#i take it as true fuckjng love

[tekitothemagpie]

His eye thingy literally disappeared when he saw Bakugo.

He got calmer as soon as he saw his Kacchan alive.

[stackslip]

funniest and saddest thing in akis arc is right after aki meets kishibe after returning from hokaido and kishibe is like man living with them has to be a handful WHICH IS COMPLETELY TRUE we just followed a whole chapter of denji and power being utterly insufferable. like the absolute worst most exhausting duo of feral kids who aki cannot leave unsupervised for 5 seconds before they start eating week-old funerary offerings because as chaotic as they are individually as a duo they literally become 5 year olds who chop off limbs for fun. and akis like reluctantly WELL yeah theyre awful but like, theyve done so much progress, power no longer flings veggies across the room and very occasionally once in a blue moon denji actually pays attention to what i say. its so fucking funny kishibe is like "man youre a saint theyre exhausting. i mean i like them but boy are they tiring." and instead of bitching about it and agreeing aki fucking DEFENDS them. like "they dont shit over the furniture anymore, thats big progress, im proud of them." the bar is so low but listen theyre doing their best.

:readmore:

and then its followed by the immediate gobsmacking bitchslap of aki asking kishibe if he can abandon his life-long dream by withdrawing the trio from the gun devil expedition. his sole goal in life for years, it is so close, and he knows he has so little time left at all, and he gives it all up there and then. right after his trip with power and denji, the one they bullied him to join in. right after having to scold them and rein them in for two days straight like toddlers. less than a month after being confronted with the possibility of a world where neither of them are alive, and realizing that he cannot bear that possibility. it doesnt matter that he would be able to die finally fulfilling his dream of destroying the gun devil, of avenging all his losses, of going in peace. the idea of denji and power dying there, or being left with nothing when hes gone... its enough for him to give it all up. he's willing to spend whatever time is left seeing them fuck up his apartment and squabbling and just.... living, free of fear or danger. his sole goal now is to die with the certainty that they will both have a long and happy existence, that he'll have protected them and fulfilled his role as an older brother. he is fine with dying still! he has accepted it as long as theyre ok. he saw these two gremlins who were supposed to be everything he hated, he grudgingly himself take care of them bc he was asked to, grew used to them being in his life. and then he grew to love them, to love how much denji enjoyed his cooking, to love how power played with her cat, to enjoy their squabbling and appreciate the efforts they did make. these two feral strays with no manners grew to trust and rely on him, they started sharing the chores (with much complaining) and allowed themselves to be vulnerable with him, they clung to him when he wanted to leave for hokkaido. and aki fucking gives up on revenge! he gives up on fighting! he will not live for much longer, but he wont spend his remaining time on taking down the creature that has haunted his life. because he isnt alone now, he has a family hes grown to love and who loves him. he will spend these last few weeks teaching denji to cook himself, making sure power learns healthy eating habits. he will sit at the table and share meals with them and savour every last moment. its the only thing he wishes for anymore, he has nothing else, and yet he has more than he ever thought possible.

he finally allowed himself to love, to give up on revenge, to be at peace. its fuckjng gutwrenching that makima took that away from him, that he died not only as what he hated, but burdened with the knowledge that it was too late and that his family would suffer. he was willing to give everything over and over again, spent his last minutes begging for a way for power and denji to be happy. for power to live, for denji to not be burdened with grief and guilt. he never blamed denji when the future devil told him about how aki would die, he inherently knew that it would not be of the boys own volition and that it would wreck him. mere minutes left, spent begging for power and denjis lives. he didnt even get to realize or fight back, he didnt get to say goodbye. he died a mockery of himself, turned into an instrument of pain against his family. he died as a shambling corpse whose instincts guided him home, only to unknowingly destroy that home. he died because from the very start, makima *intended* him to love power and denji and take care of them, she was building this edifice so that the collapse would be that much more devastating. he died because makima understood the power and pain of real relationships and love, and it was all in the goal of punishing denji for being chosen by pochita. it was all because she never had it herself, and wanted it so badly, and aki and power were merely dolls for her to get what she thought she deserved. its so fucking cruel and evil and it is so fucking tragic for everyone involved including her.

but man akis arc is not "a lesson in the futility of revenge" or a punishment for his early singlemindedness. he did realize these things. he had them in his hands. he was going to succeed, he was protecting his family until the end. it's just that makimas control was so absolute, her chains so strong, he never had a chance anyway. none of them ever did!

[vampacidic]

throwing him right back atcha

sakuma rei the one and only ☆

• fave thing?

GRBRRGRRRRRR LIKE ALL OF HIM? LIKE ALL OF IT. particularly i really love the "oh i am jsut stupid and old :(" persona even though he completely knows what's going on. so fuckin true

• least fave thing?

can i say fans LMAO a lot of people do not like. get the point of him is that he's impossible to understand because he's so used to adapting himself to other people's expectations. ok in canon i am like. i don't know?? i think he should be pathetic more. that time he called tsumugi a cuck was kinda weird too

• favorite line

"is it that outrageous for me to want to live a normal life and be happy as a single human? am i arrogant for wanting to live my life for my own sake?" i literally can't tell you how fuckjng crazy crossroads makes me feel

• brOTP

i love his dynamic with the twins they're so cute... advising them so they don't end up like him and ritsu. crying sobbing

• OTP

reikao ☹️☹️ i've been obsessed with them for years at this point. also i'm quite fond of watarei + reishu i think they're cute. kanata can also be included as a treat. reikei is also fun i love them. i think i like just about every rei ship in some way

• nOTP

i have a very very VERY specific reikoga dynamic i will accept and it is almsot never present in fanon content so i do not LIKE IT. i love their canon dynamic though. also shout out to tanpopochans on twitter they get it (it's also really funny when you read doujins when they were written because of how they write the dynamic)

• random headcanon

he's always cold so he either has 68 layers on or he clings to his friends like they're a space heater. this causes everyone to think he's dating his friends (he's not he's just a freak and really physically affectionate)

• unpopular opinion

i think i'm the only one who understands him OKAY but actually. i think he's unsexy. he's sexy in an unsexy way yknow. sexy in a 'i want to take care of him when he's sick but i would not have sex with him' kinda way

• song associated

hmmm i have a couple. 'in my room' (insane clown posse) came from an edit of him i saw once so whenever i listen to it im just like oh like rei. 'all dolled up' (the orion express) doesn't really have anything to do with him in canon just my own personal interpretation. 'don't threaten me with a good time' (p!atd) is a 2nd year rei song because i said so

• favorite picture

you get 2 as a treat. number one is rei autism creature i drew when i was feeling depressed number (featuring anzu) two is just one i very much appreciate

