#i swear ffxiv is like a slap in the face to me

[noxtivagus]

hdkfajsdlkf emet-selch 💀

[dragons-bones]

FFXIV Write Entry #27: One in the Hand

Prompt: sole || Master Post || On AO3

A/N: The sequel to this year's "Levin Deals." :D

--

“Synnove.”

Synnove looked up from her book, brow furrowing as she glanced around. Had someone called her?

“Synnove.”

Oh, yep. That was Aymeric’s voice echoing into the house. And her knight sounded in a tiff.

Amused, she closed her book and reluctantly wiggled her feet out from beneath Ivar, then unwrapped herself from her nest of blankets and pillows. The worst lingering effect of her sustained aethershock from the Final Days, even moons after the fact, was she was always damnably cold, even in summer. But once free, she swung her legs off the couch, shoved her feet into her slippers, and pushed herself upright to shuffle out of the library.

Another clipped call of her name, and Synnove shook her head as she made for the kitchen garden. Ixion must have broken the armistice and begun nibbling on the rows that weren’t set aside for him.

Stepping outside, she closed her eyes for a moment and sighed with delight as the sun beat down on her shoulders. Mmm, warm.

“Synnove.” Oh, last syllable emphasis. Her beau was, indeed, quite irritated.

Synnove opened her eyes. And stared.

There was Aymeric, hands on his hips and wearing his gardening clothes, his brows pulled down into a ferocious scowl. There was Ixion, happily chewing on the late summer tomatoes in one of his designated vegetable rows and making a violent mess of his muzzle.

But there was also…

Aymeric pointed. “What is that?”

“I don’t know!” Synnove said, holding up her hands. “I’ve never seen him before in my life, I swear!”

Next to Ixion, snuffling curiously at the still-growing pumpkins, was a creature that might be mistaken for Rhalgr’s steed’s twin were it not for his colors. Instead of his primary coat color being blue-violet, his was sandy brown; instead of vividly stripes, his were deep ruby, and his mane and tail aglow in orange; instead of a horn of gold and striped purple, his was a molten crag, like looking at the top layer of a moving lava field. And where levin danced across Ixion’s hide, embers flaked off his own.

Ixion gently rapped his horn against his fiery doppelganger’s, and the creature stopped nosing at the green pumpkins and lifted his head. He spotted Synnove and his ears pricked up, and began picking his way carefully around the vegetable garden, then pranced across the grass to where she stood.

Synnove squeaked with delight. Aymeric sighed heavily and muttered something that sounded like, “Bloody two of them, Fury have mercy on my garden.”

The fiery steed came to a halt and reached out his neck with a polite whicker. Synnove squeaked again and held out her hands to him, and cooed as he snuffled at them to familiarize himself with her scent. “Oh, aren’t you just a handsome lad!” she crooned. “And so warm. Wherever did you come from, sweet darling?”

“We’re not keeping him.”

“Hush!”

--

G’raha Tia was wearing an expression similar to the one had the first time he met Estinien, stars literally in his eyes, ears pricked like a unicorn’s, and tail frantically lashing about him and slapping at his ankles and hips. “How,” he breathed.

Aymeric grumbled next to him. “That’s what I’d like to know.”

Synnove, astride her new friend’s back with her arms wrapped around his neck and her face buried in his glowing mane, grunted wordlessly. Said new friend was munching happily on the buds of a stalk of Lominsan sprouts.

Roksana, loafed unhappily on Aymeric’s shoulder, mumbled, A levin unicorn, now a fire unicorn? Where’s the water unicorn for me?

“It’s like looking at one of the illustrations in my favorite book of tales as a boy,” G’raha said, hands clasped in front of him. “Phaeton! The sun’s own fire made manifest!”

“I have never been to Corvos in my life,” Synnove mumbled. She was going to stay here for the rest of her life. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaarm. “Therefore, you can’t blame me for this, my love.”

“I’m blaming you a little,” Aymeric said, snappish and yet still somehow fond all at once as he pet the still-sulking white pearl carbunclet. Synnove grinned into Phaeton’s mane; now she was warm inside, too.

G’raha started hopping from foot to foot, his ears flicking in time with the movement. “There has been some speculation since Ixion began wandering more openly in Gyr Abania that he might be the result of a Mhachi experiment, though personally I would think Allag to be the more likely culprit,” he said. “Such experimentation with fauna is much more within the purview of Allagan aetherochemists rather than Mhachi voidmages, and as Allag had a strong presence in Corvos, the stark similarities between Ixion and Phaeton go from statistically unlikely phenomenon to reasonable coincidence as the products of an Allagan laboratory.”

“G’raha,” Synnove slurred, halfway to a nap with the sun warming her spine and Phaeton warming her face and stomach and everything else, “do you want to pet the pony or not?”

“Please may I pet the pony, oh please oh please oh please.”

She patted Phaeton’s neck, and the fiery unicorn raised his head and swung around to stare at G’raha with eyes like glowing coals. The miqo’te scholar, despite visibly vibrating with his excitement, stepped forward slowly, holding one hand out. Phaeton snorted, but lowered his head to whuffle against his palm.

“This is,” G’raha gushed, “the best day of my life.”

“Know the feeling,” Synnove said. Ixion, still methodically decimating his tomatoes, whickered smugly.

PREVIOUS || NEXT

[casualcatte]

RP Journal: 08/09/2020

Rae-Hann appeared to visit me today; it’s been a short bit since I’ve seen him, so he was welcome, as always. He has a strangely calming presence, the mystel, and I find I can talk to him about most anything. There was something a little disconcerting about his reason for finding me, though.

[ Courtsey cut for length. Are these ever short?! ]

It was just to give me a book, written mostly in Vrandtic, but with some parts on Astromancy that he thought might interest me. “I don’t want it left unattended,” he’d said, “should I find myself here physically. Or, dead.”  That last worried me. Was he in some manner of trouble?  Trouble always seemed to find Rae, no matter where in the worlds he went. I couldn’t help but ask him. 

A secret, he said. I had to keep it a secret. Especially from Frey and Shieda. I owe more loyalty to Rae than the two of them combined, so being Rae’s secret-keeper was of little concern to me. What followed… I won’t even write here. A secret is a secret, after all. And Frey is a clever catte who would be the type to ferret out my journal just to see if I’d written anything. So, no, Frey, if you’re reading this. You’re not going to get it out of me.  If Rae-Hann wanted you to know, he’d have told you.

He reassured me that I wouldn’t have to hunt him down, so that’s a relief. I have no doubt I could do it easily, but I wouldn’t want to. That’s a position I’d prefer to never have to be in. Still, I plan to keep an eye on Rae as much as I can, which means getting business concluded in Kugane and Ishgard so I can go back to the drama hot-bed that is Ul’dah. Gods, why do you keep dragging me back to that place?

Rae also spoke of helping him on some Vrandtic expedition he’ll be going on soon. I told him that he knows how to call for me if needed, so I suspect I’ll be taking a dream journey soon. I’m curious about this underwater trip that requires no swimming, though. How is that even going to work?

I’d have to figure it out later, because almost as if he has a sixth sense that I’m talking to someone else, Edgard Beaumont puts in an appearance. How is it that he knows just when to interrupt a pleasant conversation with the crushing weight of his ego? He was, of course, uniquely Edgard, making inferences about my relationship to Rae-Hann, who is only mentor and friend.

Though, once he heard mentor he couldn’t help but bring up that gods-awful Hunt and how I’d missed four shots. /Ugh./  Why did he even have to hear about it? I swear, I’m never going to live it down til the day I die.  Or he does.  It makes it very tempting to shoot him. 

Edgard was Edgard, all talk and suave and confident assurance that I was enamored with him. However, the shocking thing wasn’t Edgard. It was Rae-Hann. There was a… concern there that I’d never before seen.  Not like he was jealous, but more like my godfather, questioning if Edgard had untoward motives. Color me doubly gob-smacked when it seemed to… I don’t know, subdue Edgard.  He admitted he liked my company.  Admitted that it was all in good will and that he had no intention of trying to seduce me. I’m almost convinced he meant it.

Once Rae left, Edgard almost seemed uncomfortable that he’d made the admissions, like someone had suddenly pulled the mask off his facade and yelled “Ta-da!”  It was...strange to see him so vulnerable, stripped of the veneer that was his cavalier, womanizing attitude. I only managed to tease him about it briefly before he shifted the topic to Edmond. 

