#i swear i'd stfu about them if i could

[manic-sapphic]

~~absolutely love that adora kinda looks insulted when she demands prime let catra go and his response is "i'll give her to you - if you want her.."

i hear the look on her face saying "oooh you mf'er how dare you - ofc i want this btch why else would i be here ?? i want her and only her tbh - (i just don't know it yet but i will def doomslay ur entire flagship if u don't gimme this kitty fr")

- (every time i watch catra hold herself, just tryna keep from falling apart - i fall apart. just a teeny tiny bit. itty bitty shred of my jagged stone heart chips off, but idc tho - she's worth it <3)

( also - the way adora tries to stand but her legs give way beneath her is just another addition to the list of reasons it's all so heart breakingly gut wrenching [yee i combo'd the phrases - it feels warranted fr] cause the fact she can't stand tells the audience she's gotta be in a lot of pain too that is only healed after she suddenly transforms- and she's ignoring that pain, so focused on catra that we don't even see her react to it aside from being unable to stand.. damnit adora <3 )

~~sooo the promise moment really is just - ahhh. gets to me. i read it as this unspoken question that catra knows she doesn't need to explain - she just needs to say one word and knows adora will understand what she's truly asking -

"promise?" - i read this as catra not just asking if adora promises to take her home - but asking for a much deeper, broader hope of reinstating their first promise. to stick together and look out for each other.

a promise that was broken by both of them tbh but at this point catra decided to keep it for what she figured would be her last chance to do so in corridors, and then here in save the cat adora comes back and holds up her side of their promise as well.

after all that time apart as enemies, they each risked their lives and more and fulfilled a promise that seemed long forgotten. and i see catra here as putting forth a desperate, hopeful plea to agree on renewing that promise for good- and not just taking her home, but acknowledging that what home really means is the two of them staying together, no matter what.

and without hesitation, adora replies, "i promise."

she understands what catra's really asking; imo there are so many words that pass between them during and just after save the cat that are never actually said - thank you's and apologies and explanations that they mutually recognize and know the other feels and genuinely means w/o ever needing to make each other say it.

mistakes were made on both sides & they've both realized by then that sticking together was and always had been what they needed to do, cause they were finally starting to admit to themselves that what they both really needed all along, more than anything else, was each other. <3

ps i thought i'd tack on my previous rant about adora choosing to jump down after catra in save the cat cause that moment makes my heart implode every time~

(& cause when she does that - it's her keeping the promise that she had just restored. it's her determined refusal to ever, ever break it again - no matter what. even if it kills her - just like catra in the finale, fighting the monster and refusing to leave when adora tells her to. these lovelies would much rather die w each other than live without the other - and they definitely figure that out the hard way, but the only thing that really matters is that they do figure it out~~)

---jump in save the cat rant---

when adora chooses to jump down after catra, the fact that she is, innately, she-ra is still something adora has almost no clue of whatsoever. her expression lingers in the frame just before she throws herself down after catra, recalling the fixed look of equally determined resolve we see on catra’s own face in corridors when the decision to save glimmer (and, yes, most importantly to catra, save adora by extension) is cemented in her mind; a decision catra makes, mind you, not expecting to survive it. and imo, same goes for adora & this moment in save the cat.

adora chooses to follow catra into the darkness, despite her currently regarding her connection to she-ra as gone and having no expectation of manifesting the nearly invincible power she could rely on from being she-ra in the past (and therefore lacking any way to heal catra, even if she could get them both to safety, there’s no way she’s unaware that catra’s body is pretty much guaranteed to be broken beyond repair after the shock her nervous system got from prime when disabling the chip, coupled with the long fall.)

and to me - the most poignant thing this tells the audience about adora making this choice is that she didn’t leap down after catra because she was clinging to the hope that, somehow, she could still save her.

instead, she willingly fell to depths unknown, the landing completely obscured by shadows that she just watched consume catra, simply because she knew that catra would be down there all on her own, and there was absolutely no fucking way that adora wasn’t going to make damn sure she was there to hold her. even if that meant jumping after her and possibly dying down there together. it just meant that much to adora for catra not to have to face the end alone... i mean, wtf dude, it's jaw-dropping in the best way ever <3

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

https://www.tumblr.com/lavender-butterfly-cookie/772142889166831616/ok-i-got-this-idea-from-the-yn-battle-and-i-can?source=share

This is beautiful, the secret society of y/ns...imagine them all talking about important business and stuff and possibly gushing about cookies they adore together and can imagine how fight started is either the y/ns noticing they are crushing on the same cookie and then fighting over them...or one y/n got greedy and wanted all the cookie's love for themselves and the other y/ns just jumped in, to defend their loves and/or also want all the cookies love to themselves...

