#i suppose I'll have to take things into my own hands 🙄

[spidybaby]

I need more angst with Kylian please ❤️

"Do you like these flowers?" You ask him.

You have different flower books in front of the two of you. You are seating on his legs, trying to pick different things.

He's a little lost. His focus is on the big windows that shows the backyard of his Madrid home.

"I think I want this ones." You point at a very nice, simple but cute bouquet. "What do you think?"

His attention goes back to you, who seem to pass how he's lost.

"I love those." he says, not really knowing what he's saying. "I think they are the best."

You smile, happy that he picks the same thing as you. You two are on the same page on most of the things.

You close the book, sending a text to your wedding planner with the things you two picked.

"Do you want to take a bath with me?" he asks, hugging your waist. "I'll even add that bathbomb you love."

"I still need to pick some other things." You pout. "Wait for me?"

He nods. Trying to not look that disappointed. He feels like he was about to roll his eyes at how tired he is about all these plans and things.

yourusername

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yourusername a little behind the scenes✨

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voguespain something borrowed and something blue can be spotted 👀❤️

kyksxjude this means the wedding is sooner than we expected 😭😭😭

bellaxy/n something blue like what? 🙄

k.mbappe ❤️❤️❤️

laminexfermin bro come to Barcelona

cr7thegoat @lamimexfermin shut up

-

"Miss Lamari, what do you think about this?" You ask her. "My mom says it's cute."

She examined your hair. "I think you look amazing, love." she smiles. "It's all about you."

You smile at her, turning back to the mirror. You give your hairstylist a nod, indicating that the style was the one.

"I thought you were going for your usual Ponytail." Melissa says, looking at you over the mirror.

You turn to her, shaking your head. "I know this is a little out of my comfort zone, but I feel good on this."

"And do you think Kylian would like this?" she asks.

You were about to answer, but Fayza is quicker.

"Of course he's going to like her hair. He loves everything she does and wears." she says, hands on your shoulders.

You thank your future mother in law. You knew that many things were new for you during the process of planning the wedding, but you wanted to look good and to have a nice ceremony.

You want to have the best experience ever. Kylian and you were forever in your eyes. You wanted to seal the whole thing and enjoy the rest of your life with him.

"Do you." You try to formulate the question to Melissa. "Do you think he won't like my hair?"

She sighed, "I think he would like it." she began. She's trying to explain her point. "I just thought you wanted something more traditional to you and to your style."

You understand her point. You did want something more you, but also you wanted a timeless look.

Something your kids and grandkids will look and say < oh, I want this for my own wedding >

You want to be able to look at your photo album and say that you loved the hair, the dress, the makeup, everything.

That's why you were so into Kylian liking every detail, the flowers, the food, the cake, the venue.

It was something that he was supposed to enjoy and to like as much as you. Something to mark the beginning of your life together.

"You have your interview with Vogue for the wedding special. And then you can leave for your Bachelorette Party." your mom says.

Your mom was not that, but she was also your manager. She has been since the beginning of your career at fourteen.

You nod, ready to leave to where the interview will take place. You wanted to be able to finish quickly.

You thank Melissa and Fayza for coming with you to the makeup and hair trial. You feel happy that they were there with you.

Your mom and you drive to the location. Feeling anxious because you needed to go home and get ready for your own party.

"Hey, sweet baby." Anto says.

She's the boss of Vogue Spain. When she heard the news about Kylian and you getting engaged, she immediately asked you to do a Vogue Wedding Special.

It was going to be the first time Vogue in Spain did a wedding special, and they wanted you on it.

The whole city of Paris, the whole city of Madrid and both your fans were excited to get any details of the wedding.

The magazine was supposed to be out the day of the wedding. Making it the first edition that launches the same day as the wedding.

"Okay. I need you to tell me every little detail." she says. "Go crazy." she chuckles, making you chuckle too. "Let's begin with something simple but exciting. The engament, tell me about that day."

"Oh, well." You smile, thinking about that day. You began telling her the details, how you took it, how he planned it, or how he told you he did.

voguespain & yourusername

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voguespain @yourusername joined us in a before the wedding intimate session to share the details of her special day.

The Family of Vogue Spain is honored to open the Wedding Specials with such an icon. Someone who has been on many of our covers.

Thank you to Y/n for opening her heart to us ❤️

-

Kylian reads the Instagram post you were tagged on. Liking the picture but not leaving a comment.

He's frustrated, tired, annoyed even.

It's not that he's second guessing the marriage. It's not that he's second guessing your relationship. It was the whole wedding thing.

He wanted something a little more private, but once your mother got her hands on the idea of a big wedding, it was a lost cause.

Originally, you wanted something like him. Private, and cute. But since then, your mother, his mother, and everybody else thought they have a say that's more important than his own.

He tried to talk to you. Many times where he tried to give you the hint that he's not comfortable with the arrangement of things.

