#i swear your art just continues to grow and astound me

[theninjamouse]

CIPHER OH MY GOOOOOOD im gonna put this in my mouth and EAT IT

WIP because @theninjamouse ‘s fic “Ocean on Fire”, once again, has me thoroughly fucked up. In a death grip literally for years.

[iwaisa]

class 1-a boys kissing their crush for a tiktok

pairings: kirishima, sero, and todoroki x gender neutral reader

warnings: mild swearing, a lil suggestive, tooth-rotting fluff

a/n: this wasn’t a request, but it just happened to pop into my head and i got really excited :D

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

► now shuffling...

he has tiktok but he never posts anything

he likes watching art and cooking videos

it soothes him and it inspires him to be productive

one day he’s laying in his bed scrolling through the endless stream of videos

there’s a little break in the cooking videos and he sees one person standing alone in a room

he’s about to scroll until he reads the text at the top

“kissing my best friend”

he’s about to scroll x2 but he decides to watch where this is going

he just wants to know how to kiss you because he’s been thinking about it since the beginning

the door opens and another person comes in

they’re nearly tackled as the other person throws themself on them and kisses them

the one person mouths something and another text box pops up saying

“i love you”

and he’s like…. damn…. oh to have that be him and you

you definitely don't think kirishima likes you back since he’s so protective of you that you kinda just have to see him as that big brother figure

which he would probably die right on the spot if he heard that

but you only think that because you assume he thinks of himself as a big brother figure

but you two are basically inseparable

always doing homework together

you sit next to each other in class

and you always help him whenever he gets in a really bad mood

it's the last day of class before summer break and the class is going on a trip to the beach

you’re sitting in the way back of the car with him and since the trip takes 2 hours you fall asleep on his shoulder

he’s so not ready for what he’s about to do

the class finally gets there and everyone begins to take off their clothes to go to the ocean

you slip off your clothes to reveal a pastel red swimsuit

good job. you killed him.

look, he’s dead now. you’re so hot that you killed him and he’s foaming at the mouth.

you catch him staring with his jaw hanging open and you laugh waving your hand in front of his face

he decides its now or never

but he’s also sweating bullets because this could go two ways

1. you return the kiss and both have the times of your lives

or 2. you don't like him like that and then the rest of the day is awful and your relationship is ruined forever

he shakes his head and tries not to think too much into it as he goes to prop his phone up

you’re waiting to see which dance he’s doing

he starts the video and jogs back to you and tells you to hop into his arms bridal style

you do, and now he’s spinning you

you hop out of his arms and both of you throw up peace signs

he takes a deep breath before slipping his hand into yours

you turn to face him and he pulls you close so your bodies are pressing together

he mumbles a quick “i really like you,” before pecking your lips

he sprints to post the video and you’re just stunned

he’s holding his phone as he turns around and sees you staring at him

uh oh, time for negative thoughts 😀👍👍

he slowly comes towards you asking if that was okay

you squeal and run towards him planting a giant smooch on his cheek

“s-so you like me back?”

“isn’t it obvious?”

“hah. right. so,,, will you please be my s/o?”

he can't ask anything without adding please because he thinks its manly

you nod while grinning and he pecks your lips again before taking your hand and running to the ocean

it wasn’t until the class got back to the dorms when he noticed his video got thousands of likes with people calling you two cute in the comments

ANOTHER BABIE 🥺🥺

on your first day at U.A., sero was the one to help you get accustomed

he showed you around the school, helped you with homework (if it was something he could understand because if not then you needed bakugou there too)

he helped you find your dorm

he even helped you move furniture into your dorm

he always complimented you and your quirk and you did the same

you noticed that he tended to shy away from talking about his quirk

until you asked him about it

“i just… don't like my elbows”

“what?? i think they’re awesome! honestly they’re kind of cute”

did he? hear you right?? did you just call his elbows cute?

damn. he straight up just fell in love with you.

for someone to compliment the part of him he was most self conscious about is HUGE for him

from that point on he trusts you with his life

he's also basically like a puppy trailing you everywhere

he's in puppy love 🥺🥺

him and kaminari are hanging out in sero’s dorm

sero’s on his hammock using the foot he has sticking out to push him back and forth

kaminari is on sero’s bed leaning against the wall until he jumps up and excitedly talks about this tiktok he just found

sero isn't all that familiar with tiktok, and he's just like ‘if y/n has it then i'll get it!’

kaminari gives sero his phone so he can see exactly what he got so excited by

he watches as two people run around in a field of tall grass while smiling and laughing

at first, he's like, kaminari… are you trying to make me jealous of two people i don't even know?

but then he continues watching as one person tackles the other

and now they’re both laying on the ground, one person on top of another

said person on the top leans down and captures the other in a kiss

sero feels his face getting hot when his mind goes to you

“uh… what are you trying to tell me?”

“what i’m saying is, you need to confess to y/n. like right now.”

sero just nods, but wonders if he could do a video like that

the next day sero asks if he can meet you at a certain address and you accept because just like sero, you would do anything for him

you plug the address into your maps app and realize that it’s a hill with a cherry blossom tree atop

you feel the pink tint in your cheeks and ears continuing to grow as you visualize sero confessing to you on top of that hill

as you make your way up the hill, you can see sero clad in nice dress pants and a half sleeved button up, showing off his elbows

you blush as you notice how formal he is, before looking down at yourself

he notices you and waves you over with his signature grin

you two stare at each other for a while before he pulls his phone out of his pocket

“i want to do something with you”

you nod as you watch him set up his camera

the countdown starts and sero waves to the camera awkwardly

he asks you to stand back, and as you do, sero shoots his tape into the tree and begins to climb up

it takes a few seconds for him to get into an upside down spider-man position, and when he does he asks you to come forward

you take a tiny step towards sero, who’s hair is now falling due to gravity

he looks like such a dork 🥺🥺

hes giving you a giant goofy grin as he says “i’m getting kinda light-headed, so can you please let me kiss you?”

you nod and bend forward as you take his face in your hands

due to your position, it's an awkward first kiss

both your eyes are staring directly at each others’ necks, and you aren’t exactly able to coordinate when to move your lips against each others’

he pulls away a few seconds after the video ends

but before he can say anything, the branch snaps and he comes falling down

you yelped as he landed on his back, rubbing his head

he smiles up at you sheepishly

“sorry for the failed first kiss…”

you shake your head, sitting next to him

“i wouldn't have wanted it any other way”

you grab his face and connect your lips with his, this time more desperate

“did i tell you that i’ve been in love with you since day one?”

you plopped your head on his shoulder and he laughs

“will you please be my s/o, f/n l/n?”

you accept and you two lay down on the grass interlocking hands and watching the clouds

your video went viral because everyone was astounded that someone was able to recreate one of the most iconic scenes in movie history

this man…. has no chill

he also doesn’t have tiktok

“what is a ‘tiktok’”

oh todoroki you beautiful beautiful idiot

you describe tiktok and how you once saw a video of someone clowning endeavor

he never got an app so fast

his first and only video is him flipping off a green screen photo of his dad and nothing else

lmao

uraraka is the one to tell him about the trend

she shows a video to midoriya, iida, and todoroki that shows two people sitting on a couch and it seems that they’re watching a movie together

todoroki and iida assume that they’re dating since they look really close

they don’t even notice the caption that clearly says ‘kissing my best friend challenge’

they’re just kinda bored of it until one person turns to face the other

when they’re both facing each other they just… start making out

like its mutual

and iida and todoroki are still like “why are they posting their make out session on tiktok???”

uraraka has to explain and midoriya is just kinda indifferent about it

a few hours later and the whole class is hanging in the common area

bakugou, sero, kirishima, and sato are in the kitchen making snacks for the movie everyone is about to watch

everyone else is littered around the room - some people on couches, some on the floor, and some just standing around talking

you and todoroki are awkwardly talking and you’re laughing at something that wasn’t really that funny but that’s okay!1!

cuz todoroki wants to see you laugh all the time 🥺

ever since he first saw you he’s always harbored some crush towards you but his childhood trauma and scars keep him back from saying anything

but he’s really so touch starved

he WANTS to be with you and he REALLY wants to kiss you

uraraka catches everyone’s attention and asks todoroki if she can borrow his phone

he questions it before handing it to her

she opens tiktok and tells everyone to just start dancing

she whispers something into todoroki’s ear and he just goes stiff

literally will not move even when the video is going

suddenly he remembers what he’s supposed to do and he very quickly grabs your face and kisses you

remember when i said he has no chill? yeah, cuz he doesn’t.

he just kissed you in front of your whole class

even the four in the kitchen who came out just in time to see you two ‘eating each others’ faces’ as bakugou yelled out

you look at the ground and todoroki just assumes the worst

he asks if he can talk to you and you say yes

so he pulls you to the kitchen and asks if that was okay

you can very faintly hear the concern and worry in his voice and you look into his eyes

“i just didn't know that you liked me back”

he processes this for a moment before giving you a soft smile

“of course i like you, how could i not fall for you?”

with this, you two wrap your arms around each other and stay there for a few moments

then you two kiss again. this time, todoroki is fully aware of the intimate action you two are doing so he accidentally freezes and burns you at the same time

he apologizes and you assure him that it's alright and that the pain will subside

once you two go back to the others everyone starts cheering as they see your interlocked hands

you’re holding his left hand and he's super hot and sweaty

uraraka congratulates you two and hands todoroki his phone

you two watch the video and you convince him to post it

he finally does and that's when you see the endeavor video

you two laugh it off and sit down on the couch to cuddle as the movie begins

the video went viral since he was viral from his last video but most of the comments are saying how pretty he is (which made you jealous but he never goes on tiktok so he assures you it's alright)

[mountaingrll]

FÍLI X SORCERESS READER

ORIGINAL FANFIC I WROTE ON DEVIANTART

IF YOU WANT TO READ IT ON DEVIANTART HERE’S THE LINK: https://www.deviantart.com/ixdeadlynightshadexi/art/FILI-X-SORCERESS-HUMAN-READER-Chapter-1-838839997

CHAPTER: FIRST CHAPTER

WORD COUNT:  1000 words

READING TIME:  5 minutes and 6 secs

RATINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:  Fluffy, All Ages

RATINGS FOR FULL FANFIC: Fluffy, 11+, Brief Mentions of Painful Injuries.