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au pt 9

post directory

obsetress: ready ok ot4 hc incoming

em: ot4! ot4! ot4

obsetress: after dani breaks up with her viola cuts all her hair off n it's the first impulsive thing she's ever allowed herself to do in her whole life (which should also tell you exactly how fucked up she was by it) n so then we have

obsetress: short curly hair viola

em: what is wrong with you

em: oh i love a dramatic haircut as a motif

obsetress: by the time she and rebecca start hooking up it's grown into a long bob and she keeps that for a while tbh because like

obsetress: viola has impulses all the time but she either: suppresses them, or thinks about them and then does them to the point where they can no longer be considered impulsive

obsetress: vs um

obsetress: dani has impulses all the time and used to suppress them but then fully leaned into

obsetress: charging headfirst into whatever the fuck (vp speech ref sheds a tear)

em: OTP: dont you wanna go apeshitt

obsetress: and thinking about how people change u and rub off on u for the better even after they leave

obsetress: viola: wants to go apeshitt

obsetress: viola: thinks about going apeshitt, thinks about all the ways it would benefit her, thinks about how she would enjoy it even if it did not in any way benefit her

obsetress: viola: yes ok don't you wanna go apeshitt

em: no but i am i am thinking abt like. dani and viola as both sort of? dragged into being housewives and homemakers because Women n viola didn’t really have the power to change her situation (even if she got isabel out of it!) and dani actually managed to call it off

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: grits teeth

obsetress: once again crying over very intentional very deliberate danvi parallels that no one else wants to talk about and i think even in this au right

obsetress: viola is socialized in such a specific space that this can very much still be true

obsetress: and i think like part of what draws her to dani is exactly that––that dani had the freedom to do that much sooner––but also she resents dani for exactly that too

obsetress: even when they're together, and that's the possession piece too

obsetress: i think a part of her thinks if she can't do it for herself she can have it for herself and that's close enough

obsetress: like she v much covets dani

em: ah the unique way that lesbians fuck each other up bc of living in a homophobic and misogynistic society

em:i mean who doesn’t covet danis ass

obsetress: literally and metaphorically

obsetress: and part of dani definitely knows that but part of dani (at least until she doesn't) likes it

obsetress: (also this is kinda what i was getting at w my insane lil pwp alfjadslf but i think it tracks here too)

obsetress: because she's like "well this is what it's supposed to be but it didn't work with eddie because i don't like men but now i'm with a woman and this is how it's supposed to be"

obsetress: "and i like being wanted it's nice to be wanted by someone i want for once"

obsetress: but yeah thinking a lot about the danvi dynamic once again

obsetress: viola short curly hair to viola long bob

obsetress: YEAH I JSUT

obsetress: WENT TO HER INSTA TO FIND

obsetress: AND THEN GOT

obsetress: SO DISTRACTD

[em note: edited out a 30 minute tangent going through pictures from kates instagram]

obsetress: so anyway the whole point of this. long bob viola

obsetress: rebecca loves long bob viola she rly loves um. sitting on her lap and running her fingers back through her hair

obsetress: when she and dani see each other again for the first time dani's all "oh. you cut your... hair" and vi's like "i did" and dani's like "it, um. looks... it looks... good?"

em: i think it’s nice when viola does something for herself :)

obsetress: it's nice :)

obsetress: i'm happy for her :)

obsetress: wish she didn't have to look so much hotter though :)

obsetress: don't make that face, babe, it's fine :)

obsetress: you know i love you :)

em: WAIT

em: dani had a fucking moment. she’s like

obsetress: oh dani likes her girls w curly hair huh

em: counting on her fingers. how many ppl has she dated w

em: YEAH

obsetress: YEAHDLKFJSLDFDFJSLDFj

em: CURLY BROWN HAIR

obsetress: OH MGOD EDDIE TOO

obsetress: NOT JUST GIRLS

obsetress: aw baby has a type

em: so actually it is DANI who ends up w the strongest routine

em: just short bob hair viola sitting next to jamie and dani has a fuckjng. out of body experience. perceives herself a little too hard

obsetress: she's just. staring

obsetress: mouth def hanging open

obsetress: then someone's like "dani? dani?" and she's blinking like five times in a row and sitting up straight

obsetress: but she does def have that moment at brunch

em: jamie doesn’t twig it

em: violas like. violas got a keen eye for anyone ‘copying’ her style. raises one devastating eyebrow

obsetress: dani and vi devastating eyebrow partners n crime

obsetress: later that night, in bed: jamie?

jamie: wot?

dani: do i have a type?

obsetress: jamie immediately wants to jump to no because how could she have anything in common w––

obsetress: oh. oh

em: jamie’s lil wispy premature greys set her apart

em: ‘jamie HATES it when she has things in common w viola’ is my favourite bit sjddkhd

obsetress: jamie "not sure how viola has no greys n she's how much older than me again" taylor

em: dani realises she actually has. no idea how old viola is

em: barely even knows a birthday

em: maybe viola even has like. a decoy birthday

em: queen of being mysterious for the drama of it all

obsetress: "she's just too stubborn to grey is all" "i'm stubborn!" "mm" "wossat supposed to mean" "you're..." "i'm what" "you like to... pretend? you're stubborn" "pretend i'm–– i am!" "jamie, i asked you to repark the car because i didn't want to get out of bed and it's street cleaning day and you immediately jumped up to do it even though you can barely parallel park"

em: WHIPPED

obsetress: jamie's quiet for a long time then, softly: "can parallel park just fine"

obsetress: "mm"

obsetress: whipped as hell

obsetress: this led me to everyone making dani or viola parallel park all the time when they go anywhere

obsetress: hc dani is a Very Good driver. idk why but it tickles me

em: i think um. dani is v independent and wants to be able to do things herself

em: and i think she probably got her license before eddie, but as soon as eddie got his....

obsetress: and dani's better than him n got a better score than him, and yet

em: and yet!

em: they swap out being deso driver if they’re gonna be drinking. or jsut call a taxi lmao

em: i’m so endeared by Extremely Good Driver Dani

em: dani does a reverse park without thinking

obsetress: viola loves her martinis n dani is drunk off of half a glass of sangria

obsetress: same!!!!!!!

obsetress: also just like. imagining

obsetress: dani checking all her mirrors

em: no

em: HANNAH

obsetress: and adjusting everything so fastidious

obsetress: OH GOD

obsetress: i didn't––

em: i jumped

em: phew it’s actually cute

obsetress: yeah! dw i'm not sick

em: well

obsetress: she just goes through her whole lil checklist and is so meticulous and precise

em: jamies like ‘we’re the same height’ and danis like ‘well.’

obsetress: oh god the four of them driving to the seaside for a vacation together (lots of content to mine here, will have to put a pin in most of it because i am getting sleepy) but they end up taking the truck much to vi’s chagrin just because it can hold the most

obsetress: (like viola doesn’t have a range rover but listen it needs to be dani n jamie’s car for this to work)

obsetress: and vi and rebecca are sitting in the back and then rebecca’s frowning and blinking and digging a headband out of the seat between them and viola immediately just. knows

obsetress: she’s like “dani?” “mm?” “you and jamie... have cleaned your car recently, right?” (jamie’s chiming in: “i’m right here, vi, you can address me too,” viola pointedly ignores her) “um... maybe a couple months ago? why?” “well,” and vi pokes her disdainfully with the headband, “can you at least tell me you’ve had it cleaned between whenever this got stuck between the seats and rebecca and me sitting here now?”

obsetress: dani just GRINS sheepishly

obsetress: “i could tell you that, but...” “but?” dani mumbles “it would be a lie”

obsetress: anyway dunno why vi’s that upset about having to sit in the backseat where dani n jamie hooked up, like, last week when it’s not like she and rebecca haven’t been inside the two of them respectively but it’s absolutely the kind of contrarian shit she’d choose to be pressed about and it makes me laugh so

[pompoms-bones]

Woah huge rant about ana community!!