He’d apparently seen his brother somewhere recently and they’d made it a point to make up with one another.  I was genuinely glad to hear it; family is such an important thing. It’s a shame to see people take it for granted, they don’t realize how lucky they are. There are some of us in the world that have no family to speak of. He went on to say that Edmond was in some manner of trouble, though he had no specifics on the why or the how. I offered to help, which, of course, Edgard had to make about him and how much I care about him. I swear, he’s such an idiot sometimes.

It didn’t take long for Edgard to recover from whatever blow Rae-Hann had dealt him. He was soon back to his usual antics. He mentioned somewhere along the line that he’d told me his intent wasn’t serious back in Ul’dah, but it’s hard to take Edgard seriously about anything when he’s talking to me. To listen to him tell someone else that his flirtations were empty and that it was just in goodwill and fun… it brought a strange sense of relief. I hadn’t realized it til then, how I was expecting him to try something or suggest something, prepared to haul off and slap him for it whenever it happened. It was nice to let go of that expectation. I felt more relaxed, less guarded. Like I wasn’t walking across a Garlean mine-field.

I started to feel more at ease, like I didn’t have to question every gesture and every turn of phrase for fear that he’d get the wrong idea. The rest of the night passed easily until the Ishgardian decided to go to bed, virtuously alone, but in those moments he seemed almost happy. Content. More than I’d seen him since the day I met him.

When I got back to the Bokairo, there was a mail moogle waiting with a letter for me from Lorrendor Hauland.  I was sorely, sorely tempted to punt that marshmallow lump back to wherever it came from. I’m not even sure what he expected to accomplish by sending it.  An apology on paper from half a world away? Tch.  If you can’t even muster the guts to face me in person about the harm you’ve done, you don’t deserve to be forgiven.

Tristane was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to face in my life. I /watched/ him die, even as I tried to save him. I can still feel the heat of his blood pumping over my hands in time with his heartbeat as I tried to staunch the most vital of his wounds. I can still feel his bloodied hand on my cheek, wiping away my tears as he gasped out that he was glad I was safe. Gods damn you Tristane Alexander, I never wanted to be safe!  I wanted to live or die at your side, as your partner and your love. I wanted us to fight this battle together.  But you left me behind…

(whatever came next was scribbled out in a large block of ink)

I buried him with my own two hands beneath the caelumtree where we first met. There isn’t a thing about home that doesn’t remind me of him and why going home is always so bittersweet for me. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s also why I left…

These feelings are not weapons to be used against me when someone finds them convenient. When someone wants to manipulate me into permitting behavior I would never allow. I never share Tristane’s death lightly and to have it used as a crutch to try get me to accept being treated as anything other than an equal...as anything other than a /friend/... I can’t just /forgive/ that. I would never use that kind of knowledge like that.

Gods, just look at what I know about Edgard and Rae-Hann, the loves they’ve lost.  I would never use that knowledge to try and manipulate them. The very idea makes me sick to my stomach. Their pain, that agony, is a symbol of trust and vulnerability that should be kept sacred and precious. Used only to make them better men and for their own gain, not as a method and means for mine.

I just can’t understand the thinking. Maybe I just don’t get it.

Mentions @yokasaris for Rae-Hann @sola-ffxiv for side-mention of Frey I don’t think any of the other nerds mentioned have Tumblrs (yet)

[alun-ura]

Get to Know Me!

1. Dogs or Cats?

Both? Dogs are adorable but I’m personally a cat person

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities?

N-Neither? Youtube ones I think cause the br ones are gr8, most of them

3. If you could live anywhere where would that be?

This is a hard one cause despite the usual shit president and stuff here where I live, I know I’d miss a lot from this place, especially the food sobs. But I’d go to somewhere with a cool beach. Or somewhere I could smash my face in snow, that’d be nice. And a place with fwiends.

4. Disney or DreamWorks?  

Dreamworks, cause 1) it has my favorite movies and 2) as much as I like some Disney stuff, it’s eh. EH.

5. Favourite childhood TV show?

oof. Tokyo Mew Mew and Sakura Card Captors were my favorite, along with lol Winx Club.

6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020

Oh man, idk. There’s the birbs of prey that I was curious to watch, and Sonic tbh cause I’m glad they listened to change that abomination??? And uhh Venom 2 for all the monster fucker needs.

7. Favorite book you read in 2019?

Ehhhh I didn’t read much this year tbh, save for some Lovecraft juices so I’ll go with that, since I got the Complete fiction I’m all !!!! about it

8. Marvel or DC?

Mmmmmarvel, though I’m not heavily into comic books I really don’t like DC heroes *wheeze* I’d go with DC for villains though eee

9. If you choose Marvel favorite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favourite Justice League member?

Oh man. I think I’d go with Quicksilver for this one, my boy my lad. And DC is a bit wonky cause I really don’t like DC heroes but I’ll go with Flash on this one, ironically. all the quickie lads

10. Night or Day?

Night time cause its when I function bettER

11. Favourite Pokemon?  

Boi that’s a hard one, but think of the goblin-looking ones, or the overly-cute ones, just weird trash babies, gremlins, all my faves. If I had to pick one though I’d go with Mawile, she my baby I always need one when I play

12. Top 5 bands:

Of Monsters and Men

half • alive

Mili

Jack Stauber

Mother Mother

Wanted to slap down Fever Ray too but oh well, and also - mostly - a insane amount of covers cause yeah

13. Top 10 books.

well hell

Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld

Behemoth by Scott Westerfeld

Goliath by Scott Westerfeld

Prince Lestat by Anne Rice

Mechanique: A Tale of the Circus Tresaulti by Genevieve Valentine

Prince of Thorns by Mark Lawrence

King of Thorns by Mark Lawrence

Emperor of Thorns by Mark Lawrence

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

H.P. Lovecraft: The Complete Fiction (cause i cant pick one)

These are either books that I really liked (meaning why i slapped some whole trilogies) and books that really helped me with my engwish tbh, I really wanted to finish reading the Kingkiller chronicles but it was around the time books got insanely expensive where I live so I just stopped reading stuff. aa

14. Top 4 movies

Spirited Away

Big Fish & Begonia

Train to Busan

Your Name

yes i’m a slut for movies that can make me cry

15. America or Europe?

both cause most of my friends are in uggo america but europe man

16. Tumblr or Twitter?

Both? I like twitter a lot but I prefer tumblr for posting stuff.

17. Pro-choice or Pro-life?

Always pro-choice.

18. Favorite YouTuber?

I don’t really watch/follow any YouTuber recently? But the brazilian ones are always so fucking great, I love em.

19. Favorite author ?

Man, that’s hmmmmm. I think I’d go with the ones that were the most chill for me to read, so I’m going with Scott Westerfeld and Lovecraft bby.

20. Tea or Coffee?

Tea, always tea.

21. OTP?

Man I don’t think I’m very FERVENT for ships in any fandom tbh, my favorite relationships are usually platonic ones but if I had to pick one I’d probably go with 2B/9S. Though my heart yearns for all the androids to be shipped with happiness only.

22. Do you play an instrument/sing ?

HA, no. I can only hum but sometimes I sing when swearing or panicking

Tagged by: @pearlescent-scales​ (Thank you!) Tagging: @altanidataq​ @avwalya​ @eruru-ffxiv​​ @lizard-grandma​ @lareine-kira​ @omnihealer​ @rifted-vitale​ @yokasaris​ @holyja​ @loslorien​ @a-friendly-spooky-doot​ @thegildenheart​ @avocado-bruhvado​ @cookiecinnamon​ @vysaldhe​ @impracticalhorns​ @claihn​ @voidsentprinces​  @liott-monar​  @draenei-tales​  @weaveroftruth​ @othard​ @lordofcrowns​ @mischiefandmystics​  (I know this is a OOC one so feel free to ignore it if you don’t feel comfortable in sharing these! Also sorry if you did this already whoops)

[mirroralchemist]

Untitled FFXIV Trash, a side story

Basically a crack sequel to pt.5. But it’s somewhat not crack? I just felt bad I did FIVE angst feels things so this was to lighten myself up. It was a stray shitpost idea that my WoL is so obvious in her feelings for Thancred and sorta oblivious to the others that Scions made bets on how it was gonna turn out.

