#i still can't believe we got that chuck e cheese thing

[lastweeksshirttonight]

Without getting me started on the complete and total nonsense that is the Emmys moving this show into a new category so other people can win for the first time in a decade for reasons, I love this clip show of the most recent season.

(If he loses to SNL I swear to fucking god)

[derealfeelz]

Lone Wolf (Kodoku's Lilacs, The Life of a Flowstar, No. 15)

I, as a kid, got social anxiety, and that makes it hard for me to exactly communicate with people. This even affects me with virtual communication for some reason, I just don't got an interest in speaking or even texting to people I guess. I am trying my best to grow out of it, as I did make some friends at school and although we don't hang out, we chat and snap with each other. Well, we just snap 90% of the time lol, but even if we do talk (text) about something, it's just small talk it seems.

I always seem to spend time alone when I get the chance, it's the best way I can express myself with feelings. I don't do this first part btw, but I can write down my feelings on a piece of paper easier, or concentrate on a certain something, as long as I feel no one is watching. I'm not too paranoid as in I can't exactly do anything around anyone like that, I can still do stuff, I'm just a shy kid I guess.

Back in 2020, I was 13-14, which was what I assume depression was kicking in. That was around the time I truly start to be what the first paragraph says, and it's a pain. I remember not even knowing the meaning existed before I starting calling myself this, but from 2020-2022, I called myself a lone wolf, because I believed I was going to be alone forever. Especially in 10th grade when I pussied out and did virtual school, even when I had my mom with me, I was still that lone wolf that wanted friends, but was too shy to even find them. Just sitting in my room, looking at this glowing brick with letters and other buttons on it with school work, it's just something that I didn't even want to do as I already had panic attacks over.

When I felt that I was going to be the lone wolf forever, I knew I had to find a way to cope, and I have, and it's the internet. The internet has so many things to do on, like games and movies, while where I live, there's not really anything to do around here compared to my home state. It's just trees and forest mostly, not like a nice town with a Chuck E. Cheese, real life just felt boring. Don't get me wrong, I'm self aware that I'm still in real life and this is just something virtual, I just knew what to do on here than the real world.

I might be spoiled now, now that I think about it lol. With the video games that I want on a PS5, a computer to do more activities, I'm just too relaxed, and I need to fix that. I recently decided to study for my driver's license as there's not a store that close to us lol. I wish I lived in a neighborhood with my friends, so it can be easier for us to hang out, but I guess it might be better here than being drunk and using vapes there. Oh well, I guess I'm done for tonight, goodnight yall.

Sincerely, Kodoku.

[eliasfoster1-blog]

“All In.”

It felt so good to say it. I imagine it’s the same rush you get from bidding. Looking calm and collected, pretending like you don’t care you just blew $100.00 for those Star Trek limited edition collector plates you couldn’t afford as a kid. [Insert buyers remorse]. I wanted to say it. I needed to say it.

I push all the chips into the pot. Maybe I put too much in. Yeah, I did.

All I wanted was to hear the clacking sound of chips colliding with each other.

Then the pregnant pause. “Let's see 'em.” said the dealer.

I was positive my cards were a path to victory. After all, I had a straight. I was unstoppable. The odds of a straight were 254:1. What would you have done?

With confidence, I turn over the royal family. Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Ten. “Straight!” I basked in the glory of winning the largest pot of the night. My glory was short lived. 0.50 seconds lived.

He reveals his cards. A diamond flush. The odds 508:1. His confused look said “Is that good?”, but his eyes said something sinister “Money,money, money”.

I had lost everything, my winnings, my glory.

To a flush.

Flush sounds about right. I can hear the money swirling in the toilet bowl. He grabs his chips like cookie monster– yum, yum,yum.

Only one game can have such suspense. Poker.

The day before, I binge-watched on YouTube videos. Memorizing hands, studying rules, mimicking player styles, visualizing tells, all of it. That night, my swagger had style, my walk had a skip. My confidence was high, but my ego was higher.

Your first experience with poker was probably a lot like mine. Like an abstract painting. I was either, a work of genius or just garbage everyone believed was good.

I was going to be the next Daniel Negreanu. Once reality checked in, I was the Gomer Pyle of poker. Turns out, I was “purty” terrible at the game. I had forgotten all those YouTube videos, and now, I was playing terrible. We think we have everything planned until we forget it all.

