#i still think about how that day MULTIPLE of my twitter friends were like ‘lets go back to tumblr’

[lqvesoph]

Is it over now - LN4

lando norris x fem!reader

summary: your situationship with lando ended 10 months ago… or did it? based on taylor swift’s "is it over now"

warnings: toxic behavior, cheating, smut, p in v, dirty talk, handjob, fingering, edging, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, praise (with slight degradation)

a/n: you have no idea how long it took me to finish this and idk the word count but its long and filthy. Also this gif does things to me… just the way he looked that day🤌🏻 the curls the beard the cheekbones

masterlist | taglist

You knew he was gone. He left exactly 113 minutes ago. His flight had taken off 44 minutes ago. Angrily you turned around in your bed, kicking off the blanket and staring at the blank spot next to you where only three hours ago, Lando’s curly head had laid.

Since then you slept with each other. Again. And had a terrible screaming match. Again.

You knew it was for the better to let him go, you were toxic, your relationship, if you can call it that, had been from the very start two years ago when you drunkenly slept with each other after a celebration party.

Since then it’s been one hell of a ride. Neither of you were very good at the whole relationship and communication thing, so naturally your relationship was based on an endless circle of being somehow happy, until one of you screwed up, you fought, left and ended up in each others bed minimum three days later.

Some might say this behavior exhausts but for the two of you it was what made things exciting and addicting.

His touch, his lips, his body, HE was addictive.

But since the last time you broke up, things had changed. Lando had gotten a new girlfriend, something that made you mad as hell.

He knocked on your door last night, storming in and pinning you to the wall before violently attacking your lips with his.

But that wasn’t what made you mad, this was a rather regular occurrence any time one of you got a new partner. What made you mad was that when he woke up the next morning he didn’t stay like he usually would. He jumped out of bed, calling the previous night a 'mistake' and something that 'shouldn’t have happened'. On top of that he blamed you.

Naturally that resulted in your neighbors, once again, hearing a thirty minute screaming match which ended in you kicking Lando out of your door with the words "Don‘t ever call me or knock on my door again, especially not when you realize she can’t give you what you want!!" "I promise I won’t!!" "Oh you are a lying traitor!!".

You hated that even though he was gone for good now, he still wouldn’t leave your mind.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Fast forward to almost 10 months later. Mason, your very nice colleague picked you up from your office. You met on one of your threehundreds of awkward blind dates your friend had arranged, finding out that you actually worked for the same company. However that didn’t make the date any less awkward, because you mostly talked about work. But at least you kind of found a good friend now. You haven’t spoken to Lando since that night. To be perfectly honest, you didn’t think he actually wouldn’t come back.

"Hey, ready for that coffee?", he smiled.

You grabbed your bag and joined Mason. Together you walked to the cafe you‘ve been going to ever since the first time. You noticed he was a bit nervous for some reason, but you didn’t dare ask why, deep down you didn’t care but you wouldn’t admit that to yourself of anyone.

"Two latte‘s to go, please", Mason placed your order. While you waited you pulled out your phone to check some new messages from your friends.

"Lando Norris spotted with yet another model", Mason read the most recent headline when he opened twitter. "Can you believe that guy, huh?", he huffed.

"I bet she’s got blue eyes", you huffed and shook your head when Mason showed you a picture of the blonde girl with blue eyes who basically looked like your clone. "Predictable." "What?", Mason asked confused. "Oh nothing, I happen to know all his girls literally look the same", you fake smiled but thankfully Mason didn’t notice. For some reason he didn’t know about Lando and you when you met and you were rather happy about keeping it that way.

Sure Lando and you never paraded each other around on Instagram, you never actually were together long enough to feel comfortable with announcing your situationship, but you have been spotted together multiple times in the paddock or at parties.

Mason didn’t need to know about the boy who still kept you up some nights.

Your coffees were placed in front of you, making you look up and hesitate for a second. "Here you go", the waiter smiled and for a few seconds you saw Lando in front of you.

The dark brown curls, the green eyes and lord that smile, it reminded you of him.

"Thanks", Mason replied on your part and grabbed the coffees. "You good?", he asked. You simply nodded, still a little in your thoughts.

"Okay good because I’ve been wanting to ask you something", he said, glancing to you. "Hmm?"

"We‘ve been going on these take out coffee dates for almost 10 months now, and I remember how beautiful our first one was, the blind date. So I’ve been wondering, would you like to be my girlfriend?", Mason asked, glancing down at you to catch your reaction.

You looked at him with a blank face and simply nodded. "Uh-hmm", you muttered, your mind still some place elsewhere, more specifically at one of yours and Lando‘s good nights, with his head between your thighs.

"That’s great!", Mason called happily and brought you into a hug.

"Uh-hmm."

"I think we should go out tonight and celebrate this!", Mason spoke excitedly, pressing a kiss to your temple.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Mason told you to invite a few friends as he did the same so you decided to ask your two best friends to come. And same as you, they were never one to turn down an invitation to a night out.

"So, you’ve been acting a little weird ever since we’ve been here", Mia pointed out, taking a sip from her drink. "Mason asked me to be his girlfriend", you dryly replied, making Mia almost spit out her drink again and Laura shockingly turn her head towards you.

"What?!!", they called in unison. You nodded, taking another sip of your drink. "Well, did you say yes?", Laura pressed, both hers and Mia’s eyes staring you down intensely.

"Uh-hmm", you gave the same answer as to Mason a few hours prior. "That’s- uh great", Mia stuttered over her words for a bit. Her and Laura look each other before Mia looked away.

"Fine, if you won’t say it I will. Finally!!! I’m so damn happy you finally completely moved on from Lando and found someone who treats you better than that piece of junk", Laura started rambling and just in that moment your eyes locked with the devil Laura has been talking and you’ve been thinking about.

No fucking hell. That couldn’t be true.

How can it happen that after 10 months of not running into Lando once while clubbing, toady was the day where it happened?

"We both weren’t great in that relationship", you muttered, slightly defending Lando without even meaning to, your eyes still locked with his.

An arm wrapping around your waist pulled you out of the staring contest. "Hey babe", Mason whispered in your ear and placed a sweet kiss to your temple. You internally cringed at the nickname and the rotting sweet gesture.

Laura’s eyes sparkled at the sight of you, while Mia caught your annoyed looking gaze. She was always the one who understood you and Lando the most out of all of your friends. Maybe because she was such a sweet and genuine human that she believed both of you could change for each other or probably she simply understood how attached you grew to each other that no matter what, that bond wouldn’t break.

And judging from the fact how Lando and you captivated each other just moments ago, that bond also didn’t break in the last 10 months apart.

"We’ll go take a smoke, you wanna come?", Laura asked but you shook your head. Ever since the whole thing with Lando started you never touched a cigarette again. He didn’t like it, it was unhealthy and being with someone who doesn’t smoke made you smoke less as well, until you stopped completely.

"You should really enjoy life a little again", Laura replied, knowing your reasons to quit smoking.

"Maybe I’ve just come to the realization that I don’t need to poison my lungs to enjoy life", you simply answered, rolled your eyes and turned away.

"Can you get me something to drink?", you asked Mason who was still gently rubbing your waist, actually only wanting to bring some distance between the two of you. "Uh yeah sure, what do you want?", he asked. "Just bring me anything", you replied, stepping out of his embrace as a sign for him to get going.

He nodded and turned around but not before placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. You cringed internally.

"Y/n?", his voice suddenly spoke behind you, making your whole body freeze. Lando’s hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you in, something he did quite often when you were 'together'. "What are you doing here?", he whispered and you immediately felt your legs weakening. You had no idea why your body immediately reacted to him and you hated yourself for it.

Lando only smirked when he noticed you wobbling a little and gripped your waist tighter. "Missed me?", he muttered, placing a gentle kiss on your exposed shoulder, making your eyes flutter and your body lean back into his.

"300 days later and you still react to my touch like that", he smirked.

"He really can’t give it to you properly, I can see that from the way he was holding you", Lando snorted, making fun of Mason and you didn’t feel the slightest need to defend your boyfriend because you knew Lando was right.

"You shouldn’t", you warned Lando before hearing someone clear their throat behind you.

Lando dropped his hand from your waist and his gaze darkened when he saw Mason standing behind you

Said boy pulled you into a possessive hug.

"Hey, babe", he smiled, pressing a kiss to your temple before handing you your drink.

You sniffed before realizing it was Vodka Coke. A smirk made its way on Lando’s face when he saw your drink and your reaction. You knew he knew that you hated Coke.

"And you are?", Mason let his eyes wander to the curly headed boy in front of you. "Lando", he muttered, ignoring Mason who held out a hand for him to shake. "Okayyy", Mason whispered. "You wanna dance?", he then turned to you. You simply nodded and accepted his hand that led you into the crowd of people.

Mason pulled you in, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Isn’t that the guy with all of those girls?", he asked, leaning closer to your ear so you’d understand his words over to loud music.

"Lando Norris, yes", you nodded, interwinding your fingers behind Mason’s head. "Do you know each other?"

Flashbacks of Lando and you floated your mind. Driving along the French Riviera in his McLaren, the occasional stop to get in a quickie, or the sneaking away from his engineers to meet in his drivers room. And finally, him peacefully sleeping next to you on that one damned night, his curls a mess on his head, his torso bare with a few red marks on his back from your activities before and his beautiful eyes shut.

"No", you simply replied before placing your lips on Mason’s to get him to stop asking questions.

Mason more than happily gave in, letting his hand wander down to your ass, gently rubbing it. You kissed him harder, wanting him to be a little bit rougher as well, to firmly grab you and not just delicately touch you.

But instead he backed off.

"Woah, what’s gotten into you today? This is totally not like you!", he stated with a confused smile, which made you even angrier. Of course this was like you, he just didn’t know you well enough.

"I’ll be in the restroom for a second", you rolled your eyes before leaving him standing alone in the middle of the dance floor.

You pushed open the heavy door to the women’s restroom, being thankful that no one was there before putting your hands on the marble counter and leaving your head hanging.

Until the locking of the main door made your head shoot up. And to be perfectly honest, you half expect him to follow you in here.

"What happened to your newest toy?", Lando smirked, leaning against the now closed door. You rolled your eyes and didn’t reply.

Lando pushed himself off the door and walked closer to you until he stood directly behind you, looking at you through the mirror. "Don’t roll your eyes at me, baby", he warned.

"Now tell me what happened to that guy? Realized he couldn’t give you want you want?", Lando smirked, quoting your words from the night you last saw each other. You shook your head, not wanting to give into him.

"Come on baby, I saw your face. You didn’t like the gentle touches in the middle of a club dance floor, admit it!", he dared you.

"'Newest toy', what do you think of me? That I slept around with everyone that was in a 1 mile radius of me?", you ignored his words and stared at him through the mirror.

"Did you think I didn’t see you? There were flashing lights", you huffed. "Maybe I wanted you to see me and please baby, don’t play all innocent", he whispered, still standing behind you but coming dangerously close now.

"At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sight unlike you!!", you called.

"Oh baby, don’t you think I‘ve heard the rumors? About your hips…", Lando stepped forward and let his hands trailed over your hips, "and thighs…", he let them wander further down to your thighs, gently rubbing the exposed skin. You let out a sigh at the familiar feeling and closed your eyes in pleasure, "and those whispered sighs", he smirked and quickly turned you around before lifting you up on the bathroom counter.

"Exactly rumors", you breathed, before he smashed his lips on yours.

Lando’s hands immediately grabbed your legs, opening them so he could stand between them. Then they went to your waist to pull you in closer.

Lando groaned at the feeling of you finally back in his arms.

His hands kept scanning over your body, squeezing your boobs which made you throw your head back and let out a deep moan.

"Been waiting to get my hands on you again for so long, baby," he breathed heavily, speaking into your skin as his fingers fumbled open the top of your blouse. His lips trailed over your exposed chest and stopped just under your collarbone, sucking the fragile skin between his lips.

"You’re saying you missed me?", you teased, trying hard to push the words out before another moan interrupted you. Lando grinned and ripped open the buttons of the white silk blouse, allowing your tits to spill out.

Lando swore he could come from that sight alone. "You're so gorgeous," he muttered, more to himself than to you, before looking back into your eyes.

His lips attacked yours again while his large hand worked your bra covered boobs.

Your eyes fluttered, feeling that all too familiar ache in your core while the large size of his palm against you, made you think of those thick, veiny fingers between your thighs.

Your hips pressed against his, feeling his hard cock against you, making you smirk.

Lando's eyes darkened as you ground yourself against him, faster, harder. His one hand tightening around your waist and his head falling forward on your shoulder.

"Admit it, darling", you whispered into his ear. You could tell me was holding back a moan, his restraint hanging by a thread, and every move you made threatened to break that thread.

You wanted to make him snap, an evil smirk brightening on your face as you moved your hips faster.

While he closed his eyes, you took the opportunity to fiddle with the metal belt around his hips, opening it along with the button and zipper of his jeans.

"Can’t wait, can you, you desperate little whore", Lando smirked, watching you push down his jeans and slide your hands inside his boxers to grab his cock.

Lando's head fell back with a groan as you started pumping his hard cock.

"Missed your hands, darling", he groaned, holding on to your waist tighter when you trailed your finger over his swollen tip before pulling your hand back, tracing them down his abdomen.

"Please, Lan", you begged, knowing your whispered words would make him weak. But he’s been playing this game just as long as you were.

His fingers slipped under the hem of your skirt, quickly stroking up to your clothed core. A heavy moan escaped your mouth.

Lando caressed the inside of your thighs while his lips traced down your neck, leaving a few marks here and there.

His finger pushed your laced thong to the side before lightly gracing your pussy, making your hips buckle into his hands. "Lan-", you moaned. An evil smirk spread on his face. "Now who’s desperate?", Lando whispered, repeating the action twice, pulling away way too quickly.

"I hate you", you breathed, throwing your head back before grabbing his wrist and holding it in place.

Lando shook his head but finally gave in and dipped the tip of his finger inside you. Your grip on his wrist tightening. "M-more", you slightly pleaded, trying your best not to sound too desperate but failing miserably.

"I’ve missed watching you react to me like this, still the very same as the first day", he said, pushing a second finger inside you to stretch you out. A high pitched moan left your throat and your hand let go of his wrist to grip the edge of the marble counter.

His lips were still traveling along your half exposed upper body, one hand pulling down your left bra cup, making your boob spill out before he took your nipple between his lips.