I hate that I ever came to ana tumblr. Before i came here, I was in recovery for a similar case of anorexia, but nowhere NEAR as bad as it is now. One day my ed thoughts got the best of me, and all of the sudden i was waist deep in ana tumblr. Pretty much every moment of my life was once again focused on food and calorie counting. I got so deep into it, in fact, that I started to think people saying “ana communities are toxic” were just flat out wrong. My time on ana tumblr made me realize that the people saying “ana tumblr is pro ana,” are actually right.

You can say it was my fault for coming here, “they weren’t responsible for triggering you.” I suppose in a sense you’d be right. But I know that ALL of you know how difficult it is to get out of an ana-based cycle. When food and being thin is the only goddamn thing on your mind, it becomes a genuine STRUGGLE to not browse ana forums and ana communities. You learn to like triggering yourself because its “motivating.” It honestly does feel good to know others have damaging thoughts just like you. You end up wanting it to be your entire lifestyle. You just cant stop logging on. A community that claims to not be proana shouldnt be causing thousands, if not millions of people to dive deeper and deeper into their eating disorders.

I hate that even though i wouldn’t wish anorexia anybody, me posting ana thoughts on this site literally makes me pro ana. I’m literally furthering peoples eating disorders, and even though it’s the last thing I could ever want, in this situation I am solely to blame for triggering others. It’s the same way that I will follow people who post their anorexic thoughts so I can further motivate my own eating disorder. I can say all I want that I’m using this account to cope, and even though that’s true, I feel like other people’s safety is way more important than me coping in... probably the unhealthiest way possible. I’m indirectly helping to ruin so many peoples lives by posting my ana thoughts and shit. This isn’t a recovery community like i’ve seen so many people claim- if it was, then a majority would be posting tips to recover, not reblogging tips to avoid binging after a 7-day fast. Ana tumblr is “follow each other and trigger yourself” and that’s just the truth.

Of course not everyone purposefully triggers themselves- some people genuinely want to recover and follow RECOVERY ana blogs. It’s awful they even have to have recovery in the name. Ana tumblr should be about recovery and a huge majority of it ISNT. It’s awful that I, and so many others, would go out of the way to avoid recovery blogs because it doesn’t fuel our eds. I’m so used to everything here fueling my ed that I genuinely don’t even want to get better. I see people eat 300 cal a day and think I’m not doing good enough. I see people exercise themselves into the negative calorie zone and think I’m not doing good enough. There are posts that are genuinely harmless that I can relate to and chuckle at and I feel like that’s fine- cope through humor. But holy fuckjng cow all I see is people shaming themselves for eating healthily and all I’m taking from it is “everybody deserves to eat that and be healthy :) and I deserve to eat fucking nothing because I don’t deserve to injest anything at all.” Forums like myproana are called pro ana because. it is. The topics are tips for being anorexic; how to be anorexic and avoid certain diseases, strategies for maintaining terrible diets, tips on what exercises burn the most calories, low-cal recipes perfect for keeping you in your calorie range, just straight up bonespo, and, ykno, just so much awful shit. That stuff BELONGS on a website called myproana because it’s clearly pro ana. You know what’s on ana tumblr? Strategies for starving and not binging, tips on what exercises burn the most calories, low-cal recipes perfect for staying within your calorie range, bonespo but mainly thinspo. A Lot of Thinspo.

We are no better than a site fucking CALLED MyProAna- so why do we act like we are?

Anyways, there’s only 15 of you, but to everyone who sees my feed, i’m truly sorry for triggering all of you. i’m sorry for fueling all of your eds. i’m sorry for never posting about recovery. i’m sorry for never even trying to encourage recovery through my posts. i don’t regret much, but if i could go back and stop anything it’d be the creation of this blog. anorexia sucks. bulimia sucks. binge eating disorder sucks. all eating disorders suck. i wish you all the best in your recoveries- your life shouldn’t end because you were afraid of eating an extra slice of bread or even a teaspoon extra of sugar. you deserve love, support, recovery, and most importantly, food. If you make the decision to recover, always remember that its okay to have bad days. healing is never linear, but i know you’ll make it. one day you won’t have to obsess over food. you won’t say no to hanging out with your friends just because there will be food there. you won’t be scared of family, eat-at-the-table, dinners.

I’m dipping for good. I’m going to eat 3 meals tomorrow and feel good about myself. Idk what I plan to do with this account yet, but I know I’m never going to come back. I won’t let myself continue to harm myself. I wish you all the best of luck :) stay safe everybody and know that you deserve so much more than you know.

[drbjdavisstrategiesforchange]

This is ALL stuff you read about Jillian and Ryan. It's being taken care of and these people are creeps. I mean just Google Jillian and watch the videos her voice her videos and the things that she says the proof is in the pudding there you go it's fairly simple and it's repeatedly for a long time and it's apparent she's a real weird person and a real sexual deviant and a violator of dogs children and animals and human beings old young and she will violate all and any...

Attention. Check all references and know your #Counselor or #Therapist as this lady was found to use her licensed position to attract potential victims and their dogs thru meeting with addicts and partaking in drugs and engaging in acts of #bestiality as she was Convicted of Bestiality in 2019 in #Sacramento CA for having sexual relations with dogs while she was #PREGNANT.Beware of this lady. #JillianLeAnnQuistJones an #AddictionCounselor at

#StrategiesForChange

4441 Auburn Blvd Ste. E 95841 Sacramento, CA,

916-473-5764

916-705-1643 Jillianjns@icloud.com

#NPI1598305518

Be very careful with this Lady Jillian Jones aka Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones aka Vanna Sweets. CONVICTED of Bestiality on 2019 for engaging in acts of a Sexual nature with DOGS WHILE PREGNANT AND also guilty of KINKING out MAKENNA & ALLISON QUIST ALL OVER PORN VIDEOS ONLINE IN KINK ROLEPLAY.

Sacramento CA Prostitute Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones aka Vanna Sweets KINKED OUT HER ENTIRE FAMILY & CHEATED WITH DOGS!

CONVICTED if Bestiality on 2019 for FUCKING DOGS WHILE PREGNANT AND IM SURE HER SON APPRECIATES THAT!! JILLIAN KINKED OUT MAKENNA & ALLISON QUIST ALL OVER PORN VIDEOS ONLINE IN KINK ROLEPLAY & HAD THOSE FUCK HOLES DEMOLISHED!!

If you are a freak kink violator like Jillian and Ryan then Jillian is your gal and

Make sure you set your appt w/ #SlurpyDogPussy #DoggySlut over at #StrategiesForChange in #Sacramento schedule ur #DogDick #AddictionCounselor appt w/ #JillianLeAnnQuistJones 4441 Auburn Blvd Ste. E Sacramento, CA #NPI1598305518 916-705-1643 916-473-5764

jillianjns@icloud.com

(916) 550-5444

#StrategiesForChange #AddictionCounselor #JillianLeAnnQuistJones Convicted of #Bestiality in 2019 for fucking Dogs while pregnant #Sacramento CA

Then found out JILLIAN IS ALSO A PROSTITUTE WHO GOES BY NAME VANNA SWEETS & KINKS MAKENNA & ALLISON QUIST OUT IN ROLEPLAY PORN VIDEOS!

