#i stayed up late bc i had to wait for the energy/strength to go upstairs

[exrayspex]

ugh my dad needs to get a new job and get his health insurance to be in effect so he can get his knee fixed asap bc we are barely scraping by rn and we can't keep it up much longer like to keep from making his knee way worse that whole leg needs to be totally non weight bearing so he can't do anything around the house or yard. so my mom, on top of working a ton, has been mowing and weed whacking and weeding and cleaning up the dead rotting leaves from last fall he refused to take care of and i have been taking care of everything inside the house; meal planning, shopping, cooking, dishes, taking care of trash/recyclables, (cleaning should also be here but i literally can't lol) but on top of all this, our kitchen sink is broken and we had to shut the water off in the kitchen until we can somehow fix it (we did get a new faucet since we need one but installing it is another matter). so i have cooked all but one night for the past like 5 days since it broke ALL WITHOUT RUNNING WATER IN THE KITCHEN, and cleaning up afterwards is so fucking tedious, i have to rinse dishes with a watering can filled up in the bathroom! also my car is currently unusable as of last night bc the brakes aren't working right and the brake light is on (and the check engine light but uh, that's usually on lmao). we think/hope it's just low brake fluid, possibly bc of a leak in the line, but not sure. my dad was supposed to check that today but he didn't. bluh. plus it feels like our house is falling apart around us. well the wooden parts not the brick. that bird family is still living in the space between my storm window and the regular window panes in my room bc the sill had a chunk rot off and leave a hole. part of our porch is still not useable bc rotting away, two cellar steps are still broken, our back gate is broken, only two and a half windows can actually be opened, every single window sill and frame is rotting bc there's like no paint left on there, the kitchen sink obvs......and of course no money/time/ability to do anything about most of this anyway my original point to this post was that i just went to soak my nose and go to bed and saw that nobody ever rinsed and put away dishes after dinner and had to do it. even tho i had asked earlier if it was ok that i didn't clean up after it bc i was too tired and they said it was fine......but then didn't do it? someone just put some of the dishes in the sink and poured some watering can water in them. i'm not mad, but i'm worried. bc i can feel that i'm about to crash hard and it's clear my mom is too, and my dad either can't or won't do much to help