You didn't catch it. You were focused on trying to make everybody happy. As a people pleaser, you wanted to be able to have your own vision and everybody's vision.

He turns to you, sleeping peacefully next to him. He smiles at the sight of you. You are his forever.

Something about the planning of the wedding feels off. He remembers how much you wanted to have a joined Bachelorette party, and now you had your Bachelorette, and he had his own.

The same with the rehearsal dinner. You dreamed since you were a kid to have something small and be able to eat home-cooked food, have some light drinks and enjoy the day before your big moment.

And that day is now a big shit show. He

He feels trapped. Is it really hard to be able to have a nice, small, and intimate ceremony with you?

The wedding was just about to happen. He was nervous because he didn't feel joy. He's stressed about you being stressed and conditioned to fulfill everyone's wishes.

Even if that meant leaving your own wishes out of the picture.

He feels numb, the day goes by, but his mind can't really focus on anything. Is that even a life worth living?

"Why are you so lost?" Ethan asks. "Are you nervous? Cause I'm nervous. " He confess

Kylian chuckles, feeling a little better about his day. Ethan always cheers him up. "I am." He says. "But I think it's normal to be nervous."

"Well, I don't know. I don't even have a girlfriend." Ethan laughed. "Maybe I'm not the right one to say if it's normal or not."

"Very smart answer."

They laugh at other jokes. Kylian feels more relaxed now. His brother was his band-aid. "Let's go out, don't let your bride wait."

He nods, smiling at the way everybody was proud of him for making you his bride. It was all a fever dream since the proposal.

They walked to where everybody is, saying hi to the people on the way to find you. You stood there, talking happy with some family members. Showing them the engagement ring.

He would kill if someone ever tried to take your smile away. The way you tell your family how you said yes. It was magical.

He was about to walk closer to you, but a hand interrupted him. "Kylian, care if I stole you for a moment?" You mother ask.

He nods, smiling at her. Even when your mom isn't his cup of tea, he respects her because she's your mother.

She walks him out of the party, someone quieter. "I want to talk to you before talking with my daughter." She says.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, worried. "Do you need help with something? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, don't worry about me, kiddo." She stops him. "I wanted to tell you first because I feel like you would be the perfect person to break the news to her."

"Okay?" He says, narrow eyes. "Tell me."

The Cheshire cat smiled she had made him shiver. "I got her to be on a very important runway. Like a life changing one. That means that you might have to delay your honeymoon a few months for preparation." She says.

He blinks a few times. Was he hearing her correctly? "You want me to tell Y/n that we need to delay our honeymoon?" He asks, not believing what she just said. "The honeymoon she always dreamed to have?"

"Oh, she's just a silly girl with dumb dreams." You mother laugh. "That can wait. This business can't."

The way he feels his blood boil is alarming. He wants to say something nasty, but he won't. She was still your mother.

"With all due respect, I don't give a damn about any stupid runway show." He smiles, the same smile she had just a moment ago. "Tomorrow, when our wedding party is over, we are flying to the honeymoon your daughter always wanted. Point blank period."

He walks away from her, fearing he is going to say something he will regret. He tried to find you, but first he needs to calm down.

He walks over to where your father and his are. They were talking about sports so he tried to act like he was joining the conversation.

"Care if I join you?" He smile at them.

They integrate him into the conversation. He feels the relaxation fulfill him, he needed that. They all chatted about different sport conversations. Normal boys talk, his mother would say.

His father excuses himself to answer a phone call. Leaving him alone with yours. "Ready for tomorrow?"

"Too late to regret it." He jokes, making your father laugh. "I'm very excited." He says more seriously. "I love your daughter, and I want to make her happy."

"You will, son." He pats his back. "Now, if you excuse me, I'll try to find my wife before the food is served."

He stays alone at the bar, drinking calmly his liquor. He's not a fan of drinking but tonight he need it.

"Why so alone?" Melissa asks.

"Calming the nerves." He lifts his glass.

Melissa narrowed her eyes. "Why are you nervous?"

"I just want for this showing and partying to be done. I just want to take her home as my wife, that's it."

He can be honest with Melissa, she has been there for him when he thought he was alone.

"Then why are you guys doing all this?" She points at the whole party. "Why not something simple?"

He sighs. "I wonder the same."

Melissa saves her opinion. She knows she's able to be honest when she's with him. But she prefers to just not be a party killer.

They chat for a little bit, just talking about dumb things. She wants to make Kylian feel a little bit less frustrated.

"Hey, there you are." You say, hugging his waist. "I missed you tonight." You joke.

He turns to where you are, grabbing your waist and smiling at you. He goes for a lip kiss and you went for a cheek kiss.

"Sorry, the gloss." You smile at him. You grab a napkin, wiping the gloss of your lips. "Done, come here."

You grab his cheeks, kissing his lips. "Missed you too." He says, separating for a moment and then going back for another kiss.

