#i tag this as tma fandom since this is the shared fandom I am talking about

[nikolathestranger]

There is something so deranged about seeing a former acquaintance of mine claim that I used to be enbyphobic, when I was maybe 14 at best and had no understanding of gender like I do now, there is in fact something so deeply fucked up about someone still talking about you, sharing your issues anonymously on the web, kind of like a "fuck you for being a bad friend when you were in an incredibly dark place, when you were 14, later 17" and now seeing that person in the same fandom you are in. I don't even know what to say. For a long time I was afraid to even go online, because I truly, honestly believed I was the devil for calling someone out IRL when they used to shit talk me, my work, my characters on their old Tumblr, gaining pity and sympathy from their friends.

Funnily enough, the only reason I contacted them was because I was worried, as they were vague posting about potentially hurting themselves, or at least feeling the urge to, so I approached them. They then, in turn, maybe to make themselves feel stronger, threatened that their friends would rip out my throat, maybe they would do it themselves. I don't even know what to say to this. They then abandoned their old account, claiming their safe space had been breached, and made a new one, it seems.

I found it now because I saw some of their TMA art, thought it looked familiar, and it turns out it is the same person. I don't even know what to think, I just have a headache.

To be clear: Between the ages of 14 to 18ish, I was not a good person, but I wasn't the devil either. I grew up in an abusive household, struggled with depression, eds and many undiagnosed issues. I did not take rejection well, I did not understand how to put out boundaries for myself in a proper manner and I did not understand how to handle mental episodes. I thought this person was my friend, they claimed to be, but when I read on their account how they thought I might be exaggerating my issues, how they only stayed with me because they felt pity and how they did not view me as a friend at all I was heartbroken, furious and just overall spiraled.

Furthermore, I became a very passive-aggressive person, and just overall drew away from them, hoping I could hurt them the same way I was hurt by their actions.

Since then, I have had episodes where my brain does this thing, being a chameleon and trying to copy people, sometimes I tried to copy them, in order to maybe become someone they would like again, before extensive therapy on my part.

Additionally, I now moved out of my parent's place and after a year of homelessness had the time I needed to heal, I can now confidently say I am not the person I used to be, I just wish they would accept that too, and stop calling me their abuser, or still spread weird things about me, it is so tiring. I know tagging them would not help, they would simply block me and feel confirmed in their emotions, this is just me, getting something off my chest, so I can breathe and live on.

[felixcosm]

Pinned

In case you didn't take the title warning seriously, this IS a WOE.BEGONE blog now. Every other fandom pales in comparison to WOE.BEGONE. I will not shut up about WOE.BEGONE. It's my entire life and so you will see me talk, rant and reblog things tagged with WOE.BEGONE

Other fandoms include: #the stanley parable, #mcr, #tma #wtnv #tpp (or #junoverse), #lucifer, #spn (and #destiel) and whatever podcast or series I'm binging at the moment

My prev urls were: erlenkoenig, the-felix-parable, mossymeat,

I also do roleplays, write fanfiction, talk about sex work and rant about stuff occasionally

Cringe is fake, we love passion here, sir

Spam liking/reblogging is totally fine!

Occasional NSFW posts might appear. All are tagged with #nsft

I don't check my followers a lot. If you start shit, I'll block you.

I speak German and English. Feel free to talk to me in either language. (the tag for german posts is #geheim tag)

Re: WOE.BEGONE

Ask me about WOE.BEGONE

Why you should listen to WOE.BEGONE

I clip audios! If you want a specific scene clipped or if you want a transcription of something, feel free to ask!

The german speaking tag for the podcast is #kummer.voll if you want to join us 👀

Number #1 Eagle Stan

Transmasc autistic Ty truther

About Me

Turning 25 soon

Austrian-Arabic

Vienna is the best Austrian City, you can't change my mind. (Linz is the worst, sorry)

My gender is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you can use any pronouns, tho I have a fondness for he/it

Apostate. I am very religion critical and it may show

Been on tumblr since 2014

Proud (and happy) sex worker. If you ever need SW resources, hmu!!

I'm very bad at messaging in IMs but I try to answer all the asks I get. You can always share shit with me in asks!

[evanescentjasmine]

I’m going to talk about a little pet peeve of mine with regard to portrayal of poc in fic, TMA specifically since that’s what I mostly read and write for. 

I suppose I should first start by saying that, of course, poc are not a monolith, and I’m certain there are other poc who have many different views on this issue. And also this post is in no way meant to demonise, shame, or otherwise discourage people from writing poc in fic if they’re doing something differently. This is just a thing I’ve been noodling on for a while and have had several interesting conversations with friends about, and now that I think I’ve figured out why I have this pet peeve, I figured I’d gather my thoughts into a post.