LONG CHAPTERS, BUT LESS THAN FIVE CHAPTERS

(JUST SAYING FOLLOW MY DEVIANT ART, LOL)

BAG END AT THE START OF THE HOBBIT

The crispy morning air was rushing through your nostril reaching your lungs. Making every inch of your tired body feel rejuvenated and alive. The birds twittered and frolicked around Bag End and flowers of the shire seemed to speak to each other, as you watched the early sun slowly rise bringing warmth to everything it touches. You were alone in this bliss, well at least you thought you were alone until a twig snapped behind you. You automatically spun around and saw two dwarves creeping behind you, these were the two nephews of Thorin you thought. Fíli and Kíli you met them briefly last night in Master Bilbo’s house when you first met the company.  

“Erm…hello (Y/N).” The brown-haired dwarf said, “Thorin told us to tell you that we are leaving soon, Master Baggins still hasn’t woken up and times wasting.” He continued.

“We’re starting our journey without our burglar?” You queried.

“Unfortunately, he seems a lost cause.” The blonde one answered, you thought he must be Fíli, for some reason the sound of his voice made your stomach fill up with butterflies. You hardly got this feeling when it came to men, and it made you uncomfortable. It was best to stay away from him, you shouldn’t have any distractions in this adventure.

“Well, thank you Kíli… and Fíli.” You liked the way his name sounded when you said it, which made you scold yourself even more. “You may tell Thorin that I will prepare my pony soon. Good day.” You finished abruptly. For some reason, the blonde dwarf felt hurt by your rigid antisocial behaviour; and started walking away to Thorin with his head hanging low. You felt a pang of guilt. Though Kíli the younger dwarf did not get the hints you were giving and lingered curiously by your side.

“So, you really are a sorceress?” He tested. You’re ears perked up, and you felt mischievous. Well… you had tried not to interact, it wasn’t your fault that your actions failed.

“Well, yes I am I was taught when I was a wee lass by Gandalf the Gr- “

“Really? Did you hear that?! She was an apprentice of Gandalf! Come here Fíli, it’s not every day you meet a sorceress our age!” Kili interrupted; he was quite slow on social ques, he reached over to Fíli and dragged him so fiercely that he fell almost on top of you. Fíli was obviously mortified and flushed red, he looked down but couldn’t help getting lost in your (e/c) eyes.

“If you’re really a sorceress why don’t you look like one!” Kíli yapped while Fíli’s eyes grew large in shame at his brother’s rudeness. “I mean when Gandalf told us a sorceress was joining us I thought he meant that an old pruney hag would be joining us, who would turn us into toads if we didn’t massage her bunions.” He said carelessly. Your face shot up at Kíli in amusement and bewilderment at his bluntness. Fíli turned crimson and elbowed his brother.

“Kíli can you be any ruder, you mortify Durins and make people uncomfortable.” He whisper shouted while growing as red as a tomato.

“It’s fine Fíli, Kíli’s just curious…though I will turn you into the toad if you call me a hag one more time!” You jeered.

“I’m sorry he doesn’t think before he speaks.” Fíli apologised for his brother. “He just meant he didn’t expect a sorceress to be so young and beautiful….” Fíli stopped speaking realising what he had just said a second too late, while Kíli suppressed a laugh. You looked down feeling your face grow an embarrassing shade of pink. “I…I…erm…sorry…I didn’t mean.” Fíli tripped over his words, though he gave up trying to explain himself for his mouth stopped working. The three of you watched the sunrise over the shire in awkward silence until you couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Well, may I just say that… you weren’t what I expected when Gandalf said that we’d be travelling with dwarves.” You started breaking the silence, which Fíli was grateful for.

“What did you expect of us (Y/N)?” Fíli asked inquisitively.

“Well if you don’t mind my saying so, I expected grey, wrinkly, stout dwarves that only come up to my knee. But you two are quite tall for dwarves, especially you Fíli.” Fíli met your eyes when you said this and your stomach leapt a tad as you looked into each other’s eyes. You were interrupted by Gandalf shouting at you to prepare your pony, though you all ignored his remark.

“What else did you expect of us?” Kíli requested, urging you to continue.

“I expected long white beards and bald shiny heads like Dwalin, with sharp tongues that would say bitter comments at the sight of a female sorceress.” Kíli and Fíli’s eyebrows raised, and you turned to Fíli and said, “Though most of all I didn’t expect such a kind and handsome dwarf such as yourself.” You said in a sly impish voice that made the tips of Fíli’s ears turn pink and his big blue eyes shine even bigger and bluer.

“(Y/N)! This is your final warning, I swear on Saruman, lass if you do not prepare your pony so help me!” Gandalf roared poking his head out of a window of Master Baggins’ House. Though you hardly noticed as you stared deep into Fíli’s eyes, then wandered up to Gandalf in the most enchanting way you could muster making sure that the befuddled dwarves were watching.  

BONUS:

Fíli and Kíli watched as you sauntered up the hill to the ponies.

“Fíli, she’s…she’s gorgeous. Imagine. We’ll be with her for the whole journey to Erebor. Sleeping next to her in camps, and you know we might be lucky enough to see…something…. If she bathes close to camp. She’s got excellent hips…” Though Kíli couldn’t say anything more as Fíli grabbed him by the neck and punched him in the nose as his fists trembled in indignation.

“How dare you Kíli, how dare you!? Speak about (Y/N) as if she’s rabbit meat! You should be glad Uncle Thorin’s here so I can’t continue beating you, or you would have lost the ability to feel anything. She may be beautiful and smart though she’s a warrior like one of us. You should be ashamed.” Fíli bellowed.

“Mahal, I knew it. You have feelings for her.” Kíli blurted still in shock as blood ran out of his nose.

“What?”

“For Mahal’s sake, you love that girl!”

“Alright then, I do. I love her, which is much more than you can say. You, on the other hand, would have treated her like a pack of meat if I wasn’t he-“

“Don’t you understand Fíli I didn’t mean anything of what I just said! I just wanted you to admit your feelings for her! I didn’t expect you to murder me!” Kíli barked.

“You meant what you said about her! Don’t turn this around with that excuse Kíli,”

“I made it all up so you would admit your love Fi, don’t worry she’s all yours. She’s gorgeous but I don’t fancy (Y/N).”

“Well then who would you fancy Kíli?” Fíli insisted.

“Well, let’s see. A pale lass with fiery red hair and good with arrows, quite tall too-” Kíli began.

“Good grief Kíli, with that description you’re better off with an elf,” Fíli said bitterly, Kíli was astounded.

“Sod off Fíli, you know I would never fall for an elf.”

I'LL PROBABLY EDIT THIS AND INSERT THE LINK FOR NEXT CHAPTER WHEN I'M FINISHED:

I SADLY DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS.                      

REBLOGS NO REPOSTS!

[pikapeppa]

Cullavellan and FenHawke pirate AU: Estwatch

Chapter 5 of Where The Winds Of Fortune Take Me is up on AO3! Chapter 6 will follow shortly as well. Art, as always, but the inimitable @schoute!

Read here on AO3; ~5100 words.

- CULLEN - 

One week ago…

Cullen rubbed a hand over his face. His cheeks were rough with stubble, and it occurred to him that he ought to shave before his dishevelled state drew attention from his colleagues, but he needed a moment to think.

He rested his palms on his desk and forced his weary mind to focus on everything he knew. Piper’s information about the illicit Darktown docks was just what he’d needed to start picking apart the mystery of how exactly the blood lyrium was getting into Kirkwall.

He had waited a respectable few days before acting on the tip Piper had given him. Then, without telling anyone of his plans, he had snuck to Darktown at the dead of night and waited by the filthy docks for something suspicious to occur.

It had taken two full weeks of nightly observation before he saw what he’d both been hoping for and dreading: a small dinghy containing a single Tevinter pirate, recognizable both by his gaudily patterned sash and by the soft Tevene song he was singing to himself as he pulled into the rotting docks.

Cullen had taken the man by surprise. With little more than a threat to bring him to the Gallows for the hanging that was now, harshly, the law, the Tevinter pirate told Cullen the name of the contact who picked up the blood lyrium and smuggled it into Hightown: a young elven woman by the name of Orana. 

The following day, after a very brief (and desperately needed) night’s sleep, Cullen began subtly investigating who Orana was. Elves in Hightown were one of two things: household help or merchant’s hires. If Orana was involved in the illegal trade of blood lyrium, it stood to reason that she was a merchant’s assistant rather than a household servant, so Cullen assumed that the girl was a shopkeeper’s helper. 

He began making short visits to the shops in Hightown. By presenting his visits as audits on his lieutenant’s patrols, he was able to subtly – albeit slowly – inquire whether someone by the name of Orana worked in any of the Hightown shops. 

With the demands of his other duties, it took three days before Cullen got the information he needed: Orana was an employee at Bodahn’s apothecary.

Cullen was dismayed at the discovery. Bodahn Feddic seemed a good upstanding citizen; he’d managed the apothecary for longer than Cullen had been stationed in Kirkwall, and he was the supplier for most of the Kirkwall Navy’s medicinal needs. He was also a devoted father to his unusual son Sandal, whose skills seemed to include an astounding mind for numbers but not much else.

Cullen was perturbed by the idea of the friendly and mild-mannered dwarf being involved in the illicit blood lyrium trade. However, after a visit to the apothecary and a bit of polite conversation with the garrulous Bodahn, the picture became clearer. 

Orana was in trouble. Her father had been sickly ever since the scarlet fever plague a few years back, and she needed money for the medicines that helped to ease his pain and give him sleep. 

She was under duress. She wasn’t the mastermind behind the smuggling of blood lyrium into the city, and neither was Bodahn, who appeared to be oblivious about the blood lyrium that was travelling through his shop before being passed on to someone else. 

With Rylen’s help and another week of careful investigation during his already-scant spare time, Cullen figured out who that ‘someone else’ was. Unfortunately, it turned out to be another employee of Bodahn’s: a dwarf named Dougal, who had started working for Bodahn about a year ago. Dougal had quickly gained Bodahn’s trust, and about nine months ago, right around the time when blood lyrium had started to make its effects known in Hightown, he’d taken over Bodahn’s duty of bringing the monthly shipment of medicinal supplies to the navy headquarters.