I ran with it. Literally wrote this in two days so it’s not my best. When is anything ever my best tho? What is best loool

Stepping back into Mor Dhona always felt like a homecoming. Watching as the town goes about its daily business grounded me from where my travels took me. I gave simple nods in greeting as I headed for Seventh Heaven. The employees there gave me a short wave in greeting, having grown accustomed to my comings and goings of their establishment. I opened the door to the entrance of the Rising Stones, essentially home. It had appeared it was one of the lull times. Either people were out missions, or resting before the next duty calls them out. The others still unable to reunite the spirit with the physical and my subsequent journey to the First, it left a hefty role to fill.

It was comforting to see that everyone had filled that role readily.

“Eh? Ami?”

Tataru had noticed me standing at the entry. I made my way towards her, a small smile on my face. It had felt entirely too long since I had last saw her. Whenever I did have to travel back to The Source, it was never within the vicinity. The Lalafell scanned me up and down. Without a doubt, she was checking up on me.

“You’re finished with the business over there in the First? It didn’t seem terribly long since you left.” she asked.

She was kept somewhat abreast of the world I got summoned to, thanks to Feo Ul.

“Rifts are peculiar. It felt like I’ve been there longer. Anyway, I wouldn’t say finished but we reached a standing point so it was suggested I come back and report.”

“There’s a certain change about you from last we spoke.” she admitted, “But we can discuss the particulars later. I’ll get Krile and you can tell us everything.”

“You mind-,” I began, “you mind if we get some of your tea blend brewing. I miss it.”

She gave me the brightest smile.

“Of course Ami, of course.”

It only took a short while to summon Krile and with three cups of tea we secluded ourselves to one of the tables to talk. Mostly to recount my tales of dispersing the primordial Light from Norvrandt. I didn’t go too deep into the others personal growth along the way, just enough to satisfy that they too were safe given the circumstances. I could feel the relief as I gave this news. With the report now over  it brought us back to the main issue at hand, getting the others back into their bodies. Krile sat thinking of all that was spoken. Soon she jumped off the chair and walked to the chambers where the Scions’ bodies remained in slumber.

“I suppose now is a time as any to check if there’s been any changes. You’ve given me a lot to process Ami, maybe I can take this knowledge for something.”

She closed the door and started to get to work, leaving Tataru and I. I stared at the door for a moment before focusing back on the tea in front of me. If I took any sort of lesson from all of this, it was to look at the present sometimes. There was nothing I can do but to wait. My eyes widened, suddenly remembering the package.

“Oh! Y’shtola wanted me to deliver this to you Tataru.”

I passed the pouch and sealed missive to her. She seemed surprised at the gesture but then grinned once she read the parchment. She gave me the strangest look.

“Well I’ll be damned.” she spoke in an awed whisper.

I tilted my head in confusion. Soon turning into a blush as she really looked at me. Scanning me up and down once again. I knew the last time we had met my hair was shorter, but it wasn’t a reason for her to look at me so intently.

Right?

“It seems I have a lot of collecting to do soon! Okay everyone, it’s over!” she shouted, “One won, plus a bonus of physical.”

I watched in utter confusion as the scions that were left went to our table and deposited gil into the pouch. With each one, they looked at me with a look of understanding and joy? I even received a few celebratory pats on the shoulder. It was a fast transaction; which I had expected no less from the woman who handles all our finances. But I still utterly confused.

“Um, Tataru?��

“Yees Ami?”

“Would you explain what that was?”

Tataru blinked. I blinked. She jumped back a bit in surprise. I was still confused.

“Oh, you had no clue. Of course you wouldn’t.” she mumbled, “If you did then this wouldn’t have happened. Oh dear. Promise you won’t be cross?”

“I cannot promise that, but I can at least not instinctively react until you explain.” I answered.

She twiddled her fingers before flashing me a cute smile, already a flag I probably was not going to like what I was about to hear.

“Humorous situation really. But we may hap bet on who it was you got romantically involved with?”

Wait.

I was still for a moment. My mind understanding the words she had spoken. I blinked slowly. Oh...oh. That told a lot really. I snapped my head up at her, full blush all over my bare skin.

“What! You bet on my personal life?”

“Don’t get cross!” she suddenly said, “I swear it was a jest at first! It was after we moved here, you retired early. Granted given how much you helped with the moving efforts. The rest of us had a small housewarming celebration. Few drinks and it boiled down to admiration of all you do. I swear you can never ever doubt how much you mean to people here.

Anyway! Talk passed around about how we never see you just enjoying yourself. It’s training this or duty that. Gods Ami, you’re an appealing young lass, you can afford to enjoy yourself. More drinks and we came upon a realization that you are not has hidden with your emotions as you seem. If we were honest even sober we can see how your eyes wandered to one in particular. It was quite the open secret that the gaze you held was amorous in nature. Except for the man himself, the daft fool. One would assume with how much he is seen with women he would know when one is-”

“Tataru, you’re deflecting.” I pointed out, sighing.

“Oh! Apologies. As I was saying, we had jest how long it would take for you to confess. Then someone asked to put gil down for it and that is how it started. Given how long it’s been since then we had quite a few takers and surprises when other players appeared. Once all of this calmed down I might take a trip back to Ishgard. Some of the residents there were quite adamant on Ser Aymeric. I had never seen a man so open in his affection for you and you just unknowingly dismissed them.”

I opened my mouth to say something. But soon closed it. I was unsure to feel insulted that my personal life seen in such a way or touched that they cared about me that much. I buried my head in my hands. For now, I just needed a moment to absorb all this.

“Ami, you’re okay?”

“A moment.” I responded, “It’s not exactly easy to get over the fact that everyone knew I had held such feelings for Thancred. For years.”

“More than that given those marks on the back of your neck.”

I slapped the back of my neck, wincing at the still tender spot. It had only been a few days since that night, places still sore marks are apparently still visible. On a related note, that means that at the very least, Y’shtola knew. I felt a small hand on my free hand. It certainly wasn’t how I wanted for this to pan out. I had deep inside knew that it would eventually be known, I hadn’t expected this soon.

“Who is the one who won?” I asked.

At that her face fell.

“...She didn’t put anything monetary down, but Minfilia always had a feeling it would happen. She desired for those two close in her life to find happiness. Just a passing coincidence if it happened with each other.”

I softly smiled at that. Minfilia, ever the optimist even when gone. I let out a small laugh which grew until small tears prickled at my eyes. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t be fully mad when they did not mean anything malicious by it. They truly were concerned for my being. I can deal with the inherent embarrassment with such an earnest concern.

“It’s only right that we take these earnings towards our coffers. Minfilia would want us to flourish with our eternal mission right?”

“Exactly.” she agreed.

We enjoyed our tea in mutual silence again.

“My ever inquisitive mind would like to know, was it all you imagined?”

I spat out my tea.

“Tataru!” I whined.

She laughed at my embarrassment. The Lalafell has quite a devious streak on her. But it was what I found endearing on her. I could talk to her as an equal, even indulge in idle gossip. As I wiped the spilled drink from the table, I felt my skin go hot again. The memories still fairly fresh on me.

“I-I” I stammered, “I don’t exactly have any other experience to base it off of. But it was fine. He was patient. I have no clue what exactly you want me to say to that?”

“More than that for sure.”

“You are a handful Tataru. I suppose that’s what endeared me to you. I’ll be staying for a little while, so maybe just maybe I’ll share more.”

[djgamek1ng]

PLD LEVEL 80 STORY RAGE [FFXIV] RANT

So it has been a while since ShB came out. I’ve gotten all my tanks to level 80, did all of the job quests and oh boy I have some stuff to talk about. Since this is a rant post as you can see by the title, I’m just gonna put this out there: I’m gonna be swearing in this post. I’m probably gonna be swearing a lot. If you don’t like that or don’t like anger/negativity in general, you should probably skip this post (aka, don’t click “Read more”) even though I will be raising some more legitimate criticisms and how to improve one of the tank’s stories... no shuddup, the title totally doesn’t give it away.

Also, on another note, I will be posting my impressions of each of the tanks later. Hopefully somewhere this weekend, but no promises. I have a lot to talk about and I wanna cover it well.

Also also, spoiler warning. I will probably spoil some stuff though I will try to be vague about it.

