#i still can't forgive the me of yesterday | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

reiderwriter · 1 year ago

Text

Margaritas and Mistakes pt. 2

Pairing: Spencer x Female Reader

Genre: Smut, just filth really, nothing else. 18+ MINORS DNI!!

Summary: The morning after your night out you wake up and have to come face-to-face with the consequences of your actions. You find you quite enjoy those consequences though.

Warnings: Suggestive BDSM themes, soft!Dom Spencer (I'm a simple woman), daddy kink, dry humping, dirty talk, oral (F receiving), vaginally sex, multiple orgasms, over-stimulation, degradation, name-calling, pet names (baby girl, princess etc.), unprotected sex (no creampie).

A/N: Here's the much anticipated part two for yesterday's fic. Thank you for being patient everyone, and sorry to tease you all by having this completely written before pt 1 was even published but sometimes the anticipation only makes it better lol... Hope you will forgive me 🙏 ALSO! I hit 300 followers on this account yesterday, and I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has supported my writing here thus far! I can't do anything to celebrate as I'm on holiday for the next few days but thank you so much ♥️

Check out Part One!

Requests are open, and in the meantime please check out my masterlist!

When you woke up; that morning, you could instantly feel something was different. Not wrong, just different.

It wasn’t that you were uncomfortable, in fact the way the quilts laid on top of you kept you almost deliciously warm in your bed. It wasn’t the general mess of the night before either, as, surveying the room with one half cracked eye, you noted that all your discarded clothes seemed to be either neatly stacked away in the corner or perhaps left in the laundry hamper in your bathroom. The curtains were open, which you guess was somewhat of a change, but you honestly forgot to close them at least twice a week, so that wasn’t what it was.

You left out a quick yawn and decided whatever it was wasn’t as important as sleeping off the absolute killer headache that was currently burning a hole in the back of your head, a constant thumping that you wanted to do your best to avoid for now.

It was when you snuggled back into your sheets and attempted to turn over to find a new position that you realised exactly what it was that was wrong. You weren’t alone.

Cursing yourself for drinking so much you stayed as still as possible, as the man in bed next to you groaned in his sleep and seemed to pull you in tighter to his chest. You weren’t exactly complaining, but you couldn’t help the panic forming in your mind, as you absolutely had no recollection of bringing anyone home.

Scratch that, you had no recollection of getting home yourself at all.

Whoever it was, it was evident that he’d at least somewhat taken care of you. You couldn’t feel the mascara you’d worn last night glueing your eyelids shut, so obviously one of you had had the foresight to remove your makeup, and you honestly doubted it was you. The fact that you were wearing pyjamas, too, was probably a more positive sign. If you did have sex with the man, he’d most likely encouraged you to put clothes back on so you didn’t catch a chill in the night.

And boy did you hope that you had gotten lucky with whoever it was at your back last night. You couldn’t see his face obviously, with your back pressed up against his entire body, but you could feel him and he felt delicious.

He was long, and lean, but you could feel some strong muscles underneath as well. Even in sleep, he had a strong grip on your waist, the pressure of it pulling you back so your ass was directly in line with his crotch. You were almost tempted to shift slightly, to see if it’d give you a few more ideas about who your mystery man could be.

The best thing about him, thus far, however, was his scent. You knew that after drinking all of the alcohol you remembered ordering last night - and perhaps more that you didn’t remember - you absolutely didn’t smell that hot. And after a night of partying and dancing, too, you could almost feel the winter sweat sticking to your skin. Your bedmate, however, smelt absolutely fucking amazing. He had a musky, earthy scent, but it didn’t seem artificial. It felt warm and homely and all you wanted to do was turn around and nuzzle into his neck so you could breathe him indeeply.

But you had no fucking clue who this was, and you were coming up with blanks as to where you could’ve picked him up.

“Think, Y/N, think for once,” you whispered to yourself, chastising yourself for going shot for shot with Emily of all people.

You remembered being in Penelope’s apartment listening to Emily talk about her love of chardonnay, and you remembered the girls promising to find you a man that night. They’d obviously succeeded, but at the cost of your entire memory of the situation.

You thought a little harder again, back to sitting at the table and your stupid little game of fuck, marry, kill where you’d amitted your growing attraction to your office’s resident genius, and then downing a probably near fatal amount of shots to inspire your friends to forget they heard anything, and then… And then it all goes blank.

So you had no clues as to who your mystery man could be, and you didn’t want to risk waking him just to find out. In a last ditch effort, you cracked your eyes open again and reached out for your phone, sitting prettily on your nightstand, plugged in and charging. Whoever this man was, he was a saint, because if you couldn’t remember getting through the door, you definitely didn’t put your own phone on charge.

Trying not to stretch too much, you grabbed the phone and bought it as close to you as possible, shielding your bedmate from the light coming out of it. You immediately opened the messages, and your stomach dropped at what was waiting for you there.

Emily: I TOLF U I WAS A GR8 WING WOMAN!!1! When you two make baby ggeniuses, dont say I dind’t tell you so.

Penelope: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Which is admittedly not a lot, but still!!!

JJ: Remember to take advil in the morning, I’m sure Reid will remind you as well, but you drank a lot tonight, and you never know when we’re going to get called in 🙂

The messages didn’t give you much of the context you needed, especially the ones sent by Penelope and Emily, but there was enough there to work out that you had majorly fucked up. And the sound of his groans from next to your ear told you that you only had around thirty seconds before your theory was tested and your mystery man woke up.

“Mornin’” came the voice from behind you, and if it were possible your heart started beating even faster. It was him.

“Reid! Good morning!” You tried to keep the curiosity and anxiety out of your voice, as you finally turned over to look at him. His sleepy face was one of the most beautiful things you’d ever seen. His hair fell in small waves into his face and you had to stop yourself from brushing it behind his ear for him. There was a five o’clock shadow forming on his face that you’d never seen before and the scruff really suited him. His most distracting feature, however, was his lack of shirt. And the many small love bites that were now forming on his neck.

“How’s your head this morning? I was going to try to get you to take something for it last night, but you wouldn’t let me.”

“Oh my head? It’s fine, totally fine. Nothing to worry about there. Totally not pounding.” You groan and he cracks a smile at your attempt to downplay your self-injury. He grabs your hips and pulls you closer somehow, and you almost panic, ready to place your hands on his chest and push him away, but you’re not quite ready to admit that you don’t remember exactly what you did or didn’t do the night before so instead you push your hands up to his neck and play with his hair.

“Are you going to ask or do you remember?” He smirks down at you, rubbing small comforting circles into your back. You let out a small sigh, a goodbye to those few blissfully peaceful moments.

“Ask what? Ask if I remember climbing into bed with my coworker and leaving some quite pretty marks on his neck or ask if I actually got further than my fantasies have in the last month?” You trace your hand down his neck, stopping at a rather red patch where you can still see some trace of your lipstick from the night before.

“Ask whether or not I’m going to be fair and tell you what actually happened, or keep you in the dark and let your imagination keep running wild.” He lifts his body up, and rests on his side, his arm propping his head up.

You make a sound of protest and attempt to follow his movement but his free hand holds your hips down with a soft pressure, holding you there less with strength and more with the weight of your own curiosity at whatever it is his body is suggesting.

“You begged me last night you know,” he starts, leaning down and whispering it directly into your ear. “To stay. To fuck you like a desperate little whore.” Your legs pushed together now, a sorry attempt to curb the growing need pooling between them, but he didn’t let up.

“You pushed me down on the bed when I didn’t do what you wanted, like a little brat. So drunk out of your mind that I couldn’t touch you, but begging for it like you would die if I didn’t hold you down and let you scream my name.” The hand on your hip moved up and under your pajama shirt, a rather flimsy thing that did nothing to stop his oncoming conquest of your body.

“You made me promise something, you know?” He says just as his hand reaches one of your nipples. He pinches it, hard, as you throw open your mouth in a near silent gasp. Your hips buck involuntarily, and suddenly one of his legs is between yours, pinning you down again so you can’t move as he keeps his attention on your chest.

“Made me promise I would stay and not let you forget. Promise that, when you woke up in the morning, I’d fill you in on everything you did, everything you asked for.” He keeps his voice as low as a whisper and you can feel his breath on your neck, the contact sending a shiver down your spine, arching your back and pushing your breasts further into his hand.

“S-Spencer-” you beg with just that one word for more. But he stills his hand and moves it out from under your top.

“But if you remember, then we’re finished here right. I can go?” He looks down at you, pouting now and you hesitate for a second before answering him.

“I don’t remember. I don’t remember anything, so please…” you don’t quite know what you’re begging for at that point, but if you’d filled him in on any of the jucier details of your fantasies as of late, then you were in for a very fun morning.

He shifted his weight again, this time pushing your hips together, and holding his chest up with his arms stacked on either side of your head, you looked up at him again as one of his hands came down and encouraged your leg to wrap around his waist, allowing him to push even more of his weight down into you.

His head moved back to your ear as he began rocking his hips tantalisingly slowly into yours, dry humping into you.

“At first, you didn’t even know it was me. Just fell back into whatever body you thought would pay you the most attention. Rocked yourself back into me on the dancefloor, right where anyone else could see what a little whore you were being.” Despite the layers of clothing that separated you and the torturious pace, you felt your arousal growing by the second as you listened to him recounting the events of the prior night.

“And even when you realised it was me you didn’t fucking stop. Kept teasing me and playing with me in public, in front of our friends.” He growled a little bit then, obviously still angry about your actions the night before. You were bucking your hips up to match his movements now, teetering close to the edge of an orgasm. He hadn’t even really touched you yet, and you were like putty in his hand, ready to be molded into whatever shape he wanted you in.

“I drove you home, kept my hands off you, I was perfectly ready to let you forget the entire thing, but you couldn’t keep your mouth shut could you.” His hand was on your ass now, encouraging you to keep up your pace and deepening the contact between the two of you. You could feel his entire length pressed into you, and you wanted it inside you.

“Told me you wanted me to slam you against a wall and finger-fuck you, wanted to be my cheap little whore, wanted me to use you,” he groaned into your ear and bit down on your neck a second later, and you moaned, the pain and pleasure mixing together deliciously.

And then he stopped, pulled away and rolled off of you, and you cried out at the loss of contact when you were so close to your release.

“What is it, baby? You want more?” He smirked from his new position, sat up on the opposite side of the bed, just far enough out of reach that you had to crawl over to him.

And so you did. So desperate for the man, you climbed into his lap, and begged him for any reciprocation with your moans as you began grinding down on his leg again.

“Does my little slut want to cum?” He asked, his hands placed firmly and flat on the bed sheets either side of him, leaning back softly to watch your attempts to entice him into touching you again.

“Get off and strip down to your panties,” he demanded, and you happily complied, not caring where the offending pieces of clothing landed before jumping back into his lap. Apart from his lack of shirt, he was still in all of his clothing from the night before, a pair of loose sweatpants and boxers, and you relished the feeling of the fabric against your legs as you wrapped your legs back around him.

“I want you to use my leg to get yourself off baby, do you think you can do that?” He asked you, and you immediately nodded your head, desperate to start, but his hands on your hips stopped you.

“Use your words baby, answer me nicely.”

“Yes, fuck, yes I want to do that, please,” you whimper and he loosens his grip a little bit.

“Yes, daddy,” he demands and your eyes shoot up to his. Seeing that he is completely serious you feel yourself only growing more aroused as you stutter out another reply.

“Yes, please daddy.” He smiles at you again now and lets go of you completely, resting his hands on the bed again. Your hands come up to his shoulders and you begin your movements. You push your chest directly against his, desperate for some of your bare skin to be met with his, your aching nipples rubbing up against the plains of his chest in a near perfect way. You grind down into his thigh like its a lifeline, your every attempt to set an even tempo foiled by your absolute desperation to reach your climax.

He keeps talking to you throughout, mixing the sweetest of affirmations with the most disgusting insults, both driving you more and more crazy as the minutes tick by.

“Look at this disgusting little puddle my little girl has left on my pants. You’re so desperate for me, aren’t you my sweet little whore?” You moan out a reply, but he wants your words again. Delivering a painful slap to your ass he asks again, and this time you eke out a reply.

“Yes, daddy, I’m a nasty little whore, I want you so badly, daddy.” You whimper, the words and the shock of the slap bringing you ever-closer to your first release. Your arms are wrapped around his back now, scratching and marking him as if to claim territory, each one of his sharp-intakes at the pain driving you closer and closer until you finally feel yourself fall off the edge.

“So good for me baby,” he presses a kiss to your temple as you collapse into his arms, breathless from all of your hard work.

“I didn’t even have to touch you, and look at you. Looking like a fucked out whore, just for me baby girl," he whispered into your ear as he lifted you up, gently laying you back down on the bed.

“You think you can still do some more, baby?” He asked, and you nodded. This time it was enough for him, because he instantly shed the rest of his clothes and moved between your legs.

“You look so beautiful like this, baby. Gonna take care of you okay, just relax,” he kissed the words into your neck and started trailing kisses the entire way down your bosy. He paused briefly to show your breasts some attention, swirling his tongue around one nipple while he teased, pinched and pulled the other one, eventually switching to give them equal love.

But he didn’t stop at your breasts, pressing kisses down the length of your stomach before reaching your panties again. He looked up at you from his position before pulling them down your leg, making sure that your entire attention was devoted to him. He didn’t have to try hard, as your thoughts had been filled with him ever since he’d woken that morning, and you found you were quite content for it to stay that way forever.

He lifted your hips and slipped the offending piece of fabric down your legs. You shivered at the loss of contact at first, the sodden lace having been stuck to you after your desperate movements earlier. You were bare for all of five seconds before he dove into you, nudging your clit with his nose while he pressed kitten licks against your slit. You moaned out, not caring about controlling your volume, and didn’t stop as he continued licking and kissing like he was a man starved.

His tongue eventually made its way up to your clit and that’s when you lost it, bucking your hips wildly up into his mouth in a desperate attempt to use his face to get yourself off, but one of his large hands pinned you down again. He didn’t let up, rolling your clit around his tongue, bringing his other hand up to press a finger into you, beginning to pump in and out.

You didn’t even feel the build up this time, just closed your eyes as your hips jerked up once, twice into his face, not even a breath escaping your lips for what felt like an eternity as he let you ride through your second orgasm. He didn’t stop, but he removed his mouth from your centre, his fingers still pumping into you as you began twitching underneath him.

“Good girl, so fucking good for me. You’ve got one more left, right baby? One more left to give me, hmm?” He asked, but you couldn’t answer anymore, just nodding your head as best you could and bucking into his hands like a woman gone mad.

“Perfect baby, open your legs wide for me, okay?” His voice was gentle now as he gave his cock a few pumps, removing his fingers and flipping you onto your knees, putting you in the perfect position for him.

“You have to tell me if you want me to stop, okay princess? Tell me if it’s too much and we can end this right here,” he gently pulled the hair away from your face and pressed a final kiss to the back of your neck, finally lining his cock up with your glistening hole.

Then he’s finally pushed into you, and you could've sworn you saw stars. He fully sheathed himself inside of you and didn't move for a minute, choosing instead to press small kisses against your neck and back whilst you adjusted to his considerable length. He didn’t have to wait long though, as you could feel yourself practically dripping around him, making even more of a mess of your sheets.

He picks up a steady pace, pulling out halfway and then snapping his hips back into you with such force you’re grabbing your pillows with a vice grip. You tried to push your head back down into the pillow to soften your moans as well, but he grabbed you by your hair, wrapping it around his wrist, using his new leverage to pull you back onto his dick with each stroke.

“Wanna hear you baby girl, don’t fucking hold back,” he grunted into your ear, the new angle of his hips hitting that deep spot within you that had you flooding the sheets almost instantly, pushing out wave after wave of cum as you moan his name like an animal driven mad.

“That’s right baby girl, fucking cum around my cock, get it nice and wet,” he continues pounding into you, pulling out more and more of his length each time to hit deeper and deeper each time he returns to you. Your legs were practically shaking then at the overstimulation, your tongue hanging out of your head as you failed to form any coherent thought except “yes.”

His hips start faltering quickly and you knew he was close. A few more snaps of his hips and he pulled out of you completely with a small curse, shooting his load up your back as he released his hold on your hair gently. He collapsed on top of you, his arms around you as he kissed his way up your spine.

The two of you sat there for a few minutes, the only sound that of your ragged breaths as you both attempted to catch your breath. After a few minutes he pulled away, and you heard him retreat to the bathroom. He came back swiftly with a washcloth and cleaned the two of you up, wiping his cum from your back and chest and doing his best to clean up your cunt without overstimulating you even more.

“Baby, we have to go to the bathroom now, you need to pee,” he gently turns you over and you whimper at the movement. He presses a gentle kiss to your cheek and you push yourself up to a sitting position next to him, unhappy that he’s being so responsible now after possibly ruining you for other men forever.

“You’re going to have to carry me, you know,” you grumble, resting your head against his shoulder. “My legs are still shaking like I’ve just walked a thousand miles with no rest.”

He chuckles at that and wrapped your legs around him, picking you up swiftly. He didn’t move immediately, just content to have you in his arms for a few seconds. You looked down into his eyes and you felt it too. Like you’d never want to be anywhere else but right here, in his arms. You pressed a gentle, sweet kiss to his lips and you felt his smile as he returned it.

“Come on, Y/N, it’s not the first time I’ve had to force you into the bathroom and I doubt it will be the last,” he laughs, and you laugh with him. And in that moment you realise that he has you for life.

--X--

🏷️: @ihavenotitlesblog @gibbsgirl7 @beefyboisbeefybongos @bluecandycake @piecsesrising @dim-i-try @simp4f1 @marylovesevanpeters @daddy-dotcom @alondralolll @thearsonistrat @eddiemunsonssweetoltatties

(I know some of you didn't ask to be tagged but you asked for a pt. 2 so thought it couldn't hurt, lmk if you want to be untagged!)

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #maturereiding #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fandom

4K notes · View notes

entitled-fangirl · 3 months ago

Text

Manhood. (P2)

Cregan Stark x wife!reader

SMUT

Summary: it's the morning after they consummated their marriage.

Part 1

Masterlist

A/n: Dare I say this could even have a part 3 cause I still have ideas for it???

.................................

The next morning, she was the one to wake up first.

She yawned and stretched, the light from outside barely lighting up the room, signifying that it was still too early to begin the day.

She turned to Cregan who still laid fast asleep. His hair was a mess, a reminder of what they had done the night before.

Only then did she feel the dull ache between her legs.

She sighed lightly and shuffled closer to the man. She gently brushed her lips against his.

She let out a surprised squeak when Cregan kissed her back.

The woman pulled away to see Cregan's lips pull into a wide grin, his eyes still closed.

"Cregan…." She lightly reprimanded.

A soft chuckled rose from his throat and his arm reached out blindly until it found her waist and he pulled her as close to him as he could. "You'll have to forgive me, my love," he huskily whispered into her ear, "I'm only now recalling our late night adventure."

She hummed lightly, her cheek against his throat, "You recall it fondly, I hope?"

His grip on her waist tightened, "Very fondly."

She giggled and began to kiss his jaw.

He let out a small groan as the rest of his body began to stir awake at her touch and he finally opened his eyes, "So eager to go again?"

"I'd never leave this bed if we didn't have to," she admitted as she nipped at his ear.

He pulled his head away to look at her, "we've a few hours at least. Let us use them wisely."

"You've grown rather bold overnight, my lord husband," she teased. "What happened to the meek man I slept with only yesterday?"

He chuckled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "He now knows how pleasureful laying with his wife can be, and he's eager for more."

Her cheeks flushed a deep red, "Is that so?"

His eyes took in her flushed state, "Only if you'll have me."

She was taken aback by his words, only to have it grow a boldness within her, "Gods, I'll have you in every lifetime, Cregan Stark."

He brushed his lips against hers, and the kiss grew hungry.

Cregan reached down below the blankets with a steady hand and she gasps when his fingers brush against her clit.

She pushed her upper body away from him, "Evil man…"

His thumb continued its movement against her, "Tell me what you want."

She swung a leg over his body and she forced herself on top of him. His grin only widened as she did so.

Once comfortable, Cregan began his movements again. She let out a curse under her breath at the feeling.

His other hand found her waist, rubbing soothing circles against her skin. "Taking me like this, sweet woman?"

"I intend to try," she finally admitted as she willed herself to do so.

She reached down and lined his thick cock up to her body, and began to lower her hips.

