#i still really enjoyed it and 4 is def a fave writing-wise

[cornbread33y2]

"HIYA PAL~!"

All aboard my Poppy Playtime hyperfixation again, woooo! And who better to start then to draw THIS GUY!

I fucking love Doey!! Look at this silly guy, this silly guy who needs a hug. All three kids in there need a hug :C

[j4nn4s]

rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

i was tagged by @isakvdhflorenzi, ty miss lorena <3 1. Is the social media presence of the characters important to how you view the quality of the remake/show?

hm well skam nl is my favorite and their social media game is trash LMAOOO so generally No but i do feel like remakes who DO have such a good presence kind of elevate the show and i think it’s pretty heartwarmin to see some remakes go sm farther than skam with social media and puttin out educational and IN CHARA resources like skames does this so well and i feel like in that way, the team is really really spreadin skam’s spirit via these resources (like joana’s billion bpd awareness ig accounts and lucas rubio’s yt channel)

2. Least favourite clip of the show? Why?

tbh there are definitely some duds but probably one of the clips with sana gettin herself into a hole in s4 just bc some were hard to watch cus cringey or yikes .... idk i cant think of others LMAO

3. Which character did you feel the most connected to and why?

ijeoiqjiwoij even tho even is my all time fave skam chara, i have to say isak for all of these reasons 

4. Your least favourite part of every season?

season 1 - tbh even though i really enjoyed this season, it does take a while for it to build up like i rmr at first not being that interested until ep6 maybe ?? which is hard when you’re trying to get your friends to watch but they have to wait until ep6 before shit starts RLLY buildin up and gettin wild

season 2 - hm ig noora chasin after william ??

season 3 - bro NOTHINGGG call me a purist but its such a refined masterpiece like the pacing is good the characterization is so good ugh i deadass cant think of anythin

season 4 - i always felt a little ??? w noora being sana’s bff ig bc from s1-s3 it didn’t Feel like they were that close like even in noora’s pov, sana wasn’t really a part of it that much ?? like eva was more of noora’s bff ?? so i feel like it would have made more sense if maybe sana spoke more with chris or vilde bc sana and vilde eventually seemed to get closer esp with kosegruppa and chris has always been by sana’s side ?? idk that always confused me

5. What is your opinion on the cast’s participation on social media? Do you prefer it when the cast aren’t that involved like the Skam cast, or do you like a lot of content like the Fr cast do?

tbh i don’t care much abt the casts LMAOOO if anythin it kind of brings more harm as seen with the harassment axel and maxence get and also can bring more controversy like with irene (which honestly is p sad considerin how much i love skames bc now i feel super :/ watchin it like she shouldve just had private accts at this point)

6. Favourite song you found from Skam or the remakes?

OMFGGG love this question .... def doorman by slowthai and mura masa bc its one of my fave songs now and i got it from skam nl <3 ugh taste

7. If you could decide which characters from Skam got a season, who would you choose?

OOOHHH ugh torn bc i like isak’s pov but also i want even’s so might have to forfeit isak season for even season ....... hm so probs vilde, sana, even, noora (maybe not w william tho) and honestly maybe jonas too ??

8. Are there any moments that you liked in the show that everyone else seems to hate?

IJXDWQOIJJ yes .... remakes-wise, people hate skam nl s2’s last half but i enjoyed it for the most part ... i think the pacing was off for the last ep but personally, clip 50 made up for it and is p god tier imo ..... and also don’t think the first half of ep10 is enough to discredit the entire season bc i rlly loved seeing liv’s pov and have sm fave moments from the season 

but skam wise, omg might get a lil controversial w this one IM SORRY !!! im bein honest and its Just my opinion ok 

personally s2 got me more invested than s1 and i don’t think its a super bad season like i didnt really say many problems wrong with it until i got on tumblr wiejioqjoiqjq i was sort of interested in the questions that the noora/william dynamic brought up which is, as expressed in william’s war speech to noora, that nothing is ever black/white which i feel was a huge message and feeds into the ‘you never know what ppl are going through’ theme of the season ... like i like the idea of someone like noora, who can have a black/white mentality (as seen in the first clip of s2 when she tells vilde that they can’t have the tannin company as their sponsor bc they objectify women or smth but misses the context and what it could mean for the bus monetarily bc shes caught up in bein ‘woke’) having to break out of that and see more than one side ... and i think remakes like skam austin expanded on this idea well like when zoya was like ‘must be so nice being right all the time’ which i Do feel like is an important for youth to know today .... bc i think its so easy to get caught up in the idea of being so objectively right and morally superior that people lose sight of the more nuanced characteristics to life ... (omg long ramble BUT)

