#i stopped myself from blabbering too much about this tho lol

[phffuntimes]

Nothing will ever change my mind on the fact that the “Her anger is my anger,” line should've been about fear. Not only does it make more thematic sense for both Fugo and Sheila as characters, but I generally don't believe anger is much of a defining trait for either of them, and I'm actually sick of it in Fugo's case. He’s nowhere NEAR as angry or as IntelligentTM as ppl make him out to be, so can we PLEASE look beyond what we’re told about this character and focus on what we’re shown??

[arklayraven]

Spoilers for Asmo-Chan Overindulges card

I gotta kinda vent/rant about this...And yes I will be mentioning Solomon in this. So you have been warned.

Also keeping properly untagged and reblogs off for obvious reasons...

Won't lie, I dislike seeing Asmo drink a lot and becoming like this...I love him to bits. He's my everything and I just want him happy and doing what he loves. But I sadly have a line I don't like crossed, and that's people drinking a lot and getting drunk, especially around me.

I know this is just part of Asmo's character, hell even Lucifer indulges a little(okay a lot) on drinking too much until he's just a blabbering love fool desperate for MC's love and attention. But even that side of Lucifer, I don't like much...

I mean when Luci said he loved me while drunk...It triggered me, and made me really upset. because I had someone do same to me in the past but that love to me ended up not being genuine in the end...

As stated before, I don't like it because of personal bad experiences...But guess I'll add more to my reasons...I don't like dealing with people who are drunk, and get too emotional too from it, because it honestly puts me on edge and all...Like some can be total drunk sweethearts yeah, but others...Like Solomon for example from that one time in NB...can come off so unsettling, hurtful, scary and controlling.

Like I don't like this side to Asmo much...I won't deny it, but I'll take this any day than dealing with what I had to deal with from Solomon again. Like that moment with Solomon triggered me, lol, and I don't want to deal with that again...

Then there's more to say, when it comes to Asmo...I'm gonna make some guesses here and all. But here's what I just thought of...

Asmo seems to drink more if the option is there, when he starts to feel self conscious of himself, and possibly of his relationship with MC. (as shown after he increased his drinking after he thought Mammon was flirting with MC) If he feels things aren't going his way or is fearful of possible hurt, rejection or all coming soon. Then he'll resort to drinking to run away from the feelings and all. What better way to numb the pain or ignore your feelings than drinking right?

Well...sadly its not the answer obviously, and I do appreciate we get the options in the devilgram here shown, to tell Asmo he's drinking too much. Or he's had enough, etc. Like that's love to me, to be there to take care of your dear one, when you know they've clearly reached their limit or went beyond it, and to be there to stop them and take care of them.

I can't blame Asmo for going to just lengths when he starts to feel those negative emotions though. I don't drink alcohol, will never will for clear reasons. But I don't deny I do resort to drinking more coffee than I should, when I start to feel too upset and all. Does it do anything to help? No. But I like to fool myself I guess into thinking its comforting me, when in reality I know I'm just hurting myself more than helping myself... (honestly shout out to Asmo for telling me i'm drinking too much coffee and he's been growing concern...been trying to learn to cut it down now.)

...I gotta talk about Solomon again, lol, its just bothering me...

I'm just thinking about that night he and Asmo made a pact together. He knew Asmo wasn't okay, and was drinking too much. Yet instead of showing care and concern over him. He just was first annoyed by Asmo just seeking out some comfort and someone to listen to him vent/rant. But then started to have interest in Asmo after he learned Asmo was Lucifer's brother...and well...we know what happens after that...

I just hate it...Asmo deserved better...Deserved someone who showed much concern and love to him when he was getting in that state or found like that. Thankfully, MC, if you choose it that is, can be that person finally Asmo deserves in his life. I'm grateful for that from the writers at least...

There's more I'm sure I want to talk about but lost my train of thoughts. So stopping here. lol

[bluecloudious]

Here's a little rant about Kits and Zanaz canon, cause I have quite a few thoughts that I dunno what else to do with and my head was aching really bad (and I wanted to get smth done), so I decided to share some of the ones that I've been debating for a while (It's pretty long, be warned):

The TL;DR is just the thought names, I guess.

Thought nr 1: They are 100 percent a couple, even in the first comic I posted of them.

I've been thinking about this a lot, whether they were just best friends who had crushes on one another, or if they were just straight up a thing and, yeah. They're just a couple and have been for a while. The written story is now the AU where Zani chickened out of confessing his feelings for so long that he finally was given a deadline. Comics are the canon and in that canon, they got together shortly after becoming agents. Zani occasionally flirts with other people, but that's just kinda a part of his personality and Kits has grown used to it. Their shipname is Kitzan.

Thought nr 2: Kits has no self-confidence.

In the meeting comic I tried to make it a bit noticeable how unhappy he is with himself, but even after transitioning, that fact has only slightly changed. He is his preferred gender now, but he still isn't confident at all about his looks, his voice or what he says, despite how much Zanaz tries to convince him that he's fine. The only thing Zanaz has managed to stop Kits from doing is actually being self-destructive aka Kits starved himself for a while (also hinted at in the comic). That's why he's way chunkier now- cause his body stopped trusting him and gained fat afterwards. All of this isn't really visible or audible in any of the comics, because Kits isn't vocal about it at all. Zanaz is the only person who really even knows it/cares about it. It's also the base for his mostly detail-less design compared to Zani- he's trying not to stick out.

Thought nr 3: They both have a body count

Yeah, they've both killed before, which, for the world they live in, isn't really surprising. It was all in self-defence, don't worry. The amount of rogue agents and grunts that decide to deviate in a violent way is a pretty big percent, so they've had to encounter quite a few of them. Zanaz' preferred weapon is of course the handgun/glock and is the more experienced/lethal of the two. Kits on the other hand is more proficient with knives, his main weapon being a shaving knife he got from Zani. He hasn't had to use it much, but the few times he has, we're pretty desperate. Zanaz also has a body count in the other sense too, but you could probably tell that much already.