Then again, maybe it wasn’t all bad. An ignorant player breaks the pattern. He plays dangerous, and wins a few random hands. Remains cool with a great hand, excited for a bad one. It’s all a shot in the dark; if you have enough bullets, your bound to hit something.

Good thing we weren't playing with real money or I’d be homeless. The money wasn’t real, but the adrenaline rush was. It was so exhilarating. Poker had surpassed my Fortnite building days. Forget about the scar assault rifles or dance-offs. I was chasing the ace of spades like Motorhead.

One of the best features of Poker is—it’s a social game.

Half the fun is in the company you choose. A few close friends and one frenemy is the right formula for an exciting night. That way, you don’t feel bad losing to your friends. And taking money from your frenemy feels so good.

You can learn a lot about your poker friends from the drinks they bring to the table. Each person's personality is reflected from their drink of choice.

Micah drinks patron tequila, a squeeze lime with a salted rim. James is classic American beer guy. Alex likes to sip dark amber ales that have enough barley to make liquid Ezekiel bread. Kevin’s glass is full of pretzel M&Ms. He eats his M&Ms like ice stuck at the bottom of the glass. His nature is quiet and very unpredictable.

For me, a whiskey neat and Haas apéritif in separate glasses. Much like my personality, I can't chose one over the other, so I opt for both. Not really a good poker trait.

With my losses, at least, I could glean lessons from the games. Since I knew this wouldn’t be our only game. I might as well gather as much intel as I could from this experience. My strategy was to observe the other players. If I could pick apart the other players; maybe I would have something for next time.

Which of your friends are like mine?

The loose-passive player.

Micah sweats bullets when the pot gets big. He’ll play dangerously until his chip collection looks like Chuck E. Cheese tokens. Then he’ll hog his chips, hoping the others will eliminate themselves before he runs out. With enough chips, maybe he’ll climb into third place. Most of the time, the blinds cause him to bleeds chips like a ruptured kidney. He’s always last.

The tight-passive player.

James only plays the best hands he has. Mr. Flush —AKA Cookie Monster— took my “all in”. He takes no chances. He plays his cards and not the players. During my “all in”, I knew he had good cards; but not that good, I thought. I thought wrong. He’s very dangerous.

The loose-aggressive player

Kevin is all wild. He’s a quiet fire that only gets loud after it consumes the surrounding brush. His introvert demeanor is a mask that hides a calculating, yet irrational man, who’s pursuit of chips can only be described as a scorched earth policy. His aim is to be the best and only the best. But he is only second best.

We have a couple of good players but the best of us is the man with bread in his cup. Alex.

The tight-aggressive player.

Alex plays poker like samurai. He strives for the show down. Until only two samurai are left with their katanas still unsheathed, bleeding. He bets high only for you to back down. This gives him stimulation. He manipulates you by increasing the rush you get from knowing you can lose everything, and yet gain everything for nothing. And he plays it very well.

Consistently winning, he collects chips like taxes, and builds chip skyscrapers.

He’s style of aggressiveness backed up by his charisma and cockiness—which I hate to admit—works. He's the best and with good reason.

“What’s the secret? Any tips? Any tips you got?” I asked.

“Study, watch, play, play and play.” He added “But that doesn't make you unbeatable, just good.”

One night of binging YouTube may help but no matter how much you study, forums you read, hands you memorize, theories you remember, cards you count, witness the tells that tell, or odds you calculate.

Poker is a game of chance. No amount of knowledge will give you a non-losing streak, but it helps.

Poker is a very fascinating game. Unlike most games, poker is played by rich, poor, artists, mathematicians, and all collections of people. Your experience helps you develop skills that are useful on the table and real world. After playing, I guarantee you won’t look at a job interview the same again.

In the end, poker is a fun game that comes with warnings. Like a Habanero pepper, over consume and the burn can overpower you. My addictive personality needs to be tame. I can’t take poker lightly. We’ve decided never to play for money. It can and has ruined lives, broken up families, and killed friendships. Before playing for money, consider the warning. But definitely play.

You may stink the first time you play, but that's good; you can only go up from there. Take time to observe and have an introspective look at yourself. Enjoy your drinks, gather intel, recognize your weakness. Learn patience because you’ll have your revenge. The people you play will come back for more chips. But this time, you’ll be cookie monster.

If you lose to a flush, at least, you get a good story out of it.