also LMAOOOOO this one might be more controversial as it pertains to bench scene s4 ok oops again doNT GOTTA AGREE !! ........ but i feel like the scene had a lot of good intentions ... i was def kind of cringing a bit tho bc i understand the subject’s sensitivity and how these topics are hard to talk about but i genuinely feel like they both made Some points and should listen to each other .... like as Hard and as maybe ‘unwoke’ it is to admit, unfortunately you sort of do have to answer the tough questions bc that way we learn from each other .... and i perfectly understand why some ppl wouldn’t want to do this and i certainly am tired abt havin to answer shit abt my sexuality or stupid male questions abt women but if u dont answer them, people do go lookin for answers still and the internet is such a shitty place that its pretty easy (esp with youtube’s algorithm) to lead you to ignorant ppl and perhaps radicalization .... questions help us to better understand our community and sometimes they can have good intentions too but we have to ask and answer them or else people will make up answers (which ive literally seen and its honestly worse to see fake as shit and UNINFORMED answers bc ppl did not want to ask you or ppl of ur identity, esp when they’re already startin from a place of hate .... but i rather have ppl ask me patronizing questions than have them spread false info bc that can do much more harm in the long run) however i DO think that isak should also consider sana’s side and i sort of wish we saw him conceding more bc they both have smth to learn from one another, like sana shouldn’t just be learnin from isak, isak needs to learn from sana too

PHEW SORRY QWIOJQWIO girl i just got opinions on some things this is when my desc rlly comes in handy .... oqjdwqioj

9. What did you learn from the show?

omg honestly too much to write here tbh ..... but if it says anythin im (very slowly) in the works of a three part skam essay about basically how skam teaches us to be better humans and how to better treat the people we care about diowjqioj essentially the three biggest themes of the show: you never know what someone is going through so always be kind, always communicate with your friends, and no person is ever alone and i feel like these are definitely rlly good messages to live by (also livet er nå BITCH !!!)

10. What is your favourite headcanon about your favourite characters?

omg tbh i could not tell u at all how the skam charas are doing except i hope even is okay thats all im thinkin of ok .... OIWXIOJX omg remakes wise tho ..... honestly im so bad at this girl IDK !!!!! LMAO i have to really think i have a bit of vdh and dutch even but thats bc we know like Zero abt them so its easier oijwiojqio idk liv and noah bein cute as shit ..... OH WAIT personally i feel like janna got a bunch of pansexual energy so my BIGGG hc is that she’s pan also bc she’s one of my all time fave charas and my fkn url so itd be dope if she was pan ok boom

11. What is your opinion on fanfiction in the fandom?

tbh i don’t read skam fanfiction but i don’t mind reading some from the remakes (tho still its rare) ... eiojeioqw i just don’t trust anyone but julie to write skam charas bc i think that’s how precious the show is to me LMAO like idk everything ive seen of skam fanfiction and ficlets and one shots, i could never get into bc the tone is just so out of character or there will be lines that just take me out of the fic bc im like this !!!! is not !!! how the chara acts !!!! so yeah idk not rlly a fan bc of my purist ass but i dont mind others reading it

Questions:

1. Favorite quote of the show?

2. Which country would you like to see have the next remake? Do you have any headcanons?

3. Which season would you rewrite and how would you rewrite it?

4. What clips do you personally like or don’t mind, but others hate?

5. Which songs do you think SKAM or the remakes should have included? For which moments?

6. Who would you give SKAM season five to and what topics and themes would it cover?

7. What moment spoke to you or touched you from SKAM the most?

8. How did you find SKAM? How did you feel about it right after watching?

9. Have you shared SKAM with any friends in real life? What did they think of it?

10. Of the remakes, which characters are your favorite of their SKAM counterparts? (Ex. who is the best Vilde remake? Eva? etc.)

11. How do you feel about the SKAM (and remakes) tumblr fandom?

I tag: @smileykeijser @whatadaze @queenofpurgatoryx @itlukey @skamyeets @shaykeijser @megeliz01 @isakcijser @wackpainterkid @axelauriantblot @kar-d-momme

(omg ik some of yall have been tagged so just ignore if u dont want to do it ok im srry it was in the RULES!)

[lady-nevermore]

Checklist, Dreams, and Fourth Therapy Session

Before we get into what happened this session, I wanted to write down this checklist of sorts, regarding a few bouts of anxiety I had these last two weeks (and how I dealt with them)....My therapist did after all (give me homework last session) / and highly advised me to write down any situations that may have triggered or have caused my anxiety-levels to start rising/or skyrocketing. So here we go.