She lets out a small whimper and the new sensation, "It's too much. It's too much… I can't…"

The hands on Cregan's chest are trembling even though they don't hold any of her weight.

She's never been on top before, and it's getting to her.

Cregan reaches up and grabs her jaw, pulling her face down to his gently. His voice was a calm reassurance,"It's not. Look at me."

He waits until she does, "You know you can take it. You've taken it before. You're just panicking. Take a breath."

He watches her chest expand and contrast with a shaky breath.

"Do it again."

He makes her continue this until he can feel her walls relax around him.

"Good. You're doing good, sweet girl."

His hands go to her hips and gently push her further down on him more.

This time a moan leaves her lips instead. "Oh, gods…"

A string of groans leaves Cregan's lips when she begins to roll her hips.

Judging by the confidence she just gained, they'll be doing this position more often.

"You complete me, my girl," he finally moans out as his hand moves to her clit again.

The two move in tandem, as if they were truly made for one another.

Completely drunk on pleasure, she lowers her upper body to his, desperately trying to capture his lips with hers.

He is quick to give in, letting her take anything she wanted.

The kiss is messy and unorganized, gasps and moans interrupting it consistently, but the two didn't care.

This new feeling was worth it.

"Only one w…" Cregan let out a stiff whine when she rolled her hips just right, "w… one woman for me, and it's you… gods, it's you."

He didn't last long, and neither did she, the two making a mess of the furs on their bedspread.

She collapsed onto him, not bothering to pull herself off of him completely. He brushed a hand up and down her back comfortingly.

Once the two caught their breath, she interrupted the silence. "We still have time…"

......................................

Taglist: @twinkletwinklenotastar, @kidd3ath,@yujyujj, @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia, @ashovertheriver

#fanfiction #cregan stark x reader #game of thrones x reader #cregan stark x you #game of thrones fanfiction #game of thrones x y/n #cregan stark x y/n #game of thrones imagine #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfiction #cregan x reader #creagan stark #cregan stark imagine #cregan stark #cregan stark x female reader

968 notes · View notes

won4kiss · 5 months ago

Text

⋆ ｡⋆୨୧˚— CALL ME BABY !

𝜗𝜚 ༘⋆ ⋆˙pairing. boyfriend! nishimura riki x fem! reader. synopsis. after spending hours on getting ready for a date and riki then cancelling, you weren’t going to forgive him quite easily! genre. angst ,, fluff. wc. 1280. 𝐥u𝐧a notes ⋆.˚ how i love riki!! schools done for a week omggg. <3 🫧 — 𝓵𝗂𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗋𝔂

if you enjoyed reading,, please reblog & like!! <3

YOU SAT IN THE CHATTER FILLED CLASSROOM, staring blankly at the board while your thoughts were churned with a mix of anger and frustration.

yesterday was supposed to be a special day. you had planned a cute date with riki, one you had been looking forward to the entire week.

you had spent hours getting ready, picking out the perfect outfit, curling your hair, and even doing a special make up look!

but just as you were about to leave, your phone buzzed with a message from your boyfriend,

"sorry, something came up baby :( , i can't make it today."

the disappointment had been like a punch to the gut. you tried to brush it off, and telling yourself that things happen, but it still angered you.

today, in class, you could feel the weight of that disappointment hanging over you. you had avoided riki all morning, not trusting yourself to keep your emotions in check.

when the door to the classroom swung open and riki walked in, you rolled your eyes, not being able to keep your pettiness inside of you.

he looked around, his eyes searching for you. when he finally spotted you, he gave you a small, shy and hesitant smile. you averted your gaze over to your notebook, pretending to be caught up in your notes.

he approached your desk, his usual playful and loud demeanour replaced with an unfamiliar one.

"hey, baby.." he said softly, taking a seat beside you. "can we talk? we haven’t spoken all day and it’s already last block…"

you nodded, keeping your eyes fixed on your notebook. "what is it, riki?"

his eye twitched as he grimaced at the use of his name, a look of hurt flashing across his face.

"i... i wanted to apologize for yesterday. i know i disappointed you, and i'm really, really sorry. something unexpected came up, but it’s no excuse. i should have told you sooner but it slipped my mind."

you took a deep, shaky breath, trying to keep your voice steady. "it's not just about yesterday, riki. it's about you not considering my feelings. i spent hours getting ready for you, and you cancelled last minute. it really hurt, and you didn’t even bother explain why."

riki reached out to take your hand in his, but you pulled away huffing. he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "i know, angel, and i feel terrible about it, i’ll punch myself if you want me to! i want to make it up to you. please, just forgive give me and give me a chance."

you finally looked at him, giggling at the use of his words, as your eyes meet his. there was genuine remorse and sincerity in his expression, and it tugged at your heart, feeling warm.

"how do you plan to do that, mmh?"

he brightened slightly, his eyes lighting up with a spark of hope, and it made you feel even warmer, how could he even have this pull over you when you’re mad? you thought.

"i have something planned for after school. it's a surprise, but i promise it'll be special. please, just come with me?"

you hesitated, the lingering feelings of wanting revenge still fresh in your mind. but the dedication in his voice and the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the world made it very very hard to stay mad.

"okay," you said finally, breaking the silence. "i'll give you a chance, i guess.”

riki's face broke into a relieved smile. "thank you. i promise you won't regret it."

the rest of the class passed in a blur. you were curious about what riki had planned, but you kept your guard up, not wanting to let your hopes get too high. when the final bell rang, riki was at your side in an instant, his excitement radiating off of him.

"ready?" he asked, his eyes shining as he looked into yours.

you nodded, allowing him to take your hand this time. he led you out of the school and towards the park nearby.

as you walked hand in hand, he kept glancing at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. when you reached the park, you saw a blanket spread out under a large tree, a picnic basket in the center, with a bow wrapped around a teddy bear.

"i know it's not much," riki said, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "but i wanted to do something special for you."

you looked at the picnic setup, your heart melting at the effort he had put into it. "riki, this is absolutely perfect."

his face lit up with joy. "really? i'm glad you like it, only the best for my princess."

he led you to the blanket and helped you sit down. the basket was filled with your favorite snacks and drinks, and there was even a small bouquet of flowers. as you started to eat, riki kept glancing at you, a nervous look in his eyes.

"are you still mad at me?" he asked quietly, almost whispering as he awaited your response.

you took a deep breath, feeling the last of your anger melting away. "no, i'm not mad anymore, riki. but you have to understand how much it hurt when you cancelled last minute."

"i do," he said honestly. "and i promise i'll do better. you're important to me, and i don't want to make you feel like that ever again, i love you."

you smiled softly, feeling the sincerity in his words. "thank you, riki.. i love you too.”

you said whispering as you caressed his face in adoration, your heart bursting with love.

he beamed, leaning closer to you. "does this mean i can hear you call me baby again? i really missed hearing you say it."

you gigged, the sound light and genuine, riki smiling at the sound he had oh so loved. "i don’t know if you've earned it..." teasing riki.

riki's eyebrows furrowed as he nudged at your arm. "please, say it. just once."

you rolled your eyes playfully but couldn't help the smile that spread across your face. "okay, baby."

he let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders finally relaxing from the stress in his body. "you have no idea how much better that makes me feel."

the rest of the afternoon was spent with laughter and lighthearted talks. riki kept finding ways to make you smile, his usual playful self making a full return. as the sun began to set, casting a beautiful sunset over the park, he reached out to take your hand again.

"i'm really sorry for messing up," he said quietly. "i know i can be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but i really do care about you."

you squeezed his hand, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "i know you do. just... don't forget our dates again, okay?"

he nodded vigorously. "never again. i promise."

“good” you replied, finally taking his face in your hands, kissing him softly.

you giggled into the kiss as you felt riki grinning as he let out a content sigh.

as you both sat there, two souls intertwined in love, watching the sunset with riki by your side, you felt peace settle over you.

the anger from yesterday had faded, replaced by the warmth of his love. you leaned your head on his shoulder, feeling his arm wrap around you in a comforting embrace.

"i love you, baby," he whispered, his voice filled with love.

you smiled, feeling your heart swell with happiness. "i love you so much, riki."

and in that moment, everything felt right.

taglist open <3 @luvlyhee @sjyunnsworld @shawnyle

send an ask or lmk in the comments to be added !! ㅤㅤ(ꈍᵕꈍ)ㅤ

871 notes · View notes

starryalpacasstuff · 1 month ago

Text

The Absence of India in Discussions on Queer Asian Media

So, yesterday @lurkingshan tagged me in an ask she got from @impala124 about the absence of India when we're talking about queer Asian media. I was intially just going to reblog it with my thought, but as it kept growing I figured it'd be best to just make my own post. Please read the ask linked above first so this makes sense.

*cracks knuckles* this is going to be the most fun I've had writing a post in ages. (For a little background, I'm a queer Indian, born and raised)

So, this is a very interesting question on a subject I've been rotating in my head for the past several months. There's a lot of different variables that contribute to the noticeable lack of discussion on Indian and South Asian queer media in general, so I'm just going to talk through the ones I've noticed a little randomly.

Talking about Asian media in general, it's well known that the mass popularity of kpop and anime has contributed massively to the increase in popularity of Asian media. If you've been in the Asian media fandom for any amount of time at all, you'll have noticed that media from Korea, Japan, and China gets by far the most attention from international audiences; all East Asian countries. There may be several reasons for this, but in particular, it's no secret that the fetishization of East Asians is a massive proponent in the popularity of media from these countries, while there's no such interest in South Asians. If we shift our focus to queer media specifically, media from these three countries is still extremely popular, with the addition of Thailand and the Philippines to some extent; both South East Asian countries. From what I've seen, there's very little international interest in media from South Asian countries (although, if we're talking about India specifically, I can't exactly say anything. Bollywood has not been good lately). If we talk about queer South Asian media, the scope of interest falls even further. If you'll notice, MyDramaList, one of the most commonly used websites for finding and tracking Asian shows only allows for East and South-East Asian shows. So, that's one reason—there's just not much international interest in Indian media in general. As Shan said in the initial post, it's partially because of a difference in priorities. Korea is notorious for using media to gain global standing, the role of the 'soft power' of Thai bls in the recent bills for equal marriage in Thailand has been widely discussed, the list goes on. Could racism also play a part in the massive gulf of interest in media from East Asian versus South Asian countries? Probably. But I'm not going to get into that too much.

Moving on, there's obviously a massive lack of queer media in India. I think this is greatly exacerbated by the fact that it's very hard to support the people making queer media beyond buying and/or streaming their work. The majority of people engaging with Indian queer media are queer Indians, and a lot of us have to do so in secret because of the society we live in. This means that creators that have to push through several obstacles to publish their work often receive little incentive to continue doing so because of the lack of engagement. Because of the lack of media, international fans are less likely to become interested in queer Indian media, and the cycle continues.

I will say though, contrary to what Shan said, I think Indian media, particularly anything that came out post 2019 might actually be on the easier end of the spectrum when it comes to access. This may simply be bias, so forgive me if I'm wrong here, but from what I've seen, a lot of queer Indian shows are in fact available on streaming sites, and at most you'd need a vpn to access them. I think the two main things that actually hold back queer Indian media from becoming more popular are a lack of noise and it's relatively lower quality.

The main way we find out about new shows in this space is through either word of mouth (well actually, post) or because we follow production houses known for producing media. Because of the sparse nature of both the media and the consumers, there's very few people who learn enough about the media to want to give it a shot. For example, there's a film on netflix called Badhaai Do (hindi for Congratulate Us) that I've been meaning to watch for a while. It centers around a lavender marriage and I've heard a lot of good things about it, so I was slightly surprised to see that most of the people on tumblr I interact with who have been engaging with queer media for far longer than me had never heard of it. There's also a, Indian BL from 2017 called Romil and Jugal that I've written about before here, and I would've never learned of it's existence if not for a friend hearing about it from another friend of hers.

Because there's so little queer indian media, it's natural that the quality leaves much to be desired. The main issue is, because the queer asian media market has become so saturated lately people are becoming a lot more selective with what they watch, and for good reason. This means that queer media from india is simply unable to grow and improve over time, leaving it stagnant. Back in 2016-2018, the overall dearth of queer media from Asia meant that a lot of people were willing to watch shows that were average or even worse. Thailand particularly seems to have benefitted from this, being able to grow and evolve its queer media due to the successes of shows like SOTUS, 2gehter, TharnType and more even recently, KinnPorsche. Queer Indian media will have a much, much harder time with this because of all of the factors I've talked about and more, meaning that it is much harder for queer media to evolve. Honestly, though I haven't been able to watch/read much queer media from India, the stuff I have seen is really quite decent, it's just that it tends to fail in comparison to some of the brilliant stuff we're seeing from other countries. A while a ago, I bought four queer books by Indian authors, and of the three I've read so far, I'd genuinely recommend two, albeit one with quite a few reservations (I'll be writing about them sometime in the future, just haven't found the time yet). While talking about this with @neuroticbookworm, she brought up the excellent point of how Indian media in general has just been of fairly poor quality lately. It seems to me that a lot of it is catered to more conservative audiences, which results in people like me becoming disillusioned with Indian media and simply moving onto things from other countries. It has been a long time since I've watched anything worthwhile come out of Bollywood. So, it becomes even harder for queer Indian shows to be found at all; a majority of their target audience has already forsaken Indian media as a lost cause.

So, those are a bunch of reasons because of which there's not a lot of discussion about queer Indian media in fandom spaces like Tumblr. Something else I'd like to point out is, it's very hard for queer shows in India to gain much traction whatsoever. Live television slots are ruled by the infamous Indian serials, the majority of the audience being people in their late thirties and older, particularly women. And while homophobia is just as prevalent amongst the youth of India as it is amongst older generations, younger people are far more likely to be engaging with queer media, in India at least. This means that it would be near impossible for queer shows to air on live television the way they do in countries like Thailand and Japan. The majority of Indian youth use global streaming services to watch shows, hence the greater concentration of queer shows on service platforms. (Romil and Jugal is something of a dark horse here—I don't believe it was ever aired, but it was produced by a producer who has a few decently popular serials under her belt and is available on an Indian steaming service—another reason I'm determined to research how tf this show ever came into existence) If we talk of movies, the industry is limited by the iron fist of Bollywood, another reason it's very hard for queer movies to be produced and why they're generally found on streaming sites.

There's just not a lot of people who have the balls it would take to make a queer Indian show/movie and push it to the Indian public beyond a streaming service. I mean, we're all seeing what's happening with the Love in The Big City drama right now, and believe me, public backlash in India would be the same, if not much worse. And if no one in India is watching these shows, why would anyone in any other part of the world? There's barely any public figures that would be willing to participate in such a project, so queer media stays underground. Currently, Karan Johar is the most popular—and one of the only—out celebrities in Bollywood, and, well, he's treated as something of a laughing stock by the public. He has one or two queer adjacent shows under his belt as a producer, but once again, they're barely known and available only on Netflix. There was a movie called Dostana in which he played a straight guy pretending to be gay but, well, that speaks for itself. And well, I can't exactly blame him for it, knowing how the Indian entertainment industry is.

To talk a little more about the specific comparison between India and Korea, I think you're fairly accurate in saying that the two countries seem to be roughly on par in terms of homophobia, although that's an extremely vague statement that's rather hard to either prove or disprove. While the difference in international attention towards Korean and Indian media is certainly a major component of the difference in discussion about the queer media from these countries, there's obviously other things that go into it as well. There's this video I watched some time ago on the progression of queer representation in K-dramas that's quite well researched. It's an hour and a half long, so in case you don't have the time to watch it (though I do recommend it), it basically talks about some of the dramas with queer rep that have aired on Korean television and their impact. While it's hard to gauge the level of impact of these shows on the availability of bls and gls in Korea, they certainly had an effect, if only telling the queer population of Korea that they are seen and heard. To my knowledge (although I may be mistaken), no such queer rep has ever aired on Indian television, meaning that there's nothing to push creators to put queer media out there. There have been old movies and shows that depict queerness, but none of them ever reached the sort of the scale where they may have some sort of impact on the industry. As I mentioned earlier, the widespread popularity of K-dramas (and k-pop) does make it easier for creators to make queer media since there's a much higher chance of the shows being successful thanks to the international audience. Bringing back Love In The Big City, the success of the book abroad and the high probability of the show being well received internationally is probably one of the reasons it was able to be produced amongst domestic backlash.

Now, I've been talking a lot about how it's difficult for queer Indian media to gain any sort of international recognition with domestic attention. However, it's not necessarily the case. Here's where I start rambling (I say, as if this post isn't verging on 2k words). It's been proven that the presence of the international market allows for greater creative freedom in spaces beyond television. The best example comes from Korea's very own 'soft power'; K-pop. There's a K-pop group called Dreamcatcher that debuted in 2017 with a rock sound and horror concept that was extremely rare in kpop at the time. They succeeded mainly by focusing most of their promotions to the foreign market, knowing that their concept would not be well liked in Korea. And they succeeded. Today, Dreamcatcher has a sizeable fandom and has even been growing in popularity in Korea, with the Korean public warming up to their genre and having influenced other girl groups to try out similar sounds. We've already talked about the lack of international attention for Indian media, but there's also the issue that the producers of queer Indian media aren't marketing to foreign audiences, which remain ignorant.

That's all I have, this is so long good lord. All in all, there's a bunch of factors that feed into each other creating a cycle which means that, unless there's a break somewhere, queer Indian media will remain unrecognized. I'm excited to see what other people have to say, because this is a topic close to my heart and I'd definitely enjoy seeing more discussions around it.

#yet another 2k post by yours truly who apparently Does not Have Self Control #this was fun though!#uffff im tired #this is not edited so forgive me if there's error or i repeat stuff #how do i even tag this #queer indian media #queer media #desiblr #fandom #bl meta #ql #meta #indian media #asian media #asian dramas #asian lgbtq dramas #bl industry

342 notes · View notes

icarusredwings · 3 days ago

Text

Do you guys ever think about dementia Charles seeing Pietro and getting sad or becoming really happy because his poor mind connects the dots that he's Erik? It dosn't compute that this wouldn't be Erik because hes too young to be Erik rather assuming that he is young Erik and not exactly having the logic to understand that they are so differently aged.

"Oh! My old friend, you've gotten a haircut. Quite bold of you. It makes you look much younger."

".. yeah, yeah, old man.." he mutters, trying to avoid him best he can, but sometimes, when the others are busy, he can't stand to leave him alone. Coming to sit with him just to litsen to him gab about random nonsense, talking so fondly about his X-men and memories dear to him.

"Do you remember?"

"Do I remember what?"

"When Jean got her first bad grade and she cried to you about how cruel I was to her." He chuckles softly. "And all she got was a B-"

Pietro stares at him like he's crazy. Jean cried to his father? But why? He had his own children to take care of. So why would he treat her like that? It makes him a bit angry. "No.. I don't. What else?"

"Hm?"

"What else happened? With jean and my da- erm. Me."

"I believe it's Jean and I." He corrects his grammer, making the younger man roll his eyes in annoyance. Once a professor always a professor I guess.

"Sure. Jean and I.."

"You acussed me of being too hard on her, but when I explained it, you laughed... I haven't seen you laugh like that in so long.." It's sort of now that Charles remembers what's going on. Who he's talking to.

"..Im sorry. Who are you again?"

"Well you like to call me speedster."

"Pft. No I do not. Mr. Maximoff.. you've grown so big since the last time ive seen you."

'You just saw me yesterday' he thinks but makes that awkward smile and nods. "Yup.."

"Youll have to forgive me. Im not always.... here."

"I know.. are you alright?"

He shrugs in his chair. "About as alright as anyone could be in my situation." Ah yes. The paralyzed old bald man who was losing his mind still had jokes. Funny. But sad. He remembered him being so similar and yet.. so different.

It's not long before Jean comes to give him his medicine again, convincing him that it was for the kid's saftey. "You don't want to hurt them. Do you, Charles?"

"No... but I'm not that gone yet. I can decide when it's best to take my medication."

She smiles so sweetly at him. "Professor, you made this time schedule yourself. Im just doing what you told me. You always knew best for us."

"Oh.. well, alright then."

Before Jean can walk away, He stares at her.

"....Why did my father like you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Charles... he said.." He trails off, not sure how to say it without talking too quickly.

"He said you cried to my father. And.. he defended you."

Jean tilts her head. "I wouldn't say defended. I was just a child having a fit." She admits then shifts, looking at the walls as if remembering.

".. He was here a lot.. and then he just.. stopped coming. Im sorry. I don't know why. Like I said I was just-"

"Didyoureadhismind?"