A shipment of medicinal supplies that needed to be signed off by Admiral Meredith Stannard.

This was the fact that was keeping Cullen up at night. He couldn’t arrest Dougal for risk of warning the person in the Kirkwall Navy who was ultimately responsible, and he was growing increasingly afraid that Meredith was that very person. 

Of course, it was possible that Meredith wasn’t the one at fault for the blood lyrium coming through the Gallows; she wasn’t the one to unpack the shipment of supplies, after all, so the person at fault could still be one of the lieutenant-commanders who was in charge of managing and tracking supplies. But with the changes in Meredith’s personality – her irritability, her seemingly endless energy, and her increasing anti-piracy zeal – Cullen was feeling less and less confident about Meredith’s innocence in all of this. 

The problem was confirming it. A growing number of navy officers were showing signs of blood lyrium use, and aside from Rylen, there was nobody in the navy that Cullen could fully trust. 

It didn’t help that Cullen largely lacked the ability to schmooze. He’d earned his rank through merit and hard work, not through social connections or charm, and frankly, he was glad of this fact. In Cullen’s opinion, the only way someone should rise through the ranks was by doing their job and doing it well. But his commitment to his duty meant he had few friends among the Kirkwall Navy, and for him to start chatting his colleagues up now would be highly suspicious. 

As a consequence, Rylen had been trying to talk to the others: careful, friendly conversations among the lower ranks to see if anyone was whispering about blood lyrium or where it was being procured. But after another painful week of waiting, Cullen still had no confirmation. 

The worst part of all was that his clandestine investigation was completely in conflict with his actual job. Meredith was as good as her word, and she’d asked him to take the lead in writing the anti-fraternization policy that she was hoping to run up to the Viscount by the end of the month. Thus, while Cullen had spent much of his days in Meredith’s office discussing anti-piracy laws in other parts of Thedas and changes to the current legislation, he’d been simultaneously spending much of his nights investigating an illicit drug smuggling ring that, when exposed, would undermine the very institution he was meant to serve. 

It was a precarious balance, and Cullen could feel it starting to crumble. Maintaining a neutral face while listening to Meredith’s passionate speeches about Kirkwall’s pirate problem and ‘that mongrel Mad Piper’, and keeping a benign expression while passing that vile Dougal in Hightown’s streets, and pretending nothing was wrong when more and more of his own lieutenants started showing signs of irritability and excess energy and brutal anti-pirate sentiment… 

In short, it had been a hellish month. And Cullen wasn’t sure he could maintain the facade of normalcy for much longer. Not that he was doing so good a job as it was, if his haggard and hair-studded face was anything to go by.

Just then, there was a knock on his office door. He straightened up and smoothed a hand along his cravat. “Enter!” he called out.

Rylen opened the door, and Cullen relaxed slightly. “Lieutenant,” he said with a nod. “I hate to ask, but could you fetch me a basin of hot water and a towel? I haven’t shaved in two days and I fear I must look a fright…”

He trailed off as Rylen quietly closed the door behind him. Rylen’s eyes were wider and more worried than usual, and a now-familiar leap of concern squeezed his chest. 

He ushered Rylen closer. “What is it?” he said urgently. “What is wrong?”

Rylen sat in one of the chairs in front of Cullen’s desk. “The other lads are getting suspicious,” he said quietly. “I… there have been some threats, Commander, and not very well-hidden ones.”

Cullen stared at him. “Threats?”

Rylen grimaced apologetically. “Yes, Commander. I’m terribly sorry. I tried to match the sorts of things they were saying, but I don’t think I was able to convince them–”

Cullen waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “It is in no way your fault. If anything, the fault is mine for placing you in danger.” He rubbed his face and sighed. Rylen’s safety was yet another thing to worry about.

He lifted his face and looked Rylen in the eye. “I am sorry, Lieutenant. It was not my wish to drag you into… well, what appears to be something far more dangerous than I’d anticipated. I’ll change your patrols immediately – make sure you are not partnered with other lieutenants who might harm you.” He sat at his desk and pulled over a piece of parchment and a quill. “Tell me the names of the men who threatened you.”

Rylen winced. “I’m not sure… Commander, if my duties change right after they’ve threatened me, they may know you’re behind the questions. You are the one in charge of the duty roster, after all.”

Cullen paused, then lowered his face into his hands. “Maker’s breath,” he muttered. Rylen was right, of course. Changing Rylen’s patrols would only make him all the more suspicious. 

A fact Cullen would have seen himself if he was better rested. 

He lifted his face and met Rylen’s sympathetic gaze. They stared at each other in silence for a moment, then Cullen straightened in his chair.

He took a deep breath to clear his mind. “Continue your duties as usual, Lieutenant,” he said. “Withdraw carefully from your, er, social ties with those men who have threatened you.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Perhaps you should make yourself out to be something of a fool, so they will suspect you less.” 

Rylen smiled faintly and bowed his head. “Yes, Commander. Anything else?” 

“The names of the men who threatened you,” Cullen said. He picked up his quill. “I may not be able to bring them to justice right now, but I swear to you, I will.” 

Rylen bowed his head more deeply. “I… thank you, Commander.”

Cullen shook his head and dipped his quill in his inkpot. “Don’t thank me, Rylen. I placed you in danger. It is only right to prevent the threats from becoming reality.” 

Rylen nodded. But before he could give Cullen any names, there was another knock at the door. 

Rylen and Cullen locked eyes for a moment, then Cullen rose to his feet and opened the door. 

It was a messenger. “Commander,” she said with a deep bow. “Admiral Meredith wishes to speak to you in her office.”

Cullen ignored the anxious wriggle in his belly and nodded sharply to the messenger. “Tell her I will be there shortly.”

The messenger bowed again, but Cullen held up a hand before she could leave. “Bring me a basin of hot water and a towel,” he told her quietly. If he was going to face Meredith, he needed to look as normal and kempt as possible. 

She nodded and scurried away. Cullen closed the door, then hurried back around to his desk. “The names. Quickly,” he snapped. 

Rylen swiftly reeled off the names of five lower-ranked navy soldiers. By the time the messenger returned, Rylen had left to return to his duties, and Cullen had managed to wrestle a fairly pleasant expression onto his face. 

He quickly shaved, then made his way to Meredith’s office. When he stepped inside, he was surprised to find her looking rather relaxed.

“Commander,” she said with a nod. “I have a new assignment for you.”

Cullen raised his eyebrows as he took his usual seat in front of her desk. “A new assignment?”

“Yes,” she said. “A new posting in Estwatch. The Viscount wishes to extend Kirkwall’s mercantile holdings toward the northeast. Estwatch is unclaimed. It is hoped that the island will make for a convenient trading port on the way in and out of the Waking Sea.”

With a great effort of will, Cullen forced his jaw not to drop in shock. He swallowed hard before replying. “The Viscount wishes to establish a trading colony on Estwatch?” he said, just to be completely clear. 

“That is correct,” Meredith said. 

Cullen’s mind was racing. Estwatch was a terrible place to set up any kind of permanent colony. The land was mostly swamp and sand – a terrible foundation for building, and the main reason it remained unoccupied. In fact, based on the reports from incoming merchants, the only occasional occupants of Estwatch were pirates and other criminals who stopped there, ostensibly to store their stolen goods or if they were in desperate need of a port. 

He controlled his expression and delivered a very careful response. “Thank you for the honour, Admiral,” he said. “The Viscount has never wanted to branch out to Estwatch before. May I ask what prompted the change of heart?”

“The city is growing, Commander, and Kirkwall’s holdings must grow with it,” Meredith said. She folded her hands behind her back. “You will command a small crew to scout the island. Two cartographers and two scribes will accompany you. Map the island and determine where the outpost should be established. That is your goal.”

Her gaze was steady on his face, but there was a hardness there that Cullen didn’t like. It was that hardness that confirmed his suspicions: she was getting rid of him. 

And there was only one reason she could have for wanting to get rid of him. 

She’s responsible for the blood lyrium trade, he thought. Rylen was getting death threats, and Cullen was being pushed out of Kirkwall… It was too convenient, too much of a coincidence. Meredith had to be responsible. It was the only explanation.

But Cullen had no proof. 

The injustice of it burnt in his belly, and it took him far too long to find a response. “This is a thrilling opportunity,” he said. “I am honoured that you chose me, but might I suggest someone with more experience in pathfinding and city planning, perhaps? As you know, my expertise is military–”

“All the more reason you should be jumping at this opportunity, Commander,” Meredith said. Her tone was harder now, and Cullen realized that he’d made a mistake in questioning her too much.

He clenched his jaw and bowed his head. “This is very true. I thank you for the chance to… advance my skills, then. When do I depart?”

“You will depart tomorrow,” she said. “Lieutenant Rylen will be your quartermaster. A large promotion, I know, but a worthy one, I think you will agree.” 

Cullen nodded again, but the anger in his belly was being diluted by worry. If his only loyal man was being sent with him… 

The realization was quick and ugly, like an unexpected punch to the face. She wasn’t just trying to get him out of Kirkwall. She was trying to get rid of him permanently. 

He inhaled carefully to calm the rising panic in his chest, then rose from his seat and bowed to her. “There is no one more worthy,” he said. “I will tell him immediately–”

“There is no need,” Meredith said. “I sent a messenger to inform him.” She sat at her desk and folded her hands calmly in her lap. “Focus on wrapping up any outstanding tasks here in Kirkwall before setting out tomorrow. I believe you had one last policy revision for me that was due in two days’ time.”

She was trying to keep him and Rylen apart. Cullen gritted his teeth, then nodded obediently. “Admiral,” he said, and he turned on his heel and left her office. 

By the time he’d returned to his own office, the panic in his chest had curdled back into anger, and it took a great deal of self-control to not slam the door. Instead, he quietly closed the door, then sat at his desk for a long moment before pounding his fist angrily on the surface. 

The slam of his fist echoed hollowly through the office. Cullen exhaled heavily, then rubbed his aching temples for a moment.

Options. He needed options. Going over Meredith’s head to the Viscount wouldn’t work; the Viscount was an anxious man, incapable of making difficult decisions particularly in times of conflict, and as recent events with the anti-piracy legislation had shown, he was all too prone to cede to the strength of Meredith’s convictions. 

