mind his business. Well, he was the roommate who couldn’t mind his business, but was it really his fault if they always bickered in the common spaces? 

She whined, sitting on the chair next to his, resting her head on the table. 

“Why are you sad?” He asked, closing the laptop after making sure he had saved what he was working on.

“I don’t want to distract you from your things.” 

“Nah, I was done anyway. Actually, I wanted to make dinner, wanna help?” 

She shook her head, lifting her upper body again to rub her hands on her face. “I’m not even hungry anymore.” 

Jaemin didn’t answer right away, he only studied her body and her nervous movements. “Did… did you fight?” 

“We didn’t fight, it’s just… oh never mind, I’m childish. He breaks his back at work, and I still whine when he’s too tired to do something with me.” 

“Is this about the art gallery?” 

“How do you know?” 

“Well, you’ve been talking about it for days, I heard you asked him two days ago, and then he talked about it with me.” 

“He did?” She asked, shifting on the seat. Jaemin hummed. “What did he say?” 

“Just that you wanted to go but he doesn’t like it.” 

Another huff rolled from her lips and Jaemin cocked his head to stare at her face that was now facing the table. “See, he just doesn’t like it, even if he wasn’t tired, he wouldn’t come, but is it so bad? We could even go skating after we’re done, I don’t care.” 

Jaemin coughed, fighting with his brain whether to be too upfront with her and tell her all the theories he kept making in his mind as he continuously studied them or not. It truly wasn’t his intention to pay so much attention to the details, but some red flags seemed so loud and clear to him, he couldn’t understand how Hyejin didn’t see them at all. 

“Did you talk to him?” 

“I ran out of words,” she scoffed, throwing her hands in the air. “But it’s fine, I’ll gift them to somebody else.” 

“No,” Jaemin shouted, louder and quicker than he wanted to. “I mean, you want to go, you can’t give it up because he’s not coming.” 

“I know but I don’t want to go alone and I don’t want to go with my friends,” she whispered, focusing on the design of the tablecloth to avoid his gaze, “neither Yeri nor Ningning want to come, and it’s fair, one has a date and the other one has her only free day, so…” 

“Can I come?” 

“What?” Her face lifted, staring at the young man in front of her with shock. 

“I mean, I’d like to go, if you want to, if it’s fine for you,” Jaemin said, the usual confidence of his voice faltering as he struggled to keep eye contact. 

“But I like to go there early and I’m annoying because I really love contemporary art and everybody hates it, I mean, I kinda hate it too but I think it’s funnier sometimes, you have so much freedom to come up with things when you look at the art and you can criticize it, oh, see,” she chuckled as she realized she started to talk no-stop. “I’m even worse when I have it in front of me.” 

Jaemin chuckled, grabbing her hand and caressing it. “I talk too much, too, so it would be incoherent for me to criticize you, don’t you think so?” 

“Yeah, but you talk about interesting things…” she said, quickly moving her eyes from their hands to his eyes. 

“This is interesting. So, what time tomorrow?” 

Hyejin’s smile reached ear to ear while the hype sparkled in her again, the idea of not having to go there alone and being with someone that seemed as interested as she was, was the best news of the day. 

“7:30, so we can be there at 8:00.” 

“Early bird, got it.” 

Jaemin wasn’t interested in contemporary art at all. To be honest, he simply never understood it and found it nerve-wracking how the lines about the definition of art blurred after the ‘60. But as he drove to the gallery he realized that he had found someone that was going to make him change his mind. 

Hyejin was the personification of happiness and excitement. When he parked out of her house at 7:20, she was already there, waiting under the porch, and rushed inside in the blink of an eye. And now she couldn’t stop talking about the things they were going to see. 

“Ever thought about being a teacher?” Jaemin asked, stopping her explanation of the life of Jean-Michel Basquiat. 

“Me? A teacher?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I know your dream is to be an artist but maybe you could teach and start your artist career as a side hustle.” 

“Oh, I’ve never thought about it. Do you think I’d be great?” 

“I think you’d be amazing,” he smiled, making her look away. 

“Well, I love my book club with kids, I wait for Friday mostly for them.” 

“See,” he said. “I’ve never seen you, but I think you’re good with them.” 

“You got that just from my rants that probably already gave you a headache?” 

“Oh, shut up,” he laughed. “I love how you explain things, it’s simple and clear, but you still give nice details and your passion is loud.” 

“Thanks,” she mumbled, biting her nails, and smiling shyly at him. 

“It’s the truth,” Jaemin smiled back before looking at the road again. 

When they exited the place it was around 10:00 am, the sun was by now high in the sky and the temperature was warmer, but none of them wanted to go back home, so they decided to go for a walk. 

“So, are you traumatized?” Hyejin asked, walking at his side, feeling their shoulders brush. “You didn’t talk much.” 

“Oh, I didn’t…” 

“Was it disappointing?” 

“No, I’m just speechless. Okay, so I never cared much about contemporary art, and I didn’t find it boring like Haechan, but I found it irritating.” 

“And you still came here for me?” She asked, not able to kill the smile that was forming on her face. 

Jaemin nodded, smiling shyly. 

“Oh, I owe you something.” 

“No, you don’t because I loved it,” he confessed.  

“You did? You don’t have to lie, I don’t take it personally.” 

“Yeah, I know,” he smiled. “But you are too good of a teacher and I’ve learned new things and turns out it is funny to stare at a blank canvas and see whatever the hell I want in it.” 

Hyejin laughed, mind going back to when the guide asked what they saw in that painting and he nonchalantly said ‘a burger’. “The guide wanted to kill you.” 

“What? It’s freedom of speech and imagination, ugh?” He laughed, eyes crinkling up. “Okay, I’m just starving, I was starting to see food everywhere.” 

“Want to have brunch?” 

“Should we? Even if after seeing ‘Mother and child divided’ I’m not so hungry anymore, especially not for burgers.” 