"Uhm.. just a couple times."

"Jean used to con you into getting her ice cream." Charles smiles, closing his eyes, reminiscing.

"He.. got you ice cream?"

Jean's not dumb. She understands his frustrations, glancing at the old man and then to Pietro again. "Like I said.. I was just a kid.. I was just excited to be able to use my powers. I didn't mean anything by it. I didn't even know he had other children."

"...He never got us ice cream.. he didn't even bother sign my birth certificate.."

"Im sorry, Peter... Professor? Tonights dinner is potatoes gravy turkey with apple sauce. Remys making it so it might be a little spicy."

"Oh, that's alright. He means well. Erm.. thats the blue one right?"

Jean snorts. "No Professor. He's the card one."

"Oooh yes. Reeemmyy... right." He says his name slowly as if trying to connect 'the card one' to 'Remy' in his brain.

"...Bye Peter." She says, now awkwardly leaving.

"Remys that rat from the cooking movie" Pietro whispers and Charles' eyebrows raise. "Ahhh! Remy! That's right."

He might be an x-men. But he could still pull a little evil here and there.

#pietro maximoff #quicksilver #charles xavier #professor x #jean gray #erik lehnsherr #magneto #cherik #charles has dementia #x men #x men days of future past #x men first class #dadneto #remy lebeau #gambit #remy ratatouille #what if #peter maximoff

176 notes · View notes

lamentationsofalonelypotato · 6 months ago

Text

Chapter 17: How Could I Ever Forget?

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter seventeen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 9.1K

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing, Angst, Past Violence reference, Soft Ben, Fluff, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC, Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Additional Warning: Soldier Boy is again, super OC and fluffy in this chapter. If you do not like that, you probably shouldn't read this?

Guide

Rosemary's Phone

Reader's Phone

You sigh softly as you wake, the light from under your curtains illuminates your bedroom and sends a warm glow over your bed. You had never been a morning person. The only motivation you ever had to get out of bed was the hope of a cup of strong coffee waiting for you in the kitchen. But as you lay there, mind still a little cloudy from sleep you can't help but think that something feels different, that you've forgotten something important.

Maybe a shower will make me remember.

Instinctively you start to move towards the edge of your bed to get up, but something heavy tightens its grip around your chest making it impossible to move from its embrace.

What?

“Where are you going?” Ben’s voice is slurred and muffled against the pillow behind you.

The events of the night before begin to surface from the sweet haze of sleep, Ben showing up, you yelling at him, him bringing you lavender and saying everything you always wanted him to, and finally him holding you while you cried. You still weren’t sure that last part happened. That or Ben's ability to open his heart to you and tell you what he was feeling rather than reverting back into the cold attitude he adopted as Soldier Boy. In fact, you hadn't seen one shred of Soldier Boy yesterday, you'd only seen Ben, and deep down you hoped that you'd never see Soldier Boy ever again.

“Stay.” He murmurs, pulling your back into his muscular chest. “Please.”

His body is wrapped around yours, shielding you from your door, face buried in your hair, while one arm rests around your abdomen and the other is somewhere above your head bracing against the headboard. It feels natural and it makes anxiety electrify your veins.

Because what if he was going to leave again?

You turn your head to look over your shoulder.

Ben’s head is laying on the same pillow yours is, his eyes are closed, and his hair is falling forward into his peaceful face. Deep down another memory of this exact scenario surfaces, of you waking up before him when you were children and wishing that he wanted this as much as you did. Of course now he said he had wanted you the entire time time, and that he wasn’t going to leave, but deep down you dreaded what would happen when he opened his eyes.

Would he go cold again? Push me away? Say that he didn't mean any of it?

You try not to think that. You wanted him to mean all of it. You wanted him to fix it, to make it like it was before, make everything like the morning you woke up on his chest and he smiled down at you like you were everything he ever wanted. You wanted every day of your life to start that way, to be fused with wonder, love, and expectation. That morning you had woken up on his chest after your birthday, was one of the happiest memories you had, but what followed those few moments of happiness tore your heart out.

He said he wanted to fix this, that he wanted to be with me. You bite the inside of your cheek. He’s lied before. The thought fills you with dread.

“You’re thinking too much.” Ben sighs opening one green eye to stare at you. It’s a light green from sleep, but just as piercing as usual.

“I am not.”

Sometimes you though that Ben was psychic, because he was always able to read you, the same way that you always had been able to read him. Even when you were kids Ben was always able to tell what you were thinking, not to mention he always had a habit of showing up whenever you needed him.

Ben chuckles and opens his other eye. “I know you better than anyone else Sweetheart.”

“Maybe a little.” You admit.

“Hmm.”

You turn in his arms so you can look at his face and Ben adjusts his arm to drop over the curve of your hip, gently brushing his fingertips against you the base of your spine. But you don’t smile.

“What is it?” He whispers moving his face closer with a soft smile that tugs at something in your chest. “You can tell me.”

“You know.” You don't meet his eyes, the sour feeling in your chest growing with your confession as you level your gaze at his chin.

“Oh.” Ben's smile drops into a frown.

“It’s a little weird. That you’re here and you want to be-“

“I do.”

“I know. But I keep waiting for you to leave again, for you to push me away.” You hate that you have to say it out loud, but he might as well know what you're thinking. He needs to understand how much he hurt you and how worried you were about that. It was worse to keep it inside. That's what you had been doing for the better part of 40 years and now that it was all out in the open you did feel a little better, but it still hung on your heart.

“I don’t want to leave you-"

“I know that. Or at least a part of me does. The other part…” You trail off.

Ben is quiet for a minute, before he brings his hand up to brush away the strands of your hair that have fallen into your eyes. “Do you still want me here?” His expression turns pained when he asks it, voice barely above a whisper.

You look at him, tracing the strong jaw you’d memorized, the unruly brown hair that you always wished to run you fingers through, the proud arch of his brow, and the gentle bow of his lips. “Yes.” You answer honestly. "I do."

Ben looks relieved. "Then I won't leave."

The weight of those words grounds you to this moment. He wants to be here. He doesn't want to go.

"How'd you sleep?" His right hand is still tracing your spine in smooth comforting circles over the back of your soft t-shirt.

"Good. Did you sleep?"

"Better than I have in forty years."

"I figured." You smile faintly. You allow your hands to rest on his chest, just over his heart between you so you can feel the steady beat against your fingertips. It solidified the fact that he was here with you. You stop the urge to trace your finger across his muscles, but instead focus on the warmth that soaks through his shirt into the palms of your hands. "Probably should get a little more sleep, those dark circles look like bruises." You trace the prominent purple marks that curve beneath his eyes.

You think about everything Ben told you about the lab that he was a prisoner in, all the experiments and torture he went through believing that he deserved it.

He didn't. You think to yourself as you search his face, noting again that Ben looks the same, but also different. I wonder if I'm the same way. Then again I didn't go through forty years of unrelenting torture in a Russian Lab.

The thought makes anger surge against your skin. When you were with Countess you had felt a little guilty about losing control, but now you reveled in it. She deserved more than what I did to her. If I had known what she did to Ben, I would have made it hurt.

You think about Noir, the TNT Twins, and MindStorm. You had been happy to lose touch with them after everything that happened with Ben, happy to leave behind the life you had when you were on Payback, but now you weren't sure. Ben telling you how they betrayed him made you reconsider your life in the shadows, made you reconsider turning your back on your powers. Because they deserved the same thing you did to Countess.

"I was trying to, but somebody woke me up." Ben rolls his eyes at you, bringing you out of your thoughts of your teammates. "I remember you hating mornings as much as I do. Why are you awake?”

"I do hate mornings, but coffee makes them tolerable. Plus, I really need to take a shower."

"Oh good. I didn’t want to say anything but you really stink." Ben teases with a smirk.

"Wow." You scoff. "Big talk coming from the guy who smells like reefer, whiskey, and week old motel."

"You’re right I should probably take a shower too. But I’ll let you go first. Seems like the gentlemanly thing to do." Ben's smirk coupled with the mischievous glint in his eyes makes your heart warm. It was familiar in the best way. You didn't realize how much you missed it, how much you missed him. You'd tried to forget of course, how much you needed him in your life, how much you longed for him to be with you, and how much your friendship meant to you.

"Oh are you calling yourself a gentleman now? Because-"

“I am as much a gentleman as you are a lady and we both know that it’s a close tie.”

“Uh-huh sure.” You roll your eyes. "Maybe I would have been a lady if someone hadn't gotten me kicked out of the Dawson School For Girls."

"I never heard a thank you for that." Ben shrugs. His hand continues to circle at the base of your spine, his touch trailing warmth up your back. You weren't prepared for his touch to do the same thing to you that it did forty years ago.

It made you forget everything else, but him and it scared you. Because again you could feel yourself opening up to him, could feel yourself beginning to depend on him being there with you.

"I'll be sure to write you a thank you note."

“Hmm." Ben breathes. "Don’t use all the hot water.”

“Since this is my apartment and I pay for the water I feel that I should be entitled to use most of it.”

“Are you saying that I have to write you a check to take a shower?”

“Yep.”

“You’re fucking annoying.” Ben rolls his eyes at you playfully.

“I know. I’ve got forty years of sarcasm to make up for, so, might as well get used to it.” You smirk tapping him on the nose.

“I look forward to it.” Ben smiles back.

You try to get out of your bed again, but Ben tightens his grip on your waist pulling you back against his chest so that your faces are inches apart.

“Ben, I can't take a shower if you're holding me hostage." You joke pushing against his chest.

Ben leans his forehead against yours, making the next taunt vanish from your mind. “I missed you.”

You smile despite your mixed feelings over the two of you and the past forty years. It was hard to hold on to the fear of him pushing you away when he was holding you so close to him and gazing at you the same way he did the morning after he gave you everything you wanted.

“I missed you too.” You reply, gently smoothing a wrinkle in the front of his t-shirt.

It wasn’t a lie. You missed him more than life itself. Not just because you loved him, but because he was your best friend. He knew you inside and out, better than anyone else.

His gaze drops to your lips then flicks up to your eyes and you know what he wants but you're not ready.

“Ben-“ You breathe as he shifts his face closer. “I want to take this slow. I need us to take this slow.”

“I know.” He sighs, but then the edge of his mouth twitches. “That’s why I didn’t make a joke about saving hot water and taking a shower together.”

“Much appreciated.”

“Mhmm. It was difficult not to.” Ben pauses, his expression turns serious. “I’m going to make this right I promise. I’m going to fix this.” It wasn't the first time he'd said it, but it was nice to hear again.

The determination in his voice makes you hopeful. It made you understand that he wasn’t going to give up, even if that meant waiting for you to be ready. He was showing a considerable amount of restraint. The Soldier Boy version of Ben was not gentle or patient, but it made you feel special, as if it was only you that Ben reserved this part of himself for.

“I know.”

“I love you.” His hand comes to cup your cheek, bright green eyes searching yours earnestly.

“I love you too.”

Ben's thumb gently traces across your cheekbone. “Maybe don’t take a shower.”

“You said I stunk.” You reply with a snort, leaning your face into his touch.

“You don’t. I actually think you smell a little like me right now.”

“Oh great-“

It wasn’t that he smelled bad. Ben still smelled like his shampoo and aftershave, but there were a few other smells, all of which were stale, and ones that you attributed to the motel room Butcher made him stay in.

I can’t believe Butcher just left.

You hadn't asked Ben how he got him to leave or really why Butcher was so eager to help Ben get out of Russia.

“I like it. Plus that means you'd have to go and I don't want you to go yet." Ben’s voice softens.

Your eyes widen with his confession.

"Stay.” He whispers. The vulnerability in his eyes is back, striking you full on in the chest. You weren’t used to that, used to him being so open about wanting you, about wanting to be with you. Or really his want to do something so intimate without having sex.

"Okay." You relent and he pulls you closer.

Your hands drift up into his hair before you can stop them, rustling through the chocolate strands, smiling as Ben sighs and presses his head into your right shoulder.

And as conflicted you are about all of this, it does something to you, makes a piece of yourself fit back together that you thought you lost long ago, because you saw that Ben was trying. He was making an effort to fix all of this. And you really hoped that he could.

When you get out of the shower Ben isn't in your bedroom and the dread comes roaring back like an old enemy.

Did he leave?

The thought is immediate, followed by how empty your bedroom looks without him in it.

Shit. How can I be so dependable on him being in here already? Why am I doing this to myself again?

"Ben?" You say cautiously, shaking out your wet hair around your shoulders onto your soft t-shirt.

"Out here." Ben shouts from the kitchen.

The amount of relief you hear when he answers in his warm timbre again makes you anxious, because you hated how much your body responded to him and how quickly you had reinserted him into your life. It was like your heart wanted to break again.

You had opted to put the same clothes on that you had been wearing before because the sweatpants and t-shirt were preferable for a lazy morning and you weren't expecting to go anywhere today.

Well, not really. Then again I might have to go talk to Rosemary. How do I tell her that her dad is back and he showed up at my apartment? Or better yet, how do I tell her that he spent the night?

You press your lips together.

I mean I didn't sleep with him, but I did sleep with him and I don’t think she's going to be ecstatic that he's back in my life. Or our lives? Is she going to actually want him in her life?

You think about what Ben said about not leaving and his want to stay with you.

How am I going to explain any of this to her? She's just going to say that I forgave him and not listen to me. She's just so damn stubborn.

Another thought crosses your mind just as quickly.

How am I going to tell Ben that he’s a dad?

You had considered that exact question in the past, when you wondered what would have happened if Ben hadn’t died. If you would have told him that you were pregnant and if he would have even cared. Especially after everything he said that night and everything he did.

And now that he was back and said he didn’t want to leave, you weren’t sure how to tell him he was a dad. He was still trying to get used to living in the present, not to mention you were still trying to get used to him wanting to be there with you and the idea that he loved you.

But I can’t just avoid Rosemary. She needs to know this, needs to know that he’s back. Why is my life so complicated?

Ben's reply is followed by a loud crashing noise and some muffled curses, that draw you out of your thoughts about your daughter.

"Are you okay?" You run out of your bedroom into the hallway, but stop in shock just as you enter the edge of your living room. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Come on you stupid, fucking thing!" Ben shouts. He’s standing in your kitchen, holding your coffeemaker in a chokehold against his chest, and aggressively jabbing his finger against the digital interface.

“Wait stop! You’re going to break it! And I’ll never forgive you if you break Sully!” You rush over to where he's standing in your kitchen, taking the machine from him and placing it back on the counter. It looks okay, but not having coffee this morning was not an option for you. Not having coffee after the night you'd had meant that someone in the apartment was going to die and it wasn't going to be you.

“Sully?” Ben asks confused.

“The coffeemaker.” You begin to hook it up and type in the normal settings you use, before going to look through your cabinets for the bag of coffee grounds.

I know I still have some in here somewhere.

“You named your coffeemaker?”

“He looks like an Sully." You shrug as you look over at him with a smile.

You didn't tell him that it was Lou that named the coffeemaker after you watched Monster's Inc. with her and she imprinted on the closest blue object.

"And what are you doing?” You ask. The smell of the coffee grounds gives you a jolt of energy as you scoop out the correct amount for the machine.

Ben watches you go through the steps. “I wanted to make you coffee.”

The thought was surprising, given that Ben had never made you coffee, ever. Whenever he woke up at you apartment all those mornings you both either went for coffee at the café down the street, or you made coffee while Ben took a shower.

“It’s okay I’ll do it. It’s a little more high tech than what you’re used to.” You start to push him gently out of the way so you can reach the glass decanter where it sits on the drying rack next to the sink.

“No.” He says firmly, refusing to budge. “I want to know how to make you coffee.”

“Why?”

“Because you love coffee and maybe one morning I’d like to- I don’t know- make you some or something?”

“Do you see yourself in my kitchen? Because that’s something I’d never imagine-“ You try to think of him walking around, making breakfast or dinner but the image doesn’t fit. Ben didn’t know how to cook, not to mention his usual misogynistic attitude usually meant that he never set foot in the kitchen except to find a bottle of booze.

He crosses his arms over his chest defiantly. “Well this is where I live. I imagine that I’d be in the kitchen at some point.”

You freeze, your hand still pressed against his bicep from when you tried to move him out of the way.

“What?” Ben realizes what he’s said. “Oh- um- I know you want to take things slow, but I figured I could just sleep on the couch. I didn’t need to sleep in bed with you like last night. I-“ He scrunches up his face, unsure. “I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t going to leave you again and I thought I might as well be living here. But if I assumed wrong I can get an apartment if that makes you more comfortable. I mean I didn’t use the one I had forty years ago, I spent most of my time at your apartment with you and I kinda thought-well-“ He’s watching you with wide eyes. “Fuck. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have assumed-“

Ben was blabbering, nervous despite his inability to admit it, afraid in his own way that you were going to reject him, think him less of a man for revealing how much he wanted you to be in his life. And it does something to you, understanding that you're not the only one who's afraid of what comes next.

You smile at his obvious discomfort, heart clenching to see how much he wants to stay, and recognize how much you don't want him to go. How despite everything, you want him to stay here with you, and that you don't want him to live somewhere else. Because living somewhere else means that you wouldn't wake up in his arms and you wouldn't see his sleepy smile when he first opened his eyes.

You hug him around the waist and tuck your face into the hollow of his throat. “You can live here Ben.” You say, your voice no more than a murmur.

“Are you sure? I know that you don’t want to rush things. You want to take this slow and I understand how important that is to you.“ Ben's hands come up around you to hold you closer to him.

“Kinda hard for you to fix things if you’re living somewhere across town.” You mutter into his shirt, nuzzling your face into the soft fabric. “Plus I like the idea of you bringing me coffee in the morning.”

“And I like the idea of living with you.” He whispers into the top of your head. “So does that mean I’m entitled to hot water?”

“We can discuss terms later. Right now I really need some coffee.” You place you chin on his chest and look up into his deep green eyes.

“So you’ll take payment in the form of coffee?” Ben's smile is contagious.

“Perhaps.”

Ten minutes later Sully is buzzing pleasantly as it brews, glinting blue in the light that streams through the large windows on the opposite side of your apartment, and Ben knows how to use it without swearing and breaking it in half.

He drifts over to the part of your living room that serves as your art studio, examining the canvases splashed with color and the half-full sketchbooks on the large wooden table pressed under the windows. It was messier over there than the rest of your apartment, but you thrived on the mess, thrived on the chaos of art supplies that were scattered over the table top like multicolored fish.

“I followed your advice.” You smile leaning against the counter to watch him. “Started selling my art. It’s selling pretty well. Has been for a while.”

It was still weird that he was here in your apartment. Each time you looked up and saw him, you were surprised, but at the same time there was something deep down that was happy to see him there, dressed in normal clothes. Waking up next to him and having him make you coffee was the domestic relationship you had wanted with him so long ago. It was what you used to imagine when you were curled up on your couch in your old apartment downtown.

“Of course it is. You’re talented.” He replies while flipping through your sketchpad, the flick of the pages drowned out by the bubbling of the coffee.

"I actually have a show coming up in a few weeks-" You weren't sure if you were still going to make enough pieces in time, especially given everything that was happening in your life with Ben or what would happen when you told Rosemary.

"Good." Ben glances up from the sketchpad. "I want to go."

"I'd like that." You blush under his gaze before your eyes drift back to the box of letters smiling faintly. “I still can’t believe you kept them.”

“Got kicked out of boarding school number nine because of them.”

“I thought you got kicked out because you were in a fight.” You raise an eyebrow. “You never told me why.”

“Because someone stole the letters and read them out loud in the cafeteria.”

“You’re kidding!” You snort.

“No.”

“So he exposed you for being a simp and your immediate reaction was to fight him in the cafeteria?” Your fingertips brush over the faded script on the sheets of paper.

“Being a what?” Ben looks confused as he walks slowly towards you.

“Oh right.” You press your lips together to think of a way to explain it without insulting him. “It means being head over heels for someone.” It was a bit of a stretch but he didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know that the meaning was closer to something Ben would ascribe to being a pussy.

“I am.” His hands go on the counter around you pinning you between the metal and his muscular chest, looking down with so much love and care in his eyes that it makes you dizzy.

It was jarring. How could he flip the switch so easily? How could he be so open now to me and not be like this before?

You think about the moments you spent in bed together 40 years ago, the look in his eyes the perfect morning, how he held you like he never wanted you to let him go and you didn’t want him to.

“Are you now?”