"Lando- I-", you moaned loudly, thanking heaven that he locked the door when he came in and gripping the counter tighter, your knuckles almost turning white.

He pulled his fingers out of you, making you whine at the feeling of emptiness, before you felt his hand trying to get your thong off. You lifted your hips a little to help him, watching as he pushed your underwear in the back pocket of his trousers.

"You should see yourself, darling", Lando smirked mockingly, his fingers being welcomed by her glistening pussy as he traced them along your slit.

"So desperate for me", he cooed, watching your eyes close and a frown forming on your forehead as you moaned.

"It’s funny how eager you are for everything I give you, baby", he chuckled humorless. "You won't call for months and now you want my cock inside of you?"

You whimpered at his words, all while he slowly inserted his finger inside you again.

"Lando- oh my- please", you continued whimpering and pleading, making Lando smirk. "What is it, baby? You're gonna have to tell me exactly what you want, you know how this works", he cooed into your ear.

He was teasing and you knew that, you have experienced it multiple times before. You didn’t want to give into him but damn his long thick fingers and how they felt inside you. You mind already playing images of him fucking you till you’re nothing but a whimpering mess.

"C’mon", Lando demanded firmly. "You've always been mouthy with me, even earlier, so why are you being quiet now, huh?"

"Lan- lando please, more", you whined, while moving your hips on his finger to get some sort of relief. "I just need more, please", you begged slightly, your eyes closed and not wanting to look at the winning smirk on Lando’s face.

"But you already have a boyfriend, mylady", Lando reminded you with an evil grin. You shook your head, the mess of your hair whipping around. "N-no", you tried to deny as he added a second finger.

"Just wanna cum, please- fuck!", you muttered as Lando curled his fingers inside you.

Lando, completely ignoring you, continued with his question. "What more could you possibly want?"

"I want your cock- so bad, just fill me up- fuck, Lando- fuck me, please- I-", you begged, your eyes tired but glistening in desperation and lust. "Jus’ wanna- want you to fuck me hard and fill- uhh- I wanna be full with you please, please Lando", at this point you didn’t even care anymore that you sounded like a desperate slut.

You’ve gone 10 months without seeing Lando in person, of course you had your fair share of fucks but you couldn’t pretend that any of them came even close to pleasuring you the way Lando was able to.

"Such a needy girl", he tsked before wiping you tears away, that you didn’t even notice had started falling down your cheeks. You clenched around Lando’s fingers, loving the way his voice sounded in your ear.

"Oh you want to cum?", Lando looked at you with a devious smile. "Do you think you deserve that?" Before you could reply, you felt his lips pressing against yours, his tongue gliding between your lips without being met with a lot of resistance.

He hummed in satisfaction, tasting the alcohol from the drink you previously had on your mouth before he pulled away, only to let his tongue trail from your lips, over your neck and down to your chest as he sucked on your skin, leaving a dark purple mark on your breast. You were too far gone to realize anything until the sudden bite of Lando's teeth on your nipple shocked you out of your daydream.

"I asked you a question, baby", Lando hummed, licking over your hardened nipple. You blinked down at him, seeing a little blurry. "W-what?"

His grin was wickedly evil as he looked up at you. "Aw, poor baby's already going cock dumb and I haven't even fucked you yet." Your cheeks heated but didn’t give you time to reply before slamming his cock inside you.

You gasped loudly, grabbing the back of his neck for leverage and letting out a strangled cry as Lando continued to fuck into you at high speed.

There was truly no one who could fill you up like he did.

The sound of his hips clashing against yours and both of your strangled moans were the only thing left to hear in the restroom. You felt your pussy clench around Lando’s cock, making him moan into your shoulder. He moved his fingers from rubbing the side of your waist to your clit, touching the already sensitive bundle of nerves and rubbing it as you cried out.

"God! Fuckin- hell- ohh!"

"I think God is the last person to help you right now, darling", Lando chuckled but got interrupted by a moan as your walls clenched around him again. You felt yourself nearing your orgasm with every rock of his hips.

"Fuck, baby you’re so tight", he moaned. "You have no idea how much I missed this tight fucking hole, perfectly clenching around my cock like this- ohh", Lando spoke in a light whisper, rubbing eight figures on your clit.

Your legs shook as you felt your orgasm approaching, your walls tightening. "Fuck, Lando, I- shit, I- I’m cumming!", you let out a breathy moan once more before clenching one last time. Your vision going blurry while your pussy kept throbbing around his cock.

"Lando, please I need-", you winced at the oversensitivity when he kept pounding into you. "Time", you breathed through a moan, gripping the back of his neck tighter as you felt another orgasm approaching. All while Lando never stopped fucking into you even when you came for a second time in a row.

The overstimulation leaving you as a sobbing mess. "Lan- lando, it’s too much! I- I can’t- fuck! 'm cumming, Lando-", you cried, tears streaming down your face, you head falling forward on his chest, not having the ability to keep it upright anymore.

"Yeah? You’re cumming again?", Lando mocked you, rocking his hips a bit slower.

"But I missed you so much, haven’t you missed me?"

"I- missed you- fuck! So much- so fucking much", you cried, your walls repeatedly clenched around his cock.

"Fuck! Lando!", you called pathetically when he started to pick up his pace again and relentlessly started hammering inside you, chasing his own orgasm.

You couldn’t do anything apart from moan, cry and clench around him, feeling another orgasm approaching as well.

"Shit- I’m so close", Lando groaned as a whisper, pulling you closer to him and placing his lips on yours. "I’m cumming- baby- I’m-", he whispered against your lips. Your body already going limp against his as you felt him filling you up with his cum.

A deep and breathy moan left his lips as he slowed down his pace. You felt the sticky liquid dropping out of you and running down the inner side of your leg.

Lando whipped it up with his finger and held it in front of your mouth. Without hesitation you took his finger inside your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and closing your eyes at the taste of his cum on your lips.

Lando gently rocked his hips again, making you whine. "Not again, Lando- please I- I need a minute", you winced, feeling way too overstimulated after cumming so many times in a row.

"Shh, baby it’s okay, just tryna fuck my cum back into you, to make sure it stays there until I can go back inside you again", he reassured you, before slowly pulling out, making you gasp and wince at the feeling of emptiness.

Exhausted you placed your head on his chest and closed your eyes while he held your waist.

"So did you find something greater in all those models’ beds?", you said with a dumbfound smirk forming on your lips, your mind still hazy while trailing your fingers over his bare chest. You felt his chest vibrating as he laughed and shook his head with a smirk. "Oh baby, I think you know exactly that nothing compares to you!"

You chuckled and lifted your head as he reached over to the paper towels and started cleaning your inner leg up a little. "What do we do now?", you asked, a hint of insecurity in your voice, as the reality of your situation came crushing down on you. "Well, I for damn hope you won’t go back to that milk boy", Lando chuckled, reaching for his belt to close his trousers again after tucking his cock away.

You stayed silent, your blouse still halfway open, your body too tired to move. Lando looked into your eyes before reaching to cover you up again. "You wanna come to mine?", he asked while closing the last button of your blouse.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Getting out of the club without Mason seeing you turned out easier than expected, however something you didn’t expect were people hanging around in front of the monegasque nightclub.

As soon as you opened the door, you already heard yours and Lando’s name being called and saw at least ten phones recording you.

Well, now Mason knows anyway, you thought while Lando grabbed your hand tighter and pulled you to his car quickly. Both of you waved a few times while passing the fans but stayed silent for the short walk. Lando opened the door for you before jogging around to get to the drivers side.

You snuggled into the seat of his familiar car, that wore his familiar scent and when Lando started up the car, he put his familiar hand on your thigh. You took a deep breath, you might be toxic but how damn good does this familiarity feel? It might just cancel the bad parts out.

Lando’s fingers drew circles on your thigh and he smirked when he noticed you opening your legs a little bit wider, an invitation to move his fingers up further.

His hand scooted up, pushing the material of your tight miniskirt away and gently tracing along your inner thighs.

"Baby careful or you’ll ruin the seat", he whispered sarcastically. He didn’t give a damn if you actually did and you knew that because this wouldn’t be the first time it happened.

"Lando-", you quietly whimpered when you felt his fingers come dangerously close to your core, still feeling the sensitivity of the multiple orgasms he had given you merely twenty minutes ago, but backed off just before touching you. "Shhh, baby", he spoke, keeping his eyes on the road while entering the tip of his finger.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you sunk down the seat a little. Without having to see, you knew Lando was smiling.

He pushed his finger further inside and immediately followed up with a second one. You quietly moaned at the pleasure.

"Already so fucking wet for me, baby", he spoke. "My good girl", he purred moving his finger faster inside you.

You moaned at his words and the way his fingers stretched you, making you see stars. "L-lando-", you whispered but got interrupted by another moan when he scissored his fingers. Your eyes shot open and you grabbed his arm tighter, your fingers most likely leaving marks on his skin.

You started moving your hips up to meet his fingers, chasing your own release in the passenger seat of Lando’s sports car.

But Lando suddenly slowed down and almost pulled his fingers out of you completely leaving you empty and whining. "L-lando - plea - ahh- please, baby", you couldn’t form proper sentences while his fingers traced your clit.

"Shh, no baby, you’re not coming until we’re home", he gently whispered, making you furrow your brows. He slid both fingers back inside you and picked his pace up again, making you gasp before an idea came to your head.

You let go of his arm and reached over the middle console and started palming the slight bulge in his trousers.

Now it was his turn to let out a surprised gasp. "You are playing a dangerous game, baby", he muttered, gripping the steering wheel tighter. You simply giggled and squeezed his clothed cock through his pants.

Lando twisted his fingers inside you, making you stop your movements and close your eyes. You hectically tried opening up his belt and trousers before sliding your hand inside his boxers, stroking over his tip that was already leaking pre cum.

"Baby-, I’m driving remember", he rasped, his finger still moving inside you but your main focus now laid on his cock in your hands. "It’s not like this is the first time", you breathed and started pumping his cock.

You could see how much he was fighting to close his eyes, which made a sadistic smirk form on your lips.

Because you were too focused on him, you didn’t see that you were already in front of Lando’s apartment.

He slid his fingers out of you and pushed your hands off him as well. "Let’s go!", he sternly said, getting out of the car and walking towards the entrance of his apartment building already, his trousers still opened.

You smirked and left the car as well, hurrying behind him. As soon as you got to the elevator, Lando reached for your hips and smashed his lips on yours again.

His hands moved to your ass and squeezed it playfully.

When you heard the familiar bling of his apartment elevator, he didn’t even look. Lando just moved you backwards out of the elevator, still kissing you. You fumbled his key out of the back pocket of his jeans and opened the door as soon as you got there.

Lando grinned and pushed you against the door to open it up completely before attacking your lips once again, kicking the door shut with his foot.

"Where you wanna go?", he muttered between kisses and moans. "Here is fine", you said breathlessly and pointed to the couch. Lando smirked, remembering what had happened on this couch, remembering catching you making out with a random dude after one of your fights.

"Was it over when he unbottoned your blouse?", Lando smirked, opening your blouse button for button, before pushing it off your body.

You smirked when you realized where he was getting at. But two could play that game, you had also caught him with a random girl on his exact couch.

"Was it over when she laid down on your couch?", you replied with the same smirk, only standing in your lace underwear and walking backwards to sit down on his couch.

Lando moved closer in only his trousers. He placed his strong arms on either side of your head and leaned down so his lips were almost touching yours.

"Was it ever really over?"

taglist

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[kanmom51]

JK's Weverse live 2 Feb 2023

OMG OMG OMG.

JK man, what did you do to us?

4 hours of JK. 4 friggin' hours.

Before I dive into the abyss I will say that this post is based on multiple trustworthy translation accounts, seeing there is no official translation nor will there be for quite some time now (4 hr. live, lol). I will update if any changes need to be made (after the official translation comes out).

Also, This is a long ass post, so breach yourselves, get yourselves your favourite snacks sit down and enjoy the ride. So so much to come.

Starting with his:

Knock knock, cheeky JK.

Let's sum up the 4 hours of the live shall we:

JK did the live in Brunnan.

JK's hair is long.

JK loves Bammi.

JK talked about his tattoos.

JK drank more beer than I could ever in one seating. Or maybe even 2 or 3 or 4...(I am a lightweight though).

JK was tired and still continued the live.

JK isn't working on his album at the moment, he's at home not doing much, well not working in any case.

RM commented a lot.

Tae commented a lot and got JK to do a live on IG that turned out to be pretty short, just surpassing his 7 min. live a few days back.

JK sang. A LOT.

JK sang Vibe. Twice. After calling JM cool, then adding Taeyang is cool too. He also gave us a little dance move.

Ooh, and we got JK singing Sam Smith's Unholy.

That's 4 hours in a nut shell I guess.

End of post.

Nah, gotcha.

We have tons to cover, so let's get it:

JK starts the live telling us he's not really supposed to be doing a live, I told you, cheeky boy.

Lol.

JK moves on to tell us he's not working on his album at the moment, and actually not doing much of anything at the moment.

I'm all for it. After 10 years of working practically non stop, throughout his youth, he deserves this time off.

JK does say he's spending time alone, at times hasn't left the house for 6 days in a row.

And as the introvert that he is, and as the introvert that I am, I get him. Totally. I could stay at home for days and feel totally content.

Doesn't mean he's not doing anything though. He's doing what he wants to do as opposed as living by a schedule. Taking the time to watch shows, videos, clips he wants to watch is one of those things he told us he does. I just do hope he's in a good mind space. The past couple of years were not easy. The not knowing not easy. Knowing MS is around the corner not easy. Jikook having to adjust to the new reality not easy. He needs this rest and I'm happy he's getting it.

Makes me think though about those stories told of him going out on the town like going skiing or snowboarding or spending time with Tae all the time (I literally have an ask in my inbox telling me just that). Dunno, perhaps it's time for many to finally start questioning these unsubstantiated stories?

Now don't come at me. Not saying JK and Tae aren't close friends. They might be both meeting up occasionally and/or playing online games together all day everyday. What I'm saying is that I'm sick of unsubstantiated stories someone sprouts on Twitter turned into facts without any actual proof.

And it's always the TKK side of things - believing until proven wrong. Because when the shoe is on the other foot, aka JKK, the knee jerk reaction is to not believe until proven true.

Just a thought...

After JK talks about how long his hair has grown, and damn, it has grown so long, Bam makes an appearance. Bammi. How we missed him so.

I truly think Bam deserves a whole post of his own, and I will give you one. I promise. Cause so many cute Bamkook moments, including a lethal Bam kiss.