For the wanting all the love for themselves: to explain this its sorta like all the cookies fighting over y/n's love...but opposite day lmao!

Alien y/n: I deserve all the cookies love because I can show them all the universe!

Beast y/n: stfu! I'd be the best lover to the cookies because with my powers, I can make every desire of theirs true!

Streamer y/n: out of all of you, I'd be able to game with them best AND entertain them!

Robot y/n: they can literally edit my program to make me their ideal dream, you unadaptive son of a-

Timid and shy y/ns: we....we give them a nice quiet time...

Tarzan y/n: I can show them the wonders of nature and how fun it is to swing tree to tree! I'm the least boring of of all of you!

Baker y/n: stfu all of you...I'm literally the original!

Iseakai'ed y/n: stfu I can tell them stories about the human world and tell them about human tech so they can advance their lives!

Aaaaand already gave you enough to get an idea...surprise prequel to explain how fight breaks out...and to add on how cookies get involved...imagine if cookies had been following timid to the secret society of y/ns to keep an eye on lovers (I say timid because of the comment in the other one about them not keeping secrets so can imagine they are bad at making sure Noone follows em lol!) Aaaaand they all witness the fight break out of y/ns trying to see who is the best lover and the superior y/n lol!

My sheer dread upon forgetting thief Y/N cookie- Fu-

Who's the best?

Thief Y/N: Look, unlike you guys, I know how to steal a cookies heart. They all love me, and why wouldn't they?

Batman Y/N: you're a criminal-

Deadool Y/N: EXACTLY BI-

Lavender: Aye!

Deadpool Y/N: Ugh!!!

Merchant Y/N: Well unlike you guys, they don't need anything from you. Cookies travel from far and wide just to buy my merchandise.

Entity Y/N: That JUNK is practically all you're good for!

Merchant Y/N: You eat cookies, YOU'RE NO BETTER!

Child Ancient Y/N: Well I'm adorable, and lovable, and sweet. I'm the most innocent bundle of joy earthbread has to offer, so clearly they love me most.

Child Beast Y/N: Tch, Yeah right. They all care about me SOOOO much that even when my tears are never ending, they stick by me and try making me feel better.

Beast Y/N: It's pity, kid. I have unimaginable powers and frankly, I bet I could beat half of you, if not all!

Ancient Y/N: Yeah yeah, egotistical chocolate waster! I keep my kingdom safe and when cookies are in despair, it's not you who they seek out. It's me~

Ghost Y/N: Yeah, and how did that work out?! Beast Y/N exists cuz of it. I however, manage to captivate all of them even desite how I jumpscare them! They love me!-

Alien Y/N: Bulls##t! They're just scared you'll haunt them if they try to leave you-

Lavender: Aye! No swearing or it's cookie jar for you!

Alien Y/N: Sorry....

Robot Y/N: Haha sucker!

Shy Y/N: I-if we're being honest, The cookies spend their time with me and timid Y/N more. They care more about our wellbeing than all o-of yours.

Timid Y/N: Yeah, and they never yell at us like they yell at you guys. They're gentle with us-

Cowl Y/N: They're gentle with me too!

Baker: No- that's just Darkened Milk cookie!

Cowl Y/N: Oh flip you! You're just jealous!

Isekai'd Y/N: oooooh-

Baker Y/N: Shut uP, you literally got hit by a truck!

Streamer Y/N: They ain't lyin'-

Isekai'd Y/N: Shut up!

Meme Y/N: Ha! Lmao!

Tarzan Y/N: Shut up, literally nobody likes you!

Meme Y/N: Oh you're just mad cuz you can't bag any cookies!

Tarzan Y/N: Well you got sent to the oven!

Baker Y/N: Actually- how did you get out of there?

Meme Y/N: Lavender can't touch me.

Lavender: You sure about that?

[hopeymchope]

Okay okay, I have a theory for her wearing a diaper: Maybe it's the way Monokuma belittling her. Like "you are as useless as a baby, so take this diaper and stfu".

And yeah!!! THAT is what I want to talk about!! I saw some askers in your blog, as well as you complain about how class has treated Mikan which I agree so much!! But I'd like to point out that the class also shut their eyes to Monomi's abuse just like how they did with Mikan's. Monokuma beat her up and mocked her front of the students whenever he can! But despite everything, Monomi is still caring about the students! At the first time she realised that Monokuma was in the island as well, she went to confront him and when Monokuma brings the Mono - bots, she tries to battle them, even if she failed to do so.

Than later, she continues to fight with Mono - bots to help to students. Like, she is the reason why the students could discover rest of the island, and students either ignore her, or get rude to her. Like why???! She is as much a victim as the other students, if not more!! But of course, what can you expect from the class who ignored Mikan's abuse until she snaps?.. I swear it's like a pattern for them.

Note: This is a direct follow-up to this previous ask.