"Let's sit down." You say, pulling him to the table. "I order your favorite pasta." You smile. "Yours is a little bit more healthy, but as good as always."

He smiles, knowing that even when he's not the most comfortable with this party arrangement. He's happy that you care enough to get his likes above everything else.

The dinner was good, your parents gave some words, his parents did too. It was nice and calmed.

His friends were there, messing with him about life as a married man, how he needs to be home earlier, his phone always in hand. Jokes like that.

"No to shit on your happiness, but I'm just here because you are my friend." One of his childhood friends says.

"What are you even on?" Kylian laugh. "Why?"

"Don't pay attention to me." The friend laughed. "Just, hope you get better luck."

"I'm very lucky. Have you seen my fiance?"

"Dude, be for real." He says, shaking his head. "I'm not talking about her appearance. She's gorgeous. But Melissa mentioned how tired you were and nervous. You aren't supposed to feel nerves."

"Am I supposed to feel what?"

"Joy!" He shouts. "My ex and I. I was a nerve rack. I'm trying to calm myself with Xanax and shit. That didn't work. We didn't work. I let her have her way to the wedding. Her mom, better say. Then it was the kids who had to be as her mother said, the schools her mother approved." He scuffs. "Don't be that one."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Don't get married. If you don't feel the vibe, don't." His friend says, patting his arm, saying a goodbye.

Kylian was left speechless. The insecurities he felt during the past few days were fulfilling his mind. He didn't want your mother or his to dictate your life.

He didn't want to grow a family for him to not even have a voice on it. He wanted for it to be you and him.

"Hey, amour." You say, interrupting his thoughts. "Can I talk to you about something?"

He nods, a little lost.

You grab his hand, bringing him into a corridor, a little far from the others. "What's happening?"

"I want to ask you something." He nods, waiting for you to continue. "So my mom and I were talking." You began.

He wants to roll his eyes, just the line he didn't wanted to hear. "About?"

"She got me to be on this very important fashion show." You say happy. You wanted that show since the beginning of your career. "I know I should be focused on the wedding, but I wanted to tell you about it."

"That's amazing, bébé." He hugs you. "You'll have the best time. And even better, you'll be so relaxed when we are back from our honeymoon."

"About that." You interrupt. "Mom thinks I need to start training and focusing on this project as soon as possible. She thinks it's best if we reschedule our honeymoon." You say, hoping he understood.

He laughs, bitter taste to his mouth. "Not going to happen."

Your smile dropped. "But Kylian, it's only a few weeks, please.'"

He shakes his head. "No. End of story."

"C'mon, we rescheduled the wedding because of the Champions League." You remind him.

"No, we rescheduled the wedding because you had this Balmain campaign. It just worked with me because of the Champions League." He reminds you.

You nod. "I get it." You calmly say. "Just, please. This last time."

He shakes his head. "It took me months to be able to get these things scheduled. The trip, everything." He says he's angry but won't shout at your or anything. "I think it won't kill you to start after our honeymoon."

You nod. "Fine." You say. "I'll let her now. Just so you know, she will be mad." You lift your hands, walking back to the little remaining party.

If only you could hear how he thinks about not giving a single fuck about your mother's opinion on his decisions. You would die.

He's stressed again. Body tensing at how the whole thing is making him uncomfortable. It's okay to feel that way, but not for this long time.

He tried to calm down, moving back to the salon. He finds only a few people left. Your parents and sibling. Your friend who is on the wedding party. His family.

"Hey, Kyks." Ethan calls him. "Come say your goodbyes to Y/n."

He smiles, walking over to where you are. He kisses the side or your head. You hug him tightly.

"See you tomorrow at the end of the altar." You whisper to him. "Bye, husband." You giggle after saying that. Making him smile.

"Bye, love." He whispers back.

voguespain has added to their story

You smile at the pictures in front of the chapel. You feel like in a fairy tale. Loving how everybody looks so happy, so calm.

You smile at your dad, taking some pictures with him and your grandmother. "Let's get inside." You say.

Melissa steps in front of you. Smiling awkwardly. "Don't you want some more pictures with your mother?"

You frown confused. You've been taking pictures with your bridal party, your siblings, your mother, father and even his parents and Ethan.

She grabbed your hand, taking you inside and to the side. Ethan noticed this and decides to get closer too.

"What's wrong?" You ask. "Is it the guests? There's not that many people? That's okay, we can start, I don't mind."

You don't want to stress. Today, there's nothing that can stress you. You feel such happiness that you don't mind anything going wrong with flowers, guests, and arrangements.

"No, sis." Ethan says. "It's Kylian."

You turn your head confused. "Something happened to him? Is he okay?"

"He's." Ethan tries to find the words. "He's not here yet."