JK's asked about Jin and says he thinks he's doing well and that he's in touch with them occasionally in their group chat. That same group chat many fans forget they actually have to communicate amongst themselves and not via their public IG accounts. That is when they don't communicate personally with each other privately.

JK brings up not seeing "Yoongi marry me".

Vibe.

Next JK started with the karaoke. We got to enjoy JK's flawless voice throughout his live. But he started us off with Vibe.

JK singing and dancing vibe on his live - all I've been living for the past couple of weeks, lol - singing it TWICE.

This too deserves a whole separate post, and it probably will get one.

Saying that, JK with singing Vibe (do I have to remind he did it twice?) has now performed 7 of JM's songs while live or recording content.

JK continues to sing several songs by TXT, New Jeans, Seventeen, RM, etc. Like I said, karaoke night full blow (filling up the 4 hour live).

A list of his songs throughout the live can be found here:

JK was asked if he has a tattoo on his back, to which he said he doesn't, only on his right arm.

We had a little JK-Army flirtation going on, as per usual, lol.

Mr. Jeon Jungkook also thinks maybe he's the next to get appendicitis. I sure hope he's wrong.

And that at 25 yo he's getting old.- everything hurts. Why am I not surprised (man cannot do anything half way).

RM popped in to visit JK's live, a little drunk perhaps, lol.

And JK...

Next comes the thing everyone has been literally waiting for...

The tattoos.

I know this will be twisted and turned and I feel sorry for the accounts with their anons open, cause this, not surprisingly, is turning into to a shit storm...

There are a few translations out there, most not full ones, and others pretty unreliable.

So, I'm still on the lookout for a reliable full translation for these. I've found a couple that feel like they have an agenda.

I did find this one, a full translation that seems to be more or less on the up and up - lines up with all the bits and pieces I've found in the accounts I do trust.

One specific tattoo JK neglects to talk about is the eclipse tattoo. Unintentional you think? I think not.

So, let's get down to what we really came for, eh? His hand tattoo. The talk of the town.

I know JK said the J is for JK. JK and Army.

Loud and clear, right?

But is it?

Is JK sharing the whole story with us?

Why then on the ring finger?

Why over the M?

Why not allow anything come between the two?

Also funny, as @jaksal pointed out, how for JM's birthday in 2021 for some reason the J and M were kept apart, distanced, quite like the J and M on JK's finger. Apart but not parted (mostly).

Another question I can't help but ask is since when does J stand for JK? Really. Please tell me when was the first or last time JK ever referred to himself as J.

Jungkook calls himself JK. He is referred to by others as JK. When he writes his name in Roman letters he writes JK. Never J.

On top of that, why not put the J over the A? Would make more sense, J + Army from the start...

And if he decided to put the crown over the A, which he did, then why not put the J over any other finger other than the actual ring finger that happened to make a lovely clear and constantly touched up and darkened JM?

Could JK share the whole story with us even if he really wanted to?

JK in essence debunked the story that Army were living for since 2019 - that Army with the J stood for all the 7 members of BTS. The A inverted standing for V.

Yes, he said the J is for JK, but could he say he added the J on his ring finger over the M to make JM? The only one out of all of the members he decided to tattoo onto his skin, have on his hand for all to see?

Telling us J over the M on his ring finger stood for JM would be literally outing the two as a queer couple. No ifs ands or buts.

And you can't say the same about him telling us army is army. Because admitting army was for all the members wouldn't put him in a queer relationship with one of the members, all while having JM on his ring finger would seal the deal on that.

So what did JK do talking about his tattoos? He omitted the JM, and the eclipse - the two specific known tattoos that can link him directly to JM (and if the eclipse had nothing to do with JM why not talk about it too?).

Oh, and I know what comes next -

Being asked "are you calling him a liar?"

Heck no.

But telling a necessary untruth, or embellishing the truth, or omitting some facts, or perhaps the right way of seeing it is giving us the acceptable excuse.

Nope. Not lying. But all the above... yeah, that.

Seriously, take a second to think clearly. What was he supposed to do? Really? Admit that the J and M are connected and mean JM?

I've been seeing people talking about how JK didn't realise what he was doing. That he didn't see the placement came out like JM. Please give me a break. Do they really have such low regard for JK?

The man that came up with this:

Wouldn't realise the J placed over the M makes JM - Jimin. Ha-ha-ha.

With or without the next paragraph, JK knew what he was doing.

But if we do trust this specific translation, JK points out that he placed the crown over the A. Thoughtfully. Intentionally. Do we really think he wouldn't have had the same thought process with the J?

Please don't insult JK's intelligence.

And if you wonder what K-JKKs are thinking:

And being harassed and bullied and bad mouthed for speaking their minds. How familiar...

Oh, and just in case we forgot, during the live JK made sure we'll remember how he refers to Jimin... starting to actually say the actual name and then intentionally changing it up to JM. See for yourselves.

And if you are even interested to know what my 21 yo army non Jikooker daughter's reaction was to the whole Army and J tattoo explanation (you're getting either way)...same daughter that told me the army stood for all members and we argued about it many a times.

You know what she said to me?

"Well, what do you expect him to say? That it's JM? Of course he can't say that".

EXACTLY!!

He can't say it.

So, if I haven't made myself clear by now I'll say it once more with feeling:

The combination of the J and the M on JK's ring finger stands for JM.

Again, I don't think JK is lying. But he's omitting.

The J could definitley be there to not only mean JM but him as well, which would make it even more romantic, if you will. The J and the M, JK and JM marked on his ring finger. If that's not commitment idk what is.

Then Tae joined the fun.

So, JK started the live.

Full untranslated live here (couldn't find a reliable translated one on YT just yet):

JK getting up mid live, to get something?

comes back and still talk for a few minutes, to each other (?) and that's it.

Not much was going on there.

Not gonna say the D (disconnected) word, cause y'all gonna come down my throat.

What was kind of obvious is that no, they no bumping knees. Two mates talking. To each other, next to each other, sometimes the first, sometimes the other.

When you are asking to have a live but then reduced to play with the filters cause the convo, it just ain't flowing, all to end the live after around 10 minutes (I think only around half of that was them talking to each other)...

I'd say reach your own conclusions.

The apartment

Before moving on let's talk a little about the apartment shall we?

We know who is on the lease of Brunnan.

We know it's furnished with some of the dorm's furniture (I'm not 100% sure, but that lounge sure looked like the dorm lounge).

Walls bare.

Clothes rack empty.

What looked like his coat maybe lying on the lounge next to him.

This time he was prepared with a chilled beer glass (after the tea cup wine drinking debacle, lol).

Let's get real here.

Could he be living there? Sure he could. Spending days on end in a bare, cold, lifeless apartment with zero character.

Could he be living elsewhere, let's say somewhere where we aren't even shown anything other than the tv screen? Sure he could. But not on paper. Not officially.

Could two grown men that literally aren't allowed to be in a queer relationship starting the second they enlist need to have official/public known separate addresses, and perhaps there is another place, kept secret, where they can spend most of their time together their privacy guaranteed? Knowing there are still queer couples in SK that live that way, my answer to that will be yes.

Do we know for sure? Heck no. And that, my friends, is the whole idea. We're not supposed to know, as much as our curiosity kills us.

Just a couple of more things and we're done. Phew...

We had this:

JK likes cute

Just in case we weren't aware of it, once again JK confirms that his type is cute. Since forever.

Cute has JK giggling.

Cute has JK drooling.

Another one that deserves it's very own post. So much to do...

Note to self: you asked for Jikook content, don't complain now that you got some.

Sam Smith's Unholy

I'm going to end this long ass post with some JK singing and dancing to Sam Smith's Unholy.

Because how better to end this with a diva JK?

Of course he'll know the choreo.

[wayfayrr]

Alright anons, we need to have a talk. Moss is too much of a sweetheart so I’m going to say it for them.

Get the hell out of their business.

I understand that some of you enjoy certain fics that were made by them, and are sad to see them go, but that doesn’t give you the right to try and repeatedly send asks regarding a particular Link.

Moss has been so kind and patient with you guys. More patient than other creators would be, that’s for sure. And do you read rules before coming into a person’s inbox? Because the way some of you guys have been acting, I’m not too sure.

Moss has made it clear that they are not interested in talking. They do not like repeating themselves. They’ve said it multiple times and yet they get ignored and stomped on.

“But I was just genuinely wanting to know-” It doesn’t matter. Genuine or not, asking something that is repeatedly told to stop asking about - which is declared on their pinned post that you failed to read - is saying enough about your ignorance to their wishes.

“They always place the warnings in the tags” Anon, come close for a quick second. Tumblr tags are an added space for thoughts. It’s free information about the person. It’s a part of what makes Tumblr, Tumblr. You can always blacklist the tags or block them if you want to. OR you can just not come to their blog anymore. Maybe even pretend they’re not there at all. You are responsible for yourself at the end of the day. But alas, the memo is not being get.

Besides, anyone with a sliver of a brain cell can see that they’re uncomfortable whenever someone brings them up. Whether they’re anon or not.

“Well, I’m not going to listen to you because you’re their friend so you’re biased” Isn’t being a friend of theirs, more reason to listen? Unless I’m giving you too much credit and you don’t understand friendship very well. In which case I recommend you watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Anons, if you’re so desperate to talk about him, then get off anon. Stop being scared. Let us know who you really are behind the facade.

This isn’t TikTok or Twitter/X. Pushing boundaries isn’t fun or cutesy. It’s disgusting.

I don’t care what age you are. You are not entitled to someone’s life and thoughts. No matter how buddy-buddy you think you are with them.

This behavior is inexcusable. Be better, anons.

I would like to add one small thing that is - I've been debating turning off anon because of the recent everything, I've settled for simply closing my askbox for now and taking a step away from posting before coming back when I'm not a hair away from deleting my entire blog because of it all. I'm so close to just nuking it because I'm just done, although all of the the people who respect me just have me coming back because I still care.

[wienersmosh]

done with the smosh membership. :)

i cancelled my membership a couple of weeks ago and here's why.

i was a smosh royalty member. as some of you know it comes with access to the official smosh discord server. i was never very active on it. in the ~5 months that i used it i only checked it a handful of times. i had not even opened the discord app since december 2023.

last month, i decided to open the app. it said that i was not a member of any servers and with the help of a couple of friends who were still members, we figured out that i was banned. (and just today i also found out that i had been banned from the youtube livechat, which i couldn't have known sooner bc i missed the past few livestreams.) one of them reached out to a well-known mod -- a popular smosh fan artist here on tumblr, iykyk -- and asked on my behalf why i was banned. the mod refused to say why, but it didn't matter. it was either i said something inflammatory to someone (doubt it, bc i was barely on it), or because i had been leaking members-only content which, to be fair to them, i have. and i'm 99% sure it was the latter.

now... i don't know for sure who snitched or how they managed to trace it back to my discord profile and youtube account -- but i have a theory. the platform i'm most active on is smosh twitter, where i did occasionally post bts photos, screenshots of bts videos and livestreams, and little clips here and there and included those clips in edits. but even so, i highly doubt it was from my twitter account that they traced back my discord and youtube. i don't have my discord handle anywhere on my twitter and vice versa. any mention or hints of my youtube account have long been buried bc i tweet 50 million times a day.

i'm not saying no one has snitched on me for my twitter account, i'm sure at least a few people have bc my account had 1.3k followers and it was public. what i'm saying is that it couldn't have been my twitter that linked back to my discord and yt. i have a hunch that it's this tumblr post with this ianthony edit of mine, which includes multiple clips of bts videos, that got me into trouble. when i posted it, my tumblr url was different to the one i have now, and my old url was similar to my discord handle and youtube display name, and i'm positive that's how they traced it back to me.

i'm not going to make outright accusations and name them specifically bc i have no concrete proof. but i have a strong hunch that it's a specific smosh fan artist here on tumblr who happens to be a discord mod that did this sleuthing and banned me. and the only thing i have to go off of is that they weirdly have me blocked here on tumblr despite me never interacting with them in any way that could be construed as harassment. all i ever did was dm them and ask if i could see ian's halo fanfics from back in the day. that's it.

and you know what? i can't be too mad about being banned. again, i rarely used discord, so it's not like i lost something that i used regularly, and i did break a rule. it's not like they banned me for no reason. i get it.

but the part that upsets, or i guess, confuses me is that after i had been banned from the discord and the livechat, i was still technically a member. i was still being charged $20 AUD/month and i still had access to all their bts content. banning me from the discord and livechat wouldn't have even stopped me from leaking their content. so it's like... what was the point? it definitely wasn't loss prevention. i can't help but feel that this was more of a social punishment than a legal one. i think if they hit me with a copyright notice i'd be less offended, bc then i'd get the message that this is just business to them and they can't let people steal. but banning someone from the community, so to speak, but not from paying for and accessing your content, seems like such a petty, mean girl, "you can't sit with us" kind of punishment? does this make sense? especially bc it's up to the mods' discretion which people to ban AND not every single person who has leaked content is even being punished.

idk. i know i'm in the wrong in a technical sense, but cracking hard on stupid shit like leaking photos and clips -- not even full videos being uploaded somewhere else -- makes me feel like they're turning fans against each other. those who can pay vs those who can't pay. rule breakers vs snitches. no wonder there aren't a lot of ianthony stans nowadays -- most of the content we want to discuss is behind a paywall now.

i just think there should be a difference between major leaks, like uploading entire videos for everyone to see for free, and fans still being able to make fan content out of bts stuff. bc why is including one-second clips in a 30-second edit enough to get someone banned? no one is watching my edit in lieu of signing up for a membership. it's literally free marketing to entice people to sign up but i guess they don't want that.

so... here i am now. i still love smosh, i still love ian and anthony, but i don't have to further support them as a business anymore beyond just watching their videos. banning me from engaging with the community but not from paying for their content and doing free publicity and marketing for them made it clear to me they did not see a human being behind the fan account. i was just a source of revenue to them.

goodbye, smosh membership. i'm still a fan, but i guess i wasn't that important.

[desultory-novice]

Another Lightning Round!

This time, we're answering:

-Borb Feet -Shadow Dedede and The Mirror World's Dream Fountain -Kirby Royalty -Soul of Kirby?! -Forgiving the "unforgivable" Dream Friends (a lo~ng post for an old ask!)

Hee hee! I'll tell you what, anon, at first, I wasn't sure how to take this comment (something I mentioned on stream) because getting good at drawing feet on the internet is... well...you know!