Okay, let’s start with some positivity first. Some happiness if you will and so we shall start with what in my opinion is undoubtably the best level 80 story of the tanks: Dark Knight. All of the 80 job quests are really short, but still give a decent story. I hope next expac we do get a bit more, even if they decide to just go with the one job quest route again.

Anyway, DRK’s level 80 story quest... holy fuck. I was not prepared. This only re-affirms it for me: the DRK story has no right to be only just a job quest story. It honestly feels like it should be part of the MSQ. So TL;DR for this quest: you go to Sidurgu to check in on him and Rielle. Sidurgu hands you a letter from an unknown sender. You go to find out who the letter is from through a slightly long fetch quest, though you do get to re-meet people from the DRK quest of the previous expacs. Eventually you come by the person who send it, the person that ridiculed you for ruining the wares he asked you to return to him. He feels sorry about it and wanted to thank you (which is what the letter was about btw) and tells you the story of how life went for him after that (not well until recently). He hands you a flower to give to someone, though it is more suiting for a funeral or a farewell. You go off to be brooding and there appears your darkside. You exchange some words with them and then return back to Sidurgu. This honestly felt really powerful and in fact, was the second time I had to wipe away a tear or two from my face this expansion. I have done it no justice and I implore you to at least look it up on YouTube, but preferably you do it yourself. Even though it was just 1 pretty short quest, this was hands down the best tank job story this expac. Even the entirety of the GNB story doesn’t come close.

Onwards to second place: WAR. The WAR story this time around was pretty nice. Not as deep or feeling provoking, but just... nice.

TL;DR: Curious Gorge can’t take it anymore and wants to know if Dorgono (the female Auri WAR from the SB story) loves him the same way he does with her. He wants to travel to the Far East. Coincidentally, Dorgono and her dad come to Eorzea. Drogono’s dad, Luvsan, wants to repay us for helping Dorgono control her inner beast. He repays us by making a medicine (which is a placebo) which allows Broken Mountain to train as a WAR once more. Afterwards, Luvsan returns to the Azim Steppe but leaves Dorgono behind to train more (and fall in love, which was his first intent in Eorzea to begin with). Oh and Curious Gorge freaks out and thinks that the WoL and Dorgono are in love with each other because they smiled at each other. Dorgono knocks some sense into him, since she isn’t in love with us but someone else (no points if you guess right).

And that was WAR’s story. Simple, funny, effective and heartwarming. I actually really liked it and it was my favorite tank job story before I leveled DRK. Overal, pretty good! GNB. Well, probably the 2nd weakest tank job story but even then, this is honestly pretty good. I will only summarize the 80 story to the others. TL;DR: after having trained under the last Gunbreaker out there, Radovan, and having saved the First, you return to him. You tell him your story, especially about another Gunbreaker being out there named Thancred. He’s confused since he doesn’t know Thancred and he didn’t train him. You go on a fetch quest on a trail for someone that looks a lot like Radovan and uses the same kind of weapon. It turns out, Radovan isn’t the last Gunbreaker out there as others of his home place have survived and the trail we picked up was of Rostik, another Gunbreaker. After it, you return back to Mor Dhona and are happy to know that the art of Gunbreaking isn’t about to be lost. Again, like the DRK story, I didn’t do it much justice and with the context of the 60-70 GNB quests it becomes a lot more interesting. Still very nice. I would personally say it is a bit weaker than WAR, but that is because I have grown to care about the people in the WAR quest for longer. PLD... UGH. TL;D-FUCKING-R; You go to Jenlyns. Jenlyns is worried about Mylla, the head of the gladiator guild. You got to Mylla. She is worried about Aldis, the wandering bum. Speaking of him, he walks inside the gladiators guild to show of his samurai skills. He challenges you to a duel. You get ready to fight and he sees how much strong you have become. You say it is because of you have things to protect. The duel ends with Aldis giving up before it began. You and Mylla go back to the gladiator guild. Aldis steps in and asks if he can stay. Mylla goes all tsundere (ugh) and allows him to stay. You fuck off and do literally anything else.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHY. THERE WAS ONE REALLY COOL THING. ALDIS SEEING HOW STRONG YOU GOT BY SEEING AN AURA AROUND YOU. THIS HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO. FUCK THAT, WE NEED TO HAVE THIS ROMANCE PLOT BETWEEN TWO CHARACTERS OF THE FUCKING GLADIATOR STORYLINE. YEAH, THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER. NO NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW THE PLD POWERS ARE EVEN A THING OUTSIDE OF TRAINING (WHICH LITERALLY EVERY FUCKING JOB HAS TO DO BTW), NO NEED TO SHOW US THAT WE SAVE PEOPLE AND DO ALL THIS KNIGHTLY/PALADINY SHIT OUTSIDE OF THE GODDAMN MSQ. NOOOOOOOO, THAT WOULD MAKE FOR AN ACTUAL GOOD FUCKING STORY LINE INSTEAD OF THIS BULLSHIT. GOD FUCKING DAMMIIIIIIT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *insert static screen here* sigh As you can no doubt tell by everything that I just typed, I am slightly upset at the PLD story. It had one really neat thing going for it, something that could make it feel more like a Paladin/Knight story (need I remind you, in JP PLD is called Knight). Instead however, anything interesting gets brushed aside because “well, the MSQ covers it already. Nevermind that the fucking WAR, DRK and GNB stories do show us protecting stuff in their respective quests”. Hell, wanna know the biggest slap in the face? We got a really good PLD story. It just wasn’t part of the PLD story. Instead it was inside of the tank role quests where we got to see more of Branden (the PLD inside the Warriors of Darkness group) and his past. It was amazing and honestly heartbreaking, since it didn’t have a great ending for Branden but he still did what he had to do. The biggest problem for me since SB is that the PLD story has just become a continuation of the Gladiator storyline and I’m happy for the people that really like Aldis and Mylla, but I’m so fucking bored of those two. At least with Curious Gorge and Dorgono you know that the two are actually in love with each other and that they will finally be able to be together, even if for now it is only to train together. With Mylla and Aldis... Aldis just does not give off that he has any interest in Mylla while Mylla is obviously in love with him but doesn’t want to admit it since “oooh, let’s have a tsundere character”. SERIOUSLY. DO ANYTHING WITH THEM. Aldis comes to the conclusion to ask if he can stay with the gladiator’s guild because of us admitting that we have something to protect now (WHICH BTW, IT ISN’T STATED EXPLICITLY WHAT WE HAVE TO PROTECT NOW AND HAS TO BE GAINED OUT OF THE FUCKING MSQ) and that is why we became that strong. Okay, so how would I rank them? DRK >>> WAR => GNB (WAR overal was better, but GNB is pretty close to it) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> PLD. 

Now, since I don’t want to be only negative, how about some ways to improve the PLD story? Honestly, it is very simple: make it similar to the DRK one, only with a brighter, more optimistic tone compared to the DRK’s more somber and pessimistic tone. Think of Superman and Batman: one is about needing to save the world while being a beacon of hope for the world, the other is about dragging the world back from the brink and being pessimistic/realistic about everything. An example: let’s say someone important to the job story dies in a battle. The PLD would mourn them, but still continue to fight the good fight and rally their (potentially) allies. The DRK would mourn them and instead go fucking nuts on whoever killed their ally. Either would be able to go for vengeance, but it wouldn’t be on the PLD’s to-do list while it becomes the only thing on the DRK’s to-do list.

That’s just my idea on it though. Could obviously be better written than I could ever do, but it would work honestly. Anyway, I think I’ll wrap it up here. I’m glad that 3 out of the 4 tank stories was good, but I’m really pissed of at that 1 out of the 4 that isn’t good. Thank you for reading. Sorry for the swearing, but I had to get it off my chest.

[svgarzaddy]

#11- A’diona

hewwo it’s been so long!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve been on break since like.... a long periodically time ago but i couldnt find d motivation to pick up d pencil but I FINALLY DID IT!!!! im kinda proud of me heh

anyways i’ve been playin ffxiv on d ps4 for the longest time n just made a new character named a’diona tyanu (i added the ‘ bc all miqotes have dat shit in their names KSKSKSSK i just wanna b extra uwu) N HERES HOW MY BABY LOOKS!!!! 