Thought nr 4: I still do not think they'll have a happy ending

Sorry, but the happy ending Kits and Zanaz I drew are just a part of an AU as well. There is no malicious reason for why I think they'll die. They just happen to get the short end of the stick, just like most members of the A.A.H.W. We are talking about an agency that has at least three(four if you count that one incident with 2bdamned) very proficient people constantly killing staff. There are so many deaths that they have to use clones, for pete's sake! The amount of time they've already managed to be alive for is quite impressive (I imagine about 3 years).

Thought nr 5: Zanaz is even more protective of his inner feelings than Kits is

Even though Zanaz is very blunt and honest about most things, even some considered private info to most, he is not actually open about how he feels. He hides his negative emotions as much as he possibly can, even from Kits. (This was briefly explored in the written story, also.) The only reason Kits knows this, is because he's caught Zani crying to himself in less visited areas of their main facility, once or twice. Even then he wouldn't say what's wrong, that's how stubborn he is. All Kits could really do when this happened, was hug him and pat his head.

Fun facts that I didn't know how to categorize:

Zanaz is a dog person and Kits is a cat person. They combine to become bird people. (Yes, this is my excuse to draw dog boy Zani at some point.)

Zanaz' and Kits' personalities are based off myself. Of course in an amplified way, but yeah, I relate to them a lot. (Others have claimed to relate as well, which is most pleasant.)

They get their shade colors from RGB. Regular agents have red, Zanaz has green and Kits has blue.

I occasionally draw them during my free time! Most of those pictures I will not be posting to Tumblr, however. Some cause they're just kinda sketches that I don't really see a point in posting and others are just straight up not Tumblr appropriate.

Kits and Zanaz had not dated anyone before each other. Kits cause of insecurity and Zanaz because he didn't want any commitment. They are still very loyal to each other, tho.

The main song I listen to whenever I draw Zanaz is Left Boy- Security Check. Kits doesn't have a song that I listen to and get his vibe, but I am still looking.

Bit of a bonus tangent too:

I'm sorry that most of these are negative. The funni bois are, ya know, funny, and I tend not to make media about them that isn't funny, but I wanted to blabber about how I think they are when not performing a punchline.

When I design characters, I never only think about the positive personality traits. I tend to instead think about what the negatives are, so I can figure out, how they handle it. How they cope and how they've grown from their negative experiences/emotions enchants me.

I've said this before, Kits and Zanaz got created on a whim, basically unintentionally. But, I grew attached to the two idiot agents with different color shades. Thus, I wanted to know more about them.

I think, by now, I've figured them out for the most part. (Thankfully I don't have to give them any family or nothing, cause they're both clones.)

Also, their color scheme is final. If you've noticed, they're shades have changed shade over time. Zanaz' got brighter, while Kits' got darker. The suit color is a random shade every time, cause I just choose a dark shade of gray via slider. Hair color hasn't changed at all, as far as I know. Only Good Ending Zani has darker hair, cause he had it colored.

And, speaking of the Good Ending AU, I don't think I know what to do with the concept. I try to think more into it, but my brain blanks. If anyone wants to draw or write about it, I would be completely fine with it. Might even consider it canon, if none of it conflicts with the established canon. Good Ending AU takes place in the far future, after all.

But, yeah, I think that's it. I'm kinda honestly surprised if anyone actually reads all of this, lol. I hope you found my long-ass tangent about my two silly gay MadCom OCs interesting :)))

[bethd0456]

hellooo lovely! i loved reading your response to my last ask - apparently tumblr is messing up my asks bc a lot of them haven’t been going through :( but let’s hope this one does! i’ve been seeing that you watch cherry magic, and it’s one of my favourite shows at the moment!! 💘 who’s your favourite character? mine is kurosawa personally, i relate so much to him and his gayness. also udon chan, the cutest little cat! what did you think of the last ep, wasn’t it so cute!!! (1/2)

i hope you’re doing well!!! i also wanted to ask what your favourite shows and ships are! i already have a vague idea formulating just by browsing through your blog and over our shared love of cherry magic, but i’d looove to hear your thoughts and your favourites!! wishing you the bestest day! 💘 - your secret santa (2/2)

Hiiiii!!!! I hope life is treating you well!

Omg I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it! I hope you're ready for this MASSIVE answer and you don't get too bored reading this one!

CHERRY MAGIC!!!!!! It instantly became a comfort show for me, as it did for many others!

ADACHIADACHIADACHIADACHI. Adachi is 100% my fave. I never fully understood what a comfort character was. I was like, "yeah! I love Tine also!" But. Adachi is the definition of comfort for me. I see so much of myself in him! Everyone sees him and is like "babie. Must protecc." And honestly? Me too. How can one character be so damn CUTE??!?!? One of my favourite moments is him seeing Kurosawa after the almost-kiss. He just like, sees him, and gets so panicked 🥺 the way his arms just flail about makes me smile like an idiot.

But like, on a deeper level, this drama makes me believe I'm worthy of love. The idea that someone like Kurosawa could be THAT infatuated with you, even though you're an awkward virgin lmao. The point of watching these dramas is to get lost in a story, right? See a situation you want so badly but you know will never realistically happen? The entire premise of the show is just really enticing to me. I am Adachi, Adachi is me. Also, the thing he said in ep6 about not having a clear dream in life? Yeah. I felt that. I'm so envious of people who have passions they work so hard for, it gives them a form of purpose. Like Adachi, sometimes I feel like I'm living in a "daze". I feel like I don't really have any specific passions or skills that I want to develop into a career. Sometimes I just wish I had ambition. Adachi makes me feel so seen and like I'm not the only person who feels like this. The kinds of characters that usually make good protagonists are characters with a clear goal/passion. In most shows this obviously really works, but I can never relate to them personally. It's really special for me to see a character who's similar to me in this way.