But given I myself started this by pointing out how bad I was at it with Galacta Knight, I really do appreciate the compliment! Next on my list.... borb hands. I've seen so many people draw Kirby's n-nubs (?) in ways that really make them look so marshmallow-y and fun!

-

Hello?! That idea of the Star Rod never getting repaired after Shadow Dedede broke it?! Fantastic! Imagine it drying up, and of course, the effects something like that would have on the mirror world!

(Has anyone else stumbled across that gorgeous but haunting series of "bad end" pictures a certain Kirby fan artist did on Twitter? I remember one had Dedede with a dried up Dream Fountain. That's very much what I'm visualizing here!)

Now, I vague~ly recall that there's some debate about the "darkness in his heart" part of the Shadow Dedede pause screen?  That the English version says it is Shadow Dedede who has to overcome his darkness whereas in the original, it is OUR Dedede who has to overcome his "shadow" that being Shadow Dedede.

...But just because it isn't saying that Shadow Dedede is trying to overcome something doesn't mean he doesn't represent a painful mark in both Dedede's histories. And such a "mistake" (unknown at the time) is an excellent possibility!

Lastly, thank you! The steady influx of lore and theories everyone drops into my inbox reminds me of my favorite parts of fandom in the old days and is a major treat!

-

This is NEAT! While they may not have known about each other in the past, you bring up a great point that after so many games, these various planets (dimensions? in the case of Fluff) are forging bonds with each other. Everyone likes the Galactic Star Alliance from the anime, right? What's interesting is that we kind of have a basis for such an "alliance" forming in our current Kirby-game verse!

Kirby has helped these monarchs get in contact with each other, becoming a link across multiple planets. So I think the idea of them getting together and talking now, in the present~post-game of Forgotten Land is a possibility! Let each other know if any suspicious activity is happening or if everyone is still doing all right.

Although that reminds me of something that came up in the stream... Since King Dedede is the "self-proclaimed" ruler of Dream Land... is there an ACTUAL ruler of Dream Land/Popstar waiting in the wings? Waiting for their return? Or sealed away even? (D-Dark Nebula, is that you?)

Either way, a meeting between those 5 sounds both intense and fun! I would love to come back to this idea with a sketch or illustration of some kind!

-

I'm digging into the backlog for some of these. Also, I can't believe I never answered this one?! Sorry if this ask is too old even for you, @emeraldcoloredwinter

(I'm also sorry in case I did in fact answer it in the past and can't find it - because Tumblr's search is really unreliable. If I repeat myself here, I'm sorry. If not and this turns out to be relevant...great!)

Frankly, I would love to see all kinds of soul lore expanded upon in future games. Partly because I have my headcanons as to why Sectonia/Pres. Haltmann died for realz versus why Marx and Magolor came back and if we get more tidbits, I can come closer to completing my conspiracy corkboard!!

(As well as figure out just where Drawcia lays in the current state of "canon." And maybe figure out some stuff about Zero, Zero 2 and the Dark Matters and what happened to them!)

On the one hand, I feel like Void did a rea~lly bang up job at feeling like you were battling the soul of Kirby. Or at least "a Kirby." I mean, seeing Kirby's face appear on Void, with all those childish movement patterns and that smile before defeat?

But Void was also composed of a variety of thoughts and feelings, so it wasn't exactly our Kirby. Then we've got the Shadow Kirby battles in Kirby Fighters 2, which also come somewhat close in concept, as you're fighting someone with the same ability set as you. That would be another good way to do it, I think.

But it still doesn't quite scratch that itch, does it? ... Now, I feel silly that I can't remember if this is a real thing or I'm just combining a bunch of games in my head (I-I may be old but I'm decades away from the point where I should have to fear being senile!!) but watching some Castlevania longplays... there was a part of one of the games where you go through one of the old castles, right? Maybe it wasn't in black and white, but it is in my memories.

And Kirby had a part like that too, in one of the games! At least, I think it did...? (Okay, maybe I AM going senile...)

:cough: That aside, something like those visuals above when combined with the feelings evoked by the 8-bit nostalgia portion of Void Termina's The Star Conquering Traveler Suite...

I can only imagine it would be sad. Maybe it would involve some kind of sacrifice or some kind of origin story. A time-travel game even? Something that takes us back to our favorite hero's beginnings. Despite it inevitably being THE penultimate fight, I can't picture it being a big dramatic battle so much as one of those interactive cutscenes, or something with never-seen-before-now gameplay elements. But it would feel like a true goodbye to the Kirby series. Oh, it might be able to continue on past that, just like things didn't end after the Star Allies completion picture either.

...But expect a lot of fears (and tears!) of something happening when it finally did.

Personally, I can't help but think Kirby's Soul would look like Retro Kirby or Popopo from Twinkle Popo. It might not even be called "Kirby's Soul" but have a more archetypical name like "Soul of a Traveler" or "Soul of Youth." 

...Soul of the Spring Breeze.

-

Another super old one. Gah, me and my slowness... The sad thing is, I had nine~ty percent of this written out a while ago but just didn't know how to finish it. I'm so sorry about that, @vexx-ation !

It was a really good ask though and I'm glad I gave it another shot. Now then, I think that in large part, this would boil down to who was most harmed by those characters and in what ways!

-

[Dark Meta Knight]

Dark Meta Knight is the biggest mystery because... DMK refuses (or can't) talk to anyone so we know nothing about his feelings. And we don't even know how he returned the first time after death (?)

Meta Knight is the one DMK has arguably hurt the most (excluding maybe Kirby) but I feel like Meta Knight is also the one who needs nothing from DMK to understand forgive them. It really all depends on where Dark Meta Knight is coming from. Was DMK a willing agent in Dark Mind's takeover? Then Meta Knight would be more hard on/untrusting of his shadow for certain. But being his mirror counterpart, I think he would take it as a sign of something lacking in himself. That he is only one step away from making such a turn. But if you, like me, think that the placement of certain objects and events in Amazing Mirror (Radish Ruins as DMK's "stage" and Shadow Kirby showing up one last time before you face off against DMK) are indicative that something more subtle is going on, Meta Knight may not even require an apology from DMK at all. Either DMK was manipulated or was attempting to manipulate the situation in the Mirror World's favor. In which case Meta would just silently nod and go on with his day.

Then there's King Dedede, who, at least in his own parallel mode, was seemingly attacked at random by DMK. That certainly puts them off on a wrong start, but I also think that Dedede would be able to eventually laugh it off and compare it some of his Meta Knight's more belligerent actions in the past (something that would probably fluster Meta Knight, as he wouldn't expect that comparison, mirror counterpart or no.) IE: I find it hard to believe the guy with a wrestling ring in his castle would hold an ambush against somebody for long, especially as he won.

It would take Bandee probably a bit to come to terms with the scary version of someone he most likely respects, but DMK has his cute (?) side too (like in his idle animation) so I think Bandee could come to accept DMK, especially after both Meta Knight and Dedede express that they no longer hold any hard feelings toward the dark knight.

Kirby would probably be the closest thing to a "holdout" here, only because Dark Meta DID ambush two of his friends (depending on the timelines) and he'd want to know that's not going to happen again. Afterwards though? DMK's right to be a part of the group is never questioned again!

-

[Susie]

Susie... ahhh, Susie. Let's just note that all the classic Susie discourse disclaimers go here and remind everyone once more that they're on a Susie-friendly blog and to some of you, what I am going to say may come off as being exceptionally "light" on Susie's crimes. It is what it is, however. If you want a brutal takedown of Susie, there are dozens of other blogs who will give it, I am certain. I can only go in-depth on things from my view of my Kirby-verse.

In random order: Bandee was the only one to not be incapacitated for large chunks of Planet Robobot's story and I believe that were the game to be remade in the modern style (or even had it been released on more powerful hardware than the 3DS) Bandee would have been a second player character just like in Forgotten Land. And if we assume that of him, then we can assume Bandee would have been exposed to Susie's entire plotline same as Kirby.

Bandee is, at least in the novel-verse (and it's not a bad HC in general) the most empathetic member of the Dream Team. Bandee can sympathize with and care about just about anyone. And Bandee might have been wondering if there was something going on with Susie before even Kirby started to see the cracks in the secretary's facade of corporate perfection.

While Bandee wouldn't like the things she, her father, and the HWC have done to Popstar, I think that once he sees where she's come from, his own anger would be tempered down. That everything reverts at the end (ironic (?) that everything is almost "magically healed" except the Haltmann's shattered family bonds) would be enough of a relief for Bandee that I think he could move on to looking at Susie as just a person. (And isn't he the one in the novel who gives her the pocketwatch back or am I mis-remembering that?)

I actually think Susie "as a friend" could be more intimidating to Bandee that Susie as an enemy. She's a sympathetic enemy. As a friend, she might be a considered too "extra" for the small warrior Dee! XD

On that note...I don't know why, but in most cases, I just see King Dedede as being very forgiving toward people in trouble. Oh, he will grumble about it to no end! But I don't see him EVER hurting anyone while they're down.

Of course, Dedede was also unconscious for 99% of Planet Robobot. Was he even awake when his DNA was stolen? Does he know? I mean, not knowing wouldn't be great at all, but I can't help but think that more than being harvested and bottled, his biggest concern, just based on his priorities, would be that his castle got destroyed AGAIN. Why can't the poor man keep a castle?! He didn't even do anything this time!! (Even the Halberd made it!) So, yeah, imagine a confrontation with Susie and Dedede and Susie tries to imagine all the things Dedede is going to call her out for and no, he's just upset about his castle getting wrecked. Susie is surprised he even cares about that "dinky, dusty old thing" and thus, a shouting match begins.

But again, I don't think it would last for too long. I think the things Dedede and Susie would clash on would be petty things. Dedede is pretty manly in his interests and Susie is very girly. They're blue and pink, even. I think Dedede would forget or just plain ol' not care about Susie's more "human rights" crimes and make MOUNTAINS out of the little things. Although they do share a love of machinery, and that might be something that would bring peace to the VERY petty disagreements. At least until Susie chastises Dedede for using "old parts" while Dedede goes on an old man rant about how those old parts are three times as reliable as all this easy to break new stuff! (Dedede is the equivalent of the guy who put his first car together by hand. Susie is the "born plugged in" type.) So, yes, they fight, but not for the reasons you think. ^^;

...As for Meta Knight, I think countless paragraphs have already been written on these two and most people know where I fall about now. Meta Knight, whether we saw it happen on screen or not, was able to figure out what Susie's deal was faster than anyone else, and while he didn't care for having his autonomy stolen (not to mention, I can't imagine he liked all the bulk of his un-asked for cybernetic upgrades. Mecha Knight is a tank. A stark contrast to Meta Knight's fast "here and away" style.) But if anyone in the entire FRANCHISE understands that sometimes your morals take a backseat for your goals, it would be him and now that the dust has cleared and the HWC was on the losing side with Susie as it's sole survivor (speaking brutally) there's no reason to be angry with her anymore. That said, I believe that, much like happens in the fandom, Meta Knight probably gets questioned fairly often (by people who know) if he's upset at Susie, with some not believing its possible he wouldn't be. But I really think to him, it's just something that happens when you're pushed into a corner.

What Meta Knight would care about is not what Susie has done in her past (to him) but what she does now.

...That said, I think he will find an "excuse" to be somewhere else when she looks at him with stars in her eyes and a wrench in her hand. (I am a firm believer that the Star Allies scene is meant to be taken comically, not seriously. I have nothing against Mecha Knight unwanted modification angst but that scene should not be your sole "proof" such a thing exists.)

And of course, as for Kirby, Kirby has already accepted Susie. He ran to her side when she was injured. He agreed with her request to stop Star Dream, and he accepted her invader armor. There's nothing else to forgive. Acceptance is freely given.

Lastly...

-

[Marx]

Marx is the silly one. Very silly. I think, on my first draft of this post (I made the choice to write it again from scratch rather than base it on my previous version, so that it was up to date with my current feelings) I took the concept of Marx and forgiveness very seriously, but then I booted up Star Stacker (SNES) again and remembered that the story began because one day, Dedede saw a sparkling star flying through the sky and decided, "I'm gonna shoot it with a cannon!" So, in case this needs to be restated...

The people of Dream Land are absolutely buck wild.

Probably, due to the comparisons with his spiritual successor Magolor, there's been a casual attempt to try and make a bigger deal out of the "ship in a bottle" events of Milky Way Wishes.

I don't want to be a hypocrite here. I'm a huge fan of "Let's try to expand on Marx's backstory, personality, and motivations using every tiny scrap we've got" and I do so relatively shamelessly. I love the idea that there might have been buckets and buckets of angst and pathos behind his decision to trick Kirby into bringing Galactic Nova into Popstar's orbit so he could kick our beloved puffball into the darkness of space and wish to make the planet his own...

...but do I think that those acts in a vacuum are on the same scale as what all the other big, bad, last bosses have done?

Not really.

Well, not like the modern villains. Marx is a bit more like Dark Meta Knight or Daroach in the breadth of his bad guy-ness. His act harmed very few people in practice. It could have gone on to harm more eventually, had it succeeded. It might have even been devastating! Similar to if Dark Mind's reach was allowed to expand into the peaceful non-Mirror Popstar. Or if Dark Daroach went on to rule as the second coming of the Lord of the Netherworld!

But... it wasn't. The clown's dreams lasted only a few brief minutes. To the people on the surface, Nova exploding probably looked like no more than a shooting star. ("Everyone make a wish!")

...The only person Marx needs forgiveness from, then, is Kirby. And that is the story of several hundred different fanfics and fan theories and frankly, I enjoy all of them because the ~potential~ dynamic these two characters share is one of my favorite things in the series.

And, leaving the "middle" of that journey for we, the fan creators to come up with, I believe we can at least say that, in the end, the two seem to have made up successfully.

...Now, there's still the question of would the rest of the Dream Team LIKE Marx or forgive him upon hearing what he did! I think Meta Knight would be wary of him for a lot of reasons. He's unexpected and uncontrollable. He hopped in to attack the group during the Star Allies credit sequence. But Meta Knight also (in an alternate timeline) thought wishing on Galactic Nova for a ridiculously selfish wish was a perfectly sane thing to do so I gather he would have little issue with Marx's ambitions, if not his actions. And as for his attempted murder of Kirby, Meta Knight is :cough: also guilty of that so yeahhhh. Maybe he doesn't LOVE the jester's antics or even tolerate them, but he wouldn't decry them from a moral high ground...?