As a result of the fact we have no canonical racial, ethnic, or religious backgrounds for our main TMA cast, we’ve ended up with many diverse headcanons, and it’s absolutely lovely to see. I’m all for more diversity and I’m always delighted to see people’s headcanons. 

However, what often happens is I’ll be reading a fic and plodding along in a character’s PoV and get mention of their skin colour. And nothing else. I find this, personally, extremely jarring. In a short one-shot it makes sense, because you’re usually touching on one scenario and then dipping out. Likewise if the fic is in a different setting, is cracky, or is told from someone else’s PoV, that’s all fine. But if I’m reading a serious long-fic close in the poc’s head and...nothing? That’s just bizarre to me.

Your heritage, culture, religion, and background, all of those affect how you view the world, and how the world views you in return. How people treat you, how you carry yourself, what you’re conscious of, all of that shifts. And the weird thing is that many writers are aware of this when it comes to characters being ace or trans or neurodivergent—and I’m genuinely pleased by that, don’t get me wrong. Nothing has made my ace self happier than the casual aceness in TMA fics that often resonates so well with my experience. But just as gender, orientation, and neurodivergence change how a character interacts with their world, so do race, ethnicity, and religion. 

As a child, I spent a couple of years in England while my mother was getting her degree. Though I started using Arabic less and less, my mother still spoke to me almost exclusively in Arabic at home. We still ate romy cheese and molokhia and the right kind of rice, though we missed out on other things. She managed to get an Egyptian channel on TV somehow, which means I still grew up with different cultural touchstones and make pop-culture references that I can’t share with my non-Arabic-speaking friends. She also became friends with just about every Egyptian in her university, so for those years I had a bevy of unrelated Uncles and Aunties from cities all over Egypt, banding together to go on outings or celebrate our holidays.

As an adult who sometimes travels abroad solo, and as a fair-skinned Arab who’s fluent in English, usually in a Western country the most I’ll get is puzzled people trying to parse my accent and convinced someone in my family came from somewhere. When they hear my name, though, that shifts. I get things like surprise, passive-aggressive digs at my home region, weird questions, insistence I don’t look Egyptian (which, what does that even mean?) or the ever-popular, ever-irritating: Oh, your English is so good!

At airports, with my Egyptian passport, it’s less benign. I am very commonly taken aside for extra security, all of which I expect and am prepared for, and which always confuses foreign friends who insisted beforehand that surely they wouldn’t pull me aside. Unspoken is the fact I, y’know, don’t look like what they imagine a terrorist would. But I’m Arab and that’s how it goes, despite my, er, more “Western” leaning presentation. 

This would be an entirely different story if I were hijabi, or had darker skin, or a more pronounced accent. I am aware I’m absolutely awash with privilege. Likewise, it would be different if I had a non-Arab name and passport. 

So it’s slightly baffling to me as to why a Jon who is Pakistani or Indian or Arab and/or Black British would go through life the exact same way a white British character would. 

Now, I understand that race and ethnicity can be very fraught, and that many writers don’t want to step on toes or get things wrong or feel it isn’t their place to explore these things, and certainly I don’t think it’s a person’s place to explore The Struggles of X Background unless they also share said background. I’m not saying a fic should portray racism and microaggressions either (and if they do, please take care and tag them appropriately), but that past experiences of them would affect a character. A fic doesn’t have to be about the Arab Experience With Racism (™) to mention that, say, an Arab Jon headed to the airport in S3 for his world tour would have been very conscious to be as put together as he could, given the circumstances, and have all his things in order. 

And there’s so much more to us besides. What stories did your character grow up with? What language was spoken at home? Do they also speak it? If not, how do they feel about that? What are their comfort foods? Their family traditions? The things they do without thinking? The obscure pop-culture opinions they can’t even begin to explain? (Ask me about the crossover between Egyptian political comedy and cosmic horror sometime…)

I’m not saying you’ll always get it right. Hell, I’m not saying I always get it right either. I’m sure someone can read one of my fics and be like, “nope, this isn’t true to me!” And that’s okay. The important thing, for me, is trying.

Because here’s the thing. 

I want you to imagine reading a fic where I, a born and raised Egyptian, wrote white characters in, say, a suburb in the US as though they shared my personal experiences. It’s a multi-generational household, people of the same gender greet with a kiss on each cheek, lunch is the main meal, adults only move out when they get married, every older person they meet is Auntie or Uncle, every bathroom has a bidet, there’s a backdrop of Muslim assumptions and views of morality, and the characters discuss their Eid plans because, well, everyone celebrates Eid, obviously.

Weird, right? 

So why is this normal the other way around? 

Have you ever stopped to wonder why white (and often, especially American) experiences are considered the default? The universal inoffensive base on which the rest is built? 