Hyejin chuckled, shaking her hair to move the long strands of the bang from her eyes. “The love-hate relationship I have with that work is not unexplainable.” 

Jaemin’s face twisted in disgust for a moment. “There’s a way to love it?” 

“I mean, I like the double message, and mostly I love how the mother and son relationship has always been a pivotal point in art and in this work is so… revolutionized. Think about it, when you think about that in art what comes to mind?” 

Jaemin thought about it for a minute before answering, “The Madonna and Jesus?” 

“Exactly! A holy image, of the purest kind of love, in an idyllic setting and then, all of a sudden, this is gone, it’s macabre and cruel. The love that should last forever, that bond that should never break, is torn apart. And it’s portrayed by a cow and a calf put in a tank. It’s shocking, but cool… if only those animals weren’t real. But also, if they were plastic, would it induce the same sense of irritation and anger? Like, seeing that makes me angry for so many things, the idea that a child was torn in two and separated by his mother is cruel and revolting,” she explained, gesticulating and stopping herself because she had so much to say. 

His lips curled in a soft smile as he stared at her getting so worked up. “I only stopped at revolting when I saw it, so that’s what I mean when I say you have so much passion in you.” 

Hyejin chuckled. “That’s why I stopped hating contemporary art so much, I was like you, getting mad and saying that it wasn’t real art, but then when you study those artists and what they want to say, you realize that you will always play their game. Every time you say that you could’ve done it too, that it’s outrageous, that it took them nothing, you pay them attention, you try to find a meaning in what they do and even if you think you’re not, they have you hooked on their art.” 

Jaemin smiled tenderly. “So you say, you might as well take a jump in their no sense and have fun?” 

“Exactly.” 

“And what about you?” 

“Me?” 

“Your art? Do you want to traumatize people, too?” 

“No, don’t worry, you won’t find corpses of any kind in the freezer because I need them for artistic purposes,” she joked. “Should we talk about this in there? It looks like a nice restaurant?” She asked when a sign caught her attention as they were walking by. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

When they entered the place, they sat down at a table and ordered something to eat. 

“So, you were saying?” 

“My art is simple, classic, basic.” 

Jaemin glared at her. “I’d love to see the passion you put into other people’s art into yours.” 

“I try to but I… I don’t even know what my art is anymore. It was personal, and it has always worked as a diary. I’m pretty good at different things, from realism to abstractionism, I do well even with sculptures, but I don’t think what I loved about my art was the technique. I loved the way my hands followed my heart, I would vomit my emotions on the canvas and just let go. I didn’t even care when I had to try and retry. Now I know I would start to compulsively look at the tiniest details, the proportions are not perfect at 100%, the spacing between the eyes looks weird, the shadows are surely wrong, and on and on and on…” 

Jaemin sighed, smiling briefly at the waitress that brought their drinks and the appetizers. “Why?” 

Hyejin shrugged before bringing the glass to her lips. “I… I can’t afford that. I want a future with Haechan, but we can’t have it now with a job that pays me, imagine if I drop everything to live off with art. I can’t put this weight on him.” 

“But you could at least still keep the flame alive?” He dared to say. 

“And how? I don’t have time for that.” 

Jaemin snorted and she raised a brow. “What’s so funny?” 

“I’m just… never mind.” 

“No, speak, or I’ll make art right now by pushing a fork in your arm.” 

“Fine, fine,” he gave up. “Instead of coming to our place every evening to cook, you could go to your place and paint.” 

“Damn, you really don’t want me home,” she joked.  

“When did I say it?” He asked, raising a brow. “It’s just... Haechan works but then he always finds time to play games with Jeno, or go out with some other friends, or even just chill on the sofa. You? You come home and cook and clean…” 

“I do it because I want to.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he dismissed her, looking at his plate because he knew it was a lost cause to start with.  

Hyejin furrowed. “You still think he treats me like a maid?” 

“I’m not saying he treats you like a maid, I’m saying you… you love him too much.” 

“What?” She gasped.

“You can do it for him. I know you just want to stay under the same roof and know that he’s in the other room and have dinner together, but you loved art and you shouldn’t push that passion away completely.”

“I didn’t push it away for him, it won’t give me a future. And I know what I want, I have to work hard for that.” 

Jaemin hummed, biting back the bitter remark, stopping himself from screaming why can’t you see the evidence? “And what’s the future?” 

“So you can judge even that?” She joked, but the bitter edge in her voice reached his ears anyway. 

He felt a painful clench in his heart and his smile dropped. “I only care for you, I don’t want to judge.” 

“I know you do, but I’m a grown-up, and we have to make decisions when we grow up, don’t we? If I do what I do, it’s because I want to and because I know that going to my place and starting to paint when that paint won’t see the light of the day will just kill me more.” 

Jaemin nodded. “Yeah, sure. Sorry for being… too much into your business.” 

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.” 

The first intention was to go home, but when after taking a different route because the road was closed, they saw an amusement park, they couldn’t help but stop by. 

“You have no idea how many times I begged Haechan to come with me,” Hyejin said, hopping around. 

“Damn, always too tired from work, isn’t he?” Jaemin whispered bitterly but she barely heard. 

“What?” 

“No, nothing, you’re here now, isn’t it nice?” 

Her smile widened even more as she nodded. “I love it.”

“So, any ride you’d like to try?” He asked, trying to turn into a tomato when her hand searched for his. 

“Mhh, don’t know. Any suggestion?”

He cleared his throat, looking around, more to find an excuse to don’t have to look into her shiny eyes than to look at the attractions. “I mean, are you in a rush? Because if you’re not, we can try them all for me.”

Her eyes lit up while her lips moved up in a grin. “Are you sure?” She asked, trying to mask the happiness and excitement in her voice. 

Jaemin nodded, “Anything you want.”

“Carousel first.”

