#i still think they look a bit off i coulda positioned both gemstones so they were more facing forward from her perspective

[rnoonsetter]

virginia again! big thanks to @podplease for pointing out that her eidolon was missing, i completely forgot it! i actually envisioned it as gold with amethyst, but that didn't go with the color palette ;-.- also fixed some minor gripes i had, and added more shading here and there.

[captainillogical]

Distant Lands Ch.7

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

“Uhhh..” You hear yourself echo out into what feels like empty space. “Is there a lightsource nearby?” 

“There should be, hold on.” You turn to Spinel, to see her gemstone glowing slightly on her chest. Huh. “Give me a second, and I should be able to find the control nearby.”

You watch the glow of her gem move off to the side, and you take a couple steps forward to get your bearings. It smells.. dusty in here. You can’t feel anything around you, so you assume you’re in an open space. Nearly a minute passes in the dark, and you hear Spinel shuffling around a good twenty feet away from you.

“You find anything yet?” Your words continue to bounce off the walls. There must be a high ceiling, too.

“Could ‘ya be a little patient? I don’t see you helping.” You hear her reply.

“I can’t see in the dark, what do you expect me to do? It’s not like I have a gem to light the way for me.” You scoff, taking a few more steps forward.

“I think I found it.” You hear another small click, and all of a sudden the room lights up around you.

You’re about two feet away from something, and when you look up, you realize it’s a statue a good thirty feet tall. The face is strikingly stern, with the chin jutting out in a fierce display of authority.

“Is that Yellow Diamond?” Spinel says off to the side.

“Yeah.” You stare at it a bit more. “Funny. She looks the exact same now.”

“You’ve met Yellow Diamond?” She asks, perplexed. She’s walking back over to you now.

“Yeah, a couple times, all under very weird circumstances. At least she eventually stopped trying to kill Steven, though." You chuckle, looking at the room around you. 

The walls are long and high, and there’s a couple of really old Diamond murals along it. You see a staircase in the back, leading up to the second floor, and a couple of generic statues off to the side that looked like they were just placed there randomly. In the middle and along one side of the wall there is a bunch of outdated gem technology, with a giant screen taking up a large portion of it.

“She tried killing Steven?”

“Yup. Dunno why you sound surprised, you also tried killing him.” You reply, tired and sarcastic.

“That’s different! I had my.. reasons.”

“Your reasons are basically the same. It all ties back to Pink Diamond.”

“I..” She crosses her arms, and purposefully looks at the gem tech in front of her. “I doubt that.”

You stare at her for a moment. “Well, maybe if you told me why, I’d be able to tell you that you were wrong to your face, and we can finally settle this.”

“Settle what, exactly?” She uncrosses her arms, and wipes the console in front of her. There is so much dust caked onto the controls and screen that her glove comes back with a thick, dark layer of dust. She makes a disgusted face.

“Your problems. You clearly have issues with something that happened, and you’re letting them control nearly every aspect of you. I can tell.” You nearly cough at the slight dust cloud around you, and you have to bring your hand up to your face to wave it away.

“That’s none of your business.” She snaps back with, and presses several buttons in front of her. The console beeps, and the screen lights up in front of you two.

“It isn’t, no. But it’s not like you have anyone else to talk to.” You shrug, watching the screen boot up. You don’t really care anymore, not really. Not since she promised to not harm Steven. 

“You’re kind of a hypocrite.”

“Really?” You scoff. “What makes you say that?”

“You also have problems. I can rarely talk to you without you snapping at me.” She wipes more of the computer down, and attempts to shake the dust off her glove, to no avail.

You glare at her, unable to form your words for a moment.

“Listen, I-”

You’re cut off by the console chiming, and you hear a voice say “Welcome”. Both you and Spinel look at each other.

“You think communications are still up?” You ask, argument momentarily forgotten.

“They should be. Gems built tech to last for thousands of years.” You watch her navigate the menu, display language in something you cannot read. 

Several messages pop up on the screen, and Spinel huffs out her nose in frustration while exiting out of all of them.

"What's wrong?"

"It's giving me connection issues."

"Are you serious.." You want to scream. “Why does everything need to be difficult!? I just want to go home.”