Yes, I understand that writers are trying to be inoffensive and respectful of other backgrounds. But actually, I find the usual method of having the only difference be their skin colour or features pretty reductive. We’re more than just a paint job or a sprinkle of flavour to add on top of the default. Many of us have fundamentally different life experiences and ignoring this contributes to that assumption of your experience being universal. 

Yes, fic is supposed to be for fun and maybe you don’t want to have to think about all this, and I get that completely. I have all the respect in the world for writers who tag their TMA fics as an American AU, or who don’t mention anyone’s races. I get it. But when you have characters without a canonical race and you give them one, you’re making a decision, and I want you to think about it. 

Yes, this is a lot of research, but the internet is full of people talking about themselves and their experiences. Read their articles, read their blogs, read their twitter threads, watch their videos, see what they have to say and use it as a jumping-off point. I’m really fond of the Writing With Color blog, so if you’re not sure where to start I’d recommend giving them a look. 

Because writers outside of the Anglosphere already do this research in order to write in most fandoms. Writers of colour already put themselves in your shoes to write white characters. And frankly, given the amount of care that many white writers put into researching Britishisms, I don’t see why this can’t extend to other cultural differences as well.

[cardinalvalentino]

hell yeah check in tag time!! thank u @followfindyou for the tag lava u <3

under the cut because this ones a bit long

why did you choose your url?

i enjoy ye baiyi and also transgenderism and since its pride month i thought id combine the two and trans ye baiyis gender <3

any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

i do! i have @translanzhans which is my cdrama sideblog, @dilfgawain which is my ?gawain sideblog?? i dont know. then um @jumpingandpopping which is the jestie only joppost archive and an aesthetic/stim blog that i am not disclosing drtfgyuh i also have blogs that arent rly sbs more like. other blogs such as the tma italian translation blog (@tma-traduzioni) which i share with the rest of the translation gang and the arthurianum zine blog which i run with lou (@arthurianum)

how long you’ve been on tumblr?

a really long time drtfgyhuijo like since age 11 (which is why i have brained rot) but not with this blog i changed blogs at some point

do you have a queue tag?

i straight up dont have a queue drtfgyhuij i just reblog stuff when im online and thats about it

why did you start your blog in the first place?

hmm for a long time i was on tumblr to just to kind of lurk in fandoms, these days the few fandoms im in im a little more directly involved but ngl im here mostly for the human connection with friends and mutuals and likeminded users and to share and talk about my interests a bit more freely

why did you choose your icon?

i love lan xichen dearly and we are besties (this is not my mdzs blog though i see a lot mf mdzs blogs i dont know following me and i feel bad for tricking them with lan xichen... hes just here cause i like him)

why did you choose your header?

i made it because i wanted something a little pretty and ive put there things i like (clouds, forget me nots etc)

what’s your post with the most notes?

romanticize caramelize unionize 😔😔😔😔 and on translanzhans its a wwx + textpost post (or transgenderization beam wangji im not sure)

how many mutuals do you have?

like around the hundred i think? no idea edrtfgyuh idk how to check... but my mewchwals mutuals are less than that

how many followers do you have?

362. too many methinks

how many people do you follow?

hmmmmm WAY too many i need to go on an unfollowing spree its like over the thousand

have you ever made a shitpost?

dont like the term but yeah sometimes the people take a liking to my silly little posts

how often do you use tumblr each day?

way too much 43w54d65f76g87h i may not one of those permanently on ig or tiktok people but i am permanently on tumblr

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

unfortunately more than once... not going to get into it swerdtrytfugy those who know know.....

how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i dont like the tone of "you need to reblog" but if its important ill move past that annoyance and rb. otherwise no sorry it feels a little mean and guilt-trippy

do you like tag games?

i adore them!! im always rly happy when people tag me

do you like ask games?

i do! i dont do them often but when i do its really fun <3

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

hmm not going to name names but i do have some mutuals with some really popular posts or like. kind of a following

do i have a crush on a mutual?

nope thank god ive never had the online friend kind of crush it sounds like an ordeal

tagging @xiaoguiwang @transwenkexing @i-like-creepy-and-cute-stuff @dragonji @trans-bunji if u want to <3<3

[clarionglass]

tagged by @dheiress to post the first line of my last 20 fics (thank you! <3)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 other authors!

aight my lads here we go, there’s going to be a few unpublished wips and other piece of dubious writing in here bc i doubt i have 20 stories but anyway, here we go (this is very long! press j to skip or just get that dash scrollin bc this might take a while :// ) in very rough chronological order going backwards, starting with the published work:

1. so i ran to the river (tma grifters au, unpublished yet but will be soon!): The sunlight feels different on a face fresh out of prison, and it feels even better to Jonathan Sims now that he’s truly home.

2. crowned by an overture bold and beyond (tma pretentious college au, based loosely on the secret history):  It was a cool, rainy day in late March when I first approached the Magnus Institute--one of those days that served as a reminder that the London spring, that fragile creature, was still all too vulnerable to the occasional strike from the claws of winter.