Kurosawa is such an amazing character too!!!!! His gay little heart 🥺 on another level, he's just so?? Respectful??? 7. YEARS. 7 years of pining and he holds himself back so well!! He's been waiting for this relationship for so long but is so patient, willing to take things slowly for Adachi. He flirts shamelessly (as he should) but never to the point where Adachi was too uncomfortable.

He cares so much about Adachi :(. But also, even before he liked Adachi, he could tell he was uncomfortable with the drinking thing, so he DOWNED the wine lmao. Clearly he's just a lovely person all round who's really socially aware.

As for other characters:

• Udon my baby!!!! The cutest cat ever!! I love animals sm :(((

• Tsuge's chaotic energy is iconic

• Minato a lovely little dance machine :))

• Rokaku deserves the world, my excitable kiss interruptor :(((

• Fujisaki my love! She's so soft and cute!! Also ace coded how iconic

I ADORED ep8!!! I LIVE for established Adasawa! Adachi coming out to Tsuge :((( I'm so proud of Adachi coming to terms with his feelings and being confident enough to share his relationship with his closest friend. Coming out is not easy and he did so well 🥺

Adachi and Tsuge are so useless bless them 😂 Kurosawa really said "well I guess I have to take these two socially awkward disasters under my wing." Adachi and Tsuge are such a chaotic duo, I love that they can communicate just by touching each other, and omg when Kurosawa said his name Tsuge was "wait maybe I know everything about you already" and if that isn't friendship idk what is

Also Kurosawa making up a poem in his head about Adachi???? Peak romance. Also iconic. I'M A SUCKER FOR HAND HOLDING SCENES SO I DIED. "I like him. I like him. I like him!!" HOW CUTE CAN YOU GET FJKHDSHSKSK

I also got another arm flailing moment when Kurosawa almost got the wrong idea about Adachi and Tsuge!! CAN ADACHI STOP BEING SO CUTE MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT. How on earth his boyfriend is still alive I have no idea.

There are so many other shows and ships I love. I feel like I'll probably miss some, but here we go. These aren't rankings at all, just like, lists lol.

Show list:

1. 2gether

This show means so much to me. It was the first time I watched a bl week by week and it made it so much more special?? I valued scenes so much more than when I binge shows and they would like, look at each other and I'd have a heart attack. They made the first part of my quarantine bearable bc I always had something to look forward to every Friday. I actually really enjoyed quarantine overall as an introvert (not to be insensitive about the literal deaths the pandemic has caused), but I really enjoyed constantly thinking about how long it was until Friday. I'm massively emotionally attached to all of the characters in this show you have no idea. Every single one. The found family of it all,, the way all of the characters have relationships. Still2gether did a phenomenal job of showcasing all of the unexpected but very welcome dynamics and relationships, platonic and romantic alike. I could blabber about this show for so long I'll spare u for now

2. YYY

Is it well written? No. Did I enjoy it anyway?? You know it! I told you how much I love the found family trope. UGH. THIS FAMILY. Also, seeing the feminine side of the LGBT+ community represented positively warmed my heart. There needs to be more bls that do that! Celebrate femininity!! There's nothing wrong with being camp as fuck! It's so much fun!!! This show made me so happy :))

3. Start up

I'm currently obsessed. It's my first Kdrama and holy shit this is what the hype is about. The budget!! The acting! Top notch. On a sad note I really wish bls got that much funding behind them. My heart aches for a complicated story with fully developed characters and plotlines, that just happens to have a gay main couple/character. Wishful thinking for now at least. Anyways, I'm massively emotionally attached to Halmeoni and Jipyeong. Team Jipyeong all the way (even tho Dalmi's obviously gonna end up with Dosan, and I'm happy for them!). All I need is a happy ending for my darling Jipyeong. Please give him one. Also, if anything happens to Halmeoni I will WEEP.

4. Cherry magic is obviously here but I've ranted about that enough already 😂

5. 3 will be free

I would never have expected gmm to make a series like this! But they went and did THAT. Wild. It was such a healthy representation of a poly relationship. The themes of feminism were so well handled and powerful, the chemistry was off the CHARTS, I was hooked from start to finish! Time for a rewatch? I think so.

6. Feel good

Not an Asian drama, but still gay as FUCK. It's written by my wife Mae Martin who also stars in it, and I have to say, it blew me away. Story time!! My friend irl recommended it to me without saying it was Mae, so I was like "okay sure I'll put it on my to watch list I guess" without much motivation to watch it. But as soon as I found out it was Mae I watched it and I've never looked back lol. Once I finished I sent my friend a splurge of messages about my feelings. The series touches on issues like addiction, sexuality and gender. "I'm not a boy. I'm not even a girl. I'm like a failed version of both." That shit HURT.

There's a scene near the end which has really stayed with me. So Mae's character is a comedian and she does a set making jokes about the stuff that happened in the series and oh my GOD. The way I CRIED. It made me realise that people who make jokes about their experiences are using humour as a coping mechanism and when people say "Haha I have daddy issues isn't it funny" we have to remember to be respectful. It's never okay to make jokes about someone else's trauma. Don't make a big deal of it but just don't be a dick.

Anyways I could go on but would 100% recommend this series!

7. HIStory 2 crossing the line

My first bl! This series is the reason I'm so obsessed with bl lmao. The main couple are so soft :( this little series will always hold a special place in my heart!

8. Sotus

My first gmm series, we've come a long way. I miss Kong and Arthit :(

9. Dark blue kiss

Such a brilliant series. I trust P'Aof (director) with my life. This series touches on issues that are so important and deserve to be talked about so much more in bls. This is what happens when you let LGBT people tell LGBT stories! They do it with such care and love!! One of my favourite lines is "I may like men, but I'll never like your brother." One of my biggest let peeves is "I don't like men, I only like x." Like, I get the business behind it, they don't want to make the character gay to make them available for girls to fantasise about. Which is disgusting. But Mork really said "no. ❤" and I LOVE IT.