After two hours they tried every ride in the park, even going on some twice. They felt strained, but adrenaline was rushing in their bones as they talked about anything and everything and occasionally sang and danced along to the music coming from the big speakers at the corners. 

“Oh look, you can win a couple of bunnies!” Hyejin exclaimed, seeing the stand as they were walking out of the park. 

“Do you want them?” Jaemin asked, staring at where her finger was pointing. 

“Yes! So I can give one to Hycuk.” 

Jaemin shouldn’t have felt that twisting pain in his heart as those words left her mouth and she started walking speedily to the booth to try to win the plushies, but he felt it anyway. He couldn’t believe she was so blindly in love with Haechan. But he shrugged it off and followed her. 

Jaemin stood a few steps back, leaning against the pillar of the stall as he watched her handle the gun and shoot at the cans, failing all her tries of the first round. A smile curled his lips as she huffed and shook the bangs out of her face to try to get a better aim. But when even the second try failed, Jaemin couldn’t stand looking at her sulk on it more. 

“I’ll try,” he said, handing the money to the cashier and taking the water gun from her hands. 

“Jaem, you don’t have to.”

“I know,” he said, turning around and smiling at her. “I want to.” Jaemin would’ve indulged more in her cheeks heating up and the big smile on her face if it wasn’t for the bell ringing, signalling the start of the game. 

“You need to take down five of them to get the bunnies,” the man behind the cashier reminded him when he knocked the first one down. 

Hyejin rolled her eyes, grunting lowly because there was no need to be so annoying. But even though she was cheering on him, she didn’t expect him to keep pushing the cans down. His aim was perfect, and nothing could distract him from his goals. And so lost in everything, she stopped thinking that he was so handsome, it was a shame he was still single. But when the bell rang and brought her out of her thoughts, she saw the score on the screen. 

“I can’t believe you won them,” she screamed when Jaemin turned around, winking at her before grabbing the two plushies from the man in the stand and handing them to her. 

Jaemin smiled tenderly, watching her jump on the spot as she held them tight on her chest. He shrugged, starting to walk over to the parking lot as she followed by his side. “It seemed like you wanted them badly, thought I could help.” 

Her eyes lit up more before she stood on her tiptoes to leave a small peck on his cheeks. “Thank you so much. You’re the best. I can’t wait to give this to Hyuck.” 

Jaemin’s smile turned bitter, but his cheeks were still bright red from the kiss of before. “I’m sure he’ll love it.” 

“I hope so,” she said, trailing off as she waited for him to open the car. “I don’t know, sometimes I feel like… it’s almost as if I don’t know him anymore.” 

“You’re not sure he would like them?” Jaemin asked, watching her play with the fur of the plush before starting the car to head home. 

Hyejin shrugged, letting out a low huff. “It’s not about these, it’s about a lot of things. I’ve known him since forever, and yet sometimes I get this feeling we’re almost strangers.” 

Jaemin chuckled. “You two? Strangers?” 

“Yeah, it’s absurd, right?” She said, looking at him. Jaemin nodded and she sighed again. “Maybe it’s just life that makes it hard. But I hate that I do things for him thinking he’ll love them and then he’s just not as excited as me, or not like I expect him to be… with me.”

Jaemin kept quiet, he didn’t know what to say. Honestly, he didn’t want to hurt her with what he thought was the reason. As the months went by, he simply thought they both loved each other deeply but differently and somehow it made it look like Haechan loved her a bit less. 

“I feel like I became too much for him, you know? And I’m always afraid I’ll do something wrong. I don’t want to upset him, but also I miss what we used to have when we were in college. He always found a way to spend time with me, he would help me study even if he didn’t know a thing about my degree,” she said with a small melancholic smile on her face. “God, he even asked for the recipe of a dish I loved to prepare it at home because we couldn’t go out often.”

Jaemin smiled, caressing the hand on her thigh in reassurance. “He loves you, don’t doubt that.” 

“I know,” she whispered, clearly trying to fight back tears, “but I wonder if we’re right for each other. He never…” she sighed, looking out of the window and taking a deep breath. “He never saw me, not like I would see him. And… oh, Jesus, I’m so annoying, aren’t I?” 

“No, you’re not,” he reassured. “Let it out, Hyejin. It’s alright.” 

“No, because it’s just me and my stupid paranoias. I loved him for so long, hurting so much because he would see right through me, and now that I have him, I still have that lingering fear I am not enough. I try so hard to keep this up because I’m terrified I’ll lose a friend before I’ll lose a lover.” 

Jaemin gulped, feeling heaviness in his heart. Haechan meant so much to her. He wanted to say these paranoias were useless, but he didn’t feel like lying. “I don’t think you should stress about it. Now let’s go home and give him that bunny, alright? He’ll love it.” 

Hyejin forced a smile on her lips and blinked the tears away before nodding. But the silence that surrounded them felt agonizing, so she had to fill it somehow. “Remember when I told you about Zoya?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“She asked me and Haechan to hang out next week, I thought you could tag along.” 

“Oh,” he whispered, swallowing the gulp in his throat, “to get to know her?” 

“Yes, of course, silly. Why else?” She asked, pushing him playfully. 

“I love how you keep not-so-subtly telling me I’m bitchless,” he chuckled and she laughed too. 

“I just think you two would make a great match,” she explained. “And I…” she breathed out, biting the inside of her cheek, “… I kinda don’t want to be just us. It doesn’t even have to be to get with her, just to hang out with us and make a new friend.” 

“Why don’t you want to be just you, her and Hyuck? I thought you were friends?” 

“Yes, we are,” she replied. “I don’t mind being just us, but it’s been just us for years, nothing wrong with adding another one,” she clarified, voice shaking and fingers fidgeting with the paw of the toy. 

Jaemin glimpsed at her, not convinced at all, but shrugged. “Fine, I’ll come.” 

“Perfect! I’ll tell her tomorrow, so she can book the table for four,” Hyejin cheered, beaming at him. “I think we’ve gone too far from home.” 