"I'll get it fixed, sheesh. Give me a minute to figure out what it's talking about." She grits her teeth, tongue poking out slightly. You watch her offhandedly, as you really can’t do much else other than wait. 

She’s changed a little since you’ve met her. Not so much appearance wise, other than her pigtails looking a little more frayed, a bit looser. Like she’s let the wild of the jungle get to her. You’ve always found the markings on her face a bit strange, but you’ve grown used to them. The thing that bothers you the most honestly, is that her heart shaped gem (that you now can guess is heart shaped because she’s a friendship gem.. the irony) is upside down? It makes no sense. You won’t ask her why she looks the way she does, though. 

The last couple of days you’ve felt a bit different about her. You don’t really hate her anymore, not really. She’s kind of tolerable, sometimes.

Spinel makes a couple tutting noises which draw you out of your inner monologue. You watch her eyes flicker rapidly across the screen.

“So, good and bad news.” She finally says after several minutes.

“Bad news first.” You reply.

“Okay, all network signals are completely down and I can’t seem to get them back up.”

“And the good news?”

“I attached an SOS signal to a nearby satellite. It should be able to bounce off something from there and get to someone, but who knows at this point.”

Of course.

“That ain’t great but.. it’s something.” You shrug. You’re disappointed, but there isn’t really anything you can do to change this. She narrows her eyes at you.

“I was expecting you to be a lot more.. angry about this. Not gonna lie.”

“Well, it’s kind of on brand at this point for this planet to give me unpleasant news.” You roll your eyes at her. “I’m not fussy all the time.”

“Coulda fooled me.” She snaps back instantly, and you give her a pissy look. Whatever. You’re tired.

A bit done with the whole situation, you disengage yourself from the console while you walk around, looking at everything. It's dusty as fuck in here, clearly from disuse. Off to the side, you see a pile of something and instantly get excited.

"Ohhh fuck yes." You hear your voice echo across the room.

"What are you going on about over there?" Spinel pipes up from her position on the other side, but she doesn't move.

"I found a cloth tarp! A big one!" You shout back, picking up a corner of the fabric, feeling it on your fingers. It's a bit rough, but after sleeping on fucking leaves for the last two weeks, this feels like a luxury.

"..and why are you excited about that?" 

"Because this will make sleeping so much better, and it's the closest thing to a blanket, okay! Anything is better than leaves at this point."

"Humans are so weird." She replies with, staring at you for a brief moment before going back to looking at the screen. You find yourself not really caring.

"Anyway, I'm gonna shake this out and pass out soon. Today has exhausted me." You cough from all the dust you're kicking up. 

"Do what you want." She says, “I’m gonna see if I can somehow restore the corrupted data logs I found on here.”

You will do what you want, you think to yourself. She can do whatever.

You go to grab a bunch of the cloth tarps and move them into a giant pile in the corner of the room, after shaking each one out further away from your chosen spot. It takes you awhile, and when you’re done, Spinel is still at the console, eyebrows furrowed at the screen.

You lay down, and face the wall.

By the time you're half asleep she finally lays down next to you, and you hear her sigh to herself while adjusting the cloth over herself. Sleep comes to you easy.

-

You wake up several hours later due to Spinel getting up from her position beside you and walking away from your bed pile. In your half sleep state, you hear the doors to the Spire open and close. Did she just.. leave? You lay there very groggily for several minutes, wondering if you should go check on her to see what she’s doing. She’s never left in the middle of the night before like this. A few more minutes pass and before you can convince yourself to brave the cold outside, you hear the doors opening again with a swoosh, and the sound of footsteps walking back towards you.

Spinel lifts the drop cloth and gets back under it right next to you, and you try your best to not seem like you’re awake right now. You let your breathing even out, with no further sound or movement coming from Spinel behind you. 

Honestly, this is the most comfortable you’ve been since being on Earth, even if it is just laying on a pile of musty tarps. Minutes pass, and you’re starting to feel your eyes droop again with sleep. You feel your body relax, and then.. something touches the small of your back. It’s just enough of a touch to feel it, and it jostles you out of your sleep again. Is she asleep? You listen closely to hear her breathing, and you’re a 100% positive she’s awake. You move slightly, and she quickly pulls her hand away in response. ...okay. Why was she touching you?