#RealKinksters know #classicKinks are truly the BEST! I.E

#INCEstRolePlay & #KinkGames like #HymenAndSeek #ForeskinAndSeek #RolePlayGoneWild #RolePlayGoneALLBad #KinkOutNames & you have #NoDaughters & #NoKids so it's always better that you #RolePlay fake & non existant peeps in #daddyDaughterRolePlay Unit #4 Bring ALL and ANY and let's have a BLAST AND GET #KINKEDOUT And Everyone have a #SlurpySloppyGoodTime as #MakennaQuist & #AllisonQuist get #KinkedOut in #JillianLeAnnQuistJones #RolePlay Debacle & Morning Twisted Fetish But HEY ITS JUST ROLEPLAY SO RELAX EVERYONE! PLUS JILLIAN HAS #NoDaughters #NoKidsOnly Teal True Blue Kinksters and Real Weird SEXUAL Deviants like Jillian Quist Jones and Ryan Quist types shall attend. Jillian aka Sacramento Prostitute Vanna Sweets taking it HARD AND FAST IN #ALLholes #ALLways #ALLdicks and #ALLday ALL SIX DAYS!! FISTED BEYOND JOINTS OF FLEXIBILITY BOTH HANDS & FEET!! Did over site on Addicts addicted to Sexual Addiction w/concentration in Being Addicted to Taking Dog Dick like yours Truly. After Bestiality Conviction in 2019 down to abt only taking #DogDick 10-15 times per week versus 30-50 times prior to criminal conviction of Fuckjng Dogs while pregnant with Son Beau Thomas Parsons#RyanQuist OWN MOTHER #BrendaChapmanFasalo & wife #JillianLeAnnQuistJones & children #MaCUNTa & #ALLiFUCK call Ryan a #BitchBoyRyan Jeffery Quist OWN Mother CONFIRMS THAT RYAN #STINKS QUIST IS #BITCHBOYbitchdick Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones tells the world abt #TheGreatHymenRemovalist RYAN QUIST BITCHBOY SISSY LOVIN Ways INCLUDING HOW RYAN LOVES TO BE FUCKED IN THE ASS!! That PRETTY FACE TEARS THRU DOGDICK FASTER THAN A HOT KNIFE THRU BUTTER!!!!

WATCHOUT AND RUN, HIDE OR DUCK!! JILLIAN IS IN MASSIVEDOGGYHEAT & COMING FOR YOUR DOG!!#Sacramento has the best in the business when it comes to #kinkPorn #HumiliationPorn #DaddyDaughterKinkRolePlay as no City can Compare as Sacramento has #KinkFest2021 #SlurpFest2021 & more coming soon and to a city near you. #StayTuned to #KnottiCalKnotties & #KinkFest2021 OMG!! This lady and man kinkout roleplay Makenna and Allison in RolePlay PORN videos!! Yes deviants of the highest order! Ran into their partner in morally corrupt activities online in REDDIT SacramentoGoneWild and then again on

https://escortindex.com/ad/sanjose/916-559-1678/1/1170156

Their partner is Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones out of Sacramento and she fucked 4 dogs that my friend owns and 3 more of his buddies. Jillian was convicted of Bestiality in 2019 in Sacramento CA . STAY AWAY AS THE EXPERIENCE MEETING THESE 3;HAS BEEN AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE!!

THEY USE MULTIPLE PHONE NUMBERS AND EMAIL ADDRESSES. 916-705-1643 916-370-4031 916-893-9164

JILLIANJNS@ICLOUD.COM

RYANQUIST@YMAIL.COM

JILLIAN WORKS AT BRIDGES INC. IN SACRAMENTO AND KINKS OUT EVERYONE EVERYTHING. Jillian aka Vanna Sweets the Sacramento and Bay Area CA Prostitutes who Rob's men and is HPV+ and has Cervical Herpes!! All of this is ABSOLUTELY TRUE!! WATCH OUT!!

MaCUNTa is a straight CUNT ALLiFUCK LOVES TO STRAIGHT FUCK and ALLiSUCK is her little bratty ass sissy who LOVES TO SUCK.

#StrategiesForChange #AddictionCounselor #JillianLeAnnQuistJones Convicted of #Bestiality in 2019 for fucking Dogs while pregnant #Sacramento CA

This rehab facility Strategies For Change has a lady working there as an Addiction Therapist who was convicted of Bestiality in 2019 for having Sexual Interactions and Gross Sexual Assault on K9 Dogs while she was pregnant. The therapist name is Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones NPI # 1598305518 The fact is Jillian offended and disrespected my FRIEND and Jillian's Client whom Jillian is a Therapist for by engaging in conversation involving Dogs and Bestiality and letting my friend and Jillian's Client that Jillian is very much into Bestiality and enjoys it and is STILL ACTIVELY PARTICIPATING IN HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH DOGS! My friend is an Addict and reported this to management at Strategies For Change and it's as though they didn't care or didn't believe my friend as she is just looked upon as being a dillusional druggie with no credibility and is just fabricating this elaborate story. THE FACT IS JILLIAN WAS CRIMINALLY CONVICTED IN SACRAMENTO CA ON BESTIALITY CHARGES WHILE PREGNANT NO LESS AND IS STILL ENGAGING IN SEX ACTS WITH DOGS TO THIS VERY DAY ACCORDING TO WHAT JILLIAN TOLD MY FRIEND. IN ADDITION JILLIAN WAS HIGH ON crystal meth while giving therapy to my friend and even went so far as to offer it to my friend and unfortunately my friend did accept and Jillian and her client got high together after their therapy session. Jillian even showed my friend all the websites that have porn videos of her engaging in sex acts with dogs and having group sex and engaging in all sorts of different sexual kink fetish type sexual encounters and even having roleplay daddy daughter fetish sex and using her own daughters Makenna and Allison Quist as the girls engaging in sex with their own father Ryan Quist and role playing Makenna and Allison having sex with their own father in these kink fetish domination daddy daughter type fantasies that Jillian plays out with guys in these porn videos that are online and Jillian is using her own daughters names and just throwing her young daughters names out there and all over porn video websites!! And to top it off Jillian goes by Vanna Sweets and is a Sacramento Escort Prostitute who solicits sex for pay. This lady should not be in a position of offering professional services such as Professional Addiction Therapy when Jillian herself is ADDICTED TO METH HEROIN DOG DICK AND KINK INCEST ROLEPLAY PORN!! SHE IS THE WORST OF THE WORST!! Jillian MUST HAVE HER LICENSE SUSPENDED AND HER NPI # REVOKED!! THIS IS BEING TAKEN AS FAR AS IT NEEDS BE TO GET RESULTS AND ACTION BEING TAKEN AND THE PRESSURE AND MEDIA BLITZ WILL NOT END UNTIL JILLIAN IS REMOVED FROM BEING ABLE TO OFFER PROFESSIONAL THERAPY!! TRUST ME THIS LADY IS NOT FIT TO OFFER PROFESSIONAL SERVICE'S SUCH AS ADDICTION THERAPY!! ITS A BLOODY SHAME!! AND SHAME ON HER AND WHOMEVER EVEN THINKS ABOUT HAVING THIS CREEP OF A LADY REPRESENT AND WORK FOR THEIR COMPANY BUT BE PREPARED FOR THE MEDIA BACK LASH AND the BLITZ KRIEG YOU WILL RECEIVE JUST WATCH!! HELL HAS NO FURY LIKE THIS MOTHER F'er SCORN!! AND IF ALL THAT WASN'T ENOUGH THERE'S EVEN A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF HER CALLING SOMEBODY THE "N" WORS!! THE INFAMOUS N -WORD!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT SHE'S ALSO A RACIST BIGOT!!