I personally love the idea that King Dedede is headache-inducingly familiar with Marx. I like the idea that Marx might have even gotten his title of "jester" thanks to King Dedede. According to the Dedede Encyclopedia entries on twitter, Dedede had no idea about Marx's attempted takeover of Popstar nor did he know about Marx's "true form." Thus, it's easy to imagine that to Dedede, Marx is nothing more than another cute, silly resident of Dream Land, like the Waddle Dees. He may even treat Marx with the same paternal kindness he gives the Waddle Dees. At least until Marx goes a step too far!

TLDR, I love the version of their relationship as implied in the Kirby Storybooks, where Marx is one of "those troublesome kids" who teams up with Kirby to play harmless pranks on Dedede. It's so crazy wholesome, something that you can't always say about Marx!

...Lastly, Bandee... Oh, empathetic little Bandee. I feel like Bandee would probably be the one to eye Marx the most critically. Because Bandee has eyes on the ground level to NOT be fooled like Dedede nor so extreme that he can't hold Marx accountable like Meta Knight. I think Bandee is probably the closest to Kirby in seeing Marx for who Marx really is, but doesn't have the "complex" relationship Kirby and Marx does that inspires Kirby to forgive him no matter what he does.

Not that I think they fight or don't get along, necessarily. (In fact, the sudden spike (?) in MarDee - am I spelling that right? - shippers has rekindled my interesting in their dynamic) But I do think that while Marx is giving everyone his "Who? Meeee?" eyes, Bandee is off on the side giving Marx a narrow-eyed look of "You don't fool me."

But again, I think that honesty may be something that could turn into a kind of closeness they don't have with others! Plus, biased, but I also completely love, love, love the idea that the one Waddle Dee who is tired of being "just a Waddle Dee" and the one Noddy who is tired of being "just a Noddy" have an understanding that none of the naturally over-powered residents of Popstar can ever understand.

It's possible to write them as rivals or enemies. These two, quite frankly, could be very cool together in a variety of ways!

[dk-wren]

A Letter to the Me I Was Four Years Ago Today

Hey Dakota,

Or, perhaps, I should address you as *****. I don't think we were Dakota quite yet.

In a few weeks, your whole life is gonna change. Okay, maybe a bit hyperbolic compared to the situations other people are also about to experience. But, take your time and enjoy today.

Its leap day, an extra day to do something, so take advantage of this supposedly "extra day of magic." I know you worked hard to get your homework under control so we could see the new Magic Happens parade on its opening weekend.

I remember the joy of getting to text our good friend "Happy birthday" on their actual birthday and not figure out if I should text them on the 28th or the 1st. The anticipation of waiting in a crowd of people to see this new parade, which could possibly run for the next decade like its predecessor. And sharing the specialty sundae at Gibson Girl and some of the dishes at this year's Food and Wine Festival with Dad. That chicken in a waffle taco was so good.

Smile and take your mind off of the pile of work you know you still have waiting at home, the APs you should be studying for, not to mention your upcoming SAT. That Coco float is more beautiful than anything you could have imagined and the Moana float is just beautiful.

You don't know it, but this will be your last trip to Disneyland as an annual passholder, or really your last normal day off for a while. In two weeks the world's gonna shut down, and no amount of optimism we try to muster will keep that initial two weeks as two weeks. But before that, take my advice, you should definitely apply to that Life is Strange fanzine you saw on Twitter. Then, you'll finally know who Dakota is. And who knows what else you may discover on this path.

Also, what took you so long to start writing for you? I know junior year of high school is not known for students having a lot any free time, but if this is what you wanna do for the rest of your life, you gotta start sooner than later. And hey, call me a hypocrite, I know I'm still trying to find a good work/life balance. But we're getting to use our free time in a way that makes us happy and productive. Just keep writing.

Over the next four, really two, years, you're gonna lose contact with a lot of friends. But the two who you do stay in contact with, let's just say you wouldn't wanna be (occasionally) texting with anyone else. They are gonna make you feel safe to be yourself and introduce you to some future obsessions. One of them will be the inspiration for the first piece you write truly for you and for fun. And they're gonna be so supportive when you tell them about what you've been up to/asking their help for.

There's gonna be a lot of rough nights and disappointments before you graduate. And the decision of what to do about college, let those tears fall. There's no need to keep holding those emotions in. It's a tough choice and while I'm still in the middle of it, who's to say I made the right decision. But, I can tell you this, you are gonna be so much happier when you start college. Maybe it's not the experience your sibling had or you dreamed of, but you are gonna fall in love with a whole new city with so much to do (and so little time!). And not to be narcissistic, but I know how proud you would be to see all the things I've done so far in my coursework.

Keep listening to that voice telling you to go for it. You're gonna start writing for some of your favorite fandoms (including ones that you'll meet down the line - I'm so excited for you to watch BD and TS for the first time). Then you're gonna join Tumblr, then AO3, and who knows what's next. Some incredibly sweet people will interact with the things you made (yes, you!) and you'll be introduced to so many talented writers and artists on here! Literally, every day I come across multiple fanarts and fics that I can't help but stare at cause they are sooo good!

I know I skipped over a lot of exciting (and not so exciting) things, but that's for you to discover and enjoy in the moment. Enjoy this moment of happiness, and don't let yourself get too consumed with all the things out of your control. I think the parade is just about to start over at It's a Small World. Take care. We'll meet again soon.

Love,

Dakota Wren 💜

[fairycosmos]

Can you and your followers let me know if I'm be dramatic by being upset about this? Sorry for how long this is and for it being worded like a reddit AITA post.

A very close friend (as in I've known her for 5 years, we lived together during uni, etc etc) and I made plans back in like January to see a musical in August and we already bought tickets (which are expensive) and I've been openly very excited about it because it's a musical I've wanted to see for a while. Then, in May, she met this guy (now her boyfriend) and after a few weeks of knowing/casually hanging out with him, he asked her to go with him on a trip the same weekend we were planning to see the musical. And she agreed. Now, despite the fact that I've easily been her closest friend throughout uni (and I literally would always cook for her and clean after her without reciprocation) she has deliberately avoided telling me about any details regarding her relationship and also didn't tell me about the fact that she's bailing on our plans. She told another Mutual Friend and told her to not tell me because she wanted to break the news herself. But that Mutual Friend did end up telling me because one day I was ranting about how she's been keeping me out of the loop of her new relationship and barely speaking to me. So I knew for a month now that she's bailing on these plans and was just waiting for her to openly tell me. Then yesterday she accidentally revealed it without realizing in a group chat, and when I asked her privately she didn't even say sorry she just said that she completely forgot and got the dates mixed up. Which I know isn't true.

On top of that, two weeks ago was my birthday, and around like 7pm, I told Mutual Friend that this friend hadn't wished me yet. And she got really upset about it but I didn't want to make it into a big deal. And then that friend ended up wishing me at 11:30pm and said she was at training all day at work, which I knew was bs because who trains for 12 straight hours and because I literally saw on Twitter that she had tweeted multiple times earlier that day so she had access to her phone. But I let it slide. And yesterday, Mutual Friend revealed to me that she actually had to remind this friend that it was my birthday because she was afraid the day would pass by without her wishing me and didn't want my feelings getting hurt. Am I crazy for letting all this upset me? I'm happy that she's found a boyfriend but she's literally been icing me out since then. It's normally very difficult for me to get my feelings hurt and I feel so dramatic being this upset about a birthday wish and a cancelled plan but idk. I want to confront her about it but I've been told that I should just keep my distance for a while.

hey i don't think you're an asshole for this - something that did cross my mind is that maybe ur friend is in a sort of controlling or unhealthy relationship with this person? just based on how shes been isolated from you, someone who is rly close to her, and how distant she's been since getting with the guy. ofc that's a very worrying and nuanced situation to have to confront and that's a big assumption on my part -it truly may not be the case, and even if it is, obviously as an outsider looking in obviously there's only so much you can do to try to get through to her. butttt if right now it just seems like she's gotten into a new relationship and put your friendship with her entirely on the backburner with no explanation, then i think your feelings of anger and hurt are entirely understandable. i've honestly been there myself so many times like when girlfriends get boyfriends and suddenly you're basically invisible to them. it's sooo discouraging and hurtful and you feel like a freak for being sad about it but still you're sad about it. and while obviously people's priorities change when they get into a relationship, it's not ok to neglect all of your friendships just bc you're seeing someone, you know? i completely see why you're upset and i don't think you need to feel like you've done something wrong for simply questioning her recent behaviour. especially when it comes to that expensive gig!!! she should've had the respect to come to you herself about that if she was cancelling, point blank. i would be pretty pissed myself in ur shoes. it's obviously entirely up to you where you go from here, and i guess i can't answer that part for you as i don't know the ins and outs of your circumstances + dynamic with her -- but whatever you need to do to ensure you have your own best interests at heart here is alright. whether it's taking time or talking to her or a mixture of both. and btw this is just my singular perspective ofc so maybe im wrong or missing something. sending so um grain of salt and all that, but yeah that's how i see it. sending a huge hug your way. x

[irkimatsu]

I don't know if this question has already been asked so I apologize in advance for the inconvenience! how did you find out about Hazbin hotel? and what charmed you about husky ? :3

Nope, hasn't been asked before! There's actually a long process on this one! Story time!

First time I heard about Hazbin Hotel was when the pilot came out; Twitter was buzzing about it, and that already might have drawn me in, because "dark musical comedy with fantasy elements and themes of forgiveness and redemption" is already right up my alley and I could feel the Jhonen Vasquez inspiration radiating off the character designs. But what really tipped me off was a friend of mine, Lauri; she was particularly excited about it, and I trust her taste, so I jumped in. (Helps that her favorite is Alastor, who reminds me a lot of another character we bonded over back in the day. Seems we have a "she likes a sadistic bastard and I like the guy held emotionally captive by him" thing going on.) And I loved it! Wasn't super invested just yet, but I did really hope it'd be a full series someday. Don't think I really noticed Husk at this point. I was still deep in Osomatsu-san brainrot, so if anything I probably just went "haha cranky cat, it's like Ichimatsu" and then moved on from him. Favorite at this point was actually Charlie, and she's still a close second. Loved and wanted more of Charlie from day one. She has such magical girl vibes, I love her

Helluva Boss pilot dropped, what, a month later? Watched that because I liked Hazbin and holy shit is that Richard Horvitz. Richard Horvitz said fuck. Okay clearly I need to keep up with this one. And so I did! Avoided its presence on the Internet like the plague, though, because it's a fucking dumpster fire in there and I didn't feel like writing multiple well-sourced essays defending myself for liking a web cartoon that says fuck and makes jokes about murder. Watched it in secret, basically, aside from the occasional fanart reblog. It wasn't a hyperfixation yet, just a fun thing to watch every time a new episode dropped. Catchy music, Moxxie and Blitzo are my boys, it's a fun little side hobby, hey what if the Matsuno brothers started an assassination business in hell-

(Somewhere in here I watched "The Good Place" from start to finish, which isn't super relevant, just that the reason I started watching it was because I thought, hey, isn't that show about redeeming sinners? That's what Hazbin's about! I think I really like that concept, so I'll check it out! Two very different shows, but they're both dear to me because god I need forgiveness narratives, especially in today's social hellscape.)

2024, and I find out that the Hazbin series is finally out because Twitter won't shut the fuck up about how "Poison" is homophobic and victim-blaming or whatever. My main thought is, of course, "oh shit, that's finally out! time to watch it!", not believing any of the criticisms because I already decided years ago that the Internet is fucking stupid about this franchise. First four episodes were up at this point. Watched it fully expecting to enjoy it, but not really expecting to get too invested, still assuming I'll never talk about it online because I just do not need to deal with that shit. Still love Charlie, and the rest of the cast charms me quickly - especially Husk, because in the main series he quickly proves to have more to him here than the pilot let on. Hazbin really said, here, have a scrungy old cat with emotional trauma. I gobbled that shit up immediately.

And then " Loser, Baby" happened. Husk's dancing. Husk's singing voice. Husk's attitude of "yep, shit sucks, we screwed up, there's no use denying it or downplaying it but we're not getting anywhere if we wallow alone in our own misery", that theme of redemption and hope I wanted from this show from the start, here he was exemplifying it. I watched that scene on YouTube constantly, fully expecting to fall in love with Huskerdust. I did, for about five minutes.

And then I realized, fuck, I'm not actually in love with this ship, I'm in love with Husk. So much so that despite my misgivings, I couldn't just keep my mouth shut about how much I love this show, especially how much I love Husk. But no way in hell am I saying that on Twitter, people suck over there, and besides, the character limit isn't enough for all the rambling I wanted to do. So I dusted off my Tumblr blog and quickly became unhinged.

And now I'm here!

[dream-critical]

Where can I honestly read this?? I don't have Twitter, but I need to see what was written for myself because it sounds golden

For you fellow Tumblr user? I have copy pasted the entire thing.

"this post is going to get a tiny bit personal, so if you’re not in the mood to be a little upset probably best to not read it, though it’s about the community drama right now.

When me and my friends started working on the United SMP, the QSMP had not been announced at all and Quackity had kept things very close to his chest with what he was working on.

We were all probably thinking the same general thing, we need another Minecraft server to play on. The idea was just to have a server to be able to just hop on Minecraft and play survival Minecraft again, and after squidgame we all agreed that it would be awesome to have it be creators from around the world.

So I instantly started working on the translation mod, and was really excited to storyboard ideas for the SMP! Calling with lots of creators about it, expressing excitement and brainstorming and really getting excited to play Minecraft again.

After the QSMP was announced I was surprised and reached out to quackity expressing support for the project and letting him know I was working on something to bring creators from around the world together too, and that we should chat about it!

His SMP announcement didn’t mention any translation stuff, and was English and Spanish based so I still was thinking that conceptually they were different enough to co-exist, and even was hoping to share the mod with Quackity if he was interested in using it.

Quackity didn’t reply to me at the time, and obviously I assumed it was due to being overwhelmed and busy with the QSMP and all the messages he was probably getting.

I reached out to multiple members of the QSMP that I’m close with after quackity didn’t reply to me, and got varying reassurance from them that the QSMP was a passion project to bring Quackity’s two biggest communities of English and Spanish together, and that the servers were completely different with hardly any creator overlap or idea overlap based on what I was planning.