6/8/17 - Thursday

It was the day (more like early evening) before my cousin’s Jay’s Graduation, and that was when I noticed that I had misspelled my cousin’s name on both her graduation-card, and on the envelope of said graduation-card....I felt my heart freeze and an immediate sense of anxiety (and me fretting over whether or not I should fix it with white-out or not) ...I definitely felt my heart race in fear (beating loudly, to the point I could feel my heart beating/pulsing in my eardrums)....The reason for my fear: was because i felt that my Aunt C was going to take great offense, in the fact that I had misspelled my cousin’s name (My Aunt C is quite a prideful woman, and very easily angered/offended.....and the fact she traumatized/ emotionally abused me when  I was 5, def. left/instilled that sense of fear in a way.....even now).....It wasn’t until a little bit afterwards that I started to realize how my anxiety was quite an irrational reaction on my part, and how silly it was to be freaking out over this, ‘twas in realizing this that i calmed down and chose to let it go (aka I passed along my gift to my dad, who works with my uncle aka Jay’s Dad, so that Jay would receive said gift on the day of her graduation); I was rest assured when my dad told me that the gift had successfully made it’s way to Jay, and I sighed in relief. 

6/9/17 - Friday

My little cousins ended up spontaneously coming over for a visit / aka My Aunt Juanita (one of my kinder as well as fave aunts) needed me and my mom to babysit them for a bit. .....See, here’s the thing (call me high-maintenance or whatever) - But I don’t do well in regards towards spontaneous things, such as: Unexpected visits, unexpected plans to hangout (like the last second, in this very moment types), unexpectedly meeting a friend or acquaintance our of the blue (like when shopping for groceries or something).....stuff like that really tends to raise (sometimes even sky-rocket) my anxiety levels.....mostly cause I wasn’t prepared for it. But yeah, so minutes before they (my little cousins: Bryan and Izela) were to arrive, I sorta became a wee bit frantic (because I needed to make sure my room wasn’t a total mess and prepare my gamecube console and games, to keep them entertained, [and keep in mind, as a nerd i have most of my videogames and anime/nerdy stuff in my room] so yeah, I started to feel hella rushed and a bit stressed, cause it was soo last minute; which didn’t help my anxiety levels: Cause they just skyrocketed (to the point where my hearing-senses/audio-hypersensitiveness started to kick in, such as me getting irritated my hearing the clinks of the dishes accidently clanging against each other ......but yeah, It wasn’t until they got here, that i noticed that their rowdiness sorta low-key irked me (them trying to talk over each other by raising their voices and stuff) but I got over it quickly enough; their cuteness/adorkablness was more than enough to take my mind off my anxiety, and even made me smile. It was fun babysitting them; Izela was having a blast with harvest moon: a magical melody (though she sorta got the hang of it but was getting hilariously frustrated with the game itself and she kept giggling/laughing when she kept running outta time and losing track of where she was going, which I found to be absolutely hilarious, to the point where i started laughing my ass-off along with them), but then Bryan wanted to play something else, so I introduced them to Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, which was really fun watching and guiding/ helping them walktrough the game (especially once we finally got them into reaching the Deku Tree, aka the first dungeon). I may have felt a wee bit drained once they left (they dropped them off here at around 6PM and didn’t leave till like 10 PM), but I did calm down in the end, plus it was fun :)

6/14/17 - Wednesday

Left at 11:45 Am and went to go see Wonder Woman and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell no Tales; Not gonna rewrite what happened here cause I already made a post about this here: http://lady-nevermore.tumblr.com/post/161840007484/saw-ww-and-potc5-today  ....But what I will write about is a few things i forgot to mention that had also happned: After seeing WW (it ended around 3 PM), I wanted to wait and watch POTC5 another day instead, so i walked home......the thing is I have a real bad sens of direction, and well long story short  i got lost (and let me tell you I felt disoriented and felt anxious as I was lost) so I decided that the best thing to do was to calm down and backtrack, and end up back at the mall.....and from there i decided: “Well fuck it, I might as well go see of RWBY4 is out yet on bluray....which it wasn’t, so I left Best Buy and headed back towards the Theaters (all of this btw is inside the mall: The Theaters, Bestbuy, etc)....That was when I decided to go and watch POTC5 around 3:35 PM (and the movie didn;t end till around 6PM), but by the time it ended, I decided to call my dad to pick me up, but yeah I enjoyed myself (both films were great) and it was a nice day. ^^;