10. The shipper

I could go on and on about how underrated I think this series is. This series took over from 2gether on Fridays, and while I didn't think about this series constantly like I did with 2gether, this series made my quarantine brighter. Fridays meant I was gonna laugh at least once and forget about life just for a short while. The humour in this series is so fucking dumb lmao, but I'm here for it.

I've seen people talk about the shipper as a bl but I disagree. I think it's better described as a series with bl aspects. The main themes are friendship, family, dealing with loss, respecting boundaries of people you admire, and one of the main messages is about making sure the people close to you know how much they mean to you. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the series is over the top humour, but by the end of it I was personally really attached to the characters and their feelings. Overall I really enjoyed this series but I don't see anyone properly talk about it :(

11. Gaya sa pelikula

A series made by gay people for gay people. Shows like this are so important. This show really healed my soul with how brilliant the representation was :(( "remember we talked about microagressions" the way that means Vlad is constantly educating Karl about LGBT stuff, UGH. SO GOOD. Also this show has the most realistic representation of a crush I've ever seen lmao, soft Vlad is the best Vlad.

12. My engineer

My happy little Saturday show :( I miss the shit writing, shit acting and soft story of this series so much. I'm so fond of this series, I watched it after the horrible ep12 of 2gether and it really made me happy. I'm looking forward to season 2, but Ramking's novel goes DOWNHILL from here on. I know tricreation wouldn't allow the final chapter's scenes, but the entire story is so problematic and unenjoyable :(. The only valid scene is King's coming out scene but that's literally it. And the collar scene can stay lmao.

13. Oxygen

Another soft saturday series! I love this series so much, all of the couples are so bloody healthy and it makes me so happy. The communication is amazing!! THIS is how you show healthy relationships!!!

14. The gifted

S1 was so amazing!! I loved all of it! The only part of s2 we'll talk about is timegracethird. Time best boy!! Grace a feminist queen! When future Grace said they would be friends for a long time that made me so happy :(( also pangwave canon

15. Until we meet again

So I talked about the healthy relationships in oxygen. But uwma really showed the healthiest relationship ever. DeanPharm are just the softest little humans :( I would die for Pharm. He's the closest I got to a comfort character before Adachi. I just have to PROTECT HIM. My motherly instincts really kick in when I see him lmao.

The storyline of this series is just breathtaking. And the ending? I don't think I've ever cried that much. At all. It was so fucking beautiful 🥺

16. My gear and your gown

I really liked this show! Honestly I don't think I'll ever rewatch it but I definitely enjoyed it. The way Pai just seemed to breathe freely for the first time when his parents accepted his sexuality :(((( my baby :( also purefolk were brilliant

Ship list:

1. Saratine

These two are the definition of romance. They mean the fucking world to me. The fact that their story is apparently gonna be continued in some form makes me so. So. Happy. I cannot begin to describe it. My bet is on a special episode and ugh I'm so EXCITED.

2. Aini

Thonhonchonlatee in general is enjoyable but I don't like Thon at all. It's such a shame bc I was so excited for Khaotung and Podd to be in a series together :((. BUT. Aini have grabbed my heart. I knew they would bc miketap are brilliant, but wow. They're so gay my little babies :( miketap are just so natural and comfortable to watch. I love their chemistry so muuuuuuch

3. Sunmork

Coffee boyfriends :( I miss them so bloody much

4. Ramking

One of my fave ships. As I mentioned, I'm apprehensive about s2, but s1 ramking is such a beautiful story. It's just about 2 boys falling in love, no complications. Plant boy who's afraid of dogs falls in love with quiet boy who loves dogs but is afraid of children. Iconic. Also chemistry outsold, I THINK ABOUT THE KISS CONSTANTLY. When I mentioned the acting is shit in this series (shit is harsh, I mean awkward), I did not mean Perth and Lay in the slightest. They really nailed their roles and I loved it.

5. Professor Layton x Claire

You 100% won't get this reference but I grew up with the Professor Layton games and holy shit do they hold up. They're so amazingly written with beautiful stories and the most lovable characters in the world. Layton's intellect, loving nature and surprising athleticism are admirable. Adachi is the character I relate to most, but if I was gonna choose a character to comfort me irl, Layton's your man. His voice is so comforting by nature. I'm blabbering at this point but the point is him and Claire are the only het pairing that matters.

These are just the ships that I felt should be separate from their shows. I love all of the ships from the shows I mentioned.

Oof this got horrifically long, I haven't had a proper chance to rant about most of these shows so I really let it out lol. I hope you've watched at least some of these shows and I didn't just rant to u about 12 shows you've never heard of 😂

I hope you have a wonderful day love!!!!

[hellreads]

Chapters: 19/19 Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Reader, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Original Female Character(s), Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Reader, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Original Female Character(s) Characters: Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Park Jimin (BTS), Kim Taehyung | V, Jeon Jungkook, Reader Additional Tags: Smut, Gratuitous Smut, Multiple Partners, Multiple Pairings, Multiple Orgasms, BDSM, Dom/sub, Sensory Deprivation, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Sexual Roleplay, Tantric Sex, Light Bondage, Nude Photos, Master/Pet, Social Media, Oral Sex, Come Swallowing, thigh riding, Dom Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Foreplay, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Control, Handcuffs, Vibrators, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Discovery

Summary:

You've been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen's Club.

The Gentlemen’s Club, wow the MC here is probably the character I relate to the most in all of the fics I have ever read in this fandom, this fic hit home, it was so easy to get lost and take over the role of MC, her life was so similar to mine I lost myself, my identity, the brightness I used to have and share with the people around me all because of a boy who never knew how to treat a woman, relationships are a two way street you cannot just give and give until you’re an empty vessel, always save some for yourself - that’s what I should’ve told myself years ago. As painful as it was to remember while reading - this addressed concerns such as self-esteem and mental health issues, how to deal with a break-up that left you broken or damaged, how to open up again and embrace the opportunity to start anew and not be a brat and shut it off. this masterpiece gave hope in the form of the Dominant Gentleman Jung Hoseok, the idea of a gentlemen’s club is exciting, to be honest, but same with MC I wouldn’t dare try it out, she was lucky to have T though, she was an angel for introducing the site, because of this particular adventure T made her sign up for, things changed for the better, she started becoming herself again, loving and embracing every bit of her without holding back - not totally her old self tho but a better one.