“Yeah, I just noticed how far we’ve driven to get to that park,” he chuckled. “Are you tired?” He asked when she yawned. 

Hyejin giggled in embarrassment and then nodded. “A bit.” 

“You can rest if you want,” he proposed her. “I think we won’t be home sooner than an hour.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you alone.” 

“No, don’t worry. Just relax.” 

“Thank you.” 

As he ever so often glimpsed at her falling asleep on the passenger seat, Jaemin realized a painful truth; he didn’t want Zoya or any other woman, he wanted her. 

© neowinestaindress; all rights reserved. do NOT repost, modify, or translate any work from this blog on any other platform and claim it as yours. you can find my works on ao3 (neowinestaindress) and wattpad (winestaintedress_; currently inactive).

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @smwhirnthehaze ; @liliansun ; @moonstar127 ; @novawon ; @neosdaisy | comment under the masterlist to be added | general taglist: @froggyforyoongi , @wingsss45 ; @tddyhyck

[parab0mb]

So, now that I finished the game (again) and the DLC chapters, I'm going to ramble about Crosscode C:

This game is really bizarre in the sense that, to be completely 100% honest, there isn't any particular part of the game that I think is all that mind-blowing. But all the individual elements (heh) of the game come together so well that the resulting product ends up being so much stronger and memorable than the sum of its parts.

Like, most indie games have one or several notable flaws or shortcomings (and understandably so) but this game is such an airtight experience that I can't help thinking about it and just being like "the how HECK is this game so GOOD?!"

...I am of course just getting started, I've got a wall of text of things I liked and thought were just "meh" under the 'keep reading' if you're interested (you've been warned (also spoilers obviously)):

The combat is definitely one of the strongest elements of the game and probably one of my personal favorites; its brutally difficult and sometimes feels like bullshit (and maybe there is one or two instances where it actually is just bullshit) but once you get the hang of it is really is flashy and satisfying and makes you feel badass to pull off. Plus its got the whole easy to learn, hard to master thing going on (like most of it is just charging SP and pressing the space bar, but knowing what moves to use and when def play into things).

I dunno how much of a hot take this is, but I really liked the puzzles in this game! I won't deny that they can sometimes drag on and interrupt the pacing of a temple, but personally I didn't mind. And just like the combat they're so well constructed that, while you'll spend minutes staring blankly reminded that you're a simple-minded creature and that the human mind wasn't made for this and you should be foraging for mushrooms in the woods and risking death over your next meal, they rarely feel impossible to solve without having to resort to a playthrough and are really satisfying to finally figure out (not to brag but there was exactly one puzzle in the game where I had to look up the solution and another where I did solve it on my own but then looked it up cause I thought I cheesed it by mistake). At first I wasn't a huge fan of how fast/precise you have to be for some puzzles on top of just finding out the solution in the first place, but after a while you kinda get used to it (and there is an option to slow things down which is really nice of the devs to include).

The story is... pretty alright. Yeah. I honestly don't have much to say about it. Bit of a slow pace, does the job, and has it's share of twists and emotional moments, but the narrative itself doesn't really do anything mind-blowing either so... you know. I definitely think it's the characters themselves that are memorable and prop up an otherwise average story. I mean every single one of them is just the hugest goober and even characters who initially seem forgettable or one-dimensional end up subverting your expectations and being super endearing/compelling/layered. Oh yeah, and Lea is a character that can only say like 10 words and SHE DESERVES THE WORLD I WOULD KILL FOR H-

Also, since the DLC is brand new to me I do wanna say that the ending was the tiniest bit underwhelming. Like you break into Vermillion Wasteland, fight a (surprisingly easy) boss, and that's... just it. Like 20 minutes top. I dunno, it feels like... something was missing. Still thoroughly enjoyed the entire thing and it is nice for the cast to get their happy ending (not quite as emotionally impactful as the base game's end imo, but still great and I'm glad they gave us more time with these dorks).

The platforming and navigating the overworld is tedious, which sucks a bit since that makes up a good chunk of the game. Idk man, having to scale different elevations of platforms is made frustrating by the fixed camera and the fact that the different "levels" of platforms aren't distinct from each other at all, so its easy to get duped by the perspective and jump to something you can't actually reach (yes you can use projectiles to check but it still isn't fun). Even without everything blending into each other visually, trying to find which obscure paths from four rooms ago will bring you to a chest just isn't all that enjoyable (some of the later maps like Sapphire Ridge were okay though, if only cause they started to have actually interesting puzzles to do). Basically they're just... there, between the actually fun stuff.

The trading system and farming for resources is confusing and kind of a chore. That's all I got.

Guess I'll touch on the art/music since I don't have too much to say about them. To be perfectly honest I'm not actually super crazy about the artstyle (blasphemy!), but I won't deny that the sprite-work and overall aesthetic are still super-well done, even if they aren't my personal taste (tl;dr I'm neutral on it). The soundtrack isn't something I'd put on my phone and listen to in the car, but like the art it's still well-made and perfectly suits the mood of/drives the emotional impact of the game, and there are still a handful of standout bangers (Lea's theme will live rent-free in my brain of course).

One last thing I'll say (that I mentioned before) is that as fun as this game is, it feels like a commitment to get through at times. Even when I first played it and had more free time, sometimes this game just felt "imposing" to pick back up after a break. Idk its hard to describe, but at least for me it was hard to play any other games alongside this (especially with my limited free time) which kinda sucked a bit.

To wrap things up, if I had to give the game an arbitrary number rating, I have to give Crosscode a 0/10 because its an indie game that doesn't have a fishing game (smh honestly how could they make such an obvious mistake 😔).