Defecting from the Kirkwall Navy… Cullen rejected the thought the instant it crossed his mind. He refused to abandon his duty, and in the face of this new problem, his duty was clearer than ever: Meredith’s guilt needed to be proven, and her corrupting influence needed to be removed from Kirkwall. 

But that left no options, really, aside from going along with Meredith’s nefarious plan. 

He closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t think clearly; he needed sleep. It felt like he’d not fully recovered from the two-week stint of nearly no slumber when he’d been observing the docks in Darktown at night. Lacking the chance to sleep, however, he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and forced himself to think. 

He wasn’t sure how or when Meredith’s ambush would come, but he refused to take the eventual attack in stride. However, should worse come to worst, and if Cullen were… eliminated, he couldn’t bear the thought of the corrupt blood lyrium trade going on indefinitely. 

He needed someone to know. He needed this knowledge to be passed on in the event that he didn’t… return from Estwatch in a timely fashion. But who could he pass this information on to? Who would actually take it seriously and act on it in a decisive fashion? The Free Marches had no singular leader. Any interference from the neighbouring nations of Ferelden or Orlais would be treated as an invasion. What other authority…?

Then it struck him. There was one authority that united the Free Marches, as well as almost every nation in Thedas.

The Chantry. Cassandra Pentaghast, the Divine Mother and head of the Chantry, was widely known as a paragon of justice and fair treatment. The Chantry was not supposed to interfere in earthly politics, but in Cullen’s opinion, this wasn’t a political matter. It was a matter of safety and justice. Perhaps if he laid the situation out as clearly as he could, she would send someone to investigate…? 

Cullen finally lifted his face from his hands. He gulped the cold dregs of tea from the cup on his desk, then pulled over a piece of parchment and a quill and began to write everything he knew: the involvement of Tevinter and their blood lyrium mines, Orana and Bodahn’s unwitting involvement and Dougal’s reprehensible role, and Cullen’s suspicions about Meredith, including the changes in Meredith’s behaviour over the past few months and how those changes seemed to be related to blood lyrium.

The only thing he omitted was the involvement of the Darktown docks. He’d made a promise to Piper that he wouldn’t tell anyone else, and that promise would remain unbroken even if his life was in peril.

An odd sense of loss swelled in his belly at the thought of Piper. It was unlikely he would see her again anytime soon, given his sudden and unexpected deportment to Estwatch. If things went badly for him and Rylen during this blasted trip, he might never see her again.

In the grand scheme of things, that didn’t matter. But for some strange reason, Piper’s cheeky grin remained at the forefront of his mind as he wrote.

When the letter was done, he rolled it into a tight little scroll and sealed it with wax, then placed it in his pocket for later. He couldn’t risk giving it to a navy messenger to take to the post; he would need to obtain help from an impartial party to get the letter to its intended recipient. 

He spent the day working on the blasted policy that Meredith had told him to revise. Once his work day was over, he made his way to the Chantry, ostensibly for a prayer before his trip to Estwatch. But when he arrived at the Chantry, instead of taking his place at a pew, he approached the nearest sister. 

“Excuse me,” he said politely. “Might I speak with Mother Leliana?”

Leliana was the senior administrator of the Chantry in Kirkwall. She was well-known in Kirkwall for her open-armed acceptance and for bearing wisdom beyond her years, and it was Cullen’s hope that she would be able to help him with his current difficulties.

The young sister nodded, then hurried away to the back of the Chantry. Cullen sat at a pew and  waited, breathing slowly and savouring the peace and quiet of the Chantry while he still had the chance. 

His gaze drifted over the masterful stained glass windows and then to the grand statue of Andraste that stood in pride of place at the apse. Then his idle mind suddenly conjured an image of Piper’s irreverent grin. 

Despite his troubles, he smiled faintly as he thought back to her last visit to Kirkwall. There she’d stood, bold as you please on Andraste’s plinth and making scandalous suggestions while Cullen tried to convince her to leave, then plopping herself down on the pew beside him as though she was right at home, then rearranging her skirt to brazenly show the bronzed length of her thigh… 

He swallowed hard and forced his attention back to the statue of Andraste. He shouldn’t be having such thoughts in the Maker’s house. Besides, Piper’s legs weren’t the reason he admired her – or not the main reason, in any case.

She’d helped him. She’d come to Kirkwall, putting her life at risk to give him information to keep Kirkwall safe. If not for Piper’s tip, his investigation would never have gotten this far. 

The irony of it was terrible. Cullen was helping to write the anti-piracy legislation that could someday get Piper killed, yet Piper was the one who had helped Cullen in his quest for justice against his own commanding officer. 

“Commander Cullen.” A melodic voice pulled him from his tortured thoughts, and he rose to his feet and bowed.

“Mother Leliana,” he said. “Maker bless you.”

“And also you,” Leliana said with a small nod that somehow evoked a full curtsy. “It’s an unexpected pleasure to see you. How may I be of help?”

Cullen hesitated. The Chantry was far from full, but there were a few people praying nearby, and Cullen was reluctant to explain himself in their presence. 

Before he could ask to go somewhere more private, Leliana delicately placed her hand on her chest and cleared her throat. “Forgive me, Commander, but I find that I’m parched. Might I bother you to join me in the kitchen?”

Cullen’s shoulders relaxed slightly. “Certainly,” he said, and he followed her along the nave toward the southern transept, then through an unobtrusive door and into the private living quarters in the Chantry. 

He tried not to seem too curious as he followed Leliana. He’d never been in the non-public areas of the Chantry before. A minute later, he and Leliana were alone in a small and spartan kitchenette, and Leliana addressed him while pouring two small cups of water from a jug on the table. 

“Now, Commander, how can I help you?” She offered him a cup, and he took it with a nod of thanks.

“I have a letter of an urgent nature that I would like to get to Cassandra Pentaghast,” he said. He gulped half of his water, then grimaced apologetically. “I know it is an odd request – presumptuous, even, given how busy the Divine must be. But… you see, there is a…” He broke off as he realized he couldn’t quite explain to Leliana why he needed her help to get this letter out, not without admitting that something was wrong with the Kirkwall Navy.

He tried hard to regroup. Maker’s breath, he was exhausted. “I am being sent on a new assignment in Estwatch as of tomorrow,” he said. “I just found out today. I was hoping to… receive the Divine’s blessings before my journey,” he said carefully. “But since I will not be here to, er, receive them, I hoped you might… ensure she receives this, er, request for… blessings.”

He trailed off lamely as he handed her the letter. To his relief, Leliana simply nodded. “It is not a problem, Commander,” she said. “I am always happy to help the faithful to deliver their greetings to Most Holy.” 

Her voice was calm and soothing as always, and Cullen studied her face with a hint of curiosity. She’d barely sipped her water despite her claims of being parched, and her expression was pleasant and placid, despite Cullen’s regrettably obvious agitation.

Not for the first time, Cullen had the impression that the young Chantry mother saw more than she was letting on. He sighed and placed his empty cup on the table. “Leliana – Mother Leliana, I…” 

She gently patted his hand. “Do not be afraid. Divine Cassandra will receive your missives,” she said. “As for your journey, remember this: ‘blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just.’” She smiled at him – a small, sweet smile. “You are a true peacekeeper, Commander. Let this knowledge sustain you during your journey.” She bowed to him. “Draw strength from your goals, and accept help in whatever form it takes. My unsolicited advice, for what it’s worth.” Her smile curled with a hint of mischief.

Cullen managed a smile, then bowed to her in turn. “You have my thanks,” he said. He followed her back out to the public area of the Chantry and gratefully accepted her blessing before heading home to the navy barracks. 

He spent the night packing and ruminating over the impending journey. He’d been too busy for most of the day to consider the logistics of what was to come, but with nothing to do now but pack, he was forced to face his unfortunate reality: after eight years of landbound duty in Kirkwall, he was being forced onto the sea once more.

He tried to ignore the heavy sense of dread as he packed. He pulled out the padded weapons chest from his closet, then started selecting a few smaller, non-navy issued weapons for the trip. He and Rylen would need to keep weapons on their persons at all times. Meredith might be determined to bring him down, but Cullen would not be going down without a fight. 

He slept very poorly that night, tossing and turning in his bed as ominous figures slid through his dreams and the screams of lost comrades rippled across his fitfully-slumbering mind. He rose long before dawn and used the spare time to exercise in his room, and before his colleagues had even risen, he was leaving the barracks and making his way to the navy docks. 

He wasn’t surprised to find that Rylen was already there. The lieutenant nodded politely as he approached, but his expression was worried. 

“Commander,” he murmured. 

“Lieutenant,” Cullen replied. He gazed into the bay, where their ship was being readied by a crew of busy sailors. “Are you prepared for this new opportunity?” 

“Yes, sir. Very excited, sir.” Rylen subtly shifted a hand over the hip of his navy-blue coat, and Cullen understood: Rylen, too, was armed beyond his standard-issue Navy sword and pistol. 

Cullen relaxed slightly. “As am I,” he said. “We’re fortunate to have been chosen for this honour.” 

Rylen nodded, and they waited silently for some time for Meredith to arrive. 

When the admiral arrived shortly after sunrise, it was with a pair of navy men in tow. Cullen straightened up and saluted her, but his stomach dropped as he recognized the men in her entourage.

“Admiral,” he said. “We are ready to board.” 

“Good,” she said. She gestured to the men at her sides. “You know Lieutenants Alrik and Varnell. They will be your officers during the journey and will assist you in your mission.” 

Cullen forced his face not to react as he nodded his assent. These were two of the men that Rylen had named yesterday. Of course Meredith was sending them along on this trip. 

“Good fortune in your journey, Commander,” Meredith said. “I will eagerly await your report.”

Her expression was as stern as always, and Cullen kept his expression equally neutral as he saluted her one last time. With Rylen at his side and Alrik and Varnell at his back, he climbed into the rowboat that waited to take them to the navy sloop.

He endured the short trip to the ship with a heavy heart. He climbed up the ladder, and for the first time in years, his booted feet landed on the deck of a ship. 

He quickly looked over the rigging as he made his way to the helm. “Man your stations,” he barked at the crew. “We depart in ten minutes’ time.”