Your smile drops, and a frown of confusion is now the expression you have on you. You grab Ethan's arm, looking at the time on his watch. "But we are thirty minutes late." You say. "Have you try calling him?"

Melissa and Ethan look at each other. They, in fact, tried to call Kylian. But he didn't answer any of them.

"Mom!" You call her. "Give me my phone." You order her.

You push your way to her. Grabbing her purse and taking your phone out. You hand her the bouquet of your flowers.

You look around, finding the room where the priest changes. You grab the tail of your dress, walking there.

You close the door behind you, leaving the people calling your name. You grab the phone with shaky hands.

What if something happened to him?

What if he got in a car accident?

You thought he wasn't going to answer the call. "Kylian," you say when you hear his breathing. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm at my château." He says, shaky voice.

"Oh, God. You are okay." You smile. "Did something happen to your car?"

He can't answer. He feels his heart breaking at what he's doing right now. "My car is fine."

"Then why aren't you here?" You ask, a little louder than you expected. "I don't mind that you are late. I'm always late." You joke, trying to make the situation lighter.

"I can't do it." He says. Dropping the bomb directly. "I love you with all my heart. I just can't do this. This is not the wedding I want."

Your heart sink.

"Are you crazy?" You ask. "Kylian, don't do this to me." You sob. "Is this about the honeymoon? Or the runway show? I don't have to do it. Just come."

"I'm sorry." He says. "I love you, but I can't do this. I hope you forgive me."

The phone call ended.

You stood there, looking over the window. The chapel where the wedding was supposed to happen was also the venue where the party was going to happen.

You look at the tables. The workers finish placing the flowers. The same flowers you two picked.

You take the phone away from your face. The screen is already black. You look at your reflection, eyes full of tears.

You hear the door opening, turning to see who it is and finding Ethan. The look on his face changes as soon as he notices your expression.

"He's not coming." You say.

[thecoolerliauditore]

Can i propose a wild thought to you that I'm rattling off as I just thought of it

Have you considered the lizzie-scott parallels/contrasts?

One of my favourite things about Lizzie is her perpetual "i meant to do that!" attitude she approaches everything with. She thinks herself the leader of sorts and the only compitent bamboozler but my girl is just as big of a loser and klutz, she's just gotten slightly luckier so far. Its why I love her and Jimmy, they both think they're the responsible one when really they play hot potato with the braincell except neither noticed the braincell was replaced with an actual hot potato. She's better at certain things (remembering things and deduction in particular) but none of those things are surviving and its completely negated by her curiosity.

But anyways my point is that like Scott she tries to pretend she's competent and the smart one who is babysitting her teammates, keeping them under control, when she isn't any of those things and actually she cares a lot and is internally screaming all the time.

She's just capable of dropping the mask to be vulnerable. Or, yknow, aware it is in fact a mask in the first place. At the end of the day Lizzie can open up and apologize when she does something silly or says something a bit too mean. She'll just find something new to puff up her chest about.

She's also a sweat, she's just really bad at it.

(Sorry I could probably compare seablings vs fh more to emphasise my point but im trying really hard to keep to the point of this ask without going on tangents and I don't trust myself to not spend 3 hours writing about seablings and forgetting the whole point if I do (also you could also probably compare joel/lizzie to your scott/pearl stuff but 1) i think that probably works better comparing joel and scott more than lizzie and scott and 2) i think comparing their relationship with the same person even if its a different type of relationship might be more revealing and 3) i'm bias))

I ACTUALLY HAVE PONDERED SCOTT AND LIZZIE BEFORE. Not to any level that I feel is worth its own post or anything but they definitely do have a handful of common points that have sent me spiraling in the past (<- guy who really, really likes death games in general and totally didn't try to map out a full hunger games AU at one point. and put scott and lizzie in district 1 together because it just makes sense and has horrifying implications for both of them).

Anyway this is all very true, I hadn't even considered it in the context of their relationships with Jimmy but it makes a lot of sense with the whole. Awhhh I have to Keep Him Alive oop there he goes I guess he'll be die next session 🙄🙄 sort of energy they both try to embody. And how it's kind of performative for both of them, but I think I'll have to let the season play out a bit more before I form any sort of opinion on Lizzie's treatment of Jimmy. (I'm forever sad that Lizzie missed out on three seasons I feel like she might've been a smajor level blorbo to me if she was just there more)

This is a little on the meta side but from what I understand Scott pretty much started off his youtube career with Lizzie's guidance post-WoW-party so I suppose it makes enough sense that he takes after her so much on a persona level as well. Except he's a lot worse at embracing the tongue-in-cheek insincerity. That thing you said about the mask.

I do think Scott is at least acutely aware of his performative nature too, just less willing to acknowledge it for what it is. Lizzie is lying to you, Scott is lying to you but more importantly lying to himself. And that's the difference that I think makes Scott so much more. Dangerous? I suppose would be the word to use. Other than the fact that he is just overall a lot better at being a sweat in general but I'd argue even that could be seen as part of his constant need to keep up his perfect image.