Well, how do I start this without spoiling everything here? I was looking forward to straight-up smut with all the warnings/additional tags included I was like yeah sure I would love to read how the author would write all kinks included especially tantric sex, it may not be the filthy smut I was expecting but damn I was lost for words while reading each scenario and how the kink interactions took place, I say it was tastefully written and gives justice to the title of their club. I love how Tantric Sex and Voyeurism helped her get into her element (take note of a few tips coming from the boys), then came Roleplaying and she just let go of herself and didn’t give a single care in the world as long as she has Hoseok with her, followed by Dom/Sub interactions which is probably my favorite, hitting two birds with one stone and the Sensory Deprivation with a few things here and there just read all of it so you’ll have yourself lost in it as well (*sigh* everything is just rushing back to me, If I don’t hold back I might spill everything! + the other tags I won’t talk about much because it’s better to dive into it than just dipping your feet by reading my ramblings) + Author wasn’t kidding when she placed that gratuitous smut tag there! Now let me roll into a huge fluffball by saying the romance in here is what every woman would want, though she’s technically a client, things have blossomed between the pair, and their dom/sub dynamic is also applicable in other situations, and I do agree the doms do get empowered by their subs, they won’t have power/control unless you submit, now, I’m telling you to prepare yourself for all the romance laced in this fic, you will be smiling and feeling all the ways Hoseok spoiled her also helped her move forward in life and start to be herself again, in return, she unknowingly helped him as well and made him learn to let go and love again, he’s the best y’all I’m not even exaggerating, if someone does that to me, I’ll ask them to marry me lol (jk I’m not that clingy and interested in marriages - yet - unless you’re Hoseok) oof spilling a little bit of my favorite - it was when he went out for a few days that I will never forget, if a man shows much effort and interest in you like that (but know his intentions first okay) give them a chance and if everything works well, maybe never let go? hmmm I think I’m now diabetic from all his sweet acts please, somebody give me metformin! Oh also look out for your heart because you’re in for a rollercoaster ride of emotions, the transition will be pleasant I promise you! *sigh* I just fell in love with this fic that’s what I really wanted to scream from the very beginning of this non-sense blabbering, I’m proud to not have spoil much of the great stuff here because the element of surprise is essential. anyway, idk what else to say without oversharing so I’ll cut it right here! P.S: Just learn to let go, stop torturing/blaming yourself for things you have no control over, life is too short to live under a rock, live your best life out there and who knows maybe one day you’ll get to meet the Jung Hoseok of your life who will give you everything without holding back, he will be all yours as you are his. | 🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒 

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Unrequited

Next up, @infantbluee, @kallie-flower, @nori-wings and @thiefofblood (Souly on Discord) came to answer questions and spread the love for their Resbang, Unrequited! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: How did you guys come up with this idea? I remember you threw a ton of ideas around and settled on this one. Can you take us through the process? >:)

kallieflower: Oh god. We went through SO many different ideas. We wrote like what? 40k for our first idea before we scrapped that?

b l u e: Then like 30k for the next one that we also scrapped.

kallieflower: WE KEPT TRYING TO WRITE SHORT THINGS BUT IT DIDN’T WORK. Soma just does not work as shortfic.

b l u e: Even our final bang ended up being a 40k two-shot lmao.

Q: So what was it about this final idea that made u guys decide, YES, this is it???

kallieflower: The first idea was a Madoka Magica AU that exploded into a mess because magical girl worlds take a loooooottttt of work. The second fic also exploded into something big.

b l u e: We were going to stick with it though. We were. We had it all ready for check-in and everything. But then like two days before, kallie went, "okay so I love our fic idea and all but what about this." Me, on three hours of sleep: "I effing hate you." Then we stumbled through our first 3k and sent it to the mods like the gremlins we are.

kallieflower: We didn’t expect it to get so big either but c’est la vie. Chloe almost killed me like 48293783 times during the process but I think we managed alright.

b l u e: You're lucky I love you so much.

Q: Did you guys start writing straight from the beginning of the fic or did you write a specific scene first?

kallieflower: Actually we didn’t start from the beginning haha! Or well, our idea didn’t start from a plot. We just wanted to write Maka cursed. We wanted to write her with no inhibitions in love, like she might’ve been had she not been so hurt by her parents’ separation. And since there are witches in the SE universe, we had fun with that instead of making it an AU.

Q: Do you write linearly at all or did you jump around a lot?

b l u e: Surprisingly yes. Aside from my dream sequences.

kallieflower: Your dream sequences were our pit stops. We just had to actually do the writing to get there.

b l u e: Hahaha our writing process was.... Unique.

kallieflower: That’s one way to put it lmao.

nori-wings: It was a mess, but we love it.

b l u e: WE are a mess so it's just us in fic form.

kallieflower: God yeah. For one thing, this fic was like 90% chloe with me just making her do crazy things I wanted to happen.

nori-wings: And 5% of what the artists wanted to happen.

b l u e: YEAH hahaha that was kallie too tbh. She was like, "me as a witch would not understand anything about my magic at all and would curse people for kicks, so let's do that."

kallieflower: We would have a general plot of how we wanted to go and what points we wanted to hit. Chloe would start to write it, but then I would be like “WAIT WHAT ABOUT THIS.” And then she would pretend she thought I was a total nuisance but we all know she’s too soft and sweet to ever say no to anything. Also our artists were such a LOVELY help too.

b l u e: We wanted as much of their input as possible and we wanted to make this as much of a collab as we could. The train scene at the beginning of the third chapter was all nori because she was mad at us for only torturing Soul and wanted Maka to cry too.