“Mhmm.” Ben tilts his head down towards your forehead, but just before it rests against yours, your phone buzzes where you left it on the counter the night before, drawing your eyes to the illuminated screen.

“What is that?” Ben asks. You gently push him away to pick up the phone that continues to vibrate.

“Shit.” You mutter to yourself. You had ten missed calls from Rosemary not to mention a barrage of texts that each got more and more unhinged as they were delivered.

Rosemary: Hey. Rosemary: Did you land? Rosemary: Mom? Rosemary: HELLO? Rosemary: Mom are you in trouble? Rosemary: MOM. Rosemary: Please you’re scaring me. Rosemary: Pick up the phone. Rosemary: PICK UP THE PHONE Rosemary: PICK Rosemary: UP Rosemary: THE Rosemary: PHONE Rosemary: If you don’t pick up I’m going to buy a plane ticket. Rosemary: I bought a plane ticket. Rosemary: I’m packing a bag- Rosemary: I’m calling Lou’s babysitter. Rosemary: I’m scheduling an Uber!

Rosemary: Alright to whoever has my mom’s fucking phone, I’m coming and when I get there she better be okay. Because if she’s not, there will be nowhere for you to hide.

You tap out a quick message to sate her ridiculous descent into madness, before thinking of what you need to say next.

You: Rosie it’s okay. I’m fine!

She Immediately texts back.

Rosemary: What’s the safe word?

You: Pineapple.

Rosemary: What’s the second safe word?

Your fingertips hover over the screen as you try to remember if Rosemary had decided a second word that gave the all clear, but you can't remember one.

You: We don’t have a second safe word?

Rosemary: I know I was testing you. Where the hell did you go? Why didn’t you text me? I thought the plane was supposed to land early this morning?

You: My plans changed I didn’t have to go to Russia. I’ll tell you later. Lots happened and I need to work a few things out.

Rosemary: What happened? Did you find out he wasn’t there?

You: No I didn’t need to go.

You stop typing to try and think of a way to phrase that her father showed up out of the blue and slept over.

Well he didn't sleep over, sleep over, but he did stay in my bed with me and… she's going to kill me.

Rosemary: Because?

Rosemary: BECAUSE?

You: He kinda showed up here.

Rosemary: HE WHAT?

You: He showed up at my apartment.

Rosemary: Are you okay? DID HE HURT YOU? ILL BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES-

You: No he didn’t hurt me. I promise. All we did was talk. If anything I hurt him.

Rosemary: Good.

You watch the three dots flicker across the screen of your phone to signify that she is responding, waiting with your heartbeat thundering in your ears.

Rosemary: Is he still there?

You: Yes.

Rosemary: Do you need me to come over?

You: No. He’s been through a lot. The last thing he needs is for you to show up guns blazing. I haven’t told him about you or Lou yet-

Rosemary: You fucking forgave him didn’t you? WHY?!!

You: I didn’t forgive him. It’s complicated-

Rosemary: What happened to just slapping him around a bit then telling him to fuck off? That was a good plan. I LOVED THAT PLAN!

You: Well I did tell him to fuck off but it got more complicated.

Rosemary: OH MY FUCKING G-

“Hey you okay?” Ben’s voice jars you from the barrage of messages on your phone. His gaze is leveled on your face, noting the worried frown that pulls at your lips.

“Yeah. Sorry someone was texting me-“ You try to wave him off, afraid that he can see the texts on the screen of your phone.

I don't want him to find out this way. Not by glancing over my shoulder and seeing the manic, overprotective texts from our daughter.

“They were what?” He looks down at the phone in your hand confused, but you lock the screen.

“Oh right. Sorry I forgot that you’ve been living under a rock the past forty years. It’s kinda like sending a message, instantaneously so you can talk to someone else.”

You really didn't feel like explaining texting and Wi-fi at the moment with him. You were too worried about the introduction between Ben and Rosemary that was looming over you like a guillotine.

But he still looks confused.

“I’ll get you a phone, don’t worry.”

There's so much he's missed.

Your phone buzzes in your hand and you know it’s Rosemary.

She's not going to give up.

Ben looks down at it again curious. “Sounds like someone’s trying to get ahold of you.”

“She can wait.”

“She?”

“Friend of mine.” You answer quickly.

Ben raises an eyebrow. “I can tell when you’re lying.”

“I know.”

The phone buzzes again and you sigh, knowing that the longer you ignore her, the worse it will be. And the last thing you needed was for Rosemary to show up and kick down the door of your apartment with Lou in tow.

“Impatient isn’t she?” Ben comments, noting how the phone continues to vibrate.

“Yeah she is. She’s also incredibly stubborn.”

“Huh sounds like someone I know.” The edge of his mouth quirks in a familiar smile that makes you wish that you had the courage to tell him.

“You have no idea.”

“So?”

“Are you going to answer her?”

“I should.” You press your lips together trying to think of a way to bring this up. “Ben I have to tell you something.”

“What?” He brushes back your hair, tenderly stroking his finger along your skin and trailing warmth with his caress. It distracts you for a moment.

“Well after that night we spent together I-um- I stopped being a hero.”

How the fuck do I say this?

“Yes I assumed that given what we talked about at the premiere.” He frowns remembering that night.

“And it wasn’t just because I wanted to leave it was because-um- well, I was different.”

How is he going to react? Is he going to be happy? Angry? Upset that we weren't more careful?

“Sweetheart I know you’re different, that’s why I love you.” He’s watching you softly, eyes a light green, filled with more love than you can comprehend.

It makes it difficult to find your words.

“No not like that I was, well, there’s no easy way to say this.” You pause and take Ben’s hand, raising your eyes to his and stroking your thumb over the warm skin. “I left because I was pre-“

Butcher kicks open the front door of your apartment interrupting what you were going to say next. “Good morning lovebirds. Did you kiss and make up yet?” Butcher flashes a salacious grin, eyeing Ben and your close proximity.

“That’s none of your fucking business.” Ben snaps his eyes narrowed at the man standing in the doorway.

“Touchy.” Butcher raises his hands in a sarcastic surrender.

“Why are you here?” You ask turning to look at him.

Could he have chosen a WORSE time to come here?

Hughie is loitering in the hall behind him as if deciding whether or not to come in. You couldn't blame him. The poor guy looked like a deer in the headlights yesterday when you threw Ben across the room.

Butcher walks into the kitchen straight for the coffeemaker not asking for permission before he pours himself a cup. “Well I found those TNT fucks that your boyfriend was looking for. Thought he’d want to pay them a visit.”

You turn to look at Ben surprised. “You’re going after the twins?”

Ben and you hadn’t spoken about his next move. He’d only talked about his plans to stay with you and hadn’t mentioned anything about going after your old team.

Not that you were against it. You weren't against making them pay for what they did to him. You weren't against making the remaining members wish that they hadn't sold Ben out. Of course, you hadn't said that to Ben. If anything you were going to give it a few days to get settled together before you brought it up. And you certainly weren't going to bring it up in front of Rosemary, who had been less than pleased when you killed Countess, and wouldn't approve of a bloody rampage all over New York. It definitely wouldn't make her like Ben any more than she already did.

"Yeah." Ben's expression darkens as his eyes flick from your face to Butcher. “Where are they?”

“A few hours outside New York. Brought your suit.”

You didn't like how eager Butcher was to help Ben and remember what Legend said about how Butcher liked killing supes. It made you anxious, because why would Butcher want to help Ben? Was it for the thrill of it? But the last thing you were going to do was leave Ben with a guy who likes killing supes.

Hughie holds up a plastic bag that must contain Ben’s old supe suit and you try not to shudder when you remember the last time you saw him wear it.

“I’ll be a minute.” Ben mutters to you squeezing your hand once before taking the bag and disappearing down the dark hallway towards your bedroom.

But you're not done talking about this with him and as you turn to follow, Hughie steps in front of you.

“Hey I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry."

“About what?” You ask confused.

What does he have to apologize for? He saw Ben and me yelling at each other and saw me throw him across the room. If anything I should be embarrassed about them hearing everything that I shouted at Ben yesterday.

“If I had known what happened between the two of you I would have tried harder to keep Butcher from bringing him here.” Hughie rubs the back of his neck and scrunches up his face sheepishly.

Again, what is he doing hanging around Butcher? Hughie seems to care about other people. And Butcher just seems like-

Your eyes skate to where Butcher is drinking from his cup of coffee unamused. And Butcher is just an asshole.

"It's okay. I'm glad you did. I've been holding on to some stuff for a really long time and Ben has been too. I’m glad that we got to talk things out.”

“So you're okay now?" Hughie raises an eyebrow. "He didn't-“ He pauses as if he's uncomfortable saying what comes next and you try to understand why.

“Didn't?” You ask confused.

“He's kinda rough I was worried that he would-“

He thought that Ben would hurt me.

“Ben might seem a little gruff, but not with me. He's never-“ You stop remembering the premiere and adjust your sentence. “He wouldn't hurt me. And if anything you saw that I can handle him pretty well.” You can't help, but smile and nod your head back towards the couch.

“Yeah. That was intense.” Hughie cracks a nervous smile.

“Yeah” You laugh awkwardly. “ I didn’t mean to lose my shit like that. I’m usually pretty good at controlling myself-"

“Is that what happened to Countess?” Butcher interrupts.

You blink at him surprised. “Yeah. She tried to kill me and she- she said a few things not worth repeating. I didn’t go there with the intention of killing her, I actually just wanted to talk but it got out of hand.”

"What exactly are your powers anyway? Vought's files said you were like him." Butcher nods his head in the direction of where Ben disappeared to.

"I am." The lie is easy. It was the secret that you kept for eighty years, the secret that only Ben and Rosemary knew. Because you knew that particular power made you different than other supes. You had been disappointed to learn that Rosemary's power also made her different than the usual roster of other supe powers that you had encountered in your lifetime. And it made you worry about Lou. Rosemary and you were waiting for the day that Lou's powers manifested and you hoped that Lou didn't have any.

Butcher's eyes narrow like he doesn't believe you, but you shrug it off.

“But I’m going to go check on him so I’ll be right back.”

And you leave your kitchen before Butcher and Hughie can ask you anything else.

When you walk in through the door of your bedroom, Ben is changing into his suit. He’s wearing the dark pants, but the top half of his suit is aying on your bedspread, and that means that you can see every perfect indention of muscle on Ben’s torso.

You'd seen him without a shirt before, obviously, many times, but each time it did the same thing. Again you curse him for looking this good after being trapped in a Russian lab for 40 years.

Did they let him work out there? Was the lab the same place Ivan Drago trained before he faced Rocky? How is any of this fair?

Your cheeks warm and your heartbeat thuds loudly in your chest as you gaze at him, so you turn back to close the door behind you to clear your head.

"You also get me pretty excited when you take your shirt off Sweetheart." Ben smirks at you with a wink as he picks up the top half of his suit, sliding it on over his head, but his helmet is nowhere to be seen.

Guess he wasn't trying to hide anymore.

You stand there for a minute watching him. "Are you sure about Butcher?"

"What about him?"

"I don't know. I don't understand why he's helping you with all of this-"

Ben goes silent and he turns towards his toolbelt, gun, and knife on your bed.

"What did you promise him?" You take a step towards Ben, to catch his eye.

He doesn't answer immediately, instead he buckles his toolbelt around his waist. "He wants me to go after Homelander. He said that he would help me find what's left of our old team if I do."

"Homelander?" You sputter. "You're kidding right?"

"What? He looks like a pussy-"

You could see some of the macho version of Soldier Boy beginning to unfold from the man who stood in front of you and you didn't like it. It wasn't that you hated the protective side of Ben, the side that always made you feel safe, it was the other side, the side that beat others into submission after they had surrendered that you didn't like.

"Do you even know anything about him?"

Honestly you didn't know too much about Homelander either, just that he was Vought's new golden boy and seemed incredibly shallow, not to mention each time you saw an interview or a picture it unnerved you.

Homelander's eyes were cold, lifeless, and empty. Each time he smiled you could see a glimmer of something dark behind them. You had seen it before, seen it in the eyes of supes like Liberty who believed that nothing could stop them, supes who believed that they were gods and everyone else was below them.

"Doesn't matter. Butcher thinks that whatever the fuck is in my chest will wipe him out."

"And you believe him?"

"Maybe-"

"Ben."

"What? You don't think I'm strong enough to take him?" His entire body turns back to look at you, something dark lurking behind his eyes that reminds you of the day you stood between him and Noir.

"That's not what I said. It's not about being strong enough to kill Homelander, it's about you trusting Butcher. You don't know anything about him and he's using you to live out his fantasy of killing Homelander. Legend told me that Butcher has this thing about killing supes and he has a bone to pick with Homelander because he did something to Butcher's wife."

"So?"

You shake your head in frustration, trying to get Ben to understand what you were saying. "Ben please, listen to me. I don't care about Homelander, I don't care about Butcher, I care about you-"

Going after Homelander was crazy. The one thing you knew about him, was how Vought continued to stress how indestructible he was, the exact same thing they had said about Ben and you. But leaving Ben with Butcher was crazier. Butcher didn't give a damn about Ben, he was just using him to do the one thing that he couldn't do himself.

"I know that." Ben sighs. "I care about you too."

"And I don't think it's a good idea for you to be doing everything he says-"

"I'm not doing everything he says. We have a deal. And if this is about you being upset with me going after our team, you can't talk me out of it."

“No Ben-“

“Fuck whatever Butcher says about Homelander. I have to do this.” Ben's jaw tightens, eyes flashing with anger as he remembers what happened in Nicaragua.

“Ben-“

“You weren’t there when it happened. You don't understand what they did to me, what it was like to be in that fucking lab! And I’m not going to let those incestuous fucks get away with it.” His teeth grind down together. "I'm not going to let any of them get away with it."

The air in your bedroom begins to get unnaturally warm, a orangish tinge beginning to peak through Ben's suit as his new power begins to manifest.

“Ben!” You shout, stepping towards him and laying your hands against his chest to snap him out of it. Your hands burn as they press against his suit, but you don’t let go of him.

He blinks a few times, gaining control, the brightness fading as he does so, but you don't drop your hands from over his heart.

“What?”

“I know.” You say gently.

“Huh?”

“I know you have to do this and I’m not going to try and stop you from going after our team. They deserve to pay for it. I was going to say that I’m going with you.”

“No.” His answer is immediate.

“What?”

“No.”

“What happened to not wanting to leave me?”

“I don’t want to leave you. But I have to, just for a few hours. I’ll come back I promise-“ Ben's hand falls on your waist, right where your shirt meets the top of your sweatpants, allowing you to feel the warmth of his skin through the fabric.

“No. The last time I let you go alone Countess told me you died and then you got taken away to Russia. I'm not letting you go alone."

The fear of him getting taken all over again squeezes your heart in your chest, because yes, maybe Butcher wanted Ben to go after Homelander, but what would Butcher do when Ben finished the job? Would he send him back to Russia? You weren't going to sit around and find out, you were going to make sure no one did that to Ben ever again. And if that meant him not leaving your sight, you were okay with that.

Ben continues to frown at you, before an odd look crosses his face. "Did you kill her?"

"Yes." You chew the inside of your cheek. "I didn't mean to, she said a few things and she killed me-"

“She killed you?” Ben growls and he begins to lift the bottom of your shirt to find the scar forgetting himself, but you drop your hand over his to stop him.

“It doesn’t matter. She’s dead now.”

She might be dead, but what she said rings in your ears and the proud smile Countess had flashes through your mind. The triumphant look on her face after she told you why she had sex with Ben. The same look that was on her face, before you ripped her head off.

"What did she say?" Ben asks, but then he realizes after the question passes through his lips, noting your expression and remembering what you yelled at him yesterday. "Sweetheart-“

"It's okay-" You shake your head to dissipate the memory of Countess.

“No it isn’t.” Ben's hand cups your face. “What she said wasn’t true. That night meant everything to me. It wasn’t a mistake and it wasn’t disappointing in any way. Believe me.” His thumb brushes against your cheek and you lean into his touch.

“I do. I shouldn't have let what she said get to me and I shouldn’t have believed her. I can't remember the last time I lost control. I hadn't used my powers in a while-"

"Which is why you shouldn’t come."

“I don’t want you to get taken or hurt." Your hand comes up to hold his hand against your cheek.

Ben rolls his eyes at you, cracking a smile. "I won't get hurt."

"It doesn't matter what you say. I'm going."

His smile drops. “No.”

You really couldn't figure out why Ben was doing this. You both had powers and you trained together. You had been on "missions" for Vought before, and before everything happened, you were going to be in Nicaragua with him. So why was this any different?

“Why not? I’m just as strong as you. I’m just as indestructible-“

Ben pulls his hand from your face. “But you’re not indestructible! You die."

"I come back-"

"Have you thought that maybe I don't want you to come because I hate watching you die?" He snaps angrily.

"What?"

"Do you have any idea what that’s like for me?" He shouts eyes blazing through the soft light in the bedroom. “Hearing your heartbeat stop, watching you take your last breath, knowing that there’s absolutely nothing I can do?”

Whatever thoughts or words you were going to say shrivel up on the tip of your tongue. You'd never thought about it like that before. You'd thought that your ability to come back to life after would have reassured him.

He knows what my powers are. He knows what I can do-

"I hate feeling fucking helpless and every time you get hurt I’m reminded that I can’t help you! That I’m not strong enough to protect you!” He sits down on your bed, hands clenching into fists where they rest on his thighs.

"Ben-"

“When you came with me I promised that I would be strong for both of us, that I would always protect you and every time you die it just makes me feel like I’ve failed!” His gaze is leveled at you feet.

You inhale sharply with his confession. It was what he promised you the night he told you to say no to Howard, the night that you thought he was asking you in his own way to marry him. You could remember the promise, remember the way he held you close to him, eyes wide and vulnerable when he spoke it to you. That night anything had seemed possible. And despite everything that happened with Countess, Ben had never broken that promise to you. He had protected you, he had been strong for you when you needed him to be.

You remember the night of your brother's funeral when he drove all night to be there for you, and how he continued to show up in your life when you were having a hard time as if he seemed to know when you needed him the most.

"Ben-” You try again, this time a little softer.

"Do you have any idea what it’s like to exist in those thirteen fucking seconds wondering if you’re going to come back or not? If that’s the last time I’ll ever see you smile? If you’ll ever open your eyes and look at me ever again?" This time he raises his green eyes to yours and you see a lifetime of emotion reflected in them. It's the same look he had when you woke up after you took a bullet for him and died for the first time. He had yelled at you for it, told you never to do it again, shouted that he could take care of himself and he didn't need you to protect him.

And you suddenly understand, you understand why Ben knew it was thirteen seconds, why he was the first one to ever tell you that it was thirteen seconds. Because each time he counted hoping that you would come back to him.

He doesn’t say anything just continues to sit on the end of the bed, dropping his eyes to the floor again, and wringing his hands together.

You sit down next to him, the bed dipping beneath you, and reach for his hands, but Ben has other plans. He grabs your waist and pulls you up into his lap so you're straddling his thighs. You don't have time to be shocked, because Ben presses his face into your neck and brings both of his arms around your torso to hold you to him. Deep down you know that this is the opposite of taking it slow, but you can't bring yourself to push him away. Because again he was showing the vulnerable side of himself that made you want to comfort him, the side of him that he hid from you for so long.

"You’ve seen me die before.” You breathe, running your hand up and down his back in a soothing motion.

“Doesn’t mean it gets any easier.” He mumbles and you feel his lips brush against the half moon shaped scar over your heart, a reminder of the bullet you took for him all those years ago.“I thought I lost you that day.” Ben mutters into your shirt. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had-“

“You didn’t.”

“But I could have. “I hated that you did it. That you were willing to die for me. You’re worth so much more than I am-"

“The fact that you think that means the opposite.” You run your fingers through his hair, feeling his arms tighten around your hips. “Your father may have made you believe that, but I don't. You’re not a failure Ben. And you could never disappoint me.”

“I already did.”

“Hey we’re moving past that. And I’m sure that I’ve disappointed you plenty.”

“Never.”

“I find that hard to believe.” You snort, and for a moment, you think Ben is going to look up at you and smile, but his face stays buried against your chest.

“Hmm.”

You wait for a moment, stroking your fingers through his hair. “How do you think I felt when they told me you were gone? That I’d never see you again?"

“You were angry at me-“

“That doesn’t mean I wasn’t devastated when they told me you died. I thought that the last thing I’d ever said to you was that you were like your dad and that I regretted having you in my life.”