Anyway I'm very unfamiliar with Lizzie and Jimmy's dynamic so I'm excited to see how it goes and even moreso with the comparison to my guy now planted i n my mind. Cheers I loveee stuff like this.

Also sidenote I do find it very entertaining that I'm as predictable as I am <-- has thought about scott/pearl and joel/lizzie as foils alot especially in LL

[katyspersonal]

Croooewww..... Crow wtf this is so sweet... why you made whole rannt I am sobbing gfhtgfhfgv Thank you so much..

I am really happy that you feel this way;;;; I have been noticing that usually people who are meticulous about the Soulsborne lore speak from the position of "intellectual superiority" and deny any alternative interpretations of the source! It IS something I am deliberately trying to avoid, and uproot if I have it! It took me a lot of effort to go from "creep gehrman takes are dumb and inaccurate" to calmly explaining what evidence is inaccurate and just asking people to not pull gehrman/gehrmaria hate and bullying over their preference! And I still want to do better and focus my frustration on bad behavior, not this or that take!

It is clear that """anon""" decided I hate personal interpretations and believe that I am the only one who understands Miyazaks writing because in the recent post I strongly insisted that he would NOT write a story that excuses genocide! I do not understand how that is a controversial take, even if you ignore every other item description in SOTE telling you Crusade is horrendous act! Story can't exist outside of author's intention, and we know Miyazaki is not a fascist, okay? And saying so doesn't equal saying personalized interpretations can't or should not exist!

Sigh, like I said, as much as I want to be open and unbiased, I have limits, and I've somewhat lost my patience when I disagreeded SO strongly. The thing is, it takes me readings that excuse genocide (fictional but still) paired with condescending behavior to get angry, whereas people I criticize get angry at "wrong" ships, "wrong" sexuality headcanons, "wrong" designs of a character without canon face data, "wrong" headcanons on timeline of events, "wrong" opinions and so on and so on. Without 'condescending behavior' part, they literally just exist in the same fandom space. I did not name concrete examples, but for each you guys could remember one that you've seen, right? I disapprove of this behavior! It is this simple!

And yes, I am a "tank". I unintentionally developed the habit of "speaking for those who can't". Because whenever someone has concern with bad shit in the fandom but is scared to talk about it in fear of starting drama or attracting harrassment, I jump in and go "I'll do it myself, after all I am the bad guy of our fandom pocket and no one expects anything good from me". XD I guess me and Messmer share the trait of wanting to pick up the negative role so someone doesn't get their hands dirty, albeit for such drastically different reasons? Though maybe he is like this even in his relationships, and in happier context? I can see this lol And yes, you are the person that accepts anyone, no matter if they're shunned by the fandom or have PwObWeMaTiC uwu ship or whatever.. I appreciate this about you a lot Crow, not only because you was a safe haven for me when I was harassed myself.

And, yeah. It is whatever if that sounds pathetic, and anyone can think"oh my god who cares about trying to do better in the middle of fandom discourse it literally doesn't matter don't you guys have bills to pay or anything, touch grass 🙄🤦‍♂️" of it. It is not because fandoms are some vital spaces or it is heroic to speak against bs or anything. It is because it is NOT FAIR. Bitches expect me to see shit that is NOT FAIR and stay silent just because ai have job tomorrow or whatever. Why would anyone accept something that is NOT FAIR because "well fandom problems are not as important as 💫reeeeeeeeal💫 problems". Aside of it being weird to invest in something if by your own admission it is just some shit that doesn't matter:

Fandoms should NOT be these jarring, toxic, hostile spaces that any person who values their health should stay away from or take breaks from! They are supposed to be FUN! Conceptually! They should be spaces where everyone can be creative and have fun! Yeah I know that normally I am the misanthropic "nature of humanity" pessimistic guy, saying that every fandom sucks because every fandom has humans in it. And I've found reflection of that attitude in overanalyzing Dark Souls. But I've found something else too: that not all human instincts are destructive and bad, and that we can do better without losing what makes us human *glares at Gwyn and alike*. We can still remain passionate and obsessed without becoming toxic and mean-girlish! And yes, I know that caring about it is STILL risky, and I like anyone who tries to argue with that "nature of humanity" will inevitably become the exact thing I want to destroy. The thing is, despite what conclusion anon jumped to, this day is NOT today, nor it is even CLOSE.

God, not to be one of those "hateful anons" but you really need to drop the "holier than thou" type thing on all of your lore posts. As much as I'd love to debunk why half your arguements are overused and don't work, I'll save that because that's not my point.

On almost all of your lore posts you mention at least once how "people aren't ready for stories of this level" or some shit along those lines, and let me ask you this: Why do you think people like you can digest these stories better? You would probably answer something like "Because I can understand these stories unlike these stupid from haters" or something.