[cloudcountry]

assigning the ikepri characters love languages with my very limited knowledge of their characters because i thought it would be fun PART TWO

(part one: ikevamp)

sariel had me stumped for like twenty minutes HELP!!! i literally have no idea but uhhhhh hm. acts of service maybe. BUT ALSO WORDS OF AFFIRMATION but not in the cheesy way, in the way where he likes praising mc when she does something well C:

nokto seems like he’d be really touchy or just praise the people he cares about a lot. i’m leaning more towards praise, so words of affirmation? but honestly this man is an enigma i don’t understand HELP

leon is so physical touch coded...i am not sure what it is. he just seems like such a sweetheart that would love holding his lover and swinging them around and touching them in any way he could. very tender vibes :((( he seems so kind.

chevalier.....HMMM CHEVIE..............maybe quality time??? since he doesn't really seem to find other people all that interesting or like spending time with them. since he likes spending time alone, his time might be precious to him and sharing it with his lover could be a big deal. idk HELP

licht is a hard one but i guess physical touch? maybe? but im also getting an acts of service vibe. i know literally nothing about him though except for the fact that his route is really really sad.

clavis has the unfortunate love language of making you horrendous food (okay so yes i might have looked through my friend’s playthrough of him but that means NOTHING okay i still don’t know anything about him SHHHH) ANYWAYS an actual love language...physical touch maybe? i remember seeing somewhere that he's a leg man LMAO

rio is NOT debatable. he is words of affirmation. but yk, whatever love language you want him to have he will have. but seriously just from the prologue alone i’m convinced if words of affirmation had a definition it would just be his face.

jin seems like he would be all for physical touch!! i feel like he's one for words of affirmations too but i think he’d like holding his partner...kinda like leon but with less puppy dog energy???

yves seems like he loves giving quality time!! i’ve played a little bit of his route so obviously i know a bit more about him than i do the others right now but he takes time out of his day to make sure the mc is comfortable. just spending time with them is enough and i think that’s so sweet :C

luke is kinda tough too but i think he’d appreciate quality time? he seems to like being alone for the most part and honestly i can picture him just spending time with his lover whenever he can. he’s another one that seems really sweet honestly :C

gilbert’s love language is killing people for you /j but um actually i think maybe. quality time? vio HELP. i think he likes reading so maybe reading w him in the library. i dunno he’s got me stumped.

keith seems so sweet :(( um i think!! words of affirmation!! he seems like someone that would think he might hurt you if he touched you, so physical touch doesn’t feel right to me. he does seem like the type to whisper a soft “i love you” or hold pinkies.

silvio screams gift giving and i don’t know if this is because nobody else has given me gift giving vibes or because he seems like a rich brat type BUT. gift giving methinks. he jingles and jangles and maybe you should jingle and jangle with him

[stormyoceans]

Your answer about wandee is so relatable idgaf about yakdee/greatinn like that especially since their characters tire me out, rn theyre still in the denial stage but even when they have intimate moments smth is missing idk. They aren't bad actors nor does it seem theyre uncomfortable with each but they definitely don't have the same intimate energy as jimmysea or earthmix.

That being said thorfluke (not the thorfluke I know but the thorfluke I got) they have me coming back every week. oyei and cher act like an old married couple it's so cute, they definitely have better intimacy than yakdee and their back story? Tragic first meeting to trainer and trainee to lovers (GMM PLS GIVE ME A SPINOFF). I'm more invested in how they're gonna solve their debt issues than yakdee getting together but maybe that's just me

THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL LESS ALONE ABOUT YAKDEE AND GREATINN ANON IM SO HAPPY IT'S NOT JUST ME

it's actually interesting because i love slow burn, i love pining, i even love obliviousness, i could honestly spend dozens of episodes watching two characters just circling each other without admitting their feelings and simply not get tired of it (phumpeem in we are is currently the perfect example of this), but like you said, i do feel like something is missing when it comes to yakdee. of course part of it is due to the actors, because not even all my favorite tropes could make me like a pairing if the actors themselves can't sell the romance to me, but at the same time great chemistry isn't enough to make a story good (see pondphuwin as morkphi in futs), so i feel like what really makes the difference are the characters and whether the dynamic that's established between them works with who they are. basically all this to say that there's just something in yakdee and their slow burn that does not work out for me, at least in those first two episodes (and in all the gifsets) i've seen ;;;;;;;;

SORRY BUT 'NOT THE THORFLUKE I KNOW BUT THE THORFLUKE I GOT' IS SO FUNNY (AND SO TRUE) I'VE BEEN LAUGHING AT IT FOR THE PAST TEN MINUTES GMMTV SHOULD HAVE JUST USED THAT AS A TAG LINE

i actually did like the little i've seen of cher and oyei a lot, im always weak for a good established relationship and my favorite part of the first two episodes was indeed oyeicher making fun of yak saying he and dee are fuck buddies, but im kinda terrified at the possibility of the writers messing them up in some way for unnecessary drama, so i think that's also why i've put the show on pause, i guess im just waiting to see how things go

but as i said i do want to give the show a chance, so im definitely gonna catch up with it one of these days and then i'll have a more firm opinion of it!!!!!

[vitaminwaterreviews]

Agust D - Agust D

I haven’t done a proper hip hop album yet, so this was a cool experience. It’s obviously intended to be more lyrical than melodic overall, and learning about the background of the album feels kind of essential to understand what’s going on. So, if you’re gonna listen to this album, definitely check out the Wikipedia page first.

I think I liked the experience. I certainly enjoyed a lot of the songs, and I like the picture that the album as a whole painted. I’m not convinced by the musicality of it; I don’t think I’ll end up listening to most of these songs ever, I really had to pay attention to the lyrics to appreciate them. But a couple of them were enough that I’ll be able to enjoy them without the lyrics. Plus the last song was actually SO good. Overall rating of 7.9 but… I would kind of take that with a grain of salt. I’ve never listened to another album quite like this, so I have nothing to compare that score to, really. I think a rating of 7.5 would be more appropriate.