RE: The diaper, I know it makes sense in-universe, but I was more wanting an explanation for why the DR team put her in a diaper. Are they thinking "Oh, this is something associated with a baby and therefore it is cute"? Because that is absolutely NOT my reaction. I realize this is probably a personal bias/hang-up, but I just... do not react well to seeing a wee child walking around in only a diaper and no other clothes. Especially not when they're indoors, in a business of some kind like a restaurant or museum or whatever. For some reason, my immediate reaction to that scenario is "EW, GROSS." Never am I ever thinking "Oh cute, that kid is just in a diaper." I am instead thinking about the fact that nobody bothered to cloth that human who is only wearing something that helps them wallow in their own waste. And I'm grossed out by that. ........... Maybe I just have issues, but THAT'S where my mind goes when I look at Monomi's design. "Nothin' but a diaper. Just a fucked-up rabbit that's probably ensconced in its own feces."

(Can Monomi not remove the diaper? She obviously didn't wear or need one as Usami. Is it permanently bolted onto her person by Monokuma or something?)

.......................BUT ANYWAAAAY, that's just a side tangent to the greater Monomi issue you've spoken about: The class' treatment of her.

I kind of understand that Class 77-B feels like they don't know if they can trust the weird robot animal (well... it appears to be a robot to them, at the time) that's running around, because who is really controlling it? Wasn't this robot the same one who took us this island without us asking??? Even if it's NOT in league with the one who is demanding a killing game, why should we trust the one that dragged us to a remote island without our permission??

But at the same time... they obviously don't JUST distrust her for that reason. Characters regularly suspect her of being in league with Monokuma, even though it's plainly obvious to everyone that she's being beaten up, tied up, forcibly shut up, AND she never does anything aggressive or mean towards them (despite obviously living among them and speaks directly with them frequently). And she appeared very confused/shocked when Monokuma first showed up and immediately tried to fight him. And SO ON.

I get that they're in a scenario where trust isn't an easy thing to just hand over. I also understand that she's not even really human, and her capacity to "feel" is probably unclear to them... like, is she just *acting* when she shows these emotions? Is that a programmed response? Or what? And ok, she's somehow weirdly able to open up these islands, but how can little robot do that shit against those beasts? And why does it always just lead to more places Monokuma has corrupted, with even more potential murder motives? Etc ec.

But I'm making a ton of excuses for the fact that it feels dumb the way they keep on suspecting her all the way up until she gets Tetris'd to hell and back. I could make additional excuses, even, based on the specific characters who are most hostile to her! But... it just... never feels right to me. There's even lip service paid to how she "even looks like him," which is something that is LITERALLY DONE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM AGAINST USAMI'S WILL, so like, that's an absolutely shit reason to be such a hater. Shut up. :P

Somehow, their treatment of Monomi is simultaneously both more and less logical than how they treat Tsumiki.

[vadersaber]

Exactly!! Unless Pedro knows you personally STFU. Stop assuming his sexuality it is weird. Stop instastalking his family. People who post personally family photos of them make me cringe. Like yes their Instagrams are public but think about it would you want someone sharing photos of your family?

I swear I could not be famous I’d be WAY TO BITCHY.

Agree most people in the Pedro fandom have been so kind. It’s the weirdos who ruin it. I say this as someone who joined the fandom this year but am also old enough to know better (like not speculate or pretend I know Pedro.)

oh same I could NOT be famous, I'd just be so pissed off 😂

well, unfortunately there are weeds in every lovely fandom. at this point the trick is to block/mute whatever makes you feel uncomfortable. that's what I do at least. I don't engage with them. why would I want the rabid and desperate weirdos talking about pedro's location on my timeline?? no thanks

[starry-mist]

"We've got a surveillance team in place." That's great. Will you remember this in a few hours? Will they, even? Why were they so "discreet" as to let Eva near Charlie's laptop when they knew she shouldn't be on it?

And the lapses in judgment just keep coming.

Sarah is not jealous AT ALL. Nope. Not picking up anything.

Such a mess.

Like, how can I not pin this on the whole team?

Every. Single. One. Every one of them fucked up in this episode.

I know they call Eva a libertarian, I see her more as an edgy wannabe anarchist.

And then he gives her his phone too. Forget Sarah, why didn't Jesse burst into the house?

I would like a word with this writer.

I can't decide if he was thinking "I'm so screwed" or "I wonder if Sarah is watching".

I don’t think he was thinking. At least not with his brain.

This is the only slightly disapproving look I can find. I mean, given the circumstances, she could have said something.

Seriously, screenwriter (I think it’s Jennifer Kassabian,) I just wanna talk…

I... have questions. Like, where did the paramedics go? Did she make them abandon the ambulance? And was that before or after she tied Rex to the stretcher? This scene was executed sloppily.