You aren't digesting these stories better then anyone else just because you spend 1000 hours looking into what Morgott's moldy toe item description mentions. Like seriously, all this complaining about why the fandom sucks yet youre just like all those "holier than thou" people in the fandom who keep mentioning how THEIR perspective is better then someone else's.

You also keep acting like personal interpretation doesn't exist on some note. Saying how [X] is actually what happened and that people are denying [X].

I looked into your blog because I thought some of your posts were interesting, but it turns out youre literally just like all the other fromsoftware fans you complain so much about. Hopefully this gives you some perspective, I guess.

Nah, it "didn't give me the perspective", because you are the one seriously misunderstanding here. I say that we as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories SPECIFICALLY to criticize fandom behavior.

We as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories because there are people who claim that "Miquella's character was assassinated by bad writing because in the base game he was hyped up to be kind and compassionate", when his arc was a fall from grace. How falling from grace equals writing him to never have had that grace to begin with? We as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories because whenever Fromsoft does not directly state something, fandom splits into two hostile groups each accusing another of media illiteracy or even various -isms and -phobias. (I advice you to ask Gehrman fans from Bloodborne fandom for extra insight on this one) We as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories because when they DO state something directly, the "cool kids" of the fandom decide it was either a bad writing or that they know better, and start to side-eye everyone who prefers canon over their """improved""" fanon. We as a fandom are not ready for Fromsoft stories because Miyazaki's brand of moral ambiguity, admission that there is no clear solution to world's problems and questioning the nature of humanity itself OFTEN falls on the deaf ears.

Like... you do realize that I still consider myself part of the fandom, despite not engaging beyond what is on my feed? That I do not claim that /I/ am ready for Miyazaki's writer genius? Just like everyone else, I can only do my best to TRY to understand him! Nonetheless, I am trying my best to be mature, and encourage maturity in others. It is hard to remain always calm and nice in a fandom that feels like a battlefield, everyone will get a bit rude! The point is to TRY to be better, which most people don't see the need for! I am calling out fandoms bad behavior and refusal to look deeper into story and characters than their habits and preferences, especially because these preferences often lead to conflicts and toxicity, not claiming moral superiority over my headcanons!

Personal interpretations are fair. What is NOT fair is when someone harps on a very well-researched post with easily debunked arguements, basically doing the "your post is nonsense because in my fanfic things are different" on them, and then another person that did not even read the post nor actually researched the lore beyond their preferences passionately agrees.

I'll have you know that I never spent "1000 hours on analyzing". I am autistic, you goddamn coward. I understand some obscure detail in a flash by just looking, or suddenly come up with an insight while busy at work. Sometimes I literally dream a theory or observation! I do not understand where the misconception that everyone needs to spend a lot of time to be hyper-observant about their special interest comes from. However, you believing that about me makes your claim even worse. You seriously just said that analysis of someone who.... well, analysed the lore, is not as valid as analysis of someone who just took scraps of lore they personally enjoyed to create their own thing. How does this make sense, exactly? Again: you'd have SOME point if you spoke against a stuck-up Reddittuber who makes it their daily mission to ruin someone's joy if their headcanon is not 100% accurate to the source, however, so far the inverse has been happening. People who decided something about lore just because it appealed to THEM will go and be rude to people who are trying to be objective. Not only this; I've had my headcanons (!) "corrected" multiple times because they were different from popular fanon!

.........speaking of certain people who think it is okay to harp on someone's lore post to downplay it when they are not even lorediggers themselves.... -_-

The way you glazed through my blog and jumped into an extremely inaccurate conclusion about my personality and attitude reminded me of the same impulsivity when someone took "stop treating Marika as noble hero against Hornsent evil, here are bad things that happened during her reign" as as "just another poorly researched Marika hate 🥺". 🙃 Your obvious vitriol for thorough lore research, your poorly disguised manipulation (you clearly did not think my posts were "interesting" with how much disdain you just expressed FOR them, but you wanted to wound me by faking "disappointment"), and above all, timing. My tone in yesterday's Marika and the fandom rant was in no, NO way different from how I usually speak in my blog! My mutuals (all 8 of them lol) can confirm! Yet I've never received (inaccurate) anon hate for this.. until now. Until recent very unfortunate encounter with extremely shallow individuals that started a debate yet refused to finish it when hypocrisy of the both was pointed out. 🌛

I think I know who you are. :/ 🤔 I'll keep that in mind, and being "prepared" will definitely lessen the effect if you try anything of the sort again, be sure of this.