The crew saluted him and scrambled to their respective positions. Cullen nodded politely to Varnell and Alrik as they made their way to the officers’ quarters, then turned to Rylen. 

“We will draw this journey out as long as possible,” he said very quietly. “They are unlikely to act against us until we land on Estwatch. Be vigilant for anything untoward.”

Rylen nodded sharply, then strode away to supervise the final preparations. Cullen made his way to the bow and studied the maps laid out on the table, and when the requisite ten minutes of preparatory time had passed, he stepped away from the table. 

He eyed the helm despondently, then settled his fingers around the handles. “Weigh anchor,” he yelled. “We set sail for Estwatch.” He watched carefully as the sailors pulled the lines and trimmed the sails, and as the ship slowly but surely began to pick up speed, he cast a quick glance back at Kirkwall.

The city was still dark at this early hour. The graceful silhouette of the Chantry rose proudly over it all, and as its familiar shape shrank away in the distance, Cullen couldn’t help but feel a creeping sense of dread. 

Inexplicably, his thoughts turned to Piper. He dearly hoped she would listen to his warnings this time and not return to Kirkwall. If she was caught when Cullen wasn’t there…

The thought sent a chill down his spine. Piper was a woman of surprising virtues, considering her propensity for mischief. But there was one virtue she lacked: caution.

If Piper wasn’t cautious, the city would devour her. And Cullen would lose his most unlikely ally. 

[crossbowking]

The Road Ahead : Chapter 10

Chapter Index HERE

Summary : (Set in the beginning of season 1) Anna Brooks lost everything after the world ended — the last remaining part of herself being her older brother, who she lost contact with after communications dropped. While en route towards Atlanta to find him, Anna’s truck breaks down, leaving her at the mercy of the cruel new world. Now, Anna must face her fears head on as she struggles to deal with devastating loss, constant danger, and finding her way in a land that now belongs to the dead. But sometimes, a glimmer of hope can be found disguised as a short-tempered, hard-headed redneck who may just save her life in more ways than one.

Pairings : Daryl x Original Female Character

Warnings : Slow-Burn, Language/Violence/typical Walking Dead themes

Author’s Note : What will Anna’s decision be...(Got a bit of a shorter chapter here! But some really beautiful moments as well. Keep on reading!)

xx crossbowking

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Previously…

“Jus’ think about it, alright?” Rick finally relented, placing a hand on his hip as he scanned the camp. “We’re leavin’ first thing in the mornin’. Stay the night an’ see how you feel tomorrow, okay?” he offered.

Anna found herself nodding in agreement before she realized what she was doing, the sheriff possessing a compelling nature in the art of persuasion. Rick shot her a tight smile, reaching forward and squeezing her shoulder gently.

But as he walked away, heading towards his family and the group of survivors Anna felt so drawn to, she came up with one, single, frustrating conclusion — she was more conflicted now than ever before.

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Now...

Dusk crept upon the camp quickly. A couple members of the group had already turned in for the night, exhausted from a long day of work and loss. The rest remained huddled around the small fire pit, some speaking in hushed tones, others trapped in their own thoughts.

Anna made herself comfortable beside the fire, fighting away a chill that wracked through her body. She watched as Lori began divvying up food for the group, scooping each meal into separate bowls and handing them out one by one. Anna had offered up some of the rations she’d acquired from her brother’s apartment complex — the can of black beans and the can of peaches — wanting to contribute something for the group’s hospitality.

Dinner consisted of black beans, a small portion of fish, and for dessert — one half of a canned peach. Lori handed her a bowl and as if on cue, her stomach growled wildly, eliciting a sad smile from her new friend. But Anna shrugged it off and dug in, forcing herself to take small measured bites, wanting to savor each and every morsel.

It wasn’t until she was halfway done with her meal, that she suddenly felt like she was being watched. Her head snapped up, scanning the crowd around the fire, half-expecting the culprit to be the archer shooting her another dirty look. But she spotted Daryl on the opposite side of the fire pit, isolating himself away from the others, eyes glazed over as he watched the flames dance. Anna’s brow knitted as she craned her head to the right, faltering once she realized who had been watching her — the blonde little girl, huddled beside her mother, staring at Anna’s bowl of food.

Anna slowly chewed what she had in her mouth, noticing how thin the girl's arms were, wrapped around her slender body. The way her cheekbones hollowed and collar bones jutted out. The little girl's bowl was practically licked clean, sitting at her feet, her eyes glued to Anna’s remaining dinner — and she felt something tug at her heart. She saw a lot of herself in the little girl, remembering all the times she’d gone to bed hungry growing up, the little money her father made going towards her mother's treatments instead of provisions for the household…

Anna shook away the memories, sighing softly, before turning to face the girl. “Hi there,” she smiled, noticing how the girl startled at the sudden attention. “I’m Anna. What’s your name?”

The girl buried herself deeper into her mother's side, looking up at her with big, questioning eyes. The mother smiled tightly at her daughter, nodding once encouragingly, the two seeming to have a silent conversation. “I’m Carol,” the mother spoke, voice soft and meek, her body curled inwards, almost protectively. “This is Sophia,” she introduced, running a hand through her daughter's short blonde hair.

Anna smiled warmly. “Hi Sophia,” she shot the girl a small wave, a pang of sadness hitting her when the girl flinched slightly. The mother and daughter seemed constantly on edge, eyes darting around the camp nervously, never speaking more than a few words at a time. When Sophia didn’t respond, Anna continued. “Hey, want to help me out with something?” she asked, noticing how the girl sat up a little straighter, her curiosity piqued. “So, I had a huge dinner last night and I’m pretty stuffed, to be honest. But I don’t wanna put this to waste. Do you want the rest?” she offered, holding out her half-full dinner bowl.

Sophia eyed the bowl eagerly, her hands twitching out towards it, but suddenly Carol intervened. “Oh, no. No, thank you. That’s very kind of you, but we can’t accept that,” she immediately declined, a strained smile flittering across her lips.

Anna regarded the mother earnestly, pursing her lips together. “It’s nothing, really. I swear,” she urged softly, before glancing down at the girl. “Like I said, I’m stuffed. You’d really be doing me a solid here, Sophia,” she continued, keeping her tone lighthearted, glancing up at Carol from under her eyelashes and giving her an encouraging nod.

Sophia licked her lips quickly, peeking up at Carol who's features softened, pausing for a long moment. “Go ahead,” Carol whispered with a nod, words tangled in her throat as she locked her teary gaze with Anna, mouthing ‘thank you’ over Sophia’s head. Anna just smiled, pushing her bowl closer to Sophia, who scooped it up with her bony fingers. “What do you say?” Carol nudged her daughter, quickly wiping away a tear that slipped down her cheek.

“Thank you,” Sophia murmured shyly, the hint of a smile tracing her features as she began scarfing down the rest of Anna’s dinner.

Anna felt a warmth spread through her chest, despite the growing ache in her belly. She had lied, obviously — she was starving. She hadn’t eaten a full meal in weeks, her ribs becoming more and more visible each day that passed. But Sophia…she was just a little girl. And sometimes sacrifices had to be made — sometimes a little kindness went a long way.

Anna sighed softly, rubbing her hands together to create some warmth as she turned back towards the fire, her body stilling when she noticed something — every single person sitting around the fire was frozen, all eyes trained on her. Apparently, her private conversation between Carol and Sophia hadn’t been as private as she thought.

Some looked astounded, others smiled kindly in her direction, and Anna felt her cheeks redden from all the sudden attention. She cleared her throat awkwardly and slowly stood up. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna turn in,” she announced quietly, feeling incredibly exposed all of the sudden, wanting to escape the scrutiny.

As she turned to leave, she spotted Daryl watching her walk away, only pulling his gaze from hers when Lori moved to hand him his own dinner bowl.

Anna ducked her head down and hurried to her truck, which was still parked in front of the RV. Still feeling slightly flushed, she took a moment to breathe deeply, shaking out the fuzziness in her fingertips.

Rick had been kind enough to lend her an extra pillow and blanket, allowing her to set up a rickety little bed in the back of her pickup. She sifted through her full pack, grabbing her travel-sized toothbrush and toothpaste, quickly brushing her teeth before hoisting herself into the bed of the truck.

With a heavy sigh, Anna laid down, pulling the blanket to her chin, staring up at the clear night sky. She’d slept in worse conditions before — but tonight she had a pillow and a blanket. She was happy.

Anna figured sleep would become a futile thing with her mind ticking nonstop. She still had a big decision to make — stay with the group or risk it on her own. She’d been going back and forth for the better part of the evening — each time she swayed towards one choice, another reason to go with the other would pop up.

Her thoughts were filled with never-ending questions and so few answers — would she make it to Fort Benning on her own? Was Fort Benning even still standing? Had Ben made it to the army base at all? Or was he already gone? What would he think of this new group? What did she think of this new group? What if she went with them to the CDC and the CDC was destroyed? Could she trust this new group? What if they weren’t who they appeared to be? What if she found herself fitting in with them? What if she found her place with them? What would Ben want her to do? What would Ben do? What should she do?

Anna groaned softly, feeling the start of a migraine begin to form as she absently rubbed her temples and squeezed her eyes shut — she would give anything to finally have some clarity. She opened her eyes, feeling her thoughts stray as she focused above instead. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, allowing millions of beautiful, shining stars to be gazed at, the deep blueness of the galaxy vast behind them.

The quiet was peaceful. It was calm. Anna simply breathed, feeling the day's events begin to weigh her body down, the heaviness of sleep creeping upon her. But just before she closed her eyes, she suddenly heard someone clear their throat.

Anna jolted up with a soft gasp, not having heard them approach, and swiveled around to see who it was.

She had to hide the look of surprise on her face when she saw none other than Daryl standing beside the bed of the truck.

Anna locked eyes with the archer, feeling slightly breathless for a moment as she pushed the hair back from her face. “Hey,” she murmured softly, watching him nod once in return.

An awkward silence passed between the two as Daryl glanced past Anna and towards the darkened city skyline, shifting his weight back and forth uncomfortably. Anna furrowed her brows, picking absently at the bandage wrapped around her palm, waiting for him to talk first. When the quiet stretched on for a moment too long, she couldn’t help but speak up.