Those creators even all expressed strong interest in playing on both, and excitement about all the communities coming together, and this new ERA of SMPS. I expressed my interest in sharing the mod with Quackity to them, and how I would be giving it to the public for free, and asked for advice on how I should approach him about it without him feeling like I was trying to butt my way into his project or something.

after talking with them though, it really encouraged me to continue working on the idea, with the idea that it wouldn’t really be a me thing, that there would be 6 other owners and it could be a big community project, with an open source translation mod to bridge the community together.

On my original owners list, Quackity was actually the idea for the “owner” from the Spanish community, as this was before I knew anything about the QSMP, and I wanted every language to have a figure to make decisions so it wasn’t just one guy making decisions.

I figured at this point he probably wouldn’t be interested though, and thought that was fair enough obviously with his new SMP. Then I uploaded my translation mod video, which was planned as an April Fools joke, and posted a simple little promotional photo graphic.

The next day Quackity announced a translation mod for the QSMP, with the same functionality, and obviously with the same general idea of bridging that language gap even more by literally live translating! I can’t pretend that I wasn’t a little bit taken aback, and even slightly disappointed as I knew this would probably lead to drama.

But at the same time I was also super excited and hopeful for the future of Minecraft content, I was excited to share ideas, potentially share development to make things even easier and better for the community, and just have a cool thing to talk about with Quackity that we both worked on and were clearly passionate about. Ideas and work like that are really hard to put together and take time, passion, and dedication.

I reached out to Quackity again, expressing support and laughing about the fact that we had such similar ideas. He hadn’t replied to my previous message, and didn’t reply to that one either.

I bumped him, mentioning that a lot of vitriol was building between our fan bases because of this, and suggested that we talk about it and work out what to do so we can avoid everyone being at each others throat.

All the hatred and in-fighting of communities can be avoided with creators communicating and setting boundaries and so on. After days went by, I bumped again going over the timeline of everything because I had the thought that maybe he was frustrated with me and thought that I had stolen his idea or something.

Still no response so I reached out to other friends of ours who were having the same communication struggles, so I figured it wasn’t a me thing.

I bumped him again a week or so later, expressing my love for him and that an SMP wasn’t worth hurting our friendship over and that I had no intention of competing with him or trying to copy any of his ideas.

To “at least talk to me man! I don’t want to have any problems between us I love ya & I tried avoiding anything like this from happening, idk what the best resolution is but it’s definitely not silence between us” Still no responses, and at that point I was very stressed and concerned about it, so members of the QSMP and non members that were friends of mine attempted to reach out to get clarity or figure out what was going on.

From what I gathered, there were no responses, and it was strongly alluded from Q that you wouldn’t be allowed to play on both servers if you were a part of the QSMP.

Which totally makes sense for Quackity, as there’s not that many creators on the QSMP and it takes a lot of time to make all the mods and updates for content and you want it to be as active as possible.

I was still incredibly confused, and I continued to reach out and have even put my project on hold to try and work out what was going on behind the scenes and extend love & support to quackity and everything he has done publicly.

as only a couple weeks before this happened we were all still joking and talking in calls, playing in events together, texting & chatting, and my assumption would be that we are all still really good friends and that this is just a big misunderstanding with a lot of lack of communication between Quackity & all of us.

That being said, I’ve seen the communities split against each other and have tons of hate build around this and around the speculations of peoples motives and friendships and so on, and it’s really really harmful to the community as a whole.

I have seen more threats, doxing, fights, slander, and hate between a bunch of fan bases that I’ve seen in a very long time. I personally have experienced an elevated level of in real life threats & stalkers & even had the police involved in somebody showing up at my house, & even putting trackers on my family vehicles, surrounding this drama, for the first time since pre-face reveal.

That’s really why I feel like I have to say something about it despite me wanting to avoid any kind of serious talk about all of this, especially even talking about communication publicly feels wrong but necessary in this instance.

I never like to air out anything that feels or is private, but I feel like in this case it’s really important for my fan base to be aware of my intentions, motives, thought process, and how we got to where we are.

I’ve always been a creator that’s very open with my fan base about everything going on in my life and this is a massive thing right now for my friends & me & is something an outsider might not really understand what’s going on and I feel clarity is important.

So like I said, it’s really not worth all the drama. I want to play Minecraft with friends again and really can’t wait to start doing it again soon.

The United SMP concept will be changed so that it’s again different enough from the QSMP to not compete with it, and keep the main goal of uniting creators from around the world to just simply play vanilla Minecraft.

so the original “10 creators from each language, these languages”, etc is going to be changing to a different structural format due to the QSMP announcements, as I really don’t want them to be conceptually so similar and had no idea they would be.

My intention was never to try and compete with another SMP, cause any friendship problems, or cause drama in the community, it was just to have fun and put out cool unique content. Just remember, this is all about uniting the world and communities and sharing positivity around the world.

I love everything that Quackity’s done and I really believe this is a big miscommunication that we’ll all be able to laugh about down the line together. I don’t support any hate towards anyone, any form of doxing, threats, harassment, racism, is unacceptable and you’re not welcome in our community if you think otherwise.

I will continue to say that I have the upmost respect for Quackity as a creative mind, a hard worker, and a person, and don’t want anyone trying to take things I do and compare them to his work to put him down or to pit us against each other.

My hope is still that quackity sees this and knows that no one’s ever meant any ill will, we love him, and that his friends are trying to reach out to him and know what’s going on and are proud of everything he’s done."

[heeheesang]

xoxo cupid crush

ep. 3

scary

"so, you and sunwoo huh?" haerim asks with a smirked plastered on her face as i closed my locker, she's been saying that ever since sunwoo saved me from getting beaten up, it's been a whole week.

"haerim, we're friends. he helps me and i help him," i announced to the two in front of me as we started walking to class, "yeah sure... but why're you so awkward around his friends?"

"they kinda scare me, they look at me with those eyes you know? it's really, intimidating." i opened the door to class and almost bumped into someone who was heading out.

"oh my days, i'm sorry!" i quickly ducked my head and headed straight to my seat. i wasn't late today, mainly because the three of us had a sleepover at haerim's house and her mother drove us to school.

"intimidating? like what?" haerim asked as soon as we sat down. "dude i don't know, they just scare me. they all talk crap about other people so like what if they talk crap about me too?" i asked and scratched my arm, a habit i always did whenever i felt anxious.

"i'm sure they don't, i've seen the way—"

"jang yeongji!" sunwoo and his two friends suddenly made their way to me, sunwoo trying to hold them back but they suddenly came to my table and laughed a little before my whole life flashed before my eyes.

"so you're thinking of dropping out of school?" one of them, the english speaker, asked me and my jaw dropped, thankfully i was using a mask.

"you're dropping?!" haerim and yujin yelled in confusion and i stood still, looking down at my lap as the teacher came in and started her lesson.

how would he know..? i only posted that in my close twitter page that has haerim, wonyoung, yujin, hyuck, and sunwoo. of course it was him, he's in my twitter page, of course he would spill everything to his friends.

"are you okay?" haerim asked and placed her hand on my shoulder, i nodded and took in a deep breath before paying attentiom to the rest of class.

soon enough, the class bell rang and it was break time. we had break for three hours today since one of the classes got cancelled so i bought food and brought it to the dance studio open for students. as soon as i finished eating, i tied my hair up in a quick bun and played songs to warm up a little.

hae : hey, yujin & i know you're stress dancing but please take it easy on yourself. we'll meet you outside the dance studio and we'll go to class together <3

yujin : ^^ take care of yourself ji, maybe we can talk about that another day okay? <3

sunwoo : yeongji

sunwoo : i'm sorry, i didn't know they looked at my phone

sunwoo : i was sleeping and they probably sneaked in my house to prank me or something but i think i left my phone unlocked

sunwoo : i'm sorry, please get back to me as soon as possible :(

my phone rang multiple times as i danced my heart out, soon enough tangling my own legs and falling down, wincing as my whole body hit the floor. i let out a few tears and sobs before just laying down on my bag and listening to songs while reading a book i had written but never told anyone about it.

soon enough, someone knocked on the door and i sat up immediately, pretending to fix my hair.

"sorry~ we're here to practice," it was some of sunwoo's friends, their names are changmin, juyeon, and hyunjae.

"it's fine, i was just resting at the side..." my voice grew softer as they started dancing and they were actually really good. especially changmin, he was the chairman of dance club anyway and i was co-chairman.

"how was that?" changmin asked as soon as they ended and made eye contact with me through the mirror.

"it's really good, never seen anybody dance to tempo that well except for exo themselves." i said, clapping a little before changing my attire at the small changing room at the side of the dance room and coming back just to sit at my same spot.

"thank you, we worked really hard~~" juyeon said as he collapsed on the floor next to me and drank his water.

"no kidding, that's one of the best dances i have ever seen." i complimented and they all formed a circle around me.

"i heard what happened with eric, haknyeon and sunwoo. i apologise on eric's behalf, he's really... reckless." hyunjae said as i let out a soft and short laugh of relieve, "no problem, now the whole class knows my plans for the future." i said sarcastically.

"do you really plan on dropping? whose gonna be my co-chairman?" changmin pouted and i hit his shoulder playfully, "you have juyeon!"

"no thanks, you're the only one who can handle changmin's sudden change of emotions..." juyeon defended himself.

"did sunwoo say anything?" hyunjae asked.

"he just apologised and asked me to text him asap." i replied and they all nodded.

we continued talking and had fun until haerim and yujin came to pick me up and go to class together. can't wait to spend another dreadful hour in biology (sarcasm)

ep. 2 | ep. 4

masterlist

[gateskp]

This is a story followers from Twitter and BSky know, but since I'm getting into Tumblr, I figured I'd share.

I'm very much in love with my best friend from college. He is the unrequited love of my life. I refer to him as The One I Love. And tonight I fell in love with him all over again.

In college, people thought we were dating because we were (and still are) so close. We did have class together every single day for a full semester and then class together multiple times a week for semesters after that. We'd hang out in the bio student lounge and watch TV on his laptop together. I made him a Pokeball birthday cake for his 21st birthday because he is a ridiculous nerd and loves Pokemon (no shade, I'm also a ridiculous nerd). When we had evening classes that ended at 9pm, I'd drive him home to make sure he got home safe and quickly. He made me laugh and smile and enjoy, y'know, living, which was something I didn't always enjoy in college.

We...did a lot of things that could definitely be construed as couple activities. But we were not a couple. Just very close, excellent complements of each other, with a hint of feelings on my part.

Side note: It's actually fairly entertaining to look back on because in our practical lab classes, our professors deliberately paired us up because we worked so well together (the assumption being because we were a couple).

Side note 2: He is a very attractive guy imo, and I semi-jokingly call him a ridiculously hot nerd. I'm queer and fall somewhere in ace land, so I do enjoy admiring him but there's nothing sexual about our relationship. Which I think has helped it in a good way.

He calls me every week and we talk. Like. For 2-3 hours *every week*. This has been going on for literally 2 years. Originally he started calling me to talk about shows we were watching, but now we talk about anything and everything. There's a lot of venting about grad school (we're both PhD-ing) and just...being there for each other. I love it. He listens to me ramble and he tells me stories and interesting tidbits and whatever. It's very give-and-take. Our weekly calls strengthened and cemented my feelings for him.

He knows my feelings because 2 years ago (?? how has it been that long) I wrote him a(n 8 page) love letter conveying my feelings and that led to a very awkward conversation about how feelings were not returned. I still think we use different language to describe similar things BUT ANYWAY. I respect that we don't see things the same way, much as it may hurt. That's what it means to love someone, respecting their feelings and experiences and personhood.

Side note 3: I have this secret fantasy about what our future could look like and I'm not going to let it go until there's no hope at all. He is one of the most important people in my world, and I truly only want the best for him. His health and happiness is tantamount to nothing, and whatever role I play in that, so be it. If he found another person who brought him even a fraction of the feelings he brings me, I'd officiate the wedding myself. What matters more than anything else is that I have my closest friend in my life and we remain close. Whatever it takes...

What's amazing(?) is that our relationship...it's gotten even stronger since then. That conversation was...A Lot...but I think it made whatever we have even stronger. It definitely didn't get worse.

I look forward to to our calls. They're part of my routine, I deliberately set aside this time on Thursday nights for him. I do not allow things to be scheduled for Thursday nights. Thursday nights are for The One I Love and no one else.

When we're talking to each other...I feel connected to another person. The world exists outside of my day-to-day bubble. I feel like...when I talk to him, I feel like there's a person who cares about what happens to me.

One night a couple of years ago I told him about my mental health struggles. It was something I don't think he fully recognised I was dealing with in college. But I was really struggling and having a hard time and I just couldn't pretend everything was okay on the phone. So I asked him if I could tell him, he said yes, so I told him everything. And it was really hard for me to do that, there was a lot of starting and stopping and stuttering (I stutter a lot anyway, this was worse). And at the end of it all, I told him that I knew what I just said was a lot and I understood if he needed some space or didn't want to talk for a while or whatever, because that's how people reacted in the past. There have been people who've decided to stop being friends with me because this is too much, and I understood if he felt that way because it's a lot. I wouldn't hold it against him.

And he just said "I'm still here." He said he wasn't going anywhere. And he hasn't.

More than once I've made self-deprecating jokes because how else does one deal with their terrible mental health and he reminds me that he cares. He has confidence in me when I don't. Once I texted him on a Friday night and told him to tell me something good that happened to him that day because I was having a really tough night and needed to hear something positive was happening in the world. He responded by calling me and being there for me.

We trust each other with things that no one else knows. It means the world to me that he'll tell me things that he won't tell anyone else, and I will take his secrets to the grave. Trust is...complicated for me. But I trust him. He won't hurt me. It's something I've had to really come to terms with, here is someone who I can be vulnerable around who won't hurt or manipulate me.

Last year I saw him for the first time since 2017 and it was like no time had passed at all. We spent 4 days together. I took him to see his first Broadway show, Hadestown, which was the only show he's ever been really eager to see. He took me to see SPACE at the Illuminarium because he knows how much I geek out over space, how awe-inspiring I find it. He talked me out of dropping $700 on a Flash comic, which was extremely wise. I tried and failed to cook, which he doesn't let me forget. He got me hooked on anime, which was apparently his deviously secret plan all along (which shocked me but I absolutely love it). I "made" him split half a gallon of Blue Bell ice cream with me because I hadn't had it in years (it took 0 effort, the man has no control when it comes to sweets and I tease him about it constantly). We helped his friend move. We sat on the couch on our laptops silently enjoying each other's presence.

It was truly the best long weekend I've had in who-knows-how-long. If the rest of my life looked like that weekend, I think I would be happy. Genuinely wonderfully happy and enjoying life.