(At the same time, IF I am wrong and you are just a fan that found me through that interaction, I'll have you know that your lowly cowardice by using anon instead of showing your face has put someone else under suspicion, and it will remain so unless you show yourself. In which case, hope you are proud of yourself. 🤦‍♂️)

[kitkatpancakestack]

Having watched 9-1-1 since S1, and in this case specifically since S2, I feel like one becomes desensitized to whatever this nonsense is between Buck and Eddie. I know this bc sometimes I'll be watching a clip or an episode and I'm like "ah yes so sweet, Eddie and Buck are each other's person" but THE WAY their story is told, it's easy to forget how this shit must look to the outside/casual viewer!

If you're like me and find yourself in need of a vibe check because these two dumbasses got you spiraling, here's a list of honest to God canon things this show has delivered:

🤔Buck and Eddie took all of half a day on the job together before they were ride or die BFFLs

🤔Outside the major disaster event, the second plot-focused episode of S2 is Buck doing the absolute most for Eddie for no other reason than he worships the ground Eddie walks on. In this episode we get the unbelievably subtextual conversation about "they're not my type" and "not mine either....at least not anymore" and *shoulder bumps*; we get Buck going with Eddie (???) to the hospital, Buck basically planning out a whole fun day at the firehouse for Chris, Buck introducing Eddie to Carla......I mean......

🤔Eddie was railing his wife most of S2 and still was so, so invested in Buck (he brought him to visit Santa with Chris????)

🤔"Are we the only people we know who don't have kids? .......BUCK!" *Switch to Buck about to risk it all for his future son*

🤔Buck and Eddie literally stare for about 10 solid seconds across space and time when Chris is found post-tsunami and it's so intense I have to look away!?

🤔Eddie tells Buck there is nobody he trusts with his son more than him. Nobody in the whole entire world. One in 7 billion babeyyyy.

🤔Oh yeah, they have an entire divorce/reconciliation plotline masquerading as the lawsuit arc

🤔They behave especially homoerotically in Buck's kitchen, but that's none of my business I guess ☕

🤔Buck bi-panics through all five stages of grief when he realizes he cannot dig to Eddie with his own bare hands

🤔Abby says "he (Buck) moved on a long time ago" and then just immediate cut to Buck talking about Christopher going to summer camp. Please, Tim, at least try to make these parallels less obvious I mean🙄

🤔Eddie is #disgusted at Abby and v protective over Buck, and I don't have the emotional capacity to detail the symbolism of Abby moving away and Eddie stepping forward (taking her place???) smh

🤔Buckley-Diaz domestic excellence literally in a literal episode literally titled Future Tense

🤔Eddie comes home from his date to *shocking revelation* Buck appearing from behind the wall! The scorned lover! And he tucked Chris into bed! Eddie calls Buck a miracle worker! The lighting is warm and suggestive! I am not supposed to view this at least a little bit romantically!?

🤔Christopher is feeling sad and insecure and he is mad at Himbo Dad #1 so he runs to Himbo Dad #2 bc he knows how to work the system

🤔In an episode titled "Parenthood," despite the fact that Buck is not a parent, they really do be putting him in situations to share his Big Opinions on parenting, usually in tandem with Eddie? @Tim share your location I just wanna talk

🤔Treasure Hunt aka How To Pine Quietly For Your Best Friend and Instead Disguise It As Petty Jealousy, written by Eddie Diaz

🤔*slow, deep breath* Eddie got shot in broad fucking daylight but wait Buck is there too? Oh and you're gonna splatter him with Eddie's blood in a moment that is so perversely intimate and then you're gonna utilize the music in the scene to illustrate how Buck and Eddie are caught in this one moment together separate from literally the rest of the world? Okay cool cool cool cool cool cool cool —

🤔Wait wait Eddie REACHES for Buck????

🤔You're telling me Eddie fights off the sweet relief of unconsciousness to make sure Buck isn't hurt?

🤔They really let Buck say "Just stay with me" and "I need you to hang on" Like That and Eddie turns his head to look at Buck, the last thing he sees before the sweet void takes him????

🤔Buck said "I know what's best for Christopher" this whole entire episode and not a single person found this surprising

🤔Buck and Taylor kiss and Eddie's comatose gay heart says, "miss me with that straight shit" and wakes up immediately

🤔Eddie waits to video chat with Chris until Buck is in the room and also Ana girl where'd you go? I thought this was your sERioUs bOyFRiEnD

🤔Eddie Diaz said he values and appreciates and loves his best friend and he is going to make it everybody's problem *changes will*

🤔"You act like you're expendable, but you're wrong" are actual words between these two men that actually played on screens everywhere at 8:57pm EST on FOX

🤔The very last plot-focused scene of the season (we do not count the montage however it is very cute) is this moment bw Buck and Eddie.

If you, too, realized you became desensitized to the literal soulmate narrative between these two, consider yourself vibe checked!

[clatterbane]

Just got back a while ago from my first trip out on the bus since I came home! And of course the first as a wheelchair user. (The first since masks became mandatory on public transport, for that matter, and that went into effect in June. 😑)

It wasn't a very long or complicated trip today, but I'm still both glad to have gotten out somewhere like a normal human being, and exhausted!