Q: Nori/Souly did you have a favorite piece of art to make?

the monkey chain (soul): The skating scene was my fave. I also accidentally changed the part in the fic with the skating since I didn't ask what kind of skates they were supposed to be kfljgdf.

b l u e: LMAO it's our fault though!!!! We were Too Slow.

nori-wings: Black*Star dragging Soul and Maka is my favorite, it was super fun to draw.

b l u e: When you sent the first wip of that, I think I cried for days. It was better than my dreams. You were both so fast GOD, it takes me seventeen years just to sketch a pic.

kallieflower: For real tho. We don’t deserve artists.

nori-wings: They are exaggerating, it was a quick sketch that I made on a post it lol. It took me a week to draw it in digital.

the monkey chain (soul): I had free time since we moved and were without internet for a night so I had a ton of time to finish my pic.

Q: Did you have trouble meeting the deadline?

kallieflower: Trouble is putting it lightly lmao. We died. Many times.

b l u e: I don't trust fast writers. Clearly they are superhuman. It wouldn't have been hard if we didn't spend so much time drowning in memes and shitposts that we neglected to write.

kallieflower: I blame the internet.

Q: Were there any scenes that you guys really struggled with writing?

b l u e: The beginning, definitely. Everything else flowed out pretty quickly, but the beginning made us want to cry into our pillows and smash our keyboards.

kallieflower: I think there was a period of time where Chloe was like, “I will physically pay you money to write this scene so I don’t have to.” But yeah, the beginning scenes were definitely hardest to write. I think we rewrote them like a million times.

Q: Nori and Souly, was there a part of your art that was trickier to do?

nori-wings: I think painting Soul and Maka's kiss, because I wanted to use as few colors as possible and I played a lot with shading, or at least I tried haha.

the monkey chain (soul): Uhhhh not really for me? My pieces were relatively simple and probably the most issue I had was drawing Maka's skates and figuring out what Soul would be wearing.

b l u e: I cried when we got paired with souly.

kallieflower: Chloe literally fangirled to hell over getting souly as our second artist. And we were very lucky to get nori as our artist too because we already became really close friends through the zine and talked all the time. Our resbang just gave us an excuse to move all our blabber to a personal server lmao.

nori-wings: Yeah, they asked me to be something like a beta but I ended up being their artist.

kallieflower: We joked about it beforehand too and were SO happy it happened. We were so blessed with support and love this year. We never would’ve finished without the help of our artists and betas.

nori-wings: They are making it sound nice, but we wouldn't let them drop out.

kallieflower: LMFAOOOOOO. Nori likes to be sassy but she’s one of the softest of us all

b l u e: We legitimately would've dropped out if not for our artists.

kallieflower: “Do it for our artists” was our mantra through the whole process when we wanted to quit. Peer pressure makes diamonds, maybe.

b l u e: I mean, it didn't feel like that when we were bullshitting our way through our next 5k before each deadline, but it be like that sometimes.

Q: What was your favourite scene to write?

b l u e: My favorite to write was definitely the nightmare demon scene.

kallieflower: Because she’s a sadist and likes angst. Chloe likes to make people feel pain so her favorite scenes were definitely the angsty ones.

b l u e: FDSJFKDSF

Q: For errbody: what do you feel like you improved/grew in this resbang, writing and arting-wise??

kallieflower: For me, I definitely grew in writing skills even though I didn’t end up writing much of this bang (chloe, bless your soul for carrying me this year lmao) because chloe is SO GOOD at writing that it made me want to be better, learn better, do better.

b l u e: Kallie made me work harder than I ever have my entire life and it paid off SO MUCH. I very much only ever write ventfics.

the monkey chain (soul): I feel like I Peaked with Maka's outfit in the skating picture, like I don't pride myself in outfit design much these days but Maka's outfit came out so good. I didn't expect it.

Q: Were there any parts of Unrequited that really pushed you out of your comfort zone?

b l u e: Writing with someone else was such an experience.

kallieflower: We definitely had to compromise a lot in terms of writing. Like I wanted Soul to walk in on Kid touching Maka’s scar and Chloe immediately said “fine, but only if we make Kid a gardener” and if that isn’t a super fair trade off, idk what is. Chloe and I work so well together so that was easy. And we like a lot of the same things.

b l u e: There was a little adjustment [with adapting to different writing styles] but not much, because despite what kallie says, she's actually so freaking smart and talented it actually makes my eyes water.

Q: If you had the time to do something differently, what would you do and why?

b l u e: Everything. Jk no but really. There's just a lot I wish we could've elaborated on. And more suffering to be had of course. I just wish we had more time to elaborate on Spirit and Maka's mom.

kallieflower: Oh god yeah. Maka did not get enough of a backstory in the manga or anime and that makes me sad always.

Q: What made you both decide on the outcome of the curse? Did the witch know how it was going to affect Kid?

b l u e: We actually knew the outcome from the very beginning when we decided what kind of curse it was.

Q: Okay SO one last question for the crew. What is next!!!! >:)

nori-wings: Next collab is me writing and Chloe as my artist. (She just doesn't know it.)

b l u e: FDHDJFKSDDSF

kallieflower: OMG PLS HAHAHA. I’d be all over that collab. Chloe is working on a soma longfic she won’t let me beta because she’s Secretive. And I am trying to work up the energy to use my keyboard again after the hell that was finishing Resbang.

Thanks to the crew for stopping by! Stay tuned for more transcripts!