- So, funny story here. I never intended to listen to anything Agust D, ever. But then earlier this year, for like two weeks straight, D-Day was everywhere I looked. It was all over kpop reddit and it was all over kpop youtube and so when it finally came out, the Haegeum MV was recommended to me literally everywhere. And so I caved and watched it, and I liked it enough to listen to the album. So I saved some songs from D-Day, and that was all. Then yesterday I was like “I should check out his other titles,” so I watched Agust D and Daechwita, and I loved them. So now I’m gonna go through their respective albums and see what I can see!

Also holy shit I just opened up Reddit and the first post on my reddit is “What is being said in the beginning of Agust D?” from 8 minutes ago. If that isn’t a sign then idk what is lmao

Intro : DT sugA

Haha yep, here we go

E N E R G Y

The repetition of “STD” is funny. Like, is he aware of what STD means in english? Surely. But also it’s a pun, he’s Suga from TD. So he is STD, and also Agust D. Wordplay!

Also maybe I should watch lyric videos for these songs, considering it’s mostly rap…

8/10, I do tend to rate intros and interludes highly

Agust D

The MV is so cool. Like, it’s not just trying to be cool: it IS cool

He’s actually such a good rapper. Like I just love the way that words sound when they come out of his mouth

Lyrically, it’s kind of what you’d expect. “I’m great and you’re dumb, fuck all the haters, I’m a real rapper and way better than you too”

8/10. Very good, fun, but I want a bit more from it

give it to me

Woahhh the bell

Also this bass

Also this beat

I love the laugh

(I’ll probably be typing a Lot less because I’m spending more time looking at the lyrics)

7/10

Skit

Oh lol is this literally a skit?

Omg it is that’s so funny

Bro two orders of ribs? Oh I guess if it’s for both of you

Omg he’s totally breaking the 4th wall

“Yankie hyunh” lmao

Okay wait, do I even rate this? I guess I should

9/10, really really cool inclusion, fits the theme of the album well.

724148

Bassy, alright

He keeps referencing bang si hyuk, that’s neat

So far this album seems to be more lyrical than anything, but I’m not totally convinced by the musicality of it. Maybe I’d rate it higher if it was in English, but also, I know what he can do. He’s got more levels to go from this.

7/10

140503 at dawn

Lol he’s moaning like

Oh he’s typing

Lol

7/10

The Last

Do you hear that bass drum?

We do appreciate rapping about mental health issues

9/10

Tony Montana (feat. Yankie)

Ohh it’s Jimin? That’s neat

It’s snowing outside! Pretty

Interesting soundscape

Who tf is Tony Montana then?

“A fictional character and the villain-protagonist of the 1983 film Scarface”

“Embodying the possibility of a person rising from the bottom of society to the top, Tony Montana has become a cultural icon, as well as one of the most iconic film characters of all time.”

6/10 tbh. It’s FIne but definitely my least favorite so far

Interlude : Dream, Reality

Ok, a bit more mellow now are we?

8/10, solid interlude, fit the album, and a nice break from all the intensity

so far away (feat. SURAN)

Oh, we’re ending mellow too

Nvm, we’re ending powerful

Love the guitar solo too

I really don’t know whether to rate this a 9 or a 10. It was so so good. And I genuinely can’t think of anything it could’ve done better, so…

10/10

[raincamp]

08 05 2023

shall i talk about the dreaded intake appointment from thursday? the one i spent weeks avoiding? the one that's been the catalyst for my intense feelings of grief and rage for the past month?

uneventful, absolutely nothing happened, there was no fucking justifiable reason why i was so adamantly against it, why i made myself go through so much pain just to avoid doing it. my paranoia got the best of me again

the dude's fine and has made no effort to piss me off so far. he graciously took the third-chair in my treatment team, and refers to my primary therapist as if she's the one he's reporting to— because he is— and i really appreciate his recognition of the hierarchy here.

he said something like "i totally understand that you dont want to be here and you're just here to tick a box so you can get back to work with [primary therapist]," after i expressed my disinterest in his treatment plans. like. thank you for acknowledging the fact that i dont want to work with you, at all, and am here against my will.

he does IFS which I didn't know beforehand, i've actually always wanted to try IFS but prioritized DBT because i know that it works for me already. so im excited to try that? surprisingly? or at least just learn more about it. im a therapy nerd what can i say? i could talk about it for hours. i have talked about it for hours before, i have spent entire sessions talking meta about therapy.

idk why but i was kind of paranoid he would try to replace my PT but he hasnt made any effort to do so. i was able to talk about her, and mention superficially how my relationship with her has been a trigger for my cough dependence cough and like, it was kind of weird talking to a therapist about my sessions with another therapist? but he was totally chill with it, didn't say anything like "maybe you two aren't a good fit" (we are though) like the people at the hospital did. it was refreshing to say the least

hes very Christian though, went to my dad's rival Catholic highschool, has mentioned me doing 12 step, im a bit hesitant to trust for these reasons. he mentioned how he thinks addiction is a lack of spiritual completion or whatever, i think thats total absolute bullshit and i'm gonna tell him that the next session that i don't spend 76% of the time dissociating while he talks

hes a lot more personable than im used to, he started the intake by spending 8 minutes self-disclosing information about himself, which was such a weird experience to me. he told me he has a family and children and a wife, i have literally never had a therapist tell me about their home life before unless it was in context of my treatment.

another thing thats annoying me is lack of admistrative coordination. i was supposed to get emailed an ROI for my PT yesterday (still haven't) and a signed excuse note so that i can actually go to my session with my PT next week, and if I don't get those im fucked. like. i'm actually going to be so mad if his lack of organization prevents me from being able to see her. i am going to stab him.

he also has a lot less boundaries than im used to which i feel like might be a recipe for disaster considering the fact that im borderline. he mentioned in detail how he doesn't like the power imbalance between therapists and clients and how he thinks it should be more like we're on equal ground. he described this visually with his fingers interlacing. and like, i get it, but also, i need that seperation there. i need therapists to recognise that i cannot keep myself from becoming attached, and create that distance between us, and keep those little boundaries stable and reinforced so that i don't get triggered or somehow fuck up the relationship with my symptoms. yk?