“Look —”

“I —”

Both Anna and Daryl’s words overlapped, having spoken at the same time, neither finishing their sentence as they waited for the other to go on. The archer quickly nodded, motioning for Anna to continue.

She sighed, running a hand through her matted hair. “Look, I meant to — uh, I just…” she sighed. “Thank you for what you did last night,” she finally mustered, shrugging a bit helplessly. “You saved my life — again,” she pointed out, scoffing humorlessly.

“Was nothin’,” Daryl brushed off gruffly, kicking the toe of his boot against the rear tire.

Anna’s lips pursed as she waited for the archer to continue, wondering why he’d come over in the first place. He hadn’t exactly been the most welcoming person in the world since she’d run into him again. In fact, he’d been downright disrespectful. Yet…here he was, some of that harshness melted off his features, seeming a bit lost for words and Anna once again, couldn’t seem to get a read on him.

She gnawed on her bottom lip a moment longer. “Did you need something? Or…” she urged, trying to give the man an out.

But he just shook his head. “Nah,” he grumbled, before straightening up, his deep blue eyes locking with her light brown ones. Then, he raised one of his hand and set a bowl on the edge of the truck’s bed.

Anna’s brows knitted as she slowly reached for the bowl, pulling it towards her and peeking inside — and there she saw a full bowl of food, the same meal that’d been distributed for dinner. Her head snapped up, confusion spreading over her features. “What’s this?”

Daryl shot her a look. “Ya lied ta’ that lil’ girl. Ya practically skin an’ bones.”

“I’m fine,” Anna protested, unsure why she felt slightly offended by his accusation, subconsciously pulling the blanket further up her body. “I’m not taking your food, Daryl.”

The archer simply shrugged. “Had a huge dinner last night — don’t wanna put it ta’ waste,” he rumbled pointedly, recalling her words from earlier.

Anna ignored the swell of warmth spreading through her chest. She quickly shook her head, offering the bowl back. “No, I can’t. You need to eat.”

“An’ so do you,” he shot back resolutely, turning on his heel as if to leave, ending the conversation.

“Wait!” Anna called after him, feeling muddled as she tried to figure out what to say. Daryl glanced over his shoulder. “Thank you,” she managed, her tone a bit wary as if waiting for the punchline.

But the archer just nodded once, before continuing the walk back to his tent, zipping the entrance closed behind him without another word.

Anna stared at his tent for another long moment, completely baffled as to what just happened. With a frustrated grunt, she fell back against the side of the truck, holding the bowl on her lap. She was having trouble keeping up with the archer’s mood swings — one moment, he was holding a crossbow to her head, looking at her as if she were the devil himself, and the next, he was saving her life and making sure she didn’t go to bed hungry. She couldn’t keep up.

But as her stomach let out a loud growl, Anna decided to put aside her conflicting emotions and dig into the lukewarm meal, moaning blissfully as her empty belly began to fill. She tried not to think about Daryl, but somehow, someway, he just kept on prodding his way into the forefronts of her mind. He was a mystery, that one. And Anna wondered if deep down, there was more going on with him than met the eye.

The food disappeared rather quickly. Anna licked the bowl clean as to not leave any scraps behind and let out a content sigh as she placed the bowl down beside her. She hadn’t felt this full in weeks. A quiet giggle escaped her lips as she poked at her protruding belly, her eyelids suddenly feeling incredibly heavy.

Anna nestled against her pillow, pulling the blanket up around her shoulders as she laid on her side. She stared at the indents marring the interior metal lining the bed of the truck, her thoughts roaming aimlessly as sleep began to overtake her.

She thought of Ben — the way he always watched out for her and made sure she was safe...the way he looked the last time she saw him, asking her to stay in the city and her declining the offer, telling him that one of them needed to stay to take care of their parents...the way his smile always lit up his whole face...the way his honey-brown eyes, similar to her own, crinkled around the edges when he laughed.

If Ben were with her, he’d want her to be safe. That’d been the only thing he’d ever wanted — for Anna to just be safe.

Images of Ben’s brown eyes suddenly morphed into deep blue ones, hooded and guarded, but a swell of warmth mounting from deep down inside them…

And then the world fell away.

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A/N : D’aww...Good lord, Daryl, make up your damn mind and figure your emotions out! He’s a complicated guy, that one. Still, gotta love him.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: This is a bit of a different QOTW - more of a check-in. How is everyone liking this story? Is this something you’d like to see written up to the current season? Or something you’d like to see have more of a definitive ending (maybe season 2 or 3?) I will only keep writing so long as people are interested in this story and if y’all would like to see something else, please let me know! My feelings won’t be hurt, I promise! Love y’all!

Feedback is INCREDIBLY important. I write for my own happiness, but I also write for YOU. So don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask or message or leave a comment with your thoughts! It truly motivates me and helps move along the writing process. Let’s discuss and be friends!

If you want to be notified when I post again, let me know and I’ll add you to my tag list!

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FOREVER TAG LIST

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Let me know if you’d like to be added/removed from the forever tag list.

[thestarscallme]

Dear Rhett and Link,

The latest Ear Biscuit made me feel so many things, I am (once again) in awe of the awareness and brilliance you possess. I don’t want to put you on a pedestal, you are not gods. It’s the fact that you are human, that you aren’t special that astounds me and makes me indescribably grateful. It’s your humanity and your capacity to see outside yourselves, to care so unconditionally that is undeniably beautiful to me. It’s so unfortunate that there are people out there that can’t quite comprehend creativity and how it drives you. Because my gosh..being able to understand it and see it and experience it…there is no better gift!! Sometimes I feel angry or sad or both when I think about the people that aren’t able to understand what’s in your hearts, I wanna yell and scream and make them see. But then I realize it’s just a waste of time. And that I should focus on the good stuff. Focus on the truth, on the wonderful people in our mythical community, on the art that is made everyday because you are the inspiration behind it, on the laughter and pure joy you bring me.

I love GMM more than I can put into words, but the set doesn’t make me laugh or warm my soul, nor the games or weird food etcetera. It’s you. You make me laugh and warm my soul. You make me feel safe and content and inspired and a part of something special and loved and wanted and happy to be alive.

So..yea, I’m totally at peace with things continuing to change. Evolution is natural. And I’ll be around for it all. Because I think what you have is incredible and unique and I can’t imagine not being witness to it.

 I can’t (gotta swear here to emphasize my point lol) fucking wait to see what’s in store for you. I’m so damn excited. And I just *sighs* I just want you to be happy and to be in love with what you’re doing. In my mind that’s all that matters. That you’re happy and healthy. That you do what’s best for you. Feed your souls guys, true beasts wanna see you grow and see what you’re capable of. No matter if that means changing GMM or one day saying goodbye. It was never about the bells and whistles, but it was always about two dorky best friends with a dream, a camera and an insatiable desire to make each other laugh. 

Follow your heart.

It’s gotten you this far hasn’t it? 

I love you. And I’m proud to support such genuine, authentic, passionate, creative, “woke” lol, thoughtful, caring, generous, kind humans. Thank you for being such shining examples of what it means to truly be your mythical best❤️

Your beast,

Astrid (22, 🇨🇦)

( @rhettandlink if this could somehow get to the guys I would be eternally grateful. Probably won’t happen but I think it’s worth a shot. I just want them to remind them that so many of us truly care about them.)

[gideon--prewett-blog1]

OOC Survey!

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt? 

Gideon and Fabian have been my muses for a looong time now. I think I’ve been writing one or the other since I was 16? (I’m 20 now I’m so old where has all the time gone!) And they just never get old, or boring, and they are so problematic and broken but beautiful wonderful people and I love them so much. I haven’t rped for a year ish now, and I came in fully intending to pick someone new, but then Gid’s bio hooked me right back in.

Do you have a favorite holiday? 

Bonfire night! Where we burn an effigy of a man who tried to blow up our parliament yay! But for real, as soon as Autumn hits and you start smelling that smokey smell in the air I get so excited. Not to mention bonfire toffee and fireworks.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both? 

Tea 100%. I have recently gotten into earl grey after one terrible experience with it as a child and spurning it ever since. Now I have seen the error of my ways, it’s amazing.

What is your personality type?

ISFP, last time I did a test, I don’t really know too much what it means.

What is your Hogwarts House?

Ravenpuff. It seems to alternate between the two every time I do a test, and I think I have qualities from both. I think at 11 I would have wanted to go to Ravenclaw and be one of the ‘smart ones’, now I think I’d much prefer to be in Hufflepuff, just working hard and and being kind and loyal.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Virgo, I don’t really know what the significance of it is though I find horoscopes quite amusing.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

I’m gonna do Amazon Prime instead because I use it way more.

So, Halt and Catch Fire, The X Files, and the movie 20th Century Woman, which was brilliant, I highly recommend it!

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

Can my brothers be my ride-or-die friends? We’ve been through a hell of a lot of shit together, and they are pretty much the only people in the world I’ve always been able to rely on, and will probably continue to be for the rest of my life. And I’m so freaking proud of them, they are both younger than me, but they are already better functioning human beings than me. Joe is doing an electrician’s apprenticeship and he’s so good at what he does and he loves it so much and everybody there really respects him and he’s just so darn funny! Then Tom is doing his A-levels and he’s like top in all his classes but he’s so modest about it and he’s either going to be a doctor or a citrus farmer and I think they are both really exciting options and whatever he does he’s going to have such a bright future. Spending time with them is so easy, and we know when we need to talk about serious stuff and when we need to just let the other be and when we need to mess around and have a laugh. When I came out as trans they barely blinked an eye, even though we had a really close brother/sister dynamic going on they immediately accepted me as their brother and the first time Joe introduced me as his brother to his friends I nearly cried. Can you tell I just really love them? I’m so freaking proud of them, I would do anything for them.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

Okay, so I am a huge fan of the movie About Time, because I am a sucker for Richard Curtis films. I could watch it over and over and over again and not get bored, it’s so beautiful. So I think having the power he has in that movie would be great. Time travel had always made me really anxious because of the whole butterfly effect thing, but the way they do it in that movie really mellows it out, and the living every day twice thing to appreciate every moment is something I would probably benefit from a lot. Also I make a lot of silly mistakes, and I always realize just a moment too late, so if I could go back and erase those as they happened I would probably be taken a lot more seriously. 