[conoscenze]

⚡️ downthechicagoriver/archivieren, although we do have two aus we're already workin on lol feel free to mention any character combos you want!

fill-out // send me a ⚡️ and i’ll fill out for you / your muse— @downthechicagoriver — accepting.

i’m tagging the chicago muses because i know them a little better, and also because i’ve interacted with them more! (plus doing two blogs is my Death)

my first impression of your muse: very interesting!! at first, i didn’t realize they were set in the 1920′s, but when i did i was like... that’s such an interesting choice? i don’t know much about the 20′s yet but i do think you made a clever decision because that’s a very movimented decade. plus, from what i gathered, chicago is a city full of weird shit. muse-wise, i thought i was a little confused at first bc i didn’t truly understand them, even tho i had read their profiles... though i did find myself liking graham and finding thomas very controversial, especially given how different his attitude is from au to au. prior to interaction, i had like, 0 idea about theodore and edith,,, i’m gomen,,,my first impression of you: Mysterious. but cool. SOMEHOW, i didn’t feel too intimidated, and i was like, holy fuckin shit. another angst lord. (not derogatively, i just saw angst a lot around so i was like “looooooooooooooooooordie”) BUT! that didn’t stop me from tryying to reach out a bit. i didn’t know where the hell i wanted to go with your muses, frankly, but i was really glad about initiating about anything bc u seemed very cool! also it took me a while to figure out you were the mun behind archivieren like, “holy shit”.........  i’m such an idiot lolmy favorite thing about your muse:they all have their quirks. plus they’re all very veiled. like i could read a thousand times their pages but still not understand how the hell they became what they are now. like, especially theodore (also did thomas fuckin kill his parents or did he not i want to KNOW)---i only got snippets through interactions, and i honestly really wanna know more?? esp since the fact he managed to mesh with edith who is the COMPLETE opposite of him... it’s just so odd. i really wanna know more wtf.my favorite thing about you: dude you seem always hella swell, plus i’m not Afraid to bug you in the ims which is always a good sign, even if i don’t do it often i do send u messages which means that.... bruh, you’re good, like yes.would I ever consider shipping our muses: this is a literal question mark for me. i dunno? would it happen? here on your other blog? i don’t know. Let’s see how things go. between fujunk and thomas, i’m not 100% sure bc i’m a hoe for actual development so like ,, i doubt,,,, salice and theodore even less esp since he’s married. so far they are very interesting and nice friendships tho!! salice and theodore are kinda odd too, bc they’re... not exactly friends... but they like chatting, so they just stick together when they happen to encounter. plus the mutual suspicion and partial distrust makes everything more Tense.honorable mention for karmina nd madchen on archivieren; these two give me weird vibes. i like it.a plot I’d like to see between our muses: i would really, really be curious to see salice or marzanna interact with madchen properly, omg. marzanna especially!!! it’d be so weird? and maybe kinda angsty? i don’t know, but it’d be cool. as for the chicago gang---binch, i still want to work on the 20′s au with salice, theo and graham. you know what i’m blabbering aboutan AU I think would be interesting for our muses: perhaps, on achievieren, a fairytale-y AU for karmina, salice and adona? a 1800s au? hmmm. many choices. very vague, though. so i’m not entirely sure. as for the chicago gang, i’d say i’m curious to see them set in another time period entirely, like the... 80s, or the 90s, even. bc it’d be fun especially since necrologio, salice’s canon story, coincides with those time periods exactly lol

[jynsongxvii-blog]

Angeles   a l o n e

A/N: -uess who got sick after puking last friday! Yes, me. Yes, it sucked. BUT I’M GOOD NOW SO YAY. Not yay because I wrote this barely today tho :) Anyway, hope you enjoy it. [Challenge #5] Couldn’t get too much into details, very sorry about that. Getting sick didn’t help writing inspiration. Tonight I got it, just not enough time time to write everything. Still I tried however. Have more Jyn lol and forgive typos, not time for revisions. If you never read the first practice challenge/fic I wrote idk if this will be confusing? It kinda talks about jyn’s parents...so idk. Check it out here if you wanna refresh your mind.

Girls had been sneaking out of the palace in the last few weeks. I’d only ever done it with Dominoes, but that day I was ready to give Angeles a little of myself alone.

It had only taken asking Geoffrey to help me again. As always the old butler pretended to hate it, but he didn’t really hesitate to show me a way out and soon enough I found myself around the chatters of citizens at afternoon. I only hid my face under a baseball cap that in turn was covered by a hoodie. That seemed to be all the requirements needed for famous people to sneak around in movies if I added my new favorite sunglasses. I didn’t dare to consider myself seriously famous yet, but I’d received enough attention from magazines lately for cutting my hair and donating it to the hospital in our last assignment.

Some people debated about it being really sweet of me while others said it was just some fake altruist move to get attention. It was kind of a stupid argument considering them debating about it just created said attention, but I didn’t care. I hadn’t even planned it at all. It was nothing but a last minute decision. I figured if the media had it’s eyes on me I might as well take the chance to do something good. I’d received a letter from the nurse that had looked after me while I told the children my story and she said they’d received donations all over Illea, apparently other hospitals had too.

The country could keep debating on what my intentions had been. At least it served some good, whether the people behind said good gave their hair for the cause or for a trend. I had to get rid of my purple tips first, but thankfully never cutting my hair made it long enough that even after cutting the unusable tips my braid was useful. I had to admit when people asked me if my hair wasn’t heavy I considered it a ridiculous question, but with shorter hair I realized why they said it. My head did feel lighter, not to say having long hair was uncomfortable since you couldn’t tell the difference in weight, however.

I made my way through the crowd and spotted different places. Cafes, restaurants, stores and clubs. After a few hours I’d lost myself in the city, the good kind of lost though. My ears perked up at the sound of music and I found a small group of street musicians. It was simple music, but they were good, getting a few people to gather around, including me. I smiled at their enthusiasm playing, it was an upbeat song, sufficient for couples to joke around dancing. Some clapped and I hummed along, choosing the worse moment to leave my tips on their hat.

The violinist got in my way, grinning as he played. I raised an eyebrow at him and he stared at the group of people dancing, his expression becoming clear.

“Sorry, dancing isn’t my thing.” Not at the moment at least.

He gave me a pout and his sight focused on a girl practically jumping on her place as she stared at the couples dancing. She was adorable there was no denying that but…The violinist gave me a smirk somehow knowing I would cave in to the girl in bouncing ponytails. I sighed, taking my glasses off before offering the girl a hand. She gave her mother a questioning look for permission before accepting it with a squeal of excitement. She was even more adorable spinning around with me. I tried to make her twirl around and skipped along with her. In the end, my head got into the harmony of the music so much I started singing that. No real lyrics, just harmony as I hauled the girl up in my hip and spinned with her.