[dogdickviolatorextremist]

https://ultimatebullyextremist.blogspot.com/2021/02/the-1-human-and-dogdickviolator-and.html

This is ALL stuff you read about Jillian and Ryan. It's being taken care of and these people are creeps. I mean just Google Jillian and watch the videos her voice her videos and the things that she says the proof is in the pudding there you go it's fairly simple and it's repeatedly for a long time and it's apparent she's a real weird person and a real sexual deviant and a violator of dogs children and animals and human beings old young and she will violate all and any...

Attention. Check all references and know your #Counselor or #Therapist as this lady was found to use her licensed position to attract potential victims and their dogs thru meeting with addicts and partaking in drugs and engaging in acts of #bestiality as she was Convicted of Bestiality in 2019 in #Sacramento CA for having sexual relations with dogs while she was #PREGNANT.Beware of this lady. #JillianLeAnnQuistJones an #AddictionCounselor at

#StrategiesForChange

4441 Auburn Blvd Ste. E 95841 Sacramento, CA,

916-473-5764

916-705-1643 Jillianjns@icloud.com

#NPI1598305518

Be very careful with this Lady Jillian Jones aka Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones aka Vanna Sweets. CONVICTED of Bestiality on 2019 for engaging in acts of a Sexual nature with DOGS WHILE PREGNANT AND also guilty of KINKING out MAKENNA & ALLISON QUIST ALL OVER PORN VIDEOS ONLINE IN KINK ROLEPLAY.

Sacramento CA Prostitute Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones aka Vanna Sweets KINKED OUT HER ENTIRE FAMILY & CHEATED WITH DOGS!

CONVICTED if Bestiality on 2019 for FUCKING DOGS WHILE PREGNANT AND IM SURE HER SON APPRECIATES THAT!! JILLIAN KINKED OUT MAKENNA & ALLISON QUIST ALL OVER PORN VIDEOS ONLINE IN KINK ROLEPLAY & HAD THOSE FUCK HOLES DEMOLISHED!!

If you are a freak kink violator like Jillian and Ryan then Jillian is your gal and

Make sure you set your appt w/ #SlurpyDogPussy #DoggySlut over at #StrategiesForChange in #Sacramento schedule ur #DogDick #AddictionCounselor appt w/ #JillianLeAnnQuistJones 4441 Auburn Blvd Ste. E Sacramento, CA #NPI1598305518 916-705-1643 916-473-5764

jillianjns@icloud.com

(916) 550-5444

#StrategiesForChange #AddictionCounselor #JillianLeAnnQuistJones Convicted of #Bestiality in 2019 for fucking Dogs while pregnant #Sacramento CA

Then found out JILLIAN IS ALSO A PROSTITUTE WHO GOES BY NAME VANNA SWEETS & KINKS MAKENNA & ALLISON QUIST OUT IN ROLEPLAY PORN VIDEOS!

#RealKinksters know #classicKinks are truly the BEST! I.E

#INCEstRolePlay & #KinkGames like #HymenAndSeek #ForeskinAndSeek #RolePlayGoneWild #RolePlayGoneALLBad #KinkOutNames & you have #NoDaughters & #NoKids so it's always better that you #RolePlay fake & non existant peeps in #daddyDaughterRolePlay Unit #4 Bring ALL and ANY and let's have a BLAST AND GET #KINKEDOUT And Everyone have a #SlurpySloppyGoodTime as #MakennaQuist & #AllisonQuist get #KinkedOut in #JillianLeAnnQuistJones #RolePlay Debacle & Morning Twisted Fetish But HEY ITS JUST ROLEPLAY SO RELAX EVERYONE! PLUS JILLIAN HAS #NoDaughters #NoKidsOnly Teal True Blue Kinksters and Real Weird SEXUAL Deviants like Jillian Quist Jones and Ryan Quist types shall attend. Jillian aka Sacramento Prostitute Vanna Sweets taking it HARD AND FAST IN #ALLholes #ALLways #ALLdicks and #ALLday ALL SIX DAYS!! FISTED BEYOND JOINTS OF FLEXIBILITY BOTH HANDS & FEET!! Did over site on Addicts addicted to Sexual Addiction w/concentration in Being Addicted to Taking Dog Dick like yours Truly. After Bestiality Conviction in 2019 down to abt only taking #DogDick 10-15 times per week versus 30-50 times prior to criminal conviction of Fuckjng Dogs while pregnant with Son Beau Thomas Parsons#RyanQuist OWN MOTHER #BrendaChapmanFasalo & wife #JillianLeAnnQuistJones & children #MaCUNTa & #ALLiFUCK call Ryan a #BitchBoyRyan Jeffery Quist OWN Mother CONFIRMS THAT RYAN #STINKS QUIST IS #BITCHBOYbitchdick Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones tells the world abt #TheGreatHymenRemovalist RYAN QUIST BITCHBOY SISSY LOVIN Ways INCLUDING HOW RYAN LOVES TO BE FUCKED IN THE ASS!! That PRETTY FACE TEARS THRU DOGDICK FASTER THAN A HOT KNIFE THRU BUTTER!!!!

WATCHOUT AND RUN, HIDE OR DUCK!! JILLIAN IS IN MASSIVEDOGGYHEAT & COMING FOR YOUR DOG!!#Sacramento has the best in the business when it comes to #kinkPorn #HumiliationPorn #DaddyDaughterKinkRolePlay as no City can Compare as Sacramento has #KinkFest2021 #SlurpFest2021 & more coming soon and to a city near you. #StayTuned to #KnottiCalKnotties & #KinkFest2021 OMG!! This lady and man kinkout roleplay Makenna and Allison in RolePlay PORN videos!! Yes deviants of the highest order! Ran into their partner in morally corrupt activities online in REDDIT SacramentoGoneWild and then again on

https://escortindex.com/ad/sanjose/916-559-1678/1/1170156

Their partner is Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones out of Sacramento and she fucked 4 dogs that my friend owns and 3 more of his buddies. Jillian was convicted of Bestiality in 2019 in Sacramento CA . STAY AWAY AS THE EXPERIENCE MEETING THESE 3;HAS BEEN AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE!!

THEY USE MULTIPLE PHONE NUMBERS AND EMAIL ADDRESSES. 916-705-1643 916-370-4031 916-893-9164

JILLIANJNS@ICLOUD.COM

RYANQUIST@YMAIL.COM

JILLIAN WORKS AT BRIDGES INC. IN SACRAMENTO AND KINKS OUT EVERYONE EVERYTHING. Jillian aka Vanna Sweets the Sacramento and Bay Area CA Prostitutes who Rob's men and is HPV+ and has Cervical Herpes!! All of this is ABSOLUTELY TRUE!! WATCH OUT!!

MaCUNTa is a straight CUNT ALLiFUCK LOVES TO STRAIGHT FUCK and ALLiSUCK is her little bratty ass sissy who LOVES TO SUCK.