That was something that you had to live with over the past forty years, because even though what Ben did hurt you, you hated that the last time you saw him was like that. You hated the thought that Ben died believing that you didn't care about him.

Maybe in some ways he did die believing that. All those years at that lab weren't easy for him.

“I-“

“I swear if you say ‘I deserved it’ again I will kill you.” You say pulling his face up to yours and frowning at him.

“I won’t.”

"Good. Now are you done coming up with ridiculous reasons why I can't come with you to see our old friends? Because I'm genuinely curious to know if they're still pretending that they're not fucking."

Ben cracks a smile. "Yes. But only if you promise me that you'll stay behind me."

"Can't." You start to get off of him, but Ben tightens his grip preventing you from leaving.

"Why not?"

"Because I've never broken a promise to you and I'm not going to start now."

"I just don't want you to get hurt." Ben sighs.

"I know. And I don't want to lose you again." You press your forehead against his, threading your fingertips in his dark hair.

You weren't sure what it would do to you if you did lose him, if he walked out of your life or if he went by himself to face your old teammates and vanished. You had been destroyed when everything fell apart the first time, and you knew this time would be worse if it happened. You could feel it in every fiber of your being, just like somewhere deep down you could feel that what was happening now between him and you was different somehow, that it had changed, but not in a bad way.

"I don't want to lose you either Sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too."

And when Butcher beats his fist against your bedroom door a few minutes later, you're still in his arms, allowing him to hold you close and allowing yourself to begin to trust him again.

A/N: Sorry it took me a long time to get this one out! I had a hard time writing this chapter, and honestly it's still not my favorite, but big things are coming!!!

Thank you so much for reading!! If you'd like to be added to my taglist please let me know :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303

@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs

@bughill126 @simplyfixated @sleepjam @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts

@onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress

@my-obsession-spn @lifeonawhim @soldirboy @liuope @brynanna

@carpenterswife @xxannyxx @babyinatrench-coat1 @the-gentle-spirit

@valryomen @cassieriddle713 @shaggzthatsnottheworm @lil-soup @ej13928

@topstory21 @boywivlove @mrsjenniferwinchester @vivre-dans-la-nuit @megara0224

@daisy-the-quake

#soldier boy x you #soldier boy x reader #jensen ackles soldier boy #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy #soldier boy/ben #jensen ackles #the boys amazon #the boys fanfic #jackles #the boys #soldier boy fic #soldier boy x y/n #the boys series #the boys season 3 #You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

370 notes · View notes

hiitsm · 7 months ago

Text

Bound by Trust: Navigating Turbulence Together

Part 1.

You hesitate to open up to your girlfriend about what's happening at home because you've been explicitly instructed not to share it with anyone.

Angst, Hurt, Undetailed physical abuse by a parent (reader's), lot's of Comfort & Fluff

Kindness

"Y/n, you're late?" my biology teacher exclaims as I round the corner into his classroom.

"Uh... uhm... yes, I'm sorry, I forgot to set my alarm," I stammer, my voice laced with uncertainty.

"Ah, it happens to the best of us. It's okay for this time. Please, take a seat and enjoy the class," he replies with a forgiving smile.

I rush over to where Alexia is sitting, relief washing over me when I see she has saved a seat for me. I flash her an apologetic smile. She must have been worried, knowing I'm never usually late.

"Y/n, what happened? You're never late and you also didn't reply to my texts. Please don't just say that you forgot your alarm because we both know that you never forget to set your alarm," she rambled in her own whisper-yelling voice, concern etching her features.

"I'm sorry, Ale, something came up at home and I kind of lost track of time. I haven't looked at my phone since yesterday in the evening. I should have let you know, I'm sorry for making you worry," it's your time to ramble now, your voice tinged with anxiety. You don't want to make the person you love the most worry too much about you.

Your hands still shake from the incident at home, an incident you're forbidden to discuss. You can't even share it with Alexia, your girlfriend of a month. You are feeling too afraid to do that.

Under the table, Alexia reaches out and takes your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. You've been inseparable since the start of high school, and now, as you both almost get to finish your first year of university, and as girlfriends, she understands your anxiety and knows just how to help you feel calmer.

"It's okay, amor, but please try to let me know next time," Alexia says, her eyes soft with concern. You turn to meet her gaze fully, captivated by the beautiful eyes that always seem to dissolve your worries. "I will try," you whisper back, feeling a wave of emotion that threatens to spill over.

A tear—or is it?—escapes, feeling oddly placed above your eye. As you try to discreetly wipe it away, hoping Alexia doesn't notice anything amiss, you're too late.

"Amor, what happened? You have a cut right above your eyebrow, and it's bleeding a little," Alexia notices, immediately reaching into her bag for tissues and plasters.

"Oh, it must have been from yesterday's football practice," you reply, your voice filled with uncertainty. Even though you and Alexia play on different football teams—with her being on a higher level team—you both know well that you didn’t have practice yesterday.

She doesn't press further, sensing your discomfort. Whatever happened, you're not ready to talk about it, especially not in the middle of a biology class. Alexia respects your silence, offering a reassuring squeeze to your hand, letting you know she's there whenever you're ready to share.

"Psst, Ale, psst, can I please copy your work? I don’t understand," comes a sheepish voice from behind. You and Alexia turn to see Mapi grinning awkwardly at you both.

"I'm not your cat, Mapi. And why don’t you ask your girlfriend?" Alexia responds with a playful sneer, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Ingrid wants me to do it myself so that I actually learn something," Mapi admits, causing you to chuckle.

"Because you should learn something on your own once in a while," Ingrid chimes in, lightly scolding her girlfriend from across the room.

You laugh along with them, feeling grateful for the camaraderie and the distraction from your chaotic morning at home.

Being at university feels like a breath of fresh air, offering both challenges and comic relief when you need it most.

"So, next class is physiotherapy in 30 minutes. You can take a break or stay here since it will be held in this classroom," your teacher announces. You turn towards your girlfriend.

"Shall we step outside for a bit to get some fresh air?" you suggest, already gathering your things. It's always better to be safe with your belongings.

"Yes, that sounds great," Alexia agrees with a smile.

Leaving Mapi and Ingrid behind as Ingrid tutors Mapi on her work, the two of you head out.

All four of you share the ambitious dream of becoming professional football players while earning degrees in sports coaching and physiology. It’s a demanding path, but your determination binds you together. Conveniently, you all live nearby the same block in Barcelona, with the university just a 15-minute drive away.

Just as you're about to head outside, Alexia catches your hand and guides you toward the school bathroom. "We need to clean that cut first and put a proper bandage on it," she insists.

You softly roll your eyes—Alexia has always been the nurturing type, always making sure you're well taken care of. It’s one of the things you find endearing about her.

As you walk outside, you can't help but notice Alexia's lingering worry, her grip on your hand tight and protective. You feel an urge to explain things to her, despite your fears and the restrictions you're under.

"Did you come on your bicycle today?" Alexia asks, her eyes catching sight of your bike in the school lot.

"Yes, I needed to get here quickly and my mom was tied up with some other things, so she couldn't drop me off," you explain. "You could’ve asked me to pick you up, amor," Alexia responds sweetly, a hint of concern in her voice. "I know, I will next time," you assure her, leaning in for a quick gentle kiss on her lips.

"Is it okay if I join your family for dinner tonight?" you ask quietly, hoping for a reason to avoid going home too soon.

"Yes, of course, amor. I'll let my mami know you're coming," Alexia replies warmly, her voice a comforting balm.

Relief washes over you at her sweet response. "My mother is a bit upset with me, it’s probably nothing, but I just don’t want to go home yet," you confess, squeezing her hand reassuringly, grateful for her understanding and support.

"Are you okay? What was she upset about?" Alexia's voice is gentle as she guides you to sit on the grass under the warm sun.

"That new football jacket I bought," you confess, feeling your cheeks heat with embarrassment. You wonder silently if your mother had a right to be upset over something you worked for and bought with your own money.

"Yes, I remember, you bought it with your own money even though I wanted to treat you. And that jacket looks stunning on you," Alexia responds in disbelief, her concern growing. "Why would she be upset about that?"

You see the frown deepening between Alexia's eyebrows and reach out to smooth it away with your fingers. "I don't know, she's just been having a few stressful days at work," you explain, hesitant to delve deeper into the subject. Alexia senses your reluctance to continue.

"Thank you for telling me. I'll always be here for you," she reassures you, squeezing your hands with a soft smile. Grateful for her support, you lean in and plant a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"I just texted my mami, she's excited to see you tonight," Alexia shares, brightening your mood instantly. Your face lights up at the news, comforted by the thought of a welcoming environment waiting for you this evening.

"I'm excited too. I'll let my mother know I'll be home a bit later," you tell Alexia, taking out your phone to send a quick message. Although you know your mother might not be thrilled about it, the thought of returning home when your father is also there brings you some peace, as things tend to be calmer with him around.

"You know," Alexia begins, her voice dropping to a shy whisper as a blush creeps over her cheeks, "if you ever need to stay over for the night, it’s really no problem." Even though you've had sleepovers before, this feels different, your romantic relationship is still quite new. "Not that we need to do anything, or sleep in the same bed, but.. erhm.. —"

You cut her off, leaning in to kiss her softly, touched by her thoughtful offer. This gesture means more to you than she might ever realize. "Thank you, amor. That means a lot," you whisper back, grateful for her understanding and support.

As you walk back to class, hand in hand, the hurt and turbulent emotions begin to ebb away. Although you know you can trust Alexia and plan to share everything with her eventually, a trace of fear and anxiety still lingers. You prepare yourself for the day when it might all become too much, but for now, you find comfort in the steady presence of your girlfriend beside you.

As you and Alexia return to the classroom, Mapi greets you with a mischievous grin.

"Okay, love birds, time to break it up for class. Let me sit next to my best friend Ale so I can 'borrow' some of her wisdom," she teases, gently nudging you towards the chair next to Ingrid.

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas fanfic #alexia putellas #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon #ingrid engen #ingrid engen x reader

383 notes · View notes

ahgasegotarmy116 · 9 months ago

Text

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Two

Summary: The morning after the disaster that was your engagement party has got your head pounding and you're not even sure what your next move is gonna be. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 5k~ Warnings: Explicit Language (maybe idk I can't remember lol) an argument and idk that's kinda it lol and ofc barely edited lmao a/n: I'm putting out part 2 early as a thank you for all the notes and just the over all interaction you all have given my blog and this story so thank you. I've barely written anything for part 3 so there's gonna be a bigger gap between uploads so forgive me but be sure to check out my other stories as well in the meantime 🥰 Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜

Hearing the birds outside is the first thing that brings me out of the dream state I had been in. I open my eyes and scan my surroundings and notice that I'm still at Jungkook's house. "What happened last night?" I say aloud, rubbing my eyes and sitting up before laying back down, getting an instant head rush.

"Y/n?" I hear Jungkook from the other side of door. "Come in" I say before thinking twice, not remembering anything about what happened last night. "Good morning sunshine" he says quietly, walking in with a glass of water and pain killers and I sit up slowly as he comes closer.

"How did I end up in here?" I ask and wordlessly thank him and take it real quick and start chugging the water while waiting for his response. "I carried you" he replies leaving me choking at the image.

"You carried me in here?" I ask, embarrassed that he had to take care of me like that. "Yeah you pretty much passed out on me so I kinda had to" he laughs, rubbing my back hoping to help me stop coughing. "I'm sorry I kinda don't remember anything" I admit and I see his face fall a little leaving me panicking again.

"Did I do something stupid?" I cringe and he laughs at whatever memory he has leaving me even more nervous. "No don't worry you were just being cute" he teases and I let out a breath I had been holding, thankful I didn't make too much of a fool of myself, or at least by his standards.

"I'm sorry I guess I lost control a bit" I say, looking down at my hands, embarrassed that I had given him so much trouble to deal with. "You know you say sorry a lot for someone who doesn't really have anything to be sorry about" he say and I sigh, not believing his words but not having the energy or brain capacity to argue.

"Hey" he says, tilting my chin up to look at him, you're fine y/n don't worry. I'm just glad you let me be there for you. I couldn't let you leave in the state you were in so thank you for trusting me to take care of you" he says while rubbing his thumb up against my cheek and all I can do in response is blink, so caught off guard by the sudden skin ship.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, letting go of my chin and taking the water glass from my hand. "Yes and no. Honestly I feel like I'm gonna throw up" I admit without thinking twice. "I mean I-"

"It's okay, you really did drink a lot so I'm not surprised. Let me at least make you some soup so you have something in your system" he says and I nod which satisfies him. "I'll let you know when it's ready" he continues and I nod again, watching as he makes his way out.

I hold my head in my hands, begging for the medicine to kick in so this pounding in my head goes away. Although I know though that the onset stress of not knowing what happened last night is the real cause of this headache. 'What happened last night?' I question myself silently this time, going through everything that happened yesterday but the part after me coming back inside the house after everyone left is still a little fuzzy.

I sit and think for a little while longer and before I know it Jungkook is knocking on the door again. "Foods ready" he says with a sweet smile making me forget how exactly I'm supposed to respond. "Is everything okay?" he asks, coming to sit on my side of the bed. "I just, I really don't remember what happened last night" I say and he nods and thinks for a second before responding.

"How about this, lets get some food in you first and get you feeling a bit better and then I'll tell you. Okay?" he offers, tilting his head at me and I nod after thinking for a second or two. "Great, now can you get out there on your own or do you think you need some help?" he asks and I quickly go to shut down his offer.

"No Jungkook that's okay I can manage" I say and throw the covers off of me and slowly get up off the bed and I hear him chuckle a bit. "What are you laughing at?" I ask, confused as to if he's making fun of me or not.

"No, no it's nothing. I'm just surprised you called me Jungkook on your own this time" he says as I start to stand and my heart rate picks up, not even realizing I had done that. "Well you wanted me to call you that right?" I ask shyly, but I lose my footing when I stand up, still a bit weak to my dismay but before I have a chance to fall Jungkook catches me and pulls me onto his lap.

"I-" I start but am caught off by the proximity and the memories of last night start to flood my brain and I rest my head on his shoulder just like I did before I passed out.

I groan and he laughs at my reaction, "It all coming back to you isn't it?" he asks and I nod, not daring to make eye contact with him. "I can't believe I asked you to do that. I'm sorry" I say and try to get off his lap but he pull me back on it with his hands that are firmly placed on my hips.

"Hey, you didn't do anything wrong" he says, brushing the hair that had fallen on my face out of the way. If I couldn't breathe before I definitely can't breathe now, especially since I catch him looking down at my lips before quickly flipping them back to my eyes.

"Okay" is all I can manage to choke out and before he's able to do anything else I quickly get up off his lap and walk out of the room, needing to break the tension that had started to build between us.

'What the fuck am I doing? Kissing my best friend...well ex best friend's dad? Like what the fuck is wrong with me?' I walk into the bathroom in the hallway to get an extra five minutes alone so I can try to stop my heart from racing. Who would've thought that in less than twenty four hours I would have a mental breakdown not once, but twice in this same bathroom. 'Why does this shit always have to happen to me?'

After taking a few more breaths and washing my face I walk into the kitchen where I see Jungkook enjoying his morning cup of coffee, or should I say afternoon cup of coffee as I check the clock seeing it's already past two.

"Did I really sleep this late?" I ask, cringing at the thought of yet again inconveniencing him. "Yeah but don't worry I was planning on having a lazy day anyways" he says, reading my mind and motioning for me to sit down at one of the stools on the island he has in his kitchen.

He turns his back to me and starts preparing me a bowl of soup but I can help but check him out, his strong broad shoulders that lead down to his small waist and accompanied by his ass and thick thighs I could just-

"Here you go" he say, placing the bowl in front of me and I quickly bring my eyes to the food he's given me. It smells strangely like home, almost as if my mom had made it for me when I had been sick as a kid. "Thank you" I say quietly and take a bite, moaning at the warm and rich flavor that hits my tongue without even realizing what I'd done.

"That good huh?" he asks while leaning back on one of the counters with his arms crossed over his chest. "Oh- um, yeah. Yes, thank you" I say, quickly tripping over my words but he just smiles before taking another sip of coffee and I quickly go back to eating my soup. This time quietly.

"So what are you planning on doing?" he asks casually after I've finished eating, as if I know what he's talking about. "What do you mean?" I question after taking a drink of water, him having refused to give me a cup of coffee until I had at least drank two cups of water.

"You live with my daughter right?" he questions and my whole mood turns upside down. He takes notice of it and quickly back pedals, "I guess I should've waited for you to wake up a bit more before asking you that" he says, now offering me an apology cup of coffee.

"No it's okay you're right. I probably should figure out what I'm gonna do. To be honest I think I'll move out. Just because being in the same space that I used to spend time with them in just sounds like I'm setting myself up for heartbreak" and he nods at my reasoning but I decide to continue anyways, verbally processing it all.

"If I stay there I'll be reminded of all the good times we had and the many memories we made together and I don't want to be haunted by those images. Plus a fresh start sounds perfect to me" I say and he continues while adding the perfect amount of milk and sugar to my coffee, weirdly.

"So are you just going to stay there until you find a place?" he asks and I think about how awkward it's going to be just working around her until I find that perfect place. "I was thinking I could probably ask my sister if I could crash at her place for a bit" I say thinking of the first solution that comes to mind.

"But doesn't your sister live on the opposite side of the city from your internship?" he questions and I slump at that realization. "You're right. I guess I'll just have to wake up a bit earlier" I say, trying to figure out how to remedy this problem full well knowing it's been hard enough for me to wake up and get there on time even though I only lived ten minutes away.

"Why don't you stay here?" he offers and my whole body straightens up instantly, "You would let me stay here?" I ask, my eyebrows raised as high as they possibly could, surprised that he would even offer something like that and he nods in response.

"You would let me stay here?" I question again, clarifying if I heard him right. "Yeah why not? I've got plenty of space and it's not like we're strangers or anything. Plus your internship is only about ten minutes further from here than where you live now" he says, making good points as to why I should take him up on the offer.

"I couldn't possibly do that to you. I mean I wouldn't want to disturb your life like that. But thank you!" I say, shutting down the idea right away but he persists nonetheless.

"Again, I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to. You're more than welcome to stay here and you can even move upstairs into one of the bigger bedrooms. Plus I have a storage unit that I haven't really used so you can store any big pieces of furniture you might have" he continues, trying to convince me even more and when he sees that I am about to refuse again he comes up with a compromise.

"Stay one more night. Tomorrow's Sunday right? That way you won't have to worry about work or anything like that so we can just relax and talk about things over today and tomorrow and then you can decide what you'd like to do" he says and it gets me to think about it for a second which makes him hopeful and ultimately I end up accepting.

"I guess I could stay one more night" I say and he gives me a half smile which some how makes me more nervous than a full one and so I take the first sip of my coffee that has honestly gone cold by now.

"Perfect. Did you want me to go take you to your place to pick up some clothes that you might need?" he questions, jumping at the opportunity to be helpful. "No that's okay. I drove here so I have my car out front" I say, shutting his next offer down but he make another good point that has me second guessing myself.

"Are you sure you want to drive when you're hungover? I don't think I can let you do that" he says, falling into a protective mode which is endearing but I don't think I could take advantage of him like that since he's already done so much for me. "I'll be fine Jungkook don't worry" I say and he nods his head respecting my choice and I let out a breath, happy that I don't have to fight him on this one too.

"Okay, did you want to borrow some more of my clothes so you can shower before you go?" he questions and I smile awkwardly, happy that he offered but guilty that he yet again is helping me out.

"I'll be back in a sec" he chuckles and walks past me, placing a hand on my back as he passes by which makes me sit up straight at the feeling and I watch him as he jogs upstairs to go retrieve said clothes.

He comes down seconds later with the clothes, a towel and even a toothbrush in hand. "Thought you might want one of these too" he says and I accept it all sheepishly before excusing myself and making my way into the bathroom.

How am I even supposed to act in this kind of situation? Like my ex best friend's dad who I kissed last night while I was drunk is now offering to let me stay here so I can move out of the apartment I share with his toxic daughter that my boyfriend cheated on me with. Like this is just way too much weirdness for me.