You roll over immediately to see what’s up with her, and she’s staring at you with a strange expression.

“Why’d you leave?” You ask, voice rough with sleep. Her eyes flicker between yours, considering you for a moment before opening her mouth.

“..I had a nightmare.” She says, plainly. Her facial expression is kind of.. vulnerable. 

“Okay, but why’d you leave the Spire?” You’re too tired and not really in the mood to make fun of her for this, and besides, the air around you right now is.. different. It’s hard to describe.

“I needed to get some fresh air to clear my head.” She sighs, and wipes some loose pink hair away from her face.

“Nightmare was that bad?” 

“..yeah.” She replies reluctantly. 

“Wanna talk about it?” You pry, not really caring if she does or not. 

“Not really.” She says, kind of stubbornly.

Ugh, okay. That’s the most you’re going to extend out to her. You’re tired and not really feeling up to this anyway.

“Alright, suit yourself.” You roll back over, and rest your head on your arm for a makeshift pillow. For some reason your tarp pile feels a lot more lumpy now, and it’s making it really hard to find a decent comfortable spot. You adjust yourself multiple times before finally settling, and pulling your drop cloth back up to your chin. Man.. this thing decently keeps in body heat. You almost feel snug under here.

You feel yourself falling asleep again, when Spinel moves slightly behind you.

“...um.” She clears her throat.

“Yeah?” You reply curtly. Can she let you fucking sleep?

“It was about Pink Diamond.” You open your eyes again, and you can just feel how tired your facial muscles are. Of course she wants to share with the class now.

“Was it the same nightmare as last time?” You hear yourself asking.

“...yeah, actually.” 

“That uh. That sucks.” You reply, kind of awkwardly. You don’t really know how to deal with this kind of thing. “Having the same nightmare twice, I mean.”

“I’ve had this happen every night we’ve been here.” She says bluntly, and you roll back over to face her.

“Every night? You’ve had the same exact nightmare every night?”

“Yes.” She narrows her eyes at you. “Is that not normal?”

You stare at her for a bit. You’re almost concerned. You know, if you actually cared about her.

“No, that’s not.. er. What are they about? Are you like, trying to give a serious report to the other gems or something, and when you look down you realize you’re in your underwear? And Pink Diamond is there, laughing at you?”

“No.” She replies, giving you a tired look. “It’s always about her abandoning me in the garden.”

“Pfft, abandoning you? I mean that’s shitty, but I was expecting, I don’t know, something like murder? What kind of nightmare is that?” “A realistic one.” She says, and takes in a long breath of air.

“Realistic.” You stop, open your mouth, and stop again. “Could you explain?”

She looks down at her hands momentarily, contemplating something. When she looks back up to meet your gaze, you feel as if her expression changed a little.

“So. Long story short.. we were best friends, and then she left me.”

You stare at her, waiting for her to continue. Several seconds pass in silence.

“You gonna elaborate on that?”

“This is hard for me.” She presses her face further into the tarps, almost as if she’d prefer to sink into them. “It’s kind of a fresh wound, still.”

“Well, I have time.” You say, neutrally. This seemed to be the right thing to say, because it looks like she just visibly relaxed her hunched up shoulders.

“You know how I said I was a companion gem?” She asks you, and you nod at her. “Well, I was made specifically for Pink Diamond.”

“Why?” You question out loud.

“The other Diamonds deemed her lonely, and also wanted her out of their hair. So they gave her.. me. It was great, being with her. We had our own garden to play in, just the two of us. We’d have hours of fun there.”

“If it was so great, why’d she leave you then?” You say, not quite understanding what she’s getting at here.

“She wanted a colony so bad like the other Diamonds. Pink begged them for so long, and threw so many tantrums that eventually they gave in.”

“And then she just left? You didn’t go with her?” 

“Yeah, and no.”

“What did you do?” “I waited for her.” “You WAITED for her?”

“She told me to. You know, like we were playing a game. And I’m good at games, the best even, but..”

“But?”

“She never came back.”