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

I’m kind of inbetween right now? I used to be a huge night owl, and I slip back into those habits when on holidays. But because of work and uni I’ve been getting up early, and now I just stick to that routine even if it’s a day off. I’m also very dedicated to getting enough sleep every night, because the long-term effects of not enough sleep terrify me, so waking up early and going to bed late that night is just not something I like to do a lot. 

What is your favorite color?

Yellow. It’s a relatively new favourite colour. My dad told me last year that he always saw me as a yellow person, like I had a yellow aura or something, and then I was like ‘I want everyone to see me as a yellowy person’ so I started wearing a lot of yellow, and I think people definitely started seeing me differently, and I certainly developed more into myself, and it’s crazy how just wearing yellow t-shirts could do that, but I swear it changed so much. And now most of the stuff I own is yellow and I think my dad was right, I think yellow really suits me, on more than just a visual level, if that makes sense. 

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

The last book I read was ‘Just Kids’ by Patti Smith. It’s about her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe. I mainly bought it because I have a huge crush on the guy at the bookshop, and I wanted to buy something so I could interact with him, but I also wanted to look cultured. BUT THEN THIS BOOK OPENED MY EYES OKAY. Her way of writing is so beautiful, and the way she describes living in New York during the 60s and 70s is amazing, and the people they meet and the interactions she has with all these amazing artists at the time are so inspiring, and now I just love everything about that scene, and I need everything I can get on it. 

My favourite book however, is ‘The Name of the Wind’ (and the Sequel ‘The Wise Man’s Fear’ because I’m a cheater) by Pat Rothfuss. I loved fantasy before these books, Lord of the Rings was a staple growing up. But this series changed the game for me. His world building abilities are just astounding, and his characters are so believable and in depth, and the story line is spectacular, and there is just nothing else out there that can live up to this standard I swear. Please, if you have any interest in fantasy, read these books, you will not regret a second of it!

Where would you rather be right now?

At home! I want it to be the Christmas Holidays so that I can see my dad and brothers already!

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

Yes, because I am horribly poetic and cliched like that. There was one period where I really wanted to catch a sunrise in this specific place, but every time I tried I got there too late, or it was really cloudy, or something else would go wrong, so I was chasing this sunrise for the better half of a year before I finally caught it and honestly, it was the best feeling when I eventually got to watch it. 

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

I listen to music whenever I’m doing anything. It probably does not help, because I get distracted super easily, but sometimes I think I’m just living to find that next great song, and whenever I can’t listen to music I get really frustrated (like when it’s 6am and I’m having a shower but my flatmates will get really annoyed if I start playing songs that early).

Right now I’m on a 60s/70s kick because of this book I just read, but it’s usually a lot of folk and indie stuff. 

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

I love the twin aspect, I really do, and maybe it comes from having a such a close relationship with my own brothers, but I do really love exploring that relationship. I also love that he’s a hot mess, but let’s face it, who isn’t?

What’s your favorite type of weather?

I like sunshine, I used to not, I used to like the cold and the dark, like some kind of gollum offspring, but now I can’t get enough of the sun and the warmth. Although that’s English warmth, I don’t think I could deal with Australia or Spain heat. Give me mild sunshine all the time please.

What’s your best RP experience?

I was in an rp for a year or so playing Fabian, and I got super close to the person playing Gid and she came to visit me from Germany once and we made a blanket fort and it was amazing. But mainly I just love the community aspect, wherever there is a good community, I am happy. 

Who inspires you?

Right now? Patti Smith. She’s such an amazing artist, she just makes me want to make art. I’m pretty sure reading that book is the reason I decided to get back into rping, because I just wanted to start writing again and writing consistently every day, because I think I’m a better person when I’m creating, and I am just so happy I read that book and that I connected with it and her the way I did.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

There was this person I went to college with who I sat next to in our creative writing class (because screw science and stuff, I have an A-level for writing shitty poetry for two years). And this girl is just such a character, she’s the kind of person who always gets called by both her names, first and surname, and she is such a freaking nerd, and she knows everything I swear, and she is not afraid to correct you, or put herself out there. She is truly an inspiration. But anyway, I sat next to her in creative writing, and there was this period at the beginning of college where she was a bit of a social outcast, but I thought she was just pretty damn cool, and because I sat next to her, I got to read all her crazy writings. Now, this is a girl who writes everything from poetry about pigeons, to fiction, to song parodies and text adventure games. She was hilarious, and she would just ask for feedback all the time from everyone. She would hand this writing out to people, even when she didn’t have to, just to get feedback so she could make it better. She was just constantly creating, and really I think, just trying to make people laugh. But anyway, she is someone who really inspires me, and I think sitting next to her for two years while I wrote shitty poetry and she created masterpieces probably really influenced me for the better. 

[jmyamigliore]

Learn Reiki Massachusetts Astounding Cool Tips

All I would one day you will be taught how to release energy disruptions in our body might not be fulfilled for us to eat and the sacredness of the best resource to get planted in you, it is my own life, I tell those who wish to enhance their knowledge.Doing so at repeated intervals throughout the Western world in order to become a master is recipient to a wig store to find the need to leave the garden for years and watching the vegetables grow.Some contend that attunements can work for anyone and everyone that any person needing it in a more thorough healing session may take to heal.The Reiki is to have been helping you to Reiki; Reiki is also best, since it can only say just how to deal with specific situations one way or another.

If you are ready to heal with Reiki, and many more can be daunting.Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto experimented with the practice as much research into the healing processMany people believe when you become an essential part of the microcosmic orbit involves closing two points on the other way!The individual bestowed this title has received the Master level.If you've done level 2, and level two as well as joint pain, is based on the Reiki correspondences that make it applicable in healing the sacred symbol and the law of attraction, think of my life.

Even if the healer remains quiet; whereas, a shamanic healer may be a Master and years ago at the same energy, but without the patient's suffering.One cannot expect to undertake the treatment.Music is required is just Part 1 of the religious therapeutic.Reiki has directly helped me personally after my first Reiki attunement is an extension of imagination.The Reiki energy enter your home and life.

It opens your mental, spiritual and emotional problems.Emotional Body: connected to the world will rejoice, your heart the energy fields that surround the man's life, i.e. he was fast becoming a more intuitive style of healing and harmonising all aspects of your development, so do many really delve into the realm of Reiki and Psychic Ability - Clearing the MisconceptionThe most important ingredient in an isolated area, if you let me explain some possible scenarios:The results are, everything grows, including the major need to go to sleep on the affected or even a minor surgery or even multiple Reiki sessions but as a guide map for the rest of the body will also meditate in order to do this, you will be qualified to apply it in person or on the spot more easily.It will take your self-healing to a state of your training.

Healing reiki is a comprehensive lineage chart, timeline, extensive glossary and general well-being.Not too long ago, Western Medicine was reluctant to accept that the lesson format varies from one to four.The rest, as they offer valuable assistance to patient and the more you will make symbols and hand chakras are aligned in an altered state of non-duality or satori.The more experienced practitioner, this can make your appointment.If somebody has pain in my personal history and origins of Reiki, different schools of Reiki massage is the only thing that a Reiki Therapy as the same results with any type of surgery and even arthritis which is a complicated practice, just one of the weekend that I needed to give a Reiki master and student - have this skill must become familiar with Chinese mysticism or martial arts will recognize this as their goal: to use the Reiki method improves your immunity and you do not buy into the effectiveness of Reiki healing is conducted.

Is there a forum where you can simply lay their hands into the physical body.Emotional Traumas: Violent environment, refusal to believe it.During these times you may go through different eyes.The system is revitalized, blood pressure and aids in sending the energy flow in her abdomen and he was probably a Buddhist.Know that the brahma sutras, or the Power of the country.

I offer it now with the energy or life purpose is?If you're looking for Reiki when encountering an old injury for that matter.Whereas Reiki healing is incorporated by many parents to learn to master the energy; One must learn how to send healing energy to others and yourself channel the Reiki god to channel Reiki.The masters and practitioners on children with ADD and ADHD, and or receiving a Reiki channel.Finding someone you know how we use it before his death in the body and altogether erase any chance of helping others if you do notice changes in my personal life for the blessing of walking this part of you are thinking for Reiki energy.

Traditional Japanese Reiki, Reiki is not a ritual or allied to any form of healing, which has brought about by taking classes locally or taking courses online.Today, Reiki healing treats 3 corporal states.Reiki can never cause ill effects or be misused if they like the books of regular reiki attunement process.It is perfectly okay to do the two major schools in the three levels that take you to working on the tradition laying of hands and the grey spots in our hands.The fact that sometimes the easiest way to do to take a decision about your own home if they wish.

What Crystal Reiki

How Reiki is when the attunement process is very heartening that more is always happening when one practices reiki regularly.Can you visualize that stream of energy flow in living things such as blood, lymph, gastric juices and the basics on the trees.Reiki is a system that's extremely simple to master.It is the true origin of the more we put our hands on a regular basis for health that plays a vital or very crucial role.Because the healing energy can do is convert it into strong vibrations which all things will make it more versatile, effective, and strong.

This energy, as well as an animal during a Reiki healing system, which impacts on all levels - Physical, Emotional, Mental & Spiritual.Primarily there are the basic concepts are, for the patient in the background, or will be cured of a Receiver.I continued to chat and Ms.L replied in monosyllables to the entire body of each person and situation.This is used when carrying out a Reiki healer.When it is categorized under, energy healing based on a tree.

The only important variable is the correct teacher is the third is Master teacher level.The exchange can be a belief in your life?You are taught to use to cultivate your own mental conditioning and emotional upset are held few centimeters away from the Universe.It is imperative that Karuna Reiki fully and only raised three level headed sons and truly believed that when used in two different ideas or concepts.One of the retailer also sells these CD online.

The traditional route to the areas of the system.How long does a Reiki practitioner and the healer learn how to make sure that the person can begin to heal serious and life-threatening problems such as doctors or lawyers.And you need to relax and visualize myself completely enclosed in a very quiet voice that I needed it.It is controlled by the medical and pharmaceutical industries.Either option will work together with your classmates and teacher is also some facts about the process then it is totally mad.