I shake off those thoughts and get in the shower to quickly get rid of all of these roaming thoughts and just hope and pray that somehow things will work out and I can settle into a new normal with my own place as soon as possible but I guess that luck just isn't on my side these days...

~~~~

After getting out of the shower and getting dressed I dry my hair with the hair dryer I happened to find under the sink and try to make myself look as presentable as possible so when I go back home I don't look like the complete mess that I know I am on the inside.

There's no reason I should be showing any kind of weakness around Jina or Jared so I just need to get in and get out of there as fast as I can so I can avoid as much awkwardness as possible. Being hungover doesn't help this situation in the slightest so I just really hope that she's not even there.

Walking out of the bathroom I'm met with a freshly clean Jungkook, scrolling through his phone while sitting on the couch and he quickly turns his head once he notices I've finished up.

"You feeling okay" he asks, always concerned for my wellbeing and I guess I just need to chalk it up to the parent side of him. Maybe that's all this is? Maybe Jina hasn't really given him an opportunity to be her dad in a while so he's just seeing me as another daughter he wants to take care of. That makes a lot more sense so thinking about it now I think I can go into this with a lot clearer mindset than before.

"Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better thankfully" I say and head to the guest room where I stayed last night. "If you wanna just throw all of that into the washing machine I'll get a load going later on" he calls after me and I simply do as he asks and then head back into said bedroom.

"Hey Jungkook have you seen my phone?" I question while throwing the blankets around, trying to figure out where I could've put it. "Yeah you left it out in the living room last night so I put it on the charger when I woke up. Here" he says and I jolt at the sound of his voice being in the room with me, full on expecting him to still be on the couch.

"Thank you" I say while holding my hand out to take it with the other one placed over my heart, trying to calm down after the shock of him getting here so quickly. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" he chuckles and I wave off his apology, not seeing any need for it. "It's fine don't worry about it" I say and once I unlock it I see call after call after call after call from not only Jared but Jina, my mom and my sister, with just as many text messages to match.

"Looks like you're really popular today" he jokes, trying to make light of the situation. "Not for the right reasons" I mumble and lock my phone, not bothering to sift through the hundreds of notifications just yet.

"I've gotta head out and get a few things at the store so why don't you come with me? We can stop by your place to get your things and then this way you can help me pick out some groceries so we have stuff that you like as well" he says while grabbing his keys and instead of trying to refuse I simply nod and follow him outside.

We get in the car and drive silently to my place but once we get a bit closer I stop him. "Would you mind parking around the corner? It's just...well I don't want Jina to see you driving me around and make a big deal about it" he nods his head and without a fuss pulls into the coffee shop parking lot around the corner.

"Is this alright?" he questions and I nod and get out of the car. "Let me know if you need any help. She's my daughter so it's not like she would do anything drastic if I was around" he says, referring to her sometimes short temper. Plus with these added hormones there's no telling how she gonna be reacting to things now that everything is out in the open.

As I make my way to the apartment I check my phone to see if she's still sharing her location with me and thankfully she is and I see that she's still at work so hopefully if move fast enough I should be in and out before she comes home.

Walking into the apartment it looks as though she's started gathering her own stuff up in boxes, almost as if she's getting ready to move out. I appreciate the fact that since she fucked up that she automatically volunteered to move out but she's more than welcome to keep this place as far as I'm concerned.

I jog back into my room, reminding myself of the task at hand and I grab my duffle bag and start putting as many things as I think I'll need to get me through at least a few days in case anything happens. Better safe than sorry right?

My last stop is the bathroom where I pack up my shampoo and conditioner as well as my skincare products and throw it all into a plastic bag that I'm able to place easily on top of the rest of the items in the bag but before I'm even able to finish getting the rest of my toiletries together I'm greeted with the sound of Jina walking in.

"Y/n?" she calls out and I swear under my breath, trying to think of a way to make this whole situation as quick and painless as possible. "Y/n?" she says again, rounding the corner and finding me in the bathroom where I've started to pick up the pace and throw things in haphazardly wanting to get the fuck out already.

"What are you doing?" she questions me and I walk past her and back into my room and throw the bag in my duffle bag and zip everything up. "Please don't ignore me" she says in pretty much the most pitiful voice I've ever hear out of her and I scoff and roll my eyes. "You don't have the right to be acting like that. I'm moving out so don't bother moving out if you want the apartment" I say and throw on a baseball hat and walk out of my room and make a b line for the front door.

"Y/n please talk to me" she pleads and it's taking everything in me not to slap that 'poor me' attitude out of her. "You wanna talk? Let's speed this up for the both of us alright? You slept with my boyfriend behind my back, got pregnant and ruined my relationship and now I'm moving out. That pretty much covers everything if I'm not mistaken so let's just call this conversation over. I'll be back to pick up the rest of my shit later so don't touch anything" I say quickly without giving her a second to get a word in.

"When's later?" she asks and I roll my eyes at her pitiful excuse in trying to keep me here. "Whenever the hell I feel like it Jina. Sorry I can't make everything magically disappear right away" I say and turn to grab the handle but she just keeps going.

"Where are you staying?" she has the audacity to ask and I smile and shake my head at her stupidity. "Why would I ever tell you that? So you can come bother me with your lame excuses of apologizing. Or oh yeah even worse telling Jared where to find me so he can do the same thing. Why don't you guys do all of us a favor and stay the hell out of my life" I say and walk out the door, making sure to slam it right behind me.

While walking back to Jungkook's car I try my best to calm my breathing so I can hide what happened from him. There's no reason why he even needs to know that she showed up so might as well keep it to myself.

As I get closer to his car I watch as he looks up and sees me coming and gets out to grab my bag from me. "Is this everything you wanted?" he questions, taking it from me and placing it in the trunk. "Yep that's everything. Or at least enough to get me through the next few days" I say and get in the car with him following suit soon after.

"Are you okay?" he asks, concern now laced all over his expression. "I'm totally fine, why do you ask?" I question in the most awkward tone of voice I've ever heard come out of me. "Because you're shaking" he points out and grabs one of my hands, holding it between two of his.

"No it's okay I'm fine" I say, my voice now getting wobbly, matching the shakiness of my hands. "Something happened in there didn't it?" he asks and I shake my head but he raises a questioning brow at me which has me nodding a moment later, admitting to what happened. "Jina came home" I say and take a shaky breath in and out, trying to keep myself from crying.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he questions and I quickly shake my head and he nods his and lets go of my hand and turns to start the car and pull out of the parking lot but as soon as we're on the main road again he reaches out for one of my hands and holds onto it again, not letting go until we get to the store.

~~~~~

Grocery shopping with him feels weirdly domestic and felt as though we had done it dozens of times before, with both of our methods on how to shop quickly and efficiently matching up perfectly and so time flies and before I know it we're already putting the groceries away in his kitchen.

"We make a pretty good team huh?" he says and tossing me an apple and I catch it in time, further proving his point. "I guess we do" I say amusedly and take a big bite out of it. "No I'm serious! I swear whenever I go alone I always end up forgetting one of the most obvious ingredients and with your help I don't think I forgot a single thing" he says taking a bite of the apple he had gotten for himself.

"Well I'm glad to have been of some help. I feel bad since you've been doing nothing but taking care of me for the past twenty four hours and I haven't been able to give you anything in return" I admit, twisting the stem of until it pops off.

"You've given me plenty in return" he laughs off, as if I had said something ridiculous. "Oh yeah like what?" I ask, taking another bite of the apple and leaning back against the counter.

"You've definitely given me quite a few laughs today" he says and I scrunch my eyebrows together knowing that he's just making fun of me. "And you've definitely made my day a whole lot more interesting. Plus I learned some new things about you" he says and I gulp at that last part, knowing I've definitely overshared with him quiet a few times.

"Like how you prefer green apples over red. How you prefer white bread over wheat and that you get shy whenever I get close to you" he lists off, the last one obviously catching me off guard.

"I-" I start but I'm frozen in place as he gets closer to me and I just realized how I've backed myself into a corner. "Jungkook I-" I try again but my efforts die in my throat when he places his hands on either side of my hips, trapping me against the counter, staring at me as if he hasn't eaten in weeks.

"Do you wanna tell me why that is?" he asks, tilting his head almost taunting me. "I don't know what you're talking about" I say, doing my best to remain level headed. "You sure about that?" he asks and I nod my head in response, not trusting my voice to stay steady this time. "Then why are you holding your breath?" he says while placing his hand on my neck and using his thumb to press down on my chin, encouraging me to open my mouth which I do with almost no hesitation.

"I don't know" I whisper but he leans in closer, bringing his lips closer to mine. "I think you're lying" he say, his warm breath fanning my face, promises of pleasure hidden behind those words and it has me whimpering at the thought.

"Y/n, earth to y/n" Jungkook says, bursting the bubble of the incredibly inappropriate daydream I had been having in front of him. "I-i'm sorry what was that?" I stutter, making it clear that I hadn't been paying attention.

"Maybe you're running a fever" he says, walking over to me and placing the back of his hand to my forehead, his cool hand causing a shiver to run down my spine. "What makes you say that?" I ask, looking up at him, taking in his features from our closer proximity. "Because you're burning up, and your whole face has gone red" he says and I feel my cheeks getting even more red at his observation.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asks, making purposeful eye contact with me. "Yeah I just, I think I need to go lay down for a while" I say, finding the easiest escape route possible. "That's probably a good idea. I shouldn't have kept you out for so long" he says, guilt clouding his expression and I take one of his hands in mine without giving it a second thought making him jolt for a second but tighten his hold around mine just seconds later.

"I'm fine don't worry" I say with a small smile, "It was my fault for drinking so much. If I'm ever around you again and there's alcohol involved could you do me a favor and stop me from drinking so much" I laugh, trying to lift his spirits and it seems to do the trick.

"Of course darling" he says and places a kiss on the center of my forehead. "Now go lay down, you really are burning up" he says, having felt the heat radiating off of me from the kiss he had graced me with. I smile up at him and nod my head before turning around and heading back to my room.

Living with him might not be so bad. It's been a while since someone's taken care of me or even shown me such simple kindness without needing anything in return. I'm not sure if it would be the smartest decision but I'm definitely warming up to the idea...

prev / next Series Masterlist Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @00frenchfries00 @bangtans-momma @coralmusicblaze @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @marvelbun @j3nni-rs @evidive @beomieboi @forevrglow @jesssssmaybankk @teugiie @chaconnelatte @whoa-jo @snehal @xumyboo @mindurbuzznezz @diorh0seokie

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

595 notes · View notes

daengtokki · 5 months ago

Text

𝐼’𝓂 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓎𝑒𝓉…

Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 1.8k

rating: explicit/18+ (contains: jealous reader, Seungmin teasing, f receiving oral, over stimulation)

────────────⭒♡

“Jagiyaaa, come here…what’s the matter?”

You set yourself on the far side of the couch, paying no attention to how your post-shower towel falls around you, “nothing, I’m okay…” and look absently at your phone.

“Why no hug?” He coos.

Of course he has to say it like that. He sits down gently and wraps his fingers around your ankle, “no hello kiss? I missed you.” You look up at him and shake him loose, but he grabs you again and squeezes. “Are you gonna be a little brat?”

The swiftness in the change of his voice makes you heat up, but you decide to stay strong against him, or attempt to. “No.” You grab the towel and tighten it around your chest.

“Then tell me what the problem is, unless you want it forced out of you”

Head still down, you peek at his hand wrapped tight around your ankle. It slides up, very slowly, until it gets to your knee, and he pushes it out of his way.

“I don’t like the silent treatment.” Seungmin moves until he’s settled in the empty space between your legs, “look at me…please,” and forces them open a little more. The phone is swiped from your hands and tossed to the floor, and now you look at him. His eyes are narrowed, his face is serious as he sucks on his lower lip. “That’s better. Now…what did Minnie do?”

You start to open your mouth, but he interrupts…

“And don’t say nothing”

“My phone was pretty quiet the last few days”

Seungmin’s eyes grow big, and he puts on a good, dramatic frown. He lets go of your knee, and then he’s up and gone, and you desperately want him to come back. Instead, he picks up your tossed phone and gently sets it on the coffee table. Back turned to you, he speaks again…

“I’m sorry, I know I was really bad at keeping in touch this time”

This is the first time he’s been bad at it, which is why it feels off. Seungmin is always great at keeping in touch, even when he’s busy. Sometimes you can't keep up with him. Deep down, you know you're being stupid, but you can't stop yourself.

“The last few days were kind of nonstop, and the fansign yesterday went on longer than planned,” he turns and looks at you, and waits for a response, but you don’t give him one yet. “Do you forgive me?”

“Big fansign? Bigger than usual?”

“Maybe a little bigger…not much different than they usually are”

“Lots of hands to hold?”

Seungmin tilts his head to one side, and smirks before slowly making his way back to you, “yes, lots of stays.” He sits again, but this time he leans over you and hovers, an arm on each side of your waist. “Lots of hands to hold.”

You free yourself and push him a little too hard, and he laughs as he hits the back of the couch.

“Come back, sweetie…what’s wrong?” But he doesn’t move. Seungmin sinks into the couch a little more and sighs. The apartment quiets, save for the light sound of music coming from the kitchen. He waits, and waits... but after a few minutes, impatience sets in. “Please come back so I can hold your hand.”

The bedroom door opens, “I don’t wanna hold your hand," and then slams behind you as you head for the kitchen.

“Why did you put clothes on?”

“So I can make you lunch”

“You don’t have to make me anything…get over here”

When you ignore him again, he gets to his feet, and you watch from the corner of your eye as he gets closer and closer. His hand clamps down on your elbow, and you’re spun so suddenly, you get no chance to resist. You stare at him, wide-eyed.

“I want my kiss”

“Okay...then take it”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you realize what you've done. His lip twitches into a little smirk, his eyes narrow and darken, and the bubbly music surrounding him is such a contrast...you have to smirk, too.

He doesn’t take his kiss. Seungmin grabs your waist, pulls you close, and throws you over his shoulder. “If you’re gonna act like a brat, I’ll treat you like a brat.”

"Put me down...Seungmin...dammit." You try to kick your legs against him, but he has you gripped tight around the back of your knees. You plant a loud slap across his back. It doesn’t faze him—he keeps walking casually toward the bedroom, hitches you up a little as he pushes the door open, and a few seconds later, drops you on the bed. You mumble to yourself…

“Hmm?” Seungmin’s hands go right to his waistband, and instead of tugging at them, he slides one hand in and runs it roughly over his dick. “Take your clothes off,” he snaps, but smiles as you finally do something he says. “You know what I was thinking about all day yesterday?”

You’re sure you can guess, but you know he’s going to show you.

He climbs onto the bed, and places a few warm-up kisses on your thigh before his face disappears between them, and your mind numbs to everything but the sudden heat of his mouth. He moans into you, satisfied. You whine as his tongue slips inside, moves in and out, every curve of his mouth and chin and nose work you perfectly—Seungmin does this so often and so well, he could do it in his sleep…he could do it completely wasted, and he has.

Your thighs are squeezed painfully tight as he spreads you further apart and makes more room for himself, but he can never get enough. He slows down, though, and you grab a fistful of hair as he looks up and licks his lips. You’re all over him, shiny and wet.

“Why you stopping?”

He lets go of your thighs, you release the fistful of hair, and he rolls onto his back, “get on.”

Before you move, your eyes travel to his dick pressing hard against his sweats, and he shakes his head. “Not for you, not yet. On.” But he does free himself, and he does slowly stroke as you get to your knees. “Turn,” he spins his finger in the air, “you can watch.”

Seungmin’s voice is so calm and sweet as he gives his orders, and you can hear him mumble happily to himself as you straddle his mouth. He doesn’t complain when you run your hands across his stomach and chest, but you don’t dare go any further.

It’s hard, watching him touch and stroke himself…bending down and getting a taste would be so easy from here. He dives in, and you moan. His hips jump up and tease you even more—the slow, careful strokes are hypnotizing.

“Let me get you wet,” you whine and grind hard onto his mouth. “Please.” The temptation is getting to be too much, and maybe he won’t really punish you for it. This is fun for him, but he’s going to want to fuck you after he makes you come. You grind a little harder, and you can feel the faint stubble on his chin against your clit. That, and his soft, warm lips sucking you dry; his tongue pushing in and out, back and forth, is going to make this quick. You bend all the way forward and set your lips on his stomach, and his hips twitch. You roll yours hard into him, grind until you feel your orgasm rising. Seungmin releases himself and both hands grip and knead your thighs as you come hard—you forget you could suffocate him for a moment and put all of your weight down as you ride it out, but he keeps squeezing, and licking, and moaning with you.

Another one starts to build, and you let him know with a hard roll of your hips, even though he has no intention of stopping. He lifts you off of him, very briefly—you hear him pull in a shaky breath, and see his chest rise as he fills his lungs with air—and then you’re back on him, grinding against the subtle, deliberate movements of his mouth and tongue. The second one is so close, but Seungmin makes sure to take his time and enjoy himself. His mouth closes around your clit and teases, stops and starts, kisses gently when he thinks you're getting too close. The noises you make speak volumes to him.

"Minnie...Minnie..." you push yourself against his tongue in a desperate attempt for more friction, but he lifts you up just enough to stop you.

"...please let me”

As soon as you say please, he pulls you back down and finishes what he started, holding your thighs still as they shake, but letting all of your weight fall on him again. And he keeps going.

“Baby, okay,” you pant and struggle to hold yourself up, “okay.” Nails digging into his arm eventually gets to him—you crawl away and free yourself from his grip.

“Get your ass back here,” he grabs your leg as soon as you turn and hit the bed, and holds you still, “I’m not done with you yet,” then pulls, and he pounces, and this time, he slips two fingers inside.

“Minnie please." You gasp from the pressure, and his innocent giggle sends a new wave of pleasure through your body. But his mouth returns and forces more out of you. Teeth graze your clit, and a shiver runs up and down your spine. Seungmin bites down gently and laughs again when you whimper...pull at his hair...give in and push your hips into him. As soon as you let yourself relax, you come again, and it’s somehow even more intense than the first.

“Gonna tell me?” He grabs a thigh again and squeezes, puts all of his weight down. All you can manage is a little wiggle of your hips when he bends down and licks. “Be a good girl, tell me exactly what’s bothering you.”

You speak up before he starts again. “Did they hold your phone hostage, or…did you find someone more interesting to talk to?” It comes out staggered as you catch your breath.

“Mmm, so jealous. C’mon, you know me better than that...you know what I always want when I come home.”

As if you need another hint, he comes down and licks again. Your hips twitch—you’re swollen, and sore, and sensitive, but you know he’ll make you come again if he chooses to.

“You think there was someone I wanted more?” Seungmin’s voice is still husky, and a little demanding, but his soft side is beginning to break through. “Hm?” He takes his cock in his hand and gets more comfortable between your thighs.

“No…” You squeeze your legs around his hips and pull him closer. “No…I’m sorry—"

Seungmin shakes his head and smiles wide, “I kinda like it when you’re jealous.”

��♡

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin fanfic #seungmin x you #kim seungmin x you #kim seungmin smut #skz seungmin #seungmin smut #dom!kim seungmin #dom seungmin #dom kim seungmin #dom!skz #skz x reader #skz fanfic #skz smut

285 notes · View notes

strangersteddierthings · 10 months ago

Text

Rockstar Life

It might have all been forgiven, if Eddie had called. If Eddie had called and begged forgiveness immediately.

Steve could believe- would be willing to look past one drunken mistake.

But Eddie doesn't call.

Eddie doesn't call. Not in the morning after. Or the following day. Or the next.

Steve doesn't reach out either, because how can be he expected to? Paparazzi caught Eddie shoving a mysterious man against the wall in a dark alley, captured their heated kisses and how they barely separated for long enough to get into the back of an uber, and Steve knows as soon as he sees the pictures that he won't be reaching out.

He's not the one that's done anything wrong.

It takes three days for Steve to hear from Eddie. It's a shock, a genuine surprise, because it's face to face. Steve hears the front door close, and he thinks it's Robin, come to check on him again so he doesn't even turn around from where he's making a quesadilla directly on the stovetop.

He does freeze completely when it's not Robin's voice he hears.

"Steve, I am so sorry. So fucking sorry. I can't even begin to explain how sorry."

Three days ago, Steve might have forgiven him.

Today, he's not feeling so generous. He turns the burner off and scoots the half-cooked quesadilla to the cooler side of the stovetop before turning around.

Eddie looks wrecked. Dark bags under his eyes, made even darker by his paler than normal skin, hair a type of messy Steve hasn't seen since the spring break Eddie was in hiding and unable to take a proper shower. He looks heartbroken, distraught and upset. All things Steve felt up until this exact moment. Now that he's face to face with the love of his life, he feels nothing.

"Am I moving out, or are you?"