So very sloppily.

I relate to Eva’s description of the fog of depression. It’s been a rough year for me in that regard.

Eva: “According to what your laws allow?”

Me: Oh STFU, you live in a society.

The more they show that cliff, the more confident I become that Rex would have survived it and Charlie wouldn't.

Random, but I’m pretty sure I drove past that cliff when I was in Newfoundland. (Yeah I know it has a lot of cliffs but I swear it looked familiar.)

Poor Charlie. He's definitely not okay. I wish they'd written something deeper about what's wrong with him.

I wholeheartedly agree.

And they all made mistakes. I still don't know where to pin the surveillance failure, there were two people in the van. They should have intervened in two separate instances, one to take the laptop away from Eva and one to intercept the masked guy who also might have strolled right next to the van. Am I to presume that they put cameras inside the house and not outside? Where they suspecting Eva more than they suspected someone would show up to kill her? In both cases, they failed.

All of them. I blame all of them.

But I remember from the first moment this episode came out, reading about how he was in a position of power. And in that scene, to me, he always comes off as... powerless. Lost.

I was one of the ones who made one of those comments and my rationale is face value: white male cop, in position of responsibility for the security of this vulnerable (at least we’re led to think so at the time) woman. Did she initiate? Yes. Should he have stopped it? Yes, absolutely and so should Jesse and Sarah but as previously established, none of them were at their finest in this episode. Now, looking at the situation, was Charlie actually the vulnerable one who was taken advantage of? Absolutely. My face value commentary is just about the surface level power dynamics at play that is the main reason this episode gives me the ick.

In this one we do see Charlie visibly upset. I'd have liked to see the rest of the team more worried about him or even frustrated and not understanding his predicament. I'd have liked friction more than getting a mention in the finale. There was something there worth exploring.

Yes to all of this. But apparently we are expecting too much from this show beyond the surface level stuff they give us. We’re the ones who will always want them to go deeper, and I don’t think the writers necessarily get to or perhaps want to explore that depth as much as we would like. Because at its heart the show is supposed to be about super doggo, and not so much the humans’ feelings. But as s4 and s5 have proven, they can do both. And sometimes they do it well.

Okay I made it through. The rest of the season I can mostly stomach.

Hudson and Rex S04E07 - A Stab in the Dark Web Part B

"We've got a surveillance team in place." That's great. Will you remember this in a few hours? Will they, even? Why were they so "discreet" as to let Eva near Charlie's laptop when they knew she shouldn't be on it?

Sarah is not jealous AT ALL. Nope. Not picking up anything.

"I'm so going to take advantage of this information."

Like, how can I not pin this on the whole team? Joe suggested that Charlie's place was the best place for Eva to be in, when they already thought that they were compromised, which meant that they should have assumed their home addresses were compromised as well. Charlie leaves Eva alone at his house so that Rex can go pee instead of calling either Sarah or Jesse to take him out, which would leave one cop in the van and one guarding Eva, instead of having two in the van (which helps at nothing) and zero in the house. Then we have the house which is supposedly under surveillance by Jesse and Sarah, supposedly watching, but they don't alert Charlie to the fact that Eva touched his laptop. Once Charlie realizes that she's done that, he takes her explanation at face value and doesn't ask Jesse to check his laptop.

The graphic for the disappearing chat messages on the dark web is fun.

I've had some contact with libertarians over the years, more than I'd personally like. All the talk about revolutions and whatnot, and their fondness for the dark web are indeed real. When crypto had first risen, lots of them were salivating at the idea of an unregulated and anonymous form of currency, and even more when they discovered private cryptocurrencies (which supposedly offer an extra layer of anonymity). It's funny, though, that they thought even for a bit that governments and banks would let them do that. Anyway, what I want to say is that Joe wouldn't know how to talk to that person at all. But let's disregard that.

"I can't believe that I left her with a laptop and she opened it! I said no electronics!"

And then he gives her his phone too. Forget Sarah, why didn't Jesse burst into the house?

It's true that the way some drugs are regulated actually hinders some people who could benefit from them, instead of helping. Still, in that moment, Eva is pretty much selling a sob story to Charlie, which isn't even the whole truth since she also needed those drugs for herself, to try to get him on her side.

This is a very appropriate distance.

Sarah looks like she'd fallen asleep and just woke up for the good part. Which would actually make more sense than whatever they were doing in the van with Jesse.

First time I watched this I was like, eh, let the guy kiss someone if it's not Sarah. I hadn't realized he was entering his slut era. Also, yeah, Sarah, they are, this is a very astute observation.

And Jesse is entering his pervert era.

I can't decide if he was thinking "I'm so screwed" or "I wonder if Sarah is watching".

I love that Rex is thoroughly disappointed by that development. Rex was all of us in S4.