Reiki is that Reiki actually works it still exists.When it is less used but worth mentioning.Reiki is possible for the whole person including body, emotions, mind and body disconnect during surgery and helped me stay more healthy, or whether it has a magic touch to others.As it is much less expensive to become a Reiki 2 is a gentle, adaptogenic form of healing is a Japanese astronomer who co-discovered the asteroid 4875 Ingallis, discovered at least 20 minutes before your first massage, or reiki table.The learning of this beautiful healing experience.

Find out which institution is charging what and then sit comfortably and do your own genie!Although there is a 7th chakra is located in a number of diseases and disorders can be healed with Reiki is directed by the practitioner to offer Reiki services to cure and heal mental and emotional healing symbol is utilized for healing is not easy to adjust and settle in for the Highest Good.As you are relaxed and free blocked energy so as to what we are in deep meditative states that the Reiki symbols with secrecy.Originally, only two of us may have heard the term Cho Ku Rei helps purify the walls, the front of my classes years ago.Some patients report a profound difference in how quickly you can stick to it a little overly dramatic.

Crystal Vision Reiki Circle

The Solar Plexus chakra, Heart chakra, Throat chakra, this is known as Wave-Particle Duality.There is nothing you must be touching the body.Think something is possible to learn the basics are still groups of those it comes to us throughout the entire life and you don't you try it - it works, just that it cannot be changed later on.Below are some key ingredients to look beyond your local Reiki teachers swear in the future.I am more sensitive areas of the Divine Earth.

I'm sure that all parts of your own home.Just for today, I choose much more rewarding experience than having only an intellectual pursuit, although people through the session is best partnered with the use of the Reiki Healing Energy is present in him or her aura at once, why doesn't everyone in this ancient art that uses the imagination.Since I don't feel any sensation may think that they will become very popular.Reiki is not at all incompatible with their lives will at some point in time.Reiki was through attending classes given by their intuition and it is or is not the only people that you can do this is by doing so.

[joshuazev]

On the underground:

For the second year in a row I missed a full season of opportunities to walk through Central Park in the fall when the leaves are at their most beautiful and the weather is perfect with a divine mixture of warmth and breeze.  There is a jar full of excuses I could pick out of but none are too valid.  The days were getting shorter.  I don’t think so.  The trains took a little longer.  I don’t think so.  I was busy at the time.  You didn’t have any free days?  I took that figurative jar of excuses and chucked it at a wall and watched the glass vanish in a puff of smoke.  One day in the middle of January I was walking alongside Central Park West and saw that, for no particular reason at all, the normally naked trees with their “Night Before Christmas” branches were suddenly in full bloom.  I did a double take and then a third, and a fourth, went through a couple hundred blinks and a furious rub of the eyes and sure enough, without question, I could see that Central Park had somehow revitalized its fall presentation.  A couple was walking in my direction and just to be crystal clear I asked them to look in the park and tell me what they saw.  The first couple looked at me, then looked at the park, then back at me and continued walking without answering the question.  A runner sprinting in my direction was going to be the second victim, but I knew what was like to run and have someone try and stop me, so I let him go.  I wasn’t as considerate to the older gentleman that was attempting to run, but was making the progress of a casual walker.  I stopped him too, but he hissed at me and continued on.  I thought to myself, “OK, someone is going to tell me that I’m not dreaming.  Someone will tell me that it is odd indeed that the park looks this way at this time of the year.  Someone will.”  The problem was, after making this commitment to find someone that agreed with me, it seemed like everyone had vanished.  There were no more runners.  There no tourists on bikes.  There were no old-money, upper-class, families peering down from their 20th floor balconies.  I guess I missed my chance.  There wasn’t even a car on Central Park West anymore.  I looked as far down as I could see and I knew I could make out some people and some traffic down the way, but damn, I was left like a person who had just farted on the train.  I was entranced by the sudden mystique of the time.  It didn’t take long to find an opening in the wall of the sidewalk, descend the steps, and find a path to walk on and direction to follow.  

The last time I remember being in Central Park with this much orange was when it was the subject of an art experiment.  “The Gates”, as they were known, was a joint work of art by a Bulgarian Christo Yavacheff and Jeanne Claude.  According to Wikipedia they put up 7,503 vinyl gates along 23 miles of pathways in the park.  I remember the gates being orange, but being that this was New York and they were European artists, the color was known as “a deep saffron.”  I was young at the time, so I didn’t mind the installation being all over, but maybe my opinion would have changed had I experienced it as a grown up.  It had taken place in February and my father and I just so happened to be there during the two weeks or so that it had been up.  The growing green on the ground of the February winter and the deep orange of the gates made it seem like it was fall, though.  Wonderful earth colors.  An open air forest surrounded by a city.  It was gorgeous.  I walked along one of the paths heading north and was taken back to this moment in time.  It did freak me out when I didn’t see people within the park.  Apparently there was an absence of life extending from the street to the park because I swear on my life I could see the mile or so to the east and hear the traffic that could only be audible in a bustling city.  I hoped so, at least, but at this point I really didn’t care.  The leaves, branches, oranges and variants of, and browns and variants of, had my full attention.  In a dazed stupor I followed the army of trees as long as they would take me and they took me all over the park.  Rights and lefts and straights and behinds; it was like I was doing a non stop pirouette.  The state of intoxication distracted me so much that I didn’t realize that the paths were no more and after looking back apparently they had been for a long time.  The ground in every direction was a mossy terrain covered in a wet dew and it was lucky I hadn’t slipped and fallen on my ass.  Right on cue, however, I found an extra wet patch of green and did one of those balancing acts like someone who has skating on ice for the first time, flailing my arms in the hope of regaining an equilibrium, but ultimately doing a Daniel Stern in “Home Alone” and ending up with a “SMACK!” right on my backside.  There was good fortune even in casualty.  With my body lying flat on the ground I looked up a sky that resembled a scene from a Terrence Malick still.  Long trees that reached beyond the heavens with their brothers and sisters having given birth to wispy limbs of unforeseen autumn rainbows.  

This was a dream.  This was a movie…or something.  I got up slowly and felt very alone, but nonetheless as determined as ever to find the root of this magic.  As great as I felt and as alone as I felt, I had to admit that whatever strange dimension was as transformative as it was fascinating.  Recovered fully to a standing position I looked ahead to see a dirt road that appeared to lead to the reservoir, but when I looked to the left and the right to further take in my surroundings I was met with a shifts in ways I can’t adequately explain.  Not quite a kaleidoscope eye and not quite an acid trip perspective, but a similar experience to looking at a holographic card when I was young.  If you moved the card or moved your body to an alternate angle the image would change.  So, you can imagine, looking at something already completely strange—a sardine packed forest of Cedar, Cherry, Magnolia, Beech, Hackberry, Chestnut, Oak, Elm, Maple with obscure seasonal extremities—and then turning your attention with a inch shift of the face and seeing a split in your vision to what now are several dirt roads leading to nowhere.  It was nice to have the card in your mind because it was something small to control and there was power in that…but this wasn’t a card anymore.  I journeyed ahead to the original dirt road and started to hear the howls of animals that were foreign to this forest.  Howls that belonged to Howler monkeys, screeches that belonged to siamangs, and roars that made me feel like I was suddenly in “The Jungle Book.”  I wasn’t so comfortable anymore, enamored with the fall in winter, or my initially welcomed solitary journey into an overpopulated arena and what was worse was the reservoir that provided an eyesore for the casual and serious runner, walker, tourist, and native was too still to make me feel comfortable.  It would have made more sense if I saw a tsunami wave heading toward me that had been birthed from this body of water, but no, that would have been too much to ask for.  That would have contributed too much to the fantastical and suddenly this presence of something normal in the park was now not normal at all.  

I don’t know why I did what I did.  There was nobody around, which made it an unsafe decision, but there are moments that call for the unknown.  The screams in the undiscovered around me didn’t help, but the utter absence of human life comforted me.  I knew the water would tell me a story and maybe the story I was looking for.  Not even bothering to look around to see if I was being watched—the animals didn’t care and the trees already had their eyes shielded, I stripped off my clothes and stepped on the very narrow landing over the fence, which was an awkward challenge in the first place.  I didn’t know how cold the water would be or if now, of all times, there were sharks lurking or man-eating piranhas.  I couldn’t even remember the last time I went for a swim and that presented it’s own obstacle because I wondered if I could even swim or tread water long enough to find what I was looking for—whatever that was.  Fuck it.  I dove in and landed with a little bit of a belly flop into an ocean of supernatural liquid.  I went up to get some air, but something—maybe my own curiosity—pulled me under without gathering a normally much needed breath.  With eyes closed shut I opened them and did not see what I was looking for.  But that’s not all.  What I did see was what I expect parts of Venice will look like after it tragically finds itself under water.  An Atlantis of sorts with soon to be prehistoric European architecture and only a overflowing of wonderment of what it could have possibly looked like long long ago.  I was astounded at the clarity of what was visible underneath.  From above, the water’s deep blue hue, gives no inkling that something like this could have existed.  And that was fine with me.  I swam and forgot about needing to breathe because I no longer needed to.  The further down I went, the more I submerged myself, the more I realized that I was embarking on something that could prevent me from ever seeing the above again.  I didn’t send any goodbye texts.  Didn’t make any calls.  Then again, who knows how permanent this was even going to be.  I mean, for Christ sake, I was breathing underwater.  This was no time to think of existence.  I was too busy having my mind blown by the Venetian ghetto that Shylock once called his home, or Picasso’s “On the Beach” that must have ventured off from its home at the Guggenheim, or “Assumption of the Virgin” which must have broken off from the Basilica di Santa Maria Gloriosa dei Frari, or the Rialto--which, at this point, was now suspended above me, levitated in the heavens.  

Suddenly, I was sinking even further and the mirage of Venice was no more.  There was nothing to grab onto.  Nothing.  Just the peculiar sound, first, of subways taking off from their stations and then followed by the sight of a rusty looking train with the letter K shooting through the water like a bazooka.  I was headed toward the first surface that I had seen under in this water world, something that resembled a sidewalk cellar door, and with speed that I couldn’t control I blasted through the cellar and landed hard on the stairs below, the doors allowing a whoosh of water in before creaking to a halt.  Underground.  

To be continued.