More people were drawn to or group as I danced on light feet, focusing mostly on the little girl as I sung, not even noticing the moment my hoodie fell back. All of the couples twirled around one last time a few steps away as the song came to an end and laughter echoed in the street as the crowd walked over to give the musicians tips, clapping more.

A hand pulled my arm as people clapped and whistled. I realized it was one of the other musicians. “You have a pretty voice Lady Jyn.”

I gulped, blushing as I realized the people were clapping at me too and that my disguise had been in vain in the end.

Surprisingly, I had to sign a few autographs and take pictures with some girls excited to meet one of Dom’s Elite members. The group of musicians insisted I should keep some of their profit, saying it wouldn’t have been that good a night without my help, but I declined saying it was better in their hands for now.

When things finally calmed down I was dragged into yet another awkward situation by a woman that had stayed in our audience for longer and stared at me like I was a ghost. She was clearly from a higher caste by the way she was dressed, stylish brown curls draped over her shoulder covered by expensive clothes. She didn’t seem as old as she probably was.

“That face was enough to get me suspicious,” she finally grinned, “being a Song made it even worse, but that voice...You have Becca’s voice too.”

My eyes widened at the name. That couldn’t be right. How could someone like her be related to my family in any way?

“You- You knew my mother?”

“Why would she hide being- Becca would have never hidden something like that from me...would she?” Her shoulders slumped at the thought, though I didn’t understand any of what she meant. She’d been practically blabbering confusing nonsense since we’d sat down at a bench. She’d mentioned my father too however, and mentioned too many details I’d heard my own dad say about my mom to confirm she wasn’t making stuff up. She actually knew my parents. “Unless...Oh they wouldn’t…. They wouldn’t go all that way to hide it!”

I blinked at her, wondering if maybe running away from there was an option, but she reached for my hands, squeezing gently, hopeful eyes searching my own. “Is your mother alive then? Was it another one of her crazy plans? Pretending to be sick?”

Being sick? An act?

“I-I’m sorry... I don’t know what you’re talking about, but my mother isn’t alive. She died after childbirth.” After I was born. It was always easier to say childbirth. I knew it wasn’t my fault and I couldn’t really miss her myself, but what she was...she was something to others. I used to think it was just my father--and that was enough to make saying it aloud uncomfortable--but now there was Marissa. This woman that claimed to be my mother’s best friend once upon a time. When apparently my mother was some sort of famous singer. One of my crazy dreams was my mother’s life and I’d never known. My mother had been a Two. Or so Marissa claimed.

The way her eyes looked down as she let go of my hands in disappointment made me tear up a bit. It felt like that time I’d cried in front of Kat. It had been a weird week, spending my birthday away from dad for the first time a few weeks before that and then seeing that kid in the hospital, Tim’s little brother. Both of them scared their mother wouldn’t get better.

I’d attempted to put myself in the little boy’s shoes in my conversation with Kat, but it reality I had ended up putting the kid in my shoes. Not a boy that might lose his mother and forget her, but the girl that never met her own and struggled to ignore how her mother’s loss still affected others. The girl that heard her dad talk about all the lovely things his wife once did. Details that maybe no longer existed because of her own existence.

It was a stupid thought maybe. It wasn’t like I had a choice. Dad always made sure I knew it wasn’t like that, but sometimes I just couldn’t help from wondering. Would she still be here without me? Would it had been better? Would my dad had been happier even if he claimed it wasn’t true? I pushed the thoughts away like I had that last time after swimming with my friend--yes Kat, you’re my friend--but made sure to this time replace them with dad’s words: ‘Of course I miss her, Jyn. I would love to have her here with me... but only so she could see what a wonderful girl you’ve become.’

It still made me cry, but more because of all the efforts my dad had done rather than because of sadness. I wiped away the tears and smiled apologetically at Marissa. “Sorry to bring the bad news.”

She gave me a sad smile back and surprised me with a hug. “Oh honey, no... The silly thought just made it’s way through my head again. I already spilled my own tears years back. What you’re bringing now is good news...” She pulled away and smiled with still glassy eyes. “Knowing the truth, knowing about you, it makes it a million times better. You’re mother would be the happiest woman on earth to see how you share the same strong voice.”

The words coming from someone different than my dad made me smile, but I was sure it was a slightly awkward smile since I barely knew Marissa at all. She apparently noticed too, standing up and wiping her tears.

“Jeez, I’m making a scene and making you uncomfortable, aren’t I? You must think I’m a crazy lady.”

“Uh,” I laughed nervously, “no, it’s fine, just...a bit confused I guess.”

Oh, so you’re guessing now, huh? For some reason I imagined Dom’s mocking voice in my head. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes as I grinned to myself.

“Understandable…” Marissa assured me. “It seems there’s a lot to be discussed. Ri sure has a lot to explain to me, no wonder he just decided to vanish.” She shook her head like my dad was in front of her. “That little--”

I cleared my throat and she looked down at me. “Right, sorry. How about we go to your mother’s favorite cafe and I can explain it all?”

A/N 2.0: To be continued… I guess? Jyn’s project in the end was something she wasn’t even sure would be counted as a service project since it involved changing law issues regarding marriage in Illea. Once she learned the true story behind her parents’ complications to keep their lifestyles and be together, it was all she could really think about, so that’s what she worked around. There’s--> this old interview where you can see some of Jyn’s opinions about marriage and how the woman is entitled to take the man’s caste no matter what (before she even found out about her parents). Terribly sorry this is met half way, but under my circumstances that is all I could manage. Hope you liked what you got tho <3 , it’s almost 2k words. There’s a reference to the second date ro with dom that I’m still in the middle of writing a fic for since I struggled with time. I guess y’all seeing it depends on if I get eliminated or not lol.