And then the ninjas attacked. I'm assuming our surveillance is too busy watching the Charlie Hudson show to see the guy approaching the house?

Dude had knives everywhere. Charlie was lucky he wasn't hit (and I was unlucky).

"I'm having a really bad day. Thank you for letting me get off some steam."

This is the only slightly disapproving look I can find. I mean, given the circumstances, she could have said something.

What a plot twist! She lied and she used you, Charlie. Also, again, where were the rest of you when she was using Charlie's laptop?

More bad news.

I... have questions. Like, where did the paramedics go? Did she make them abandon the ambulance? And was that before or after she tied Rex to the stretcher? This scene was executed sloppily.

Congratulations, you finally figured out why he wouldn't leave Eva's side. I think that played a part in Charlie trusting Eva.

Their brilliant ideas to subdue an angry guard dog is: pet behind the ears, put jazz music... Are you kidding me? At least Jesse thought of food.

I feel like they should have made Mercurius seem more scary and money-hungry or even power-hungry.

In which season?

Sorry, that's just funny. I really don't think he's ever made the first move.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Oh god, he still doesn't get it. Because it was easier for her to manipulate you when you didn't have all the facts!

Bold of you to assume that Charlie would follow, but he's definitely not at his best. This is actually using Rex as Charlie's weakness, unlike the previous episode. Although I don't think Charlie should risk that jump regardless. Also, really, a dog wouldn't have made it? I find that hard to believe, they seem like better jumpers than humans. And have more legs.

Yeah, even at his worst, he will do the right thing.

Oh, yeah, we forgot all the hitmen that might come for her. Whoops.

The more they show that cliff, the more confident I become that Rex would have survived it and Charlie wouldn't.

Angst.

Joe: "There's nothing you or any of us could have done." Except for your jobs, but better?

Poor Charlie. He's definitely not okay. I wish they'd written something deeper about what's wrong with him.

And this is Eva letting Charlie know that she made it and even had time to hack the app to let him know that she's okay.

I like this episode but it always makes me think of what it could have been if it was another show, another production and another network involved.

Once again, I'd like to focus on the fact that after a certain point in the episode where it becomes clear that Charlie's head is not in the game, no one says anything about it. No one pulls him back, no one asks if he's okay or even what the fuck he's doing. I guess they keep all the second-guessing for the last episode of the season. Charlie tried to do his job until the very end but I think the distractions were just too much for him and they're indicative of his state of mind.

And they all made mistakes. I still don't know where to pin the surveillance failure, there were two people in the van. They should have intervened in two separate instances, one to take the laptop away from Eva and one to intercept the masked guy who also might have strolled right next to the van. Am I to presume that they put cameras inside the house and not outside? Where they suspecting Eva more than they suspected someone would show up to kill her? In both cases, they failed.

Again, this less than stellar performance from our characters is a great reason for Adele to show up and say that they need more oversight. But some part of this would have to make it to the reports for that to happen.

I've written thoughts on this episode before. I'd pointed out that Eva notices some sort of kinship and attraction between her and Charlie and she tries to use them to her advantage. Which is why the morality of their kiss is more complex than it seems at first glance. At first glance it might seem like he's the one taking advantage. He's not. Is it still wrong that he let her kiss him, and from the way the scene is shot, for several seconds too? Yes. But I remember from the first moment this episode came out, reading about how he was in a position of power. And in that scene, to me, he always comes off as... powerless. Lost.

I understand the contradictory opinions this episode causes. Personally, I like the episodes where there is an upset. We have too many episodes where everything feels like another day on the job, and it doesn't seem to affect them in either way and the repercussions begin and end in that episode. In this one we do see Charlie visibly upset. I'd have liked to see the rest of the team more worried about him or even frustrated and not understanding his predicament. I'd have liked friction more than getting a mention in the finale. There was something there worth exploring.

I'll say again that it would have been a much better storyline to write something about depression or PTSD for Charlie rather than heartbreak throughout the season. Or a combination. He has been through a lot. Maybe I'm asking again too much of this show and this belongs to fanfictions.

[mulletmitsuya]

Dead people groupchat

Warnings: sano manjiro, swearing

Desc: um basically it's all the people Mikey lost and what they think of the current situation (spoilers until chapter 246)

Shinichiro: IM GONNA BEAT HIS ASS

Shinichiro: WHATS HE DOING NOW ?????

Shinichiro: IF HE KILLS SOMEONE ELSE SO HELP ME GOD

Izana: its kinda funny to watch tbh

Izana: but i guess he's going too far

Izana: and he knew me for 2 seconds idk why he said that to Kaku

Emma: Ken-chinless behaviour

Baji: LMAOOOO STOP

Draken: do you think OG Toman's gonna win?