SHE ISNT MY MAIN BUT I LOVE HER!!!! ((i should also get 2 drawin my main qirlie anya soon hehe)) i plan to make her a crackhead LMFAOOO. not a druggie but she acts like she got 2 braincells all the time (which i intend to name cai and llou)

BUT YE thats the reference i used to draw her!! so here she is!! i tried rlly hard I SWEAR tbh one of the few reasons why i play this game is bc i can develops ocs thru it!!

GOSH i know i still cant draw lips or eyes OR a face shape BUT I SWEAR IM TRYIN!!!!!! its so difficult to get clean lines too... ONCE I GET GOOD IN DRAWIN ITLL BE OVER FOR YALL BITCHES!!!! 

but ye i feel like this will be one of those drawings i’ll never finish! i have the starfire n hercules one left undone, and i deleted the heathers piece (post #8) bc i rlly disliked it!! so thats how it’s been lately lol. i wanna try more stylised n cartoony art like mark dizon or mochipanko or cutiepatoodieart cos WOW i love those kinds of art so so much!!! but we’ll see how it goes ig! also rlly wanna try out watercolour bc dat shit SLAPS

imma go now bc it’s LATE n i wanna schleep .

[onidephor]

...

How could this have happened?

When a group of Imperial Shadows sneaked onto an unmarked ship, the stage had already been set for disaster. The Tribune, Lysander sas Theius, had been recently injured by an unknown woman. Gunshot through the head, and through his innovations, his support from mutants he had made, he survived. He survived enough to board the ship intending to deliver cargo back to Solus, organize private transport, and transfer one of his prized units to an unknown officer. The other remained at Solus waiting for his return.

I didn't get there in time.

The cargo ship crashed in the rolling fields below the Sea of Clouds, in the rocky plateau that tore the transport ship to shreds on its spines. The skeleton crew that had traveled with the ship, if they weren't murdered, now lay across the field in no better shape than the ship. Body parts and blood scattered over the stone and the fallen.

They had bound him, frozen him to the ship, and held him down until the last moment. The impact shattered the ice. Being near to the cockpit, the nose of the ship crushed inward, and everything behind it.

Among all the wreckage pushed out a bloody hand, thin yet elegant, duskwight skin, to grip the nearest object. The hand slapped metal with a bloody splat, smearing when the fingers closed. Another hand followed, but could not get the wreckage free. Trembling, the hand opened up and pointed a finger skyward, turning the wrist over. Water flooded the crashed belly of the ship and pushed the machines up and away. They tumbled aside with loud bangs and sparking electronics. Unit 305 gasped for clean air in the smoke, coughing up a blue-tinted blood from crushed ribs. He set his head down to try and process all that happened. He remained that way only for 15 minutes, but it felt like he slipped into a sleep. He stirred with another cough.

His water remained spilled out of two devices in his back, near his shoulders. One of the turbines sounded damaged. The fan blade of a propeller had broken off and become lodged. It hindered that side from managing the water flow with the precision he was used to. They flowed out a viscous water that rested around him like broken wings.

"Father", he grunted to get himself pushed up. His right arm crumbled. Broken. He hit the paneling with a sharp pain electrocuting him. In his frustration, he drew his other hand across the air and summoned up a blade of wind to carve the broken appendage off. He reached over and tossed it aside while the bleeding stub began to bubble with water. He got himself to his feet after that and staggered. His missing arm would take a moment to rebuild, giving him enough time to take in the sight.

Fire. Carnage. Smoke. Sparks. The sky had dulled against the gray. It left a unit who had seen war awestruck. It was then that he realized, if he was here, Theius had to be under the same paneling. Theius had taken one of 305's crystals and kept it on his person for emergencies. If the crystal became wet, the unit could use it to travel. Thankfully, someone had attempted to drown the man while the crystal sat in the pocket of his mouth. It meant the subject had teleported inside of the man, and if he stood now free, that meant the frozen body had...

"Father! Father!" the elezen screamed. He turned to dig down and throw metal aside using the one good arm and one water pillar that held its form. He was finding pieces of other soldiers. There was blood and soot making a black paste over everything. He threw pieces aside until he found a familiar body, shattered into three major chunks. The upper body with one arm still attached, a fissure severing the other from the flank, and the final a broken line across the back. Purple fluids drenched the area. The subject had barely reformed his arm and he was trying to check vitals in the broken body. The bloody fingers found nothing. "I", he whispered. "No this can't- ... help!" He stood up and shouted into the wreckage. "Did anyone survive!? Anyone! I need a medic! I can't heal! I can't heal!" he screamed with no answer. He hesitantly ran away from the site trying to find anyone, but no one made it but him. His eye scanned everything, and found nothing. He didn't make it far from the body, turning back to be at the body's side. "This can't be. You haven't fixed me yet! You have to fix me!! I need to heal you!"

He held a shaking hand over the corpse. If he cast any magic, it would drain the aether left from the body rather than add to it. His healing energy never flowed in the right direction. He could only take into himself, as a disposal, and kill. His instincts to clean the gore up were stronger than anything else right now save for his want to fix this body. "Please, move. Get up. Do anything. Signal", he begged. "Please."

There was no answer.

305 turned over his hand to look at it in silent question of why it couldn't heal. He hated his hands in that moment. Their image swirled when tears welled up in the way of his vision. He failed. That's all he could think. He failed to save the Tribune. He failed to be fixed. He could only destroy. The elezen placed that hand now on the shoulder of the body so he could dip his head low and sob as loudly as this now private ground zero would permit.

He wept. He wept for a long time. All the work needing to be yet done, all of the intentions, lost. His pooling tears made only a small few drops next to the leviathan of water that spilled out of his augmented back. It gave him something to stare at for the time being, watching them mix with blood and dirt from the Tribune's robes. "Is this all I can do for you?" he asked. He reached down to turn the body over to see the face, just so he could see how mangled the Shadows had made it, fuel for his vengeance. He also wished to harvest any cores of brethren the Tribune had used on himself. It was turning the man over that shocked him.

Freshly implanted with stitches still in place was a false eye where the man had lost his own to a bullet. The design caught 305's attention because of its familiarity. Gently, a finger lifted Theius' lid to see it better. Black, glossy glass with a still reactive shutter of a mechanical device. The artificial pupil expanded and analyzed the elezen reflected in its surface. Without thinking, all 305 could utter on a hush was, "My other eye." He came to a moment later when he realized what he said. He touched at his own false eye as a reaction. "What am I saying", he mouthed.

He jolted.

"A-.. A data node! It's the same model! Father! Father, answer me!" he rushed to say speaking to the eye now. "I'm here! I need orders! What do I do!?" Though, he got no answer. The node reacted and continued to read visuals, but nothing more. 305 leaned back trying to think. His eyes darted back and forth while his mind raced. What could he do now? "There's nothing I can do. I'm just an executioner, Father", he whined. He would stare for a long time. His wandering eyes found no answer.

His brow furrowed after a moment and his eyes settled on the mechanical eye again. The Evolution Project was all about this man's vision of combining elements from units, creatures, humans, anything. 305 looked now at his commander wearing an eye made for units, sending signals like one. He reached forward to pick up the top half of the corpse and flip it onto its back. The spine made it difficult, but enough force turned the body over. The subject looked at his commander and spoke, "I have to believe your theory will work." He reared back a hand to pierce the socket and retrieve the false eye from the body's skull. His slender hand pushed flesh out of the way to pry out the eye. "I have to believe you are in here. I can save you, if you are", he said getting more determined, and more fearful. The moment the eye left the socket, the water that spilled all over lifted off the ground in a span. The blades of wind organized themselves into rows of deadly beauty. The side with the broken turbine shuddered and faltered occasionally as the water tried to maintain its crystalline clear state.

Most of all, the elezen seemed beyond hurt with what he was considering, but given what he was intending to do, he hated himself for event thinking it, but it could work. It could work. With the false eye gripped in hand, the water he commanded carefully collected the mangled flesh. There was another node yet to collect from the body, but the elezen would find it sooner or later, because he intended to go through every part when he disposed of the body. Not discarding it, no. Doing the one job Father promised to take from him, taking the aether from the fallen into one’s self and using it, the cannibal unit ate. 305 rarely, if ever, consumed using his mouth. He always allowed his water to cleanly dissolve the bodies out of sight and deliver the aether to him. In the privacy of this open field among the rocks and sky, he knelt down with the blanket of water to canopy over them both, and he took the flesh that remained of his commander. The subjects of the Colossus Project believed disposals were foul things, grim reapers, and symbols of death. However, there was an equally strong belief that to be eaten by one was to continue living within them. They were death and the governors of souls.