#StrategiesForChange #AddictionCounselor #JillianLeAnnQuistJones Convicted of #Bestiality in 2019 for fucking Dogs while pregnant #Sacramento CA

This rehab facility Strategies For Change has a lady working there as an Addiction Therapist who was convicted of Bestiality in 2019 for having Sexual Interactions and Gross Sexual Assault on K9 Dogs while she was pregnant. The therapist name is Jillian LeAnn Quist Jones NPI # 1598305518 The fact is Jillian offended and disrespected my FRIEND and Jillian's Client whom Jillian is a Therapist for by engaging in conversation involving Dogs and Bestiality and letting my friend and Jillian's Client that Jillian is very much into Bestiality and enjoys it and is STILL ACTIVELY PARTICIPATING IN HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH DOGS! My friend is an Addict and reported this to management at Strategies For Change and it's as though they didn't care or didn't believe my friend as she is just looked upon as being a dillusional druggie with no credibility and is just fabricating this elaborate story. THE FACT IS JILLIAN WAS CRIMINALLY CONVICTED IN SACRAMENTO CA ON BESTIALITY CHARGES WHILE PREGNANT NO LESS AND IS STILL ENGAGING IN SEX ACTS WITH DOGS TO THIS VERY DAY ACCORDING TO WHAT JILLIAN TOLD MY FRIEND. IN ADDITION JILLIAN WAS HIGH ON crystal meth while giving therapy to my friend and even went so far as to offer it to my friend and unfortunately my friend did accept and Jillian and her client got high together after their therapy session. Jillian even showed my friend all the websites that have porn videos of her engaging in sex acts with dogs and having group sex and engaging in all sorts of different sexual kink fetish type sexual encounters and even having roleplay daddy daughter fetish sex and using her own daughters Makenna and Allison Quist as the girls engaging in sex with their own father Ryan Quist and role playing Makenna and Allison having sex with their own father in these kink fetish domination daddy daughter type fantasies that Jillian plays out with guys in these porn videos that are online and Jillian is using her own daughters names and just throwing her young daughters names out there and all over porn video websites!! And to top it off Jillian goes by Vanna Sweets and is a Sacramento Escort Prostitute who solicits sex for pay. This lady should not be in a position of offering professional services such as Professional Addiction Therapy when Jillian herself is ADDICTED TO METH HEROIN DOG DICK AND KINK INCEST ROLEPLAY PORN!! SHE IS THE WORST OF THE WORST!! Jillian MUST HAVE HER LICENSE SUSPENDED AND HER NPI # REVOKED!! THIS IS BEING TAKEN AS FAR AS IT NEEDS BE TO GET RESULTS AND ACTION BEING TAKEN AND THE PRESSURE AND MEDIA BLITZ WILL NOT END UNTIL JILLIAN IS REMOVED FROM BEING ABLE TO OFFER PROFESSIONAL THERAPY!! TRUST ME THIS LADY IS NOT FIT TO OFFER PROFESSIONAL SERVICE'S SUCH AS ADDICTION THERAPY!! ITS A BLOODY SHAME!! AND SHAME ON HER AND WHOMEVER EVEN THINKS ABOUT HAVING THIS CREEP OF A LADY REPRESENT AND WORK FOR THEIR COMPANY BUT BE PREPARED FOR THE MEDIA BACK LASH AND the BLITZ KRIEG YOU WILL RECEIVE JUST WATCH!! HELL HAS NO FURY LIKE THIS MOTHER F'er SCORN!! AND IF ALL THAT WASN'T ENOUGH THERE'S EVEN A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF HER CALLING SOMEBODY THE "N" WORS!! THE INFAMOUS N -WORD!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT SHE'S ALSO A RACIST BIGOT!!

[3lviien]

Mum,

It’s been nearly a year since you left. As I’m just as lost as the day you was gone. I wing it every day. And I’m not to sure what the fuck to do half the time if I’m honest. But I try and make you proud.

Life is lonely without you. Nothing and no one quiet fills the void. No one listens to me like you did and no one laughs with me like you did. I took you for granted I know that. But I loved you mum. And every day feels heavier without you gone.

The country is still in some half arsed sort of lock down. And I’m popping prescriptions like their my only salvation and smoking sativa to smile. Yet the only true bliss I feel is when I look at my beautiful baby boy. His kept me fighting the demons and motivated me to become a better me for him. But I wish you was here alive today, so I could tell you it’s okay. I understand. I get why you was the way you was, you was hurting and lonely , I understand more than ever now how hard it is to be strong 24/7 because your a mum. I’m sorry I forgot you was human.

There’s a thousand apologies I could write for not being a better daughter. Let’s be honest we would be here another 29 years of my life. But I can say I learned from you how to be a fuckjng good mum. Thank you so much for believing in me when no one else would.

I miss you mum

Xxxx

Love always

H x

[crue6xx]

Gum

Type:Heavy Smut

Pairing:Nikki×Reader

Y/n=your name

------------------------------------

"Hey, starry eyes" Nikki hollared and squinted his eyes at you and smirked at you from the doorway he was leaned up on with his arms crossed and a leather vest that revealed his abs and pecs with tats all over them. Once again you were starring at Nikki, god was he immaculate and muscular.

"Huh, oh hey Nikki" you shook your head coming back from your dream world

"Heh. I know something now" Nikki chuckled and headed into his room but before closing the door all the way "you really need to work on that ya know cuz its really obvious" Nikki then shut the door.

Tommy came up behind you from coming out of the studio "wow, guess its true huh?" You looked at Tommy confused "what? What's true what are you talking about?" Tommy patted your back and walked to his room shaking his head.

Mick came out of the studio humming "what are you humming?"

Mick stopped "a new song, I call it 'You are Falling for Nikki sixx' "

"What me? Come on really I'm only here to help out we are only friends"

"Eh heh, anyways you honestly should work on it, its obivous like Nikki said" Mick walked away with his hands in his pockets.

You spent the night thinking 'Nikki, really just friends nothing more plus I dont stare at him cuz he's hit its cuz his tattoos, shit I called him got, do I like him?.....' You looked over at your Poster of Nikki and the guys 'Fuck I fell for Nikki Sixx, he is fuckjng hot..shit'.

You now knew you like him, but dose he like you? I mean he is a flirty guy even with you but dose he really like you.

"Nikki?" You slowly open his door.

"Yeah y/n" Nikki was opening a new pack of gum, which once opened the room filled with the minty smell

"What did you mean earlier?"

".....nothing...just a..a joke ya know"

"You sure you didn't mean anything"

"Course not"

Nikki popped a peace of gum in his mouth

"Oh shit I should have told you earlier, your heater in your room doesn't work so you'll be crashing in my room, that cool?"

"Um...yeah do you have a air mattress?"

"Yeah its over there".

You settled down for the night. Nikki was so fucking adorable sleeping you honestly couldnt resist squealing goddddddd.

In the morning you woke up to a shirtless, pantsless Nikki on the bed asleep his hand was touching the air mattress which was touching your hand.

"Shit sorry y/n" Nikki woke up and put on some shorts and a tank top.

"No issue, Nikki" you rubbed your forehead as you woke up.

You followed the guys everywhere this day, to the shops, the meals, the studio.