The day I had to leave, I completely lost it. He gave me a goodbye hug and I completely broke down on his shoulder because I'd just had the best weekend in living memory and was going back to my quickly-approaching preliminary exam and having issues with my advisors. He knew all of this. I sobbed on his shoulder, and he held onto me. He didn't let go until he knew I stopped crying and was safe to drive. (I cried on and off the entire 7 hours drive)

I have pictures of us from this trip on my desk in lab, and they always make me smile, they have so much positivity associated with them. They also made it onto my Christmas card.

I'm going to see him again next month when I run the marathon in his city. We have a growing list of things to do which is entirely dessert places he wants to take me to, because we both love dessert and sweets. Tonight we were talking about when I might come down. I told him it's completely up to him because he has to put up with me and my bullshit. The race is on a Sunday, so I'd come down as early as the Tuesday before.

He doesn't know his schedule yet because science and experiment timing can be tricky. But he might be taking Wednesday off. He said he already plans on spending all day Thursday with me.

Tonight I fell in love all over again.

[fuzzarchive]

Thinking about where I plan to go once Tumblr finally dies. I’ve pretty much already accepted that Tumblr is gonna die, I knew that the rate at which people were buying blaze, checkmarks, crabs, ad-free browsing, etc. was not enough to cover Tumblr’s operating costs and I knew the amount of people purchasing those features was not going to rapidly increase anytime soon.

One thing I know for sure is that I am DEFINITELY not going back to Twitter, it was a cesspool even before Elon Musk bought it. TikTok is off the table for me as well, naturally. Instagram is a platform where you can only post things and reply to other people’s posts, it doesn’t have any option for you to share posts onto your account for the people who follow you like with reblogging or retweeting as far as I’m aware, and I would prefer to use a platform that circulates content in that way rather than relying entirely on an algorithm. Basically none of the other “big platforms” are a very good option for me.

The two places I think I’ll use are Pillowfort and the fediverse (well, the fediverse isn’t really a place, but rather a collection of places).

Pillowfort was created to be a clone of Tumblr, except it is non-profit and runs entirely on donations (it also allows you to post nsfw content, if that appeals to you). It used to be in closed beta and you had to pay $5 in order to sign up, but now it is in open beta and it has a wait list that allows you to sign up for free. It has the main perks that Tumblr has, such as tags that are separate from the body of the post and no character limit, but there are a few features that Tumblr has that Pillowfort still lacks, such as asks and being able to queue posts and being able to run multiple blogs. I already have an account on Pillowfort, I just haven’t been using it much since, well, I haven’t been able to find any of my friends or mutuals on there. If we’re mutuals and you have a Pillowfort account or are planning to create one, please let me know so I can follow you!

As for the fediverse, there’s a variety of different fediverse software out there that is used to mimic other popular platforms. For example, PeerTube is a YouTube-like, PixelFed is an Instagram-like, Funkwhale is a SoundCloud-like, and Mastodon and Misskey are both Twitter-likes. I can’t seem to find any fediverse software that’s really comparable to Tumblr, though. Maybe there will be a demand for one once Tumblr is finally on its deathbed and somebody will make one then. I really hope a Tumblr-like complete with asks and the ability to queue posts and such gets made eventually, federated Tumblr instances sounds awesome. Right now I’m currently on a Calckey instance called stop.voring.me, though I have considered running my own private instance for just me and my irl friends if they are up for it. If you’re confused as to what the fediverse is, how federation works or what the appeal of it is, here’s a video that I think explains it quite nicely. Also, if we’re mutuals and you’re anywhere on the fediverse where your instance is able to federate with the one I’m on, let me know so I can follow you!!

I didn’t make this post to announce that I’m leaving Tumblr or anything, it’s still the place where I spend most of my time online and I’m going to be here until its last day of operation. I just made this post because I’ve been thinking about how hard it will be for me to adapt once Tumblr is gone and to sort of make a plan for it, and to encourage other people to start making plans as well and start thinking about how they’re gonna stay in contact with their mutuals once Tumblr is gone.

I don’t use Pillowfort or the fediverse a whole lot right now, but that’s because right now everyone is still on Tumblr. I can’t get my friends and mutuals to follow me to these other places right now, and the likely reason for that is because they’re not gonna be able to get their friends and mutuals to follow them there for the same reason. I suspect that will change very quickly once the plug on this website is finally pulled, and on those sites it will become a lot easier for me to find people as people flock to those sites. I’m still going to miss Tumblr though, and I want to find as many of the people that I commonly interact with on Tumblr as I possibly can on these other sites so that I can still preserve the online space that I’ve spent all this time curating for myself at least somewhat.

[mettic]

Talking about multiplayer games 2022

Hi, I don’t really talk about this much because I mostly do it on twitter, but for the past two years or so I got active on backloggd because I enjoy writing in depth about video games but wont pretend that I have the speech ability to start a video game essay youtube. Feel free to read some of those if you want, I put more time into them than I should

However those who did click it might've noticed that I don’t really put stuff out on multiplayer based games. It’s not that I don’t play them; I play a lot really, but I have a hard time leaving a permanent review on multiplayer games just because of how the modern multiplayer games are; if you game is not actively updated it dies and is left in the dust. Every multiplayer game, even if it doesn’t call itself one, is a live service game, and live service games have to be iterated on constantly, it’s just the nature of the beast. How do you put a review on something that might radically change in a year from now? 

But I do want to talk about multiplayer games i put a decent amount of time into; but backloggd doesn’t have liek an individual journel entry thing i think and twitter doesn’t have the character limit for it, so I wanted to talk about multiplayer focused games I put time into this year  in this post. check it out under the cut

Lets just peel the Bandaid off real quick

Fortnite

fuck me. 

I think everyone has a character that fortnite will put into the game and it’ll break the camel’s back and you go “alright, i gotta see whats going on” and install it. for me it was vegeta.

It’s all an elaborate bait. They lure you in with truly outrageous crossovers; like shonens? we got DBZ, naruto and now MHA. Your favorite game characters? we got a lot of them; and god help us if they managed to make a deal with nintendo. You like marvel? cuz baby we Got Marvel. And the trap they lure you into with the bait? it’s that... fortnite is a good game?

Fortnite just hits a wonderful level of casual while still being a game where you can solo queue. The game just loves adding or rotating in weird stuff and it conjoins into a truly unique experience, while still having solid gunplay and honest 1v1s.

I’ve caught people filling gas with a pumpkin themed rocket launcher, turning them and the entire gas station into dust. In squads we set up a bounty, all four of us got on our own motorcycles and bows and chased them half way through the map like we were modern day mongels. I downed someone, picked them up, and had my friend with the bow that shoots poison gas shoot a cloud at my feet so I can smoke a dude out to death in my hands, which irl would likely be a for real warcrime. I can’t get this anywhere else.

other short thoughts: the game’s story setup of an island where realities crash together does wonders for the games skins. Outside of the collab stuff the skin parameters jsut being “a human body shape”  means they have full freedom to do whatever they want with skins; and this game has better original skins that most games on the market, there’s something you like in it. 

Part of the game’s success is its ability to just pump out content faster than any other game on the market, almost to the detriment of the entire gaming scene. The game rotates in new stuff almost every single week. Season 4 almost feels like a brand new game. Every other games output factor feels sluggish comapred to fortnite, which isnt fair because they make a bazillion dollars a day.

Also all of this is because of no build. Every time i’ve played gamemodes with build I find building just a straight detriment to the game. I would not of gotten into this game if I didnt get into it when no build was in the game; something that i’m pretty sure epic realizes. add no build royal rumble NOW

Fortnite unfortunately rules on multiple fronts

Gundam Evolution

Gundam Evo is a fun game with just the most annoying progression/monetization on earth.

Gundam is fun, fast, with cool characters even though I mostly just wanted to play methus/unicorn. Coming off the OW2 beta where i played for one evening with friends and didnt feel like playing it again into evo felt like night and day. Felt more frag heavy, far less CC/shield shooting, everyone’s got dashes, far less dependant on mmo tank/healer/dps focus in shooting game for some reason lead fora very fun time.

It still had overwatch problems; sometimes a team pops 3 ults at the same time and you just gotta give it up, lower skill team mates makes the game extremely hard and lop sided, ect ect but I still greatly enjoyed it more than OW2 and is one of the funner games in terms of pure shooting

however, the F2P aspect of the game basically killed it for me. The currency to buy units (and loot boxes) is limited to just rewards from the battlepass; of which giving how the first two went will require you to reach almost the end of the BP to get enough currency to buy a unit. Given the plan seemingly to add 1 unit a season, there’s no way to acquire every unit free to play (there’s 5 locked from the beginning, 6 now with Nu) , and if you fall off for a season the stuff you cant get just piles up. Along with that the daily/weekly system is frustrating; all quests are also locked to randomly selected choices of units, an idea perhaps made to force variation but often leads to you just not playing what you want so you dont fall behind on the BP. 

This all came to a head for me when i finished the S1 BP, took a break from the game, returned to S2 to see that every weekly/daily i had was for units I don’t want to play and had all interest in playing get sucked out of me.

Gundam evo is a fun game just dragged into the mud with the infuriating f2p design choices.

Multiple Different Fighting Games

I have a complication relationship with fighting games. I like them, and buy them, but just cant commit myself to them. I hate playing online, part of it being how ladder experience in most fighting games and also i’m not good at them so I get angry if I’m not playing with my friends, and sometimes i still get mad when i’m playing with friends. I’ll keep buying them and there’s plenty I do want to put more time into, but I had hitting discords with @everyone games? so a lot of them are doomed to be low on play time. here’s a quick rundown for them anyways

KOF 2002UM: picked up for the rollback update. I already kinda knew it but I played a decent amount of KOF this year and I really enjoy this franchise, hitting a nice middle ground between games like SF and faster anime fighters for me. This game is very fun and I had a blast. I also picked up 98 but i didnt play enough of it to make a real opinion.

Melty Blood Type Lumina: I really wanted to like this, and returned with the 2.0 update, and just still can’t get into it. it’s really disappointing because i LOVE MBAACC, which I would say is one of my favorite fighting games. Just never hit otuside of very early days; I still dont like shield and changes just feels like a bandaid and I never found a charater i was in love with like I was with C Wara, and seeing how this game is now half tsukihime and half FGO i guess im just not gonna get it.

KOF XV: similiar to 2002um, I really like this game and wish I had it in me to put more hours into it. I just think KOF is fun. Really hate how Billy ended up in this game because that’s my dude but terry and kukri are still cool and Shigo is on the way as well. We’ll see.

Not Traditional Fighters:

Nick all stars brawl: I’m a huge fan of Slapcity so I was onboard with this but honestly was just a flop for me. people understand that half the fun of melee is that the game is fast but games dont really understand WHY or HOW Melee is fast. Their solution is just to give people a million air dashes. The game feels mashy; even playing against people who knew more about what they were doing felt like tons of just air dashing and mashing out the safe airs, and if you’re really a gamer you knew jablock combos.  The psuedo 2.0 update helped the game on a small scale with voice acting and kinda fun items for castuals but I just wasnt having fun when playing this game. I liked Shredder tho

Multiversus: I still hop on this game a bit but I think I have similar issues with this game that I have with nick brawl, although i think MV is just better overall than NASB. Similarly just replaces movement related techs by giving people fast air dodges with long ranges and multiple uses. Still, it’s pretty fun, I think the 2v2 emphasis is a cool angle and there’s some cool characters. I still get a very It’s Mashy And Air Dashy feel from it but miles better than how it was in NASB, the F2P systems are fine and I hop on every once in a while. Also I can play Lebron and hes actually fun.

Monster Hunter Rise: Sunbreak

not necessarily a pure multiplayer game, but hey i like playing with friends

I like MH, and I think Rise and it’s systems are all great, and I wanted to actually play it which was unlike how i felt after a few hours in Iceborne. But as i’ve said before, the modern game content implementations is the worst thing that’s happened in the Monster Hunter. I hate MH drip feed. I dont want to play MH a little bit every few months, I want to just go extremely hard for like 2-3 months. But that’s not good for Engagement Numbers. Of course with drip feeding a few monsters every few months is fucking up the gear game; because they want you to not just kill a monster once and close the game the gear from new monsters has to be worth grinding out, so every patch the previous tier of weapons and armors have to be put back for the new hotness... which also makes the grinding kind of worthless because the elemental set of SAs i grind out with afflicted is about to have multiple pieces of it get outdated and needed to regrind.

Still, the game is fun, switch skills and wirebug is fun as hell. This is one of my favorite interpretations of my already favorite weapon in rise SA. I just hate that the drip feed is the fate of this franchise now because I really cant stand it, but hey when this game gets its last update i’ll dive back in.

THE CARD GAME SECTION BEGINS NOW:

Yu-gi-oh Master Duel 

I did write a review about this game on backloggd so i’ll keep it short. YGO is a fun but devisie game, and the game’s Balls To The Wall At All Times gameplay is 100% not for everyone, but going balls to the walls also can rule. 

MD as a client is pretty good, and is especially generous compared to most TCG clients, but the games lack of formats is painful. YGO is a particularly brutal BO1 game, and a lack of BO3 with sideboarding leads to frustrating laddering experience. Along with that, the game’s card list being multiple sets behind both TCG and OCG, and having a strange banlist that’s a combination of TCG/OCG and some half hearted BO1 hits leads the game to not really feel like an actual simulator for either of the games. 

I don’t hate MD but BO1 no sideboarding has lead to constant utterly miserable metas where you fight floodgates or 45 step bazillion endboard negate combos which burned me after, you know, a solid 200 hours.

Marvel Snap

It’s honestly remarkable that this game is good. I see most Brand: The Card Game! games to feel like just quick cash  grabs that never go anywhere, but they actually tried with this game, although i continue to lament on how games simply feast on the corpse of Artifact.

But yeah it’s fun. The power of the location cards alone do great to stop people from autopiloting turns, which would be a problem with this game if they didnt exist. It does lead to games sometimes being crapshoots and sometimes you just gotta take an L when X Mansion gives you quicksilver and your opponent infinianut, but all games being short and under 5 minutes makes it hard to get really mad when you get fucked. It does make the game’s signature Snap system, which lets you effectively gamble rank points, a very strange edition when location RNG can just fuck you over.