6/18/17 - Sunday

Dreamt of an old friend (let’s call him Wolf); he was chasing me in my dream (I was running away and felt such a cold sense of fear and a lot of anxiety in the dream).....See, Back when I knew him, he was dealing with a lot of anger-issues.....We didn’t really end things on a good note when we parted ways either.....Last time i saw him was when we were playing ping-pong ball, and he was obviously hella pissed-off/angry at me (cause a few days before, I told him that I no longer felt safe/that I felt uncomfortable being around him....something that was a long time coming, years even).....He obviously didn’t take this well, cause the next/and last time I saw him we were playing ping-pong ball with a couple of friends of ours, and he was so succumbed by his anger that he kept hitting the ball with such force at me..... it was obvious that he was trying to hit me (I remember cause the look in his eyes was terrifying, it was filled with pure hatred towards me); a mutual friend of both of ours at the time: Cisco-kid, had to pull Wolf over aside (Wolf reacted towards this via throwing the ping-pong paddle to the side with such ferocity, outta anger) but nonetheless he was reluctantly pulled-over to the side and was told-off by Cisco-Kid, with him asking him what the hell was wrong with him, and telling him to knock it off.....This was about 4-8 years ago (sometime around then)...I wrote more about this here: http://lady-nevermore.tumblr.com/post/162055039454/dear-wolftbh-our-friendship-was-doomed-from (in my Letters to No One, therapy side-blogs)....but long story short, I ended up cutting all ties with him without so much as a word (this was simultaneously during the time that my mentor/friend passed away, and when I had my nervous breakdown, and fell into a deep depression).....This hasn’t been the only time I’ve dreamt of him (most dreams are of happier, fun, friendship-wise times)....this one was not. :/

6/18/17 - Sunday

Surprised my Dad with some French Toast for breakfast (with a side of some delicious: fresh and juicy strawberries, banana slices, and sausage links) ‘twas delicious, which I’m glad it turned out so well (I love to cook in a calm and serene environment, it always calms me down and takes my mind off things, plus it’s fun).....But anyways, I went to a chinese Resturant with my folks for Father’s Day on Sunday; haven’t been to that place in years (since like my young teen years)....Felt a small sense of anxiety/nervousness/restlessness before shortly getting there. But that quickly went away and we had a nice time once we got there. ^-^

The Fourth Session

Finally - Onto the Fourth Session.

6/19/2017

Today we talked about the checklist I’ve made here above, mostly about the situations that caused my anxiety and how  i dealt with/reacted to it; I’ve told her that once I’ve realized how irrational/silly my overreaction is to something (that is causing my anxiety), i can quickly calm down cause now i realize that it’s not me that’s reacting this way, but rather it’s the anxiety that’s taking control and choosing to react for me; That distinction, i feel will help a great deal in the long run.

We focused a lot on my old-friend Wolf, and talking about what i would say to him if he was here, and how to let him go, and how to let his shadow (of me feeling anxious of running into him) go. We talked about my mom and me worrying over her cause she has an appointment on the 22nd cause she’s had this chronic cough and me worrying it’s throat cancer, which led us to talking about my pessimism and me jumping to the worst possible conclusions, and how I need to try to stop myself from going there, and just try living in the present (in the here and now), rather than worrying on what could or might not happen. 

We talked about my progress thus far, and I told her I feel hopeful (something I haven’t felt in a very long time), especially due to my online-friends here on tumblr (especially those  i chat with - you know who you are), but most especially: @theamazingflyinglion, @angelotics, @th3-d0rk-kn1ght-d0t-exe .....you guys have no idea how much your support and company has helped me; it’s given me hope, and that’s something I haven’t felt in over 4-8 years. 

My Therapist has told me that there’s so much i can still accomplish, but that I need to remind myself that i am allowed to do it at my own pace (and that it’s really important to remember that I do not owe society, my former high-school teachers/mentors/classmates/friends, even my parents anything in regards towards meeting their standards/expectations.....The thing is this is such a difficult thing for me to do, and is something I’ve always struggled with, especially when it comes to meeting high standards in academia/my pride in academia, being a perfectionist, or having my life together (especially by age 25)......It also doesn’t help that i have an inferiority complex, I’m always afraid to feel inferior or look inferior (which is why why pride stings if my intelligence is questioned, or why  i get competitive in trivia games, or why i get high-strung/slight snobbish if  i feel slightly threatened by another’s intelligence.....which is such a horrible trait to have, and have mostly broken free of it (it was worse during my teenage years, believe me)....thank god I’ve matured, and grown hella, like hella more liberal and open-minded in my views in life, or else even i wouldn’t have been able to stand myself, Christ! o.o

But yeah, it just weighs soo damn heavily on me.....i feel like I’ve wasted my life away, like I should have accomplished soo much by now and it scares me shitless that i don’t.....that i’m soo damn uncertain.....and that I’ll fail again. it scares me cause, I’m afraid I’ll run into someone I knew from my high-school days (the people who knew me as the perfect teacher’s pet, the person who had their shit together, the person who was on top of it all) and that they’ll see what a pathetic person I’ve become.....My Therapist keeps telling me that it’s not too late to fulfill my accomplishment, to fight for my accomplishments......and to be honest, I’m sorta feeling like a little glimmer of hope, it’s small......but maybe just maybe, that tiny glimmer will grow into a passion/motivation into finally feeling capable of meeting/accomplishing my goals (but at my own pace). 