3. we should ride this wave to shore (tma chatfic where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts): Friday, 3:14 P.M. “archives research & statement envestigation” Timothy Stoker renamed the group “drinks drinks drinks” Timothy Stoker changed Sasha James’s nickname to saucy sash Timothy Stoker changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to martini kart Timothy Stoker changed his nickname to stonked stonked: so how bout it lads saucy sash: oh god.

4. i am the maker of rules (dealing with fools) (tma chatfic, an elias-and-peter-focused accompaniment to wsrtwts): Monday, 7:39 P.M. Elias Bouchard to Peter Lukas Elias Bouchard: Peter, I need to talk to you. Elias Bouchard: I’ve had the most infuriating day at work.

5. An Optimistic Tragedy (good omens orchestra au that i swear to god i’ll finish one day): Three years ago Eve shifted in her chair, her mind clearly on things other than Milhaud and the music in front of her.

6. The Spaces Between the Stars (the Beast of a dw fic that i can’t even begin to describe; a mate and i have been working on this since 2015 and it’s a sprawling mass of writing that encompasses Many google docs--what’s on ao3 atm is a very small percentage of it,,,,): The Doctor clutched the TARDIS railing as if somehow, it could take the pain away.

7. Carol of the Bells (a chrismas chatfic companion to aot! i’ve always been a sucker for a chatfic but oof looking back on this one my formatting style sure has changed): [Friday December 13, 1:31am] Anthony Crowley to Angelface: u up? ;)

8. An Exploration into The Nature of Human Beings, sub. Homo Sapiens: A Research Paper by Milton Jones (british comedy rpf. this is my oldest piece on ao3 and it shows, but there’s a special place in my heart for this dorky lil fic about an alien researcher making a place for himself in british comedy. fun fact! i actually added the final three sentences to this a couple of days ago, and will post it when i do my next fic update): <<I knew you’d be down here, as per usual. Do you never stop working?>>

and now for the stuff that i like but hasn’t yet/will never/one day, if i get my act together, might be posted to ao3... please ask me about these bc i love them, even though i’ll probably never post them :)

9. untitled mitchell spy comedy (a show that @monimolimnion​ and i want to pitch to the bbc in which david mitchell and victoria coren mitchell are married spies who work for MI5 and MI6 respectively, and most of britcom pops up in one place or another. it’s nothing more than a Lot of planning and a few snippets, but i love returning to this doc): [David is sitting at his desk, shaking his head at an open file.] David: They’re taking the piss. That’s what they’re doing, they’re taking the piss.

10. In the Demonic Style (a good omens au of @teashoesandhair’s glorious smooching contest piece, which is the first piece of fiction writing in the reblog chain. i’ve promised a chapter 2 to this, which i’m halfway through, and feel incredibly guilty for not finishing. still, my quarter-year’s resolution is to finish something old whenever i post something new, so maybe it’ll get done soon!): “It’s the end of the world” was not a good statement with which to start one’s morning in any circumstances, but the angel Bryndael was in the middle of cataloguing his newest shipment of tea samples when said statement reached his ears, and he didn’t much appreciate being disturbed.

11. magpie (good omens canon-mostly-compliant fic based around the song magpie by the unthanks/the magpie folk song/nursery rhyme): Wednesday (approximately 11 years before the end of the world) From a bird’s-eye view, St James’s Park was beautiful at this time of year.

12. untitled ficlet for tales of dwrwedd (a present for my writing buddy! the link is to her fic, i just wrote a bit of her two witcherverse ocs being soft as hell): The two women seated by the hearth didn't look old, either of them. But there was something about the pair--in their movements, or their mannerisms--that suggested an age far beyond what their unlined faces would suggest.

13: Tempo d’Attacco (an original bit of Light Crime a la midsomer murders, set in a university music department that is naturally a thinly-veiled copy of my own, hence why it will never ever be posted anywhere. i wrote this for my supervisor at the end of honours (her character is the sleuth) :P ) Dr Marisa Tan didn’t exactly start her morning well, on the day that everything seemed to upend itself.

patterns...... i’m not seeing that many, tbh? idk if i could call this in media res, but there’s certainly a good bit of plot starting without heaps of setup. 

my favourite? hmmmmmm i’d say my favourites would be crowned by an overture bold and beyond, and in the demonic style. i gotta say, going back to revisit a lot of my older writing has been nice! time and distance have been v kind :)

i’m hella bad at tagging things so if you see this and want to share your own writing please go ahead! i’m very shy when it comes to Fandom Interaction (tm) so i don’t feel comfortable launching myself into people’s notes (i loved this tho! i just need other people to make the first move lol), however i will give a specific shoutout to @monimolimnion whose writing i adore and who needs to do this!