The game’s card collecting system is... weird but it is fairly F2P friendly ( even though ive bought all of the season passes lol). A lack of a way to just craft a card I want is frustrating, especially when you see a deck that’s cool and you’re just gonna have to wait forever to play it because you dont have like 3 of the cards needed for it, or just lack a strong lynchpin in an archetype (i STILL dont have Death man), and once you hit collection 4 opening like 3 crates without getting a new card is going to start getting really annoying.  Variants are a great way to do alt card art and there’s many that are pretty, although i mostly just spend my gold on new dailies for more chances at cards anyways.

it’s fun. god i really want more fucking cards man cmon.

Pokemon Trading Card Game Live:

Also did end up writing a backloggd review on this (very recently too) so i’ll keep it short: Game is fun and client is fine. Great new player onboarding due to the game just giving you the shell for a meta deck, and the other starter decks feel more reflective of the actual game as compared to the previous PTCG client. Incredibly stingy currency makes F2Ping hardly feasible, and whaling in this game involves just buying bulk codes off ebay... which is remarkably cheap honestly but still. Also teh game jsut has miserably ugly avatars, really dont know why they committed to that design. It’s fine, but if you want to F2P i can’t recommend it.

And that’s it for multiplayer games I put a lot of time into this year. fortnite is fun and i wish i could play fighting games without getting annoyed.

[arsen1cs4ng0]

serious post, please read

i think im comfortable enough to talk about my experiences with the chip fandom from march 2022 until february 2023, and how much it really affected me.

i never really wanted to publicly open up about this shit due to past experience and what i had to witness with many of my friends, but im kinda sick of pretending everything is fine and great on here!!

some of the shit i'll be saying under the keep reading cut may be really upsetting, please keep that in mind before proceeding (tws for suicide and harassment) doubt anyone will read this seeing as im such a small account, but hey fucking ho lol

ughhh where the fuck do i begin i created the starlandspoons account in the hopes of trying to warm up to the chip fandom again after enduring so much on the twitter side of it (hoping the tumblr side would be a little better) but... even with me trying to create good memories like i was able to in early 2022.... the pain i felt never subsided.

this is the part where val moans about their chip trauma!! the main shit (im not calling this """drama""". this shit is serious) started in late february of 2022. a controversial figure in the chip fandom, gremlin, came out with an ""apology"" for her actions (i go in detail about her actions here), blaming her actions in 2020/21 on shit like "i was doing it to piss people off" and much more that i dont really want to think about. admittedly, i initially fell for this, being too naive to understand exactly how bad she was (i knew she was bad, but didnt realise how bad)

now heres where the shit really started. back in march of 2022, i witnessed one of my friends on twitter (not naming who, i dont want them to get harassed again) get bombarded with hate + get vagueposted for not forgiving her. people started block-evading them, one person started being enbyphobic towards said person... you can get the idea here. the first time, it did a bit of damage on the way i viewed chip. i lost my taste in it temporarily. that was, until a few days later, where i had a new hyperfixation related to chip (lil guy), which kept my love for it going for a little longer!! that hyperfixation was so strong (stronger than any of my other ones had been) it was able to keep me mostly distracted from the bad shit. mostly.

everything was cool. great. as far as i remember... until late may/early june 2022. back in may of 2022, i became friends with someone called yuzu. they ran an account on twitter where they posted chip songs, tts songs, a/e songs, you get the picture... i became really good friends with them for a while, they were always there to listen to me, we'd talk a lot, yknow. what stood out was that nobody else i knew was that understanding. i was bullied a lot irl, and it was comforting to have that person there for you. i felt.... great!!!

the night of june 9th came, where they got blocked by my friends for "recommending a song from a bad person". they let me know about this, i checked what happened, and... it was a song from gremlin. this didnt bother me too much until i tried to explain to them that they were both problematic... they didn't listen. i dont remember the exact details now as my brain blocked out most of it, but i remember this almost made me spiral into a meltdown, and i suddenly couldnt stand them. i blocked them because i was too uncomfortable and i was on a brink of a meltdown.

june 10th, they made a whole vent about me. guess who had a meltdown!! multiple meltdowns in the span of 2 weeks!! how did i know?? twitter bugged out on me. the vent completely broke me. i was reminded of my ex and how they talked to me. i started getting scared of myself. i felt like a monster. i seriously wanted to kill myself. at that point, i was waiting for my chip friends to block me because i started all of the shit this time!! shit people wanted to move on from!! my brain was convincing me that my chip friends hated me!! (and to this day i still feel like that sometimes)

i had so many more meltdowns from that time. late june, i had to defend another friend (who i'll refer to as bones, for privacy reasons) from being manipulated by them. i was so angry one of my friends went to calm me down through dms. i was so stressed out of my mind that i even went non-verbal one time, which rarely happens!! this continued on and on and on, spending my time and energy defending my friends. i found out so much more about gremlin, even more gross shit, seeing she was friends with someone who is very openly radf*m/a t*rf (+ blamed bones for their own personal family problems), someone who was openly proshit (+ was one of the people who harassed one of my friends)... you get the picture.

this ate away at my mental health more, to the point where i started contemplating suicide. shit i dealt with irl really didnt help either.

the worst part was in january of this year where i had a really bad panic attack because i was scared bones was going to kill themself and there was nothing i could do about it. after that i gave up with the fandom because i finally accepted no matter what i did, nobody would listen. to bones, the friend im talking about, i hope you're okay and i'm sorry i chickened out. im sorry i failed you.

i attempted to try to step my toe into the chip fandom a few months later again by creating the starlandspoons account as my vosim hyperfix was still there and i really missed the good times, but... i still felt unhappy. i have nightmares about the chip fandom sometimes. i am constantly reliving the shit i had to witness in my head. im still feeling the anger i felt those months ago. im still getting angry at myself for not doing more to defend my friends. im still feeling suicidal (not just from the chip fandom, but its contributing to it). it all hurts so much, to this day.

im still going to post on the starlandspoons account for as long as my vosim hyperfix continues. yall are not taking that from me.

sorry for such a heavy vent post, but ive just been needing to let this out for such a long time. it's 4am, i desparately need to sleep. i will say this a thousand times more: thank you to the chip friends who have stayed by my side despite all the shit i endured. thank you so much, you guys really mean to me. seriously, you guys do. i dont know what i'd do without you guys. and to 3 certain people from the chip fandom (you 3 know who you are), thank you especially.

for those who read all of this, thank you for listening to silly little val. i'll be okay, i think. i hope you guys have a good day/night/whatever time it is for you. ;___;

[therealun-kamen-t]

😷 UnKamenThought #1: Start of Something New, Yet Familiar? 👾

So many thoughts I wanna just spill out onto something/somewhere. From how I've been feeling lately about my idea(s), future plans, what I feel like I messed up on, what I think I did great on (glitch brain go brr so this is vague and doesn't really dictate the order of how the subjects are brought up... BUT I will separate each topic somehow... NGL just been a lurker of Tumblr, never really and active participant, but we gon learn as we go)

See, UnKamenThoughts started off on my Twitter where I just have random thought I wanted to share to stir a conversation with mutuals and/or just people in the same/similar space of vtubing. Thought it was a clever idea for my name to be included with a hashtag I felt would be used a lot. And I certainly did use it a lot. But thing is about twitter is that it's limited and cuz of how limited it is, I felt like I was kinda annoying people with multiple tweets in a thread by myself.

<Segway into thoughts on social media> 👀

Kinda glad that twitter was shaken up cuz it forced a lot of us to look for alternatives... Some alternatives are buggy (maybe shut down rn... Miss you Hive), some are confusing to use currently (Mastodon when?), Some are finally getting some dust blown off it... (And then we saw all our old cringe and decided to just make a whole new account. Hello again tumblr and Instagram) and some are established things but I don't think is for everyone to have since it's kind of just paywalled off content without the implications of it being strictly 🔞 explicit content (that might be for another day) Other than that I've already talked about what I want to do with my other socials cuz I've been a big believer in making sure you have other means of getting reach to new eyes and such... Yet I'm a hypocrite and definitely just on twitter and twitch 😅 (but we growing slowly outta it... This and the couple IG posts I made are the first steps) and don't get me wrong I feel like I did a decent amount of growing... BUT being on just 2 places and inconsistent AF with a lot of what I do (more on that later) yeah the growth is a bit stagnant. Besides that bit... The rumblings of it helped kick my @$$ into gear to complete the Discord Server... It still needs some work but I'm proud of it and can't wait to house a lot of fun things there. Though I feel like I accomplished a decent amount... I'm not happy with how I carried out or flaked out on plans... Execution of a lot of things... Unsatisfactory.

<#NoSoloNovemeber/Rivalry Series/Streams>

I had this fun (basic) idea of every stream I do in November would be a collab. Now building off that to make it a little more impactful and interesting I'd Collab with someone new almost every stream. And then to finish it off towards the end I'd do a big Collab with anyone/everyone that came on before and some who weren't available at the time to join me for a final hoorah if No Solo November. At the either final stream or at the end of every stream for No Solo I'd give thanks to everyone who hung out with me and why I'm so thankful for them (cuz Thanksgiving and such). Now it's December 5th (started writing this like end of Nov 30th), and I did the base idea with the other bits in mind yet I did not plan a damn thing (besides one thing) so it kinda flopped on it's face... I failed to plan, so I planned to fail. I didn't manage my time properly to slot people in for specific days and specific games. I was really kinda sad that I didn't even just grab a bunch of people who were free for a big thing at the end... The biggest part I'm upset about was I didn't give thanks to those who deserved it most regardless if we streamed... Main point was to have fun and let my friends and inspirations know how appreciative I am of them existing and wanting to hang around me. *Sigh* it's fine... This is year 0 problems, next year will be a better year. Besides this is all reflection on what I can do better next time... Now onto the one thing I did plan:

RIVALRY SERIES -

🦊Kitsune V Kamen😷: Pokemon Scarlet/Violet

So Rivalry Series is just ya usual VS series between two people of course as they play a game together or adjacent to each other. Now it will always be ___ V Kamen cuz I do plan on having various people as my main rival for whatever game. Kitsune - @heyjanaebers is (currently in my plans) a reoccurring main rival of mine so it only made sense that I start it off with her. That being said we were going to have battles with wagers at certain points of the game... Somewhere in the start (after 1st gym?), Somewhere in the middle ("50%" of the game) and finally at the end (beaten main story and give prep time for the battle). Now again I failed to plan (further) so I planned to fail when it was time... We did not, in fact battle after the 1st gym... We rescheduled due to Reality things goin on for both of us... And cuz I got really into the game and without battle gyms I kinda leveled up a lot... So she had to catch up (my fault) and I had to kinda dawdle around while she catches up. Which gave me more pokemon to use so I still technically had a leg up... Anyways we battled well past the middle point... So next battle is the last battle (for the time being) so I'm definitely giving prep time for both of us... Granted, currently she is ahead of me. I know where I messed up with this, besides not thinking the idea fully through and mapping it out or just having some backup plans to level out the playing field for "scheduled" battles I think the mistake(s) lie in it being a new game and sometimes... You want to experience the game as much as possible and you don't wanna wait for anyone when you are in the thick of it... SO that being said I think should've had some failsafes for either of us getting ahead... Should've stuck to the script of doing these battles when they were supposed to happen... Or do what I thought of and kinda make poke-updates on my journey... Would be just smart to make fuggin content/videos... Record everything and trim down to the good stuff...

Anyways year 0 problems... Fixing it for the next year and next game(s) for Rivalry series...

<Wrapping this up>

Overall, I know these are great ideas... I know these could be amazing things for fun content. But I have to learn from these things; plan things out fully, prepare properly and make sure to execute things right if I wanna be satisfied with the result... NGL I want #NoSoloNovember to be something I'm known for and a lot of others do as well... that as well as other ideas whether I tried them or have yet to put into action. Besides that... I just need to manage things better overall, I think something's have suffered due to lack of proper management. Starting off December weird due to irregular stream times but I made this post which I want to be a regular thing here... Both things mentioned will be better. I will be better.

💛👾😷🖤

<L8r GL!7ch3s>

143

[bookishtck]

Thinking about preparing for adulthood as I face this summer having completed junior year of undergrad. It feels like a thick dark substance is expanding within me and swells with each moment I give in to fear or anxiety or glumness or laziness, because I'm worried I won't be able to do ANYTHING. Of course, I am recovering from burnout and my huge failures from this past semester, while gearing up to lead youth ministry at my church, and also walking through a family member's cancer diagnosis, so I'm a little blindsided.

I'm no real adult. I'm just a college student with eyes slowly opening to the harshness of life.

I've gotten great heartfelt wisdom from the adults in my life, and I marvel at how strong they are. Aunts and uncles, grandparents and cousins and professors, customer service people who pick up the phone...Even people like this twitter user who is going through hardship, yet manages to post it online so that others see that they are not alone in this.

Then I got to thinking about the bubbly, seemingly carefree and lighthearted adults in my life. Teachers who poured their hearts into their students. Next-door neighbors who my family was so close to, we went took them on family trips multiple times a year. Family friends who suffered years of infertility, late-term miscarriages, yet they never stopped caring for those around them. Parents of my friends who made sure I got something to eat even when their own financial lives were strained. My parents.

What they all have in common is--and I know it sounds so trite--an undying faith in Jesus. They never let go of hope and they always look to God for help, which WE NEED at some point(s) EVERY DAY! I wrack my brain trying to see if it was all psychosomatic sometimes. Wondering if their happiness was a façade or if they were just lying to themselves in order to keep themselves from going over the edge. Staying in marriages or jobs or countries because of societal expectations and not love.

But the conclusion was always this: I can't make this stuff up. There is a sense of fullness in these happy, hopeful adults in my life. The fatigue and irritability and pudgy stomachs and dark circles and deep sighs are still there. But there is zero insecurity in terms of how they see their suffering and pleasure and rest and even conflict, as meaningful. There is no empty hole they are distracting themselves from, no flimsy idol they're chasing in order to feel whole.

Just a love for God.

It's giving me hope now, as a 21-year-old. Once I got a taste of joy, I didn't want to lose it. We are meant to live. God hates the evils (racism, sexism, slavery, hate crimes, food deserts, SIDS, undiagnosed disease, bullying, airstrikes, prognoses, you name it) of this world even more than we do, and God wants us to live life to the full. It's actually written in the Bible!

I don't think escape comes with running away to a walkable community in Europe or a popular social group or a toned body filled with berries and red meat or even finding your soulmate. Life is always hard. It's the slogan of our world. But...if you ever wonder if there is something more to all of this, or even something to take the edge off, I would encourage you to just talk to God out loud. Speak your heart. See what happens that day.