It’s not over, Father. You have too much to do. I promise to mend you. I swear on it!

After feeding on the entirety of the remains, the bloody handed and red-mouthed subject opened his mouth one more time, shark-like, jagged teeth accepting the false eye he gripped the entire time. Without doing more than setting the device on his tongue with extreme care...

He swallowed.

(Thank you @fustuarium @winterdeepelegy @aegir-ffxiv @aracelicaillen ! )

[amememightywarrior]

[fanfic] The Echo, chapter 1

The Echo Chapter 1 Fandom: FFXIV Synopsis: What do you do when your only champion crumbles to pieces because of all she’s been through? Invent time travel, apparently. But how easy is it to put a broken woman back together again if no one has invented tape? Story tags: fem!WoL, OC (billions of them), AU, Time Travel, Ishgard (everywhere), dragons Rating: probably NC-17. Trigger Warnings: None in this chapter, I think? But definitely swearing. Or if you’re triggered by minor errors in lore, there are definitely some of those, probably. Author Notes: You already know where this is going. Or do you?

He had warned me there would be complications. I'd told Him to hush, I knew what I was doing—well, more than the first go around—so there was less of a chance of me fucking everything up than before.

He had said it was foolish to risk everything for the chance to fix one thing, and yet this one thing I wished to fix needed to be fixed to save...

Save what?

This must be one of the complications he had warned me about.

It was going to be pretty hard to fix anything if I couldn't remember what I was trying to do. I just had to...I just...

Who am I again...?

~*~

~*~

«Our covenant yet remains, champion of Hydaelyn.»

The effort it took to open one eye was monumental. The large, mirror-like eyes of a dragon pup greeted me upon success. The pup's tiny triangular snout dipped and its long, fin-like ears flicked as it inspected my face. Then it blew purple fire at me.

“Gah!” I said, jerking my head sideways. Both my eyes popped open, the ice encrusting them melting away under the fiery onslaught. “What the?! What was that for?”

«Rise, mortal, ere thou joineth the dead in these frozen wastelands.»

I sat up, dislodging the pup. “I'm in a snowdrift,” I said. “Why...?” I squinted at the pup, who perched on my knee and looked expectant. I knew this little guy and that deep, menacingly slow-paced voice talking to me. “Mid...Midgardsormr...?” Wind whistled in my ears. The very air was ice. It hurt to breathe. The dragon pup, Midgardsormr, crawled up my arm to sit on my shoulder. “What happened?” I asked.

«A choice hath been made and the price paid,» replied Midgardsormr. «Thou lieth within the embrace of Abalathia's Spine, betwixt two sides of a war once quelled but now rageth as before.»

I looked down at myself. My clothes weren't exactly winter-worthy, but I wouldn't freeze in the next two minutes either. Abalathia's Spine sounded familiar. I wanted to say...Coerthas? “What price?”

«Knowest thou of thy choice?» Midgardsormr asked. He sounded almost perturbed.

I stood and tried to find a landmark. There was a strange sort of castle in the distance that appeared to be mostly unattached to the rest of the world. The rest was mountains and snow. “I don't remember,” I said. “I don't...I know who you are but I can't remember my name.”

Midgardsormr was silent. I needed to avoid death by deep freeze, so I started walking along the lowest part of the terrain. A weight clanking on my back prompted me to look back. Ah, my axe. That was also familiar to me, much like my scaly companion.

«This life thou hast lived ere our arrival here,» Midgardsormr said at last. «Events long past led to a break in thy soul, and though thy strength carried this star for a time, the break soon split thy soul in two. To save the world, we must save the soul that split. The choice thus made, we traveled to the time before the injury was done and came to rest here.»

I stopped. “Wait a second,” I said. “You're telling me my soul split in two because of something and we went into the past to fix it? That's crazy! And you went along with this idea?”

«Thy strength is beyond comprehension, champion of Hydaelyn,» replied the pup, «yet like a diamond wont to shatter when struck upon the correct point, thy heart was pierced and the damage left to fester.»

“I don't see how that justifies the two of us going back in time,” I said. “You shouldn't mess with time. Bad things happen.”

«Thy reluctance is familiar,» Midgardsormr said. «This was the last resort. Know that I would not have allowed it if it were not all we had left.» He flicked his tail against my shoulder and stretched his neck out to point off to the right. «This way, mortal. The sons of Ishgard know not thy face, for thy deeds were erased upon our coming. Tread carefully, and do not make conversation with me around others.»

I kind of remembered that bit about our relationship. He was invisible...imperceptible? to everyone else. I vaguely recalled he could show himself if he wanted, but the details of how I came to know this escaped me. It did assure me that I was not, in fact, crazy enough to hallucinate baby dragons talking in bass voices. “What exactly split my soul? Since I need to prevent that to justify this little trip into history.”

«What destroyed it then will not now,» he said.

I rolled my eyes, exasperated, and started toiling towards civilization again. “So the world's saved already? Yay!”

«Thy flippancy is ill-advised. A powerful bond forged was destroyed in moments.»

I frowned. “So...someone close to me died...and that broke me?”

«As a wyrm breathes as one with their consort, so did thee with thine. With it, an inextinguishable light shone. Yet with the destruction of the bond, the light darkened with bitterness.»

“And if I don't ever have this bond in the first place?”

«Two shall ever be greater than one. That strength is needed, champion. Alone, the balance tips towards Darkness slowly but surely.»

Oh man, this was rich. “Saved by the power of love,” I said. “Come on, Midgardsormr. This isn't a romance novel. Surely there's more to it than that.”

«Thou shalt see in time,» he said. «Enough. I tire of pointless chatter.»

“Before you go, could you at least tell me what my name is?” I asked.

«If thou canst recall such information without help, we are lost,» he said, and fell silent.

He had a point. I spent the rest of time thinking about what I knew of myself. I was twenty-nine...thirty? No, twenty-nine. Or was I twenty-eight? Female. Dark hair, white eyes, pale skin. On the short side. Marauder—no, I was a warrior. I was from...Limsa Lominsa. No, I wasn't from there, but I usually stayed there. I wasn't a pirate. I could have been, though. I knew a lot of pirates. My name was on the tip of my tongue. Ammmm...nope, lost it.

“Midgardsormr, are we friends?” I asked.

His tail slapped my shoulder blade. I got the impression he was surprised by the question. «After a fashion,» he said. «The covenant binds me to thee, yet I do not find thy company intolerable. Thy life is but a mere thread in the long tapestry of existence, but I will never forget thee.»

I smiled. “I guess that's a yes. Sorry if you mourn me too much when I die of old age and all, but I'm still glad we're friends.”

«I will not mourn. It is the nature of mortals to die.»

“So it is.” I noticed some sort of brick edifice poking out of the snow ahead and walked faster. The wind picked up just as I arrived at the door to a strange circular building. I knocked.

The person who opened the door was well over a fulm taller than me, with pointy ears and silvery blue hair. He looked down at me and said, “An adventurer? Do you seek shelter?”

I nodded. He let me in and put his shoulder to the door to close it against the now howling wind. Inside, several other similarly tall and pointy-eared men sat at a table playing some sort of card game. The lone man not wearing chainmail smiled politely at me. He had a wool shirt trimmed with white ruffles and a hat with a big feather across the front. Though the other men in the room had bony, refined faces, his was something of a baby face, with rounder cheeks and a perpetual innocent look. I wondered if I knew him. “Ah, another adventurer,” he said. “Seeking work at Camp Dragonhead, I presume? I fear the blizzard that has just arrived will delay you, rather. What's your name?”

My name came out of my mouth reflexively. “Ameme,” I said. Oh yeah...My name was Ameme Ame. What a weird name.

“Well met, Ameme. I am Lord Francel of House Haillenarte and this is Skyfire Locks,” he said, waving around the room.

“Is Camp Dragonhead far?” I asked.

“Not terribly, but the storm outside...”

Welp, back out it was. “To the north?” I asked, just to be sure I was remembering correctly.

Francel looked concerned. “Surely you can't be thinking of traveling in that...!”

“I'll be fine,” I said. “Just a few minutes inside to warm up and I'll be off.” I seated myself by the rather weak fire and held my hands near the heat. Much better. When I had feeling back in everything, I cracked the door open and slid outside. It didn't want to shut thanks to the wind, but I got it firmly closed and started north.