Draken: i'm pissing myself here

Baji: i think they need to let Angry go beast mode

Emma: i just think we need to accept the fact that some people are gonna be joining us soon

Emma: Takemitchy might literally die

Emma: and idk how my girl Hina will handle that 😭

Shinichiro: i trust this Takemitchy dude. hes been doing good so far right?

Izana: it's his fault Draken died tho

Draken: stfu no it's not

Draken: i'm at peace with my death, and tbh i wouldn't have it any other way. i entrusted my life to Takemitchy so he could save Mikey. he's gonna win

Izana: 😕

Baji: okok enough about Mikey

Baji: can we talk about Hakkai???

Baji: he's so fucking funng to me. every single time something comes out of his mouth i shit myself laughing

Shinichiro: he's such a simp lmao

Baji: 🤨

Baji: weren't you the biggest simp of your generation??

Baji: you would lock eyes with someone and fall in love with them

Shinichiro: i had attachment issues 🙁

Shinichiro: there's nothing wrong with wanting to be loved damn

Izana: please don't cry

Izana: we don't know what to do when you cry

Emma: just hug him, it calms him down

Draken: really??

Draken: i hugged him when he was crying and it just got louder and more intense

Shinichiro: i'm right here guys

Izana: idk what to do when people cry so i just watch them until they get uncomfortable and stop crying

Emma: :/

Emma: you did that to me when i was younger

Emma: but you weren't a psychopath back then so it wasn't as weird

Izana: sorry ig

Izana: although i never said it sorry for orchestrating your death and stuff

Shinichiro: ngl that shit had me heartbroken i wish you guys just gotten along

Shinichiro: i just wanted my little siblings to love each other

Emma: he's crying harder

Baji: Shinichiro stfu you're a grown adult

Shinichiro: i'm not crying

Draken: you're literally weeping

Shinichiro: it's just

Izana: no one asked

Shinichiro: Senju's gonna have to fight Wakasa and Benkei

Shinichiro: i can't fucking take this

Shinichiro: i'm overwhelmed rn

Shinichiro: WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING IN THE KANTOU

Shinichiro: WHERE'S OMI

Draken: i think Waka and Benkei are looking after Mikey

Draken: probably guilty or smth

Draken: i'm annoyed tho

Emma: at what

Draken: Hanma

Draken: i fucking hate that dude jesus fucking christ

Emma: he put me 6 feet under 😔

Baji: jack skeleton lookin ass slenderman bitch ass mf

Draken: i wish I'd killed him tbh

Draken: or Kisaki

Baji: FUCK KISAKI

Baji: HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SUBMITTING ASSIGNMENTS WHAT WAS HE DOING KILLING PEOPLE OMFG

Emma: can't believe a 13 year old took part in my murder 😭

Shinichiro: ...

Shinichiro: kids are nifty little fellas

Shinichiro: they come outta no where

Izana: don't try to justify getting killed by a 12 year old

Izana: that was embarrassing

Emma: yeah Shin you could have dogged why did you turn around so slowly💀

Shinichiro: y'all acting all cool by being mean to me and shit

Shinichiro: when you were deeply affected by my death😕

Shinichiro: you love me

Emma: you're still a pathetic old man 😁

Emma: ily <3

Draken: :/

Emma: he's my brother :(((

Emma: but i love you too Ken :)) <3

Draken: :)

Izana: disgusting

Izana: repulsive

Izana: revolting

Baji: stfu you never experienced love

Izana: 😐

Shinichiro: Keisuke🙁

Baji: sorry

Baji: change of subject

Baji: i think Haru might kill someone

Emma: oh definitely

Izana: no question about it

Shinichiro: c'mon guys give him a little credit he might change

Baji: Haru's fucked up, Takemitchy's gonna have to come up with another genius plan or smth :/

Emma: Senju'll save him

Emma: i wish I'd been friends with Senju

Emma: girlboss

Emma: i want her to beat Mikey's ass

Baji: remember that one time she girlbossed too close to the sun

Draken: while i was in Brahman i wanted to fight her but i didn't wanna live with the embarrassment

Emma: of losing to a girl?

Draken: of losing to someone who's 5 feet

Emma: i'm 4'9

Draken: Emma i was talking about fighting

Emma: :(

Draken: ily

Emma: :)

Shinichiro: ok guys we get it you're capable of being loved you can stop now

Emma: no bitches?? 🤔

Emma: i'm sorry

[chaeryybomb]

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while. 

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki 

word count: 4.5k 

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

[famdommcfanface]

Doctor who thoughts again... This is a long one.