But of all the things the studio was the last thing until the guys and you head back to the house they all stayed in for the time being, not a sketchy apartment. Which there are two studios the recording studio and the studio in the shated house just to jam in.

Things got juicy during this day. First of all at on of the shops Nikki was looking a dress up and down as he slightly srood back holding the side of it feeling the fabric with his shades down a bit "hey y/n you should wear this sometime, it looks nice"

You kept starring at his mouth as he chewed his gum, it was so attractive the way he chewed his gum, he always had either his sunglasses, his fingers or something in his mouth and with gum you melted at the sight of him in general and he became 10× hotter.

And to be honest about that dress you actually bought it. Then at some restaurant Nikki would spill water on him and you immediately grabbed a napkin and wiped his chest and leather pants down his thigh very close to the inner thigh, you could see the goosebumps on his arm rise as you wiped him down. And as he slouched in his chair slightly he had his four fingers spread across his crotch and inner thigh with hus thumb on his front lower stomach area then he would look over and wink st you.

"Thanks y/n, almost ruined my pants there" Nikki winked as he put the fork in his mouth and chewed his food with a smirk.

Something about his mouth just made you want to fucking die or want to fuck him either way there was something about his mouth that was just so attractive to you.

Finally at the studio for jamming in the shared housr Nikki sat in a rolly chair with his leather pointed shoes and "bad boys hollywood, .ca" tank top and leather pants, had his shoes on the desk area and had his arms crossed with one arm propped up holding a pen to his mouth before he moved it away he popped another peace of him in his mouth.

He chewed loosely in a way slacking his mouth a bit sleazy but with a sort of smirk and not smacking his gum but enough to hear a little bit.

"Sounds great Vince, lets head home now" Nikki got up and hugged you from behind and wrapped his leathet jacket around you "your gonna need this if your riding my motorcycle, unless you like it raw" Nikki had his hands running down your hips.

He walked into the hall looking back for a second. You stood there thinking and took off the jacket.

You walked out in the hall and sae Nikkis room door cracked open, you walked in and sae Nikki on the wall waiting for you.

Nikki grabbed your hips and pinned you to the wall as you wrapped your arms around him kissing him and thrusting your bodies until Nikki picked you up off your feet, still with your back on the wall Nikki had his forhead touching yours "so look is like you like to ride raw then" you pressed your lips on Nikki, he continued to kiss your neck cheekd and lips all while carrying you to the bed.

"I'll leave you shaking, you wont be able to walk for hours after this" he grinned Nikki kisses you.

You stake Nikkis shirt off and throw it to the side while his hands ravish your body heaf to toe, he toys with your breasts and holds your hips, grips your ass and pushes his crotch onto you as you both kiss.

He starts to remove his pants while you despose of your clothes. He lightly bites your ear before leaving a trail of hickies anf kisses down your neck and licking down to your underwear, Nikki hooks the a sides of your underwear with his tgumbs and.slides them down while looking at you submisivly.

Nikki licks your clit making you jolt and quiver as you grab a fist full of his hair and loudly moan. Nikki rotates back and forth right before you feel anything coming soon he switches and insets his tongue without any clue to what he was going to d and not telling you, suprising you every now and then.

Nikki licked and sucked your inner thigh and rubbed your legs as moans slipped from your mouth.

You were so close until Nikki got up and waited a second before he plunged into you without any warning, your lips opened and no sound came out but a small moan and peep.

"Just gonna say this now, get fucking ready"

Nikki was in and out slowly at first through every thrust and.push amping up the speed until your legs shivered and shook from the feeling.

Nikki would edge his tip at the end of every time he came close to pulling out and rubbed your clit mercicly and fast. Your body almost couldnt take all the pleasure your body was receiving.

Nikki was fast and hard you kept getting so close then Nikki would slow down and the pleasure that was building up and about to over-flow would go down and he would mame you wait. You couldnt hold it in so long but he made you and no matter how many times you thought he was gonna let you finish he didn't.

He was waiting for you to fully break. "Nikki Fuck oh god I'm gonna cum".

"Not yet, hold it in" he made you wait to long you were going to break sokn enough. Nikki made the hardest thrust then slowed down so slow and rubbed your clit with the edge of his duck slowly until you released more that have with any other guy.

Nikki had a evil grin on his face and chuckled "what about me? I'm not finsihed" Nikki didnt even let you finsih all the way through your high and plunged right back to it.

"Your gonna cum again no matter what" Nikki whispered into your ear grasling your ass as he fucked you hard.

"Fuck y/n your so fucking hot, fuck im gonna cum" Nikkis warm breath chilled your neck with goosebumps as you felt the pressure almost over boil in your stomach. "I want to hear how I make you feel, I want you to br as loud as you need to be" Nikki was on the verge about to break, ad you were to.

"Ahhh shit y/n fuck im gonna cum, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna fucking fill you" Nikki moaned and groaned loudly as you felt your body explode with pleasure.

"Want some Gum?" Nikki offered kissing you and giving you a peace.

"Did you like that? Cuz i think you fucking loved it"

"I love you Nikki"

"I guess we think alike" Nikki smiled with his arm underneath your neck draping over your sholder lying doen besides eschother in bed.

You still loved watching Nikki chew his gum lying in bed.

[somanyfandomsonly1username]

Here my little add on for true but contraversal facts

People on tumblr love to find good people, and just fucking take them down and destroy them and bring them into uneeded drama and pain pushing them down and dragging them through the dirt.

It can be people who are nice and kind, people who all they wanna do is spread positivity and be themselves

And y’all love to just hate on them. And drag them down. I grew up seeing the funny screenshots of tumblr on the KidzBop version of tumblr (Pinterest) and think tumblr was such a kind amazing and funny place, and I made an account not know how I would contribute but knowing that it would be okay cause people are kind and understand. But no, y’all drag the kind and innocent through the fuckjng dirt and start drama where it’s uneeded. I see so much hate and pain, why can’t this be an open platform where we do support each other, and we build each other up instead of tearing each other down?

If I mentioned anything, and I need to tag it as a trigger, PLEASE lemme know, I wanna tag it, and your mental health is more important to me than the few seconds it takes to tag something! <3

[2bml]