like we can have a close therapeutic relationship without making it so that we're on equal ground or enmeshed with each other as per interlacing-finger-visual-description.

the lack of boundaries just worries me. like he just gave me his phone number and was like "text me if you need me" like do you realize that if there ever comes a time that my PT has abandoned me and i need help, you have now opened yourself up to me spam texting and/or splitting on you over the phone? i already abuse my phone coaching privileges and annoy the fuck out of my PT, if there weren't by-the-book boundaries in place with DBT our therapeutic relationship would have gone to shit by now. he also kept me 15 minutes over time even though he had another client after me? if i were that client I would've split on him and left. its giving unprofessionalism.

im definitely going to have to make him set clear boundaries with me, for saving my own dignity.

i dont hate him rn tho i think thats the most important thing

- andrew

[mellow-worlds]

It's weird. I don't know how I feel. Languid? Yeah, kinda. I guess I feel ok, I haven't been thinking about sudoku today, and hardly during the past few days. Tho I do want to just stay at home.

This also puzzles me, I have been doing some of the things people recommend doing to "get your life together" or whatever. I worked out today, did the laundry, read a little, showered and did some other things over the span of these few days. I don't know if I enjoy it? I read very few pages and worked out maybe ten minutes tops. I'm glad I did it, it's absolutely better than nothing, but I still... Idk? I didn't really enjoy doing it, it doesn't fulfil me and it was hard. In the past, I have liked working out and I'd say I generally love literature. Actually, reading today was just hard because I really had to concentrate (even though I felt like half of the contents still went over my head). I'm currently reading the Picture of Dorian Gray and I got to a very philosophical passage. Asides from that, Wilde's language is hard for me to read with ease.

So idk, I feel a certain dispassion towards these things that I do. Most of the day I do spend in bed, so maybe I should consider changing that. But what else would I do? Hmm, going for walks. Approaching friends myself if I want to meet up. Practicing the piano. And ofc apathetically staring at my computer screen. Idk... I don't really feel like doing any of these.

Speaking of which, tomorrow I'm meeting *that* person. To make it easier for me, I'll be calling them Snoopy. Idk... thinking about whatever it is we're doing does make me go :( I don't like it. I enjoy their proximity and spending time with them, but it feels so wrong. Whatever we got ourselves into, it was meant to not last. It never was meant to be. I had so many doubts from the beginning. In fact, there used to be a time where I would start shivering when thinking about them. Like crazy. And I used to avoid them purposefully.

It's so weird... They told me that they'd found me interesting for a pretty long time and I COULDN'T tell you why. I asked them, but got no useful answer. I didn't really phrase my question that directly, so it might be my fault. Anyway. Idk. It's weird. I still wonder. Why would anybody want to talk to me? Back then, when they claim to have started to like me, we've never really had a conversation. None of this makes sense to me. They said they thought I was cute?????? I didn't want to mention it because that makes it feel more... real? And braggy? AH idk idk idk.

It's wrong for me to spend time with Snoopy. I could never meet their needs. They have kinda noticed, and mentioned a lot, that they're always the one to approach the other person and asking to hang out. Honestly, most of the times when I see that they have texted, I wait up to two hours before responding because... I don't know. Maybe it's because I want to make them tihnk that there's a reason I "can't" hang out with them every day all day? Because they don't really know the truth, that being, me sitting in bed all day. Idk... And maybe it's because of this feeling that I'm trying to describe? That I don't really want to meet them despite really enjoying their company?

To be fair, I think that love is a social construct and maybe that is causing me to withdraw from getting too intimate and allowing this to be something serious? Or even giving it a name? Though it "being something serious" is also, in my opinion, just a societal uhm... thing. Which means that I really like talking to them, but... Idk. I do think about them a lot. Anyway. Let's drop that.

What's kind of messed up is that I've been thinking about how I can let them know that not seeing each other in this way any more would be the best. They've got no idea, or so I think, that I'm like this. Or... they've got a hunch. But they kinda do see me as a quell of endless positivity. Which... ig I am, except not endless. I don't want to hurt them, is my point. I don't want them to hate me. I wish we could just... never have met? And maybe still be on good terms with each other after I somehow let them know that I'm just too stupid for this to be a good idea. So uhm one method I came up with, which is the messed up part, is to get more depressed, if you can even call it that. Idk. Just uhm. Not being all that happy around them anymore. And uhm. Idk. They'd notice, I think. I don't know if I'd be able to pull it off, though, since I do enjoy talking to them. And I really, really don't want to be rude. I wish I could be upfront, but this is not really something that I could tell them, right? They'd be too supportive. And I just... I'd be so much easier if they hated me. Or never had spoken to me in the first place. I'm such a loser, anyway. And we're actually so... incompatible, if you think about it. I don't really want to talk about that rn, though, since I fear it'll make them sound less likeable, which isn't really the case, if you know them personally.

Despite all this, I keep thinking about what could be if only I weren't so stupid. They're the type of person you could do loads and loads of fun and stupid stuff with. And I kinda did want to meet 2 of the friends they sometimes tell me about. IDKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I want all of this to end, it fills me with more self-doubt than I'd like to experience. And ofc the thought "I should just unalive myself" keeps flashing in my head because I'm so stupid and selfish and narrow-minded and at this point I think that my brain is just trying to be edgy. Because I'm oh so cool.

I don't really want to meet them tomorrow. Or ever again. This is all my fault.

[drevnian-smol]

Personal Harley Quinn Show (HBO) Rant

Maybe I’m just a little bitch but I would actually like to see Harley struggle with falling back into bad habits more. Like I think I stopped watching s3 bc her life was honestly too together. Which, I know.