I know the snake guy (can't remember his name, y'know, evil sexy snake guy) was going to be in this episode but I'm still thrilled every time they remind us of that fact

Oh yeah that fucking angel thing. Bullshit. Sorry

Erm they're are angels there that aren't covering their eyes which is very bad. Like... either they're in some kind of dimension where it doesn't matter so why are most of them covering their eyes or big proportions of them are just unable to move. Possibly forever if enough of them have their eyes uncovered.

I love Yaz's period clothing. Obsessed.

They're Indiana Jones-ing I guess. I'd like to think without the colonialism but I'm not sure how

Is that Jericho? Jericho!!!! I love this dude.

Yaz this is theft and destruction of ancient artefacts I'm an archaeologist and Yaz just don't please.

OOD!!!

Ood has a new voice. Hmm. Ah well.

Oh. Her. Forgot about her. Do I want to know?

Exposition time. Thanks.

DYING for Yaz's clothes this episode I mean damn.

Where are these guys getting money from

What is even happening rn I haven't known for weeks now I guess.

YES YAZ I GET IT

It's Spectre! No.

Obsessed with Yaz just murdering people. She didn't even murder him but...

Sexy gay snake guy!! Not sure what he's doing here but I love the period clothing on him.

UNIT!!!!!

If this dude turns out to be a Lethbridge-Stewart... just to say only so many people can be Lethbridge-Stewarts.

Aww!!! Yaz watching the doctor hologram this is adorable they're so in love

I think if Yaz kisses the doctor next episode I'll forgive Chris of everything

That might be an exaggeration but Chris wouldn't you like to find out???

Oh also another exposition time. See, Chris? I nearly got distracted by the gayness! Had there been more gayness I might not have noticed the exposition at all!

I want Dan to be more horrified by the whole dead body thing. Jericho's doing alright but c'mon Dan.

GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY

She can't be a good guy she's got an ood. The relationship seems like it might be a kind of slavery one.

Oh you're defending the time lord directives now are you doctor?

N-space? I don't even really know what that means but oh wait they're in the void aren't they

KARVINISTA! You gay little bitch

Okay but the void was meant to be like... hell. It wasn't just nothing it was basically hell. I know that's weird but it did happen.

Hey Bel! I still don't trust Tigmi!

Karvinista if you hurt Bel I stg...

Ooh. Creepy.

Chris you love people talking exposition out loud to themselves don't you.

Swarm and Azura! I would die for these bitches.

'you are space how we are time' stfu swarm. stfu Chris.

Stfu weird mystery woman who probably isn't the doctor's mother

Okay I'm lost. No idea what's happening. Can we go back to Yaz being gay in period clothing please?

I'm going to have to read the explanation for this afterwards.

Oh she's so cartoonishly evil what is even the point of this. The division is ripe for moral complexity.

Wait what's her name? Yeah her! Fuck what's her name?

Tecteun! Right! Oh god that means I really don't know what's going on.

Sexy snake guy! You don't understand I'm really excited every time this guy is on screen because I thought he was only going to be in one episode

Oh the brigadier is going to show up isn't he. I think the time period could work. Private Lethbridge-Stewart or whatever.

It's like 'huh. TARDIS. Oh well'

Feel like Jennings (or anyone who turns up in the background) is going to be a classic who reference

Sexy snake guy just lived on earth for like ten years and gave away his cover so fucking quickly... Wait what the fuck I swear that's from men in black.

Huh. That was weird.

Grand serpent! That's it! Knew it was something about snakes!

Oh fuck I really don't know what's happening.

Tecteun honey that's so fucking dumb and you now it. Put the doctor next to the machinery you're using to do it so she doesn't stop it what are you doing

I'm not even sure what this argument is but I know it fills me with rage.

Yeah I don't like this. Something about the doctor complaining about the live she lives... she loves her life? There are other complaints to make? That's not the bad thing she did doctor?

Kind of sick of like six plots happening at once. Where is Yaz being gay in period clothing

Okay I never thought Vinder was dead but for a moment I thought we were meant to think Vinder was dead and that was really funny for some reason

Diane! Wish she'd been in the plot or something but hey.

Dan isn't wearing interesting enough clothes. He deserves more interesting clothes

How can this dude speak English. He's like a Tibetan hermit.

I actually don't mind the comedy character but it would be far less jarring if Chris put some comedy in the rest of the series.

Haha map montage! So ridiculously cliché. Kind of love it.

YASMIN KHAN IF YOU ARE DEFACING THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA I STG...

Okay I guess. That's alright.

Karvinista you gay bitch.

Doctor free the ood!!!

Yeah the universe is really full of ood. It's because the ood masks are reusable unlike things like silurians.

Jesus Christ the flux destroyed like 99.999999999% of all galaxies it looks like

Oh god please don't do the thing I predicted.

Ood you're psychic your whole thing is hearing whispering

That doesn't quite look like proper Gallifreyan, idk.

I love sexy snake guy I'll tell you that much.