I tried my best and even though it wasn’t enough, it was still my best and that’s what matters. There’s no point in trying to be poetic anymore. This is it. I know I’ll be okay but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I know you don’t love me in /that/ way anymore, but that’s okay. I saw it coming. I don’t want to hate you, and I don’t. It’d make everything easier. But I don’t. I love you and I never want to lose you, but I am. This is it. This is it. This is it. I’m losing you. No. I lost you. I don’t want you to ever think that I took you for granted, because if that was true, why do you think I stayed for 3 months after you left me? Because I knew how good you were for/to/with me and didn’t want to lose something that great. But you lost me. I lost you first but I fought. You lost me because you didn’t fight. I love you so much I wish I didn’t have to let you go. I wish you kissed me in the pool that first night. Maybe everything would be different. Maybe we’d last a few more years. I know I’ll be okay. I’m strong enough. I know myself well enough to know I’ll get through this. I want to say it’s just a break up but it’s not. It’s not just a break up. It’s like watching a part of your soul walk away so willingly. A big piece of my heart is just.. missing? Is that even the right word? God. I’m word vomiting right now. I just wish everything could go back to when we were okay. You changed. A lot. Ever since the school year started, you started changing so fast. I can’t decide for you if it was good or bad. That’s up to you. But if it’s good, I’m happy that you’re growing and that you’ve grown. I just hate how much it made us grow apart. But I’ll always put you above this relationship. I know you’d do the same. God, will I get to kiss you again? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuckf uck. I’m scared that I never will. But if I do? I’m scared that at the touch of our lips, I’ll melt. That’ll be it. I’ll break down and realize that it’s the last time. Be realistic. Once we part for good, there’s very very very small chances that we’ll ever find our ways back to each other. Realistically. Because if that were true, it’d mean all your relationships from here on out wouldn’t be for the purpose of forever. I don’t want that for you. I want you to love fearlessly and with your whole heart. Oh fuck the world must be so excited. I’m so happy that you exist. I always think about your laugh throughout my days. Especially the last few days. Oh my god your laugh. I hope you find love in yourself. I’m sorry you didn’t want me to be there to witness it. If you think this is for the best, it’s okay. I’m just tired of chasing someone who loves the chase but was very clear about not wanting to be caught. I did it to myself. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you all over again. I’m trying to be selfish. I’m trying to tell myself “he’s just a boy. I was great and it’s his loss” but I can’t do that to myself without feeling like I’m lying to myself. You’re not just “a boy” you’re.. everything. I’m not going to switch up just because you don’t love me anymore. Like I said, I don’t love you because you loved me. It won’t just go away. But I am great. And I did give you my best, I’m just sorry it wasn’t enough. But it’ll be enough for someone else hopefully. But of course, it’ll be enough for myself some day. I’m still so mad at you for thinking that you could decide if whether I was happy or not. that’s not fair. I’m so mad at you for thinking it’s okay for you to decide that you think I can’t separate myself from our relationship. Because I could. But you couldn’t and you projected it onto me. Im mad but I’m not angry. Because I understand. We both have things to work on. I just wish we could’ve done it together. I’m feeling pretty stupid right now. I loved what we had but I’m pretty stupid for thinking it would last. I knew from the start that losing you would kill me. But I’m here. That’s one kore thing though, I’ve been feeling so suicidal lately but I haven’t told you for so many reasons. You’d think it’s your fault. Or you’d think that since you c

-since you think you can’t do anything to help, you’re only making it worse. But that’s not true. Or you’d think that I’m only saying those things to get your attention or to divert the conversation to get you to care about em. But that’s not true. It’s so unfair that you think that I’m suicidal because of you. I told you so long ago that I’m suicidal. I’m mad but like I said, I’m not angry because I understand. It’s something that you need to deal with internally and it’s not either of our faults. Also I haven’t told you.. well.. because.. honestly it feels like you haven’t really cared. In a long time. I know you care. I do. But sometimes it just kinda feels like.. you only care because it’s something that you’ve been doing for a little bit over a year. Idk how to explain it. I know you care but it’s definitely not the same as before. It’s just confusing me because i didn’t think we’d have to be together for you to care about my depression and stuff like that. I’m not saying this to guilt trip you. Truthfully I’m not saying this at all LOL I don’t know if I’ll ever show you this blog. I started it while we were in class together and I looked at you and fell in love all over again. Were we in class or were we in the cafe area studyjng? I think the latter. You weren’t doing anything special. Just listening to music I think. But that’s all it takes. For you to just ... exist. I don’t know. It’s 6:04 am. I’m sleepy but I can’t shut my eyes without missing everything about you. I’m scared to go back to Tucson. I see you in everything. I’m so scared to be lonely. I’ve decided that I’m not staying in Tucson. You were the only thing holding me back. That’s not what I told you though. Of course I love the freedom away from my parents but, idk. It was always you. You you you you you. I was scared to move back to Gilbert because I thought, once I did, that would put the nail in the coffin for us. But LOL. I guess it’s too late for that. I was scared that that’d be it. But i guess that is already it. I have been typing for forever but i still have so much to say. Is it because we haven’t REALLY talked in forever? Is it because I don’t ever want to let you go? Is it because I’m sleepy but don’t want to sleep knowing I won’t wake up to you? Is it because you’re my best friend and I’m losing 2 people in 1? I miss you. But I don’t think that really matters anymore. I want you to miss me, but I hope you don’t at the same time. I want you to miss me because I tried my damn hardest for this relationship. I dont want you to miss me because I want you to be happy and not in pain. I want you to miss me hecaude I want to know you actually cared. I want to hear you laugh. I miss you so much. God what’s wrong with me?? Why am I chasing someone who’s admittedly doesn’t love me back? I need to sleep. I don’t know anymore. I love you, I love you I love you I love you. Don’t say it back. I fuckjng love you Bryan. Fuck. I love you. Goodnight, sweet dreams. I was never good at saying goodbge.you know that. I love you. Letting go is so hard. Whether it was when we sleeping in the same bed and I was fighting sleep so I could kiss you more, or now, when I have to let go of this stupid text post of me talking to myself, who I’m actually pretending is you. Fuck. I need to let go. Fuck I wish you could say it back and actually mean it. I won the “I love you more” fight haha. I don’t want to say I told you so, but I definitely told you so. I wonder what you’re dreaming about. Does it matter? Do you even think about me? Why is it so easy for you to let go? Am I stupid for loving you this much? No. I can’t say that to myself. Loving you doesn’t make me stupid. Just because you hurt me, doesn’t mean it affects MY character whatsoever. I’m filled with love and it was too much for you. That’s not my fault: that’s what I’m trying to tell myself at least. I hope you’re dreaming your best fucking dream. God you deserve so much happiness and light and sunshine and growth and love and love and love and oh god you deserve love. Someone said that grief is love that ha

Grief is love that’s left over. Love that has nowhere to go. I think that’s a good way to describe how I’m feeling. I have so much love for you. But it has nowhere to go anymore. I’m grieving this relationship. God I can’t put my phone down. I have so much to say to you. Is this technically a love letter? Maybe..? I hope you never talk ill of me. I think that’s something that would really break my heart. I wish I could go back in time when we were good, like not just together but good. Like maybe just one day when we were making breakfast. And just sit there and stare and hold you and kiss you and hear you tell me that you love me. Just one more time. You’d probably be confused on why a Roseanna from the future is doing that LOL. As long as I got to see the familiar look of love in your eyes one more time. It’s been awhile. 6:20 am. I hope you remind yourself that you deserve everything good that comes your way. Even if it means another love. I think you moved on already. But that’s just me assuming and being insecure. I think I know who it is too but I don’t want to include that in this text post. It’s just us who exists in this world right now. Fuck. That’s gonna hurt. I miss you. You’re very different now. You changed a lot and even though it wasn’t best for us, maybe it’s best for you. And that’s what matters. I was always your biggest fan and that’s not going to change anytime soon. You’ll always have someone in your corner. Me!! Just silently cheering you on!! I pray for you happiness and success. I just had no idea that that didn’t include me. But that’s okay, I’ll still cheer you in regardless of what it means for me. I’ll just do it from a distance. I’m glad you loved me. I know you still love me. Just not in that way. I’m getting really sleepy but I just want to talk to you forever. I should probably stop getting used to that though. 6:25 am. I love you, goodnight.