But we see so little of her back and forth because Ivy’s always there and the show runners want a good lesbian relationship, which is totally justified. But with the characters Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, stable is the last thing I expected. Like yeah, totally they’d balance each other out and have consistency, but Harley would still be bouncing off the walls every 5 minutes no matter what Ivy does, and no matter how many dogs or cats Harley shoves in Ivy’s face, deep down all Ivy’s thinking about is destroying human kind, sans Harley. So I’m just really confused by how actually on the same page the two of them are because I’ve never met any two people like that, and maybe it’s possible, but why are they so calm??? I know them to be two characters that spontaneously implode at times and I guess I started finding it more difficult to relate to them the more domestic and mature they got, but I’m also sad that Psycho’s gone.

Not like, really sad, but I miss seeing an asshole every few scenes. It was refreshing and realistic, and honestly I started finding myself more tolerant of others because of him, in some weird way. So the other part that bothers me is that there’s less of a split of focus, which I know is stupid when the show is supposed to be Harley Quinn’s, but it’s basically the Harley and Ivy show already so why can’t I ask for more plots focusing on other characters. The personas they had chosen for others like Batman and the Freezer guy with the dying wife that I’ve temporarily forgotten the name of, are really interesting, and I liked seeing this big entertaining world Harley was exploring. Plus, I think this is a chance to display that weird juxtaposition of how backwards the Gotham culture is and how it’s actually very similar to what modern day culture is becoming, from a broad perspective at least.

And last, I shall speak of sacrilege and say, I don’t think Harley being tempted by Joker is the worst idea plot wise. Like yeah, she’s happy. Yeah, she has no reason to go back. But she’s gonna be growing more distant from Ivy now, just because they can’t spend as much time together, which allows for pervasive thoughts that would just escalate with time. So I don’t think the writers should take a “never going back there” approach and maybe have it be something Harley confronts again. Maybe she doesn’t give in, maybe she never really wants to, but maybe she remembers what it was like to be with him, remembers how he treated her, and begins to doubt the life she has with Ivy (not because he was good). And then Ivy can be there for her, and she can overcome it again. But Joker isn’t something that can just disappear from Harley’s life. Yeah, she has a lot of experience with repression, but we all have those things that just find you time and time again. The kinds of things you confront time and time again in your life, that you get better at overcoming, but still have to face it.

I think real growth for Harley would come from that kind of awareness, to have strength in the face of everything without repressing or ignoring or deluding. I think that might be why I stopped understanding Harley after a certain point, because it seemed like after the first 2 seasons she had really moved on and I didn’t recognize any of the struggles I’ve had in my life anymore. So I guess, I just want her to be more human. Maybe I’m weird, but… idk the show just left me feeling emotionally unresolved more than once.

Also side note, Sy was the craziest person in the show and it should’ve stayed that way.

[firespirited]

Argh it ended on the worst kind of cliffhanger!! I can just about forgive them for not knowing what a gift 23 episode seasons were back then (and they'd been promised a slot opposite the X-files that never happened so they had high hopes when they were outlining the show).

Still not over Dark Matter ending on a super downer of a cliffhanger just because they liked twists. By that point, with TVs record with sci-fi and fantasy, it's just reckless writing to not write self contained seasons. So yeah, I didn't even bother checking in with Killjoys after that and noped out of Winona Earp for playing the same games. And when The Expanse came around, tuned in with the understanding that there were books if the show fell through.

I often wonder how far they'll get with the Dune movies - as much as I'd like to see Jason Momoa set for life (he plays Duncan Idaho) really think they should go with animation to best capture the trippiness and be able to actually continue the stories in a format that's less of a slog than the books.

Okay back to Space Above and Beyond : what an odd mix. At times it seems to buy in to the war glory myths, at others it dares to show how soldiers are treated as disposable and breakable, conditioned to not ever think about the bigger picture. The season starts to drag towards the middle with endless war and no answers only to do a big switcheroo at the end where our guys actually think for themselves and then another twist implying the worst ending as a cliffhanger. They have an episode suggesting suicide bombing is honourable actually (not that I entirely disagree but you never see that in American media) then one about how the bravest thing at war is to stay alive. The war history they draw from is maybe 60% accurate 40% legend. There's a weird Christmas episode and a really weird native American episode. Psychic abilities are brought up once then never again. Nobody seems to be attempting to translate or study the alien enemy in any way until the last two episodes. They really thought they were getting multiple seasons, baffling, it luxuriates in starting actual plots twenty minutes into an episode after spending that first half groping around a dark desert or swamp or a field of explosions but then you'll get a really meaningful five minutes of these folks just sitting talking - not dumping information just reacting and taking the time to let emotions settle or boil.

It's a really mixed bag: lots of potential, lots of fumbles and since I have no interest in space fights I can't say if they aged well or not. The best direct comparison is Battlestar Galactica with a similar soldiers' in battle point of view, at least for the first season. You do get the sense that writers had different agendas for the show and maybe even their own internal conflicts about the military.

All in all not much sci-fi despite the setting. Diversity is stellar for the time while also bungling some of the bigotry allegories and being very very straight despite clear chemistry and opportunities to explore more complex emotional issues first. Like idk ptsd affecting your ability to open up for example 🤔 choices were made with the RnR episode, possibly the worst choices for that character who gets five new issues to unpack and we never do. 😬😵💀

Begun watching Space: Above and Beyond from 1995, a Morgan and Wong (you may know them from the X-files) story that becomes more character driven after the initial action episodes. Streaming was buggy, torrent was large (600mb per file would take weeks to seed) but a wonderful youtuber has done an HD remaster (x). Bless the telephone internet. 💐🙌💐

[romanromulus]

the thing is like. i think marvel should stay in its lane. it doesn’t want to take the time to tell nuanced stories, so it shouldn’t. if you feel the need to gloss over anything that might resemble a moment of catharsis, just like. maybe keep it surface level. like yeah, unfortunately I DO believe stories have a responsibility to the people who consume those stories. sorry