Skyfire Locks had several buildings on the way to Camp Dragonhead, but they were not very far apart and the blizzard wasn't terrible enough to make me seek shelter every three paces yet. It had crept north as well, but I outpaced it before long and discovered I was on a real, honest-to-goodness road leading to a huge fortified outpost. I made it to about shouting distance of the gates of the outpost when a massive shape hurtled past me, howling like a banshee and waving noodle-like arms. The frost-covered goobbue, a giant block of a creature with a mouth able to swallow three adults whole, charged the gates.

“Great,” I muttered as the outpost guards raced to stop the rampaging goobbue. I unholstered my axe and ran. “Hyaah!!” I shouted, slamming the blade into the goobbue's back. It went through like a hot knife through butter, forcing me to carry my strike until I hit the ground. The goobbue staggered to a stop and, rather to my surprise, fell in two pieces. I hadn't realized I was that strong.

Between the two halves of the goobbue, I saw a group of men looking like they'd been prepared to be squashed, only to be disappointed. The one in front, another pointy-eared man with silver hair like the one who'd let me into Skyfire Locks, mouthed, “Wow!” at me and started grinning. Very dramatically, he pointed behind me. “To arms!” he shouted. “There are more!”

I whipped around to see a veritable army of crazed goobbues, their noodle arms flapping wildly as they rushed the outpost. This was getting better and better. I went to meet them, several other armed men on my heels. They weren't exactly strong, but there were a lot of them all over the place. We were at it for a good twenty minutes killing the lot, mostly because I was the only one who could dispatch them in a single hit and had to do a lot of running around to keep the rest of the men from being crushed. By the time the goobbues quit appearing out of the blizzard, I was starting to feel the burn in my legs. We withdrew to the outpost. I stuck by the gates since just walking in didn't feel right.

“What got into them?” grumbled the gate guard. “You there—the one with the axe. What's your name?”

“Ameme,” I said.

“An adventurer, eh,” he said. “Thank you for your assistance. I've never seen anyone cleave a goobbue in two like that before. Looking for work?” I nodded. “Excellent. We could use someone like you. Lord Haurchefant is—” He stopped and nodded deferentially to the silver-haired man who had just walked up. “Lord Haurchefant, I was just speaking to the adventurer who helped us. She is wanting for employment.”

Haurchefant turned out to be one of those enthusiastic types who gestured a lot when excited. “I saw, I saw! That was magnificent, my friend!” he cried. “To think there are women like you in the world who can bring down a goobbue in a single stroke! My heart skipped a beat when the beast fell in two to reveal your most gallant figure standing behind. Indeed, there is work aplenty for those such as yourself.” He waved to a building not far inside the outpost. “Come, warm yourself by our hearth. We can discuss terms of employment inside. Oh, Ser Hourefaut, if you could...” He started chatting with the gate guard. Figuring him for a talkative sort, I shrugged and entered the building he'd indicated without him.

The building consisted of two stories, with the first story devoted to a single large room furnished with a few chairs, a large table covered in maps and figurines of dragons and knights, a desk and office space in the back, and a large fireplace along the side. Three men exercised shirtless in one corner while a rather motley-looking group of men and women occupied the chairs in another. The biggest of the motley group waved me over, calling, “Oi! Oi, newbie! Over here!”

One of the women, who had cat ears and a tail, said, “Another new face! Welcome to Camp Dragonhead, newbie. They might all be Ishgardians but they're the friendly sort.”

The one who had called me over snorted. “Friendly? Bit more than that, some of 'em. The pay's good, though.”

“Oh, psh,” said the other woman of the group, a freckled brunette with large green eyes. “If ye can't handle Haurchefant staring at yer arse every now and then, ye don't belong here. Not like he does anything, anyway. He's all talk.”

“I think he's nice,” said the cat woman. What was she again...? Miqo'te? That was it. Weren't they more of a warm-weather sort? “At least he's more of an equal opportunity ogler. So what's your name, newbie?”

I was going to be introducing myself a lot, wasn't I? “Ameme.”

The Miqo'te woman beamed. “Nice to meet you! I'm G'buloleh, but everyone calls me Goobbue. The Roe is Moonlight River and my rough-n-tumble Hyur friend here is Essenta. Our silent Elezen companion is Soluvrian. Don't mind him, he's not much of a talker.”

Roe? Oh, Roegadyn. I recalled the names for the various types now. Moonlight River raised a hand in greeting, while Essenta and Soluvrain simply nodded. Soluvrain had his hood up, so all I could see of his face was a flash of red-brown hair and a stern mouth.

“Our new friend here don't seem to be much of a talker herself,” Essenta observed.

Moonlight River decided to continue the conversation about Haurchefant. “You only think he's nice because he doesn't mind when you trip and crash into him!” he told Goobbue.

Goobbue's tail flicked. “He's perfectly kind outside of that! Besides, I thought you liked it when someone complimented your muscles.”

“Not when it's a—hello, Lord Haurchefant. What was the commotion outside?”

I glanced over my shoulder at the man in question as he entered. Haurchefant shut the doors behind himself and dusted the snow off his head. “An army of goobbues—and not the bardic variety, either!” Haurchefant said, smiling at the Miqo'te woman. “I see you've met the hero of the hour already. She split the goobbues in twain as though it were nothing.”

“Really? Ooo, she didn't mention that!” Goobbue leaned forward, interested.

“Not that we gave her a chance,” Essenta noted. “So, Ameme, anything else you'd care to divulge?”

Everyone waited a beat as though they expected me to actually say something. I shrugged. Haurchefant said, “So your name is Ameme, is it? Come, come, let us discuss the terms of your employment.” He led me to the desk in the back and sat in the high-backed chair. As I shifted in front of the desk, he fetched out a sheet of paper and started filling it with beautiful calligraphy. The man's penmanship was gorgeous. “Hmm...you have demonstrated your ability to wield your axe most effectively, but is there aught else you would like to do?” he asked as he wrote.

If there was something else I could do, hell if I remembered. I shook my head.

“Very well, then. Standard pay for a week's worth of work is one thousand gil, not including pay for any extra work you choose to undertake. You also receive a standard sleeping mat and two meals a day. Does this sound fair to you?”

“What sort of work would I be doing?” I asked.

Haurchefant stared at me. I wondered if I had said something wrong, but then he blinked and said, “Oh, fairly standard work for an adventurer—escorting porters, fetching or chopping firewood, things of that nature. Though after what I have seen you do, I may ask you to undertake more dangerous tasks! Nothing as difficult as fighting dragons, of course, but there are many dangers here in Coerthas.”

“Dragons?” I thought of Midgardsormr.

“Yes, the Dravanian horde is a constant threat here,” Haurchefant said. “Outsiders are not expected to assist in any capacity so you needn't worry about getting involved. Should you come to be threatened by a dragon during your duties, we would not be ungrateful if you choose to dispatch it, of course. Ah, and you receive no extra pay for fighting them...I suppose that is something to keep in mind as well.”

“Seems like that might get more dragons killed if you did,” I said.

He shook his head. “It has been tried and we have discovered the skill levels of adventurers far too variable to make it standard practice. Now we actively discourage it, in fact. You can read, I take it? Excellent. Pray look over the document to ensure it is to your liking before you sign at the bottom.”

I took the paper and read it. 'The undersigned hereby agrees to render select services (resource gathering, escort, hunting) in exchange for a weekly stipend of 1,000 gil...'

He really did have the most beautiful handwriting. It was cursive with lots of pretty loops, all regularly sized and at a precise angle. I signed at the bottom with letters that looked like they'd just gotten out of a bar after a full night's drinking.

Haurchefant set the signed document aside and beamed at me. “I look forward to seeing your skills in action,” he said, sounding as though he meant it.

[dragons-bones]

FFXIV Write Entry #7: Cruel Arcanist’s Thesis

Prompt: nonagenarian | Master Post | On AO3

Spoilers for Sorrow of Werlyt through Patch 5.3. WARNING for REREHA; do not be drinking or eating while reading!

--

“I present Garlond Ironworks’ adaptation of the Ultima Warrior: the G-Warrior!” Cid was gleefully smug, the epitome of someone living out a boyhood dream.