The noise Eddie makes is heart wrenching. Steve's not so numb and hateful to not recognize that. "Babe, please-"

"Do not call me that," Steve interrupts, "not when you were probably whispering that to someone else just days ago."

"Ba-Steve. Steve, please. I swear it was a mistake. It- I was way too drunk and high to be thinking clearly-"

"I don't want your excuses, Eddie. I want to know if I'm packing my things, or if you are."

"Steve, can't we talk about this?"

That makes Steve's blood boil. "Talk about it? Talk about it? Now you want to talk about it? You should have wanted to talk about it the second you slunk from that guy's bed. Or did you have to kick him from yours? Or, worse, has it taken three goddman days to hear from you because you were still in bed!?"

"No!" Eddie cries, "no, it didn't- it was just-"

"Stop!" Steve shouts, "I don't want to hear any details! I don't care if that uber only made it a block before you came to your senses and bailed. That doesn't- those pictures- you pinned him to the wall, Eddie!"

Eddie is silent, shrinking in on himself in a way Steve's never seen. Steve pushes down the urge to comfort him.

Steve is the one in need of comfort. He's the hurt party here.

"If I were sober, it never would have happened," is all the reply Eddie finally gives. It's not good enough.

"I can't trust that!" Steve turns away, pressing his hands against his eyes hard enough to see light that isn't there. "How am I supposed to believe you? You didn't even- you didn't even call. It was like- like you didn't even know that I knew. But you must have found out. That's why you're here." Steve drops his hand and turns around. "Who told you I knew?"

Eddie swallows. "Max."

Steve nods because of course it was Max. She was the one who handed him the tabloid with the picture in it, three days ago. "So, if you didn't know I knew, you would have, what, never told me?"

"NO, no, I just- I didn't know what to say. How to say it. But then Max called yesterday and-" Eddie says Max's name with too much bite, like it's a curse. Like Max tattled on Eddie instead of exposed his betrayal.

"Shut. Up," Steve growls, "you don't get to be mad at Max for your fucking mistake! I've know you're a goddamn cheater for three days, and it's not until Max let you know that I knew, that you decided to fix it? Well, it can't be fixed, Eddie!"

"Steve, please," Eddie is crying, and Steve's seen him cry a handful of times before but this one hurts deepest. Steve's the reason for the tears, and because you don't just stop loving someone overnight, that hurts.

"No. No! I can't trust you! How many other times has this happened?-"

"Never, never I swear-"

"- Would you have ever said anything if you hadn't been fucking caught on camera?!"

"Yes, of course I would have!"

"How am I ever going to believe that?" Steve cries, "I had to learn that the love of my life cheated on me at the same time the rest of the goddamn world did! Jesus Christ, Eddie, when you said you wanted that rockstar life, I thought you meant like, big fancy house, grammy's and an invite to the met gala. Not goddamn sex, drugs and rock n' roll!"

For the first time since Steve's known him, Eddie Munson stands before him with nothing to say.

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @skepsiss @afewproblems

#steddie #my fic #hurt/no comfort #cw cheating #its a modern au but steve doesnt use social media #just a lil ficlet #i have no plans to continue as of now

732 notes · View notes

mvrkieboo · 2 months ago

Text

Old Bloodhounds

P31 | first steps ahead

TW : suicide

All throughout the meeting, Yangyang had his eyes fixated on you, and only you. So after the meeting was concluded, you practically teleported to the door, not giving Yangyang the chance to catch up to you.

Your shoulders flinched, and you felt your soul leaving your body for a second when a hand wrapped itself around your arm just after taking four hurried steps outside the meeting room.

You turned around to see it was Mark, surprised to see you so spooked, but guilt quickly bled through, realising you had a mob waiting outside your building this morning. No wonder you were so startled. He quickly let go of your arm, raising both arms in front of him.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to spook you after what happened this morning. I just wanted the chance to talk to you." He actually sounded apologetic this time, you gave him that.

When you saw Yangyang approaching from behind Mark, you took hold of Mark's wrist and pulled him along as you walked away, trying to get as far away from Yangyang as possible.

"You wanna talk? Let's go." You spoke through your teeth, taking a turn to go down the stairs, as you led a dumbfounded Mark by the wrist.

Yangyang clicked his teeth watching you run away with Mark and turned on his heel, paying no mind to Aeri and Xiaojun calling out his name as he walked past them.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You let go of Mark's wrist, looking around. It was a secluded spot far away from the MPA Faculty's parking lot, so you're sure you wouldn't have any chance of running into Yangyang as he had drove here. When you finally addressed Mark, his mind snapped back into the reality. He had been staring at you as he touched the wrist you gripped on earlier. He can't remember the last time you had your hand on his person.

"I—I wanted to apologise. To you." He uttered out, voice sounding almost choked up, as if his voicebox didn't expect to be used in this moment.

"For what? It's not like you were the one who caused MNA Week to happen three weeks earlier—"

"No—not about that, but for how I had treated you days after our impromptu...reunion." He interrupted your assumption, taking a step closer to you.

He saw your face twist in confusion and he realised you weren't aware of Yuno sharing a screenshot of your crash out messages with him. He schooled his expression, trying to summon the courage of being able to humble himself before you, after all these years. To not let his ego and ardent loyalty to his longtime friend mess this up.

"Yuno, he showed me the texts you sent to him yesterday. You mentioned how my apology from the other day was really insincere, so here I am redoing it. I want to give you a more sincere apology that's actually deserving of your acceptance. Whether you forgive me or not is entirely up to you."

Instead of your empression turning stiff, he instead saw how it turned into an angry one. You were sick of people trying to expose your identity as Yuno's 'bitch' sister to the public, of your privacy being intruded on by psycho fans—and now Yuno sharing a screenshot of your heartfelt texts to Mark? When you turned to walk away, Mark was quick to hold on to you with a hand on your shoulder.

"Y/N! I admit it was shitty of him to share those texts with me, but trust me, if I hadn't seen them, I wouldn't realise just how unreasonable your brother and I had been to you." He pled, making you stop in your tracks.

You were still facing away from him, but you didn't move an inch. When you remained in your spot, still frozen, even after he let go of your shoulder, he took that as an encouragement to keep on talking to you.

"Last week, I only apologised to you because I saw how it was hurting our bureau's progress, when I should've apologised for hurting your feelings with how much of a dick I was. You had only ever been polite and even nice to me ever since you splashed tea on my jacket that day. I had been nothing but nasty to you, and I'm sorry for that—"

"Shut up, Mark." You spoke snappily, and the poorly hidden choked sob right after was what stopped him from feeling so offended.

He glanced at your shoulders and saw how it was trembling, as you tried to keep your crying to a minimum volume at all cost. Slowly, he rested his hand on your shoulder and turned you around. There were tears streaming down your face, your nose red, and your eyes were at risk of getting swollen shut from all the crying.

How much had you been crying these past two days?

It's been so long since he's seen you cry, and the last time he did see you cry, it was over him cutting his ties with you in that highschool hallway.

"...It's my fault. It's all my fucking fault this is happening. Yuno—that clip of him cussing me out—it's my own fault." You sobbed, sliding down to crouch on the floor as you broke down.

After snapping out of the shock of seeing you cry, Mark quickly crouched down too, placing his hands awkwardly around you. Slightly panicking while also bewildered as to why you're breaking down like this.

"All of this wouldn't happen if I didn't cause Yuno to hate me so much—but why wouldn't he? He thinks I abandoned him and dad when they needed me most—but I didn't contact him because I shouldn't! Because if they knew I had other family members, they'd go after Yuno too! And dad! I had to protect them, so I did what I had to do—" You sobbed, and didn't realise Mark going still at your words.

"Y/N, what are you talking about? Protect Jae from who? By doing what?" He urged, growing concerned over your ramblings and how alarming it all sounded.

Who was 'they'? Why would 'they' go after Yuno and your father if 'they' knew about them? What did 'they' put you through?

"I can't—I can't tell you, and I can't talk about it. Because it still hurts just remembering it—and Yuno shouldn't know, because I know how much it would crush him. You know just how close we were back then, Mark. It would crush him."

Mark's heart broke over at the self-blaming—because he could really see that you genuinely believed it to be your fault that all of this happening to you. Then there's your near incoherent ramblings, at how much you deserved Yuno's hatred, but also how conflicted you were at how much it would crush Yuno to know the things you did to 'protect him and your father'.

He placed his hands on both sides of you face, raising it so your eyes met his.

"Y/N, whatever it is, you should talk to Yuno about it. He never stopped caring for you. He deserves to know—"

"NO! Mark, you don't—"

"Understand? Of course I don't understand, you have told me nothing about what had happened to you, and judging by how much it's driving me crazy to know what it actually is—I know Jae would feel the same. If the reason why you didn't contact Jae before is to protect him, he deserves to know why now." Mark spoke softly, but you could hear how grounded his voice was, and felt how his hands went up and down your arms to comfort you.

"But I don't want him to feel guilty. He doesn't deserve it." You sniffled, your tears slowing down and your breathing in control now.

You looked Mark's well coached expression fall apart. Something hit his chest and he could feel a stone lodged itself in his throat for a moment.

"He should be apologsing to you nonetheless. His behavour was absolutely inexcusable, and the same goes for me too. I'm sorry for acting like a dick, and I'm sorry for not being there for you when you probably needed me. I would really like to see you give Jae the same opportunity to apologise to you sincerely, Y/N." He could feel his own voice wobble but who gives a fuck?

You were silent for a second, your eyes falling away from his as you stared at a spot far beyond him for a long moment before you nodded. Everyone's been telling you the same thing, and all of them had cared for you, this advice coming from their concern over you, and in a complete cycle, the concern that was stemmed from how much they cared for you.

But oh God, it still terrified you just how easy it is for concern and worry could turn to a hindrance. It was risk to let these people in.

But it was now a risk you had to bet on.

When you got to the apartment, you saw Yuno sleeping on the couch with Spotify playing on the TV. You wondered if he waited for you. After Mark managed to convince you to start opening up, he and you went out to have an early dinner together, and you even brought a takeout order that you knew Yuno would like.

It was nice to be able to spend time with Mark like that, when he's not hating you for something you had no control over. You always knew you missed him, but you didn't realise that much. Did you still like him?

Mark also told you about how Yuno was planning to apologise to you sincerely, so you assumed tonight would be a good time for both your brother and you to get everything out of the way. Everything. You walked up to him, shaking his shoulders lightly to wake him up.

Yuno opened his eyes to you standing beside him, holding a delicious smelling container in one hand. Oh damn, what time was it? He last ate during lunch hour. He sat up groggily, rubbing on his eyes as you walked to the kitchen area's island. The same island you, Geonwoo and Woojin used having your really late and unhealthy dinner.

"Wha—what time is it?" He spoke out in a relatively deeper voice than he usually used.

"It's nearly 7 p.m. I brought you takeout, so come here and eat." You patted on the takeout you placed on the island, and watched as Yuno took a minute to gather his bearings and thoughts as he fought away his sleepiness, all the while he stayed seated on the couch.

You could see, even from just the side of his face, on how he's processing his surroundings right now. Right, you. His younger sister. His estranged younger sister that he's been nothing but an asshole to, when she's rightfully upset at the situation his carelessness put her through. Apology. Yes. He needs to apologise you, more sincerely this time.

The girl at the kitchen area island—his younger sister. You. You brought him takeout. Wait, you brought him takeout? You were being nice with him? He hadn't apologised yet.

"Yuno, come on. The food's going to get cold." Yuno.

He sat up and briskly walked to the island, hair sticking out in all different directions with eyes peeled wide. After you pushed the takeout container to him, he moved to open it but suddenly came to a stop, opening his mouth to speak but you were already away, pouring him a tall glass of water for him.

As you placed the glass near him, you noticed he wasn't touching his takeout, much less even opened it yet. Yuno opened his mouth again, adamant for tonight to be the night.

"I want to have a moment with you first. We need to talk." You could hear his voice wavering despite its attempt to sound grounded and serious. However, considering the determined look he was wearing, you decided to follow along.

"Okay, so we're doing this before you have your dinner then. What do you want to talk about, Yuno?" You moved to take a seat beside him.

He nodded, eyebrows scrunching as he gathered his words.

"I...I want to apologise to you, sincerely, for everything. I've been nothing but an asshole to you ever since I moved in, when I know you're doing me a favour by letting me rent here. Even more so, when you still let me stay here after how...insensitive I'd been to you for the chaos I caused you. That video clip of me cussing you out, the words I used—it's inexcusable." The more he talked, the more his eyes went down to stare at your feet instead.

"It was inexcusable, and your insensitivity to my very valid reaction to the mess actually hurt me more than the witch hunt itself, but—it's not like I'm unaware where your...anger came from. I'm still the girl that abandoned her own brother and father." You spoke with a bitter voice.

Your words made his eyes snap back up again.

"No, that's still no excuse—"

"Yuno, I'm not excusing your actions, I was just pointing out the root cause of this situation—which is your inability to wrap your head around my decision to live with mom after the divorce was finalised. You're even more angry at the fact I never contacted you again after I moved away." You rested your elbow on the island.

After a few beats of silence, his shoulders sagged, and even his head dropped. He was admitting to it.

"Y/N, can you blame me? Like, I get it, I really do. You were always closer to mom anyway, but the radio silence? And the fact that you weren't there for dad when he was diagnosed with lung cancer? I—just as I was about to accept the reality that you chose to live with mom, your radio silence really made it seem like you didn't want anything to do with us anymore."

You see the tension working its way up his shoulders, and you quickly held his hands—both of them.

"Yuno, I'm not...It's been a while since I last saw mom too, and her husband...he's been dead for a while." Your voice wavered as your lips trembled, opting to stare at his kncuckles instead of facing him directly.

"What?"

You gathered your strength and worked through that pebble lodged in your throat, spitting it out with one big deep breath.

"Um—gosh. Shit. I've never told this to anyone who doesn't already know. Uh, four years ago, my stepdad's business was getting hit with major losses, investors were backing out, and once he got desperate enough, he turned to take out loans from a loanshark." You explained slowly, but mainly because these words were fighting their out to get clawed out of your chest.

It was hard. This was really fucking hard.

"His business still went under, by the way. Hah! But he was too fucking prideful to file for bankruptcy, too prideful to admit he now no longer had the means to support me and mom, so—he killed himself. Hanged himself in their bedroom." You were summoning strength from Hercules himself to fight back the tears, but even Herculean strength couldn't stop the tears from coming out.

You noticed Yuno was starting to grip on your hands back, his fingers wrapping your hands. When you looked up, his eyes were wide with disbelief, anguish and anger.

"Mom, she—when we both discovered his body, she wanted both of us to run away. And—and you wanna know what she said after I refused, because I was afraid that they might kill us once they caught us? She said she was still running away without me, because she'd rather die than feel the guilt of watching me being turned into the loanshark's slave to pay off the debt we inherited, now that her husband's dead. And she did just that—ran away and abandoned me."

"No. Did they really...? Did you?" Yuno choked on his words, not able to word his questions completely, not even in his mind.

"See—her now dead husband was the only child to his parents, and his parents were long dead before he hanged himself. So the debt had no other direct heirs than me and mom. But with mom gone, that was entirely on my shoulders then, and if they knew you and dad existed, they would put you as collateral if I messed up. That's why I cut off contact with you.

To pay off my stepdad's debt, they...they made me work for them. For free. Right after school, I was to head to their illegal establishments and—and do whatever they told me to do, without pay. For a while I was homeless, slept in public bathhouses, only slept for not more than 3 hours everyday. But the loanshark gang was taken down by law enforcement just a year and a half after I began to work with them, so...so it wasn't that long—" You were cut off when Yuno wrenched his hands away from yours only to grip on your shoulders tightly.

"It wasn't that long? A year and a half, Y/N. When you were still in school. Four years ago, you were a sophomore highschool student. You were just a kid. That's a part of your youth spent paying off a dead man's debt." His voice cracked in the middle of it, and you saw the tears swell in his eyes.

"Why would you keep this from me? Afraid of me and dad being put as your collateral? We're your family and we share our burdens, not be each other's burden. You're the youngest baby of our family, you should've never faced that alone. How could you keep this from me? I should've been there for our Y/Nnie." When he began to push back the hair that was stuck on your face, that's when you fully broke down, choked sobs fully blocking anymore words from coming out coherently.

Jaehyun pulled you in, pressing your face to his chest.

7-year-old you cried at the scrapes on your knees, shock fully blocking out the pain momentarily right after you crashed your bike. You were so confident on not getting the training wheels too.

A 9-year-old Yuno—who went by Jaehyun at the time, and opted for the name Yuno in middle school—came to you, scooping you and sitting you down on the park bench. He pushed back the hair stuck on your face.

"Shhh, I'll put a band-aid on it. It won't hurt anymore then. I'm here for you, y/nnie."

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : my fingers are fucking broken now. ignore any grammar/spelling mistakes pls

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

• taglist • [CLOSED]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @neozon3nha @herebyaccident0 @injunnie-lemon @mystverse @dearmonamour @v-6893 @sehunniepot @bee-the-loser @nessaassen02 @luluvhs @sunghoonsgfreal @docilismo @neocrashed @soobinbunnie5 @cigarettesafterjae @dudekiss3r @kittydollzz @urlocalbeaner5 @polarisjisung @conwunder @wonupuppy @jae-n0 @413ktz @kimsaerom @meowtella @aerivrs @swanyvess @morkleesgirl @sthwaaberry @nominzn @grassbutneo @spicyryujin @koizekomi @sunflowerhae @markeroolee

#nct fanfic #nct smau #nct scenarios #nct mark #mark lee #mark lee x reader

164 notes · View notes

unveranosinseb0514 · 3 months ago

Text

Mark Webber: Yes Chef!

Pairing: Mark Webber x F!reader

Summary: After waking up and smelling something delicious, you went to the kitchen to find out Mark is a splendid chef...but that wasn't the only thing he's good at.

Tw: Minors dni!!!! 18+ Only, Smut, fluffly? Mark's a sweetheart, cum eating, Mark is a bit obsessed, a little teasing, Oral (f receiving), overstimulation if you squint, think that's all for now!

Words: 3,6k

A/N: i'm really sorry this took so long! And i'm sorry it's short! Couldn't wrap my head around it, this past few weeks were a mess! But i really hope you all enjoy it, and if there's something wrong, do forgive me! The pictures also aren't mine!

Masterlist

"Good morning sleepy head!" Mark's voice startled you a bit as you came downstairs to the kitchen, you smelt something but didn't even knew he could hear your footsteps approaching.

Yesterday you slept a bit early, and no matter how much time you got resting, the yawning and tiredness on the face are still there.

He was cooking, with a gentle and silly smile on his face, content in the most simple manner, looking at the food, which you also did with a small grimace, while rubbing your eye and coming closer.

"Mornin...what you're doing?" Your voice was soft, your kinda sleepy state left it like that, which he noticed and couldn't help but think it's too cute while you eyed his food

"Oh this? A...normal american breakfast, i think? Eggs, bacon" he explained simply, focusing on the eggs again while you still looked kinda puzzled at it

"No?! It has... vegetables, no American would eat that healthy, specially in the morning" you couldn't help but make a joke and make him laugh, he was a bit laid-back, something he was always around people he felt comfortable with, but specially you "but it does smells fucking delicious...and it looks good, how come you never told me you could cook?"

You hop slowly and with a smile on the counter, close to where he was cooking to watch it, you could swear you saw a faint blush on his cheeks because of the praise on his food

"Thank you sweetheart, and yeah...i'm proud to say that i know my way around a kitchen" he said winking playfully, what made you smile, paying attention to his face while he was beautifully focused on making breakfast for you both.

The Aussie had a big nose, that is no doubt...and it made him even more beautiful like that, the kind of nose that you felt the urge to just curiously let your fingers glide on the silhouette of it...the other part of your brain saying that it would feel like heaven to sit on...but you just ignore, can't have that kind of thoughts in a Sunday morning, you didn't even had breakfast yet, so you focus on his eyes instead, on the light, they looked a lighter green in the light, with a gentle gleam, his short beard looking smooth to caress, and his hair somewhat messy, looking like he woke up a few minutes ago, but when you decided you were eyeing too much you looked down at the food again, the man completely oblivious to your attentive stare.