You stare at her. You feel like something maybe just clicked. You know the rest of Pink Diamond’s story. And.. with Spinel here just telling you hers, and never having met her prior to two weeks ago..

“Spinel?” You meet her gaze, and she’s looking at you nervously. You feel wide awake now.

“Hm?”

“How long did you wait for Pink Diamond to come back?” She tears her gaze from yours immediately. This terrible feeling of nausea and dread bubble up in your stomach, making you nearly instantaneously feel like shit.

She mumbles something so quiet that you can’t make out anything she just said.

“Wanna repeat that?”

“Six thousand years, give or take a little.”

You feel your eyes widen in surprise, and nearly choke on your own saliva.

“You.. six thousand years.”

“Yep.”

“You questioned nothing?” “I thought about it, but if she came back and I wasn’t there..”

“What made you finally leave? Considering you must know by now that-”

“It was Steven’s broadcast. I figured it out after that.”

You both stare at each other for several long moments while you attempt to sort this information out in your head.

Wow. It all makes sense now. There’s a lot to unpack here. God, you.. You feel like shit. She must have warped directly to you guys as soon as she saw that message. She wasn’t exactly kidding when she was talking about a fresh wound.

Sure, it doesn’t excuse her trying to murder Steven, but now you just feel terrible that you’ve kinda been an asshole to her this entire time and she just.. yikes. She clearly needed someone to talk to. She doesn’t even seem like the same gem that used you for a human meat shield two weeks ago. How in the world did she not go insane from being isolated for so long? Er, aside from.. You know. When you first met. How has she gone from thousands of years of silence, thousands of years with no touch, or talking to anyone, all by herself.. to.. to this. Stuck on a shitty planet, and with you. It is her fault, but..

You don’t even know how to proceed from here. You seriously feel like you need to go outside to clear your head to just.. absorb all of this. 

“Why aren't you saying anything?" She interrupts your thoughts, sounding quietly concerned. 

"I'm a bit at a loss of words here. You're gonna have to give me a second." You inhale and exhale, gathering your thoughts. "So.. wow. Wasn't expecting that from Pink Diamond, but knowing so much about her? I'm honestly not surprised at all."

“Yeah I’ve.. had a lot of time to think about it.”

“No kidding.” You say, still in a bit of shock at this. “And look, she’s even plaguing your dreams subconsciously.” “Is there a way I can get them to stop?” She asks you, fumbling with the edge of the cloth between her fingers.

“I’m gonna be real with you here.” You sigh, pushing your hair a bit out of your face. “I only ever got my really bad nightmares to kind of go away by confronting the issue at hand.”

“Which was?”

“I needed to face everything I was scared and insecure about.” You say, and Spinel’s eyes meet yours.

“I.. uh. I don’t know how to do that.” She says, very quietly. The silence of the room envelops around you, and you watch her eyes flicker between yours. 

You feel like whatever you say next might cause your relationship with her to change a little, somehow.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

Her eyes open slightly wider, mouth hanging in surprise. “You want me to talk?” 

“Do you have any other choice to talk to anyone else here?” You have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“No..”

“Anyway, I’m your only option, so.”

“I don’t even know what to say.” She says, fingers gripping around the fabric, clenching them tightly.

“Honestly,” You start, “I didn’t approach anyone with my shit. Steven actually forced me to sit down and talk to him about it, because he could tell I was miserable and losing sleep over it.”

“He sounds like a good person.” “He is. I don’t know what I’d do without him.” You pause, and she looks slightly guilty at what you just said. “But he made me realize I was putting too much on me, and blaming myself for everything when no one is perfect. So..” You take another breath. “What exactly are you feeling here, in these nightmares?��

“Anger. Hurt. And this intense hollow feeling in my chest.” She flicks her gaze away from you kind of.. nervously.

“Makes sense, all things considered. Is there something that you can’t stop thinking about, no matter how hard you try?” You watch her bite her lip in between her teeth, eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah.” She says, softly. “The indescribable feeling of standing there waiting for her, wondering how long it’s been since I last saw her, wondering if something really bad had happened. Then watching Steven’s broadcast about peace and prosperity, finally realizing she literally left me and made new friends, and doesn’t even exist anymore.”