Today's main objective? The last scheduled flu shot clinic of the season at the GP's. Which is a straight shot up the road, with no bus changes or anything. (One of the reasons I chose to go back with them, actually: basic accessibility! Besides just being one of the only couple of options AFAICT where we're supposed to be in their catchment area.)

They had a pretty good socially distanced vaccination production line set up, and that went smoothly enough that we were headed out of there maybe 5 minutes after joining the (short) line. This time, I even remembered to give them the arm that I haven't primarily been sleeping on! 😊

I was also hoping to get a couple of other paperwork things taken care of by the office while I was there, but reception was completely closed today. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Guess we'll have to go back during the plague-limited specified one hour a day to get that dealt with.

I still need to show them my expired passport and hope they don't look too closely or care ID to get properly signed up for the online appointment/prescription system, and also some code for the general NHS patient account login.

I also need to hand in a form to be signed for the NHS prescription charge medical exemption card. (Which is due for renewal every 5 years, because reasons. My previous one ran out.) England is the only part of the UK which even still has the essentially copay on prescriptions at all. It's currently £9.15 per item, which doesn't sound like much to someone from the US but I'm sure can pose a hardship for a lot of people who are not eligible for various exemptions. It's thankfully not really a problem for us, but I'll be glad to get prescriptions for free again anyway.

Once you do receive an exemption certificate, you can at least get a refund for any prescription charges you've paid over the last 3 months I think month. [ETA: They're supposedly issued backdated a month from the time the application is received.] We already have one refund form to submit, for £54.90, with more due soon. 🙄 Hopefully Mr. C can take another long lunch this coming week, so we can head back to the doctor's and hopefully get that application form to them, besides trying to get those logins set up.

I was very glad to have the practical and moral support with him coming along today, btw. Hopefully I can start getting out on my own again before too long, but today I really did need the support and help! Doctors' offices are scary places, y'all--besides "just" figuring out the logistics of getting out and about in the chair.

Anyway, after getting the flu shot, we headed to the nearby Sainsbury's on foot/wheels to pick up a few things before getting back on the bus toward home. Including some late lunch for him to have at home. I also wanted to stop by their pharmacy to hand in a somewhat pressing repeat prescription I forgot to ask for last time. (More insulin needles! 😬)

It had been as long since I was in any grocery store that wasn't the small one right up the street, as since I last went out on the bus. Though I was maybe pathetically excited to stop by Sainsbury's, I managed to somewhat control the amount of stuff I grabbed. 😅 Still glad for the chance to look at and buy some useful things in person.

Also, a couple of impulse buys on the way out!

Some hot rotisserie chicken parts, because I was getting hungry and they looked good. At around eye level when I was rolling past that hot food case. 😁

The store deli is not about to guarantee that anything they're selling doesn't contain All The Allergens. But, I said fuck it. Living dangerously here!

Also, out of a machine on the way out: Milo! 🐶

A new friend. Actually, the main reason I even paused to look at the capsule machines today was because I had found doggies in little tins there before. Not disappointed this time! 😁 This one is flocked for a slightly fuzzy feel, which is new.

Anyway, I enjoyed getting out, even if it was for some stressful purposes. And I was glad to get home afterwards. Surprisingly tiring, though I probably shouldn't be that surprised by now.

[chicagosfinest2021]

As someone who has been writing fanfiction for a long time...one of my biggest frustrations about the community is that you don't have to be a skilled writer to publish a story; you just need an account, lots of free time, and a vivid imagination.

A lot of "writers" are just projecting what THEY know or how THEY want a character to think, walk, talk, behave, etc. Like I get this is all pretend and supposed to be just for fun but at the same time...why so lazy with it? 😅

I know not everyone agrees but when I read a fanfic story and folks have characters saying and doing shit that is just BEYOND what would be considered believable, I immediately stop reading 😑

Part of the enjoyment of writing fanfiction for me personally is giving myself certain "boundaries" to work within; meaning yes I'm taking the story and the character into my own hands, but I want this to be in tandem with things I and the reader have actually seen them say/do. But I guess for other people the draw comes from having 0 rules and limitations and making characters say and do whatever they want, even when it's completely OUT of character 🙄 (They're basically creating a whole new original character and slapping the actual characters name on it).

Which they're free to do, as long as I don't have to read their work. I'll check out after the 1st paragraph.

Why tf do they have shuri talking like she's from New York in these fan fics. Like she would not be calling the reader a "Dumb ass bitch" please stop😭

Wait what pause!!! Hold up! Ik Shuri would not talk like that. It feels racial like with making colored girls talk with their hands, smacking their lips while chewing gum, lip gloss, acrylic nails and making them rude. It needs to stop honestly

[classicbarbie]

not a single elina x glee fic on ao3, but there's 3 different kinds of bibble smut time to log off 😐