*my brain* Prentis... Prentice... wasn't he a mole guy? I feel a very bad conspiracy theory brewing...

Want that spike worm to actually look like a snake.

Oh him. I don't even want to know what his deal is at this point.

Yaz stfu this could be important.

Yes it's a fob watch... wait the doctor could get her memories back? I kind of don't like that.

Yeah I don't understand the whole next universe thing. Not sure what's happening. Could Rose come back? If Rose can't come back I don't care about your whole next universe thing.

Also where the fuck is Kate? I was promised Kate!

Oh wait that was good timing.

Osgood? She's dating Richard Osman now y'know. Just a bit of gossip.

Imagine if he just murdered Kate Stewart... how funny would that be idk.

Huh. I'd expect Kate to have a nicer house than that. Either a big town house thing or maybe something in the country.

Osgood!!!!!!!!

Does Karvinista have Gallifreyan on his leg?

Look. I understand that it's 1904. You don't have to tell me every time.

Ooh go on what is it. Oh is it snake guy. I don't even know what this dude wants. I like his office though.

K. Sontarans. Cool.

The doctor spent this whole episode having a conversation.

And swarm and Azura did fuck all! They've kind of been replaced by a different sexy queercoded villain.

Oh god I really don't know what's happening.

Oh well she's dead I guess huh.

Kate had better actually do something next episode.

Daleks. Yeah I guess.

Oh and the house yeah.

[alirhi]

wtf is wrong with me? I'm such a glutton for punishment, I swear. ugh...

Okay. So here's the rundown, since y'all have been lucky enough to not know me when I was still on the worst of this ride:

Since I was 4, all I've wanted out of life was to be a singer. It was all I talked about, all I thought about, for about 25 years. I had other stuff on the side that I wanted almost as badly (mom thought I was fickle, dad understood I wanted it all) but singing was always it; always that one thing that got me through the day, that one dream that kept me from killing myself (or on occasion, was the reason I wanted to kill myself)

12 I had hope. I had range and power, and guys, I could sing. I could do a spot-on impression of Anne Wilson. It was uncanny. Voice was still super fucking girly, but at least I had talent.

By 16 I'd developed asthma. Goodbye range and power. Voice just kept getting weaker and more squeaky and childlike. I'm almost 34 now and I sound like I'm 12. Not me when I was 12. I fucking wish. No, I sound like a little girl.

I clung to the dream for a long time. Drove everyone crazy with it, dragged some friends along in my wake in various "bands" I tried to start that went nowhere... And then in 2015 I auditioned for The Voice. Fucking hell, this story... Okay. So.

I was in GA at the time, so my audition was in Atlanta. Aside from knowing I had to make it past 2 rounds with producers before I could even dream of getting to the blind auditions (aka the whole reason my ugly ass even picked The Voice, a show I have literally never watched), I had no idea what I was walking into until I got there. Not only did I have to audition for a producer who would be staring right at me the whole time, I had to do so in front of 9 other people trying to get in. I was 8th, after 6 amazing gospel singers (hello, it was GA XD) and one tone deaf hack.

I sat there, listening to these beautiful, powerful voices, and watching the producer look bored out of his mind. With each singer infinitely more talented than me that he was just so incredibly unimpressed by, I felt more and more hopeless. Following the hack didn't even help. I almost ran out, but I was too embarrassed to call that much attention to myself.

I got up there when it was my turn, with ten people staring at me, and I sang this song:

You know what didn't dawn on me until it was too late? We were in Atlanta, GA. Fucking everyone was singing gospel, and this dude was bored out of his mind listening to the same shit over and over again all day long. All that registered in my mind was that these people were so much better than me and none of them were good enough for this guy.

So anyway, I got up there, and I sang something different. I sang this, and I watched this guy sit up straight for the first time since we'd walked in. I watched him watching me like a hawk, actually look interested... and my throat closed halfway through the chorus (about 0:50). And when I didn't make another sound and just ran back to my seat, I watched him deflate and beckon the next person.

No one in my group got past the first round. I walked out of there in tears, absolutely fucking hating myself. It would be about two years before I could even tell anyone anything beyond "I didn't make it." I was so mad at myself for the way I psyched myself out and failed.

I'm still on NBC's mailing list for The Voice, so I still get alerts every year when they're starting auditions again. And people pushed me for years to try again, but I don't have the edge I did then. I'm back up north; back in a world of diverse music tastes, where not everyone is a damn gospel singer. Plus, now it's all virtual thanks to covid, so I'm up against the whole fucking country.

As hard as I fought for so long to keep that impossible dream alive, I've fought even harder these past few years to break free of it. Just let it die, mourn it, and move on. I finally got my friends and family to stfu and leave me alone about it.

And I just signed up to audition again. What the actual fuck is wrong with me?!