Speaking of goals, I told her that my goal/dream is to become a teacher (and english teacher); the main reason is I’ve always loved/enjoyed helping my formers classmates/friends/little cousins in opening their eyes in wonder via discovering or noticing something the didn’t note before, especially in regards to storytelling, which is why I wanna be an english teacher (helping students understand and view literature, especially the archetypes and overall concept of the hero’s journey, in a new light). The second, and most personal reason, as to why I want to become a teacher, is to honor my friend/old mentor’s memory (may he rest in peace), cause he too was a young teacher himself, and i remember him telling me how much joy he got outta teaching, how much energy and how alive it made him feel despite his battle with colon-cancer....which is why my I desire to be a teacher myself, so that I can follow in his footsteps, and carry-out what was taken away from him, and make him proud. :’)

She asked me how i felt about trying to go back to community college, or learning how to drive, whilst I;m currently going to therapy......I told her I dunno if i feel ready yet.....still dunno (it makes me nervous just thinking about it....not impossible, but just nervous). >_>; ....She said that’s fine, and that she’ll be here supporting me regardless, stating that her goal is to be here for me and help me get through this. But yeah, like I said - I don’t feel ready, but who knows, we shall see. Hmm, we’ve also talked about me dealing with depression (and she’s asked me if i noted that maybe it’s during when I’m menstruating...I mean yeah sometimes I PMS, and that’ll trigger it, but i told her it’s manifested itself outside of my menstrual cycle as well).... i told her that i view it as an analogy to the weather or a lingering cold......it comes and goes (and I’m like *sigh oh great it’s you again depression, how fucking long are you gonna stay with me this time around).....I’m aware it’s bouts are temporary, and i can deal with it.....but bouts of anxiety on the other hand is a lot more difficult, because I’m so sensitive to it,cause daunting more instinct-base aka it’s soo in my face, and it get’s in the way of how  i react to things, socializing, etc, and it’s def. more of a struggle for me. But anyways.

 Footnotes:

My Therapist highly advised me, dude, she even made me write it down, to:

Not allow other people’s expectations nor society’s to take control and affect me; that I don not owe other people (former friends, classmates, teachers) an explanation as to why i did not meet said standards.

And to remember that it’s the anxiety that’s making me feel and react this way, not me; that this anxiety does not have permission nor my consent to take control over how i chose or choose not react to things.

^This is her third piece of hw (in a way) to write these down on a sticky note or somewhere I can see them, and read/integrate them into my psyche once a day (especially when my thoughts linger towards not feeling accomplished or when i’m in an anxious state); She says that changing my thought-process like this will help in the long run.....and to be perfectly honest, it def. makes sense. 

Fourth Piece of hw, she gave me a couple of adult-coloring book pages (hell, she even handed me a box of colored-pencils) and she asked me to color these whenever I’m feeling down, anxious or whenever, that it’ll help me to relax.....I'm assuming this is some sort of art therapy? But either way it made me smile in slightly soft-amused way (I used to love art classes, drawing, coloring back in my elementary, and middle school days, it was my side-hobby so to speak as a kid)....plus not gonna lie, but it sounds hella therapeutic and my sorta fun....def. looking forward to it lol. (^-^)

 Side Notes: 

 I didn't wear my light hoodie/sweater today, ‘twas hella effing hot, and since it’s just my therapist and me there, I thought I’d forgo it (I usually feel very insecure with it, cuz i’m slightly chubby, especially around my tummy area, and covering myself with my jacket sorta makes me feel less insecure for some reason.....yeah yeah, I know I’m weird, plus I’m also a creature of habit, so once I started doing something routinely, I sorta feel reluctant to change. ^^:

I burned my finger while I was cooking, sucks but thank god I have aloe vera growing out in my garden (along with spearmint for spearmint tea, and fresh rosemary and oregano for when I’m cooking). It all makes me feel hella fortunate and happy, yay! ^-^

*looks at the clock - Damn, it’s already 9PM!* :O

But anyways, that’s all for now, TTFN! :)

- Lady Nevermore