The four Warriors of Light and the trio of Ascian hunters stared up at the warmachina kneeling before them, varying degrees of shock or awe on their faces. Rereha was particularly slackjawed, head craned far back enough that she had to plant her hand on her crown to keep her hat in place, but suddenly she snapped her mouth closed and sung something under her breath, in what sounded like Hingan. Alakhai aimed a kick at her without looking that Rere nimbly dodged, also without looking.

“I know Allagan design when I see it,” Gaius said softly. “Excavated from one their ruins, no doubt.”

“Azys Lla, to be precise,” said Cid, turned to the other Garlean with that gleefully smug expression still firmly in place. “We came across it during the course of our investigations and decided it would be a shame to let it go to waste.”

Heron blinked and swiveled her head around to stare at Cid. “Wait, Ultima Warrior—not that thing we fought inside the Fractal Continuum investigating the resurgence in activity after the Liberation?”

“The very same! Well,” Cid shrugged, “one of the things you four fought. We’re still mining the museum’s databases to figure out most of what’s even on display or in storage there. A warmachina was the perfect starting point—”

“Cidolfus Garlond,” Synnove said, still looking up at the G-Warrior, her voice full of malice, “did you refurbish an Allagan warmachina and not invite me over to the Ironworks to help?”

Cid froze mid-sentence, eyes widening as the full scope of his error hit him full force. Silence descended on the group as they all turned to look at first Synnove, and then Cid; the Warriors of Light in anticipation, the Ascian hunters in mild confusion. Rereha took out a bag of candied nuts from her pocket, opening it and shoving a handful into her mouth, chewing as she watched.

“Um,” said the engineer, gaze darting around frantically. “Happy nameday?”

“You sit on a throne of lies, my nameday is next moon and you know it,” Synnove said, finally turning to look at him. Galette yawned, finally waking up from her nap, took in her mama’s expression, and immediately hopped down, bounding over to Alakhai and pawing at her knees. The Xaela leaned down and scooped the carbuncle up into her arms, letting the construct flop around her shoulders with a dramatic huff.

“Cid,” Heron said gently, reaching towards Synnove, “I can give you five seconds.”

Cid bolted. Synnove lunged forward, but was halted by Heron clamping down on Synnove’s shoulders, the arcanist screeching in rage as she struggled against the Hellsguard’s sturdy grip.

And then, after five seconds, Heron let Synnove go.

Synnove tore after Cid, yelling at the top of her lungs, “DID YOU LET NERO IN ON THIS? I SWEAR TO THAL IF SCAEVA GOT HIS HANDS IN ITS GUTS BEFORE I COULD—”

“I DID NOT LET NERO ANYWHERE NEAR THE ALLAGAN WARMACHINA!”

“What is it with geniuses and not thinking ahead about the consequences of their actions, or their lack of action?” Rereha mused as she watched Synnove chase Cid around the forward operating base, still chewing on her candied nuts. “It’s like they don’t want to live to the ripe old age of like, ninety-six.”

“Do you?” Gaius drawled.

Heron and Alakhai’s faces both contorted into expressions of terrified disgust, and they immediately slapped their hands over their ears and horns. Alakhai started humming loudly, and Galette shoved her head down the front of Alakhai’s tunic.

“Fuck no,” said an aghast Rereha, “I’m gonna die at the age of forty-five of combined liver failure and heart attack with my face buried between the thighs of a high-class courtesan after drinking twice my volume in Bacchus wine and coming sixteen times the night before.”

A beat of silence.

Two.

Three.

The former Black Wolf closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose before he slowly let the breath out again in a heavy gust. “I had to say something,” he muttered, tired and resigned. “I knew better and I had to say something regardless.”

Valdeaulin had his hand over his mouth, staring skyward as his shoulders shook and the occasional muffled snicker escaped him. Severa stared at the bard in revulsion, saying in disbelief, “These are the vaunted Warriors of Light?”

“Oh, she can be much worse,” Heron said as she removed her hands from her ears. Now she cupped them around her mouth, shouting out towards the engineer running for his life and the enraged aetherophysicist baying for his blood, “SYNNOVE! If you don’t knock it off, Rere gets first dibs on piloting!”

Synnove swerved towards them, still going at full speed, while Cid collapsed to the ground with a relieved wheeze. As she barreled back towards the G-Warrior, Ivar forcibly manifested himself and hung to his mama’s shoulder, cackling in glee. A single word floated to the group as Synnove kept running:

“MINE!”

[dragons-bones]

FFXIV Write 2018 Entry #4: Horizon’s Edge

Prompt: Saving time

AKA, That Time Heron and Rere Learned About Synnove’s Ability To Charm Creatures

“If we get out of this alive,” Dancing Heron hissed, “we are never taking one of your ‘shortcuts’ ever again, do you hear me?”

Rereha nodded frantically. “Yeah, sure, you betcha, I’m an idiot, oh my gods it’s coming closer.”

“’I know a shortcut between Black Brush and Horizon, it’ll be fine.’” Heron pitched her husky voice as high as it could go in imitation of Rereha, the tone dripping with derision.

“Holy shite, will you please shut up?”

“And like absolute fucking fools, Synnove and I listen to you, and now we’ve fallen into a peiste nest and Synnove’s unconscious!”

“YOU ARE NOT HELPING.”

The desert peiste advancing on them took umbrage with Rereha’s tone of voice. The large scalekin draw its head back, hood flaring, and HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED.

Rereha and Heron screamed and clutched each other tighter.

Synnove suddenly sat up behind them. “Wha’ the fuck happ’n’d?” she managed to slur out. “Think ‘m concus- concussed.”

“That’s really the least of our worries right now!”

“Owwwww, Rere, not s’ lo—oh my gosh you’re a pretty baby!”

The other two teenagers paused. So did the peiste, cut off mid-hiss. All three turned to look at Synnove.

The hyur was staring right at the peiste and beaming. “Awww, you’re really pretty! Such shiny scales!”

The peiste’s hood flattened a little. Rereha would swear later it was looking around in confusion. She knew she had.

Synnove shuffled out on her knees from behind her lalafell and roegadyn friends, holding out her hand. “Are you a boy or a girl? Either way you’re so pretty, yes you are!”

“Synnove what are you doing?” Heron gritted out from between her teeth. Rereha clung to Heron harder.

Synnove ignored her, cooing wordlessly with her hand still outstretched, the palm facing down.

Very, very slowly, the peiste inched closer. Heron and Rereha leaned back as far as they could, which wasn’t much since the wall of the cave was almost right behind them. They both twitched as the peiste stretched out its long, long neck, hood only slightly flared, until—

It put the tip of its nose right beneath Synnove’s palm, and every so gently, pushed up.

Synnove crooned.

Heron and Rereha’s jaws both dropped.

“What the everliving fucking shite,” Rereha said. Heron made a garbled noise in the back of her throat.

Their Highlander friend softly rubbed the peiste’s nose, and raised her other hand to just as softly run her fingers along its throat. “Awwww, you’re much softer than I thought you’d be!” she said. “And I think you’re a girl, you don’t have the ridges along your eyes like the males do. I’m sorry, sweetheart, did we fall into your nest? Is this where you’re gonna lay your eggs?”

Rereha mouthed ‘eggs?!’ in utter horror. Heron closed her eyes and breathed deeply through her nose in resignation, opening her eyes again after a long moment.

The peiste let out a long breath, very much like a sigh, and slitted her eyes closed.

Synnove removed the hand she had been using to stroke the scalekin’s throat, raised it up, and gestured sharply with it.

Rereha blinked, confused, but Heron reacted quickly. She picked Rereha up under one arm and stood up in a crouch, carefully inching around Synnove and the charmed peiste. She snagged their packs with her other hand from where they had dropped them when the trio fell into the cave, having left them behind when the peiste had first begun advancing in favor of dragging the then-unconscious Synnove with her and Rereha.

The peiste opened her eye to staaaaaaare at the Hellsguard as she passed. Heron did not make eye contact, instead immediately stilling and staring straight ahead. Rereha slapped her hands over her own eyes. They both gulped.

Synnove gave the scalekin’s nose a scritch, drawing the creature attention back to herself again. The peiste closed her eye and let out another of those long sighs.

Heron scrambled out of the cave, saying as she did, “You and your fucking shortcuts, Rereha, I swear to Thal.”

“Bitch me out later, keep going!”