"Is this what you eat on Down Under?" You teased him, which he let out a funny scoff

"Sometimes i just have a regular coffee" he shrugged his arms like it was nothing, as if he didn't said something a bit alarming

"Mark?! What the hell? You do know that you can't just not eat and drink coffee in the morning right? Are you trying to kill yourself?" you pushed gently his shoulder which made him laugh a little

"Don't worry babe, it's not like i regularly do this...and plus, i'm not always hungry on the mornings" he said quietly and with a relaxed smile on the lips, you rolled your eyes at his statement and shook your head but something catch your eyes, his strong jawline being more prominent when he turned his face to the side a little while finishing the eggs, it was a sight to see him cooking and you got a bit disappointed that you didn't catch him cooking since the beginning, you could have appreciated more.

You tried to stop daydreaming about his face and skill, looking around, only now noticing that the house was too quiet, and that wasn't normal since it wasn't that early and you both aren't alone there, and while making a small grimace, you couldn't help but ask.

"Where's everyone?"

"I think Fernando and Sebastian said something about a lake close down hill, probably swimming, more exciting than the pool here...and Jenson is off to the closest town, he wanted to buy something" he said while making small faces while talking, probably was doing something while they were talking, because he looked like he didn't payed attention that much.

"Oh the lake sounds nice, why did you stay?" You asked curiously, seeing him turning off the stove to search for plates on the cupboards

"I wanted to stay here for when you wake up, i told the boys to go without me." The man said casually as if he wasn't expecting you to have any reaction to him being nice, he always was, of course, but you weren't expecting that.

"Wait..." You said slightly surprised and getting silent for a few seconds before continuing "Really?! You didn't have to do that, Mark"

"But i wanted to, didn't wanted you to wake up and be all alone" he explained while sliding carefully the eggs with vegetables on the plate, next to another plate full of toasts, which you didn't even saw when you came.

He kept saying things like it was the most common things ever, like everybody did what he's doing, but that left you kinda surprised and quickly warmed your heart.

"That's too thoughtful of you." You said smiling gently and sliding off of the counter to get close to him, he did look even taller that close but you're short anyways, it shouldn't surprise you at this point. He looked at you with a gentle smile. "That is probably the sweetest thing i've ever heard, I could literally kiss you right now."

"Then do it, sweetheart"

He suddenly said and your playful smile vanished, you both were eyeing each other in silence and he was serious about it, with a faint smile on his lips but you heard the tone, a blush appearing on your cheeks, you got so close to just throw yourself on his arms and claim his lips, both looking at each other's mouth but after a few seconds, his face grew slightly hot since you didn't reply or moved, he thought he was stupid for suggesting something like that, he thought he fucked up and desperately tried to pretend he didn't meant that.

"I-I..forget it, it was a joke, don't worry" while stuttering he went to focus on something else to not let the air awkward but you quickly tried to stop him

"No, Mark, hey, look at me" you laugh a bit tenderly, getting close to him and reaching for his face, to make sure he was looking while you were speaking, and when your eyes met, he knew you understood he was embarrassed because he thought he misunderstood "you just caught me off guard, that's all."

Slowly, you stood on your tip toes and him, even surprised, held your waist with his big hands, turning his head a little to the side, you kissed the corner of his lip gently, he almost gasped but held it in, didn't knew you would actually do something like this, sure did left him surprised.

You were grinning at him now, caressing his cheek bones with your thumbs, speaking in a lower gentle voice "I think that's enough for now"

"You... didn't have to do that, you know?" He said playfully, adjusting his hands more comfortably on your waist, looking more relaxed while pulling your body closer and looking down at your beautiful eyes, which he always loved, it was probably one of his favourite things about you, those curious gentle eyes.

You almost felt tempted to kiss his lips fully this time, almost. Both were close still, he was holding you, almost wishing he just pulled you on the kitchen island and kissed you till you were begging him to do more, he had almost the same thoughts and you could see in each other's eyes that, the tension increasing a little, then he cleared his throat, ending the trance, both blinking a few times, avoiding eye contact and looking elsewhere, his touch getting lighter on your hips until the big hands weren't there anymore, made you feel disappointed deep down inside...but the tension was still on the air.

"Well, how about we make some pancakes as well? We need something sweet" you suggested with a slight shy smile, putting one lock of your hair behind the ear, the thought that passed to the older man's head was that the only thing sweet that he was starting to crave was you, but he thanked the heaven's you couldn't hear it, he shouldn't feel this way about you... but it's not like he could control the way his body reacted or the paths his thoughts went.

"Good oil! Let's do it" he said getting his mind out of his pervert thoughts, but you eyed him quietly because of the slang.

"Mark... what's that?" You sounded confused and he just laughed.

"It's me saying you had a good idea... nevermind" he waved his hand playfully.

"You gonna have to teach me one of those someday" you smiled and turned to grab all the things you needed to make the pancakes with him.

"Sure thing, as many as you want!" Moving to help, he spoke.

Australia had some pretty original and funny slangs that you founded so interesting, like right now, Mark had a beaming smile on his face while he grabbed what you couldn't reach from the cupboards, you could totally say he's "Grinning like a shot fox" which kinda means he's entirely satisfied and happy with that time you both are having together.

"So...no bacon?" You asked playfully starting to mix all the ingredients slowly.

"Now what's the point after the eggs with vegetables?" He asked playfully as well, stretching his arms, and while doing that, the shirt got pulled up a little, showing the hem of his white boxers, you almost...almost reached and touched his abdomen because it was quite tempting to feel how smooth his skin would be there...

"You're right, yeah"

After he understood that talking about the kiss didn't fucked your friendship, he got a lot more closer physically, and you kinda started to lean on him more, both your bodies doing something completely automatic. After finished mixing the ingredients for the pancake, it looked pretty consistent, the mixture had that familiar pancake color, but your eyes got a glimpse of the blue food coloring on the counter, it made you get ideas. The older man was a bit curious, he was close to you, resting one of his heavy hands against the counter gently, using his other hand to rest on your hip while he looked over you to what you were doing when you grabbed the food coloring. Have him this close was relaxing, you looked sideways to his bigger but gentle hand there, couldn't help but take a small step behind, absentmindedly, your body seeking the warmth of his, which was very welcomed because his own body took a small step closer, your back already pressed against his chest in a comfortable way, he was slightly bent, to get close to your height, both making small and casual talk while grabbing the pan to make the pancakes.

"Can i get a taste?" Mark whispered close to your ear, he wasn't planning to make you feel a goosebump travelling through your skin...but it's not like you controlled those things.

You turned your head slightly, almost touching your face with his, your breaths mingling, from this close you could see the grayish hair and a few on his beard that was growing, he was a bit older than the others and that was clear to see...those greying strand's just left him even more attractive.

"the mixing? I mean- of course it is, duh" you said laughing a bit shy, he just smirked but didn't answer, so you rushed, encouraging him "sure, go on"

You took the opportunity to taste it yourself, dipping gently one of your fingers but before it could reach your mouth, he grabbed your wrist, at first you got confused but he had a face that he knew exactly what he was doing. Slowly, he brought your finger to his parted lips, tasting the mixing, and you looked complete amazed by the scene so closely, with your lips slightly parted, a bit with the breath hitched because he did that out of nowhere, feeling your cheeks warming up, he made a small face and hummed as he slide your finger out, relishing the taste, clicking his tongue.

"Hmmm, that's delicious and it's not too sweet" he said with a gentle smile, but deep down inside he knew exactly what he was doing this time, provoking you a little.

For a few seconds both just stared at each other, he seemed to be challenging you, in a way, with that gaze, and you did took up on that challenge because all of sudden your lips smashed on his in a searing kiss, which he quickly responded...he has been waiting for this since you entered the kitchen, just never showed it.

You turned around and quickly held softly his face, moving your thumbs in a gentle caress, he saw that as an opportunity and fast enough lifted you by the hips untill he was between youregs while you sat at the counter, immediately embracing his neck to enjoy better the feeling of your lips together, pulling his body closer, licking in a provoking way before biting not too harshly, only made him groan, a shiver went through your bodies, that only made the aussie deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue slowly to dance with yours, despite the kiss being a bit desperate, your breathes ragged already, it was also unhurried, there was a fire between you both but...it wasn't sloppy...not that it would be bad if it was, but he was taking his time to savour that and it only made your skin burn more, specially when he held your chin and tilted a little more, using the other hand to held the side of your neck, applying just a little pressure with his thumb on the chin, pulling down slightly, the hand felt big enough to hold your neck just the right way...jesus, you swore that you could become so putty on his hands, and he somewhat felt that, heard your sigh between the kiss, the corner of his mouth curled up a little, sliding his hand that was formerly on the chin to your waist, feeling your body just a little, clutching your skin there.

You let out a small whimper, making him sigh after hearing, discovering every spot that made you react when he touched, it aroused him to no end. You slide one of your hands to his chest, almost testing what his reaction would be when your curious fingers found the hem of his shirt and pressed your palm at his abs, feeling the hot skin gliding on yours when you moved up and down, even using the tip of your nails carefully, seeking a reaction, and of course you made him undoubtedly shiver and grunt.

"Fuck...let me...let me taste you" he whispered breatheless against your lips, like he needed badly, and it did made you stop, gently fluttering your eyes open with your hand inside his shirt. Deep down inside he was hoping it wasn't too much, but he felt too tempted now, almost aching for that, you could clearly see that on his eyes, they were darker now.

"Go on...please" you asked close to his lips and that made him cuss under his breath again, thought that having you asking so softly to him to do it was...so, so hot.

Quickly the tallest one started to kiss down your neck, taking his time, making you throw your head back slowly so he could have more room, he enjoyed that fact, humming against your skin as he nibble and suck against the sweet spot there, close to your collarbone, you let out a lovingly whimper, wondering on the back of your head how did he find that so quickly, not minding if your neck might have his marks, head a bit clouded with lust by now. He was the biggest fan of the sounds you let out and he made sure to try and make you react to everything.

"Hold on to me" he whispered and carefully held you by your thighs when you hugged his strong neck, placing you on the kitchen island, it was bigger and more comfortable.

He pecked your lips two times tenderly, it made you a little soft, laying your body against the colder surface when he pushed without force, he didn't need to anyway, you were too comfortable, too into that to even let your nerves take over because nobody has ever done that. Carefully pulling the hem of your pajama shirt up, not wasting any time to press his warm lips on the soft flesh, you could feel he was holding back a little, his fingers flexed a bit nervous sometimes, hell...he wanted to eat you out like you were his last goddamn meal, like he was fucking starving, famish to have just a taste, but he couldn't, at least not now, he knew you were new to this, he didn't wanted to overwhelm you.

"babe your skin is so soft..." He praised, what did made your cheeks gain a little color while he kissed up and down your stomach, the shirt hem was pulled until he could see the swell of your breasts, it was tempting but didn't pulled further. He teased you a little, sometimes making the tip of his tongue trace the skin close to the hem of your pajama pants from hip to hip, making your stomach do flips, anticipating and almost torturing both of you, because he was as eager as you were.

"S-Stop being such a tease Mark" your voice small and trembling while squirming gently when he sucked a mark next to your hip bone, earning a chuckle and a bite there that made you whine.

"Someone want this as bad as i do...have a little patience, i want to make this good for you."

You kept looking down, only your head up while your body was laying on the kitchen counter, heart pounding like crazy on your ribcage, breathing uneven, face hot, not even thinking about what the boys would think if they ever discover you both did that on the kitchen.

He started to finally pull down your pants, but he made sure to pull your panties as well, because he was patient and he wanted to make things go smoothly for you...but he was getting a bit desperate to get a taste.

"Oh...now that's a pretty sight... you're already wet" he whispered a bit amazed and with a bright half smile on the lips, eyes shining like two stars, he almost stopped just to watch for a little while...you looked so goddamn gorgeous to him and the look he gave made you tear your gaze away a little shyly...gosh when will you get used to that?

He dropped the clothes on the floor, running his big and heavy hands on your bare legs now, exploring your skin, getting almost too close to where you needed him but never touching, it made a few goosebumps travel through your body.

The man was enjoying the view almost too much, took all his strength to not bury so suddenly his face between your legs, but he lifted one of your legs, starting by kissing and nibbling up and down the inner side of them, getting close enough to your core so you could feel his breath there - which alone made you whimper - but he held himself back and started to do that with the other leg, tasting your skin, he wanted to remember that so made sure to give both legs the same treatment. Sometimes looking up to see your flushed sweet face, eagerly watching him too close, with the pupils getting progressively bigger. The older man smiled, looking down at your glistening pussy, presenting to him like the most delicious feast...it looked even more appealing than the breakfast long forgotten that he made...couldn't help himself staying too close, so in a swift move, he placed one of your legs on his shoulder, not wanting to lose any more time, brushing his tongue against your clit for a taste, making you jolt because of the sudden contact and pleasure, a new and foreign feeling...but it felt good, his tongue was so warm and wet, and he, on purpose, circle your clit with the tip of his tongue before sucking and putting slightly pressure there one time, making you mewl and squirm because it was a little too fast.

"Sorry love... it's hard to go slow with you spread so beautifully like this" he whispered kinda breatheless, burying his face there after, lapping at your juices, it was so fucking good and you were moaning and whimpering a bit loudly, glad that nobody was on the house right now or that might be embarrassing after.

You constantly moved your hips a little, his tongue explored every inch of your sensitive and wet skin, spreading your lips so he could press the tip against your entrance a bit to provoke, groaning everytime he tasted you, his eyes closed, and that sight alone made you moan and blush, he actually enjoyed that, you could see how joyful he was about doing this with you. He used both of the hands to go around your legs, placing them on each side of your hips, making sure to keep them pressed against the kitchen island, you were moving too much and he had to keep you steady, but you couldn't help it when it felt so delicious, so relaxing, you never had a sensation quite like this, it's almost as if he was taking a huge weight of your body, almost as if your body was about to mold with the surface you're against, every flick of his big tongue making you dizzy with pleasure, anticipating the next one, the next move, how such little thing was making the whole room feel warm, how it was making you want to blabber incoherent things but also chant only his name over and over again.

You gripped and pulled softly at his beautiful hair, everytime he felt that, couldn't help but moan against you, making you mewl because of the vibration, his beard that was growing was a little ticklish on the best way possible, his big nose bumped, pressed and brushed against your little bud when he got a bit too excited - sometimes on purpose - and it made you feel shocks of pleasure, arching your back suddenly, pressing his face there even more, breatheless moans coming out, almost closing your legs but he held it quickly.

"no, no, keep your legs open baby, be a good girl" he suddenly gripped your thighs and pressed them against your stomach gently, making you even more open, holding it that way so you wouldn't be able to close them, no matter how much they tremble, how much pleasure you felt, just keeping them pressed there. You could feel your juices dripping down his face as he eat you out like a starving man, making you get out of breath for the fifth time, arching your back, body warming up so much, burying his face there even more, placing your other leg on his shoulder while he moved his lips and tongue without a break to give you pleasure and because he wouldn't dare to stop now.

"Please...Mark...fuck! More..." You pleaded a little desperately, running your nails against his head, making him shiver, pressing his fingers against your waist while he was gently exploring you with his tongue like an expert, as if he made this everyday...but oh boy how he did wish that he could do that with you everyday, to please you all the time, to be able to feel your sweet nectar. Made sure to adjust your legs better on his broad shoulders, breathing against your skin.

"Oh i love your moans... they're so pretty, moan more for me sweetheart" his voice was smooth, while inhaling, trying to contain himself to not make you come more than once, to not overstimulate you the whole morning with how divine you tasted for him, eyes almost rolled back everytime, your brain almost shortcutting with how obsessed he became doing that, moaning his name even more melodic as he asked. "you taste so sweet baby...so good..."

He focused on your clit right now, licking slowly, alternating his movements, making you sigh and pant, with your eyes closed, head thrown back while one of your hands held firmly his locks. He loved so much to see you like this, so much that he made sure to keep his eyes open so could see your reactions closely and bask himself on the fact that he was the one giving you that much pleasure, your chest going up and down quickly, your body sweating. Eagerly sliding his open big hand from your stomach to your breasts, suddenly grasping one of them, playing with it, squeezing and pinching, rolling your nipple between two of his fingers, increasing your pleasure.

The other hand, he brought to your pussy lips, lazily running his tongue in circles on the most sensitive part still, just carefully brushing teasingly his fingers there. That familiar warmth on your womb increasing slightly faster, much more than what you were expecting.

"M-Mark...y-yes... that's...so good" you whined, his only response was to abuse of that point now, moving his lips and tongue nonstop, alternating between licking and sucking, even gliding his teeth there on a gentle manner, all while being careful enough to not hurt you, still doing that like his life depended on it, gripping your other breast on his gentle but eager hand, kneading it, enjoying how it almost fitted perfectly on his hold.

Your legs shaking, torn between arching your hips and getting a little away because it was fast, it was so much pleasure, the pressure building quickly, you almost couldn't hold it in, even though deep down inside you wanted to prolong this feeling, seeing him, down on his knees, eating you out like you were his favourite meal, a bit sweaty, enjoying himself just like you were enjoying yourself, but he could feel and see your muscles contracting a little, your legs trying to close around his head.

"You want to come, baby? Hum?" He asked taking his lips away a few seconds, and you almost whined for the loss of contact, but quickly came back, burying his face there sometimes and growling because it tasted so good to him, the sounds sloppy...it almost made you blush even though you're so close to cumming...you never thought somebody would enjoy that much, but here he is, practically worshiping that.

"Y-Yeah...god...yes please..." You cried out a moan a bit whiny, trying to move but he held you down, being much stronger than you, but your strength was going away anyways as your orgasm approached.

He was being a bit of a tease now just to hear you whine, couldn't get enough of your sounds, sometimes he stopped using his tongue and lips, only brushing tortuously slow your button that was already red and a bit swollen, getting more sensitive than what you were expecting

"N-No!...Mark please, don't tease a-again" your voice was just a soft mewl, your eyes closed, body trying to move impatiently, back bending, almost folding, and he had a half smile, eyes full of awe and lust.

"You're gorgeous like that sweetheart..." It was a whisper close to your sensitive parts, on purpose, blowing air while he kept moving his finger gently, it was getting you frustrated on the point of almost asking for him on the most hopeless way than you were already asking, but you just whined a bit loudly, rolling the hips.

"Alright baby, alright, since you're too good for me, you can come" he said deciding to end your torture and finally captured your clitoris on his lips, making you moan loudly at the so needed contact, sucking it with a little bit of force and speed now.

After a few seconds, you couldn't hold back and ended up cuming on his tongue and lips, making a mess while you chanted his name loudly, legs shaking, trying to close, but he held firmly, with him groaning and you almost in complete ecstasy forcing his face there. The old Aussie kept moving his head until he felt you came down slowly from your high, even though you hissed sometimes because you got pretty sensitive, it sure didn't stopped him to lick you clean a bit gentler, trying to savour the last few moments, where you almost pushed his head away, relaxing your hold on his locks, he knew his head might hurt a little but having the satisfaction to see you that relaxed, satisfied and vulnerable...hell, he would let you pull a dozen of times. He had such a beautiful smile on his lips...which were glistening, half of his face shining in the light, he was literally dripping with your arousal, that only made the blush on your already reddening skin to deepen, closing your eyes again quickly. He did saw, chuckling, cleaning his chin and lips - without really wanting to - gently taking your limp legs from his shoulders, watching you trying to breath normally, checking if everything was okay, and in no time he grabbed your clothes, being careful while pulling them on again, before so easily lifting your body from the kitchen island, your eyes closed, but finding strength to hold his neck, laying your head a bit too relaxed on his shoulder, made him smile warmly, kissing the forehead, before you stole two pecks with a cute smile on your lips this time.

"You know...i might be a little too relaxed, and definitely satisfied...but i'm still hungry" you whispered laughing while he held you on his arms still, knowing your legs were far too wobbly to stand and he couldn't let you laying there on the counter, he was happy to hold you until you felt like you wanted - and was capable - to move a muscle.

"Oh i'm afraid i might have to skip this delicious breakfast i made...i'm satisfied with something much better now, so it's all yours" the man said teasingly, close to your cheek, pressing his nose there after letting a kiss, you slapping playfully and with zero force his chest, which he only let out a quiet but funny laugh.

All that you guys did felt too right...you didn't have that urge to ask what that meant because...it was already implied, and not everything had to have a reason, you were learning that. It felt wonderful, he's holding you after he gave that much pleasure, everything was right and that's it, nothing more has to be said about something so natural like the desire between two people.

Tag: @chenlesbitxh

#imagine #smut #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 smut #mark webber #mark webber smut #mark webber imagine #the hill house #thh #f1 fanfic

253 notes · View notes