Silence fills the room for several seconds. You feel your chest tightening; her sad, defeated tone striking a chord inside you.

“What an asshole.” You accidentally say out loud, and slap your hand over your mouth. “Sorry, I know that isn’t helpful.” Her face twitches in an almost smile, and that causes some kind of feeling to bubble inside you that you squash down to not analyze later.

“No, you’re right. I just wish I could say something to her.” She sighs.

“And what exactly would you say to her?” You ask, and she meets your eyes briefly before purposefully staring at her hands instead.

“I’d tell her that she’s a half-rate diamond who sucks at playing hide-and-seek.” She pauses for a second, like she’s mulling over something before saying it. “And then I’d ask her..” She trails off, mumbling slightly, and you can’t hear a word of it. She’s very purposefully not meeting your eyes now.

“Could you repeat that last part?”

“I.. I’d also maybe ask her if there was anything I had done to make her leave me there.” She says very quietly, and you barely manage to hear it.

You.. you stare at her. You can see a small amount of tears welling up in her eyes, and your heart breaks for her, just a little.

“Spinel.” You say, and she looks to you, lips trembling like she’s about to cry. “There was nothing you could have done to make her abandon you like that.”

“Look, I clearly deserved that,” She says, voice filled with raw emotion. A tear spills down her face, and she wipes it away quickly. “Because why else would she have done that?”

“No one deserves that. Period.” You state factly, and you want no room for argument about it. “And I don’t know, because prior to this.. no one had mentioned your existence at all. She didn’t tell anyone about you.”

“Hearing that out loud makes it hurt so much worse.” She laughs, and chokes back a quiet sob, wiping more tears away from her face. You feel like your stomach just dropped, and something grips your chest cavity tightly.

“I didn’t mean it like..”

“It’s fine. It’s all her fault, anyway. I’ll get over it eventually.”

“Spinel..” You trail off, unable to form the right words. You don’t really know how to make this any better. You feel awkward and miserable, and you’re rethinking every interaction you’ve had with Spinel up to now with the new information. 

She.. she basically clung onto you at first because she absolutely did not know how to deal with her own abandonment issues and isolation. You’re trying to not blame yourself for your own self preservation, but you feel extremely guilty that you didn’t try to understand her sooner. Because technically, you’ve been a complete dick to her for the last week unnecessarily. Even when she was nice to you.

“I’m sorry.”

She looks up at you, wiping another tear away. She looks miserable, and with her shoulders trembling like that, she seems so small. Small and unthreatening, unlike when you first met her.

“Why? What do you have to be sorry about?”

“I haven’t exactly been super nice to you, like, at all.” You answer bluntly.

“So? It’s not like I gave you a reason to like me. I trapped you here with me, I don’t deserve any kindness.”

“Yeah, well. I’m still sorry.” You shrug, watching her avoid your eyes again. “And.. I think everyone deserves a bit of kindness.” She makes a face like she’s about to protest, so you speak up before she tries anything. “Don’t argue with me about this.”

She opens and shuts her mouth, and continues to avoid your eyes.

“Okay.” She says, and the room fills with silence again. 

A minute or so passes while you lay there, the sound of your own breathing the only thing you can hear. Eventually her eyes trail over to yours, and you make eye contact. You both look at each other for several long moments, neither of you breaking the quiet. You can see her gem peeking out of the tarp she’s covered with, chest moving slightly with every intake of breath. Her eyes look.. so tired. 

“Um..” She shifts her body slightly under the tarp, pressing her face further onto the pile. “I think maybe I should sleep.” “It would be a decent idea, yeah.” You reply. Neither of you move.

“Y/N?” She asks.

“Hm?”

“Thanks.”

“For?” 

“Listening.” She blinks slowly, and you can visibly see her shoulders deflate.

“Don’t mention it.” You say, and give her a half smile.

You pull the cloth up to your face, the smell of dust hitting your nostrils. You don’t really mind. She does the same and you make eye contact with her again, feeling the air between you two change slightly. You don’t really know how to describe it, but.. it’s different.

You find yourself falling asleep facing her this time. 

It doesn’t bother you.